Windscript The Magazine of High School Writing Volume 37, 2021 - Windscript VOL.37 2021 1 - Saskatchewan Writers' Guild

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Windscript The Magazine of High School Writing Volume 37, 2021 - Windscript VOL.37 2021 1 - Saskatchewan Writers' Guild
windscript
The Magazine of High School Writing   Volume 37, 2021

                                                        Windscript VOL. 37 2021   1
Windscript The Magazine of High School Writing Volume 37, 2021 - Windscript VOL.37 2021 1 - Saskatchewan Writers' Guild
windscript
                                                                             Volume 37, 2021
                                                                            ISSN: 0822-2363
                                                                                                                                        CONTENTS
                                                            ©2021 Saskatchewan Writers’ Guild

                                                                 Managing and Poetry Editor:
                                                                               Taidgh Lynch

                                                                        Associate Prose Editor:
                                                                                  Elena Bentley
                                                                                                      4 Editors’ Notes                  14 Mind Palace                30 New Clothes
                                                                            Design and Layout:                                          		EVELYN FOURSTAR             		MOMIN BILAL
                                                                                                      5 A Message from the
                                                                                    Shirley Fehr

                                                                                                     		 Youth Poet Laureate             15 Christopher                31 Darling, our life is a circus
                                                                                                                                        		ELEANOR GRANT
                                                                    Saskatchewan Writers’ Guild
                                                                          100-1150 8th Avenue                                                                              SEL ZBETNOFF
                                                                           Regina, Saskatchewan
                                                                                       S4R 1C9
                                                                                                      5 Awards
                                                                             info@skwriter.com                                          16 The Seat of My Favourite   32 Running Away for the Night
                                                                              www.skwriter.com
                                                                                                     6 I am From Extraordinary Places   		 Coffee Shop                		HEIDI TERFLOTH
                                                                                                     		GABRIELLE ROBERTSON              		CASSIE MEYER
                Windscript has been publishing the best of Saskatchewan high school students’
           literature since 1983 and was created by Victor Jerrett Enns, Executive Director of
                                                                                                                                                                      33 Musings of a Bird
            the Saskatchewan Writers’ Guild (SWG) from 1982 to 1988. His enthusiasm and              7 Be a Kid                         18 The Stain                  		BROOKE SAWATZKY
                                                                                                     		CLAIRE NAGEL                     		JANE GURNEY
                   determination kept the magazine alive in its first two years until permanent
                                                                        funding could be found.

    For twenty-one years, the magazine was distributed free to all high schools and libraries in                                                                      34 To Nobody At All
     the province. By 2004, funding sources were no longer available and the print publishing         8 Where the Wish Sails            20 The Dirt                   		ANNA DOLGOVA
                                                                                                                                        		KAMRYN HEAVIN
                     of the magazine was replaced by electronic versions on the SWG website.
                                                                                                     		GRACELYN DEUTSCHER
                                                                                                                                                                      36 A Tree’s View
    In 2011, due to popular demand from students and teachers, as well as offering it online,
                       the SWG was once again able to publish this magazine for promising
                                                              young writers in print form.           10 Buried Treasure                 22 Does the Past Become       		LILAH FLIEG-BACHESCHI
                                               The SWG is a not-for-profit membership driven         		GRAEME HOPKINS                   		Memory?
      organization that strives to sustain and enhance an environment in Saskatchewan where
                            writers and all forms of writing flourish; to promote the well-being
                                                                                                                                        		JACK BELL                   38 For They Were Ashamed
                                                  of all writers; and to advocate on their behalf.   12 Red                                                           		NETHAN SINGBEIL
     The SWG serves a membership spanning the entire province of Saskatchewan in Treaties
                                                                                                     		ERICA RACETTE                    24 The Way Winter Has
      2, 4, 5, 6, 8 and 10 which encompasses the unceded territories of the nêhiyawak (cree),                                           		Returned                    40 I am My Own Conundrum
                                                                                                     12 Seventeen                       		NOLAN LONG                  		GEORGINA DOYLE
                  Anihšinaˉpeˉ k (Saulteaux), Dakota, Lakota, Nakota and Dené Nations and the
                                                                Homeland of the Métis Nation.

                      The Saskatchewan Writers’ Guild gratefully acknowledges the support of
                                                                                                     		COURTNEY ELDSTROM
                                                              SaskLotteries and SaskCulture.                                            26 Supermarket Flowers        41 mirror
                                                                                                     12 Trip                            		SOHILA ELGEDAWI             		KELLY LAM
                                                                                                     		ERICA RACETTE
                                                                                                                                        27 worlds collide             44 Contributor Bios
                                                                                                     12 Too Much                        		EMILY ZBARASCHUK
                                                                                     Photo credits   		COURTNEY ELDSTROM                                              46 Submission Guidelines
Front Cover, pg. 2, pg. 27: Andy Holmes, unsplash.com; pg. 6: Bella Huang, unsplash.com;                                                28 A Mind Gone
                         pg. 9: canva.com; pg. 13: canva.com; pg. 14: Avi Naim, unsplash.com;        13 A Glimpse of Heaven             		ABIGAIL FRIESEN             46 Participating Schools
                  pg. 17: Toa Heftiba, unsplash.com; pg. 18: Bernard Hermant, unsplash.com;
                                                                                                     		ANNA PUENTESPINA
                                    pg. 21: canva.com; pg. 23: Jesus Rodriguez, unsplash.com;
      pg. 24: Siddhant Prasad, unsplash.com; pg. 29: Valentina Aleksandrovna, unsplash.com;
                   pg. 32: canva.com; pg. 37: canva.com; pg. 39: Adi Goldstein, unsplash.com

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Windscript The Magazine of High School Writing Volume 37, 2021 - Windscript VOL.37 2021 1 - Saskatchewan Writers' Guild
Jerrett Enns Award
                                                                                                                                                                            This award recognizes a high school student
MANAGING/POETRY EDITOR                                     ASSOCIATE PROSE EDITOR                                  YOUTH POET LAUREATE                                      for excellence in poetry and prose writing. It

Taidgh Lynch                                               Elena Bentley                                           Peace Akintade
                                                                                                                                                                            is named in honour of Victor Jerrett Enns who
                                                                                                                                                                            was Executive Director of the Saskatchewan
                                                                                                                                                                            Writers’ Guild from 1982 to 1988.

    Welcome to Windscript 37!
    Since 1983, Windscript has been promoting
                                                               What a humbling experience it was to work on        The world is eagerly waiting to receive your
                                                                                                                                                                            POETRY WINNER
                                                           Windscript 37! Choosing the prose pieces was a          perspective on her beauty. Each word you sculpt
young writers from all over Saskatchewan and               demanding yet thoroughly fulfilling experience,         is creating universes out of memories, inspiration,      Sohila Elgedawi -
every year another volume is published, which              given all the incredible submissions I had the          and unique experiences. I believe that young             “Supermarket Flowers”
gives students the opportunity to get their writing        privilege to read. Part of what I think makes this      writers are the most powerful creation because
noticed. The success of the magazine not only              issue of Windscript special is that despite all the     we have the power to create culture. We are                   HONOURABLE MENTION
depends on the writers, but also the teachers,             chaos, change, and upheaval the last year has           the inscription of self-discovery, mixed with an              Emily Zbaraschuk - “worlds collide”
parents, librarians, and unseen others who give            brought us, these young writers not only continued      unending need to form art. Imagine your feet are
their time and energy to promote and elevate
young writers.
                                                           to create art, but they were also undaunted in their
                                                           desire to share it. Their work serves as evidence
                                                                                                                   growing roots, your hands are branches, and your
                                                                                                                   words are oxygen. Do you think the tree knows
                                                                                                                                                                            PROSE WINNER
    As the submissions poured in, deciding what to         that art is powerful, and necessary, in trying times.   its influence? You may diminish your art, but your       Kamryn Heavin - “The Dirt”
publish was challenging. In the end, I was delighted           I feel very fortunate to have been a part of the    words give life to others. I want you to remember
                                                                                                                                                                                 HONOURABLE MENTION
by the variety of content. The prose and poetry            creation of such a wonderful issue, and so grateful     how important your presence is. How important
that has been selected is a reflection of the high                                                                                                                               Gracelyn Deutscher - “Where the
                                                           to have had the health to do so. In the spirit of       your vision is. I am filled with joy and energy when
quality of writing that is on offer in the province.       thanks, I have to give many to the SWG for providing    I think about the youths writing in their journals,           Wish Sails”
If I had to pick one theme that the magazine               me with an opportunity to continue to grow and          or scrambling a line in the middle of the night. Your
embodies, I would say, “loss”—loss of support,             learn as an editor. Thank you, Taidgh, for all your     imagination knows no bounds. Promise me that
loss of childhood, loss of friendship, loss of culture,
loss of family, loss of memory, loss of the mind,
                                                           hard work putting volume 37 together, for your solid
                                                           leadership, and for your collaborative approach.
                                                                                                                   you fall in love with your work. Fall in love with the
                                                                                                                   feel of the keyboard, the curve of a pencil; a simple    Currie-Hyland
                                                                                                                                                                            Poetry Award
loss of time, and loss of identity. The writing in this        Thank you to the writers—it was an absolute         way of romanticizing your passion. When you fall
volume resonates with the time that we are living          honour to work with you. Watching your work             in love with your presence in the universe, the
in. In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, we              evolve and develop during our time together was,        universe falls in love with you! Go forth my seeds
face our own losses, both big and small, on a daily        as many of you expressed to me, an amazing              of change, my tree of wisdom. Create a galaxy in         The Currie-Hyland Award for Poetry is awarded
basis. These losses are what make us human. No             process. I was so impressed by your willingness         your branches—give life to the readers!                  for excellence in poetry to a high school student
one is without them.                                       to explore and experiment, the careful questions                                                                 living outside Regina or Saskatoon. This award
    I am grateful to the SWG for entrusting the            you asked, and the thoughtful choices you made                                                                   was established in 1992 by the Saskatchewan
magazine into my care. A big thank you goes to             regarding your work. Most importantly, thank you                                                                 Writers’ Guild and the literary community of
Cat Abenstein who was a fantastic support and was          for trusting me with your stories. I certainly don’t                                                             Moose Jaw as a tribute to Robert Currie and
always available to answer any questions. This year,       need to tell you to keep writing and pursuing your                                                               Gary Hyland.
I was joined by Elena Bentley as Associate Prose           passions because if a global pandemic can’t stop

                                                                                                                                                                            WINNER
Editor. Having two editors is a first for Windscript. It   you, nothing will—and that gives me so much hope
was wonderful working with Elena. I couldn’t have          for the future.
done it without her invaluable assistance and input.                                                                                                                        Georgina Doyle - “I am a Conundrum”
    While much of the writing in this volume deals
with loss, resilience shines through and hopeful                                                                                                                                 HONOURABLE MENTION
voices emerge. Please join me in celebrating the                                                                                                                                 Cassie Meyer - “The Seat of My Favourite
writers of Windscript 37!                                                                                                                                                        Coffee Shop”

4                                                                                                                                                                                              Windscript VOL. 37 2021          5
Windscript The Magazine of High School Writing Volume 37, 2021 - Windscript VOL.37 2021 1 - Saskatchewan Writers' Guild
I am From
                    Extraordinary Places                                                             Be a Kid
                           GABRIELLE ROBERTSON                                                      CLAIRE NAGEL

    I
                                                                                     When you were eight, they told you to go and play
       am from my mothers and fathers who bring me joy. I am from many
                                                                                            To run, to adventure, to imagine
       homes with different experiences. I am from beyond the horizon. I am
                                                                                                They told you to have fun
       from the roses of the garden. I am from the deep dark blue eyes of
                                                                                                 They told you, be a kid
    my parents. I am from love and respect, from the golden rule. I am from
    whispering audiences and dancing on the stage.
        From the boat off the coast, to the ferry ride on the Atlantic. I am from
                                                                                    When you were twelve, they told you to act your age
    land that overlooks water for miles. I am from fish and saltwater. From
                                                                                       To do your work, to be mature, to act proper
    waves crashing against the rocks, and the feeling of the cool breeze on your
                                                                                             They told you to be a role model
    face. I am from deserted islands covered in sand. I am from big snowfalls
                                                                                                 They told you, grow up
    and windy weather.
        I am from wonderful people, interesting backgrounds, and across the
    ocean. I am from extraordinary places.
                                                                                        Now you’re sixteen they tell you, slow down
                                                                                              To think, to learn, to take it in
                                                                                                 They tell you to go back
                                                                                             To be that eight-year-old again
                                                                                         Don’t wish away the little time you have
                                                                                                  They tell you, be a kid

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Windscript The Magazine of High School Writing Volume 37, 2021 - Windscript VOL.37 2021 1 - Saskatchewan Writers' Guild
Where the Wish Sails
                                           GRACELYN DEUTSCHER

J
      ordy adjusted his sail in the          Laughing,        they     braced         “Jordy and I found a bottle!            “Yeah, you’re right!”             the delivery. The smile on Old         do it?”
      direction of the wind. He         themselves for the waves that             It has a piece of paper in it! Let’s        Jordy pointed at the note.        Man Hick’s face when the waitress           “I have no clue, but we have
      watched as the cloth puffed       pushed against them. Jordy                open it!”                               “What if we could make his wish       brought over the food made Jordy’s     to try.”
out before pulling the small boat       grabbed his girlfriend, Lana, and             “Why would someone put a            come true?”                           chest warm and he felt light. Like                      ****
through the water. He inhaled the       lifted her onto his shoulders. Brian      piece of paper in a bottle and then         “What are you talking about?”     he was walking on air.                      Jordy looked again at the bottle
slightly salty air, then leaned over    did the same with his girlfriend,         leave it in the ocean?” Brian asked.    Lana asked.                                Old Man Hick read the note        in his callused hand. A small smile
to pick up the glass bottle.            Jenny, and they faced off.                “Seems like a waste to me.”                 “What if we paid for a hot meal   multiple times before opening the      graced his lips and his eyes crinkled
     It was habit. A habit that had          After     some      good-hearted         “My grandmother always told         from one of the diners and had        containers, almost like he was         at the corners as he thought of that
spiraled out of his control. With       trash talk and a few rounds of            me that if you write down your          them bring it to Hicks. We could      terrified one wrong move would         first day.
every bottle he found, his need         wrestling, the couples started for        wish on a piece of paper, put it in a   ask them to give him this note with   make them disappear. He brought             “What are you thinking about?”
grew. He felt it in his veins and in    land. Breathless, but happy, Jordy        glass bottle, and give it to the sea,   the food.”                            a spoonful of deep-fried fish to his   a gentle voice asked.
his chest.                              wrapped his arm around Lana. She          your wish might come true!” Lana            Lana grinned and grabbed          mouth and leaned back into the              Jordy looked up at his loving wife.
     His hair was grey now. His         smiled at him before looking at the       explained.                              Jordy’s hand. They rushed towards     concrete barrier with a sigh.               “Just thinking about the first
skin, worn and wrinkled. His beard,     water.                                        “Stupid,” Brian said, clearly       Gibson’s Fish and Chips, the               “We should do this. The two       time we did this.”
bleached from sun and salt.                  “Jordy, look!”                       unimpressed.      “Let’s    go    get   popular diner on the boardwalk.       of us,” Jordy said. He looked away          He held up the new bottle.
     The bottle felt familiar in his         She was pointing at an object        something to eat.”                      Jordy swung open the door to          from the old man and stood up from     Lana smiled as she looked at the
callused hand. They all had a           floating six feet away from them.             He grabbed Jenny’s arm and          the diner for Lana, then bought       the bench, grabbing Lana’s hands.      sun reflecting off the glass.
similar weight to each other, and       The glare of the sun reflected into       pulled her away.                        a hot meal and asked for it to be     “We should find more bottles. Old           “It’s sure been a journey. You
after all these years it was hard for   his eyes. Jordy released his girlfriend       “Let’s open it,” Jordy said and     delivered to the man sitting across   Man Hick can’t be the only one to      ready to see where this one takes us?”
him to forget when he opened the        and swam towards the object.              handed Lana the bottle. “You do         the street with the plastic cup.      put their wish in a bottle and throw        “I’m always ready.”
first one. How warm and light he             “It’s a bottle,” he said.            the honours.”                               When they left the diner, they    it into the sea.”                           Jordy took the cork from the
felt when he finished reading that           He held it up for her to see.            Lana took the bottle and pulled     walked to a bench hoping to see            “Are you sure? How would we       bottle and unrolled the new wish.
first note.                                  “It looks like there’s paper         out the cork. She tipped the bottle
                ****                    inside,” Lana said.                       upside down and gave it a little
     The beach was crowded with              “Bring it back to the towels and     jerk to get the note. Putting down
people. Everyone wanted to              we’ll open it!”                           the bottle, she unrolled the note
capitalize on the thirty-degree              Lana’s smile grew bigger as          and read it out loud:
weather. Jordy had to zigzag            she raced out of the water. Jordy             “I wish I could buy a hot meal.
around the towels and umbrellas         quickly followed. When they got to        Ross Hick. August 2019.”
that occupied every available           the towels, Brian and Jenny looked            “Babe, what are the chances
space. His best friend, Brian, was      up confused.                              that’s Old Man Hick? The one who’s
on his heels, and their girlfriends          “What took you guys so long? You     always sitting by the shops with his
weren’t far behind.                     were right behind us,” Jenny said.        plastic cup?”

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Windscript The Magazine of High School Writing Volume 37, 2021 - Windscript VOL.37 2021 1 - Saskatchewan Writers' Guild
Buried Treasure
                                                GRAEME HOPKINS

I
    ’m startled into the present by        together and we hang out. It’s fun,     sister, but we’ve always hung out      buried it in different places. They    out of the crate. We all shout            still come over? What now? Leave,
    the aggressive rumble of the           but we never choose to be around        with her because she’s not that        planned to return later, but they      in excitement, but Sam looks              if you want. I don’t care anymore.”
    phone in my pocket. Just by the        each other anymore. Sam and             much younger than us. Michael is       never did.                             confused. She walks up to the                  Michael and Sam storm off.
feel of it, I can tell it’s some kind of   Michael found new friends. Me and       sinking into the sofa, typing on his       I jam my shovel into the dirt.     coins and picks one up. The smile         Eventually, I hear two cars drive
text message.                              Maddie, well, we just grew apart.       phone. Sam is sitting in a chair and   Michael, Sam, Maddie, and Gabbie       instantly disappears from her face.       away. Maddie is still standing
                                           I found a bunch of new friends,         looking down at her feet. Maddie       all have one of their own. We’ve       She looks devastated.                     there. For some reason, I stay. I
    The bell rings, and I leave            and I always assumed she found          walks in. They don’t look up. Maddie   been digging for hours. The sun            “What is it?” I ask. I grab one       think about what Maddie said. I
for break. I remove the buzzing            new friends, too. I’ll probably         used to be the center of attention.    beats down on my skin, teasing         of the coins to look at it myself. It     look at my shovel, and I see the
phone from my pocket, awaken its           meet them tomorrow.                     No one could not look at her and       out sweat from my neck and arms.       isn’t gold. It’s nothing but plastic.     stickers I put on it years ago. Then,
dormant face, and see a text from              I drive up the short dirt road      listen to everything she said.         We’re all exhausted, but we’re             “What’s the deal? Your precious       I see Maddie’s signature. When I
Maddie.                                    to Maddie’s place. Dust flies up,            “Um, guys? You remember           motivated by how rich we would         treasure is fake!” yells Michael. “Who    look back at Maddie, she’s sitting
                                           painting my car with dirt and mud.      Max? Well, here he is!” Sam and        be if we actually found the fabled     told you that story? Your parents?        slumped up against the trunk of a
     What’s up?                            I always wanted to live closer to       Michael both look up. Maddie           gold. I can tell Michael is getting    How come they didn’t tell you it was      tree. I walk up to her and offer her
                                           her. Her house backs onto a forest.     speaks louder.                         angry. Whenever things get tense,      fake? I don’t understand!”                my hand.
                      Not much. U?         When you’re standing in the middle           “So, Max. I was just explaining   Maddie talks in an overly happy            “I’m … sorry,” Maddie whispers.
                                           of this forest, you can look in every   to the guys what we’re gonna do.       voice and shouts over whoever          Tears well up in her eyes and crawl
     U free tmrw?                          direction and see nothing but trees     Today, we want to finally find the     else is speaking.                      slowly down her pale face. The
                                           slowly fading into the horizon.         treasure.”                                 “Hey, this reminds me of that      sun finally dips below the forested
                             Yeah y?           Maddie runs up to me. She’s              As kids, we would spend           one time when we poured water          horizon and douses our world in
                                           wearing her trademark giant smile       hours digging and looking for the      over the sides of that hole we         darkness. Her small lips quiver and
     Wanna come over?                      and the same kind of ripped jeans       treasure. When we were no more         made! Sam slipped and her clothes      twitch with every word.
                                           she would always wear whenever          than six or seven years old, Maddie    got, like, totally wrecked! You guys       “It was never supposed to
                                Sure       we went into the forest.                told us this old family story about    remember that?” Maddie says.           happen like this. It was a prank to
                                               “Max! It’s been, like, way too      some famous bandits who robbed             “I found it!”                      get us all excited. I was only six
     I know we haven’t hung out            long! I feel like I haven’t seen you    a bank. After being chased by the          I look around to see who found     years old! You were supposed to
     for a while but it’s my b day         in years! How are you?”                 police, they hid in the forest. To     the treasure. I see Gabbie, and        find it that first day, but you didn’t.
     in a couple days.                         “I’m good. I know it’s still a      save themselves from capture, the      she’s holding a wooden crate. We       You came back over and over again,
                                           couple of days away, but, happy         bandits lit the edges of the small     all run as fast as we can to her.      and we just kept digging. We had
     Michael and Sam are gonna             birthday!”                              forest on fire. But the fire spread,   All of us except Maddie. Michael       so much fun. But then we got older
     be there too.                             “Thanks! Wanna come inside?         and the thieves had to escape. The     snatches the chest from Gabbie’s       and you found new friends. I didn’t.
                                           Sam and Michael are here.”              only way out was to jump in the        hands and opens the latch that         I wasn’t good enough anymore.
                  Cool. I’ll be there.         I walk through the door that        river that ran through the forest.     holds it shut.                         How did you forget about me? Too
                                           leads into the living room of her       They couldn’t take the loot with           “No!” Maddie yells.                busy making new friends, I guess.
                                           house. I see Gabbie, Sam, and           them because the gold would weigh          I’m too excited to wonder why      As soon as you arrived, I knew it
   We all used to be friends. I            Michael. Gabbie is pacing around        them down and they would drown.        she would say something like that.     was hopeless. You’re too different.
mean, we technically still are. Every      the room, head bowed, looking at        So, with the short time they had       Michael empties the contents onto      If you had known the story was a lie
couple of months our parents get           the floor. She’s Maddie’s younger       left, they split up the treasure and   the forest floor. Gold coins pour      from the beginning, would you have

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Windscript The Magazine of High School Writing Volume 37, 2021 - Windscript VOL.37 2021 1 - Saskatchewan Writers' Guild
Red                                            Seventeen
     ERICA RACETTE                               COURTNEY ELDSTROM                                                       A Glimpse of Heaven
     i’m falling for you                                     One day
                                                                                                                                  ANNA PUENTESPINA
     for the same reason                             I’ll know what to do,
     that i fear you                                       where to go,
     which makes me wonder                                  who to be.
     if love and fear
                                                            For now                                      I am the Kingsmere River trail lying perfectly still between the twining trees.
     are merely synonyms
                                                     it’s okay to be lost.                                       I am the footprints left behind creating their own lasting memory.
     under different shades of red
                                                                                         I am the lazy river that is hidden between the trees for no one to ever find except for those who truly look.
                                                                                                 I am the warm sun that sits on their skin as they look up to the blue sky, soaking it all in.
                                                                                                           I am the hair-raising water they float down leaving their systems shocked.
                                                                                                              I am the reflection in the water mirroring their soft interlocking hands.
                                                                                                                    I am the jumping fish breaking through the water … Splash!
                                                                                                             I am the broken tree they float under giving them a cool shade of relief.

     Trip
                                                                                                                        I am a cloud, alone in the sky watching them laugh.
                                                                                                         I am the yellow daisy listening to their laughs and admiring their young love.

                                                     Too Much
                                                                                                                  I am the faint sound of a bee hovering over the fresh dandelion.
                                                                                                            I am the swift kayaker travelling past them, creating ripples in the water.
     ERICA RACETTE                                                                               I am the quick current pushing them through the branches while they spin uncontrollably.
                                                                                                              I am a sandbar where the river ends, and the bends of the road begin.
                                                 COURTNEY ELDSTROM                                                          I am a rare river filled with beauty of all sorts.
     some days                                                                                                           I am a hidden gem dug up from the deepest mine.
     he would put his foot out                                                                                                        I am a glimpse of heaven.
     so i’d trip                                        So what, then?
     and he’d catch me                             If not now, then when?
     just to prove                                  If not this, then what?
     that he could
                                                        “Answer me.”
     but one day
     he put his foot out                          He doesn’t speak a word,
     so i’d trip                                 but the air suddenly shifts.
     and i didn’t want him to catch me
     just to prove                       He doesn’t like girls who ask hard questions.
     I could catch myself

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Windscript The Magazine of High School Writing Volume 37, 2021 - Windscript VOL.37 2021 1 - Saskatchewan Writers' Guild
Christopher
                                                                                                               ELEANOR GRANT

                                                             C
                                                                     hristopher sat in his room.        This thing was not his daddy. It didn’t    as suddenly as the silence started,
                                                                     He was supposed to be              even sound human. He saw no colour         it ended.

     Mind Palace                                                     doing homework, but what
                                                             Daddy didn’t know wouldn’t hurt
                                                                                                        evaporating from it. This thing probably
                                                                                                        couldn’t feel anything.
                                                                                                                                                       He held Jeremiah to his chest
                                                                                                                                                   and covered him with his arms and
                                                             him. Christopher’s favourite thing              Christopher whipped his body          legs. Splotchy blue and orange
                                                             to do was watch the sunset with            towards the stairs, ran back up            evaporated from Jeremiah as the
     EVELYN FOURSTAR                                         his pet turtle, Jeremiah. Although         to his room, and locked the door.          bed flew across the room, exposing
                                                             Christopher couldn’t see it, it made       He heard footsteps, first on the           them to the dreaded thing.
                                                             Jeremiah happy and anything that           wooden tiles, then on the hollow               Christopher didn’t know what
     You asked me                                            made his turtle happy was worth            stairs. He dashed under the bed            happened after that, but he wasn’t
     What is home to you?                                    doing. He especially loved it in           and hid behind his toy chest and           scared anymore. All he knew was
     I thought for awhile                                    autumn because of how the leaves           boxes that hadn’t been touched             that he could see things that he
     What is home to me?                                     whistled in the wind. Mommy                since the move. He clutched                never could’ve dreamed of.
                                                             loved autumn. She liked the way            Jeremiah to his chest.                         He saw everything.
     Home is not just a place you lay your head              the leaves crushed and crumbled                 The footsteps stopped in front            Still holding Jeremiah, he stood
     Or a place to fill your stomach with a Sunday roast     underfoot. Christopher was sad             of his door. Holding Jeremiah              up and looked around. He was no
     It’s where dreams sit on mantelpieces                   that his mommy wouldn’t be there           tight, Christopher listened and            longer in his room. He was in a
     Where laughs brighten the room with warm light          to see it this year.                       wondered where his daddy was.              beautiful garden. He went searching
     Home is not a place                                          Christopher was blind, but he         The doorknob shook vigorously,             for his favourite flower, the ‘Lady in
     It’s a feeling of wholeness and serenity                could feel colour. It was like getting     then it went quiet. Christopher was        Red’ peony, but he found something
                                                             a headache of a different colour           paralyzed with fear. All he could do       much better. Christopher found his
     Home is in my memories                                  every time someone talked. He              was pray and hope that his daddy           mommy’s arms, and he wrapped
     I live within the lyrics of “Another Day in Paradise”   was four years old, but he’d already       would burst through the front door         himself in them as if they were a
     I lay my head on my innocent juvenescence               figured out what the colours meant.        before this thing could find a way         warm wool blanket. Then they
     I cover up in the lack of knowledge                     He knew that orange was fear and           into his room.                             found his daddy.
                                                             deep blue was despair, and the                  He fidgeted and grinned with              Christopher was so happy to
     What is home to you?                                    scariest colour was red. Red was           relief. But just as Christopher began      have his mommy back.
     Home is where I’m known best                            bad. Red meant danger. Today,              to feel hopeful, he heard a click. He          “Mommy,” Christopher whispered.
     Where no such thing as judgement exists                 his turtle was seeping red, and it         knew that this was no human.               “Can we stay here forever?”
                                                             filled the room like an oil spill in the        The thing pushed the door                 His mommy didn’t have to answer.
     Home is my mind palace                                  ocean. Something was wrong, and            open. Its heavy footsteps got              For in his heart, he already knew.
                                                             Jeremiah knew it.                          louder as it got closer to the last
                                                                  Christopher felt scared, so he        safe cranny of Christopher’s room.
                                                             ran down the stairs with Jeremiah               Christopher prayed even harder
                                                             and called for his daddy. He ran           than before. He prayed that his
                                                             into the kitchen and the living            daddy was okay and he prayed that
                                                             room, but no matter how hard he            he would come and save him. Hope,
                                                             searched, he couldn’t find him.            now, seemed like a string of deep
                                                                  “Christopher,” a distorted voice      blue. He kept waiting for something
                                                             whispered in his left ear. The sound       to happen. It seemed like nothing
                                                             was like nails scraping on a chalkboard.   was ever going to happen. And then,

14                                                                                                                                                   Windscript VOL. 37 2021          15
Windscript The Magazine of High School Writing Volume 37, 2021 - Windscript VOL.37 2021 1 - Saskatchewan Writers' Guild
The Seat of My Favourite Coffee Shop
                            CASSIE MEYER

          I always think that I’m over you                               I got so damn used to stepping into the kitchen
          I finally start to believe                                     And seeing ghosts of the people we once were
          That I’ve moved past the way that we once were                 Slow dancing in the kitchen on a Sunday morning
          But for some reason                                            The faint smell of brewing coffee pervading the air
          I can’t help but sit at the window seat                       Winter sunshine filling the room with light
          In my favourite coffee shop                                   Filling me with light
          In the hope that you’ll walk by                                But now the rooms have gone dark
          Perhaps you would see me sitting here                          And I don’t drink coffee anymore
          The way we did many moons ago
          Two people just existing side by side
                                                                         I’ve found that the dull sting of heartbreak
                                                                         Exists within every aspect of my life
          Something about being back in this place                       Although it does fade
          Makes me instinctively reach for my phone to call you          It still wanders through the streets of my mind
          My body goes on autopilot                                     As I sit here
          Because I’m desperate to hear your voice                       Many years later
          A voice that I once memorized                                  In the window seat of my favourite coffee shop
          But no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to remember it now

          I still look for your car on every busy street
          And for your face in every stranger
          Every time I get a text I wonder if it’s you

          See, I don’t think people ever truly move on
          I think we simply learn to live with the pain 
          Of losing the one that we love
          I’ve lived in this state of melancholy for so long
          That I’ve made a home here
          And suddenly I don’t want to leave
          I hung pictures of our heartbreak on the walls
          And arranged our tattered furniture carefully
          around the room

16                                                                                                                         Windscript VOL. 37 2021   17
Windscript The Magazine of High School Writing Volume 37, 2021 - Windscript VOL.37 2021 1 - Saskatchewan Writers' Guild
The Stain
                                                 JANE GURNEY

T
        he apartment is hot and              When I wake up I notice a          I can taste it, but it’s still out of      my apartment so I may show him               I pick, pick, pick until my nails        a difference. The steel is cold and
        humid. When I walk in the       small, round, reddish-brown dot         reach. A stinging sensation makes          the stain.                                   bleed. Afterwards a thick, foul, red     alien, something from an old life.
        door, the heat hits me like a   above the couch. It’s so small that     me look down and I realize I’ve cut             “You’re kidding me right? This          fluid stains my skin; it smells like     Soon I will not need these artificial
wave, washes over my eyes, nose,        I wouldn’t have noticed it if the       my hand. Blood blooms across the           gotta be some kind of prank. You             honey and meat just starting to          tools. Through the haze I am
and hair, and settles at the back       light hadn’t been just so. And yet,     floor, merging with the coffee and         like jokes?”                                 spoil. I worry that I am not dreaming,   vaguely aware of a low thrum that
of my neck. A buzzing fluorescent       the light is just so.                   spreading through the cracks in the             “What? No I—.” I try to stammer         that I am becoming accustomed to         fills my head, whispering sweet
light casts a sickly glow over the           I am certain it wasn’t there       tiles. I watch the pool grow before it     out some kind of defence. “The               its presence. It feels like company.     praise. My gift will be appreciated
place, accentuating the tan carpet      yesterday. Or maybe it was, I can’t     occurs to me that I should probably        stain is right there.” It’s looking at       My own personal parasite.                in the end. We will be whole.
and mildewy walls. I bring in my        be sure. It’s a strange texture         clean it up. I feel a bit sad as I clean   both of us, a giant mass above my                 My bedroom is so hot that I              When my palms run dry I find
bags, boxes, and an old couch.          that reminds me of dried blood, a       and sanitize, erasing the part of me       couch. The landlord cuts me off.             wake up drenched in sweat, my            new places to carve—anywhere
The apartment has no fan and the        scab waiting to be picked. I am so      I left on the break room floor.                 “Even if there was some kind            sheets sticking to me like flypaper.     I can hollow out and offer up to
window is locked. Moving in alone       very close to touching it when my            I arrive home late at night, and      of stain here—which, let’s not               I can’t move an inch as I struggle       my consumer. Standing is almost
isn’t easy, and soon beads of sweat     phone rings—it’s my co-worker,          immediately check the spot on the wall.    kid ourselves, there isn’t—you               to free myself. My tongue is             impossible. My feet falter and I
form on my brow. A single drop          wondering why I’m fifteen minutes            It’s grown larger, contaminating      can’t open the windows anyways.              cracked and sweat falls into my          lean against the stain, falling into
falls and plunges into the carpet. It   late. An ancient watch on my wrist      more and more of the space with            It’s a security risk. Look at you,           eyes. The smell of rotting flowers       its warm embrace. The scab is
rests briefly at the surface before     tells me otherwise. I hit it, but the   its filth. I don’t know why I am so        living alone. You’ll end up leaving          and unmixed paint crawls around          open and it hums lovingly, telling
being consumed by the fibres.           hands stay stuck. I sigh, hurry off,    disgusted by a simple stain, only          the windows open at night. Easy              my room and fills the back of my         me how well I did, how I have so
     I purchased the cheap apartment    and forget all about the stain on       that its eyeless shape watches             pickings.”                                   throat, clawing its way down. When       much potential, so much to give.
from a man with yellow-stained          my wall.                                me from across the room. My                     It is clear the conversation is over.   I am finally free, I stagger out into    So much more.
fingers who smelled like rot. He                                                apartment is hot and humid, and                 So I return to my humid little cage     the living room and stare longingly
handed me a small brass key                 Crash.                              I convince myself that if I can            where the stain grows ever larger.           at the stain, thoughts coming to the
coated in a sticky film that soap           My hands fumble as I try to         get permission from the landlord                I start to see it everywhere. I         surface from behind my eyes. Maybe
fails to cleanse. He only said one      pick up the pieces of the still-warm    to break the window lock and let           feel the urge to pick, to peel and           release wouldn’t be that awful. After
thing to me: “Rent’s due on the         coffee cup. I’ve been floating          some fresh air in, this perverse           dig. It is a scab, a blight, a mass          all, it would be so selfish to deny it
third of each month.”                   through my day, trying to keep          mould will simply disappear.               of rotting wood and wallpaper                what it craves most.
     Dinner is boxed pasta and an       my thoughts from wandering. As I             It takes me three days to finally     eating through me. I pick at it in                And so I turn my arm over,
apple I found in my bag. I notice       collect the ceramic shards, I begin     catch him. He never answers his            my dreams. Pieces flake off in my            examining soft, waiting flesh.
the bruise too late and my teeth        to think about it. Why is the stain     door, even when he knows I can             hands and worm their way under               Then I go to the kitchen and get
sink into brown, mealy flesh.           there? The question makes my            hear noises inside. He is blunt, yet       my nails. It seeks out all the cracks        a knife. The blade is a cheap one,
Dinner is now just boxed pasta.         skull itch; the answer is so close      courteous, and follows me back to          where it can rest and burrow inside.         but I sense that it doesn’t make

18                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Windscript VOL. 37 2021         19
The Dirt
                                              KAMRYN HEAVIN

I
    t’s not easy digging. It’s not      should have kept my head down          the dirt back into the hole.             shard and didn’t know what I was            I smile. “And what a beautiful      interrupt. “Why don’t you take the
    easy digging with blisters          and accepted the excuses.                   I start to leave the hurt behind.   doing until it was over. That, once     morning it is.”                         day off, Alice?”
    formed and already broken.              And then I remember the                 I start to feel a little lighter.   it was over, I couldn’t believe it,         I set the lipstick down and             She blinks. “But shouldn’t I
With my back and arms aching            insults and the shoving, and the            At some point, I start to laugh.    and I desperately wanted to take        rise from my stool. Today, there        clean first? Won’t the dirt upset Mr.
from this unfamiliar labour. With       endless, endless screaming.                 By the time the house comes         it back.                                will be no need for foundation or       Reynolds?”
fresh cuts stinging my palms.               Well no one’s screaming now.       back into view, the sky behind me             I could say that.                  concealer.                                  Oh, it will.
     But I don’t stop.                      This is the part where I’m         is stained a light pink. I’m barefoot,        But I won’t.                           Today, I am wearing the cuts,           The dirt will torture Mr.
     Because this is good pain. The     supposed to shed a tear. I’m           stumbling all over, and covered               When the maid, Alice, arrives      scrapes, and bruises, for the very      Reynolds.
best kind of pain.                      supposed to fall on my knees,          head to toe in dirt.                     for work, I’m sitting at my vanity.     last time.                                  The dirt will drive Mr. Reynolds
     The handle is awkward and          overcome with grief and pretend             Still laughing.                     I’m dressed in a deep crimson               Because I have nothing to hide.     absolutely mad.
shaky in my grip. The spade carries     that he meant something in this             When I enter the house, I stop      dress, my hair is pinned up, and            I will not bow my head.                 Yes, the dirt will make Mr.
less and less dirt from the hole        world, that he will be missed.         smiling.                                 I’m painting my lips a blood red.           I will not turn away.               Reynolds scream and shout and
with each throw. I’m almost done.           But after everything he’s taken         It looks exactly the same, feels         I listen to her soft footsteps         Today, I will meet each look,       spew curses like never before.
I’ve already decided I’m not going      from me, I owe him nothing.            exactly the same as it always has:       on the stairs, her sharp intake of      gasp, and whisper, with a smile.            “My father won’t mind at all,”
down the full six feet. At about four       I don’t give him a single word.    as if the walls are closing in and       breath as she draws to a halt in my         “I noticed there’s quite a bit of   I assure Alice, my lips curved
I call it good, and for once, no one    Just one final kick.                   the ceiling is falling down. There’s     doorway.                                dirt on the floor downstairs,” Alice    in a downright wicked grin. “In
is telling me it’s not.                     The rug lands in the hole with a   always been so much empty space               “Miss Reynolds,” she greets        says, watching me closely. “Would       fact, I think he’ll become rather
     I throw the shovel out first,      hollow thud and unrolls enough for     and never enough air.                    me, a hint of confusion in her voice.   you like me to—“                        comfortable with it.”
then hoist myself up. It’s the most     me to see the contents.                     I take a deep breath.               “It’s barely seven in the morning.”         “That’s quite all right,” I
graceless act I’ve performed in             One arm is pinned under his             I walk across the floorboards
years, pulling myself out of that       torso and one leg is bent at a         that warned me.
hole.                                   sickening angle. I don’t have to            I stand in front of the door that
     It’s marvellously, wondrously,     see his chest to know that there’s     hid me.
clumsy.                                 a large gash there, another across          I enter the room that broke me.
     Standing there, surrounded         his stomach. I don’t have to see his        There’s the shower curtain, torn
by the trees and blissful silence, I    face to know that his eyes are open    off the bar. The mirror, shattered in
look down at the body. I wonder,        wide, and the wound on his neck        the sink. And the shard of glass,
for the very first time, if I’ve made   is open even wider. I don’t have to    forgotten in a puddle of blood.
a mistake. Maybe I should have          see any of it to know he’s dead.            I could say that I didn’t mean
been more forgiving. Maybe I                I pick up the shovel and throw     to do it. That I had picked up the

20                                                                                                                                                                                                        Windscript VOL. 37 2021         21
Does the Past Become Memory?
                                                   JACK BELL

E
      veryday was the same. I           upstairs at all. I’ll never forget      answer I received was my echo           and accusations disappeared. I had
      would get home from school        when I realized that something was      bouncing off the walls.                 never seen her do that before and
      at 2:30 pm on the dot. I          wrong with my grandma.                       I crept down her stairs. The       I was scared.
would come through the back                 I was a little bit late getting     stairs were carpeted and creaked            It was a long night until my
door and slide off my shoes. I          home that day. I had been caught        at every shift and step. Surely,        grandpa got home, and a long few
never wore lace-up shoes because        up at school with a friend. The air     she knows it’s me,​I thought. ​Why      years until we got a diagnosis.
I hated sitting on the creaky           was cold. It was right before a         isn’t she saying hello? Did I do            When the phone rang, I was
wooden chair she kept pushed up         snowfall and the wind was sharp.        something wrong? When I got to          the one to answer it. I often
against the wall. She denied it, but    The walk home was torture. Like         the bottom of the stairs, I met an      answered it now. The doctor began
whoever sat in that chair fell victim   routine, I slipped off my shoes and     empty room undisturbed from the         in a soft tone, like he was trying
to its splinters. Even though I had     then dropped my bag. It thudded         night before where we had family        to encourage me to accept what
been told to put them on the rack       on the ground, but she never came.​     over for a movie night. The popcorn     he was about to say. ​   Alzheimer’s​
my whole life, I would leave my         Maybe she thinks I’m someone            bags laid stiff on the floor and        echoed in my ears. The word sat in
shoes by the door. Then I’d let my      else coming home,​I wondered.           empty pop cans were staggered           the back of my throat. Alzheimer’s.
overstuffed backpack fall off and       I stood there waiting to hear her       on top of every surface. ​It’s almost   I repeated the word and it came out
crash to the floor as my textbooks      footsteps because after living with     three, ​ I thought. ​She would have     like a heavy fog. Before the doctor
hit her travertine tiles, signaling I   someone for so long you know who        cleaned this up by now.                 could answer, I hung up the phone.
was home. Everyday she came out         is coming just by their step.                I slung my bag over the back       I slowly drifted through the house
of the basement with a smile that           I twisted around to pick up my      of her chair and called out. Just       to the living room where she spent
could fill a person with enough joy     bag and shoes. I slowly walked          before the echo could respond,          most of her days humming and
to last a lifetime. She always stuck    over to the shoe rack where I slid      I ran back up the stairs skipping       uneasily playing with her hands.
to her routine. She never missed a      them into their parking spot just       steps as I went. I called out again,    I stopped at the doorway. She
day. And I felt safe.                   as she did. I shuffled along the        but I still got no answer. I saw her    looked up at me and smiled like
    This is what she lost first:        floor, dragging my feet, hoping to      as I reached the top of the stairs,     she always did. Before I knew what
her sense of routine. The change        make my presence known. I hoped         sitting at the dining room table.       I was doing, I laid my head on her
was slow, and at the time it was        that maybe she had just lost track      She was facing out the window. My       lap like I did when I was younger.
impossible to notice. She would be      of time, and she would realize it       heart was pounding and my worry         I felt her body tense under my
a few seconds late coming up from       was me and I would see her smile.       turned into anger. ​Why didn’t she      head. She was unsure, but after a
the basement after I dropped my         But as I reached for the basement       respond to me? I​was so worried.        few minutes she stroked my hair
bag on the ground. A few seconds        door, the house was still as quiet as   I stomped towards her, but when I       like she used to. We stayed there
turned into a few minutes. And a few    it was when I arrived home.             touched her shoulder she recoiled       in silence late into the night.
minutes turned into her not coming          “Grandma,” I called. The only       as if I were a stranger and my anger

22                                                                                                                                                              Windscript VOL. 37 2021   23
The Way Winter Has Returned
                           NOLAN LONG

     I woke up shivering and alone in bed,                            The snow’s come back to our town.
     Wrapped in sheets that did nothing to save me from freezing,     At first fall, my mother told me to look out the kitchen window,
     And nothing to replace your arms.                                But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
     I sighed at the thought of winter.                               That’s when you loved me,
                                                                      When the snow was coming down.
     It’s been two years since I met you,
     In the basement of a girl neither of us really knew.             When I was finally forced to leave the house,
     Without saying a word to one another,                            I raged within myself,
     We laid on our backs and gazed at the stars through the roof,    For sure as the snowflakes reminded me of your beautiful words,
     But I only wanted to see your face.                              They scalded my skin.
     I’m glad I met you,
     In spite of all that followed.                                   About a week ago I started talking to a new boy.
                                                                      I thought it might help me finally rid myself of you.
     For a year after that night, I saw you for only moments          But though he was beautiful and kind,
     And short greetings in the hallways.                             Everything was different.
     I remember thinking, I’d love to be his friend.                  He wasn’t the lovely, caring boy I longed for.
     It took so much to realize I’d fallen for you.                   He wasn’t you.

     When I came to terms with the fact,                              There are two records on my shelf that I hadn’t played until today,
     And saw the sky growing above me,                                Because it was the music we listened to together.
     I hit the ground like hell,                                      But just like I was forced to go out into the cold,
     Had the breath knocked out of me,                                The ghost of our love made me play them,
     And didn’t breathe again until you kissed me.                    And I wept in the basement in memory of you,
                                                                      Not for the first time.
     It’s been almost a year since that happened,
     Since you approached me as the same precocious boy               Every day I fear
     I had become in my infatuation,                                  All the parts of you I hoped I’d left behind.
     But with spades more courage.                                    The morning’s new hellscapes I must face.
                                                                      Should I not be given respite from our history?
     For a time, you loved me back.                                   Is not the pain of my own emotion enough?
     But that short winter we spent together                          And should I fear the Winter of every year?
     Has reaped nothing but tragedy.
     The story of you and of my ever-breaking heart                   Please just tell me,
     Has become the source of my sorrow.                              Are you also thinking of me in this cold?
                                                                      Are you also reminded of the time you carried me over the snow?
     Now, every day that goes by I’m forced to wade in the memories   Or have you outgrown me,
     Which serve no purpose but to hurt me,                           Leaving me insignificant in myself?
     Because sure as it’s been long enough,
                                                                      Pray for me come January,
     I miss you more than I ever longed for you.                      For should I have to experience you leaving me all over again,
     I don’t know what I’ll do                                        I might not make it.
     When the anniversary of your leaving finally comes.

24                                                                                                                            Windscript VOL. 37 2021   25
Supermarket Flowers                                       worlds collide
     SOHILA ELGEDAWI                                           EMILY ZBARASCHUK

     I’m restocking shelves and                                before i met you,
     he stands in front of the flower stand.
                                                               infinity was
     The fluorescent lights baring
     a waxen face and chapped lips.                                        nothing more than
                                                               grains of sand on a beach,
     He reaches for sunflowers;                                the waistline of the universe—
     hesitates.
                                                               a measure      w     i    d      e     r
     They’re not right,
     his lips say.                                             than my arms could span,
     I wonder why not;                                         greater
     sunflowers are pretty.
                                                               than my mind could hold.

     He looks across the peonies, the lilies, the geraniums.
     I can tell by the flexing of his hands.                   but when we met,
     None of them are the answer.                                             time waned and waxed around us.
                                                               when we touched,
     I can see how he longed for one.
     A prayer spills from his lips;                                  constellations tangled,
     desperation from his eyes.                                		             horizons untethered,
                                                               			                  gravity lost its pull.
     The resolve washes over his face
     as he reaches for the roses.
     He holds them like a prayer in his hands,                 Galaxies colliding cannot compare
     brushing the petals with pious fingers.                   to knowing
     Salvation, his eyes say.
                                                               that nights spent numbering stars
     And I could see how he longed for it.                           are needed no longer
                                                               because you are the infinity
     I wonder what the gods think of us now,
                                                               within my reach.
     praying to supermarket roses rather than them.

26                                                                                                        Windscript VOL. 37 2021   27
A Mind Gone
                                             ABIGAIL FRIESEN

T
      he old woman sat slumped in      turned into half an hour, which        person—so bright and beautiful—              Her heart soared. He was              window. She sighed as her mother
      her hospital bed. Her breath     soon became fifteen minutes, and       the world had lost.                      home! Oh, he was finally home!            brushed the hair off her forehead.
      was steady, softly rasping       then five.                                 “Wherever you are, Mom,”                 She leaped with all her might             Before sleep could claim her
in her throat as the air struggled         But today was her mother’s         she whispered, smiling in spite of       into her father’s strong arms.            mind completely, she saw a break
out of her withering lungs. Her        birthday.                              herself and the hope that foolishly          “Papa,” she gasped, a smile           in the grey sky. For just a second,
daughter sat in the worn recliner          Weeks ago, someone had kindly      swelled in her chest. “I hope it’s       beaming on her face. “What are            the clouds parted. Sunlight flowed
chair beside her, fiddling with her    placed a small vase of flowers on      somewhere good.”                         you doing here?”                          golden upon the land, reaching out
purse and checking her watch           the side table to liven up the room.       She’s far away, she thought,             “Cara, my little spud! How could I    with soft fingers, illuminating the
every few minutes. No words were       Delicate flowers that were once        shaking her head. She stepped            be gone for my little girl’s birthday?”   people she loved the most. Cara
exchanged between them. The old        bright oranges and brilliant pinks     out of the small, stuffy room, and           Her birthday.                         felt within her something sinking
woman’s failing blue eyes were         were now dull and faded, wilting       away from the unbearable silence             Cara had thought nothing of the       deep into her bones. Something
trained on the window.                 far too quickly. The daughter found    that would forever be her mother.        day. Tough years made sorrowful           that touched her soul. As her eyes
    Her mind is gone, they all said.   herself staring at them. She felt a        And it was true. For in the          days. Her mother and siblings made        closed, she knew.
The daughter knew this. She knew       tender throbbing in her chest, until   golden light of dusk, the old woman      no unusual affections towards her.
her mother would never again talk,     she noticed her mother blink once,     was far away from the bed her frail      Why should they? Celebration was for                      ***
or move, or even shift her gaze.       long and slow. The old woman’s         body sat upon.                           the grand, and Cara was not grand.
She no longer believed her mother      fingers twitched.                                                                   Her father hung his hat on the            As the daughter walked to
could hear the words she spoke             “Mom?”                                             ***                      wall and then her mother, smiling         her car, she looked up at the grey
to her, so she abandoned them              It was the first thing she                                                  brightly, revealed a gift. Her siblings   November sky. Snow fell gently
over time. The doctors, nurses,        had said to her mother in a long           The cool, bitter wind stung the      laughed and sang songs. Joy was           on her hair while the tears slipped
family, and friends could only shake   time. She reached out and gently       small girl’s cheek as she bounded        brimming from their small homestead.      down her face. She smiled. In her
their heads in sadness. There was      placed her fingers on her mother’s     down the dirt pathway. She had           Her father had even brought oranges       heart, she believed her mother was
nothing they could do.                 hand. She watched, eyes wide,          been outside, picking at the hard        home. Oranges! She felt gladness          somewhere truly good, somewhere
    The daughter dutifully spent       but the old woman didn’t move.         soil that was her mama’s garden.         blossom in her chest.                     she could be free. And in that moment,
one hour every week in painstaking     The rhythmic sound of her ragged       The smell of fresh bread wafted in           The evening drove on far too          the clouds parted, illuminating her in
silence, watching her mother who       breathing was all that filled the      the air and quickly found its way to     quickly. Cara found herself on her        flowing golden light.
couldn’t raise her chin from her       silence. The daughter waited, but      her, but nobody called her in. She       father’s knee next to her younger
chest. She sat there because she       her heart sank with every silent,      was beginning to think they had          sister who had claimed the other.
knew her mother deserved at least      passing second. Tears that never       forgotten her.                           Her belly was bursting with warm
that much. Yet life proved to be too   came now spilled over her cheeks.          She was almost home when             stew and freshly buttered bread,
time consuming, and the daughter           She cried for a long time. She     she saw the door swing open. A tall      and now drowsiness settled upon her
found herself too busy to find the     cried for the mother she would         figure, with a familiar twinkle in his   drooping eyelids. Perfectly content,
extra time in her week. The hour       never have again, and for the          eye, stood in the doorway.               Cara gazed through the small

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Darling, our life is a circus
                                                                                  SEL ZBETNOFF

     New Clothes
                                                                                  People come from far and wide, creating an audience.
                                                                                  Critics queue to catch a glimpse of our imaginary beards.
                                                                                  We are a simple concept that some people just can’t grasp.

     MOMIN BILAL                                                                  We are a topic of conversation for being much more than “normal”.

                                                                                  Darling, our life is a circus.

     New clothes, mandated upon me by unfamiliar faces,                           Our   given names are screamed through the air by the close-minded ringleader.
     Sewn with the cries of my people, dull and lifeless.                         Our   life choices are commercialized and amplified by the megaphone of opinion.
     They were a layer of disconnection surrounding my soul,                      Our   “lifestyle” is something people watch from the edge of their seats.
     Forcing me to forget my beaded, colourful, traditional clothes.              Our   every move highlighted with the spotlights of judgement.
     The fabrics, which instead of comforting me with warmth and vitality,
     Acted as armour; hard, mechanical, and cold.                                 Darling, our life is a circus.
     The shoes and socks leading my feet, reminded me not to step out of line,
     One wrong step and I would be beaten.                                        Some agree with our way of life, but those who don’t love to speak
     The shirt, ordinary from a glance but irritating on the inside.              Our trainers shock us to balance on our unwanted paths.
     Its sleeves digging into my flesh, its high collar smothering my emotions.   We have the tempers of kittens but are made out to be monstrous tigers
     The constricting band at the waist,                                          We are harmless, but can terrify a person by simply existing.
     Not given to me as a way to hold myself together,
     But used to break me.                                                        Darling, our life is a circus.
     Finally, a headband,
     A target on my head that read “Assimilate me”,                               We    are   an   act   to be talked about,
     Visible to only those who desired to see it.                                 We    are   an   act   that’s laughed at.
     “Bring back my old clothes please,” I say.                                   We    are   an   act   because we stray from expectations
                                                                                  We    are   an   act   because of our love.

                                                                                  Darling, our life is a circus.

                                                                                  But my dear, my love is a net to catch you when you fall from the tightrope.
                                                                                  Your embrace is the safety harness they never offered us
                                                                                  Our hope is the key to free us from this place

                                                                                  If it means I can protect you, Darling I’ll turn my words into flames
                                                                                  And I’ll burn this circus to the ground.

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Musings of a Bird
     Running Away for the Night                                                     BROOKE SAWATZKY

     HEIDI TERFLOTH                                                                 The humans had been acting strange lately,
                                                                                    Mused the little bird. Normally they were always
                                                                                    Going somewhere, always had places to be.

     I
         am so small in the darkness. Tiny pinpricks of light speckle the           Humans lived their lives in a blur of motion,
         abyss above me like sprinkles tossed across a cake. There’s no             Constantly striving to do more, to make more, to be more
         particular order, but everything seems right where it should be.           Never stopping, rarely registering their surroundings.
         Blades of grass tickle my arms and cheeks. The ground is soft              What had changed? Wondered the little bird,
     underneath me, and a light breeze wisps my nutmeg hair across my               Now that the humans spent their days
     face. Everything smells like fresh rain. All I can hear are the crickets       Locked away in their homes,
     and the faint sound of faraway cars on the freeway.                            Some of them, all alone.
         This lack of technology feels odd. I’m not sure what to do. I’m not        As the little bird alighted
     bored—maybe a little lost, like a piece of me is missing. But the hole         On one of his preferred perches,
     slowly fills as I realize that I don’t need my phone right now because         He felt a pair of eyes watching him
     I’m here, and that’s all I want. The night tips. It dives and winds itself     Human eyes. Those eyes followed him around,
     into a little ball and plants itself in my chest. I don’t need the internet.   And they seemed sad to see him go.
     Or people. I need the sky. I need every star and planet up there. I            This was a memory he often pondered,
     tuck them into my memory and I plan to never let them go.                      As it did not match his previous experiences
         I wish I could get away from the city more often. To run and run           When the humans had paid him little mind,
     and run into the night, to a random hill in the middle of nowhere, like        Often not noticing him at all.
     this one, away from civilization and responsibility. To collapse on the        They used to disturb his day with their constant need for noise
     ground panting, but laughing, and filled with passion. It seems like I         So, when did they learn to appreciate the silence?
     never get to run like this in the city. No high-rises or factories get in      Yes, the humans were certainly acting differently
     the way here. I can escape every email and video, dodge all the wires          But the little bird was not one to complain
     blocking my path, and never look back.                                         As the peace and quiet was a pleasant change
         But I have to go back. I have a life in the city and I can’t survive       Though it did feel odd, as he flew over town
     on my own. Maybe I’ll turn off the modem. To be honest, I probably             To see so many humans aimlessly walking around.
     won’t because I am human, and humans are addicted to the internet.             Usually they traveled in their machines that growled
     I need it to connect with people and for work. I promise myself I will         Yet now they preferred to wander on their own feet
     come back. I promise that I will marvel at the sky again one day.              And the little bird was ever so confused
                                                                                    As to why the humans no longer traveled in groups,
                                                                                    But rather in twos or threes,
                                                                                    With such large distances between them
                                                                                    And with strange coverings over their beaks.
                                                                                    They seemed such curious creatures,
                                                                                    That they would choose to obscure their features.
                                                                                    From up above, the humans looked like leaves,
                                                                                    Not seeming to care where the wind carried them.
                                                                                    Still, strange as they may be,
                                                                                    Humans had faced change before, quite resolutely
                                                                                    And the little bird knew, without a doubt
                                                                                    That whatever problems the humans now faced
                                                                                    Sooner or later, they would figure it out.

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