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The Spirit
Small daily actions,
done purposefully,
can infuse more
joy and satisfaction
into your life.
by Janet Lee
THE HEALING
POWER
OF RITUAL
84 e v e r y day h a p p i n e s s
084-087_LW_Power of Ritual_SHIP.indd 84 12/1/21 3:47 PM
S avoring an aromatic cup
of tea as you watch the
sunrise. Taking a moment
before eating to appreciate the
food in front of you. Stepping
MY
FAVORITE RITUAL
“Each year on my birthday,
I make sure I get in a workout
as a way to honor the good
health that brought me to
outside before bed to look at the this day and help ensure that
stars. These actions—aka rituals— I get to celebrate another
are small ways of extracting more one.” —Janet Lee, Prairie
meaning and pleasure out of life. Village, Kansas
More than just rote habits,
rituals are imbued with intention.
Thrive Tip
“A ritual is mindful and that’s why
Enhance your New
it’s beneficial. You’re making the The New Year is an excellent time
Year’s resolutions
decision to engage with it and for a ritual that expresses gratitude
by creating a mindful
you’re also likely trying to do it as for everything that happened
routine around the
a type of self-care,” says Sadi Fox, during the prior 365 days or one
making of your list.
PhD, a psychologist and owner of that helps you release things
See yourself achieving
Flourish Psychology in Brooklyn, you’ve been holding onto that no
them and think
New York. “Any time we tap into a longer serve you. Then you can
about how you’ll feel
form of mindfulness it’s beneficial. It set intentions for what’s to come,
when you do. Then
helps us feel better about ourselves says Thompson. (For a New Year’s
create a step-by-step
and it may help relieve stress or ritual you can use to set the tone for
plan to get there.
help us cope with anxiety.” 2022, turn to page 87.)
Whether you’re doing them Keep these tips in mind to create
to start or end the day, “seal” in more powerful rituals:
an experience, show your love
for family or just to give yourself Find the Right Time They
a minute to relax, rituals can be can be performed daily, monthly,
a powerful way to check in and yearly—whenever. “Early in the
keep yourself on course. “We’re morning, midday and at night
constantly seeking ‘the way’ in before bed are times of the day
life,” says Gin Love Thompson, that are naturally protected
PhD, a psychotherapist in Orlando, [quieter and not as busy], so it’s
Florida. “Rituals help us thrive by easier to engage in a ritual,” says
setting an intention.” Maybe you’re Fox. If you’re a morning person,
appreciating your life or even just think about how you want to start
a beautiful day, vowing to be your morning and what intention
done with a past lover or you want to set for the rest of the
MY take new steps toward a day. Is it with meditation, prayer or
FAVORITE RITUAL goal. “I think it causes exercise, for example?
“Every morning I get my second cup a shift and that “A lot of people’s rituals are
of coffee at my local coffee shop. I’ve intention moves into around getting their first cup of
become friends with the baristas there the subconscious. coffee or having their breakfast,”
and we banter and joke around about our It’s more powerful says Fox. She has created a
outfits, the news, or the day’s plans.
than an affirmation. feel-good ritual in the evening:
I started this ritual during the pandemic as
You can have an stretching her hips before bed. “It
a reason to get out of the house every day.
elaborate ritual, helps me feel like I’m winding down
Even if I didn’t talk to anyone else, I knew
but if the intention and I’m doing it for myself. There’s
I could at least have that interaction
to get the day off to a good start isn’t behind it, you’re a mind-body connection and it tells
and not feel isolated.” —Holly just putting on a my brain that we’re approaching
St. Lifer, New York City performance. It’s all sleep.” Other good times for a
about the intention and ritual are around birthdays or
being in the moment. That’s anniversaries of big events, such as
where our power is.” a marriage, graduation or death.
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The Spirit
Even something as
simple as making
the bed with your
partner can be a
ritual that enhances
your connection.
Be Present If you’re not paying Get Grounded “People can be
attention, you’re just doing an overly emotional, but not in the
activity, there’s no “ritual” involved. right emotions,” says Thompson.
Making dinner for extended family We worry, become fearful, ruminate,
MY
once a month can easily veer catastrophize, get anxious, all these
FAVORITE RITUAL
into chore territory if you’re emotions and thoughts that happen
“Every night before bed I start my
prayers while brushing my teeth. Then thinking about everything in our head (and sometimes our
I go out front and say good night to my else you could be doing. But bodies, too). A ritual that helps you
dad (the moon), my mom (the brightest being aware of the prepping, get grounded—feeling centered and
star) and other loved ones who’ve cooking and cleaning it stable and in the moment—can help
passed (all the other stars). I come in, takes while you’re doing it take you out of that heady, spiraling
make sure all the doors are locked and and focusing on the love you sensation that comes with many
turn off all the lights. Then I can go have for them and how much feelings. “I love to sit by a tree and
to bed.” —Andy Nielsen,
everyone appreciates what think about the roots going down
Sacramento, California
you’re doing will help you get deep into the ground,” says Fox.
more pleasure and meaning out “Being in touch with nature is very
of the event. grounding for me. If you can’t get
86 e v e r y day h a p p i n e s s
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out and sit on the ground, you can
still close your eyes and take some A Happy Way To
deep breaths while you’re thinking Start the New Year!
about being in nature and sitting
next to a tree.”
For many people, the turn of out while visualizing all the
Do a Self-Check A glass of the calendar in January is a negative energy from 2021
red wine at the end of the week, fresh start. File last year away leaving your body; sage your
a decadent cupcake on your and start again with renewed home or office by lighting a
birthday—these are enjoyable rituals energy. Making New Year’s small bundle of dried sage,
to mark ends and beginnings, but resolutions is a way to celebrate which kills bacteria, to clear out
if it turns into a glass of red wine that “fresh start” energy—still negative energy; or just do some
or cupcake at the end of every day ripe with possibility—and good old-fashioned breathwork,
or whenever you’re stressed-out, set intentions for the coming thinking about drawing in
that ritual may be headed down the months. They can be powerful, positive light and love with
wrong path, toward being a coping but they’re often short-lived. each inhale and letting go of
mechanism. “That glass of wine Psychotherapist Gin Love any darkness or negativity with
before bed may feel good and help Thompson, PhD, suggests each exhale.
you fall asleep quickly, but it also coming into the year with less Thompson likes to kick off
messes with your circadian rhythms rigidity. “I think the powerful the New Year with a body scan
during the night,” says Fox. That way of looking at it is going meditation: Find a comfortable
cupcake is adding empty calories into the New Year without an spot to rest where you won’t
that your body might not need at 10 agenda,” she says. “Yes, we have be interrupted or tempted to
p.m. Rituals around food and drink our goals and we know what fall asleep. Lie faceup and take
also have the potential to set up we want to accomplish but the a few deep breaths to ground
unhealthy relationships that can be ritual should be around where yourself. “You go from head
hard to break. we give thanks and welcome in to toe, listening to your body,
what is ours to receive. We don’t letting it relax and asking what
know what that is yet. When we it needs,” says Thompson. Start
open ourselves to that divine at the top of your head and work
energy and welcome it, amazing your way down through the
things can happen that surpass neck, shoulders, arms, hands,
what our agendas are.” chest, belly, pelvis, legs, ankles
Before you can welcome in and feet, ending at your toes,
the new, Thompson says you taking slow, deep breaths as you
have to clear out the old. You go. End the scan with a few deep
can do that in many ways. You breaths, this time breathing in
may write down what you’re possibility and positivity and
happy to say goodbye to and letting the exhale anchor these
burn the list in a fire; work deep within you.
Creating
resolutions can
Create rituals that have
be a ritual if you’re
meaning for you, not just intentional
something a friend or a and take time to
social media influencer
told you to do. see yourself
achieving them.
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The Spirit
HOW TO
LIVE WELL These experts share
their best advice for
thriving. Here’s how they
make the magic happen
in their own lives.
Create a Boundary
“I love my end-of-work routine
where I take a walk around the
block. This has truly helped me
separate work from life and
connect with what’s in front of
me, which ultimately reduces
burnout, irritability and stress.”
Katie Miles, LMFT, a San Diego–
based licensed psychotherapist
and the co-founder of the online
journaling and habit tracking
tool Habitbetter
96 living well
096-097_LW_Ways to Keep Thriving_SHIP.indd 96 12/1/21 3:45 PM
Clean Your Slate Feed Your Soul
“I’d love to say I start every “I exercise every day, eat very
day with yoga or that I listen to well, take a few supplements and
inspiring podcasts, but thriving I spend five to 15 minutes a day
for me comes from maintaining sitting and looking out the window
Stick to It connections and relationships at the trees and trying to get out
“For me it’s about being and gracing myself with a of my head and see the real world.
consistent with my exercise. It’s fresh start every day.” —Diana I’m a big reader and I have crazy
about checking a box and I like Direiter, PhD, a licensed clinical good friendships. I also spend a lot
to check boxes. I work out four psychologist, associate professor of time by myself and all of those
to five times a week and then I of psychology and the dean of nourish me.” —Kathy Sisson-Cross,
also go for walks even if it’s just faculty at Lesley University in certified health coach in Bermuda
15 minutes a day.” Cambridge, Massachusetts Dunes, California
Anthony Wall, personal trainer Heat It Up Stay Curious
and senior director of global “Sweating is a big way to stay “My family and I are curious about
business development for the healthy. It keeps the detox pathways everything. We question things and
American Council on Exercise open, lengthens telomeres and may we engage in deep conversations,
improve longevity [by potentially especially during our daily walks.
reducing oxidative damage]. That’s We also play games and music
why saunas are so important. I like together.” —Dean Sherzai, MD,
to warm up through heat therapy or PhD, MPH, co-author of The
exercise. I do think the heat in a hot 30-Day Alzheimer’s Solution
yoga class is a little bit addicting... in Loma Linda, California
you feel renewed.” —Sara Peternell,
holistic nutritionist in the Denver area
Play More
“I keep dreaming and keep playing.
One of the most self-sabotaging
things we do to ourselves is stop
playing. Whether it’s making art or
riding a bike or whatever gives you
that feeling you had when you were
a kid, whatever you have to do to Walk and Learn
get to that place, that’s where the “I’m constantly learning and
magic happens. That’s thriving in I maximize that when
life.” —Gin Love Thompson, PhD, I do physical activity. I listen
poet, author and psychotherapist in to podcasts and educate
Orlando, Florida myself about ways to improve
A common theme cognitive health and longevity
here is taking time
for yourself, whether
Make Self-Care a Priority while I do my steady-state
it’s through exercise, “My work-life balance is my key cardio training, namely fast
healthy boundaries to thriving. I don’t overwork. I walking. Doing cognitive
or being creative.
take breaks when I need them activity during exercise
and prioritize things outside of is incredibly beneficial to
work. I know I won’t be beneficial the brain.”
to patients if I’m burnt out and
I have an ethical obligation to Richard S. Isaacson, MD, director
be there for clients. Don’t skip of the Center for Brain Health
self-care.” —Sadi Fox, PhD, and the Alzheimer’s Prevention
therapist and owner of Flourish Clinic at Florida Atlantic
Psychology in Brooklyn, New York University in Boca Raton
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