March 2021 Published for the Most Beautiful Girls In The World - Rachel's Place
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1 The Pretty T Girls Magazine Published for the Most Beautiful Girls In The World A publication of the Pretty T Girls io Group March 2021
2 The Pretty T Girls Magazine Published for the Most Beautiful Girls In The World A publication of the Pretty T Girls io Group March 2021
3 In This Issue PAGE Barbara Jean Update On My Health 4 7 Transgender People from History 5 Former WWE Superstar Gabi Tuft Comes Out As Transgender 10 AETNA Expands Gender Affirming Surgery For Transwomen 12 Sehnsucht 13 Trace Lysette Tells Why TG Actors Should Get First Dibs At TG Roles 15 Bluestocking Blue 16 Kandi’s Land 19 Marie’s Memories 21 The Adventures of Judy Sometimes 25 Ask Hannah 26 Mellissa’s Tips & Tricks 28 6 Trendy Lipstick Tips for Older Women 34 How To Get The Best Eyebrow Shape For Your Face 35 Low Cost Makeup That Beats Luxury Brands 37 The Right Way To Apply Beauty Products 43 Humor 46 Angels In The Centerfold 47 10 Beauty & Style Changes To Expect In 2021 49 Diana Pemberton 53 10 Accessories That Work With Any Outfit 57 Inexpensive Extenders To Make Your Bra More Comfortable 62 Lucille Sorella 64 From The Kitchen 71 How To Cook Pork Chops Without Drying Them Out 76 The Gossip Fence 79 Calendar 93
4 Update on My Health By: Barbara Jean I know that a number of you girls have been wondering about my health. In November of 2019 a nodule was discovered on my left lung. A follow-up CT scan showed it was still there and had not changed in size. The Thoracic Doctor who viewed the CT scan Said that she wanted a needle biopsy on that nodule. She also did not like the sound of a cough I had and ordered me to have an echocardiogram on my heart. End results as of the end of June of 2020 a valve in my heart was not opening very much and I was in need of heart surgery. The biopsy did not get enough tissue for a definitive results, but it was suspected to be cancer. Another biopsy would be needed to get a definitive answer, however due to the heart surgery done in June it would be at least 5 months before another biopsy could be performed. End of November of 2020 a second biopsy was performed and it was a definitive answer of being cancer. One oncologist has declared it stage 4, the area is too large for radiation treatment and so chemotherapy was recommended. I will start that on February 24th. The prognosis on how long a life I have is unclear. Without treatment the doctor said I might have 6 months or a year, maybe more. With treatment I might get an additional 3 to 6 months. As I indicated earlier I will start chemotherapy on February 24th with one treatment every 3 weeks for 3 months. Then another CT scan will determine if the treatment was successful and if a second round would be called for. End results as for the group and the magazine, well I have appointed Alexis Taylor and Leighann Allen as moderators and if the time comes I will transfer ownership of the group to them. As for the magazine, well unless someone else decides to take over the job of publishing it, sadly it would be brought to an end. I do ask for prayers and I promise to keep everyone informed as to how things progress with me. Barbara Jean
5 7 Famous Transgender People From History You Can Mention Next Time Someone Says ‘Trans is a Trend’ The famous transgende r peo ple fea tu red i n this lis t a re fea tu red because the y made a stir, in one wa y o r a nothe r. Ama zing trans people ha ve e xisted probab l y as long as human societies ha ve e xis ted. Onl y i ts no t alwa ys something tha t w e find ou t abou t, being as i ts no t rea ll y an yon e's business but their own .
6 Unfortuna tel y, o r fortuna tel y, the onl y ones we can remember a re the ones who came out or were ou ted , th is list con tains a small number of these ba d-ass people who pro ve tha t trans isn't a tre nd. Trigge r warning : Some of the source material con tains trigge ring language . Histo ry and historians themselves can be qui te transphobic. The oldest en try on this list, Elean or R ykener. Reco rds e xis t for this El eanor from 625 years ago bu t i ts no t clear when she w as born. In 1394 , she was arrested in London for prostitu tion and sodomy. There is no t a lot o f in formation abo ut he r since she li ved such a long time ago , but this is what we do know : She p resented female and wo rked as an embroide rer and a barmaid (typ icall y on l y jobs held b y women) as wel l as a se x worker. She had relationships with men a nd women , but mostl y men. 1. Eleanor Rykene r Eleanor’s i denti ty has been erased or ca tegorised b y cis /he t historians who refe r to he r male name being used o n some co urt documents. As i f medieval cou rt clerks are ab ove d ead-naming . These boneh eads claim tha t she was a straigh t man who cross-dressed for wo rk. The mind boggles at how the y can reach tha t conclusion when she clearl y was no t cis and presen ted female for the trial (and her li fe). So in the interests o f un-e rasure she tops ou r lis t, and yo u should spread the wo rd abou t he r too . Al an L . Hart was a pionee ring radio logist, ph ysi cian and tuberculosis research er. His grea test work was arguabl y when he d isco vered tha t x-ra ys could be used to de tect tuberculosis, sa ving cou ntless li ves worldw ide. He a tte nded medical school whil e p resenting female bu t tran - sitioned soon afte r. While working as a doctor a t at a hospital in Oreg on he was recognised b y one of his fo rmer classmates who ou ted him and he was forced to lea ve . This was no t the onl y time this happened to Alan , and i t 2. Alan L. Ha rt began to ta ke its tol l on him. Wri ting in his no vel The Undaun ted abou t a cha racter ca lled Sand y Farquhar, he wro te : "He had been dri ven from place to place , from job to job , for fi fteen years because of
7 something he could no t alter an y more th an he could change the colo r of his e yes. Gossip, scandal , rumor alwa ys dro ve him on ." He was also one of the fi rst re corded trans men to recei ve g ender a ffirming surge ry in the US. Lucy Hicks Ande rson was on e o f the earliest recorde d demonstrato rs for marriage equa lity. She was born in 1886 in Ken tucky. As a young child she told her pa ren ts she wan ted to be a gi rl and go b y Lucy. The y took he r to the famil y docto r w ho told them to respect her choices and so she transitione d wi th their full support. When she was old er she mo ved to Cali fornia a nd married a man called Clare nce Hicks and the y opera ted a bro thel toge ther. The y di vo rced in 1929 and she la ter married a soldier called Rueben Ande rson who was sta tioned a t Mi tche l Field on 3. Lucy Hicks Ande rson Long Island, New Yo rk. Perjury charges were b rough t ag ainst her beca use she signed the marri age d ocument which swore tha t the re were ‘no legal obje cti ons’ to the marriag e. Sp eaking to the p ress she said “I defy an y docto r in the world to pro ve tha t I am not a woman. I ha ve li ve d, dressed, acted just wha t I am, a woman.” Sadl y she was found guil ty o f pe rjury and l ate r she was con victed of fraud be cause she cashed cheques she recei ved from the go vernment as the wi fe of a US soldier. Charle y Pa rkhu rst, also known as One -Eye d- Charle y was a famous American Ran cher in the 1800s. He was bo rn and raised i n an o rphanage in New Eng land but he ra n awa y and changed his name befo re he tu rned 18. As many aspira tional Ameri cans did , he followed the Gol d Rush ou t West and buil t a repu ta tion as one o f the g reatest s tage coach d ri ve rs runni ng over Mt. Madonna on the West Coast. He gained his ni ckname 'One -Eye d-Cha rle y' afte r he was kicke d in the le ft e ye b y a horse tha t had 4. Cha rley Pa rkhu rst been sta rtl ed b y a ra ttlesnake . Charle y was onl y oute d a fter his de ath .
8 Sir Lad y Ja va who 's still acti ve toda y, rose to fame in the 1960’s as an en te rtain er and e xo tic dan cer renowned fo r her perfe ct hou rglass shape. Born in 1943 she transitio ned at an earl y age with the support of he r mo ther and began dan cing and singing in loca l ni ghtclubs. In he r twe nties she mo ved to Los An geles and became associated wi th s tars li ke Redd Fo xx, Sammy Da vis Jr. and R icha rd Pryor. She was performing at Redd Fo xx’s famous club and 5. Sir Lady Java it’s rumoure d tha t her and Da vis Jr. were a co uple fo r a while. In 1967 the L APD began shutting down Ja va’s famous performances ci ting a local law prohibi ting "impersona tion, b y means o f costume or dress, a p erson o f the o pposite sex.” In response she pi cke ted the club and hired the American Ci vil Liberties U nion to overturn the ruling . Eventuall y i t w as o ve rtu rned in 1969 a fte r a separa te dispute wi th another pa rty bu t she was instrumental in this change . Che valier d’ Eon was an 18th cen tury, Fren ch sp y, diplomat and soldier. She had the genius idea to disguise her transgender iden ti ty, b y coming ou t as transgender… Bear wi th us it will make sense soon. In 1728 D'Éon was born a the Hôtel d 'U zès in To nnerre, Burgund y, into a poor noble famil y. Assigned male at bi rth she e xce lled at school and in her milita ry training and moved to Paris a t an earl y age. By 35 she had been knigh ted and gained a law deg ree, publ ished books 6. Che valie r d’Eon on the French ta x s ystem and be come a celeb ra ted fen cer. Following this she jo ined the Secre t du Roi , the secre t ne twork of the kings spies and reported dire ctl y to Louis XV. After years o f service, she was passed o ver for a promo tion so she published a tell all book o f the secre ts o f the kings spies.
9 In her la ter yea rs she app lied to be assigned female a t birth , s tatin g she was assigned male onl y to ensure she wo uld i nheri t th e famil y esta te . This genius ruse paid o ff and w as accepted b y the Fren ch and the Bri tish go vernment - she was li ving in London a t th e time. Her gen der was made o ffici al an d she li ved he r remaining years 3 3 years completel y free to be herself. Oh and she was still a badass fen cer too . Willmer ‘Little Ax’ was a talen ted g ospel qua rte t singer in th e 20 th ce ntu ry. He was born in 1916 in Te xas a nd w as ta ken wi th music from an earl y age. After mo ving to Sou thern Cali fo rnia in the mid- 1940s, Wilmer and his bro the r, William, joined the Southe rn Gospel Singe rs. Later Willmer and Will iam formed the Fi ve Trumpets , the y we re bo th l ead singers and 7. Willmer ‘Little Ax” B roadnax Willmer was known for his powerful tenor voi ce . Following this he perfo rmed wi th the Fairfiel d Fou r and the Fi ve Blin d Bo ys o f Mississippi before fo rming his own g roup called Li ttle Ax and the Gol den Echoes . He perfo rmed wi th his bro the r, who a ccep ted and supported h im, th rough his life . Willmers trans iden ti ty was disco ve red a fte r his dea th in 1 992. These in credible , famous, transgende r pe ople show that there ha ve been people like us through out histo ry, ou t an d closeted who achi e ved grea t things. We ha ve alwa ys been here an d we alwa ys will ... Sorry Grandma bu t there was such a thi ng as being trans- gender back in your da y! March 31st
10 Former WWE Superstar Gabbi Tuft Comes Out as Transgender: 'I Love Myself for Who I Am' "I am no longer afraid and I am no longer fearful," Gabbi Tuft wrot e in a statement on her Instagram By Gabrielle Chung Gabbi Tuft is living her truth. The former WWE superstar, 42, came out as transgender in a lengthy statement shared on her social media accounts on Thursday, writing alongside a photo of herself, "This is me. Unashamed, unabashedly me." "This is the side of me that has hidden in the shadows, afraid and fearful of what the world would think; afraid of what my family, friends, and followers would say or do," she continued. "I am no longer afraid and I am no longer fearful. I can now say with confidence, that I love myself for WHO I am." Tuft, who previously wrestled under the ring name Tyler Reks, went on to open up about her journey, saying that the "previous eight months have been some of the darkest of my entire life." "The emotional turmoil of being transgender and having to face the world has almost ended me on multiple occasions," she recalled. "However, the day I stopped caring about what other people thought, was the day I trul y became limitless and allowed my authentic self to come into the light." In her statement, Tuft also thanked her "loving" wife Priscilla — with whom she shares 9-year- old daughter Mia — and those who "have accepted me for who I am." "To them, I am forever grateful. Your support along the way means more than you will ever know," she wrote.
11 "I don't e xpect everyone to agree or understand. It's not my place to change any of your core beliefs. Just know that the outer shell may change, but the soul remains the same," Tuft added. "I promise to always be transparent and truthful with my journey, and to be a light to those that are in need. This is me," she concluded the post. Tuft also shared a teaser clip from her upcoming interview with Extra on Twitter, in which she spoke about how her transition has affected her relationship with wife Priscilla. "It's been a very interesting progression," she shared. "Our intimate life has changed quite a bit. We're not active in that wa y right now, but what we've discovered is a whole different part of our relationship." Tuft has been married to Priscilla since 2002. In a Instagram Story shared earlier this week, Priscilla teased that the couple "will share the most pivotal transformation in 23 years to- gether." On Wednesday, Tuft posted a heartfelt tribute to her wife, writing in part, "Our love has crossed many lifetimes. We have fought battles to reach each other... and in other lives to break away from each other. We have waged wars in the name of our love, lost our own life or lives defending it, and been separated by insurmountable distances and odds. Somehow though, in every life, we find each other and our physical and ethereal bodies unite as one soul, as it was meant to be. "I love you P, until my dying breath...and then I will find you again," she wrote. Tuft retired from professional wrestling in 2014 following a six-year career with the WWE.
12 Aetna expands gender-affirming surgerycoverage for transgender women Aetna announced that it has expanded coverage of gender- affirming surgery to include breast augmentation for transfeminine members of most of its commercial plans. The policy change was the result of collaboration with Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund and civil rights law firm Cohen Milstein Sellers & Toll. Through TLDEF and Cohen Milstein, two transgender women, Nancy Menusan and Cora Brna, who were later joined by two additional transgender women, Allison Escolastico and Elissa Gaytan, brought access-to-care issues to Aetna’s attention after being denied coverage for breast augmentation as part of their gender-affirming treatment. On behalf of their clients, TLDEF and Cohen Milstein initiated contact and worked with Aetna to update Aetna’s clinical policy bulletin to cover breast augmentation for transfeminine members as medically necessary when certain clinical requirements are met. When TLDEF and Cohen Milstein approached Aetna about coverage exclusions for transgender members, the company agreed to work collaboratively to improve access for transition-related health care. This includes considering medical evidence and revising its clinical policy on gender-affirming surgery to consider b reast augmentation medically necessary rather than cosmetic for transgender memb ers who meet certain criteria, including a letter of referral from a qualified mental health professional; persistent, well-documented gender dysphoria; and the completion of one year of feminizing hormone therapy prior to breast augmentation surgery “Our decision to update our clinical policy bulletin is consistent with many changes we have made over the years to better serve the needs of the LGBTQ community,” said Dr. Jordan Pritzker, Senior Director of Clinical Solutions for Aetna. “We appreciate the collaborative nature of this process, which allowed us to make an evidence-based change to our coverage policies regarding important care for members of the LGBTQ community.” “Aetna has been an industry leader in providing access to medically-necessary, transgender- related health care coverage, and we commend them for continuing to lead by example,” said TLDEF Executi ve Director Andy Marra. “Eliminating this exclusion is a vital step towards providing comprehensive and medically-necessary care that all transgender people deserve to ensure their health and wellbeing.”
13 Sehnsucht Emily It is amazing to me that there are so many people who are neither transgender nor transsexual and yet who want to tell those of us who are how we should live. From family and friends to medical professionals to clergy to therapists, all of them think they know something about what we live with and if we will just listen and do what they say then all will be good. This is rather like me as a middle class white baby-boomer telling a black woman that I understand what she went through growing up in Mississippi in the 1960s. That would be an incredibly arrogant and absurd thing for me to say since I have not had the experience of being black in any time let alone in the racist, prejudiced, cross burning south of the 1960s. Nor do I have any experience of what it is like to be a black woman. Yet hundreds of cisgender people, often wit h the best of intentions, commit this same act of arrogance by assuming that they understand what it is like to be transsexual, and are therefore entit led to give advice or make rules. The plain and simple truth is that they have no idea how we experience life. Even within the trans community, while there are similarities or shared experiences, each of us is unique. For example, I have no experience of what it is like to be, say, a Hmong trans woman or trans man. We may have some similar experiences but we will also have differences that neither one of us can fully grasp. Yet rather than listen to our stories and take us at our word many cisgender people often insist that we are mistaken, don’t understand ourselves, or are simp ly confused. Some even think we are crazy. In the case of the medical and therapy professions, we must convince them, we must jump through their hoops and over their hurdles, in order to get the treatment we need. Some say that we should accept that our birth sex determines our gender. If I have a penis then I am a male and must be and act male. If I have a vagina then I am female and must be and act female. But is it really true that my identity is determined by my body? If I smash my hand with a hammer I would not say that I hurt, I would say that my hand hurts. I make a distinction that, while my hand is a part of me, it is not me. Similarly, if I lose a leg in an accident I say I lost my leg. Yet who I am remains the same even though my leg is gone. My identity, my being, my mind, my soul, my essence, the part of me that is me, or however one wants to phrase it, is not determined by my body parts or lack thereof. Telling a transsexual person they are a boy because they have a penis or a girl because they have a vagina is to reduce that person’s identit y to nothing more than a body part. Using this logic if a boy were accidentally castrated then they would no longer be male. Our body is a part of us, but who we are, our identity, is more than our body. Cisgender people never have to think about this because their body and identity agree. The Germans have a word, sehnsucht, which is difficult to translate into English. It means roughly a profound and intense, yearning, longing, a sense of missing something or incompleteness, a feeling of being homesick, perhaps for a place you may have never been or thing you may have never had and may never have, and yet which resonates as familiar. It is a state of being. For me and perhaps others, this is what it is like being transsexual. It is a
14 longing, a yearning, a knowledge that something is missing in your life and you are incomplete without it. It is like an overwhelming heartache for oneness of body and mind so that the you on the outside matches the you on the inside. And all around there is a world of people telling you that you are wrong, mentally ill, confused, sinful, even evil. They tell you that you can choose not to be this way if only you will heed their advice and follow their rules. Please understand, no one chooses to be a transsexual woman or man. Neit her is it contagious like a cold or the flu. Little Billy is not going to become a trans girl just because his teacher read I Am Jazz to the class. It is something that is a part of you, perhaps even from conception. No amount of advice, condemnation, treatment or anything else has ever or, based on history, is ever going to change that basic fact. Being a transsexual person is a part of your very being, part of what makes you, you. To ignore and repress it is to live a lie. To hide it is to live in shame. To eliminate it would make you into an entirely different person. At some level, those of us who are this way come to realize this. At least some of us do. We reach a point where we cannot live a lie and we cannot hide. And we understand that even if it were possible to do so, to remove or eliminate that part of ourselves would fundamentally change us. We would be a different person. It would be an act of murder. The only option for us is to accept who we are and do what we need to do to live accordingly. All we ask from others is the grace and respect to allow us to be who we are.
15 Trace Lysette tells why trans actors should get first dibs at transgender roles: 'We're out here struggling to play ourselves' Yahoo Entertainment Staff “I was just going through my Twitter, minding my own business, and there pops up the link for your ‘SMB’ music video… ‘Self-Made B****es…” drag queen personality Monét X Change asks actress Trace Lysette — known for her roles in Transparent and Hustlers, as well as for being the one to call out her Transparent co-star Jeffrey Tambor in 2017 for alleged sexual harassment — on her virtual Yahoo series The X Change Rate this week. “What’s the tee?” The tee, explains Lysette, is that she was inspired after shooting a film called Venus as a Boy, about an aspiring rapper and wanted to do a track for the movie. “Let me give them something with a message,” she says. “Something that related to me and my trans sisters.” The song has “kind of a double meaning,” she explains, and refers to both being self-made in terms of her career and also being trans. “Nobody gave me permission to exist in the world like the woman that I am, but this is me and I’m going to take up space.” X Change, pointing out a special flexing trick that Lysette does with her derriere in the music video, asks for lessons to do the same, which Lysette says she could easily provide. “It’s just some muscle isolations,” she says, adding that it’s something she’s good at since she was “a stripper for almost a decade, so that was paying the rent for a long time.” When asked about the push for transgender actors to be the ones cast in trans roles, over cisgender actors, Lysette says she believes in it strongly — and that when people counter that by saying that cisgender actors should not be played by trans actors, it’s a false equivalency. “If all things were equal, maybe they would have a point, but all things are not equal, and so we’re out here struggling to play ourselves, let alone the superhero or the leading lady that isn’t trans. So when I can play Trace Ly sette attends the Amazon Studios Golden Globes After Party at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in January 2020 in California. Wonder Woman? Sure, have at it, you (Photo: JC Oliv era/Getty Images) can have the trans roles.” Lysette’s latest role has been behind the camera — as executive producer of the upcoming documentary Trans in Trumpland, which follows four transgender individuals in an attempt to
16 “get to see what they were up against during the Trump administration” regarding the various attacks on their rights and existence. If she could speak directly to the former president, Lysette says she would tell him, “The only way we’re going to cross this bridge between the way…marginalized folks think and the way other people in America think is if we really come at them from a place of love and compassion. So I wouldn’t mind having some kind of conversation with him.” Bluestocking Blue By: Vivienne Shifting Sands Although it's over a year since its release, I came across this amazing publication, and I wanted to give it wider recognition. The Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (RANZCOG) is the medical college responsible for setting training standards for doctors specializing in the field of Obstetrics and Gynecology in Australasia. So it's a very large, pres- tigious, academic organization. As most medical colleges do, it publishes a flagship academic journal; but also a more informal publication, O&G Magazine, which I admit I had never come across until I saw a pile of them lying in my hospital. The top one caught my eye, because it was colourful, and because it looked like Tetris (which is one of my favourite games). When I looked closer, I saw that the theme of this particular issue was "LGBTQIA", so I picked it up to have a read. I was immediately captivated. Best of all, the entire issue is available free online here. Let's start with the editorial, from incoming RANZCOG President Dr Vijay Roach: Roach: This issue of O&G Magazine addresses an important aspect of social, cultural and clinical life in Australia and New Zealand. Members of the LGBTI community have e xperienced a long history of marginalization and discrimination, often to the detriment of their physical and mental healthcare. While the College acknowledges a diversity of opinion in the community and among our members on many issues, on one thing we are united: RANZCOG believes that every person, independent of their sexual orientation, has the right to high-quality medical care. In 2017, the RANZCOG Board issued a statement on same-sex marriage which read, in part '… the Board affirms its support for
17 marriage equality and calls upon the Australian Parliament to ensure equal opportunity for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex (LGBTI) Australians in same-sex relationships and their families …' I was proud to be a member of that Board and grateful to then-President Prof Steve Robson for his leadership. In this issue, the O&G Magazine editors have assembled a diverse series of articles relevant to the care of the LGBTI community. It is compelling reading and relevant to everyone’s practice. The list of articles is impressive: Fertility options for gender and sexually diverse people (Bronwyn Devine) Rainbow IVF (Sarah van der Wal) Gender dysphoria (Simone Buzwell) Gender dysphoria: a paediatric perspective (Noel Friesen) Fertility preservation in the transgender child and adolescent (Tamara Hunter) Intersex: variations in sex characteristics (Jennifer Beale) What do intersex people need from doctors? (Morgan Carpenter) Hormonal treatment of the transgender adult (Rosemary Jones) Surgery for transgender individuals (Charlotte Elder) LGBTQIA gynaecological screening (Kimberley Ivory) Takatāpui (Elizabeth Kerekere) Tekwab i Giz National LGBTI Health Alliance (Rebecca Johnson) Glass closets and the hidden curriculum of medical school (Amy Coopes) Australia's queer history (Robert French) I read these articles with two sets of eyes. The first were my medical eyes: was this the sort of thing that, as a doctor, would be helpful for me to read? The answer is clearly yes. The second were my transgender eyes: was this the sort of thing that, as a trans person myself, I would want doctors to read and know? The answer is also a clear yes. There is no doubt that transgender people are becoming more and more visible; their care has been, in the main, not that great; most doctors have very little training in care of transgender people, and reliable resources for doctors to draw upon are few. The various authors all have special expertise and interest in their various fields, which is commendable. But it's the range of subjects which strikes me as particularly noteworthy. I've sometimes felt that the T is kind of tacked on to the end of LGB as an afterthought. But here we are, right in the middle, with articles dealing with not just hormones and surgery but issues like fertility and childhood and emotional wellbeing. Amazing. I was pleased to note that the tone of all the articles was spot on, from the acceptance of the individuals, to recognition that care matters but is frequently lacking, to pragmatic information and guidance for practitioners. There are several points which are very much worth making about a publication of this type. (1) First, it's great that a major medical college is being so overtly inclusive. That alone is magnificent. RANZCOG is setting an example for
18 others to follow. There has been lots of Twitter support for the issue. (2) Second, most medical colleges publish guidelines for the care of patients with X condition. What strikes me about this one is a subtle but powerful shift in tone: not "this is what these patients are like" but "this is us, and that's OK". As Amy Coopes points out in her article, there is still great stigma in medicine if you are gay or non-binary. So a publication like this is extremely affirming. As a transgender person with a medical degree myself, I immediately wanted to reach out and make contact, so I wrote to RANZCOG and congratulated them on their magazine (and I’m not the only one: there is a very heartfelt response from a gay obstetrician in the following issue here). (3) I wouldn't have necessarily expected O&G to be the specialty which would deal with the care of transwomen. Post-transition, care could potentially be complex, since O&G specialists are more used to the care of people with a uterus and vagina than a prostate gland. But this issue seems to be saying to its readers: don't panic, you can do it! It's started me discussing these issues with some of my colleagues much more openly than previously. Whether you are medical or not, it's well worth having a browse through this magazine. If you're aware of any other medical organisations being explicitly rainbow-inclusive, please let me know.
19 Kandi’s Land Observations, Adventures, Experiences of a Crossdresser Visit daily for uplifting posts at https://kandis328772669.wordpress.com/! Wearing Women’s Clothing vs. Dressing Like a Woman by Kandi Robbins Big difference. I frequent a popular CD forum and read all kind of things, some I can relate to, some are touching and frankly many are simply silly, a few creep me out. One thread got me thinking. Someone posed the question as to what everyone wears while lounging around the house. She went on to say she was wearing a nightgown and pantyhose (and in typical CD fashion, she referenced the specific brand of pantyhose as well as a very detailed description of the nightgown). And that is the classic example of "wearing women's clothing". There is not a single woman on this planet that would wear a nightgown with pantyhose. I have certainly had my time wearing articles of women's clothing, often in combinations that made zero sense. I now dress as a woman would. There is a tremendous difference in the two. If you want to go out in public, if you want to be accepted by mainstream society, if you want to feel like a woman does, then "dress like a woman would". Do not just throw on things because they are female attire. If you have a woman in your life, observe her. If not, take a look at the many women that walk our planet. Make mental notes. Be observant. What are they wearing? How to they combine different things? Is their blouse completely tucked in or partially tucked in the front and loose in the back? What is the length of their jeans and what type of shoes are they wearing with those jeans? What are they wearing over their sweater? Woman generally do not like wearing panty- hose. They generally go barelegged in the summer. When I watch TV, I notice different types of necklaces (Hallmark movies are great for this) and how they work and with what. I pay attention to how things are combined. I am a sponge, trying to make up for the years I was aching to be, but not able to be for many reasons, the woman I have become. This also goes for makeup. Watch, observe. Go to a makeup store and seek advice. Ask ques-
20 tions. Learn. Watch YouTube videos. Don't walk out looking like Mimi from The Drew Carey Show (Google it if you are not familiar). If you take this seriously, meaning you want to be treated by the public as a woman, then show some constraint and dress like a woman. Invest in your presentation, and I mean in terms of time, study, observation, learning and the use of good judgement. Slow it down. We all know the thrill of this (and there is an undeniable thrill to this), but do it right and you'll reap much greater benefits. Just because you are wearing women's clothing does not make you a woman. There is a difference. Dress like a woman, ladies! PS For anyone new to Kandi's Land, we operate under one basic premise here. This is not simply about "crossdressing". I am not transgendered as typically defined. I consider myself b i- gendered. This is about presenting myself to the public (going out in public is THE key compo- nent of me) as a woman. That means I wear generally what a woman would wear in the situa- tion I place myself. So, you will see me in dresses, skirts, b lazers, sweaters, jeans, leggings, basically the b road pallet of what real woman might wear to go shopping, to the museum, to church, etc. In other words, this is all about dressing like a woman. Many other b logs cover wearing women's clothes and do so much b etter than I do. Visit Kandi's Land daily for uplifting and positive posts at https://kandis328772669.wordpress.com/!"
21 Marie’s Memories By: Marie Green WHAT TO WEAR, WHAT TO WEAR, WHAT TO WEAR? We are often faced with the question of what to wear to work or to go shopping with the Girls (or by yourself) or for that special event - Be it dinner at a fine restaurant, church wedding or a Broadway Play. An y or all of these are sometimes critical or monumental decisions (at least in our own minds), but none came close to “What to wear to the Yacht Club 2020 Ball.” Our Gal was recently faced with this crisis and less than four weeks before the “Event of the Year”. First thoughts, - No problem, New venue, New group of people. Must have something that will be appropriate in the Closet. First Survey – Several Options – Five Contenders…… The Guest Bedroom Closet is the home of the “Specials – Mostly Gowns”. The number currently stands at six including two Wedding Gowns. The First in the lineup, just might work, it is a gorgeous satin slimline. It worked at a Masquerade Affair as the Snow Princess but probably is not appropriate for this affair. The Second Wedding Gown is ruled out because it is nothing but a decided Ball Gown Wedding Masterpiece. So sorry it just heavenly to wear! And it does an absolutely wonderful job of highlighting a perfectly womanly derriere. A Perfect Wonder Woman feeling! The Third in the lineup is a sleeveless black piece with a light tint of a whitish-pink applique on the bodice circling the bustline and descending to encircle the narrow waist. Designed for a Vamp with its deep plunging lace trimmed neckline which extents to an equally deep cut in the back exposing the gracefulness of the neck down to the lower extent of the female ribcage. Perfect for an intercontinental ride on the Orient Express. However, this Vamp would not be welcomed, by at least half the attendees, particularly when worn by an unattached and moderately attracti ve woman, thus it also must be put on the discard side of the ledger. The next candidate, Number Four comes from the Cassandra Design Group is also sleeveless but with a much fuller skirt which begins just below the “Butt”. Perfect for the sweeping swirls of the Waltz or the Tango also black but with shimmering net screen of more than 300-inch sized ovals of a bright silver metallic thread. Great for dancing on the rear deck of an ocean- going cruise ship or polished oak deck of an elegant private yacht under the warm glow of a romantic moonlit evening. Numb er Five in the competition is a Violet tinged strapless number with a lavish display of gold studs which decorate the entire distance from the upper edge of the breast line down to the just below the lower curve of the sculptured derriere at which point the skirt is overlaid by no less than four alternating layers of a pink-violet net. Again, a magnificent vehicle devoted to
22 displaying the skill and workmanship of the design and fabrication team as well as the most salient points of the feminine anatomy, but alas perhaps just a little, or a lot more than would be acclaimed by the older, more proper of segment of the high-society who might (most probably) attending the Gala. Dear Reader, as you might have judged the each of the candidates rested in Marie’s Guest Bedroom Closet, although each is gorgeous and spectacular in its own right and would be the envy of many a woman and head turner of many men. None were deemed appropriate for the approaching Festivities. This required a thorough and almost frantic search for an outfit of some sought which would be perfectly acceptable to the unknown throng attending this Hi-Society gathering and a certain segment who would immediately render a “Judgement” good or bad but neither would be quickly forgotten or overlook. Thus, before beginning the quest for “It” on her own, particularly given the very limited resources available, our Gal alerted Gloria her dressmaker-seamstress that when “It” was found some alterations, in all likelihood would be required. Next, she called Tanya, and solicited her assistance and advice as to where to start the search. There was only one Department Store and one upscale Consignment Shop (in the village) that might have the answer. However, selecting a piece from the Consignment Shop ran the risk the previous owner might be in attendance at the Gala and that “just” would not do. Tanya agreed but suggested they team up and visit the Shoppe. The owner was a good friend of Tanya and would know the history of every item and might be able to affect a miracle. Although the odds were extremely low, the Shoppe was only a ten-minute drive and after an alerting cell call, the owner would be standing by to assist. This was a good start as the Department Store was a more than a 45-minute drive. While waiting for Tanya and our Gal, the Shoppe owner pulled two candidates for their consideration. She pictured this task would be equivalent to the Debutante selecting her gown for her Coming Out Ball. The owner, Paulette greeted Tanya with a big hug and opened their exchange with a typical female query. “Hi Girl, where have you been? Have not seen you in a while. And who is your friend?” Tanya, after returning the hug, introduced our Gal, “This is Marie Anne, good friend and client, but more so. We have to find her a dress for her the Country Club 2020 Gala and we have to accomplish this in the next few days.” Paulette responded, “Well thank you both for thinking of me. I hope we can find the perfect dress or at least one that can meet and exceed your needs.” With that she cooed, “While I was waiting for you, I scourged both my recent shipment of NEW outfits and also ran through some near new Hi-End Consignment numbers that came in yesterday from an out of town partner of mine, and selected one from each group. One is an elegant, sophisticated number and the other is really cute and youthful and full of energy. Let me show you them. Hopefully one of these will meet your needs. Oh! Can I get either of you a coffee or tea? Tan ya responded “Not for me Thanks” and Marie also declined with a shake of the head and a polite “No Thank You.”
23 “Okay then.” Paulette said and she reached behind a nearby velvet partition withdrawing a floor length Black gown accented by a sweeping pattern of small gold studs running from the neck line off to the shoulders and then down both arms narrowing just above the wrists while parallel lines of the same studs cascaded down the breast circling at the waist then plunging over the hips and ending just at random heights about the hem and about nine inches from the floor allowing a flash of slender ankle and fashionable heels. Paulette continued, “This number can be further accentuated by a Black Bearded purse and either gold or pearl jewelry.” Catching her breath, Paulette continued, “I do not think any alterations will be required, so if you are intrigued, it is time for Marie Anne to disappear into the Changing Room and see if I am right.” With that and a certain delicate flare, she draped the gown over her left arm and strode to the dressing room waving Tanya and Marie to follow. She handed the gown to Tanya and ushered the two women into the spacious mirror lined compartment and withdrew saying “I’ll be back in a few minutes I’m off for coffee. Can I get you some?” There was a joint “No thanks” from the room. It took about seven minutes before Tanya opened the door and with a girlish imitation of a triumph flourish and sweep of her hand and a slight bow waved a shimmering statuesque Marie Anne to the waiting audience of one. Paulette reacted far out of proportion to her business interest with a cry of “Spectacular” and clapping of hands and rushing forward taking Marie’s face into her hands and saying “Girl you will just absolutely stun them. But hold on a minute I’ll be right back! With that exclamation, Paulette dashed to a Jewelry Case and grasping a key suspended on a chain around her neck, she squatted down, female style, unlocked the case withdrawing a velvet clad tray. She then stood and moved behind Michelle instructing her to remain still. As Marie obliged, Paulette draped an intricate and unique piece of artistry around our Gal’s shoulder (It might be called a Shawl, a Cowl or Throw but this creation was much, much more than any of these titles conveyed). It could best be described in several manners…Basically is was a reverse “Triangle” with its two wings (such as an soaring Eagle or a gliding Flamingo) falling over her shoulders and descending to the waist caressing her breasts in-route and transforming the simple lines of the black dress to those of a magical cloak of femininity.
24 While Tanya and Marie were appraising this vision of grace and beauty in the wall sized three- panel mirror, Paulette dashed off again on another retrieval exercise. She returned almost before the admiring pair realized she had left. By now she had left her business-like decorum drop a little more. With her arms extended and holding her hands on high, saying “Look what I have.” She quickly approached Michelle and directed “Girl please shed those beach sandals and step into these. “These” were a pair of 5-inch Fiomi pointed toe heels with delicately scalloped lace sides. They just broadcast Style, Sophistication and a polite degree of sexiness. That sealed the choice and ended the search for the “Perfect Dress”. MORE TO FOLLOW – The Other Dress Realization - None Rang my Bell or stirred my imagination.
25 The Adventures of Judy Sometimes By: Judy Daniels Disaster Averted Shortly after making my post last night I received a text from my friend Kim who was to do my hair and nails today saying she screwed up and was going to have to cancel my 12:00 appointment. The wedding that she is doing a "live" painting at is today, not tomorrow and she would need to leave town by noon as its in Minneapolis which is about a 3.5 hour drive. So after canceling all her other appoints, packing her clothes and car up and getting everything in order she text me early this morning and said if I could come in at 9 she could still squeeze me in before leaving. Needless to say I jumped on her request. The idea of going to my reunion with "man" hands just was not an option. My nails were looking pretty bad last weekend so I removed the acrylics exposing my own nails which are not a pretty sight. It was bad enough going all week with gross nails and the thought of facing all my peers with my natural nails turned my stomach. Of course either doing them myself or finding another salon to have them done was always an option, but it wasn't something I was wanting to do at this point. So when I showed up at her salon I was thinking all she would have time to do was my nails, but when she guided me over to her hair station I was pleasantly surprised. So, here I am, not even noon wearing a cute outfit with my hair, nails and toes done, all ready to go. The best part of all this happening is now I can go meet all the ladies for lunch. Every reunion there is a standing invitation for a "ladies only" lunch at the Mexican Village, a restaurant that has been around since we were all in high school, in fact, a few of the girls actually were waitresses there back in the day. I know a few of the girls are going to want to start "partying" right after lunch, but I'm going to do my best and resist ... at least until my wife gets off work somewhere after 3. Might even try and get a little nap time in. Could be a long night. Judy L ynn
26 Ask Hannah By: Hannah McKnight Girls say hello to our newest columnist Hannah McKnight Hi! My name is Hannah McKnight and I identify as transgender but I prefer the term T-Girl. My mission is to talk about what it’s like to balance a life between genders. I have no plans to transition, live full-time as a woman, or take hormones. I am happy to go back and forth between my different gender identities. Over the years I have gotten more involved with trans-activism, social awareness and creating a supportive environment for all transwomen. I run a social and support group for transgender women called the MN T-Girls. I'm also currently writing a book about my experiences and life. I’ve Got to Admit it's Getting Better (it couldn't get no worse) It's safe to say that from a legal perspective, it is getting... well, easier and safer to be LGBTQ+. If we are speaking in very general terms, there are more workplace protections than there were ten years ago. Our community can do more than we could a decade ago, whether it was adopting a child, marrying the person we love, or having medical benefits for hormones. I mean, the bar was pretty low to begin with, in some ways it couldn't get worse. And it's wonderful! Really it is! I am thankful for every piece of legislation that is passed that makes it illegal to dis- criminate someone for being queer. Laws can help "normalize" the non-cis/non-het commu- nity. I mean, it's a slooooooooooow process but it's getting better. But just because something is legal or illegal, it doesn't really mean that life gets easier. I mean, yes, it does if you are looking to adopt children, get married or keep your job, but if someone hates me because I am trans they'll still hate me no matter what the law says. I don't need everyone to love me, but if someone is going to beat me up or harass me because I am trans they are likely going to beat me up or harass me whether it is "legal" or not.
27 The point is that a law doesn't necessarily lead to acceptance or a change in perspective, or a change in behavior. It's not legal to pay a woman less than a man for the same job, but it still happens. Racism, sexism, homophobia will probably always exist, no matter how laws regarding equality are passed. A law isn't going to help our family accept us. Yes, we don't need the acceptance of others, but we kind of do. It would be nice to have that. Although I can get through life without the understanding/acceptance of others, it does get a little depressing being reminded that there are countless people in the world who wish I didn't exist and think there is something wrong with me. If laws won't change how many people see us, what will? At my most optimistic I think time will help. But my god, how long will that take? It won't be in my lifetime. To offer some perspective (and at the risk of trivializing gender identity) I think about cis-women wearing pants. If you see a woman wearing pants at the mall or whatever, you think nothing of it. I mean, some t-girls might wonder a little why a woman would choose to wear pants when she could wear a dress but that's not the point. What I'm saying is that it wasn't long ago that a woman wearing pants was illegal. It took forever for women to be "allowed" to wear pants. It took even longer for most of the population to stop making it a big deal. The point is that even though it was legal for women to wear pants, even though it took a very long time to make it so, it took even longer for (most) people to stop caring. We as humans have a long history of overthinking clothes. That isn't going to change. Not for a long, long, long, long time. You can't rush progress. Cramming anything down someone's throat is not going to work. You can't force acceptance, you can't bully someone into changing their mind, their perspective, their opinion. If an ything is going to change, it's going to be through visibility, representation, a unified voice, and a simple message. This isn't going to be easy. Different letters of the L G B T Q + community want and need different things. My friends who are L don't necessarily need the same things as the T community does. Individuals in the T community also need different things. If you fall under the T umbrella you likely identify in a different, more specific, more nuanced way than someone else who is trans. A crossdresser is under the T umbrella and they may just want to stop being looked at as a fetishinst. Someone who is non-binary wants people to use Them/They pronouns. A drag queen might want to stop being politicized or demonized. We all are hoping and fighting for different things. A drag queen's fight is not the same as my fight, if you follow. BUT! If you step back you'll realize it really is. An ything that impacts any individual in the LGBTQ affects all of us. If it's legal to refuse medical treatment for someone who is gay, it's not too unrealistic to think that the transcommunity will soon face that same discrimination as well. If people want to stop events like drag queen story time at libraries it's possible that as a t-girl I wouldn't be allowed into the library at all. Some people don't think there is a difference between a drag queen and a transperson. For them, it comes down to men wearing dresses, regardless if it's for a performance or if it's because of gender identity. I don't do drag but I will do whatever I can to protect those that do.
28 I know people who identify as crossdressers, but not as transgender. And that's fine, you can identify however you wish to. Some have told me that they aren't worried about losing their job if they li ve in a state where it's legal to fire someone for being LGBTQ. Afterall, the y are a crossdresser, not transgender. But really, do you think a lawmaker or a human resources manager sees, or cares about the difference between someone who identifies as a cross- dresser and someone who is transgender? Again, it comes down to men wearing dresses, no matter how they identify. We have a loooooooong way to go when it comes to being protected. We have a long way to go when it comes to being safe and accepted. It's so cliche to say, but we are really in this to- gether. Love, Hannah hannahmcknight.org Mellissalynn’s Tips & Tricks Well, I just looked outside and guess what, ladies? It's still winter. The calendar at least says that spring is getting closer, and the temperatures seem to be bearing that out, at least here in Illinois. I want to send well wishes to my readers in Texas before I go on. I hope all of you were safe during the recent storms and power situations, and that you're all back with us to read this month's newsletter. For being such a short month, February was a very busy one for me! It was full of adventures and misadventures, the latter mostly of the vehicle variety. Literally e very vehicle in my family (my own and all of my children) decided to act up last month! The battery died in my Equinox and had to be replaced, my Caravan had a broken water hose, my oldest son's Cadillac is having brake issues, my middle son's pickup threw its transmission, and my youngest son had a problem with his tensioner for his engine belt. To add to the fun, most of this happened in a week's stretch, during the bitter cold. On the plus side, my granddaughter (pictured with me here) turned four at the very end of January and we finally were able to have her birthday dinner/party in February. It was sweet; we gave her her birthday presents, which she loved, and the staff at the restaurant we went to brought her a bowl of ice cream and get the entire place to sing happy birthday. In the world of sports, w had the Super Bowl. Football season is now over and spring training has started for basball! Menwhile, my Bulls are doing halfway decent this year, and I've
29 actually gotten to watch a game or two. I'd forgotten the joys of watching a basketball game...still, I'm ready for baseball! Opening Day is coming soon...go Cubbies! So tell me about your month, ladies! Tell me about your upcoming winter or spring plans, your hopes for baseball, how strange you think the last year has been, a great show or a movie you've watched, or share other news in general. You’re always welcome to share tips and tricks, of course! Write to me, any time, at my e-mail: mlatjnadhmelly@gmail.com. You can hit me up on Facebook; my username there is Mellissa Lynn. I ALWAYS answer any and all mail I get! And, as many of you know, if you send me a question or a tip or trick, you'll see your name in print in this column. I love hearing from you all, so send me that mail, lovelies! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ To start this month, I want to talk a little about your eyebrows. Are you ha ving an issue with your eyebrows shedding? Well, chica, I have something for you to try for that! There are shampoos out there, available in your local drugstore, that will prevent this from happening. I know, it sounds bizarre, but remember, this is beauty! We have special products for everything. I don't normally promote products, but this is specialized enough that I think I have to do so. It's called Dove Dermacare Scalp Anti-Dandruff Shampoo. Once you get the shampoo, massage a teaspoon of it onto your damp brows for a moment, then rinse. By doing so, you get rid of dead skin and dandruff that can build up in the eyebrows and cause fall out. While we're on the subject, here's a fast way to swell those hairs up and make your brows look plumper. Get a small amount of olive oil. Dip a cotton swab in it and rub into your brows. Do this twice daily. The olive oil has fatty acids that instantly plump the brow hairs. Also, the inherent vitamin E will help to condition the hairs. This will stop the breakage that causes the thinner look. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ In the winter, your skin gets dry, flaky, and cracked. This isn't news, is it? Well, the same is also true of your nails, which are, after all, also made of keratin. To prevent this, follow these simple easy steps! - Keep your hands, fingers, and cuticles moisturized. This will help to keep your nails from be- coming brittle and breaking. Your should apply a cuticle cream or oil once or twice a day and make sure to massage it in for maximum effect. An effective homemade cuticle softener can be created by mixing a tablespoon of pineapple juice, an egg yolk, and a teaspoon of cider vine- gar. Apply this to your cuticles and let sit a moment or two for maximum potency. - Keep your nails shorter and rounded in the winter; doing so can help prevent them from breaking. - Use a nail strengthener on your nails, whether you paint them or not. This will help combat the harsh winter temperatures and winds. If you paint your nails after applying, also use a base coat to keep the polish on longer.
30 - When removing nail polish, try to use a nail polish remover with a conditioner built in. This will help prevent the chemicals in the remover drying out your nails. - Remember that your nails will grow slower in the winter. You can use a growth treatment on your nails to help with this. Make sure to massage the treatment in completely, and make sure that your nails are dry before applying anything else to them. - Make sure to never cut or file your nails after a shower or bath. It can cause them to split. When you do file your nails, the best method is to file your nails towards the middle instead of back and forth across the nails. It will help prevent cracking or peeling of the nails. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ More oils! Have you ever heard of meadow foam oil? It's a plant-derived oil that will help to fade scars, due to the vitamin E contained within. It will also help exfoliate the skin, making scars (and other skin as well) feel and look less rough. For those of you (us) with stretch marks, it can help those fade as well! Side note: remember that the best time to apply an oil such as this is within three minutes of getting out of the shower. The steam from showering will open the pores and let the oil absorb into the skin faster and more deeply. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Here's a new one on me! Have you ever heard of emu oil? It comes from the fat of emus, from Australia. I know, I know, you're wondering why I'm talking about the oil from an Australian bird. Well, here's why: emu oil can cause your hair follicles to switch into growth mode! A recent study found that emu oil applied to the scalp caused an 8% increase in hair growth in one month, and nearly half (48%) within six months. The oil also soothes any scalp inflammation. This oil is available at your local drugstore and is pretty inexpensive. Apply a dime-sized amount to your scalp every evening. Wear a shower cap to avoid getting the oil on your pillowcase. In the morning, shampoo and rinse as normal. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Here's some food for thought: did you know that you can get even more sun damage in winter than in summer? Truth! The facts are that snow and ice can intensify the sun's rays, reflecting up to 90% of the solar output. Don't be fooled by cloudiness and gloom during the season. The big ball of fire in the sky is still out there!
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