You Gotta Have Friends - January 2022
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January 2022 SPOTLIGHT ON SENIOR LIVING You Gotta Have Friends “You Gotta Have Friends.” More than just a song title, cancer death rates and recurrence of the disease than having friends can also mean living a more fulfilling and women without social connections; one reason for this healthier life as you get older. finding is that social contact appears to switch on and Unfortunately, says developmental psychologist off the genes that regulate our immune responses to Susan Pinker, author of “The Village Effect: How Face-to- cancer and the rate of tumor growth. Research has also Face Contact Can Make us Healthier, Happier and Smarter,“ shown that friends can inspire each other to have a the loneliest group of individuals in the United States healthier lifestyle, as well as help reduce stress, which are middle-aged or older, with a third of those between can lower blood pressure, decrease the risks of the ages of 45 to 49 saying they have no one to confide depression and heart disease, and reduce the odds of in. If you’re in that group, Pinker’s advice is short and to developing dementia. the point: Find a friend (and the more the better). “Social connections are as protective as regular exercise,” says Pinker. “A hug, a squeeze on the arm or a The Healthy Benefits of Friendship pat on the back lowers one’s physiological stress “Those with a tightly connected circle of friends who responses which, in turn, helps the body fight infection regularly gather — even if it’s just to eat and share and inflammation.” gossip — are likely to live an average of 15 years longer than a loner,” says Pinker, adding that people with active Face to Face or Screen to Screen? social lives are more physiologically resilient and While technology can be a boon if you’re unable to recover faster after an illness than those who are more visit your friends regularly—as we’ve all seen during the socially isolated. pandemic—for the best health benefits, says Pinker, A study of women with invasive breast cancer, for aim for real-world contact. example, found that women with the most social ties, “Facebook may help you reconnect with people from such as spouses, community engagements, friendships your past or even meet new friends,” she says, “but and family members, had significantly lower breast carrying on a friendship solely online will not provide
you with the same physiological tech entrepreneur Gina Pell to hometown of Rochester, N.Y., to St. and emotional benefits that a night describe “‘ever-blooming, relevant Louis to Washington, D.C., where out with your BFF will.” people of all ages who live in the she lived for eight years; on to present time, know what’s Baltimore for 13 years; then back Think Younger happening in the world, stay current home to Upstate New York; and As we get older and our friends with technology, and have friends now back in St. Louis. SPOTLIGHT ON SENIOR LIVING move away, become ill or, sadly, die, of all ages. Perennials get involved, Throughout her many moves, it’s even more important to keep stay curious, mentor others, and are she has kept many friendships and adding to our roster of friends. passionate, compassionate, creative, made many more. The benefits of Steven Petrow, author of “Stupid confident, collaborative, global- friendships as she gets older are Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old,” minded risk takers, and who know many, Thaler-Carter observes. who also writes frequently on aging, how to hustle.’” “Friends inspire me to try new health, and civility, recommends “Millennials can be Perennials. things, go to new places, and stay deepening the friendships you Boomers can be Perennials. Anyone aware of what’s going on around already have as well as making new can choose to be a Perennial,” says me, both close and afar,” she says. ones, even (or especially!) if they’re Petrow. “Being connected to old and new younger. friends keeps me young and happy, “New research shows that Keep the Old but Bring especially now that my beloved ‘intergenerational’ friendships provide in the New husband is gone,” Thaler-Carter value to all,” says Petrow. “To have Ruth Thaler-Carter is an expert at continues. “I have close friends I’ve friends well into old age, you need both keeping old friends and known my whole life, and when I’m them to be younger than you!”That’s making new ones. In her peripatetic in contact with them, it’s as if the why Petrow has chosen to identify life, the 68-year-old freelance writer years never passed, even though as a “Perennial,” a term coined by and editor has moved from her some of us are getting gray- or Vibrant Senior Living in All Seasons At Ashby Ponds, Greenspring, and Riderwood, weather won’t disrupt your day! Enjoy independent living, plus amenities to help you stay active and secure. Get your FREE brochure! Call 1-800-306-7271 or visit DMVSeniorLiving.com. 202590_WPTV 2A
white-haired, have grandkids/- nieces/-nephews (even great- grands!) or are retired. That shared life history is a wonderful thing, while new connections keep me growing mentally and emotionally. SPOTLIGHT ON SENIOR LIVING Especially in these continuing pandemic days, we all benefit from staying or becoming connected with friends both old and new. Social isolation can be dangerous on many levels.” Finding New Friends and get involved in an issue you foods section,” says Thaler-Carter, Not sure how to go about finding care about. fondly remembering the “Social friends? Here are some suggestions n Take your newspaper or tablet to Safeway” in Georgetown, famous that have worked for Thaler-Carter your neighborhood coffee shop, for both informal and organized and others. bookstore, pool or other location meet-ups. n Get a dog and take it for a walk you enjoy visiting. “I’ve made new n Check out online neighborhood friends when someone initiated a groups like NextDoor.com or (good for both you and the dog!). conversation about something I meetup.com to find like-minded Love animals but can’t have a pet? was reading or working on, and nearby neighbors. Local animal shelters often host by commenting aloud about an n Be the one to reach out. Whether events where you can meet fellow article or offering the paper to you live in an apartment/condo animal enthusiasts. someone else,” says Thaler-Carter. building, a detached house, or a n Volunteer with a charitable cause n Join (or start) an alumni senior living residence, introduce or organization. Do good while association for your high school yourself to neighbors and doing good for yourself. or college, or a club for people consider hosting the occasional n Find a way to get involved with a neighborhood social event. from your hometown. The new hobby. Enjoy knitting? Yarn Washington area has many such n Join a health/fitness club or shops, for example, often have opportunities. When Thaler- recreation center. A shared effort drop-in knitting circles where you Carter moved from St. Louis to at better health can be the start of can stitch and chat. Or take up a D.C., she found a St. Louis Club a beautiful friendship. new sport. Susan Koontz Laber, whose members knew or were n Enjoy reading? See if your local 72, who now lives on Maryland’s related to some of the people she library has a book club you can Eastern Shore, started playing knew in Missouri. “Having St. Louis join. golf four years ago and joined the in common was a great way to local LPGA amateur golf league. n Take a trip. If solo travel isn’t your make new friends with little “I’ve met many interesting ladies thing, the not-for-profit Road effort,” she says. as we learn and play the great Scholar, a leader in educational n Join and be active in a professional travel for baby boomers and game of golf together,” she says. organization or membership “We really cheer each other on! beyond, offers trips to 100 association. Work-related contacts countries and all 50 states (as well The league also sponsors local often become good friends. as virtually during the pandemic). happy hour events as well as n Go to the grocery store around According to president and CEO other social activities! It has been the same time on the same day of James Moses, the organization’s a very fun way to meet new the week. Other “regulars” could learning adventures are designed people and enjoy their company.” become friends as you “bond” to foster social connections, n Join (or start) a neighborhood over produce, treats and other bringing together people from all association. favorites. “I made a new friend just walks of life who share a passion n Join a political group at the by chatting about my preferred for learning. “The camaraderie our neighborhood or town/city level, seafood items in the prepared participants find on our programs 3A
is one of the things that keeps have changed and you’ve lost a follow their dreams and add more them coming back year after year, spouse or significant other, Rockville, living to their lives. At an Erickson and we hear so often how vital Maryland-based life coach Amy Living community, you can enjoy an these social experiences are for Schoen suggests joining support unbeatable lifestyle where your our participants.” groups such as New Beginnings finances are predictable; your stylish apartment home is maintenance- SPOTLIGHT ON SENIOR LIVING n Be the one to get back in touch. or Widow Care. Think about friends from In short, says Melissa Bachelor, free; your neighbors re warm and childhood, high school, college, director of George Washington friendly — all while enjoying peace past jobs; send an email message, University’s interdisciplinary Center of mind should your health needs change. pick up the phone, message them for Aging, Health and Humanities, on Facebook, and see if you can “as humans, we are social beings See our ad on page 2A still find common ground. and having strong social support Reconnecting can be a lot of fun, from family and friends becomes ABOUT THIS SECTION and it’s easy these days thanks to increasingly important as we age.” This special advertising section was produced by The Washington Post Zoom and social media. Custom Content department and did not n Online peer to peer groups such ERICKSON LIVING® involve The Washington Post news or as Supportiv or Facebook groups 1-800-989-6488 editorial staff. This article was written by Carol Sorgen, hired by The Washington such as the Over 70’s Friendship ericksonliving.com Post Custom Content department. Group (or groups for different age Active seniors choose Erickson HOW ARE WE DOING? ranges) can introduce you to Living retirement communities like For questions, comments and suggestions regarding this section, people from around the world or Ashby Ponds in Ashburn, Greenspring please send an email to even your own neighborhood. in Springfield and Riderwood in Martha.Cairnie@washpost.com. And if your life circumstances Silver Spring to pursue their passions, SPOTLIGHT ON SENIOR LIVI NG ISSUE DATE: MARCH 6, 2022 SPACE DEADLINE: FEBRUARY 7, 2022 MATERIALS DEADLINE: FEBRUARY 11, 2022 TO PLACE YOUR AD IN SPOTLIGHT ON SENIOR LIVING, PLEASE CONTACT MARTHA CAIRNIE. 703-675-2510 | MARTHA.CAIRNIE@WASHPOST.COM 4A
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