The Beavertown News April 2021 - MARLBOROUGH ULYSSES RESCUE RIDE - Ulysses Club of NZ Inc
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The
Beavertown
News
April 2021
MARLBOROUGH ULYSSES RESCUE RIDE.
SATURDAY 24TH APRIL. Raising Funds for the
NELSON/MARLBOROUGH RESCUE HELICOPTER.
Meet at Picton Marina Carpark off Waikawa Rd,
11-30am. Depart 12-00 mid-day & ride through to Blenheim, ending at
Brayshaw Park Carpark.
Bar-B-Que Sausages, onions & sauce with bread $2-00 each. Badges $10-00.
Open to all registered bikes, scooters & three wheelers.
All Proceeds to The Nelson/Marlborough Helicopter.
Organised by Marlborough Branch of Ulysses.
1
BRANCH COORDINATOR
Tim Wills Ph 579 2363
marlborough@ulysses.org.nz
SECRETARY
Melissa Wills Ph 579 2363
94 Howick Road, Blenheim 7201
marlborough.sec@ulysses.org.nz
TREASURER
Allan de Reeper Ph 579 1173
COMMITTEE MEMBERS
Jock Woodley Ph 573 9139
John Sinclair Ph 578 7110
Carol Spaulding Ph 021 872 443
Kelvin Watson Ph 577 6822
Neil Dixon Ph 0224676409
Andrew Noble Ph 578 2443
CLUB NIGHT ORGANISER
Kelvin Watson Ph 577 6822
WELFARE OFFICER
Chris Donaldson Ph 027 853 3670
donaldsons@gmail.com
RETREADS RIDERS (Thursday Rides)
John Sinclair Ph 578 7110
Grant Johnson Ph 578 0901
BRANCH SHERIFF
Jock Woodley Ph 573 9139
jockow@xtra.co.nz
BRANCH QUARTERMASTER
(Ulysses gear orders)
Evan Teale Ph 03 972 0481
COMMUNITY NOTICES COORDINATOR
Evan Teale Ph 03 972 0481
WEBMASTER
Bob Marks Ph 547 1177
marksie7@gmail.com
NEWSLETTER EDITOR
Louise Pearce Ph 027 448 9290
louisepearce008@gmail.com
2
Coordinator’s Word
Hi everyone
Welcome to April’s addition of the Marlborough Ulyssian
it seems like just the other day I did the last coordinators
word the months are flying by.
Just another reminder that on the weekend of the 9th – 11th April it is National Rally and
AGM at Lake Karapiro in Cambridge. For those of you that are going I hope you have a
great time and bring back some story’s’ to tell and maybe write something to add to the
newsletter.
For those of us that are not able to go, no worries as Kelvin has an awesome club night
planned for Saturday 10th April at the Yard Bar at 7pm. Come along it will save you hav-
ing to cook and do dishes, unless you forget your wallet then you’ll be doing dishes all
night. Please let Kelvin know if you are going.
Put in the diary the weekend of the 24th April for the Marlborough Ulysses Rescue Ride.
This year we are supporting the Nelson/Marlborough Rescue Helicopter. Please meet at
the Picton Marina carpark next to St Johns Ambulance and coastguard building from
11:30 departing at 12pm heading for Brayshaw park where there will be a BBQ and no
doubt plenty of laughter. Please support this by coming along and let all your mates
know. This is a great cause that hopefully we don’t have to call on but good to know
that they are there. Bring some gold coins for the BBQ and $10 for a Badge.
We are starting to plan for the Mid-Winter dinner to be held in June. Date and time to
follow. Keep your eyes and ears open as I hear our penny-pinching sheriff is on the
prowl looking for some fines to dish out or maybe you want to dob someone in. if so,
have a quiet word to Jock Woodley. It’s always a good night and a great turnout.
If you have anything to add to the next Marlborough Ulyssian can you please send it to
Louise by the 24th of the month. C’mon don’t be shy.
Well, that’s about it from me for now so get out there and be disgraceful. It gives us
something to talk and laugh about.
Cheers
Tim Wills #9600
3
Marlborough Ulysses Branch Committee Meeting
Meeting: 17th March 2021, A & P Park Portacom, Maxwell Road, Blenheim.
Meeting start: 7pm
Attendees: Tim Wills, Melissa Wills, Allan deReeper, Carol Spaulding, John Sinclair, Louise Pearce,
Andrew Noble, Neil Dixon, Jock Woodley, Kelvin Watson
Minutes of previous meeting: True & Accurate John/Jock
Matters arising: None
Inwards correspondence: Bereavement notice Margaret James-Kelvin, Feb Natcom minutes, Marl AGM minutes-Suzie Pen-
telow, Newsletters-Canterbury/Manawatu/Nelson/Nth Harbour/Tauranga. Tauranga branch not renewing post office box
emails to paulrobyn@xtra.co.nz and correspondence to
Tauranga.sec@ulysses.org.nz - Tony Doms, Deposit $85 John Warren? -Debbie Morgan, Ulysses Nat Rally reminder-Tim
Stewart, Invoice Dallies Dunnies $161-Kelvin, Mistake/Revised Membership
form-Tim Stewart, MMSS (Marl Multiple Sclerosis society 10th April Runway Café-Gaby Watson, Apex Trophies Order-Hope,
Nat Raffle update tickets-Wayne Painter
Outwards correspondence: AGM meeting minutes 2021 to Suzie Pentelow
Treasurers Report & Accounts for Payment: Allan discussed profit/loss for our bank account. Dallies Dunnies $161.00. Paul
& Muff Newton $1,100.00 Kaituna Back to basics meal. Apex Trophies $493, Blenheim School $50. $1804.00 in total to pay.
Allan moved that we pay accounts/Jock
Allan moved treasurers report be accepted/Jock
General Business:
AGM Date 2022: February 16th 7pm, Tim to book Redwood town hall closer to the time.
MMSS at the Runway café 10th April, Kelvin said we will be there just turn up.
Club night April: 10th Yard Bar 7pm.
Rescue Ride update: Badges ordered; Kelvin will contact the Sun newspaper to organize an article going in for this. Kelvin
has forwarded poster to the Patriots, Vintage people and the Motorbike shop, Jock will put on Facebook.
Mid-Year Dinner: John Sinclair will book the Clubs of Marlborough for the 26th June 5.30pm. Melissa will contact Debbie to
find out who is due a 10, 15…. year badge. Everyone to bring a grocery item for raffle. Tim moved that we subsidise the
meal by 50% each member/Allan
Tim would like Louise to update the details of our Coordinator etc. on our monthly magazine.
Tim said the cut off date to send articles to Louise for our magazine is the 24 th of each month. Kelvin will continue to distrib-
ute them.
Jock suggested Bruce Ramsey to do sign boards to advertise the Ulysses club, we need to think about the wording, some-
thing bold. Maybe Marlborough Ulysses Club, Andrew said Caring for our community. We will each think and bring our ide-
as back next meeting. Jock needs fines for mid-year dinner.
John said 11 riders are coming for Karamea, weather is going to be good.
John said 3rd October Bearings/brakes/BBQ’s. We will be asked to help cater for this. The Ride Forever Courses were well
attended, 12 riders. John said he heard good comments about our train club night.
Carol will be away for our next meeting.
Allan said we need to change signatory on our account. Allan moves that we bring on Tim Wills as a signatory for our bank
account and remove Kelvin Watson as he has been replaced as Coordinator by Tim/Jock
John said our Club trailer needs to be registered, it is registered under John Sinclair but it belongs to the Marlborough Ulys-
ses Club. John has donated payment for the Registration.
Louise is resigning from the Committee as she is moving to Hamner Springs, she will still do our
monthly newsletter. We are very grateful to Louise for continuing on with doing our magazine
Meeting Closed: 7.45pm
Next Meeting will be at 7-00pm on 21st April.
4
Retreads to Whites Bay, 4th March
As predicted by JG the weather was overcast but
fine. We met as usual at Burleigh at 11.00am with
our picnic lunches and beverages. I looked desper-
ately for Murray Brooks to help me with all the
names but he was not to be seen. I was pleased to
have the support of Bob Moss, Andrew Nobel
(who lead the motley crew), Terry Moloney, Pete
Beckett, Kelvin Watson, who can now stand to his full
height as the weight of responsibility is off his shoulders! He
was very helpful with the names of people and also offered
to be the "sweeper". Neil on the big Triumph was ready to
tackle the Port Underwood metal along with Paulette and
Malcolm on their Yamaha. Garry Tyson, Bruce Morton, Evan Teale, John Rodger, John Hadfield, Malcolm V4 Honour,
Chris Devlin, Wally Allen, Allan Graham, Graham Howarth (another promising Port Underwood likely), Arend Wasink, Peter
Nelson, and trickling in at the last minute who else but Bob McCrindle.
It was a team effort to negotiate what course we would take out of Benheim. I omitted the stop just out of Blenheim, by
mistake ,but was saved by the usually frustrating road works! The forced stop allowed us to get back together. I had been
promised by Andrew Nobel that if he was not riding with JG he would be the very best lead rider and keep velocity to the
recommended limits. He was as good as his word and did a fine job. The road surface was excellent with no gravel or wet
patches so we all arrived at Whites Bay to see Murray Brooks and Lindsay Learmonth by their bikes. Great to see Lindsay
riding again after a fair while . I opened the Surf Club rooms and we put the chairs out on the deck. It was warm, sunny
but we were pleasantly shaded and ate our food in fine company. It was Arend's first time over to Whites Bay and it was a
treat for his Birthday! He had brought sweets for all and they went down very well with tea (and whatever Hadfield has in
his thermos). Murray wisely suggested we got a photo of all on the deck, which I hope we can show you.
After tidying and shutting up everyone put in a bit of a Koha as we never know when we might need saving at the
beach! 56 Dollars is pretty good ! Then the plan was Graham, Neil, Paulette and myself to ride the Port Underwood Road,
and several others would go back out on the tarmac and meet us in Picton for coffee and cake. This was the type of road
made for Graham and the Enfield Himalaya. Great fun to watch them in action until he cleared out.
We all made it to Picton and heard how bad the
new seal was between Picton and Blenheim.
Several of the riders were going back to Blen-
heim via Havelock to avoid it. I risked it and
think in retrospect they just wanted a longer
ride on a
beaut day.
Cheers Sawbones #4004
5
K J Morgan Plumbing Ltd
11 Purkiss Street, P O Box 925, Blenheim 7240
t: 03 578 0060 f: 03 578 0994
www.morganplumbing.co.nz
6
Retreads to The Trout Hotel, 11th March
Today we awaken to a dark sky and a strong southerly but we’re betting the day is going to improve and even be sunny at our
destination. We’re off to The Trout and the 23 strong Mob includes Neil Dixon, Kelvin Watson. Dave Jackson, Terry and Brad
Molony, Evan (ice cream) Teale, Joan Robinson, Pete Beckett, John (Tonto) Hadfield, Chris Devlan, Wally Allan, Arend Wansink,
John Rodger, Derrick Stripling, Bob McCrindle and me. Then en route we catch up with Graeme Howarth and at the venue,
Louise and Allan, Lindsay Learmonth, Murray Brooks and Pete Nelson who has escaped the Tirimoana batch for the duration.
“What a motley lot,” reflects Tonto. “My mother would turn in her grave if she realised I was keeping company with this lot.”
If you do hear from her John, get her to give us a call. There’s one or two things we’d like to discuss with her too……..
The ride out starts off just fine then we come to the Foxes Island roundabout. And we wait. And we wait. And we wait. Three
lots of South bound traffic come through before our light turns green. My estimate is about 7-9 minutes on hold. We were
mostly near the front of the queue so we decided to give the catchup at Wairau Bridge a miss. Had we not done this we would
have been at the other end of the procession which by now probably reaches Renwick. With the two cars in front despatched,
we have an enjoyable ride on a clear road all the way to Canvastown.
At The Trout we are greeted at the door by Louise at full salute. But get this; her hair has turned BLUE! I am dumbfounded to
the extent I never think to get a photo. She also announces she has sold her home and has bought another with a bit of dirt at
Hanmer. There’s no knowing eh.
Then we join the ordering queue and guess what? The publican forgets we are coming today and his wife has departed for a
shopping trip to Blenheim. He curses. He takes the orders alone and this takes a lot longer than the wait at Foxes Island. A lot
longer. Eventually, the meals start arriving. Some sit indoors but the majority are outdoors where the sun is shining – but then
we all sit in the shade don’t we!! I tell you #@&** ……… WTF.
Devotions today are led by Evan Teale and a great repertoire he recites too - his voice strengthened by the steak, two
sausages, two eggs, chips etc he demolishes - and not a green in sight. Then JG has a go and shares a couple too. Perhaps it’s
the food but there is little appetite to venture to St Arnaud, Havelock or Picton for more. But I’m betting that Guts Evan would
have found room for a Havelock Real Fruit ice cream on the way past? The thought of that plate of grease mixing with an
ice cream as he bounces home over the bumps makes interesting reflections. I think the protests from his stomach would be
long and loud were it not for the sound being overwhelmed by his Honda.
Come and join us if you want a laugh.
JG # 9272
7
Burt Munro Challenge 2021
Neil Dixon
At the invitation of three mates from Wellington I tagged on their trip to this year’s Burt. We met at The Store Kekerengu for
breakfast on Sunday 7th February with a view to take three days to arrive in Invercargill. The guys were Mike on a heavily
modified 2012 Bonneville Black complete with Suzuki Bandit forks and twin disc set up and tuned rear shocks. This bike may
be down on power but is a force to be reckoned with in the twisties albeit bearing a very capable pilot. Marty on a Triumph
Tiger Sport and Lew on his not quite quick enough Yamaha FJR 1300. Pilot issues were tendered as an excuse. We rode south
to Amberley to pick up the inland scenic route 72 to Rangiora and onwards over the Waimakariri river and join 77 to cross the
Rakaia river. A spirited run sees us greeting a police car at the junction where we need to turn left for Methven just as we
have selected decel from our ride mode menu.
We had a great night staying at the pub, enjoying hearty meals and engaging with the locals in their weekly quiz and coming
a credible second out of eight teams.
Next day sees us heading for Alexandra via a Pie stop in Fairlie at the Fairlie Bakehouse. I can recommend the Steak Cheese
and Mushroom. We wound our way through Mackenzie country after our pie stop and had lunch in Twizel. As we set off from
Twizel I was separated from the group because of traffic and was very conscious of not playing catch-up as this would
probably result in a donation to the Police Ball. This reminds me of a story about a guy who was pulled for speeding and the
perp commented to the officer about making such a donation to the Police Ball, to which the officer replied “ Sir the Police
don’t have balls……”
So In my quest to remain legal I was stuck behind a motor home which was in turn stuck behind a car towing a Caravan.
Remembering back to my Ride Forever training I held off at a safe distance and occasionally moved into “5” to show my
headlights to make the Motor home driver aware I was behind him. I waited until there was a good gap, moved up closer,
mirror, signal, over shoulder check and go…….. No. Mr Motorhome decided he was going too. So… brake and move back in
until I could see again. I eventually passed and arrived into Omarama expecting the guys to be waiting. No. So I thought oh
well it’s a solo ride through the Lindis pass which turned out to be thoroughly enjoyable. On approach to Lindis crossing I
checked my mirrors and found a group of once lost bikers catching up with me. Yes they had taken a left turn in Omarama,
gone down the road a few kms before realising they were wrong.
A good nights rest and Dinner at the Centennial Motel in Alexandra saw us heading off the next morning in rain. So much rain
in fact that my Tiger 12 reminded me on a few occasions of the very capable traction control assisting our desire for progress
through bare seal. Lunch stop at Illeys café in Tapanui and staff were mopping the floor and displaying a wet floor sign on our
entry. Ten minutes after the mop up another group of 12 motorcyclists turned up and quickly undid the good work, out came
the mop again!
So the arrival in Invercargill came without incident and we quickly found our house for the duration. Various methods of
drying gear were employed varying from max performance settings on the Heat pump to drying gloves in the oven.
Wednesday saw us venturing out for a walk to the Truck museum just up the road from our digs. Just as we arrived outside
I saw a familiar bike pull up. It was our very own Andy Noble and his mates! Quick greetings were exchanged before we
headed our own ways. We visited both the Truck and Bike museums and thoroughly enjoyed them. My favourite of the day
was the modern Brough Superior on display in the Bike museum. Trick parts on this bike included engine cases, handlebar
clamps and wheels all machined from billet aluminium.
Thursday arrived and we were keen to get to Bluff for the Hill climb but the weather was not very good, so a quick online
check told us the Hill climb was cancelled due to high winds of around 120k. Oh well we could look forward to the “Harley
Davidson Twilight Drag Racing” that evening. Why we’d want to watch guys dressed as ladies riding irrigation pumps designed
in the early 1900’s was beyond me. So we opted to go to the Cinema to watch a Liam Neeson I’ll find you and kill you type of
film instead.
8
On Friday I took a side trip to see a friend of mine Andrew Howden who has a Dairy Farm in Seaward downs about 25 kms
from Invercargill. On the way there I saw
Andy Noble again travelling into town and
we exchanged waves. Andrew farms on 212
acres and milks 150 cows twice daily. He was
also involved in the Croydon Aircraft compa-
ny at Mandeville airfield. We took a drive up
there to see the workshops and the Muse-
um. Andrew also co owns Tiger Moth ZK-BFH
which is used for pleasure flights there. I
have an interest in Aviation and was sched-
uled to fly BFH with the museum pilot but he
was racing at Teretonga the next day and the
aircraft had suffered a ladder penetration to
the upper wing canvas. I’ve been promised a
flight the next time I’m down there.
I got back into town with just enough time to
meet up with the guys and ride out to Oreti
beach for the races. There was all kinds of machines racing there ripping up the sand and it felt a little surreal for me being a
first timer at the Burt to imagine the man himself doing the same.
The Sprint races at Teretonga
on Saturday were very good.
The good weather had
returned and we saw some
awesome racing through all
classes. There was a 750
Guzzi in the classic races
doing very well and won
outright. The Superbike races
were very entertaining and
we watched a Ducati 1099
going head to head with an
Aprilia RSV4 over several
laps. Exciting stuff! I had to
laugh when I saw one of the
Sidecar teams forming up on
the dummy grid. Their team
name emblazoned on their
leathers was Far Canal
Racing. I had to rack my
brains to think where that
was? Oh well maybe it’s one
of the canals in the Hydro
electric system.
Part 1.
You will have to wait patiently for Part 2 next month. Good story Neil.
Ed.
9
April
Birthdays
Michael Brasch
Jeff Champion
Robert Graham
Derek Harding
William Jellyman
John Laing
Peter Pinion
Susy Pouwhare
Brian Tuffey
Arie Verhey
Ian Wiffen
Philip Robertson
MARLBOROUGH ULYSSES CLUB NIGHT.
Saturday 10th April, 7pm onwards.
The Yard Bar Maxwell Road for Drinks, Meals & Laughter. Bring your wives, partners or a friend and join
us for a great night out. It will save you cooking that night. So throw away your cook books.
RSVP to Kelvin by 8th April: Mob. 027 300 1309
Hm. (03) 577 6822
1016 Auckland Street,
BLENHEIM
(03) 577 7783
Membership
I decided this year to attend the AGM as an observer to see how the local Branch was moving on. I accept that the pandem-
ic has caused a lot of disruption over the last year but we are at Level 1 so was very disappointed at the low attendance at
the 2021 AGM held at Redwoodtown Hall on Thursday 18th March. Information that this was to be held on this date was
published in all forms of media so communication was no excuse for members to say they didn't know it was on. Any Club
has dissenters who are always the first to complain if their wishes are not met yet they can't or won't attend an AGM where
they can voice these views, ideas or concerns. I accept that some club members are still working and others have other
commitments but quite frankly of the membership at 128 financial I find 17 attendees at this years AGM appalling.
I have been associated with the Club for over 34 years through Ken (Member No #744) and myself (Member No # 918) .
I cancelled my membership as the National committee was struggling for funds and were sending out two newsletters to
the same address, so I became an associate under Kens umbrella. I have stayed within the social network of the Club as for
me it is a family friendly, helpful environment. I will always offer my time to any event that needs assistance & thank you all
for your friendship. I am going to single out one person to personally thank for keeping the newsletter read worthy. That is
JG and you all know who that is as he is the only one who regularly sends in articles for the newsletter. This is the only way
some members can keep up with what is happening within your Club so it would be great to read of others exploits. I don't
necessarily mean bike excursions either, some members get to go out of town for work or just a casual ride on a day off or
even trips within our own country. So I look forward to reading these articles and also it will make the editors job a lot easi-
er to collate a newsletter for us all to read whilst having our morning cuppa. My last request is for all members to please
have input to the running of a successful branch because if you don't it will have to dissolve and I am sure no one wants that
to happen.
Regards to everyone and ride safe so we see you at next years AGM in greater numbers.
Wendy Anderson
11Retreads to Queen Charlotte Tavern, 18th March
It’s a southerly day and quite cool so we’re heading out to the Queen Charlotte Tavern for our lunch,
hopefully the sun, and nonsense. The 21 who are braving the cold are Neil Dixon, Bruce Morton, Andy
Noble, Kelvin Watson, Gary Tyson, Derrick Stripling, John Rodger, John (Tonto) Hadfield, Pete Beckett,
Wally Allen, Pete Nelson, Terry Molony, Don Best, Allan Beck, Louise Pearce, Allan Graham, Chris Don-
aldson, Ali Windleburn (great to see you back Ali) Arend Wansink, Bob Moss (waiting at the Bridge be-
cause he had to fit a new chain first) and me.
At Brayshaw Park we are pleasantly surprised to get a visit from Joan Robinson who is off on her bike
to CHCH today. We were hoping we could ride together to Ward but we decided to leave the cold
southerly to her. We’re going to miss Joan. She has contributed in many ways to making our club as
good as it is. Her upbeat personality is going to be missed.
The ride out is routine until, just as we enter the Okaramio Valley, a cockroach walks up the inside of
my visor! A bee doing this looks the size of a Morris Minor but I can assure you a big black cockroach
looks as big as a Fonterra Tanker! This is damn distracting and all I want to do is stop and get it out of
my helmet. The trouble is, if I stop, most of the Mob might stop too and I can just imagine what a mess
a TNL truck might make rounding a bend and finding the road littered with bikes, blokes and blokesses.
I flip the front of the helmet up and carry on with water streaming from both eyes. I hate cockroaches
but reflect that they don’t bite – so I named this one Cyril and talked to him all the way to Linkwater -
where he couldn’t be found in my helmet. Hmmm.
Louise is riding Carol Spaulding’s XT250 today and is really enjoying it. Watch out Carol, your
generosity is looking like being repaid with theft!
We eat indoors today in front of a thoughtfully provided open fire. Lunch is superb and by the time we
are finished, the sun is out so we have devotions outside. This is led by Pete N. JG, Don Best, Ali and
John Rodger. There is hilarious laughter.
All have been asked to bring a joke to tell today. Some do, some don’t. Tonto Hadfield is excused as he
is riding his joke!
We split to Havelock for ice creams and Picton for more coffee and some cake. We have 12 at Picton.
It’s a great ride around QC Drive today. Afterwards, we negotiate all the new sealing at Spring Creek.
We make our way home exhausted by the continual banter and abuse.
Don’t you just LOVE
Thursdays?
JG # 9272
12Ulysses trip to Karamea
What a motly crew we were as we gathered at Brayshaw Park on a chilly Saturday morning, March 20. Just about every style
of motorcycle was represented: Stu Wyness on a Ducati, JG on his Vstrom, Bob Moss on a F650GS, John (Hiawatha) on his Indi-
an, Neil and Jill Dixon on their Triumph Tiger, Chris and Susanne Donaldson on their Yamaha XJR and Kevin and Julia Watson
on their Can-am Spyder. Luggage options varied from slick British boxes to rope-tied-on-the-mudguard Indigenous.
JG led the pack, setting a cracking pace with Kelvin and Julia being tail end Charlie, while Chris couldn’t figure out why his bike
wouldn’t start. Panic was starting to set in before he flipped off the kill switch – duh.
First stop was at the St Arnaud loos for a leg stretch etc. then Murchison came up fast for lunch at 11.30. Obviously some
members hadn’t had breakfast, ordering big ones at River Cafe. Bob’s breaky spread was so massive it came on a special
oversize plate! But that wasn’t the end of the matter; when we stopped at Mokihinui for afternoon tea he inquired if they
had all day breakfasts! He had to make do with a cup of coffee that looked and tasted like cold dishwater.
Well deserved dessert for John Susanne on the Heaphy track
The ride into Karamea involved a wicked, windy mountain road with exciting little piles of shingle and horrible potholes just
where you don’t expect them. This was as much a challenge for the pillions as the riders. When we arrived at the Karamea
Village Hotel, which is great by the way, Jill needed a lie down to recover from sea sickness!
JG had done an admirable job of setting up this trip for us all and he also put his hand up to be van driver and guide for our
next day excursion into the Oparara Basin, Kahurangi National Park. It was a wise decision not to go in on the bikes. It was
16kms of corrugated, rutted, practically one way death trap track for all bar JG who maintains he has the rare gift of discerning
when a vehicle is about to appear coming the opposite way. Just as well. Many a white knuckled driver passed us, including
two wanna be Ewan McGregors on shiny GS1200s and a young man who was terrified to keep to his side. JG asked him,
window to window, when he’d be going back to Auckland!
13Once there, we enjoyed a beautiful stroll through unspoilt rainforest, along a clear, tannin-stained river, observed a massive
overhead limestone arch, and explored huge limestone caves where prehistoric bones, including moa, have been discovered.
It was then back in the rental rattletrap van for a 30 minute drive to the end of the road north, and the jump off point of the
Heaphy Track.
After a delicious cut lunch produced by our hotel kitchen, we decided to walk off our lunch by heading up the track. We should
have waited for an hour, but…..the day was sunny, the sand was white, the sea blue and the nikau grove beckoned us and was
frankly quite magical, with sunlight filtering through the fronds onto the path below. We crossed a swing bridge where Chris
played the giddy goat by jumping up and down and scaring the crap out of those in front. We hiked for 20 minutes up a steep
hill to a look out. Thanks VERY MUCH Mr fitness freak Stu. Warning: don’t over exert yourself for at least an hour after eating
a heavy lunch! However, the view of the northern coastline was magic and well worth the effort.
Kelvin, John, Neil, Jill, Julia, Stu, JG, Susanne, Bob, Chris behind the camera.
We returned to Karamea for pre dinner drinks in the Sports Bar and watched the Crusaders thrash the Blues and enjoyed
another evening of good food, great company and a lot of laughs, thanks especially to Hiawatha.
After a comfortable night and good sleep, we hit the highway home at 8.35am. Susanne insisted on a coffee stop at Westport.
Chris insisted on a bike lineup photo shoot, and then away we went, except Haiawatha left his headband/designer cap, on top
of his luggage which was tied on his mudguard and proceeded for a good 80kms before it flew off into the path of the following
rider, who picked it up.
14Neil presented the lost headband after Hiawatha wept profusely over the loss of his precious headgear and the shame of
exposing his combover. With headgear in place once more, his sense of observation focused on a worksafe car over the road
and a young painter being harranged by the female officer for not using a harness. John H marched over, informed the officer
he and his friends were all lawyers and that he didn’t think the painter had done anything wrong. The officer told him to piss
off, which he wisely did.
The rest of the trip back was pretty uneventful. We had a cuppa at the Runway Café, then that was it. It was a great weekend
and we felt these sort of excursions should be regular occurrences. Where to next time?
Finally, a big shout out to JG for a well organised, well led excursion. Also to Diana, the proprietor for the last 38 years of the
historic Karamea Village Hotel who is super friendly and runs a very tidy establishment. Not to forget the chef at the
Murchison River Café for commendable all-day breakfasts and delicious sheep shank pies topped with mashed potato and
carrot.
Chris Donaldson # 8972
Retreads to Jolly Roger 25th March
Today we’re off to the Jolly Roger because it might be sunny
there. In Blenheim we awaken to low cloud which turns to quite
heavy drizzle for a while as we wait at Brayshaw Park. By
departure time though, the drizzle has stopped and blue sky is
sighted to the south.
The 19 strong Mob includes Neil Dixon, Kelvin Watson, Andy
Noble, Joan Robinson, Pete Nelson, John Rodger, Graeme
Howarth, Ali Windleburn, Dennis Church, Grant Johnson,
Don Best, Pete Beckett, Bob Moss, Lindsay Learmonth, Murray
Brooks, Dave Jackson, Allen and Sue Beck, and me.
On the ride out we are being particularly careful not to slip on the wet road which you know for sure is wet mud
on the surface, given it hasn’t rained here for weeks. The rain stays away and we stay dry. Some come by tintop.
The orders arrive quickly and we devour these sitting outside in the sun. Yay! In fact, it gets disgustingly hot until a
fresh breeze arrives to make life more comfortable. Grant and Bob both restrain themselves to chowders only,
which arrive inside a baked bun. Neil and Pete Beckett had the biggest meals by far, at least at our table. The fare?
Bangers and Mash. Devotions take place and we laugh at the yarns by Ali, Pete Nelson, Andy, Alan and Grant.
Nearby punters lean in to share the humour. We continue to sit and enjoy the sun for another half hour or so.
Nobody is in a hurry to leave. When we do split, five of us go for a spirited ride to Havelock where we indulge ice
creams. And get this; the proprietor of the café is closing at 3.00 and offers us pies for free. His offer is accepted by
none other than Sawbones who quickly stows his windfall on his bike and disappears homeward.
Another great day. JG # 9272
15Marlborough Ulysses March Club Night.
Fifteen of our members had a great night at The Woody on Saturday the 13 th March. We were in
the main bar unfortunately where it was very noisy --- rugby games going on some TV screens & horse
racing on others, didn’t make for easy conversation
Some of our members who had not been to The Woody for a meal previously wanted to know what
they were like- bar meals don’t vary a lot from place to place, but the ones at the Woody are usually
good, and generous portions there too. When Phil’s meal arrived, he said “I should have ordered a
half size meal”. I was sitting beside him I could see he looked to be enjoying it, but I think some of it
might have made its way home wrapped in a serviette---steak for breakfast Phil?
Julia ordered beef schnitzel, when it arrived (and it was the last one to be delivered) it covered her
whole plate! I ended up with half of that as she couldn’t eat it all, anyway I don’t think anyone had
any complaints about the meals they chose -well I didn’t hear any, but I didn’t have my aids in so who
knows!
As usual it wasn’t a late night and it was good to welcome some people that we hadn’t seen at club
night dinner for a while/before, those present were Don B, Darrell and Gisela, Tom B, Stu and Nadine,
Neil and Gill, Phil and Julia, Joan R, Kelvin and Julia, Christine and John There was lots of laughter
& most people enjoyed a drink or two before going home.
Apologies for no pictures-I forgot
Kelvin Watson #3602.
The newlyweds were only married two weeks, when the husband said to the wife, "Honey I'm going
to Hank's Tavern to have a beer, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. 'I'm going to have a beer.'
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed
him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India .
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes,
Lollipop... But at the bar... You know...they have frozen glasses.."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen
glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills
just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those
hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different
hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.
"But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know . There's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?...
LISTEN UP, YOU CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR SORRY ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN
BEER IN YOUR FROZEN ASS MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOU'RE MARRIED AND
YOUR SORRY ASS AIN'T GOING TO NO DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"
And... they lived happily ever after.
Isn't that a sweet story?
16What would I have done without Julian?
From the Editor,
As you know, I’m moving to Hanmer Springs. Moving is always a mission, and this has been more
than a mission than all previous moves. 270km from here to Hanmer.
Several van and trailer loads of the accumulated junk we all call useful items or equipment delivered.
The shit hit the fan. Broken spring at Waiau. We loaded that trailer onto another with the help of two
burly farmers. We arrived back in Blenheim to find that the trailer springs were no longer available.
Julian to the rescue (PICTON TOOL and TYRE), obtaining new springs and hangers which were profes-
sionally fitted, then off to Hanmer again with another successful load. The return journey was going so
smoothly, with very few cars on the road. BANG! A bloody blowout on the trailer with no load.
Bugger! 5pm Saturday, just north of Kaikoura, and no spare. What now? Phone Julian (PICTON TOOL
and TYRE). Where are you? He asks. An hour and a half from Picton. Julian says come on up and
phone me when you get to the workshop. 6.30pm. Phone, and 10 minutes later there is a roar of a 6
litre Holden V8 ute arriving and within 15 minutes a new tyre is fitted and I’m on the way back to the
trailer.
Julian: Great service and very happy to go the extra mile after hours and on the weekend.
Members—support this advertiser.
Louise #6855
1742nd Annual Pukekohe Classic
First race report 2021.
Hi again everyone, after a short but busy break since our last meeting in 2020, through the festive season, and
into 2021 ready to face the new challenges with the world seemingly becoming even more in disarray. Hopefully
common sense and good guidance will prevail.
So, a warm welcome to OUR 2021 to you all and I must say how grateful we are for your support and
encouragement doing what we are doing. We are so lucky to have you in our Team!
Cath, Lester and I packed everything into the trailer and set of for the 42nd Annual Pukekohe Classic. We headed
North early in order to have a practice run on the Friday open practice day put on by the Pukekohe Circuit as
a great build up to the week-ends racing.
We were determined to give the Conti tyres a good hearing, we also had a borrowed set of ‘Swarbrick Racing”
exhausts to try to see if the mid-range ‘doughy’ bit was still happening in the acceleration out of corners part
of the power curve….
We had three runs on the practice day adjusting and re-setting suspension and tyre pressures etc. We did
however have a major exhaust pipe crack so luckily had our original Ferdinand pipes to fit back on.
Now remembering that this track is by far the roughest track I have raced on……we had our challenges but by the
time we got to the end of the day we were feeling OK enough to feel ready for qualifying on Saturday morning.
Believe me we had long discussions about what to do, I thought I was having such a hard time with the
roughness that it was me, not so much the circuit. So I was delighted (yep, delighted) when so many others said
the track was even rougher than last year.
Qualifying was a bit of a disaster in that I was just getting into it and doing a fast flying lap when the Qualifying
was red-flagged. Damn I said but was astounded that I had still qualified first in class and second on the grid with
the pre1995 Formula 3 bikes. AWESOME! We were now feeling like we were setting everything up as good as it
could be. What a boost for our confidence. Suspension was working well, Conti tyres were doing a great job and
I was feeling ready to attack.
Lester regularly looks down the intake throat and up the exhaust port at the amazing Meteor Pistons and the
cylinder walls and is always smiling as the NZ Cylinders plating job has been excellent and looks after the pistons
well.
So the racing began and I had a real scrap with Doc Martin on a very fast Moriwaki Kawasaki 600, managing to
just beat him to the line. A good start for the weekend, we continued the trend and picked up two more first in
class placings on Sunday morning.
We came to the last race for the meeting and I managed to hole-shot the start and was still in the lead a good
deal in front of the whole field when the right hand exhaust pipe split into two. It just couldn’t quite go the
distance. So a DNF for the last race. Considering that Lester built those pipes about 15 years ago and they have
been on numerous bikes, they have done wonders.
However I still managed to walk away from the meeting with the 3rd place plaque for the class, and therefore
sitting in 3rd place in the NZCMRR championship 2021.
This meeting attracted over 270 riders and close to 350 bikes! What an atmosphere. Made better for us that we
had so many family and close friends there supporting us. Especially good that Matt, Sophie and Isabella from
our Blank Canvas Wines family were there for the first time to see me race, and they have been supporting us
for some years now. They came away rapt with how we do our business
18We stayed with family while in Auckland, Ollie
and Kate fed us well and we had no pressure
on us outside of the race meeting. Jack and
Sue who sponsored us our race trailer were
there also. Fantastic!
So now we have to attend to a bit of
maintenance and get the bike ready for the
next meeting which will be at the Bruce
McLaren motorsport Park in Taupo, middle
of March. We will be really looking forward
to that. The circuit is smooth and fast.
The Conti tyres will get another outing……
Thanks to Julian at Picton Tools and Tyres.
Best regards to you all
The250Guy, Cath and Lester.
19The 2021 Dusty Butt 1400km ride on the Enfield.
Graeme Howarth #9436
Leaving home in the rain. You can see how clean we are. You can’t possibly see how naïve I was.
Intro
Andrew, AKA The Viking, is the father of my daughter’s husband. He’s a 7 foot tall bearded red head hill country
farmer and all energy & enthusiasm but not much riding experience. Andrew bought his KLR650 and was keen to
use it to free him from his workaholic tendencies. He’s fit as a buck rat with 5XL size hands and proved to be a
very handy chap when my bike needed pulling off rocks or out of mud. He had friends who did the Dusty Butt
(DB) last year and were doing it again and we were joining up with them. They’d have GPS’s & experience so we
just had to tag along. Sounds good eh? They were too late to register so we were on our own.
Like everyone I have some health issues: a shortened left leg and a seized ankle from back in ’81 crunching a
GS1000 into a rock wall. This means I had to lift my whole leg to change gear. I’ve been suffering from Chronic
Fatigue Syndrome for over 2 years. If I don’t get enough sleep I get dizzy & can’t think and I get days when I am
exhausted for no apparent reason. So I was wondering if I should accept The Viking’s invitation to the event, but
I’d just turned 60, which required some sort of commemoration. If I didn’t do it now then I knew there’s no
guarantee that I’ll be better (or even alive) next year eh? Another year older and more tired. Now’s the time!
I had spent a couple of seasons learning to race a 250 Ninja and had owned MT-01. Both of these things I loved
but had to surrender to the illness. I had done no dirt riding in over 40 years. That's the setup. What could
possibly go wrong?
In the Beginning
Before the Riders Briefing I met up with an old high school friend Maurice. He helpfully recommended tyre
pressures of 23PSI (really good – at the end you could see where my front tyre had been pushed up about 1/3
the way up the side of the rim in many spots but no flatties). Maurice had done the Dusty Butt 3 or4 times
before, once with his ex-wife on back. He didn’t think it was too bad. The Challenge sections OK he said, just
keep it rolling.
20The Bike
A 2017 Royal Enfield Himalayan acquired mid 2020 with 8400kms on it. I jacked up rear shock and dropped the yokes 10mm
in an effort to get more weight on the front wheel to make it stick better on gravel (having no experience, such was my
reasoning). I fitted a one tooth smaller (14T) sprocket.
The following modifications I found to be absolutely indispensable:
Soft hand grips, good Knobbies and a 15mm mudguard risers to accommodate the front knobby;
I also got an engineer to weld a folding tip on the gear lever;
I bought a Happy Trails bash plate from America. You really need something like this.
But let’s look at what the organisers say about the event shall we?:~
"The DB1.4K event consists of approximately 1400km of sealed, gravel road & off road route. It will take
you on a journey through remote sections of the South Island offering absolutely spectacular scenery,
however it is important to keep in mind this is no dawdle in the park, nor even a typical trail or road
ride. Riders must endure a 1400km route that is physically & mentally draining and will require between
10 & 14 hours of riding a day depending on your riding skill & the amount of stops you have. …
The route encountered will include terrain that will challenge your bike control skills over extended
rough, steep, rutted or rocky tracks, deep bogs and multiple stream & river crossings. These sections will
also challenge your fortitude as you navigate tracks sidling past very high steep slopes & bluffs. Much
of the route is at sub-alpine to alpine altitudes (up to 1700m). While this ride is during the dry season,
rain, wind and cold should be expected. All riders must therefore be prepared for high altitude severe
weather conditions and carry appropriate warm & waterproof gear. This is especially important as on
many parts of the route should a motorbike break down the distance to shelter could be many hours
away. Be prepared for snow, even in February! … general hazards include but are not limited to:
road & farm vehicles, dogs, stock & other wildlife (including unpredictable Wallabies), gates, poor
condition cattle stops, road washouts, sharp bends and blind crests. In general approach all hazards
with caution! No road closures are in place and no official bike recovery service."
21Additionally, during the briefing the organiser said he would be ignoring all phone calls for help – and he was
serious. He couldn’t fix a faulty card pump or move a tree off the track. And if you got injured “ring 111”. We
only had ourselves and each other to depend on. There was also a warning about the Awakino Challenge section
on the last day. The Cocky says it’s impassable and other riders say you’ll need ropes to lower bikes down at the
end where the river washed its bank away. If you’re not a confident & experienced rider you might like to recon-
sider going this way, the man gently suggested.
“What was that you were saying Maurice?” Turns out Maurice was from another planet and had ridden Enduros
for years - an absolute gun rider on his KTM790. So his word for “manageable” translated directly to my word for
“impossible”.
After this I am not exactly brimming with enthusiasm.
On the Briefing night we met another new guy, Mark, on his DRZ400 and we decided to travel together. That
should help, the more the safer. Mark pointed out that one of the other riders was international Enduro star
Chris Birch (google this man!) so we were in some extraordinary company.
Some random internet guys from an earlier year – they seem to be having quite a bit more trouble with this hill than
the Himalayan did! Honestly, it was slow but I hardly ever put a foot down.
Part 1. Watch this space next month.
One of the British national daily newspapers asked its readers:
“What does it mean to be British?”
This one from a Swiss was the winner.
“Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer.”
“Then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way,
to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.”
He buys a holiday in Spain, skiis in France, fancies Swedish birds and has a
Romanian au-pair.”
And the most British thing of all?
“He is suspicious of anything foreign!
22Every Saturday morning 10:00 is coffee morning at Runway Café.
Note DOD = Decide on the day
Thursday rides depart Brayshaw Park.
Sunday rides depart Railway Station Carpark.
All rides are weather dependant
Thurs 1st Apr. 11am. Retreads Group.
Sun 4th Apr. 1pm. Social Ride, Rai Valley.
Thurs 8th Apr. 11am. Retreads Group.
Sat 10th Apr. Club Night Yard Bar. Kelvin.
Sun 11th Apr. 11am. Nelson for lunch.
Thurs 15th Apr. 11am. Retreads Group.
Sun 18th Apr. 1pm Social Ride, Kekerangu.
Wed 21st Apr. 7pm Committee Meeting. Tim.
Thurs 22nd Apr. 11am. Retreads Group.
Sun 25th Apr. 11am Pelorus Bridge for Lunch.
Thurs 29th Apr. 11am. Retreads Group.
Sun 2nd May. 1pm. Social Ride, Queen Charlotte Tavern. Linkwater.
9-11 April 2021; National Rally & AGM, Waikato Branch at Lake Karapiro. Further info in
your next Ulyssian magazine. Book you accommodation in Cambridge now.
Sat 24th April Rescue Ride (To raise funds for Nelson/Marlborough Rescue helicopter.)
03 October Bearings Brakes and BBQ
See the newsletter for more information.
JG # 9272 Communications Assistant 027 3142151
Right at the end of a Radio programme recently, there was a discussion about the obscene cost of
entry into Premiership football games, the cheapest price of £60 and £100 per game is not uncommon.
An older chap being interviewed said he could recall many years ago arriving at the West Ham
turnstiles, "That will be ten quid, mate".
What?!" the old chap said, "I could get a woman for that !”
The guy on the turnstile retorted,
"Not for 45 minutes each way, with a brass band and a meat pie in the interval, you wouldn't !"
23At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word
"service."
"It's the act of doing things for other people."
Then I heard these terms which reference the word service:
Internal Revenue Service
Postal Service
Telephone Service
Civil Service
City and County Public Service
Customer Service
Service Stations
Then I became confused about the word" service."
This is not what I thought "service" meant.
So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a
bull to "service" a few of his cows.
BAM! It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service"
agencies are doing to us.
24You can also read
