Immigrant mothers and school Relations with teachers
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Immigrant mothers and school
Relations with teachers
Madri immigrate e scuola
Il rapporto con gli insegnanti
Ivana Bolognesi
Ricercatrice di Pedagogia Interculturale / Università degli Studi di Bologna
Dialogue represents a founding educational principle of intercultural pedagogy
and may be traced back to the relationship between immigrant mothers and
teachers in school. Through their words and the research conducted in this field,
many aspects characterising the relationship between school and immigrant fam-
ilies emerge, at times marked by alliances, shared expectations and intentions and
at other times by conflicts and mutual misunderstandings. The role of teachers
and their awareness of the dynamics and complexities of migration are decisive
not only for building educational alliances but also for the educational and pro-
fessional success of the children, Italian citizens of the future.
Keywords: intercultural pedagogy, dialogue, school
Il dialogo rappresenta un principio educativo fondante la pedagogia interculturale e
può essere rintracciato nella relazione che intercorre tra madri immigrate e inse-
gnanti all’interno del contesto scolastico. Attraverso le loro parole e le ricerche svol-
te in questo ambito emergono i tanti aspetti che caratterizzano la relazione scuola e
famiglie immigrate talvolta contraddistinta da alleanza, da intenti e aspettative co-
muni, talvolta da conflitti e incomprensioni reciproci. Il ruolo degli insegnanti, la
loro consapevolezza delle dinamiche e della complessità dell’evento migratorio sono
determinanti non solo per la costruzione di un’alleanza educativa, ma per la stessa
riuscita scolastica e professionale dei loro figli, futuri cittadini italiani.
Parole chiave: pedagogia interculturale, dialogo, scuola
Pedagogia Oggi / Rivista SIPED / anno XV / n. 1 / 2017
ISSN 1827-0824 © Pensa MultiMedia Editore, Lecce-Brescia 193Immigrant mothers and school
Relations with teachers
1. Migration and the encounter with school
Welcoming a child into a new school means firstly welcoming their family,
their mother and father with their own history and their expectations of
the school. This is particularly the case for immigrant families, as for them
the educational success of their children represents an genuine opportu-
nity for integration, a possibility to improve their own social status, a tes-
timonial of the success of the family’s migration after so many sacrifices.
Many reasons underlie the decision to migrate, they are not only relat-
ed to economic grounds but may be linked to the desire for emancipation
and personal freedom, or family ties that lead people to join their spouses,
reforming the family group or forming a new one. The presence of family
groups is not only the mark of stabilisation and settling in the host coun-
try, but also marks the start of a process of integration between immigrant
families and the host society (Donati, 2009)1.
As several authors have described, mothers play a particularly impor-
tant role in the process of acculturation to the new context: they are di-
rectly involved in transmitting cultural traditions, yet at the same time they
represent the point of convergence between the culture of origin and that
of the host country (Cattaneo, Dal Verme, 2005).
Statistics underline an increase in female immigration in Italy, and in
the past few years the number of females has exceeded the number of
males2 (Dossier Caritas Migrantes, 2015, 2016).
1 The history of the constitution of each family group is marked by many different as-
pects, including: the characteristics of the migration itself (the reasons for migrating,
perspectives for stabilisation or a return to the home country, links with the country of
origin); the methods of reunification or formation of the family group; the parents’ lev-
el of education; racial and economic discrimination suffered; expectations towards mi-
gration).
2 The latest statistics report the percentage of female immigrants at 52.7% (Dossier Car-
itas Migrantes, 2015), with 107,096 residence permits being issued in 2016 for family
reunification (Dossier Caritas Migrantes, 2016).
194 Pedagogia Oggi / Rivista SIPED / anno XV – n. 1 – 2017Having formed the family group, all members are affected by profound
transformations; in reunified families, there is a veritable process of re-
arrangement of family balances. Parents are on one hand busy recon-
structing their bond as a couple, and on the other hand re-establishing
their roles with their children: fathers may lose their social relevance,
while mothers may acquire it, increasingly becoming the main interlocutor
with educational services and school; children, particularly those who
continued to live in the country of origin and who are later reunified with
their parent, desire to rebond with their parents who, following the migra-
tion, are “seen” in a different light.
Particularly in newly founded or reunified families, becoming wives
and mothers after being reunited with their husbands, women have to
cope with significant changes in their own identity and the new family and
social role acquired, and as a result they have to tackle a number of prob-
lems, not only of loneliness but also advantages, linked to migration
(learning a new language, joining a new socio-cultural context) and mater-
nity (birth of a child, contact with different educational and care practices
to their own) (Tognetti Bordogna, 2007; Balsamo, 2003). In some cases
the educational styles and experiences of migration can make immigrant
mothers insecure of their own knowledge and skills. The ethno-psychia-
trist Marie Rose Moro writes
The hypothesis developed is that migration requires a psychological
effort on the part of every woman, but is complicated by the con-
straints of migration: acculturation, loneliness, individualism. In-
deed these women deal with loneliness that is not only isolation, it
lays bare psychological processes which, in other contexts and en-
vironments, are traditionally related to cultural practices (Moro,
Neuman, Réal, 2010, p. 3).
Mothers choose to send their children to education services, nursery
schools and preschools for basically two different reasons. The first con-
cerns the possibility to access the job market, the second offers their chil-
dren the opportunity to socialise with other children and learn Italian.
(Bolognesi 2007; Favaro, Mantovani, Musatti, 2006).
For parents, children starting school is a significant event of social
change, which again transforms family dynamics, as the contact and every-
day dialogue with teachers and other families leads immigrant parents,
and particularly immigrant mothers, to question their own educational
values and styles and indeed their own migration project.
Mothers become increasingly aware that the presence of children leads
Ivana Bolognesi / Interventi e Prospettive 195to a profound change in their affective, symbolic and economic invest-
ments, which no longer focus on the country of origin but rather on the
host country: on one hand, they try to hold onto their own traditions and
educational styles, and on the other hand to build a mediation between
their own cultural references and those found in the host society, particu-
larly those proposed at school (Tognetti Bordogna, 2001).
2. Mothers and teachers in dialogue
With a view to building educational alliances, from the very start of school
teachers are committed to building relations of trust and dialogue with the
parents. In this initial phase, the privileged interlocutor is the parent or
other family member who is most familiar with the Italian language, sub-
sequently daily contact is maintained with the mother, particularly for
some cultural groups. The mother is therefore assigned a key role which
offers her social visibility, as often she is the person the teachers refer to
for information on the child, to make specific requests (homework, trips,
school material, etc.), to involve her in all the initiatives concerning the life
of the school in which active participation is requested from the parents
(class meetings, parent-teacher conferences, educational projects, work-
shops, etc.).
However, mothers prefer to maintain individual dialogue with the
teachers, as participation in group meetings continues to be a problem
where there is a poor command of the Italian language, scarce under-
standing of the school’s pedagogical culture, or a sense of extraneousness
which is often experienced towards other parents (Bove, 2015; Bolognesi,
2013; Favaro, 2011; Tieghi, Ognisanti, 2009). The teachers themselves un-
derline this aspect, stating:
The problem is that the mother does not know the language, and
she is the one who can come (to the meeting), the father comes
home in the evening, and we never have meetings in the evening
[...] The mother doesn’t understand so she doesn’t come to the
meetings. Then the next day she asks you what was said. I mean,
they don’t come when we all talk together, when we exchange ideas,
then they come the next day and ask: “What did you talk about?
What did you say? What do I have to do? [...] And then the for-
eigner comes and sits at the back, to one side, so it doesn’t even
seem like they’re there, because we talk to the parents, but at the
back you have the immigrant (Bolognesi, 2013, p. 129).
196 Pedagogia Oggi / Rivista SIPED / anno XV – n. 1 – 2017A Ghanaian mother said on the same issue:
I go to all the school meetings. I have a really good relationship with
the teachers when I see them, they always have good things to say
about my son. But some of my neighbours don’t go, because they
say they don’t understand what the teachers say (Maher, 2012, p.
65).
These two testimonials represent two exemplary points of view of sit-
uations which unfortunately continue to persist today despite the consol-
idated present of immigrant children and parents in schools. From these
words, as found in other testimonials, we can see not only a difficulty on
the part of the immigrant parents but also that of the teachers themselves,
who do not see these parents as interlocutors. In the relationship with im-
migrant mothers and fathers, often the teachers do not consider them-
selves cultural subjects who act and interpret the context and the relations
between people, starting from their own values and knowledge belonging
to the pedagogical culture of the school. This form of ethnocentrism cre-
ates misunderstandings and difficulties in the construction of dialogue, of-
ten leading to improper requests for linguistic-cultural mediation. In some
realities, however, broader reflection underlying these positions is starting
to make headway. Research supports the need to develop thought and
pathways moving in the direction of the awareness and deconstruction of
mutual prejudices (Bolognesi, 2016; Bove, Mantovani, Zaninelli, 2007; Sil-
va 2004).
It must however be underlined how much dialogue with the teachers,
particularly at lower school levels (nursery, preschool and primary school),
although at times conflictual, offers opportunities for personal growth, a
change in self-perception by immigrant mothers. Day to day dialogue with
the teachers and other parents leads mothers to change their own percep-
tion of their parental role, seeking other methods, other words for inter-
acting with their children. A profound existential change that goes beyond
the parental role emerges, touching the whole identity of the woman who
experiences migration (Bolognesi, 2017).
Day to day contact between mothers and teachers lays the foundations
for a dual process of integration which concerns not only the children but
also the mothers: children lead their parents to new destinations, values
and educational styles that would otherwise not be pursued or even un-
derstood by adults; the more attentive the parents are to the school’s ped-
agogical culture, the more the children acquire its implicit languages and
references (Demetrio, 2003, p. 470).
Ivana Bolognesi / Interventi e Prospettive 197Sometimes immigrant mothers become spokeswomen for discrimina-
tory and depreciating choices made by the institutions which relegate
their children to classes in which all, or the majority of, children are of for-
eign origin; an Indian mother states:
They say “we don’t want foreign children”, but if they say that they
don’t understand what school means, because school is equal for
all, at school there is no Indian, Pakistani, or Italian, they are all the
same, only out of school it’s like that, in school it’s not, because in
all the laws, in everything, everyone is equal. […] when there was a
meeting with Italian and Indian parents, I asked just one question:
‘will you tell me what the problem is? That there are too many of
our children, or because they don’t know the language?’ They say
there is no separation, so why are there no Italian children in our
class? (Bolognesi, 2013, pp. 151-152).
For immigrant mothers, school represents a place of integration, a
place where they can learn Italian, and these choices made by school in-
stitutions thwart their efforts, exasperate their hopes and expectations of
access to the same educational and training opportunities as Italians, i.e.
the right to citizenship. In these contexts the teachers often support the
protest and indignation of immigrant parents as they too – in educational
terms – experience this form of institutional racism.
The relationship with teachers may on the other hand become more
complex at middle and secondary school level: dialogue becomes more
difficult as there are far fewer opportunities for direct contact. Immigrant
parents (but also Italian parents) are rarely present at class meetings or
parent-teacher conferences, and this becomes particularly visible during
the period of guidance in the choice of secondary school, a crucial cross-
roads for the future professions and possibilities for integration of “sec-
ond generation” immigrants. Numerous research works have described
the many factors involved in steering these choices; part of these focus
specifically on the characteristics of young people of foreign origin (gen-
der, ethnic origin, education and social status of the parents) while others
refer to the role played by teachers and parents (Galloni 2008; Rebecca,
2009). The lack of dialogue between school and families that is so clear
seen in these two levels of school increases the distance and ethnocentrism
of schools as well as mutual prejudices, precisely at a time when there is a
greater need for educational alliances and exchanges.
The reasons for low participation are the same as those described for
lower school levels: working hours that are incompatible with the times of
school meetings; poor Italian language skills; little understanding by the
198 Pedagogia Oggi / Rivista SIPED / anno XV – n. 1 – 2017families of the role assigned to them by the school. Set within this frame-
work, it is clear that the phase of guidance in the choice of secondary
schools lacks an essential interlocutor, the families: without the involve-
ment of the families, the teachers work directly with the students, over
whom they have particular influence. The presence of the parents would
help to balance or contrast the guidance offered by teachers who, gener-
ally, steer young second generation immigrants towards vocational or
technical schools, from which they rarely continue on to university studies
(Bonizzoni, Romito, Cavallo, 2014).
So how do second generation students learn? What are the difficulties
and strengths of the families, and particularly the mothers, involved in
supporting these students in their school paths? As described in the fol-
lowing paragraph, the educational success of students of foreign origin de-
pends on a number of factors. This paper specifically analyses the issue of
homework, as this, while obviously not the only one, is a paradigmatic as-
pect of the dialogue between teachers and parents.
3. Homework: entering the world of school learning
As we have seen, dialogue with teachers allows immigrant mothers to
come into contact with the culture of school, and particularly the world of
learning their children are immersed in: a world that is often unknown
and at times incomprehensible to them, as it is conveyed in a language
they often have a poor command of.
Homework is a paradigmatic area of the dialogue between immigrant
mothers and teachers, as it is closely linked to the educational success of
the children and the processes of integration and construction of identity
affecting all the stakeholders (mothers, teachers and children). Through
their relationship with the school, mothers have the opportunity to grow,
know their own abilities, develop their independence, even though it is
rare to see an improvement in their knowledge of the Italian language
(Modesti, 2012).
In the past few years, research in different areas has increasingly sought
to understand the link between the involvement of parents in homework
and educational success (Wingrad, Forsberg, 2007; Goodwin, 200). It has
particularly investigated the role played by parents, defined by sociologists
also as social capital, manifested through the physical presence of the par-
ents and the attention paid by adults to children when doing their home-
work (Coleman, 1988; Bassi, 2009). This area obviously represents a par-
ticularly important aspect also for pedagogical thought.
Ivana Bolognesi / Interventi e Prospettive 199So let’s try and understand what this means for immigrant mothers, the
figures who spend most time at home with their children after school.
Firstly it is worth clarifying that, for immigrant mothers, helping chil-
dren with homework may be a novelty, as in their home country they are
generally not involved in their children’s studies at home. In Italy on the
other hand, teachers generally expect parents to be involved in home-
work, or at least show an interest in the contents of the curriculum and the
activities carried out in class. The issue of homework often causes lively
debate and even conflict between schools and families, which at times may
even leave the confines of school and end up reported in the newspapers
(Corlazzoli, 201). Immigrant mothers may be penalised in the role of sup-
porting children in their homework for a number of reasons. The first is
cultural: never having seen their own parents do it, they have no idea what
to do in practical terms. The second is linguistic: mothers cannot help
their children as they have no command of written Italian, but above all
are not familiar with the language of the school subjects. The words of
some mothers cited below, the first of Moroccan origin and the second
from Bangladesh, help us to understand their point of view:
For example, if I have trouble helping my children, I pretend. I
open the books to see what homework they have to do and ask:
“what homework do you have to do?”. If it is maths, I can help
them a little, but only up to a certain point. At middle and second-
ary school I couldn’t do it (Modesti, 2012, p. 74).
We are happy with the school, the teachers, they work well, we are
happy, we have just one problem and that is the homework. It’s not
just the homework, sometimes they come to us with their school
books: mum, we’ve got to study this, can you explain what the
teacher said? And I don’t understand (Bolognesi, 2007, p. 200).
Clearly if situations like these occur repeatedly in the family’s everyday
life, it may slow the children’s learning process as the concepts learned at
school, which are then not reinforced through practice, can lead to gaps
and delays in the long term.
Obviously the central issue of the problem lies in the mothers’ poor
command of Italian. They are aware of the importance of supporting their
children in their homework, even if this is not part of their own experi-
ence, but their poor command of the written language and they are very
aware that the language of the subject matter is a real limit for them.
200 Pedagogia Oggi / Rivista SIPED / anno XV – n. 1 – 2017I can’t help her, her father can’t either, I can’t help her in anything
at all, they help us. If they study it right or wrong, we can listen but
we can’t say if it’s right. Sometimes they say: you don’t say it like
that, you have to say this, they are the ones who teach us. […] I can
help her a bit with the reading homework, I can say if it’s right or
wrong, but it’s difficult, where you have to put the article, the con-
junction, that’s a problem so I have to pay attention. […] I’m OK
with the grammar, the only thing that it very difficult for me is writ-
ing. For example, you write a sentence, but I’m afraid I will put the
verb in the wrong place. (mother from the Philippines) (Bolognesi,
2007, pp. 200-201).
The continuous and repeated dynamic that places the parent in the
role of the person who does not know puts children in a position of rela-
tional superiority, generating what Marie Rose Moro defines as “genera-
tional reversal”: the children become parents of their parents, and this cre-
ates a fracture in the educational processes and in the family balances. But
let’s see in detail how this reversal takes place.
For the child and his family, entering the world of knowledge transmit-
ted at school represents a particularly delicate step, at times a genuine mo-
ment of psychological vulnerability for the child who experiences this pe-
riod of starting school, learning a new language and different cultural ref-
erences, as a symbolic separation from his mother and his family. Becom-
ing increasingly skilled in the languages of school and school culture, the
child becomes “something else” compared to his family, as he masters all
those implicit cultural aspects which remain obscure and incomprehensi-
ble to his parents. This is why teachers use children as linguistic interme-
diaries between the school and families, leading to communicative superi-
ority which in the long term makes the relationship with their parents and
the respect for the authority of their role increasingly complex. Moro
states however that, precisely because their parents do not represent a
“guide in the outside world” for them, introducing them to reality “in
small doses”, children take on board the social rules of the host country
only superficially, as they cannot integrate these with the ethos of the
adopted culture (Moro, 2001).
The question of language also becomes a place of conflict between
mothers and teachers, when the latter suggest that they speak to their chil-
dren in Italian in order to improve their language skills.
You cannot say to me: “do not speak your own language at home be-
cause your daughter must learn Italian”. I said: “Listen, I send my
daughter to you at school here so that she can learn your language,
Ivana Bolognesi / Interventi e Prospettive 201if I have to speak Italian with her at home she will learn it worse”. I
don’t speak Italian properly, how dare you? What are your preju-
dices? You cannot look at all foreigners and mix us all up with the
word immigrant. (mother from Iran) (Bolognesi, 2007, p. 199).
The demands of the teachers contradict the role of the mother and her
values: language represents a significant part of the structure of identity of
any person, and this is even more true for those who have undertaken a
journey of migration and who live in an existential dimension of self-ex-
traneousness. (Sayad, 2002). Similar demands not only diminish the cul-
tural roots and identity of the mother and the daughter, but create a rup-
ture in the relationship between teachers and parents, undermining the
trust in the school culture and those who should represent it, the teachers.
Moreover, from the words of this woman we can see that the teachers have
little understanding of the important role played by maintaining the moth-
er tongue in learning a second language, a shortcoming that unfortunately
is still widespread in Italian schools (Bolognesi, 2013; Favaro, 2011; Pal-
lotti, 1998).
The dialogue between mothers and teachers, between schools and fam-
ilies, is at times a complex generator of conflicts and mutual misunder-
standings, at other times it is steeped in potential, as it supports not only
mutual understanding but can lead to an authentic change in which all
stakeholders make efforts to re-think themselves, their educational styles
and even their own values. Obviously the role played by teachers is deci-
sive in this relationship with the parents. To achieve mutual understanding
and a meeting point in this relationship therefore, joint dialogue, as far as
possible on equal footing, must be built, aiming at the recognition of the
other person and their differences.
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