The Convention E-ar - National Senior Classical League
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The Convention E-ar
An Official Publication of the Senior Classical League
Saturday, July 25, 2020 Volume LX, Issue 2 VPN in Richmond, VA
NJCL Braces for Outbreak of OVID-19 Virtual Safety Orientation
NJCL General Assembly I was missing the typical
safety orientation, so we in the Ear Office would
like to remind the JCLers of a few important rules
and health tips for this virtual convention.
Clothes must be worn at all times. This is for your
own safety! We don’t know how it keeps you safe,
but please. Just wear clothes.
Drink lots of water. Even though regular Ludi &
Athens, Georgia times and stay indoors ex- Olympika are not scheduled, it is still important to
The Centaur for Disease cept for E-lympika. OVID- stay hydrated. Take a sip every time someone says
Control is closely monitor- 19 has a much higher verb “virtual.” Yes, this time counts. Drink.
ing an outbreak of poetry rate than the common Cice-
caused by a novel Publius ronavirus, and we all need Take breaks from staring at your screen. Try taking
Ovidius Nasonavirus first take the appropriate precau- tests with your eyes closed for fifteen minutes. You
identified in Richmond, Vir- tions.” might not place, but you will save your eyes!
ginia, in the United States.
Cases of OVID-19 are also Classics groups across both Remember! You are responsible for your own safe-
being reported in a growing academia and industry aca- ty this year. Honestly, if you just want to stay locked
number of state and local demia are racing to devel- in your room all week, we support you.
JCL chapters. Symptoms op a vaccine. Medical re-
include shortness of breath searchers at the Oak Ridge
(after breathlessly recit- National Latin Exam have
ing verses), dizziness (as successfully sequenced the
though struck by Cupid’s virus that causes OVID-
arrow), and a lack of taste 19 and published its entire
for anything not written in genetic code online. The
meter. Cambridge Latin Course-
based startup Antiqua
NJCL’s chief elegiacologist Therapeutics was the first
Dr. Antony Chiron issued a company to begin OVID- Weather Update
statement Friday cautioning 19 clinical trials. Their This morning, the weather in Richmond was—ac-
convention attendees about groundbreaking ‘carmen tually I don’t have the faintest clue. I do know that I
the virus. “We are taking et erroRNA’-based vaccine was quite comfortable behind my computer all day
precautions similar to the uses the body’s own cells (except when trying to eat lunch during academic
ones we recommended to mimic a natural infection testing). I believe it’s safe to say all convention at-
during the 2009 outbreak of by producing viral couplets tendees remained at least six feet apart during GA.
Homer1Number1, colloquial- that can be recognized and Though I couldn’t see or hear my fellow JCLers, it
ly known as the Circe Flu. banished by the immune was lovely to see your names on a screen.
You should maintain social system. With JCLove,
distance of at least one line Jesse Cai, TN
of dactylic hexameter at all
SCLer Austin Chu Does Silver Bowl Hat Trick
We at the Ear are pleased to celebrate the first ever Silver Bowl hat trick, beautifully
executed by Austin Chu. While technical difficulties seemed ready to disrupt Aus-
tin’s receipt of his first Silver Bowl during GA 1 on Friday morning, all was not lost
as the gods decided to re-start Austin’s Silver Bowl presentation twice, resulting in
our first-ever three-time Silver Bowl recipient.
To continue celebrating and remembering this tremendous achievement, we’re hap-
py to announce that recitation of Austin Chu’s Silver Bowl presentation will be
included as a new Creative Arts contest at the 2021 NJCL Convention at San Diego
State University and all future conventions.
Animal Crossing: New Convention
Instead of video meetings, NJCL Convention will be moved to Animal Crossing:
New Horizons at our new island getaway “RichmondVA.” Here’s what you can ex-
pect:
-Rumor has it that Octavian made a bid to be the new ACL Representative.
-Prepare your nets for the Ludi Wasp Catch!
-There have been reports of fraudulent Graphic Arts being submitted by the myste-
rious JCLer, REDD.
Personals
Submit to editor@nscl.org, subject “PER-
SONAL.” Character limit 250! We mean it.
To Bering, Emma, To my fellow Latin la-
Lawful Good Neutral Good Chaotic Good
Ethan, Lan, Linh, Lo- dies of DHS,
relei, Saif, Teddy, Will:
thank you for making Streaming a full
Using “raise Asking everyone episode of Avatar:
I am so proud of you my first year as pres-
hand” feature be- to introduce their the Last Airbend-
all! Bonam fortunam! ident of JCL at DHS
fore speaking pets er as your back-
Maximo cum amore, such an amazing one.
Parva I hope that at y’all’s ground
first national conven- Lawful Neutral True Neutral Chaotic Neutral
To Bering, Bunny, tion you are able to feel
Emma, Gray, Kenzie, the JClove and finally Using “clap” fea- Muting self when Starting a com-
Lorelei, Will, William: understand all my cra- ture a lot because not speaking pletely different
Thanks for being such ziness. your webcam is conversation in
an amazing group to broken the chat
spend our first virtu- I move to reinstate the
al NJCL with! Dorm Andrew Margrave Fan Lawful Evil Neutral Evil Chaotic Evil
time = tempus opti- Club. Any seconds? Publicly ask-
mum! Vos amamus! ing people who Using a video of Not using your
- Danny ICE, Parva, et Taylor Swift works breathe too loudly yourself interrupt- real name
Situla hard, but Ann Nguyen to mute them- ing yourself as
works harder. We love selves your background
you, Ann! - LSCL
Poll 1: What’s 1 Fax machine, but
program it so it makes
the best plat- noises in Morse code
forms for state 1 Connecting to a hive
delagations to mind
keep in touch? 1 The chat box during
GA
62 JCLers said: 1 Telepathy
16 Screaming really 1 Minecraft server
loud out the window 1 Xbox party chat
10 GroupMe 1 Remind, DMing
8 Discord 1 Forget pigeons, let’s
8 Tin can network, con- go owls, Harry Potter
nected by strings style
6 Carrier Pigeons 1 The SCL needs no
4 Slack platform because of the
1 Instagram! whole omniscient thing
MERCHMERCHME THE NJCL
RCHMERCHMERC FORECAST
H M E R C H M E R C H M Nationwide heat
ERCHMERCHMERC wave from increase
HMERCHMERCHM in JCLers’
ERCHMERCHMERC laptop usage
HMERCHMERCHM
ERCHMERCHMERC
HMERCHMERCHM
ERCHMERCHMERC
HMERCHMERCHME
A Day in the Life of Jace E. Yeller’s
Kitchen Pot (not sponsored)
Oh, to be a pot (Utopia Kitchen 2 Quart Nonstick Sauce-
pan with Glass Lid - Multipurpose Use for Home Kitchen
or Restaurant). My day begins in the grimy depths of Jace
E. Yeller’s sink, immersed in last night’s sludge pile. Sud-
denly, I hear a scream, “Oh, my University of Richmond
Spider™! Is that my Utopia Kitchen 2 Quart Nonstick
Saucepan with Glass Lid - Multipurpose Use for Home
Kitchen or Restaurant sitting in my Kraus KHU100-30
Kitchen Sink, 30 Inch, Stainless Steel? How could I have
woefully neglected the care and love of Utopia Kitchen 2
Quart Nonstick Saucepan with Glass Lid - Multipurpose
Use for Home Kitchen or Restaurant?” The loving feeling
of Dawn Ultra Dishwashing Liquid Dish Soap, Original
Scent - 19.4 oz. washes over my rotund body. Purified
once again, I am ready for another lonely day sitting on
the stovetop. Time passes while Jace experiences the joy
of convention, sitting and laughing at a computer screen
for 10 hours. Suddenly, I see the typically couch-bound
Jace sprint around the house! “What is going on?” I ask
myself, “The FitnessGram PACER Test™?” Faster than
Dennis Webb striking down an election rule violator, Jace
E. Yeller appears before me. Jace snatches me up like a
wig on Ru Paul’s Drag Race. Before the 47 scavenger hunt
attendees, Jace displays me, stains and all. Eheu! I did not
receive or sign the NJCL Convention signature form from
Vicki Curler! To be continued...
Cheers,
sa//ust
(Personals cont.) Bagels are round To Savannah from Vir- my head - L & E
The sun is round ginia, Thank you for en-
Richard, thanks for being The sun is yellow couraging me to apply Big Jupiter, Situla, et Par-
my JCLmate during these Bananas are yellow for a Nationals packet at va, Thank you for helping
past four years! I’ve en- Bananas have spots the NJCL Kahoot Game! us achieve our certamen
joyed all our adventures. Spots lived long life Without you, I wouldn’t dreams!
See in college! :) Life? That’s my favorite be here, virtually! XOXO Gossip Team
cereal! With Love, Savannah
Happy Graduation, Anika I once paid ten dollars for from FloridaA special shoutout to Con-
and Megan! it necticut, if you’re here.
Gratias for making it a Ten dollars! That’s craaa- Danny ICE, thank you Y’all are the best.
snazzy year! zy!!! SO MUCH for being the With love,
Magistra Palumbo and the I was once crazy, they put best chaperone ever. You Kevin and the VJCL
AZJCL Kids. me in a round room and fe make every convention
awesome with your amaz- Shoutout to everyone in-
Thanks so much for put- “I need a bad bleep, uh ing chaperoning skills volved in Competitive
ting all of this together! Addison Rae, lil shawty and your hilarious jokes! Certamen for your flexi-
You are amazing! the baddest yeah, and she “Sic transit gloria, I didn’t bility, resilience, and per-
got her ways... Obviously know Gloria was sick.” severance.
I w a s w o these lyrics are very heart- CLASSIC!!!
n d e r i n g i felt to me because I AM - Bering Shoutout to awesome
f s p a c e s Addison Rae :)” P.S. Thanks for tea Open and WSOC Chairs,
c o u n t e d t From anonymous Kendal and Chris! I ap-
o w a r d s t h BB, Why did you stop preciate everything you
e c h a r a c t coming to LGG? SMH have done.
e r l i
Have you been
waiting all year to
dance like no one
was watching, but
with people ac-
tually watching?
Tune in for
NJCL’s first-ever
virtual dance party!
JCLers Must Wear Clothes to Virtual Convention
Given the apparent confusion about Zoom etiquette, we at the Ear
have put together a guide to explain what is and is not acceptable attire.
Not Clothes Clothes
1. A suitcase
1. JCL shirt + nametag
mythology
1. the 753
2. varsity latin tee
3. the last great roman dynasty
2. Board games 4. banishment (ft. the racketeers)
5. i overslept testing
2. SCL shirt + hat
6. glowsticks
7. VII
8. july
9. this is me hyperbuzzing
10. purpling
11. nametag
12. maenad
13. eheu
14. susan
15. fellowship
16. nomcom
bonus track: sweat
3. Pots and pans 3. Toga!
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