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idliketoliveinahousewith
                      myfriends:therewouldbe
                      woodenfloorboardsthatwewould
                      sitonandoccasionallyslideoninoursocks
                      wewouldhaveswingsinthegarden
                      andalittlefigurethatdigswhenitswindy
                      itwouldbeniceifalittleanimalcametovisit
                      useverysooftentooandwhenimolderid
                      liketowakeupnexttomywifeandkissher then
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                      p e r h a p s t a ke a w a l k t o t h e b a n d s t a n d i n t h e p a r k a n d
                      playchesswithanoldfriendwewouldsitatasaml
                      ltableonfoldoutstoolsandwatchtheducksinthepond
                      andgohomewhenitistimetogohomesogiveme
                      dancingballerinasfromglossymagazinesmar-
                      blesuperhighwaysandgrassbeneathmyfeet
                      i d o n t w a n t y o u r g l a s s h o u s e p a r a n o i a o r b l a m e & c l a i m d e l u z e i t s r e a l l y n o t-
onethousandandfifty   m y c u p o f t e a a n y m o r e r e l a x r e l a x
Idliketoliveinahousewith myfriends:therewouldbe - Surrey ...
2                                                                                       NEWS                                                                       13 February 2003

    USSU ARTS & CULTURE                        Who knew a whole yard could go down in 11 seconds?
WEEK FOCUS
An in-depth look at what the Union
and UniS arts office have to offer us          WEDNESDAY NIGHT OF week 3 saw a RAG               BY CLAIRE ILES, KAY MERRITT AND PETE
                                               citrus take place with a beer drinking            NICHOLS
during the month of February during
                                               competition being held at the bottle
the annual                                     bank. Contestants could enter one of              received a VIP ticket to the Union for the
arts &                                         four categories: Fastest pint, Fastest Pint       Carl Cox event this Wednesday (week 4).
culture                                        through a straw, Fastest Dizzy Lizzy Boat           So huge congratulations go To: Rod (with
week                                           Race and the Fastest Yard of Ale. The night       a double whammy), Miles and The Bar Med
page 11                                        begun at 10.30 with all the lads from Mens’       team. Special mentions must also go To:
                                               Hockey queuing up for a chance to prove           Charlotte Dawson, who as one of only 2 girls
                                               themselves. Special got the ball rolling and      to enter, fearlessly fought the girls corner,
                                               the ale flowing, (all over his t-shirt anyway!)   the Bar Med teams stamina and the member
  THE NOT VERY                                 downing a yard, a gallant start to the games.     of union staff (who shall remain unnamed:
DEFINITIVE HISTORY OF BF                       After many Pints and Yards of Ale had been        S****y!) who upheld his reputation, giving
As part of the                                 consumed the first 2 teams stepped up for         an outstanding performance: “Who knew
continuing                                     the rather inventive Dizzy Lizzy Boat Race.       a whole yard could go down in just 11
                                               For those of you who are unaware of how           seconds!”
Blast from the
                                               this works: Two teams of four line-up and            Last of all, thank you to the Union for
Past series,                                   the first member downs a pint of ale and          supporting the RAG event and to all the
the Surrey                                     then runs about 10 metres to a pole where         competitors, without whom, we literally
Alumni Society                                 they place their head on top, and make five       couldn’t have done it!
goes undercover                                complete turns. On the home straight back
to reveal some                                 to their team, the effect of quickly downing
barefacts history                              a pint and running, combined with spinning,
professional page                              leaves you somewhat dizzily slaloming
| page 9                                       back.
                                                   The final competition was the fastest
    THE CASE FOR WAR?                          pint through a straw! It may sound easy,
                                               but believe me it’s a mission with all that
Rich Watts defends, up to a point, the         sucking! I’m sure a woman would have
actions of Blair and Bush over the past        won, if she had have entered (if you catch
few months Comment | page 5                    my drift). Once all the fun and games had
                                               been completed it was time to work out the
  IN THIS WEEK’S PAPER                         winners of each event. Each winner

The success of RAG week                        Cathy Marshall reviews the RAG raid on the High Street and the success of RAG
The RAG raid on Guildford High Street last
                                               Saturday 8th Feb saw the return of the            nature in me took off and I was determined      will never be susceptible to diseases like
Saturday raised a whopping £1500. Cathy
                                               RAG RAID as 13 Raggies descended                  to raise the most money! Of course you          cancer? Drawing from an article from last
Marshall sums up the week opposite
                                               on Guildford High Street. We would be             do get ignored by some people but most          week’s edition of barefacts, it does seem
                                               collecting for Breakthrough Breast Cancer,        are polite enough to say ‘No thank you’ if      that students and young people don’t
Come out! Come out now!                        one of our five nominated charities for this      they’re not interested and you have to just     really see the point of giving to charity.
Ben Supper returns with a theory that isn’t    year. Breakthrough is one of the largest          turn and ask someone else. Forcing people       “What difference will my 50p make?”
without its corroborative evidence around      breast cancer charities which was set up in       to give you money is not the way of the         seems to be the general conclusion but
campus Comment | page 6                        1991 by businessman Bill freedman whose           game so you can’t really get disheartened if    after my experience of last Saturday I have
                                               wife Toby Robbins had died of the disease.        you’re not successful. For every five people    personally seen what a difference even
Letters to the editor                          Bill and his family wanted to set up a            who turn you down there will always be          small change can make. I would say that
                                               research centre and now needs to raise over       one person who has the time to talk to you      the average donation was about £1 which
Strong reaction to last week’s letter lam-
                                               £5 million a year to support a programme          and praise you for coming out and dressing      on it’s own seems very little but after 4 and
basting barefacts for printing a spoof story
                                               of vital research which aims one day to           up.                                             a half hours out in town I managed to raise
about Saddam Hussein Letters | page 7          eradicate breast cancer.                           While we were out Alli had been                £377. If we had 20 people each collecting
                                                 The theme of the day was the Victorian          preparing a fabulous spread of sandwiches,      £300 then that’s £6000 in one day!
Exactly what you would expect                  Era and we had hired our costumes which           crisps, biscuits and juice which didn’t last      From a first hand experience I can
A review of Adam Sandler’s new flick           fortunately looked almost warm enough to          long once the morning group returned            say that giving to charity easily makes a
Punch Drunk Love in the all-colour film        face the February weather. Our fabulous           starving and ready to warm up. After a          difference and that to not give money to
section barearts | page 12                     SU president, Paul drove us down into             quick lunch and changing of costumes            charity because you don’t think that you
                                               town where we dissembled and spread out           the afternoon group were ready to see if        can make a difference is just shameful!
A night to remember?                           along the high street in pairs ready to be let    they could beat the records of the morning      In future years, I don’t see why RAG
Dave Abbott gives a rave review of the         loose on the Surrey public.                       group and raise even more money. Again,         shouldn’t continue to regain its popularity.
recent MadSoC production “FAME - the             OK, so after months of planning we were         Paul (who I must admit looked more like          The round up of RAG Week so far shows
musical” barearts | page 19                    finally there, our empty tins ready to be         Peter Davison from Doctor Who than a            that we have already raised £2932.42 for
                                               filled with the high street starting to fill      Victorian …sorry Paul!) drove us back           charity and that’s just in one week!!!!
National trampolining success                  up with people. So how do we actually go          into town where there seemed to be twice        Chops has raised £496.50 to have his side
                                               about collecting? After attending the RAG         as many shoppers who we were sure were          burns waxed off (yeowch), The Human
UniSport hosted the regional champion-         conference at Strathclyde University in           dying to donate from their bulging purses       Auction pulled in £680.05, the PGA Quiz
ships last weekend. Find out what hap-         Glasgow over the New Year I was ready to          and wallets.                                    £26.76 and Chancellors Challenge raised
pened on the back page Sport | page 24         put everything I had learnt into practice:         One thing I did notice throughout the day      £98.45 but it’s still coming in: RAG Mags
                                               make eye contact, have some phrases ready         was the type of person who was donating         and pens are available from the Union
                                               in my head, and of course the RAG motto:          money and also how much. It did seem to         reception for 50p each so please pop in and
                                               Smile ‘til it hurts.                              be the over 30’s who were the most willing      buy one.
                                                 Soon enough people started donating             to part with their cash and men too but          Thanks of course go out to the Raggies
                                               money and coming up for a chat, intrigued         then that could simply have been down           and especially, Paul Wright (balloon
                                               by our costumes and we all started to             to my pretty pink frock and fluttering          man), Charlotte, Alli and of course Ben
                                               get into it. Despite the fact that we are         eyelids! However, I personally received         Mac for helping to count all the dosh
                                               all collecting for the same charity, each         very few donations from people under            that we brought back. Thanks also go to
                                               individual has their own tin and the              30 and practically none from Teenagers/         Surrey County Wardrobe and ‘Top That’
                                               amount that they raise has to be counted          students so does that mean that young           party shop in Bramley for providing our
                                               and the total given to the council (who issue     people today just aren’t charitable or care     costumes.
                                               the permits). That’s where the competitive        about donating? Do they think that they                                        rag@ussu.co.uk
Idliketoliveinahousewith myfriends:therewouldbe - Surrey ...
13 February 2003                                                                                           NEWS                                                                                                 3

Vice-Chancellors on receiving end of healthy pay increases
                                                                                                                    University principals average nearly 7% wage increase

                                                                                                                    BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH                             pay packet to £165,000 per year. This places
                                                                                                                    EDITOR                                           him 13th out of an astonishing 164 higher
                                                                                                                                                                     education establishments in a league table
                                                                                                                    A SURVEY BY the Times Higher Education           published in the THES this week. Additional
                                                                                                                    Supplement has shown that last year              statistics show that Surrey has 93 members
                                                                                                                    university vice-chancellors accepted far         of staff earning over £50,000 a year, though
                                                                                                                    greater pay rises than those given to their      it is also the highest placed University where
                                                                                                                    staff. The salaries of University heads rose     no one other than the vice chancellor is
                                                                                                                    by an average of around 6 percent, and 33        earning over £100,000. Despite topping the
                                                                                                                    vice-chancellors were given pay rises in         tables with the pay of their vice chancellor,
                                                                                                                    the region of 10 percent. President of the       London Business School only awarded their
                                                                                                                    Association of University Teachers, Sally        principal a 2.6% pay rise this year, though a
                                                                                                                    Hunt, said, “The fact that the average pay       massive 78 members of teaching staff earn
                                                                                                                    rise for a vice-chancellor was 6.1% is           more than £100,000 each year.
                                                                                                                    astonishing, particularly when they keep           The reaction to the published figures has,
                                                                                                                    saying that they don’t have enough money to      on the whole, been one of disbelief at the
                                                                                                                    pay their staff a decent, competitive wage.”     relatively large salary increases, although
                                                                                                                    In stark contrast to the 3.5% average pay        some believe that vice-chancellors are
                                                                                                                    increase offered to staff across the country,    underpaid as opposed to overpaid. However,
                                                                                                                    the maximum salary belongs to the dean of        members of teaching staff at universities
                                                                                                                    the London Business School, Laura Tyson,         across the country feel that if there is enough
                                                                                                                    who earned £316,000 last year.                   money available to give their heads such
                                                                                                                      The vice-chancellor of the University of       large pay rises, then there should be enough
                                                                                                                    Surrey, Patrick Dowling, was given a salary      to pay the rest of the staff an acceptable
Above: police officers discussing the disposal of a car in the River Wey last Friday afternoon. It was originally   increase of 7.8% last year, bringing his total   wage.
thought that there might be a driver and passenger still in the vehicle, but eye-witnesses later confirmed that
some school-children had pushed the car into the river. It was pulled out a few hours later.

                                                                                                                    Lucky escape at Bellerby Court
Real suspension for spoof-news reporters                                                                            A CANDLE SET fire to a remote control in a       Royal Surrey County Hospital for checks
                                                                                                                    student’s room last Saturday morning after       and was shook up after the event.
IN THE THES this week is reported the story of             BY PHILIP HOWARD
                                                                                                                    she fell asleep whilst it was still burning.       Richard Paxton, the head of accommoda-
a pair of students from the soon-to-be-closed              NEWS EDITOR
                                                                                                                      The incident occured at about 6am in the       tion, said of the incident: “There have been
Seale-Hayne campus of the University
                                                                                                                    Bellerby Court residences and was dealt          a number of incidents over the last few
of Plymouth, who have been suspended                       of the content of the student newspaper’ and
                                                                                                                    with promptly by the warden, Dr David            weeks involving candles. We must remind
following a spoof article in their student                 apologised to the VC. David Clark, welfare
                                                                                                                    Carey, who was at the scene of the fire          all students that candles are not permitted in
rag the Seale-Hayne Chronicle. In The Sun                  officer at the students’ union, said that the
                                                                                                                    within 90 seconds of the alarm sounding.         campus accommodation for the very reason
was an article headlined “Kill Saddam, win                 union would follow its own complaint
                                                                                                                      The student was fortunate enough to es-        that they can be dangerous, as this incident
a Metro”, which the two James’ (James                      procedures as outlined in their constitution.
                                                                                                                    cape any injury, though she was taken to the     has demonstrated.”
Lewis and James Messenger) spoofed in
the offending article, running with “Kill
Levinsky and win a Robin Reliant” – aimed
at the VC of the university, in protest over
the campus’ closure. Accompanied by a
                                                                                                                    Entrepreneurship for undergraduates
photo of a topless woman holding guns, the
article ran that ‘the Seale-Hayne gun club                                                                          BY PHILIP HOWARD                                 it.”, the group will support entrepreneurs
“had been putting in some serious training                                                                          NEWS EDITOR                                      with their various requirements, as listed
time… in preparation for their assassination                                                                                                                         by the THES; ‘The group will provide
attempt”’ reports the THES. Apparently                                                                              AT THE SAME time as FUSE - the Federal           the education, direction, promotion and
the students were suspended after the VC                                                                            University of Surrey Entrepeneurs scheme         networking that successful entrepreneurs
                                                          Above: the University of Plymouth, as depicted on the
received ‘telephone death threats at his                  front page if its website                                 was launcehd last week, Oxford students          need’. Supported by the Science Enterprise
home’, although the THES reports that                                                                               this week launched a similar organisation to     Centre of Said Business School and various
‘It was not clear whether there was a link                                                                          help undergraduates market their business        patent and trademark lawyers, the group has
between the death threats and the article’. A
university spokesman told the THES that the
                                                          Use your head, son                                        ideas. ‘Oxford Entrepreneurs’ consists of
                                                                                                                    a group of entrepreneurial students whose
                                                                                                                                                                     an international flavour with Australian,
                                                                                                                                                                     American and Chinese members as well
students had ‘acknowledged the seriousness                                                                          individual exploits have so far covered:         as those from the UK. Alex Hearn, who
                                                          BY PHILIP HOWARD
                                                                                                                    a ‘pharmaceutical lifestyle company’,            founded the organisation told the THES: “We
                                                          NEWS EDITOR
                                                                                                                    a film production company, a company             have noticed that student entrepreneurship is
                                                                                                                    which backs a community comparing                bursting with ideas and concepts, yet until
                                                          LECTURERS WILL SOON be facing a sea of
                                                                                                                    drugs and treatments, a refugee assistance       now has had no real outlet. It heralds a
                                                          adverts when they begin to teach, if Cunning
                                                                                                                    group, a medical engineering device and          significant change that students are taking
                                                          Stunts (the ad agency that projected Gail
                                                                                                                    even equipment for home yoga practise.           responsibility for generating wealth”.
                                                          Porter onto the Houses of Parliament) has
                                                                                                                    With the motto “Your idea. Bounce with
                                                          their way. The agency is planning to offer
                                                          students £88.20 a week to use their foreheads
                                                          as billboards. The corporate logos will need
                                                          to be sported for three hours to keep the
                                                          students in pay, with sponsors like FHM
                                                          and youth pay-TV channel CNX signed up,
                                                          reports the Guardian. “With student debt
                                                          becoming such a massive issue, we thought
                                                          we’d offer students maximum reward
                                                          for minimum input,” said Anna Carloss,
                                                          managing director of Cunning Stunts.
Idliketoliveinahousewith myfriends:therewouldbe - Surrey ...
4                                                                                           OPINION                                                                         13 February 2003

                                                                                                        No kids please - we’re British
                                                                                                        DO YOU REMEMBER the BBC                                       distinctly pruned appearance.
                          THE UNIVERSITY OF SURREY STUDENTS’ UNION                                      comedy series called 2 point                                  Another interesting effect of
                                        UNION HOUSE                                                     4 children? Of course you                                     this lower birth rate is that
                                   UNIVERSITY OF SURREY                                                 do, the two parents called                                    over the next 25 years, the
                                    GUILDFORD GU2 7XH                                                   Bill and Ben, the father being                                UK population is expected
                                      WWW.USSU.CO.UK
                                                                                                        a plumber and the kids both                                   to increase by around five
                                                                                                        being horrors? Well, were                                     million, with two thirds of
                                                                                                        they to remake the series                                     this rise being account for
                                                                                                        today, it would have to re-                                   by immigration into the
  Why shouldn’t vice-chancellor’s be                                                                    badged as 1.64 children, the
                                                                                                        current record low for the
                                                                                                                                             PAUL CANNING             country.
                                                                                                                                                                         Indeed, with average life

         much better paid?                                                                              average number of children
                                                                                                        in a British family. There are     “A recent survey showed
                                                                                                                                                                      expectancies in the UK
                                                                                                                                                                      expected to touch 83 for
                                                                                                        a number of reasons behind that many women today are women and 79 for men in
                                                                                                        this statistic, one of which        too busy to have sex.”    that same 25 year period, the
Once again, the released figures showing           pendent of vc’s pay. You wouldn’t expect an          indicated by a recent survey                                  UK will increasingly have to
how much university vice-chancellors are           employee of Pizza Hut to demand a pay rise           showing that many women                                       look to skilled migrants to
being paid, and how this compares to their         if the bosses get big pay rise, so why should        today are too busy to have sex. I hear the bolster its shrinking workforce.
previous wages are causing a bit of a stir in      that be the same in universities.                    words ‘sounds about bloody right’ being Without these extra workers, Britain and
education circles. That they have received a         Thirdly, the job of a vice-chancellor is not       mumbled somewhere in the background, Europe will struggle to maintain economic
wage increase of 6.8% on average has “as-          quite the easy ride everyone presumes it is.         but according to the survey, with more growth, and support this increasingly elderly
tonished” teaching representatives, “espe-         Though they may once have been based in              women in employment, visiting the gym population. Perhaps the most frightening
cially when they don’t have enough cash to         academia, their jobs now entail part-time ac-        and undertaking a variety of other pastimes, statistic is that by 2025, it is predicted that
pay their staff a decent, competitive wage.”       countancy, part-time fundraisiing, part-time         the 21st century women has less free time, almost 23% of the EU population will be
Well, let us look at a couple of facts before      acadmia and part-time politics. In fact, is          and consequently less sex than her 1950’s aged over 65 : that’s a lot of pensions and
we jump to that conclusion.                        probably more useful to have MBA after               counterpart. Couple this with the fact that free bus passes. The fact that the stock
  First of all, a university is no longer “just”   your name than FRS.                                  many more women are waiting until well market, the entity into which most pension
a university - it is a vast and complex busi-        Finally, bosses if the big North American          into their thirties before starting a family, fund managers sink their assets, has almost
ness that requires leadership and very strong      institutes are paid typically double what vc’s       and we are left with a TV series that has a halved in value over the last 3 years also
management. In the business world, heads           are here.                                            far less catchier title.                         makes the pension situation appear even
of such organisations can readily earn over          Somewhere along the line, someone has to           A lower birth rate and an increasing grimmer.
£500,000 and many earn over £1m. A vice-           give: if Britain wants top-class universities        life expectancy is leading to a so called By no means is it all doom and gloom
chancellor, however, only earns around             then it needs to have top-class people. High-        ‘beanpole effect’ within family trees. though, my suggestion for cashing in on this
£150,000. Taking into account the differ-          flyers in departments are rewarded healthily         Many more living grandparents and great- new demographic trend is to buy as many
ence in market, the salary seems reason-           for their success so why not their bosses?           grandparents, fewer aunts, uncles and shares as you can in firms that own and run
able.                                              When the lure of big business comes along,           cousins means a far greater elongation of bingo halls. In just a few years they will be
 Second of all, the issue of staffing and how      the pay within academia has to be able to            your average family tree, leaving it with a worth an absolute fortune...
much they are paid is virtually totally inde-      compete with that of the outside world.

                       Federal sports day                                                               Testing times for new graduates
                                                                                                        MORE AND MORE employers                                         The key to doing well is to
Next Wednesday sees the 2nd annual fed-            to Roehampton - possibly because he knows            are using tests to help them                                    take full advantage of the
eral sports day between the University of          they don’t win much otherwise.                       to find the most suitable                                       preparation time.        When
Surrey (Guildford) and the University of             The event is still trying to establish itself as   graduates for the positions                                     the instructions are read
Surrey (Roehampton). Last year saw a very          part of the sporting calendar so if you would        they hope to fill. They are                                     out, make quite sure you
interesting encounter with the days events         like to support, make your way over to the           used because interviews                                         understand what you are
finally ending in a draw and an enthusiastic       Varsity Centre and shout for whichever tean          don’t always provide all                                        asked to do. Make the most
vice-chancellor therefore handing the trophy       you’d like to win.                                   the information they seek                                       of this opportunity to ask
                                                                                                        concerning a candidate. For        DR RUSS CLARK                questions while you can.
                                                                                                        example, if an employer                                         Once the test starts it is out
                    The first second edition                                                            wants a guide to your ability
                                                                                                        to reason with numbers,
                                                                                                                                          “Assessment centres are       of the question! You’ll have
                                                                                                                                                                        practice examples to try.
                                                                                                                                          used because interviews
                                                                                                        a test provides a more            don’t always provide the      Don’t worry about holding
This paper is the first barefacts to have a second edition proper, since the version that appered       accurate measurement than a                                     everyone up if you find these
online on Tuesday night is a bit different to the one that appears here. The main difference is                                           information they need.”
                                                                                                        question during an interview                                    difficult. It is vital that you
the coverage of the Arts & Culture week, so if you get a chance to look, please do.                     - however persuasive your                                       understand what is required
                                                                                                        answer!                                                         before the real questions
                                                                                                          There are basically two types of test. The start. Thereafter, try to work - quickly and
                                        NOTICES                                                         first sort are designed to measure different accurately. Some tests start easily and lull
                                                                                                        aspects of your personality such as your you into a false sense of security. Don’t be
                    Societies Standing Committee 24th February 6pm LTF                                  sociability or your assertiveness. They fooled! They often get more difficult as the
                                                                                                        are not usually timed and there are no test proceeds and you realise you don’t have
            International Societies Standing Committee 24th February 7pm LTF                            right answers. It is best to answer these as as much time as you thought.
                                                                                                        honestly as you can rather than by trying to     Finally, try to stay calm even if you think
                           Student Council 25th February 1pm LTM                                        give answers which you think the employer you’ve done badly. Tests only form part of
                                                                                                        wants you to give.                             the selection process and you can improve
            Islamic society EGM (voting new president) 26th February 6pm LTL                               The other kinds of test are timed. They your overall performance by doing well in
                                                                                                        are known as aptitude tests and are used other exercises.
                                                                                                        to measure your ability in some area. For       PS Look out for our Practice Aptitude Test
                                                                                                        example, how good are you at working with Workshops. Please sign up in Careers if you
                 THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK                                                                   figures, can you recognise patterns, are you wish to attend.
                                                                                                        good at reasoning with words, and so on.                            www.surrey.ac.uk/careers
          “Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.”
                            ALBERT CAMUS (1913 - 1960), AUTHOR                                                  Dr Russ will be back in his usual home of the professional page next week
Idliketoliveinahousewith myfriends:therewouldbe - Surrey ...
13 February 2003                                                                    OPINION                                                                                                                          5

The case for war with Iraq
             Perhaps there are reasons for war. At the very least, says
             Rich Watts, the Prime Minister is owed an apology

SATURDAY WILL SEE around half a million         support on this side of the Atlantic. What I
people turn out in London to protest the        would argue, however, is that there is a clear
impending war with Iraq and denounce            case for war and, if you are willing to look,
the tactics and reasoning behind Bush           individuals whose arguments otherwise
and Blair’s reasons for removing Saddam         are irrational and somewhat alarming
Hussein. A massive case for a “No to War”       themselves.
campaign has been made by the majority of         Let us consider how Tony Blair has been
government, the national press and indeed       treated of late. Clergymen have accused
the nation and the protest this weekend will    him of being “immoral” and “unchristian”          Right: George Bush
be a manifestation of the general sentiment     despite his well-known faith; he has been          and Tony Blair. Is
                                                                                                 the future of human-
throughout this country and various quarters    labelled as President Bush’s “poodle”              ity in their hands?
of Europe (and a fair portion of America, for   and in a recent article in one particularly
that matter).                                   fashionable tabloid (The Daily Mirror) he
   But what of the case for war? Where          was called a “liar and a coward.” This           people because international sanctions thus                      threaten Israel. What’s more, friends of the
conflicts regarding ideologies, principles      followed a full front page picture of the        remained.                                                        United States would no longer hold trust in
and convictions lie - as are always present     Prime Minister with the headline “Blood on          Last year, resolution 1441 was passed                         their international friend.
when discussing war, there is always the        his hands.” (This same paper also wrote of       unanimously, offering a “final opportunity”                        Much focus has been placed on a second
need for debate, for the rational and for       the Bush administration as “the Third Reich      to disarm and warning of “serious                                resolution of the UN to advocate war.
the tempered to think things through; to        of our times,” and so clearly losing out,        consequences” if nothing was done.                               Indeed, many believe that the Prime Minister
balance; to compose; to assess. Now, not        therefore, when it comes to Godwin’s law of      Currently, we have been informed by                              is pinning his hopes on such a blessing if he
for one second would I argue that Messers       “whoever mentions the Nazis first, loses.”)      the chief of weapons inspectors, despite                         is to remain as Premier for this country
Bush and Blair have always represented           There is also the small matter of Tony Benn     difficulties caused by Iraqi officials in                        in the forseeable future. Such measures
the truthful, rational view on this war - far   who, whilst visiting Baghdad, said: “I will      procuring the evidence, that Iraq has still                      are admirable, but we must remember the
from it. Indeed, it is clear from his weekly    see women and children who will die in the       to give up its weapons. Thus Saddam is in                        lessons of Slobodan Milosevic’s rule over
addresses and his tone throughout these past    next few weeks because the Prime Minister        breach of resolutions 687 and 1441.                              Bosnia during the last few years and the
few months that George Bush, for reasons        has decided to kill them.” This same man            And so what is the choice now facing                          effect of non-action had on the inhabitants
that he is still to validate completely and     then interviewed Saddam Hussein - a man          us? Do we ignore this steadfast ignorance                        there.
satisfactorily, has his heart set on military   who has oppressed and tortured his own           of binding resolutions and take a path of                           If there is to be a war, then there is no
action. In much the same way, but to a          civilians as well as invaded two neighbours      least resistance, as advocated by France                         doubt that innocent civilians will die. That
lesser extent, Tony Blair has found himself     and killed a million people - and said           and Germany along with many others such                          thousands upon thousands of innocent
arguing an unpopular opinion and, mindful       nothing when the Iraqi leader commented:         that we leave Iraq to declare its weapons                        civilians have already died because of
of his many other issues at the moment          “Every fair-minded person knows that             when it feels like it (bearing in mind this                      Saddam’s lack of cooperation is already
(particularly Europe) is struggling to find     when Iraqi officials say something they are      is not happening in the face of “serious                         plain to see. But if something considerable
                                                trustworthy. Iraq has no weapons of mass         consequences”) or should something                               is not done, then the potential fall-out from
                                                destruction whatsoever.”                         actually be done? Should the former occur                        not dealing with Saddam properly for
“What do                                          What do such people suppose Tony Blair’s
                                                ambitions to be? To start a war for the sake
                                                                                                 then Saddam has won a victory over the
                                                                                                 United States and the UN. In fact, the latter,
                                                                                                                                                                  a second time is potentially much more
                                                                                                                                                                  hazardous than it was the first time around;

people suppose                                  of it? To set foot in Iraq in order to make
                                                President Bush, and President Bush only,
                                                                                                 if it chose to forget about these “serious
                                                                                                 consequences”, might just as well pack its
                                                                                                                                                                  surely there is a time when the use of force
                                                                                                                                                                  in the name of peace is a reasonable action?
                                                happy? I think not.                              bags and leave its stall marked “international                       To mock the Prime Minister, however
Tony Blair’s                                       Following the expulsion of Iraqis from
                                                Kuwait in 1991, the Security Council
                                                                                                 peace and security” for no-one would take it
                                                                                                 seriously again.
                                                                                                                                                                  opposed to war you are, and to pin blame
                                                                                                                                                                  upon him is short-sighted and suggests to
ambition to be?                                 passed resolution 687 - a binding clause
                                                - which said that international peace and
                                                                                                    Once that has happened, we have on
                                                                                                 our hands another North Korea: Saddam
                                                                                                                                                                  me, at least, that the motivation for people
                                                                                                                                                                  to oppose this inevitable war is neither

To start a war for                              security could not be restored to the area
                                                unless Iraq gave up its weapons of mass
                                                                                                 would continue to make weapons of mass
                                                                                                 destruction; he would continue to murder
                                                                                                                                                                  reasonable or rational.
                                                                                                                                                                     Tell me - if war is avoided, will people

the sake of it?”
                                                destruction. Since that point, Saddam has        and terrorise his own people; he would use                       support Blair and Bush in their quest for the
                                                ignored this and many other resolutions,         the much vaunted oil-reserves to make a                          Nobel Peace Prize? That will remain to be
                                                resulting in twelve years of suffering for a     move on the international front; he would                        seen.

                                                                                                   barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper and is
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Idliketoliveinahousewith myfriends:therewouldbe - Surrey ...
6                                                                                       OPINION                                                                           13 February 2003

You have three minutes to read this article, from the very
second I close the door
Ben Supper has seen through UniS’ plans
and knows exactly what this “Vision for
2020” is all about. Fortunately for us, he is
willing to share his insight
                               LAST WEEK’S DISTURBING exposition
                               about the populace of the University
                               turning into poorly-scripted automota
                               from an Antipodean soap opera was
                               received by critical acclaim. At least,
                               this is how I interpret the heartfelt
                               advice from one correspondent that I
                               should seek counselling. Yet still, the
                               closer you look at things on campus,
                               the more life can be seen to imitate
                               art.
                                I’ve been on campus for far too long
                               -- long enough to remember when the
                               Duke of Kent building was nothing
                               but a big square patch of gravel
                               with a minibus parked on it. How
                               slow-witted people can be when the
                               changes around them are so gradual!       “That construction work on the management build-                                                            Above: the centre
                               It’s taken me almost six years to put
                               two and two together, and to take         ing is a feasibility study: they have began turning                                                         point of the Crys-
                                                                                                                                                                                         tal Maze - the
                               a different look at the architecture
                               of recent years. The Duke of Kent         Stag Hill into a Crystal Maze theme park.”                                                                  geodesic figure of
                                                                                                                                                                                              the finale
                               building      is    uncompromisingly
                               ‘industrial’ from behind, with its        is long and thin only because two         prowess of the Sixties and Seventies.      An advantage of this change is that
                               metal panelling, plate glass, and         hundred and three people have to live     Now they’ve started building more          there’ll be a sudden huge demand for
                               exposed ducting. From the front,          there. Guildford Cathedral will be        cuboids in the areas they missed at        stewards to check tickets, to run the
                               though, it’s a different story. It’s      our Medieval zone. Even before the        the West end of campus. To cap it all,     funfair rides, to sell hot dogs, and to
                               sweeping three-dimensional curve,         television programme started, they        they’re poncing up our bars.               clean up piles of sick. Lose no more
                               and its narrow, striated windows.         began turning Stag Hill into a Crystal        Most students won’t remember           sleep, Arts graduates! The University
                               It indicates ‘future’, whilst also        Maze theme park.                          this, but when they initially proposed     has detailed plans for you after all!
                               conveying a maritime theme. Now,           No, hear me out. This one’s brilliant.   the Oak House complex, the artist’s           In spite of the enormous influx
                               what’s one of those doing forty miles     The University could make a fortune.      impressions weren’t populated by           of tourism, it’s quite likely that the
                               inland?                                   Even more than they are making            students. They were full of thin           local residents will continue their
                                Hold that thought. Now, think about      already. That construction work on        people in shirts, sitting at airy tables   reactionary wont, and will just say
                               the twisty passages, awkward angles,      the new Management building is            with laptops and glasses of water. You     ‘No’ to everything. Do you ever
                               footbridges and narrow stairways          actually a feasibility survey. The        could see them mouthing the words          see stalls on the High Street asking
                               around this campus. Consider the lack     builders are actually contestants         ‘Vision!’, ‘Future!’, and ‘Surrey!’.       people to say ‘yes’ to something? Fox
                               of any central meeting place or focal     in the midst of a two-year mystery        Before the bulldozers moved in, we         hunting? Incinerators? Sabre-rattling
                               point. Now, let your eyes drift across    game. They have just a few months         had the Hall Bar: a dingy brown pub        in the Middle East? Plans to knock
                               the lake to that geodesic sphere. Have    left to finish the building and fitting   with red upholstered stools and tacky      down The Drink and replace it with
                               you got it yet? Oh come on! Frenetic      out before they get locked in.            framed Tia Maria posters on the wall.      something even more brutally vulgar?
                               shots of Richard O’Brien running          Unfortunately for the theme park,         For less than two pounds, you could        All such plans are relentlessly sniffed
                               about in an aircraft hangar in tights     they were given the wrong plans, and      grab something called a ‘curry,’           out and opposed, or have already
                               and leopard-skin jacket. Lurid nylon-     the lorry-loads of glass and bricks       which, in today’s political climate,       been exterminated.
                               clad contestants in hot pursuit. The      which were supposed to make the           would cause UN weapons inspectors              The Guildfordian suspicion of
                               Future. The Ocean. The Industrial         park’s centrepiece -- a giant glass       to storm in and raid the kitchen.          change, which has kept the town tidy,
                               Zone. How blind can we be? The            icosahedron revolving on a four               I was once informed that the           peaceful, and pleasantly bourgeois,
                               Millennium House building isn’t           hundred foot pedestal -- ended up as      difference between a pub and a bar         can cut both ways. It is why we
Below: the Ocean zone of the
                               imitating a train at all! The sloping     the School of Management building         is a carpet. The Hall Bar had a carpet.    don’t have a supermarket which is
Crystal Maze theme park at
UniS, more formally known      facades are supposed to echo the          instead. Still, it could have been        Roots does not. In fact Roots, by          open 24 hours a day, or more than
as the Duke of Kent building   Aztec pyramids. The whole shape           worse. It could have been allocated       comparison, is anodyne, noisy, and         a bare minimum of green land left
                                                                         to the School of Arts.                    considerably more expensive. In            on campus when there’s acres of
                                                                              The University is excellently        every other way, it’s an improvement,      space just down the road. In spite
                                                                         placed to be a theme park, with good      but don’t be fooled. It’s only a matter    of having hundreds of thousands of
                                                                         transport links to the M25, Gatwick       of time before the rich Americans          enthusiastic visitors to the Crystal
                                                                         airport, London, and Heathrow (when       start arriving, the servings get even      Maze / Lego theme park every year,
                                                                         SWT haven’t closed the station). The      bigger, and we’re not allowed              Guildford shall remain a town where
                                                                         Vice Chancellor has realised that the     to eat there any more. Then they           you won’t be able to buy a portion of
                                                                         University could make a fast buck if      could fit quite a nifty little indoor      chips, a bland kebab from a van, or
                                                                         we disappeared round the corner to        roller coaster in AP1-4, and tourists      anything for that matter, after 11pm.
                                                                         Manor Farm, and turned the existing       could queue right down the corridor        So, before you get carried away by
                                                                         campus into a theme park: hence the       without being rained on. At last,          the magic world of theme parks on
                                                                         ‘2020 Vision’ thing. We’re already        the University could make millions         your doorstep, take some advice
                                                                         got an excellent Lego World on the        without having to pretend that it’s        from a cheery station announcer:
                                                                         go thanks to the architectural            actually there for any other reason.       ‘Guildford. This is Guildford.’
Idliketoliveinahousewith myfriends:therewouldbe - Surrey ...
13 February 2003                                                          LETTERS TO THE EDITOR                                                                                                                                 7
                                                                          LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
                                                      Letters must be received by 5pm on the Monday before publication to guarantee their presence in the next newspaper. Letters
                                                                                   may be edited for length or clarity | E-mail: barefacts@ussu.co.uk

Dear barefacts                                        it still portrayed the Iraq situation in a                      Dear barefacts,                                               war, but that does not mean that we hide
                                                      (scarily) accurate way. Saddam Hussain and                                                                                    inside our wardrobes crying about it. Even
I wasn’t sure what I found funnier the article        George Bush playing games represents them                       Mike Chambers shares an interesting                           the soldiers on the front line jested about
‘ridiculing’ the risk of war with Iraq or Mr          ‘playing’ war. The games are played in a tit                    opinion. Perhaps also we should aim                           war, despite the fact that the next bullet fired
Chambers letter complaining about this                for tat manner, and so often this is how war                    to ban “Political Theatre”, which often                       could have their name on it.
article. I felt that Mr Chambers completely           unfolds. You bomb us, so we bomb you, so                        mixes comedy with war in order to expose                        Mr Chambers’ letter is the most ridiculous
missed the point of this article on several           therefore you have to bomb us so we can                         reality. Perhaps also we should protest                       excuse for a protest that I have seen in a
different levels.                                     bomb you again. You cheated at cards, so                        against Rowan Atkinson’s Blackadder,                          long time. I’m in the process of working
 First of all it was obviously a Rag week             I’m gonna cheat at cards etc etc.                               which clearly satirised life in the trenches in               out whether he’s trying to be all “high and
article, something not to be taken too                Perhaps by looking at situations as serious                     order to emphasise the weaknesses of war.                     mighty” by listing his titles or whether
seriously, something that was meant to be             as this in a humourous or satirical way we                      According to Mr Chambers’ protest, these                      he is directly representing his society (or
taken in jest. Secondly the satirical nature of       can first laugh, something which we all                         are irreverent and a “mockery” of “millions                   maybe perhaps both). He needs to think
this article I doubt very much that any of the        need to do in these insecure and potentially                    of lives” being lost. Surely we should sit                    about his opinions and how he voices them,
barefacts team take the matter of potential           dangerous times and secondly when we                            back and continually worry about the future                   and perhaps, if the party he represented did
war lightly.                                          reflect on what has made us laugh we can                        wars. Well, why don’t we?                                     that, then maybe they would have a fighting
The media spends a lot of its time ridiculing         perhaps open our eyes and see what a                             I’ll tell you why. We have enough troubles                   chance of ever going back to government.
world leaders such as Saddam Hussain and              ridiculous situation any war is, causing us                     in our life rather than worrying about
George Bush and events such as wars. It’s             to readdress our values and attitudes to the                    another. We are all aware that the situation                  Yours sincerely
a way of looking at something, at pointing            situation. (Please note I am not suggesting                     seems dangerous with Iraq at the moment,                      CHRIS WARD
out the flaws in someone or something                 that just seeing the funny side of an article                   and we are all aware of a possible nuclear                    LITERATURE EDITOR
without just getting angry. The British are a         will create world peace.)
very sarcastic nation (perhaps Mr Chambers            I feel that perhaps Mr Chambers should
                                                                                                                      Dear barefacts,                                               direction following the discovery of an
hasn’t noticed) and often use this kind of            reread the article and try and firstly see how
                                                                                                                                                                                    anagram.
humour to deal with serious issues – take             it can be seen as a reflection of the present
                                                                                                                        I am sorry that the story on the front page                   barefacts has a bit of a tradition when it
a look at comedians such as Rory Bremner              situation with Iraq and secondly to try and
                                                                                                                      of last week’s paper offended Mr Mike                         comes to RAG week: previous RAG week
and you only have to open a newspaper                 take it in the spirit it was intended, ‘The
                                                                                                                      Chambers in such a considerable way. If he                    specials have seen stories relating how the
such as The Guardian or The Telegraph to              spirit of Rag Week’.
                                                                                                                      had managed to suppress his rising bile long                  Vice-Chancellor had completed the alphabet
see the daily ‘cartoon’ overtly ridiculing
                                                                                                                      enough to read on to pages two and three he                   with letters after his name, plans for a plane-
the headline story, be it murder, corruption          Your Sincerely,
                                                                                                                      may have noticed more odd, and possibly                       shaped building to match other transport-
or war!                                               ZOE KILB
                                                                                                                      “shameful” articles. Had he even made it                      related accommodation on campus and
Although the Rag week article’s main                  RAG SUPPORTER
                                                                                                                      further to the editorial on page six he would                 even the sighting of aliens crashing into the
intention was to make you laugh I feel
                                                                                                                      have noted the third piece entitled “Fear not:                Surrey Space Centre.
                                                                                                                      it was all spoof news in aid of publicising                     The problem with humour is that all effort
                                                                                                                      RAG week” which succinctly explained the                      is lost the moment you have to explain a
                                                                                                                      reasoning behind these articles.                              joke, though I do take amusement from the
                                                                                                                        In fact there were yet more clues present                   fact that Mr Chambers failed to realise the
My view on the Zimbabwe situation                                                                                     on the very front page itself. The footer on
                                                                                                                      the front page with the repetitive “rag week
                                                                                                                                                                                    purpose of the story.

                                                                                                                      special” and the side bar that read: “It’s not                Yours,
                                                                                                                      real news - it’s spoof” may have provided                     PAUL WRIGHT
Dear barefacts,                                       crops, and resurrecting democracy. Mugabe
                                                                                                                      more pointers, as may have the second lead                    writing in a personal capacity
                                                      will not change if no-one pushes him to.
                                                                                                                      story relating how USSU were changing
In reply to the letter of the last edition entitled   And dictators can only be overturned by
“politics and cricket article in very bad             internal uprising or international pressure,
taste”. It is good to hear that someone has           or force if necessary. Since Mugabe controls
strong feelings on the topic of Zimbabwe,
since it is fairly apparent that most of the
                                                      the food, he can prevent the people of
                                                      Zimbabwe being able to rise against him,
                                                                                                                      USSU safety staff are “Neanderthals”
world is prepared to sit idly by and ignore           so the only solution is political pressure.                     Dear barefacts,
the suffering of Zimbabwe. At present the             In implementing full sanctions against                                                                                        of this, but if you’re not, be warned: security
ruling Zanu-PF party under Mugabe is                  Zimbabwe whilst distributing food packets                       I have been a student at this University for                  is comprised of brainless incompetent
denying basic human rights to anyone who              independently of Mugabe and his forces,                         three years and there has been one thing                      meatheads who are more concerned with
opposes him, the MDC (opposition party)               his control of the situation is removed and                     that has persistently annoyed me during                       applying unnecessary force than safety,
says its members are left out of the food             he must either move toward democracy                            this time: security at the union. Last FNO,                   consistently refusing to listen to reason.
relief programs, and many are tortured. The           and compliance or face being ousted. This                       two people were forcibly removed from the                       Not all security staff are like this but sadly
government has not imported nearly enough             is the type of thing that the UN (sorry, I                      union without reason, allowed to pay to get                   they are in the minority. Mostly they are
food to feed its population, and according            didn’t mean NATO in the original article) is                    back in and then forcibly removed again                       oafs who need to realise that they cannot get
the BBC 7 million now face starvation.                there for, with military support to monitor                     without given a refund, and then one was                      away with throwing their weight around like
Meanwhile the farms whose owners have                 the situation, and prevent Mugabe moving                        thrown about outside the union even though                    bullies in a playground. The fundamental
been forced out in the land grabs lie empty           to using violence to maintain control. I can                    he was just standing around not causing any                   distinction that their tiny minds cannot make
and unused.                                           see no way out of the situation without                         problems. The most worrying thing about                       is that having the right to do something does
   This is the state of a country whose               international involvement. Of course it will                    accounts like this is their frequency; reports                not necessitate doing it; security do have
leader is acting as a dictator, in which              be more difficult to motivate other countries                   of security at this union being unnecessarily                 the right refuse entrance, and they do have
no opposition is allowed, and no one is               to involve themselves in a country in which                     heavy-handed, unfair or just plain stupid                     the right to remove people from the union,
allowed to film the suffering. So to sit by           they have no ‘national interests’, but that                     are far too common, it’s almost as though                     however this does not automatically justify
and do nothing, besides quibbling over                should have no bearing on it. Mugabe must                       behaviour like this is adopted as a matter of                 doing it.
cricket matches, is criminal. Mugabe has              be stopped.                                                     policy. The student population, however, are                    I ask all students to report all incidents of
effectively performed an ethnic cleansing                I hope I have outlined my views more                         comparatively non-aggressive, incidents of                    security being out of line, no matter how
of white Zimbabweans, removed hopes of                clearly, and I invite replies if anyone can                     domestic violence are rare and most people                    minor. Let USSU know that unwarranted
real democracy and forced his leadership              see a realistic alternative solution to the                     who go to the union on a night out have                       acts of physical intimidation on the part of
by restricting food rations. Mugabe is                problems in Zimbabwe.                                           only peaceful intentions. Unfortunately the                   security occur too often and that this kind of
showing no signs of changing his policies,                                                                            Neanderthals who work security don’t see it                   behaviour is not acceptable.
no signs of acting to improve the situation.          Regards,                                                        this way and feel the need to exercise their
Zimbabwe should be importing more grain               PHILIP HOWARD                                                   power liberally and unjustly. Those students                  Yours,
that just to feed its people, replanting              NEWS EDITOR
                                                                                                                      reading this will probably already be aware                   TWYFORD RESIDENT
Idliketoliveinahousewith myfriends:therewouldbe - Surrey ...
8                                                                                   GU2 ON 107.3FM                                                                         13 February 2003

This is the sound of Guildford:
It is now the final week of FM, but GU2 shows no sign of abating as it se-
cures an outside broadcast from the Friary Centre and an army of support-
ers reach for the [1350]am dial. Rich Watts reports

                   You’d be forgiven that the folks over at GU2 had           SHOW PROFILE: PHIL & SABEENA
                   done enough these last few weeks: exclusive air-           What’s up? It’s Phil and Sabeena here, some of the
                   play of new albums, balloon launches, outside              latest recruits to GU2. We were asked to present
                   broadcasts from Roots, making Barry Norman                 the Late Breakfast Show, hopefully, for our
                   do the calling for an interview, more competitions         zany ideas, but most likely for our ability to talk
                   than you can shake a stick at and a presence on            continuously about Justin Timberlake (actually,
                   campus that leaves few unaware of the frequency.           that’s just Sabeena)!
                   But no - there was plenty more up their sleeve.             Regulars on the show include ‘We Love The 90s’,
                   This week sees them, therefore, broadcasting               a retrospective look at some of the best songs from
                   live from the Friary Centre between 12 - 4pm on            back in the day. We’ve already had such gems as
                   Valentine’s Day. Setting their stall on the first floor    Shaggy’s ‘Oh Carolina’ and Bryan Adams’ six-
                   - right by the Nike shop - the GU2 crew will be            and-a-half minute rendition of ‘Everything I Do (I
                   giving away loads of Valentine’s goodies, catching         Do It For You)’. We had GU2 presenters dancing
                   up with all the latest offers with the help of some        and singing around the studio to that one, even
                   store-managers (Topshop and HMV included) and              Judge Mental was playing the air guitar!
                   entertaining the unsuspecting public of Guildford.           We breathe new life into the TV schedule and
                     Of course, if you would like to come along and           give you our recommendations, which always
                   support the GU2’ers, you are more than welcome             include regulars: ‘The Salon’, ‘Hollyoaks’ and
                   to pop down - who knows - you might even win a             ‘Eastie-Beasties’ aka ‘Eastenders’! We’ve had
                   signed copy of Kelly Osbourne’s latest single.             numerous competitions, including ‘Name that
                     Other than that, the FM period is finally drawing        Tone?’ (possibly the most annoying thing to grace
                   to a close and the station will continue to broadcast      the airwaves at nine o’clock in the morning), and          GU2 live from the Friary Centre
                   on 1350AM. Though we would never claim that
                   this is the best reception in the world, it really
                                                                              we had a whole week of competitions dedicated
                                                                              to the Cheeky Girls! One lucky winner managed                         12-4pm
                   is worth persevering on your hands and knees
                   for those crucial few minutes in order to take
                                                                              to win their autographs and their CD! To be
                                                                              in with a chance to win some prizes be sure to                   St. Valentine’s Day

                                                                                                                                       wwwdot
                   advantage of that one point of reception in your           listen to Late Breakfast this week as we start up
                   room and thus remove your withdrawal symptoms              the soon-to-be-all-time-favourite ‘Sounds of the
                   you will more-than-likely be experiencing next             Campus Ground’. Make sure you pay attention to
                   Wednesday.                                                 all of those strange noises you hear on your travels
                     All that is left to say is that the 2nd birthday party   around campus!

                                                                                                                                        gu2dot
                   of GU2 will be on Tuesday of wk.5 and you are                So, keep listening to GU2, it’s the smartest thing
                   more than welcome to come to the party.                    you’ll ever do, apart from graduating, obviously!

                   Who’s on at what time: the full schedule
                                                                                                                                         codot
                                                                                                                                            uk
                   Below is the full weekly schedule, colour coded to the best of our ability in order to give you an idea of
                   what sort of music each DJ will be playing. If you don’t happen to have a copy of barefacts available to
                   check the schedule then log on to www.gu2.co.uk and have a look: all the details will be right there.

                   107.3FM      monday                tuesday            wednesday            thursday              friday             saturday             sunday
                   06:00
                                                            Judge Mental’s FM Breakfast Show
                   07:00
                   08:00                        THE STUDENT BROADCAST NETWORK SHOW WITH NEIL GRAYSON
                                                                                                                                        THE GU2 WEEKEND RECOVERY
                   09:00                                      Philip Brown and Sabeena Sabir
                                                                                                                                                 WITH   CHRIS
                   10:00
                                                                   NEWS WITH XAN PHILLIPS
                   11:00                                                                                                              Paul Wright
                                                                                                                                                         Anthony Deluola
                   12:00                                                Society Lunch
                                                                                                                                        Christine
                   13:00
                                                       THE LUNCH WITH BIG AL & THE SEX MACHINE                                                            SUNDAY ROAST
                   14:00
                                                                                                                                      Naomi Facey
                   15:00       Chris, Jay &       Amelia Lefroy          Chris, Jay &       Jay & Amelia       Chris & Amelia                             The Christian
                                 Amelia                                    Amelia                                                                            Show
                                                                                                                                                                              S
                   16:00
                                                                                                                                       Jay Butcher                                pecialist
                   17:00                                         THE EG EARLY EVENING SHOW
                                                                                                                                                         THE UK STUDENT
                   18:00                                          The Weekday Vibe with P                                               mix@six
                   19:00     Just a rock show          Kaz                V & Kwab           The J-Team         Cyclone dance         Xin Xin Chris
                                                                                                                                                          Beats & Pieces
                                                                                                                                                                              P   laylist
The full sched-    20:00                          Beats & Pieces            Arun               Classic          Jay & Woody            Hall Take 2
ule for the FM
period, complete
                   21:00     Cyclone dance        Sex Mickcheese   Oli Horton                                   FRIDAY NIGHT          CHILLOUT WITH       The essence of      D   ance
with weekend       22:00     Kerrang radio        Sex MickCheese Barfly in session Barfly in session
                                                                   A. Bibiskas                                KISS WITH BAM BAM      STEVE JOHNSTONE           Jazz
listings. To see
                                                                                                                                                                              C
                   23:00                           The Presence               CMJ
who is currently                                                                           The Dark Side                              Chris Chang       MALCOLM TAYLOR            heese
on air at any      00:00
time, check out    01:00                    THE STUDENT BROADCAST NETWORK LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG PILLING                                    CAGL
the website:
www.gu2.co.uk      02:00                                                                                                                  ACM                                 S   BN
Idliketoliveinahousewith myfriends:therewouldbe - Surrey ...
13 February 2003                                                  SURREY ALUMNI SOCIETY                                                                                                      9

A not very definitive history of barefacts [issues 1-100]
                                                                Continuing our ‘Blast from the Past’ series, Phil Verity [elec. eng. ‘71] covers
                                                                the somewhat colourful history of the very publication you hold in your hands:
                                                                barefacts [issue 1050]

IT IS 1968 and the recently chartered                                                                                                               Show [May 69] and caused uproar as this
University of Surrey, formed from Battersea                                                                                                         coincided with the Arts School sit-in (this
College of Advanced Technology is about                                                                                                             was the sixties) and we were less than
to relocate to the virgin site of Stag Hill at                                                                                                      sympathetic to the County Council. (From
Guildford. The migration would take some                                                                                                            here, my personal involvement reduced
three years to complete.                                                                                                                            following my Part I’s and Prof. Lovering
    Early in the summer term of ‘68, a                                                                                                              suggesting a degree was not an optional
lunchtime Students’ Union meeting in the                                                                                                            extra.)
Battersea Great Hall raised concerns on the                                                                                                            Robin took over from Brian, and Tony
split and its affect on the students. At the post                                                                                                   Allan joined the crew. This team welcomed
meeting SU Exec. the outgoing President                                                                                                             the first edition of Grapevine [GV] (scandal,
for 67/68, Bob Matthews suggested a single                                                                                                          smut, innuendo, rumour) and BF’s first brush
page news-sheet, and set about producing                                                                                                            with solicitors following an infamous letter
the first issue. Intended to bridge the 25-                                                                                                         from Fred Stride [Mech. Eng 70] and BF’s
mile gap between the two halves of the                                                                                                              racing correspondent. Two editions later
University, it would contain information                                                                                                            some innocuous Playboy cartoons nearly
about Club and Society activities and                                                                                                               got us reported for pornography. Tony Allan
general Student Union notices. This was                                                                                                             took over in Autumn 69 and his first edition
to help compensate for the difficulties in                                                                                                          caused the catering staff walk-out with his
attending Student Union General Meetings,                                                                                                           “sloppin’ in” editorial to commemorate
and also to fill the vacuum left by the usual                                                                                                       the opening of the Library restaurant. GV
summer demise of the Surrey Guardian. (An                                                                                                           got larger and more puerile; photomontage
organ that had a high opinion of itself, but                                                                                                        became popular, and the Basil Brush,
appeared erratically and usually well after                                                                                                         Almost Animal and Angel cartoon series
the reported events.)                                                                                                                               appeared. [BB referred to the bursar Brig.
   In summer term ‘68, Rob Thomasson                                                                                                                Rush and should not be confused with any
[Maths 70] had been elected Students’ Union                                                                                                         foxy TV character]. With Stuart Wilson as
Vice President (Guildford) and Janice Prior                                                                                                         President, criticism of SU Exec. were less
VP (Battersea), and the University was still                                                                                                        tolerated, with comment in BF infrequent
in Battersea Park Road. Rob agreed at the                                                                                                           and censorship common. Martyn Denney
launch to do the second edition and I, being                                                                                                        took over from Tony, followed by Roger
the Ents. Chairman, foolishly agreed to help.                                                                                                       King, where three editions were produced for
It was Rob who named it Bare Facts; and it          Students’ Union (legal advice and common        Chris Greenwood [Humanities 70] and we          the County Show; and now offset litho was
appeared each week from its faithful band           sense), the mysterious and lovely Djinn         achieved a working relationship, before the     tried. As Surrey Grauniad and later Polemic
of helpers including myself, Phil Verity            (who would sometimes do electric typing         SG’s usual summer relapse.                      reappeared, BF reverted to its original role
[Elec. Eng. 71], Robin Bradbeer [Elec. Eng.         if we were good), and Mr Paynter (for             During this time BF was invaluable (well      as a newsheet; a policy continued by Barbie,
perpetually] with illustrations by Whistling        tolerance and good humour.)                     we gave it away free) in helping maintain       Chris and Ian.
Walsall Fred (AR Pipes). The technology                The original team was joined by Brian        the sense of community as the building             Why did we do it? Just for the fun
was crude, slow and unforgiving. All text           ‘Brain’ Ellesmore [Elec. Eng. 69] for           continued and the University rules and          of producing something that informed,
had to be cut into ‘onion skin’ stencils            graphics, humour, and moods; Rupert Glover      arrangements were under constant change         inflamed, entertained and irritated; when
using a ribbon-less typewriter; and the hand        [Physics 71]; Murray Butcher [Maths 70]         - causing more than a little friction between   news existed we reported, where it didn’t
drawings scratched onto the same medium.            and a disproportionate number of women for      managers, academic staff, and students.         we made it up. [We worked on BF unaware
Skins were then stretched over the drum of          moral support. BF began its rise to fame with   Throughout BF tried to help overcome these      of the dangers of turning out like Maxwell
a Roneo ink-duplicating machine before              the “Running Man” edition, and included         difficulties; occasionally with success.        or Murdoch.] By a Thursday midnight,
hand cranking to produce each sheet. No             Rupe’s Poet’s Corner, Jim Smith’s Inside           On Murray’s resignation Brian became         tired and ink-stained, with 100’s of copies
one knew in which colour(s) the final               Page and ace reporter (a gross distortion)      Editor. Within 24 hours of the academically     of drivel it seemed pointless. On a Friday
copy would appear owing to our technique            Fil Verity’s “articles”. Unfortunately the      justified purchase of a scanner by the          morning with all copies gone, the sight of
of begging, borrowing, or “reallocating”            Battersea end ‘collapsed’ and BF became a       Physics department, we put it to proper use     a laughing reader, and no invite from the
underused resources for the common good.            wholly Guildford production.                    by scanning graphics onto the skins, and        VC to the top floor of Senate House, the
We soon acquired a folding machine and BF              Murray took over as Editor from Rob,         even better, photographs. BF produced two       world was .... only six days from the next
went from stapled foolscap to folded double         and developed and refined the style - which     live editions at the Guildford County           deadline.
foolscap with inserts.                              including more frequent clashes with
  Over the summer of 1968 about half the            “authority”. Rupe’s poems caused more than
University, mainly Engineering, Physical            one upset in the higher reaches of Senate
                                                                                                    Chronology of editors [Edition numbers in brackets]
Sciences and Mathematics (the statistic of          House; though Dr. D.M.A. Leggett, the Vice
                                                                                                    Bob Mathews [1], Rob Thomasson [2-16], Murray Butcher [17-28], Brian Ellsmore
1200 men to 40 women students stays in              Chancellor, was generally supportive of our
                                                                                                    [29-31], Pete Bramwell [32], Robin Bradbeer [33-35 + 7 specials], Tony Allan [36-44],
my mind) moved to Stag Hill. With Wayne             objectives, even if the means exasperated
                                                                                                    Martyn Denney [45-57], Roger King [58-68 +1 special], Barbie Cockburn [69-80],
Barnacle [Chem Eng?] as the President,              him.
                                                                                                    Chris Peat [81-91], Ian Kaye [92-100+].
Janice was to produce the Battersea BF                 A major effort, for the first Guildford
                                                                                                    The above was based on the history by Murray Butcher and Robin Bradbeer in edition
and Rob the same in Guildford. Five weeks           Festival [director Rick Welton], saw a
                                                                                                    100 (30 June 1971); a valedictory time for many of us. It is supplemented by my own rosy
into the autumn term our machinery was              bumper edition, stuffed with a full festival
                                                                                                    recollections up to issue 35 and conversations with some of us who are still alive, including
found and reassembled with the assistance           programme and a wad of booking forms
                                                                                                    Murray, Chris Chelu, Rupert Glover, and Brian Ellsmore. I have tried where possible to
of Steve Spill [Elec. Eng. 71] (they would          (known forever as a Packet of Weltons).
                                                                                                    identify the school and year of graduation. Apologies for errors.
not work for anyone else.) Production could         With the University split between Battersea
now begin in earnest, in the Students’ Union        and Guilford , BF was the only medium to        © Phil Verity January 2003.
on floor 3 [?] of Senate House. A special           give a complete rundown on the Students’        Since graduating Phil Verity has worked in engineering and management in commercial,
mention for the great support we received           Union Presidential elections. Our arch rival    aerospace and defence companies, hoping but without success that some biologist (he
from Maureen Stevens as Clerk to the                the Surrey Grauniad reappeared, edited by       married Ruth Warn [Human Biol. 71]) would perfect an anti-ageing potion.
Idliketoliveinahousewith myfriends:therewouldbe - Surrey ...
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