Parental alienation: Psychological distress and mental health - Male Psychology Conference - Male Psychology Network
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Parental alienation:
Psychological distress and mental health
Male Psychology Conference
24th June 2017
Dr Sue Whitcombe, Chartered Psychologist, AFPBsS
HCPC registered counselling psychologist
Overview • Mental Health and ACEs • Parental alienation • a child welfare issue, prevalence and outcomes • key signs, symptoms, behaviours • contributory factors • Evidence from practise • Parental alienation in the UK
Mental health and ACEs • Mental health problems are one of the main causes of the overall disease burden worldwide • 10% of children and young people (aged 5-16 years) have a clinically diagnosable mental health problem • 70% of children and adolescents who experience mental health problems have not had appropriate early intervention • 50% of mental health problems are established by age 14 and 75% by age 24
Mental health and ACEs • Adverse Childhood Experiences include experiencing all types of abuse; living in a home where there is parental conflict, domestic violence, alcohol or drug abuse; parental separation • Number of ACEs strongly associated with adult high-risk health behaviours - smoking, alcohol and drug abuse, promiscuity and severe obesity, and correlated with ill-health including depression, heart disease, cancer and shortened lifespan • ACE score above six is associated with a 30-fold increase in attempted suicide
What is parental alienation? • Implacable hostility • Hostile Aggressive Parenting (HAP) • Intractable contact dispute • Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) • Resist/refuse dynamic • Pathogenic parenting • Attachment Based-Parental Alienation (AB-PA)
What is parental alienation? Unjustified or unwarranted rejection of a parent where there was previously a normal range, loving, good enough relationship Intentional or unintentional actions by a parent (usually PWC) to turn their child against the other parent (usually a NRP)
What is parental alienation? Family system under stress: the child feels a loyalty conflict, unwittingly co-opted into an unhealthy cross-generational coalition with one parent, or empowered or elevated to the role of decision maker in perverse triangulation, parentification or adultification processes
What is parental alienation? Over time, the child becomes hostile, vitriolic and abusive, before usually rejecting the parent and refusing contact
What is parental alienation? Rejecting a parent • Children are wired to attach to their parents and caregivers – even if they are neglectful or abusive • Children who have experienced neglect or abuse still crave a relationship with their parent or caregiver • It is unusual for a child, particularly a pre-adolescent, to actively reject a parent or caregiver • Rejection is a sign of underlying psychological distress, most likely a sign of alienation
What is parental alienation? Defence mechanism: • Children unable to deal with hostility and conflict between parents, experience cognitive dissonance and psychological distress • Feel forced (usually unconsciously) to choose between parents, minimise distress by rejecting the least vulnerable or least fearsome parent • Splitting defence - one parent is all good, and the other is all bad, unable to manage the reality that there is good and bad in both
What is parental alienation? Child Psychological Abuse 995.51 “nonaccidental verbal or symbolic acts by a child’s parent or caregiver that result, or have the potential to result, in significant psychological harm to the child. Examples include […] harming/abandoning – or indicating that the offender will harm/abandon – people or things that the child cares about”
What is parental alienation?
• Parental alienation is not a child arrangements issue
• Parental alienation is a child welfare issue
• Alienated children experience ACEs – parental conflict,
parental separation, exposure to DV, emotional and
psychological abuse
• Parental alienation results in psychological distress and
emotional harmParental alienation - outcomes Short-term children may appear to function reasonably well in their day to day lives. However: • There can be a restricted number of personal relationships and friendships • Cognitive functioning can be impaired – reality testing, critical evaluation and black and white thinking • Suppressed and repressed memories, feelings and experiences can lead to anxiety, anger, aggression, social withdrawal
Parental alienation - outcomes Life-long effects include depression, substance abuse, damaged self-esteem, personality and identity issues, enduring relationship issues (Baker, 2005; Ben Ami & Baker, 2012; Bernet, Baker & Verrocchio, 2015 ) Later recognition that they excluded a loving, caring parent from their life may cause irreversible damage to relationship with the alienating parent
Parental alienation - prevalence • Data variable- issues with samples and definitions • 10-15% in community samples 20-40% in high conflict samples • Most common in high conflict separated families though does occur in intact families • Gender of children not significant • (N=610) randomly selected population of adults in USA. 13.4% of parents have been alienated from one or more of their children; much higher than previous estimates. Findings show evidence of parental alienation across all socio-economic and demographic indicators (Harman, Leder-Elder & Biringen, 2016)
Parental alienation - prevalence July 2016, Sarah Parsons, Principal Social Worker and Assistant Director of Cafcass, stated that “parental alienation is responsible for around 80% of the most intransigent cases that come before the family courts”. ??? How many intransigent cases? Extrapolating from overseas studies – parental alienation is likely to be a feature in a minimum of 9,000 family proceeding applications per annum involving more than 18,000 children
Signs and symptoms in the child
1. A campaign of denigration / or extreme anxiety
2. Weak, absurd, or frivolous rationalizations for the criticism
3. Lack of ambivalence
4. The "independent-thinker" phenomenon
5. Reflexive support of the alienating parent
6. Absence of guilt over cruelty to the alienated parent
7. The presence of borrowed scenarios
8. Spread of the animosity to the friends and/or extended
family of the alienated parentA campaign of denigration or extreme anxiety • Hostile and abusive • Physically resisting contact • Rejecting phone calls, letters, emails and gifts and expressing hatred
A campaign of denigration or extreme anxiety Helen’s expressed fear of her father is a key feature of her narrative. She has not seen her father for three years, yet he lives within half a mile of her home. Helen expresses hypervigilance and hyperarousal, avoiding normal activities and adjusting her life to minimise the likelihood of encountering her father. Helen’s fear and anxiety seem disproportionate to the actual risk her father poses to her. Both Helen and her mother referred to Helen and Liam being so frightened that their teeth chattered.
Weak, absurd, or frivolous rationalizations for the criticism
Lack of ambivalence - cannot acknowledge any good aspects of the rejected parent “all bad” – black and white thinking I asked Jack to tell me all the things that he liked about mum. […] He wrote kind then nice. I asked Jack what he meant by nice and he wrote hugs me; she always bes nice. I asked Jack to tell me what he liked about his father. He was unable to say anything at all positive. I asked Jack what he didn’t like about his mother and he said nothing. When I asked Jack what he didn’t like about his father he wrote everything. Child aged 7, no contact for 3 years
The "independent-thinker" phenomenon I asked Molly to tell me the best bits about daddy. Her response is “When we don’t have to see him. Cos I don’t like seeing him and I always find a way to get out of seeing him.” I asked how Molly got out of seeing her father. “By pretending to be sick. I am actually sick sometimes.”
Reflexive support of the alienating parent Child and parent are enmeshed – an overly dependent relationship, best friends, child can see no fault in parent
Absence of guilt over cruelty to the alienated parent “Now, I definitely don’t want to see him at all. There is no emotion or purpose in his letters, they make me bored. It is pointless him sending them in the first place. He needs a job; he never has any money. Arfan said that his father had “squandered his chances” and he “had given up on him.”
The presence of borrowed scenarios
Molly told me that mammy gets upset because of what happened when
they were little. I asked what had happened when she was little. Molly
told me that she was three, and didn’t really remember what had
happened. She then became quite animated, almost excited. “He threw
me down the stairs, that’s what I remember. I was asleep. He carried
me onto the landing and threw me down the stairs. I woke up when I
was rolling down the stairs, doing a roly poly. I did a cartwheel.”
Molly age 8, no unsupervised contact with father since aged 2½, minimal direct contact for 5 years, no
indirect contactSpread of the animosity to the friends and/or extended
family of the alienated parent
I showed Jamie a photo of him with his
Bampi (Andy’s father, Jim) together in
Andy’s van. I asked who it was. Jamie
responded “me with a dick.”Alienating behaviours The Baker Strategy Questionnaire - BSQ Bernet, W., Baker, A. J. L. & Verrocchio, M. C. (2015). Symptom Checklist-90-Revised Scores in Adult Children Exposed to Alienating Behaviors: An Italian Sample. Journal of Forensic Sciences, 60(2), 357-362. Harman, J. J., Biringen, Z., Ratajack, E. M., Outland, P. L., & Kraus, A. (2016). Parents behaving badly : gender biases in the perception of parental alienating behaviors. Journal of Family Psychology, 30(7), 866–874.
Alienating behaviours
Gatekeeping
Eradicating
Adultification
/ emotional
manipulationAlienating behaviours
• Frustrates, prevents or interferes with time
with other parent
• Blocks phone messages or doesn’t pass on
letters, cards or gifts
• Made it difficult for child and parent to
communicate – text, telephone, Skype
• Makes child feel bad about spending time
with other parent’s family or stops them from
doing soAlienating behaviours
• Seems unhappy or annoyed when child speaks about
or asks for photographs
• Talks to child about the court case, family finances,
adult relationships or other “adult” issues
• Makes negative comments or rarely makes positive
ones
• Becomes upset, annoyed or ignores child when show
affection for parent or speaks positively about them
• Says or suggests parents don’t love childAlienating behaviours
• Tries to make child choose between them
• Says or suggests parent is dangerous or unsafe
• Asks child to “spy” on parent or find out
information and report back
• Creates situations which would likely make child
feel angry or upset with parent
• Tries to turn child against dad/mumAlienating behaviours
• Asks child to keep “secrets” – such as plans for
holidays, parties, school events
• Calls dad/mum by their first name and expects
child to do so also
• Refers to new partner as “dad” or “mum” and
expects child to do so
• Encourages child to value their opinion and rely
on them above everyone else
• Encourages child to ignore other parent’s rules,
values or authorityParental alienation False allegations
Parental alienation and false allegations Q Methodology study (n=54; M=47, F=7) • 94% family proceedings • 70% former partner repeatedly broke orders • 78% currently had no direct contact • 56% had not seen child in the last year
Parental alienation and false allegations
Have you been subject to false allegations of DV against
your partner?
Yes= 36 (67%) No=18 (33%)
Have you been subject to false allegations of child abuse?
Yes= 44 (81%) No=10 (19%)Parental alienation – contributory factors • Duration of no parent-child contact • Geographical distance • Involvement of the legal profession and mental health professionals who have insufficient knowledge • Engagement with therapeutic support and agencies who hold one-sided, subjective, background information (collusion) • Co-existent domestic violence
Parental alienation – evidence from practice • Failure to recognise when alienation may be a factor – lack of knowledge in law, health, social care and education • Assumptions that child behaviours indicate exposure to abuse or violence • Laissez faire and short termism – when a child appears to be functioning well
Parental alienation – evidence from practice • Lack of consistency between Courts, Cafcass practitioners and Children’s Services • Delays in the Court process • Lack of training in parental alienation • Lack of available interventions in the UK • Gender bias – DV, parenting, Children’s Services, Cafcass, Courts
Parental alienation – the UK
My daughter is only 13 months old. CAFCASS initially said that she
was too young to experience any emotional/psychological
problems, including parental alienation, and contact with her
father (me) was not important until the age of 4. This was
essentially overturned in court and there is now a suggestion that
my daughter has suffered harm through either poor contact
quality and lack of contact.
Research participantParental alienation in the UK • July 2016, Sarah Parsons, Principal Social Worker and Assistant Director of Cafcass, stated that “parental alienation is responsible for around 80% of the most intransigent cases that come before the family courts”. • February 2017 Cafcass CEO, Sir Anthony Douglas, determined that parental alienation is “undoubtedly a form of neglect or child abuse”. • Both have asserted, as have the Welsh Government, that all front- line practitioners are trained to recognise the issue and its impact on the child.
Parental alienation in the UK • More awareness, particularly among some Court appointed Guardians and family solicitors. • Still far, far away from a universal recognition and understanding • Need for policies that recognise a child has two parents and require inclusion of both parents • Sir James Munby, President of the Family Division, March 2017, lack of headway in dealing with cases involving parental alienation since he commented on the same back in 2004 ([2004] EWHC 727 (Fam)) • Research, analysis of cases non-existent
Mental health, ACEs and parental alienation • Children experience ACEs • Do not meet threshold for diagnosis or involvement of Local Authority YET • Use of a maladaptive coping strategy fails to prevent symptoms surfacing in medium-long term and likely contributes to a difficult personality presentation and a repeating transgenerational problem • Failure to offer early intervention leads to mental illness and distress
Parental alienation – screening
• Signs and symptoms in the child
• Adult behaviours
• “False” allegationsParental alienation - Early interventions
• Maintain direct contact
• Reduce opportunities for inter-parental conflict
• Minimise transitions
• Psycho education for parents
• Strategy and resilience building for children
• Enforce court orders, swiftly
• Share objective information, court orders and
judgements with education and health serviceParental alienation – Assessment
What are we assessing?
The child’s apparent rejection of a parent
Is it alienation or justified rejection/estrangement?
If alienation, is it:
mild, moderate, severe
hybrid or pure
conscious or unconscious
Is there any underlying psychopathology?
Is the child experiencing (or at risk of) significant harm?Parental alienation - assessment • Clinical interview • Chronology – subjective and • Observation independent • Discussions with agencies, • Psychometrics services and practitioners • Projective techniques • Discussion with key family • Medical records members • Police records • Family history • Social services records • Use of photographs and videos • Court paperwork
Parental alienation - interventions
There is no one size fits all, off the shelf,
magic solution!!
Essential that therapist is fully understanding of alienation
and has sight of assessment and psychological reports.
Essential that intervention is based on a holistic assessment
and addresses the underlying causes and current
presentation.Parental alienation Therapeutic modalities and strategies • Family systems approach • Structural, functional and strategic family therapy • Brief solution focused therapy • Narrative therapy • CBT • Parent-child interactive therapy • Psychoeducation
Parental alienation
Specific interventions, protocols and approaches (Fidler, Bala &
Saini, 2012; Baker & Sauber, 2013)
• Cognitive Behavior Desensitization using a one-way mirror
(Weitzman, 2004)
• Model for Reconnection (Freeman, 2008)
• Family Restructuring Therapy (Carter, Haave & Vandersteen, 2006)
• Multi-Modal Family Intervention (MMFI) (Friedlander & Walters, 2010)
• Overcoming Barriers (Sullivan, Ward & Deutsch, 2008)
• Family Bridges (Warshak, 2008)
• Family Reflections (Reay, 2015)
• UK – Dejong & Davies (2013); mentalisation approaches; IFT; SSoPAParental alienation
No intervention
• Paramountcy principle
• Therapeutic letter
• Therapy and support for alienated parents
• Therapy with adult alienated childrenThank you for listening Dr Sue Whitcombe, Chartered Psychologist sue.whitcombe@familypsychologysolutions.org www.familypsychologysolutions.org
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