Wedding Preparation OUR LADY OF MERCY CHURCH - Our Lady of Mercy - Aurora, IL
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OUR LADY OF MERCY CHURCH Wedding Preparation
Our Lady of Mercy Church
701 South Eola Road
Aurora, Illinois 60504
(630) 851-3444 fax: (630) 851-3468
A message from our priests and deacons,
Congratulations on your engagement and desire to be married in the Catholic Church! Please know that
the two of you will be in our daily prayers. We look forward to celebrating with you! We also extend the
prayerful support of your parish family at Our Lady of Mercy.
We know that your wedding day is a big deal – something you are looking forward to with great anticipa-
tion! There are many details and costs that go in to planning the perfect wedding. We want to do every-
thing we can to help make that day special. We encourage you to also keep in mind that your wedding is
one day – your marriage however is for a lifetime!! It is with that perspective and spirit we ask you to fully
participate in the spiritual preparation for marriage.
The church is obligated to help couples prepare for a life-long commitment. Currently 53% of marriages in
the United States end in divorce. By requiring couples to participate in a formal church sponsored prepa-
ration process, we want to support you in a way that enhances a life-long commitment. The time we are
asking you to spend in spiritual preparation should not be considered a burden or hoops to go through but
instead, our loving care for you and your future.
Consider the length of time you spent preparing for your career and the ongoing requirements to keep up
to date in your profession. Marriage is the most important decision you will ever make in life. It is a voca-
tion. And just as a priest or deacon spends years in preparing for their vocation, it is with that same spirit
we hope you will embrace as you prepare for marriage.
Enclosed with this letter is a booklet describing the marriage preparation process for couples getting mar-
ried at Our Lady of Mercy Church. We are holding your requested date, but it is not considered confirmed
until one or our priests or deacons have met with you to verify that there are no impediments to be mar-
ried in the Church. Once that step is complete and there are no impediments, you can consider your date
confirmed.
May God continue to bless you as you prepare for a lifetime of love.
Sincerely in Christ,
Rev. Don E. McLaughlin Rev. Mark J. Bernhard
Pastor Parochial Vicar
2
Our Lady of Mercy Catholic Church shares your happiness for your future wedding and looks
forward to journeying with you as you prepare for the sacrament of matrimony. Marriage is
the most important decision and reality of your life. Your decision to enter into marriage is
a decision to become one in a unity of love. Marriage is not merely a civil contract but a
covenant between a man and a woman. If both are baptized, the marriage is a sacrament,
a symbol of the unity of Christ and the Church, and as such, a means of grace giving
strength to the husband and wife to live out their commitment on the path of holiness.
The following Diocesan parish policies are listed to guide you in preparing for your wedding
at Our Lady of Mercy.
AGE
If either the future bride or groom has not reached their nineteenth (19) birthday by the
date of their wedding, special approval will be needed for the marriage.
WEDDING DATE
• The bride or groom or either set of parents must be registered members of the Our La-
dy of Mercy.
• At least six (6) months (minimum) notice is required by the diocese. Saturday weddings
may be scheduled for 12:00 Noon or 2:00 PM. Friday evening weddings may also be
scheduled.
• For weddings beginning at 12:00 pm, the church will be reserved from 11:30 am to 1:30
pm.
• For weddings beginning at 2:00 pm, the church will be reserved from 1:30 pm to 3:30
pm.
• For a wedding on Friday, please call the parish office for available times. Weddings are
not celebrated on Sunday.
PREPARATION
We realize that the immediate preparation for the church and the reception are im-
portant, but most important is the spiritual preparation. Regardless of where you are to-
day with your faith journey, our hope at OLM is that during the marriage preparation you
both have a personal encounter with Jesus Christ. This preparation period is important to
having a happy and healthy marriage. Therefore, the Diocese requires a six month prepa-
ration period prior to the wedding date.
PRESIDER
• If you have a request for a specific member of clergy to preside at your wedding,
please notify the parish office as soon as possible. If the wedding is to take place out-
side of a Mass a deacon may be assigned or you may ask a deacon to perform the cere-
mony. If you do not have a preference a priest or deacon will be assigned to the wed-
ding.
3
• If you have a relative or close friend who is a deacon or a priest, they are welcome to
preside at your wedding as long as the OLM Pastor provides Delegation.
• If the priest or deacon is assigned to a church outside of the Diocese of Joliet they must
provide a Letter of Suitability that they obtain through their Chancery Office.
• If you wish the presiding priest or deacon to attend your reception, please invite him as
you would any guest. Do not expect him to come if he is invited at the last minute.
• Contact your presider six (6) months prior to the wedding date to schedule your first
meeting with him.
DOCUMENTS NEEDED FOR THE MARRIAGE
1. Prenuptial Questionnaire. The priest or deacon will meet with the bride and groom to
complete the Prenuptial Questionnaire and identify that the couple has no impediments
to be married in the Catholic Church.
2. Witness Affidavits. The bride and the groom will each need two people to meet with a
member of clergy to complete a Witness Affidavit. These witnesses should be people
who have known the bride or the groom for a long time and truthfully attest to the fact
that the bride/groom has been baptized and/or that the couple is free to marry. The
presider will explain this during your preparation.
3. Baptismal Certificates. The bride and/or groom who was baptized Catholic must pro-
vide a newly issued baptismal certificate. No more that six months prior to the date of
the wedding, contact the church where you were baptized for a new, original baptismal
certificate. A photocopy is not satisfactory. This is a common request that all churches
provide on a regular basis. Catholics, please ask the church of your baptism to note
your first communion and confirmation information on the back of your baptismal certif-
icate. The church of your baptism should have your first communion and confirmation
record on file. The certificate issued is kept as part of your file and cannot be returned
to you. For non-Catholics, your original baptismal certificate (a copy will be made here,
and the original will be returned to you) or a letter from the church of your baptism is
required.
4. Engaged Encounter Certificate. Couples are given an opportunity to step away for
their hectic schedule to focus on each other and the time the relationship deserves. At
the end of the weekend you will be provided with a certificate to bring to the church
office and put in the wedding file.
5. Sponsor Couple/FOCCUS. (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and
Study) The bride and groom will be paired with a sponsor couple who will email a link
for the FOCCUS Survey. Conversations with the sponsor couple help to facilitate commu-
nication between the bride and the groom and shift the thinking from the day of the
wedding to a lifetime together as a happily married couple. Contact John or Donna
Werle at 630-254-3778 or donna.werle@sbcglobal.net.
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6. Natural Family Planning Certificate. In NFP couples are taught to understand and live
God’s design for married love. NFP methods promote a holistic approach to family
planning which both respects procreation and has the potential to deepen the intimacy
of husband and wife. At the end of the session a certificate will be provided that must
be brought to the church office and put in the wedding file. There is a $50 fee per cou-
ple.
7. Marriage License. A marriage license issued by the Du Page County Clerk. YOU MUST
BRING THE LICENSE TO YOUR REHEARSAL. The marriage license can be applied for as
much as sixty (60) days in advance, but must be applied for at least one day before the
wedding. Both parties must appear at the DuPage County Clerk’s office at 421 N. Coun-
ty Farm Road in Wheaton; present proof of age, proper identification and a license fee
of $30.
8. All documentation must be completed before the marriage can take place.
INTERFAITH MARRIAGES (Mixed)
• We welcome persons of other faiths to our parish. Couples in which one party is not
Catholic are not required to have a Mass for their wedding although they are certainly
welcome to do so. The couple may have a Catholic ceremony without the Eucharist.
This is sometimes more comfortable for the families of the non-Catholic party. The
bride and groom should discuss this option and inform the parish office of their deci-
sion as soon as possible.
• Catholics are required by Canon (Church) Law to be married in the Catholic Form (Mass
or Ceremony).
• Catholics may be married in a non-Catholic Church provided that they have gone
through the Catholic preparation program and have received a “Dispensation” or per-
mission from the Bishop. A request for this dispensation is sent to our Bishop in Joliet
and he grants the permission.
ALTAR SERVERS (for Mass)
Our Lady of Mercy will assign two servers for your wedding Mass. If you have your own
servers, kindly inform the parish office at least 3 months in advance of the wedding. It is
customary to give the servers a small gratuity of $20 each. Please prepare two envelopes
marked “Altar Server” with your gratuity and bring to the Wedding Coordinator the night
of the rehearsal so they may be given to the servers on the day of the wedding. Altar
servers are not used for a Marriage ceremony without Mass.
OFFERING
In recognition of the need for stewardship in the maintenance and preservation of our
church, and to cover administrative expenses, the following has been established for the
celebration of a wedding.
51. The Wedding Date: A monetary stipend is due to secure the church. For couples where
they or their registered parents consistently contribute to OLM, the stipend is $250.
The stipend for non donating registered couples is $500.
2. To the Parish: The offering amount to the Parish on the day of the wedding is your de-
cision according to priorities and willingness to return to God a share of His gifts to you.
3. To the Priest or Deacon:: You can provide a free will donation the day of the ceremony
if you choose, however, no offering is expected.
4. Cancellation: If for some unforeseen reason your wedding must be cancelled, the fol-
lowing applies. Weddings cancelled more than six months prior to the wedding date
will receive one half of the offering returned. Weddings that are cancelled within six
months of the wedding date will not have any offering returned.
5. Fees for musicians are not included in the above offering amounts. Separate financial
arrangements must be made with the musicians.
READINGS
Please remember that your wedding in the Church is an act of public worship. Therefore,
just as you would not have liturgical music played at your reception, music of a secular na-
ture (i.e.; top 40, etc.) is not permitted for use during a wedding. When you begin your
preparation, you will receive a booklet “Together For Life” to help you select readings for
your ceremony. All readings at your ceremony must be taken from Sacred Scripture.
• The highlighted sections of the liturgy form located at the back of the “Together
For Life” booklet should be returned to the parish office three weeks prior to the
wedding.
MUSIC
Once the wedding date is scheduled the couple is expected to contact the OLM Music Di-
rector to schedule music during the ceremony.
• The Music Director will provide a packet of music choices and a CD to help with the se-
lection process. Assistance can also be provided in locating copies of music, sources for
purchase, publishers’ addresses, etc.
• In order to assure parish guidelines are followed, choosing from parish musicians is
strongly recommended. If other musicians are chosen, they must be made aware of
parish expectations provide their own sheet music and have music selections approved
by the Music Director.
• The Parish Music Director can provide information on string musicians and soloists.
• These guidelines apply to all weddings at Our Lady of Mercy, whether within a Eucharis-
tic Liturgy or with a Liturgy of the Word, even if the Presider is a guest priest or dea-
con.
6SANCTUARY DECORATIONS
All arrangements for flowers and the aisle runner are left to the discretion of the bride
and groom.
• No flowers are to be placed on the Altar or arranged in a manner that inhibits the cele-
brant. Large floral arrangements may be placed on either side of the altar on the steps
in front of the candles. These arrangements cannot be taller than three (3) feet (36
inches).
• Simple decorations (flowers or bows) may be placed on the end of the pews but must
be removed after the wedding. The end of the church pews have no arms on them.
Elastic or rubber bands should be used to secure arrangements to the pews. No tape,
wires or hooks may be used. No columns, pedestals or candelabras are allowed in the
aisle or sanctuary.
• We have a stand for the Unity candle with the taper candles attached. Your Unity can-
dle should be approximately three inches in diameter to fit the stand. We do provide
one.
• If you wish to place flowers by the statue of Mary, let the presider know when planning
the Liturgy. This arrangement is not to be removed after the ceremony; it is considered
a gift to Mary.
• If there is to be more than one wedding in the church on your wedding day, you may
want to consult with the other couple and share the expense of the flowers. Contact
the Parish Secretary if you wish to do this.
• If your wedding is during Easter or the Advent-Christmas season, keep in mind that
there will probably be seasonal decorations in church. These MAY NOT be removed
during your wedding.
• Our center aisle is fifty-six (56) feet long from the steps at the altar to the narthex
doors. We suggest using a runner no shorter than sixty (60) feet so that the wedding
party may assemble outside the Narthex doors and proceed down the aisle without
tripping on the end of the runner.
FLOWER GIRL
If you plan to have your flower girl throw petals an aisle runner must be in place. All pet-
als must stay on the runner and be removed along with the runner after the ceremony.
RICE/ETC
• Our Lady of Mercy prohibits the throwing of rice, birdseed, confetti or balloons.
• Bubbles or small bells distributed to guests as they leave church following the ceremo-
ny, may be used outside.
7ALCOHOL
Because of the solemnity of the marriage event, alcohol is strictly prohibited in
church or on church grounds before, during or after the rehearsal and wedding.
BRIDE’S ROOM & MINISTRY ROOM
The Bride’s Room located in the Parish Life Center is available to the bride and her attend-
ants to get ready / gather prior to the ceremony. (This room is also used as a nursery on
Sundays. The toys and other nursery supplies are not to be disturbed.) The Ministry Room,
located off the Narthex, is available to the groom and his groom’s men prior to the cere-
mony.
Food and soft drinks are allowed in these rooms as long as the rooms are cleaned up before
leaving; the rooms should be restored to the way it was found.
CLEAN UP
Because you will be busy immediately following your ceremony, it is recommended you
designate one or two people (not immediate family or wedding party) to check with the
wedding coordinator to make sure all personal belongings have been picked up. Invite
them to the rehearsal so they know which rooms are being used by the bridal party.
PHOTO/VIDEO
Pictures are allowed in the Church during the ceremony as long as photographers use good
judgment regarding position. Videotaping your wedding is permitted.
• Pictures of the bridal party and families can be taken in the sanctuary area of the
church immediately following the wedding.
• Two maps of the church are provided; they indicate areas the photogra-
pher/videographer are not allowed during the wedding ceremony.
• Only ambient lighting can be used for photos/video during the wedding ceremony; no
flash or external lighting can be used.
Please respect the Church by reminding your videographer and/or photographer of
these guidelines.
WEDDING COORDINATOR
Our Lady of Mercy is very fortunate to have its own volunteer wedding coordinator. The
Wedding Coordinator can help with any concerns pertaining to the rehearsal and wedding
ceremony. The Wedding Coordinator will contact you by phone or email a couple of weeks
prior to your wedding to review details of the ceremony.
8Summary of Fees
Weddings at Our Lady of Mercy
Church
It is customary to give the Church a stipend as a sign of your love reaching out to others in the pastoral
ministry of our parish, as well as to help offset the expenses of utilities and maintenance on the day of
your wedding.
Bride/groom/or parents registered with a history of regular contributions to OLM $250
Bride/groom/or parents registered with no history of regular contributions to OLM $500
A $100.00 deposit is required upon scheduling a wedding date.
Preparation Program
All couples are required to participate in the following preparation programs:
All couples take the online FOCCUS instrument $15.00 per couple
Engaged Encounter Retreat Weekend Consult www.jolietee.org for cost.
Natural Family Planning Workshop $50.00 per couple
Musicians
OLM Pianist/Organist $200.00
OLM Vocalist $150.00
Optional Instrumentalists As contracted
Additional fees may apply if a rehearsal are needed with outside musicians. Please consult with OLM
Music Director, Larry Harris for more information.
Altar Servers
Two (2) altar servers will be assigned if you are having the Wedding Mass. A gift of $20 each is appropri-
ate. No servers are needed when you are having the Wedding Ceremony.
OLM Wedding Coordinator
An OLM Wedding Coordinator trained in the protocols of weddings at OLM will be assigned to assist with
the details of your wedding liturgy and will contact you at least two weeks prior to your rehearsal. She
will conduct your rehearsal and be present at your wedding to coordinate the bridal procession as well as
assist you with other details of the ceremony that day. A gift of $25.00 to the wedding coordinator would
be appropriate.
Gift to the Officiating Priest or Deacon
Not required, but appreciated. Amount of gift is at your discretion and can be made by check or cash.
Two (2) Weeks Prior to Your Wedding Please Remit to the Parish Secretary in the Parish Office:
Remaining balance of your church offering
Musicians fees
Gift for the Wedding Coordinator
Gift for the Altar Servers (Mass only)
Gift for the priest or deacon officiating
9THINGS TO BRING TO REHEARSAL
You are encouraged to bring these items to your rehearsal so not to have to be concerned
with them on your wedding day. Items marked *MUST be brought to the rehearsal.
• *Marriage license (obtained from the DuPage County Clerk Office).
• *Copies of Old and New Testament readings (enlarged for easy reading.)
• *Offerings, in envelopes appropriately marked Clergy, Parish Offering or Altar Server (if
applicable)
• Unity Candle (if applicable)
• Aisle runner (if applicable)
• Flower girl’s basket or ring bearer’s pillow (if applicable)
• Programs (if applicable)
• List of names of bridal party - in the order they will walk down the aisle.
10WEDDING PROGRAMS
The following examples may be helpful in assembling your wedding pro-
grams.
• Please note that there are differences between “Marriage During Mass”
and “Marriage Outside Mass.”
• The items in parenthesis involving the Unity Candle and Presentation of
Flowers to Mary are optional.
• If your wedding includes the coins, veil and cord (common in Filipino
and Hispanic cultures), the “Presentation of Coins” is just before the
Exchange of Rings. The “Placing of the Veil and Cord” takes place af-
ter the Presentation of the Gifts and “Removal of the Veil and Cord” is
just before the Lord’s Prayer.
11(DURING MASS)
Celebrating the Marriage of
Wilma Joan Whiterock
&
Frederick William Flintstone
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Prelude
Seating of the Parents (lighting of the side candles of the unity candle)
Processional Canon in D
Bridal Chorus
Opening Prayer
Liturgy of the Word
First Reading Genesis 1:26-28, 31a
Betty Rubble
Responsorial Psalm “Taste and See the
Goodness of the Lord”
Second Reading 1st Corinthians 12:31-13:8a
Joseph Slate
Gospel Acclamation Celtic Alleluia
Gospel Reading Mark 10:6-9
Rite of Marriage
Vows
Exchange of Rings
(Lighting of the Unity Candle) I Will Be There
Prayers of the Faithful Barney Rubble
Liturgy of the Eucharist
Presentation of the Gifts Pebbles Flintstone and
Bambam Rubble
The Lord’s Prayer
Nuptial Blessing
The Sign of Peace
Communion I Have Loved You
(Presentation of Flowers to Mary) Ave Maria-Schubert
Recessional Wedding March
The Wedding Party
(Here list those participating in the wedding)
12(CEREMONY OUTSIDE MASS)
Celebrating the Marriage of
Wilma Joan Whiterock
&
Frederick William Flintstone
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Prelude
Seating of the Parents (lighting of the side candles of the unity candle)
Processional Canon in D
Bridal Chorus
Opening Prayer
Liturgy of the Word
First Reading Genesis 1:26-28, 31a
Betty Rubble
Responsorial Psalm “Taste and See the
Goodness of the Lord”
Second Reading
1st Corinthians 12:31-13:8a Joseph Slate
Gospel Acclamation Celtic Alleluia
Gospel Reading Mark 10:6-9
Rite of Marriage
Vows
Exchange of Rings
(Lighting of the Unity Candle) I Will Be There
Prayers of the Faithful Barney Rubble
The Lord’s Prayer
Nuptial Blessing
(Presentation of Flowers to Mary) Ave Maria-Schubert
Recessional Wedding March
The Wedding Party
(Here list those participating in the wedding)
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