The Toucher 2014- 2015 Club of the Year Port Noarlunga Soldier's Memorial Bowling Green Inc. Monthly Bulletin May 2021 "Home of the Gulls" - Port ...
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The
Toucher
2014- 2015
Club of the Year
Port Noarlunga Soldier’s
Memorial Bowling Green Inc.
Monthly Bulletin
May 2021
“Home of the Gulls”
2
Patron - Dennis Lynch
Board of Management 2021/2022
John Ainsworth: President
Email: jainsworth51@yahoo.com
Mobile: 0402 7162 296
Barbara Nesbitt: Secretary
Mobile: 0438 934 068
Rita Longshaw: Treasurer
Mobile: 0415 372 086
Jim Gall: Vice President (Ops)
Mobile: 0490 237 169
Christine Murray: Membership Director
Home: 8381 2510
Mobile: 0435 132 395
Joan Wilkinson: Club Functions Director
Mobile: 0413 400 910
Ian Carter: Clubhouse & Grounds
Mobile: 0422 882 787
Harvey Jolly: Bowls Director
Mobile: 0439 364 699
Steve Edwards: Sponsorship & Communication Director
Mobile: 0419 223 017
Jenny Roberts: Promotions & Fund Raising
Mobile: 0410 190 347
Peter Wallis: Member Protection & Information Officer
Mobile: 0457 678 158
Barbara Nesbitt: Chairperson of Selectors Home: 8387 6434
3
Presidents Monthly Report May 2021
Firstly I would like to The MBA has 50 clubs under its wing and
thank Peter Schwennesen each week 437 sides competing.
for his three years as Just a few updates and reminders:
President of PNBC and The new 3 year contract with D&D
also thank the other Board Curators has been signed.
members who are standing The AV upgrade is close to completion,
down Ashley Foweraker availability of parts has delayed things a
and Jenny Creamer. bit. Thanks to Harry Haffert for his
On May 3rd three new contribution towards this.
members joined the Board. Jim Gall as Vice Volunteers for the bar are still needed.
President, Christine Murray as Membership Please see Kym Johnson or Paul Stratford
Director and Jenny Roberts as Fundraising if you are interested in being trained.
Director. Please take time to look on the
notice board at the management structure and The nomination sheets for Pennants
areas of responsibility of each Board 2021/22are on the notice board. Please
member. tick the relevant boxes if you intend to
Peter Wallis has also agreed to continue in play.
his role as Member Protection and John Murray will be doing the Toucher
Information Officer. after May. Thanks to Dave Williams for
I see this year as a year of consolidation doing such a good job for 7 years.
especially financially. The club has spent a Ross Hall has stood down from the
lot of funds in recent years on club Tournament Director role. Thanks Ross
improvements including the new synthetic for doing it for the past year. I am pleased
green and the kitchen to mention just two. to announce that Ron Howard is the new
At some stage in the future the new Tournament Director. Thank you Ron.
strategic planning process will start to see We still need persons to put their names
where we visualize the years ahead. We will down for Selectors roles.
seek and will need input from members with
this. On May 21st the MBA will hold their
The new Board will continue to follow the Presentation night and we have 4
Mission Statement and enforce our Code of nominations:
Conduct for members. Club of the Year, Volunteer of the year Joan
We will be aiming to continue to increase Wilkinson, Coach of the year Tony Roberts,
our membership numbers at all levels and Administrator of the year Peter
will do our best to strengthen our Pennant Schwennesen.
teams. Good luck to our Club and the nominees.
On May 16th Barbara Nesbitt and I attended
the Metropolitan Bowls Association AGM. Finally in closing if you have any concerns
Barbara was again elected to a position on or questions please feel free to talk to me.
this Board. It is good we have a member on You can be assured I will be open and
this Board. honest.
Some of the things that came out of this
meeting—registration fees for players will John Ainsworth
remain unchanged, finals will be played in all
divisions next year, Wednesday Men’s
Pennant start time will not change, all clubs
should look at their numbers of persons
trained in First Aid.
4
5
FROM THE EDITOR
As most of you know by now, I have decided after 6 or 7 years to
cease being the Editor of the “Toucher”, and this May issue will be my
last.
I would like to thank Bryan Morden for his kind words and his
presentation to me of an Appreciation Certificate at the AGM.
I have enjoyed publishing it over the time and together with my wife
Sue we would like to thank everyone who contributed to the ”Toucher”
over the years for their jokes, stories, and regular articles from the
President, Bowls Director, Tournament reports etc.
The “Toucher” is your magazine as well as keeping you up to date with
happenings and events it also acts as a running history of the club.
The “Toucher” is now in the very capable hands of new Editor John
Murray, please give every assistance and I am sure he will continue to
produce a great club magazine.
Regards
Dave Williams
FEED BACK & SUPPORT FOR OUR SPONSORS
Our Sponsors are extremely valuable to Port Noarlunga Bowling Club.
It is very important we support them by:
1. Using their services
2. Letting them know you are from PNBC (show your membership card, or say you are
a member)
3. Let the rest of us know if you have a positive experience and real satisfaction using a
sponsor.
Please use this space in future editions of The Toucher for your comments. Send them to
the Editor for inclusion
6
embers 0% D isc ount to M 1 7
M & S Campbell Plumbers & Gas Fitters
Blocked drains—Mechanical & Hydro jet cleaning
Hot water heater—repairs & replacement all makes & models,
internal & external
Gas Appliance repair & replacement
Leaking gutters , Roof & downpipe repairs
Emergency callout Free Quotes Family owned & operated
Pensioner discount
Phone: 8327 0505 or Fax 8327 0606
Please have all items for “The Toucher” in by
Saturday. June 18th
If possible please send items as a Word Document attachment or
place written submissions in the “Toucher” box on the trading table
with all Items to have name attached.
8
9
CLUB CHAMPIONSHIPS
Mixed Pairs Presidents Handicap
Jenny Creamer & Ian Carter Anthony Moffatt v John Swarbrick
v WINNER & CLUB CHAMPION
Mannie Moffatt & Anthony Moffatt Anthony Moffatt
WINNERS AND CLUB CHAMPIONS
Mannie Moffatt & Anthony Moffatt
Presentation Night
Picture Gallery
Mens Singles Champion Ladies Singles Champion
Anthony Moffatt Karlee Moffatt
10Mens Pairs Champions Ladies Pairs Champions Mixed Pairs Champions
Syd Edwards Karlee Moffatt Anthony Moffatt
& Ron Howard & Jenny Creamer & Manee Moffatt
Mens Triples Runners Up Mens Triples Winners
Ron Gower, Derek Owen Ian Carter, Ron Stringer
& Dennis Lynch & Paul Beaumont N/P
Ladies Triples Winners Ladies Fours Winners
Julie Bannister, Barb Nesbitt Julie Bannister, Barb Nesbitt,
& Jenny Creamer Jenny Roberts, Brenda Imrie
11Open Gender Sets Play Ladies 100 UP Presidents Handicap
Winner Runner Up Winner
Anthony Moffatt Manne Moffatt Anthony Moffatt
Ladies Fours Runners Up
Zerena Gower, Ann Hall
Sue Hatton, n/p Doreen Taylor
Most Improved. Coaches Award Mens Singles
Mathew Ainsworth Runner Up
Joe Cusano
12Ladies Singles Ladies Pairs
Runner Up Runners Up
Brenda Imrie Manne Moffatt, Anda Panchawat
BLUE OPAL SINGLES
Congratulations to Antony Moffatt winning the satellite Blue Opal Singles event and
$1600 at the Lockleys Bowling Club thus gaining entry to the prestigious
Broadbeach event on the Gold Coast in June
1314
15
16
17
An Irish Priest is Transferred to
Texas.
He rose from his bed one morning. It
was a fine spring day in his new Texas
mission parish. He walked to the
window of his bedroom to get a deep
breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass
lying dead in the middle of his front
lawn. He promptly called the local
police station. The conversation went
like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones.
How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day to yourself.
This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann's
Catholic Church.
There's a jackass lying dead in me
front lawn and would ye be so kind as
to send a couple o' yer lads to take
How to start a fight care of the matter."
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly Sergeant Jones, considering himself to
dressed , made my lunch and slipped be quite a wit and recognizing the
quietly into the garage. I hooked up the accent, thought he would have a little
boat to the van and proceeded to back fun with the good father, replied,
out into a torrential downpour. The wind "Well now Father, it was always my
was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into impression that you people took care
the garage, turn on the radio, and dis- of the last rites."
covered the weather would be bad all There was dead silence on the line for
day. a long moment.
I went back into the house, quietly
undressed and slid back into bed. I Then, Father O'Malley replied, "Aye,
cuddled up to my wife’s back now with a 'tis certainly true; but we are also
different anticipation, and whispered, obliged to notify the next of kin first,
“The weather out there is terrible,” which is the reason for me call
My loving wife of 5 years replied,
“And can you believe that my stupid Jake was dying. His wife sat at the
husband is out fishing in it?” bedside. He looked up and said weakly:
And that’s how the fight started. "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to, "his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in
Did you know. peace. I slept with your sister, your
That if you multiply 111,111,111 by best friend, her best friend, and your
111,111,111, the answer is mother!"
12345678987654321 "I know," she replied, "now just rest
and let the poison work."
18While stitching a cut on the hand of a An elderly man walked into a waiting
75 year old farmer, whose hand was room and approached the desk. The
caught in the squeeze gate while Receptionist said, “Yes sir, how may I
working cattle, the doctor struck up a help you?” “There’s something wrong
conversation with the old man. with my dick”, he replied.
Eventually the topic got around to The Receptionist became irritated
politicians and their role as our leaders. and said, “You shouldn’t come into a
The old rancher said, "Well, as I see it, waiting room and say things like that.”
most politicians are 'Post Turtles'.''
Not being familiar with the term, the “Why not? You asked me what was
doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' wrong and I told you,” he said.
was. The Receptionist replied; “You should
The old rancher said, "When you're have said there is something wrong
driving down a country road and you with your ear or something and dis-
come across a fence post with a turtle cussed the problem further with the
balanced on top, that's a post turtle." Doctor in private.”
The old farmer saw the puzzled look on The man replied, “You shouldn’t ask
the doctor's face so he continued to people questions in a room full of
explain. strangers, if the answer could embar-
rass anyone.”
"You know he didn't get up there by
himself, he doesn't belong up there, he The man walked out, waited several
doesn't know what to do while he's up minutes and then re-entered.
there, he's elevated beyond his ability The Receptionist smiled smugly and
to function, and you just wonder what asked, “Yes?”
kind of dumb ass put him up there to
begin with." “There’s something wrong with my
ear”, he stated.
Best explanation of a politician I've
ever heard. The Receptionist nodded approvingly
and smiled, knowing he had taken her
advice. “And what is wrong with your
Little eight-year-old Nancy was in the ear, Sir?”
garden filling in a hole when her neigh- “I can’t p*ss out of it,” he replied.
bor peered over the fence. This kid
was always good for a laugh. Interest- The waiting room howled with laughter.
ed in what the cheeky-faced youngster
was doing, he asked, "What are you
doing there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," Nancy sobbed,
"and I've just buried him."
The obnoxious neighbor laughed and
said condescendingly, "That's a really
big hole for a little Goldfish, don't you
think?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of
earth with her shovel and replied,
"That's because he's inside your cat."
19SOCIAL BOWLS
17th April 2021 Triples 36 Bowlers
W/W P Wallis, B Sachse, J Hatton.
W/L J Kent, J Wilkinson, R Hall.
Organised By: Joan Wilkinson
24th April 2021 Triples 48 Bowlers
W/W Anda, R. Dunk, I. Carter
W/L C Moody, R Longshaw, M Lane
Organised By: Joan Wilkinson
1st May 2021 Pairs & Triples 41 Bowlers
W/W J Jones, D Bannister, J Wilkinson
W/L B Symons, P Wallis, R Treloar.
Organised By: Barb Nesbitt & Joan Wilkinson
15th May 2021 Pairs & Triples 37 Bowlers
W/W B Symons, R Longshaw, A Smith
W/L M Ainsworth, D Owen
Organised By: Barb Nesbitt & Joan Wilkinson
18th May 2021 Pairs & Triples 15 Bowlers
W/W JJ Jones, J Hodson, R Stringer
W/L Steve Edwards, R Longshaw, V Jacobs
Organised By: Barb Nesbitt
22nd May 2021 Pairs &Triples 53: Bowlers
W/W M Ainsworth, F Ivison, J Ainsworth
W/L M Maskell P Heher, A Smith
Organised By: Barb Nesbitt & Joan Wilkinson
Russell stakes his claim.
Keep off the grass !!
20THURSDAY NOMINATED PAIRS
22nd April 2021 PAIRS 60 Bowlers
W/W John Braddick & Ron Stringer
W/L Hodge & Bill
Organised By: Ron Howard
Bill & Cheryl: Nil Score
Sorry
29th April 2021 PAIRS 80 Bowlers
W/W 1st Alan Love & Syd Edwards
W/W 2nd Dennis Hilder & Ian Lane
W/L 1st Kelly Smith & Jenny Creamer
W/L 2nd John Braddick & Ron Stringer
Organised By: Ron Howard
6th May 2021 PAIRS 68 Bowlers
W/W 1st Glen & Gina Gordon
W/W 2nd Pauline Veck & Lyn Butler
W/L 1st L Hodges & N Jackson
W/L 2nd I Carter & J Warner
Organised By: Ross Hall
13th May 2021 PAIRS 62 Bowlers
W/W Jim Kent & Frank Romeo
W/L Petr Schwennesen & John Warner
Organised By: Ron Howard
20th May 2021 PAIRS 84 Bowlers
W/W 1st Pauline Veck & Hillary Phillips
W/W 2nd Peter Wallis & Syd Edwards
W/L 1st Paul Stratford & Ryan Stratford
W/L 2nd Colin moody & Geoff smith
Organised By: Ron Howard
2122
222 SEAFORD ROAD, SEAFORD SA 5169
23It is with sadness that we heard of the
Passing on 6th May 2021
Port Noarlunga Bowling Club Life Member
Ron Westburgh
Our condolences go out to Ron’s Family
At this sad time
Max will be missed and remembered
By all at the Club
SOUTH COAST FOLK CLUB - meets every Thursday
night at the Port Noarlunga Bowling Club from 7.30 till late
2425
26
A few brain Teasers
The following images form common
Words & phrases. Can you decipher
them?
1.
right = right
2.
eye e
see except
3.
Sudoku Easy
DO(12”)OR
4.
VIT_MAN
Answers on page 30
27Supporting our Sponsor’s
Members please support our Sponsors and use their services whenever
possible, tell them you are from the Port Noarlunga Bowling Club for
preferential service and prices.
Remember that it is their support that helps make our Club successful
too.
28Shop 1/42 Acre Avenue, Morphett Vale SA 5162
Phone: 08 8186 0288
www.floreatnaturaltherapies.com
29Bowls Merchandise For Sale Behind The Bar
Bull Grip $7.50 Hand Warmers (2) pkt $2.00
Grippo $7.00 Lilac Spray Chalk $10.00
Wilgrip $6.00 Crack-a-Jack-Polish $9.00
Club Badges $6.00 Chill Towels $20.00
Food & Nibbles
Cheese & Crackers $2.00
Cheese, Salami & Crackers $3.00
Pies and Sausage Rolls $3.00
Answers to Brain Teasers
Sudoku
Decipher them:
1. Equal rights.
2. Eye (i) before E except after c
3. One foot in the door.
4. Vitamin A deficiency.
Jumble Word:
Jumbo, Douse, Pretty, Pencil.
Booted it up.
30Friday Night Dinner Roster - Dishwasher Volunteers
30th April JJ Jones Chris Burton
14th May Dave Williams Alan Smith
28th May Ron Howard John Jones
11th June Jim Kent Trevor Pitman
25th June Martin Sutherland
9th July JJ Jones Jim Kent
23rd July P Wallis George Dunn
6th Aug Roy Patmore Ron Howard
20th Aug Mel Lane Kath Lane
4th Sept Roy Patmore Ron Howard
NOTE: IF YOU ARE UNABLE ON THE DATE SHOWN CAN
YOU PLEASE ARRANGE TO SWAP WITH SOMEONE OR GET
A REPLACEMENT
PLEASE !! We need more members to volunteer on these
Friday nights for Dishwashers. It’s not hard graft and you get a
free meal for your efforts. Please add your name to the list.
If we fill the list it would mean doing it just once per year.
PLEASE ADD YOUR NAME BELOW IF YOU ARE ABLE TO
ASSIST:
……………………… ……………………… ..……………………
……………………… ………………………. …………………….
31HONE YOUR SKILLS
WANTED
A set of Dreamline XG
Bowls Either Size 2
or 2 Heavy
Contact: Lynn Butler.
Mobile: 0410 135 701
32For Sale
Recycle Your Electrical appliances:
Working or not:
TV’s, Fridges, Vacuum Cleaners, Etc
Then please contact:
Contact: Ron Howard Phone: 0417 898 528
Email: hrhoward21@gmail.com
33http://www.becksbakehouse.com.au/
34This Months Recipe
Salami and Mushroom Pizza
SERVES: 4
Prep Time: 25 min
Cook Time: 35 min
Difficulty: Easy
Method
Preheat oven to 220C. Place tomatoes, oregano
Ingredients and sugar in a saucepan over a medium-low heat
400g can chopped tomatoes. Simmer for 15 minutes or until reduced. Transfer
1 tsp dried oregano. to a food processor and whiz to a puree. Leave to
Pinch of sugar. cool slightly.
For the dough, place yeast, sugar and 1 cup
100g mushrooms.
(250ml ) lukewarm water in a bowl, hen stir to
100g thinly sliced Italian-style combine. Leave in a warm place for 10 minutes
salami. or until frothy. Sift flour into a large bowl, then
1/4 red onion, thinly sliced. stir in the semolina and 11/2 tsp salt. Add yeast
2 cups (200g) grated mozzarella. mixture and oil, and stir to combine. Using your
hands, bring mixture together. Turn dough out
PIZZA DOUGH onto a floured surface and knead for 5 minutes or
7g sachet dried instant yeast. until smooth and elastic..
1 1/4 tsp caster sugar. Grease 2 large baking trays. Divide dough into 4
portions. Dust the work surface with semolina
450g strong ( bakers ) flour. and roll out 2 portions of dough to form 30cm
50g fine semolina, plus extra circles. Place one pizza base on each tray.
dust. Spread half the sauce over the bases, then top
11/2 tbs olive oil. with one-quarter of the mushroom, salami, red
onion and cheese. Bake for 10-12 minutes until
the dough bubbles, the edges are crisp and the
cheese has melted. Repeat with remaining dough
and toppings, then serve immediately.
35Draw No Winning No’s Winner
83 ? Gina Gordon
84 8 Carol Barker
Supporting Our Sponsors
Members please support our Sponsors and use their services
whenever possible.
Tell them you are from the Port Noarlunga Bowling Club
for preferential service and prices.
36For Sale
Men’s Pennant Pull on Trousers size XL $40.00
Ladies Size 14 Pennant Shirt 2nd hand $35.00
Ladies Size 10 Blue club shirt 2nd hand $20.00
CLEARANCE SALE
Club Uniforms
Three pairs only size 82
NEW - Pull-On Trousers (Black) ............. $40
37INFORMATION SHEET
Before Deciding Which
Membership Category
To Join
Social Member - $30 per year:
Entitles you to all non-bowling activities organised by PNBC – this includes fashion events,
wine tastings, mock horse racing nights, bingo, Christmas raffles etc. Outings outside of the
club house such as Casino trips, leisurely walks.
The right to entertain up to 5 guests per social member (limit set by our liquor licence) at the
club where you will enjoy very competitive bar prices in our relaxed and friendly club rooms.
Access to music evenings every Thursday which are conducted by our friends: The South
Coast Folk Club.
Access to our bi-weekly Friday Member’s Dinner where a very affordable 2 course meal is
available, it also entitles you to our Member’s Draw at these dinners, but you must be in
attendance to collect the winnings.
Discounts by our Sponsors upon notifying them of your membership at PNBC
Receipt of our Monthly magazine “The Toucher” which will keep you informed of what is
happening in and around the club.
Being a Social member DOES NOT allow you to participate in our weekly social games,
pennant sides or championships.
Associate Member - $100 per year:
You are entitled to all club facilities, playing in social games at PNBC only and if desired
play up to 3 pennant games in any one pennant season (then a fee would be incurred to
update your membership)
Full Member - $110 for 1st year, $200 for 2nd year:
You would be entitled to participate in all social, pennant, championship games, visiting
other clubs to play tournaments or gala days, all Bowls SA and Bowls Australia events.
Night Owl Member - $15 Administration Fee:
Limits you to only play night owls upon payment of the administration fee $15.00, limited
social games and three (3) pennant games in the current season, if called upon. The player
may then continue to participate in pennant and social games and receive all benefits of Full
registration upon payment of the balance of the fee required for the relevant category of
membership
Junior/ Student Member (bowler) - $30 per year:
Social Member (non bowler) - $30 per year:
3839
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