Positive and Protective: Preparing for Puberty - Department of Communities (Child Safety Services) Foster and Kinship Carer Training
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Positive and Protective: Preparing for Puberty Department of Communities (Child Safety Services) Foster and Kinship Carer Training
Workshop Outline Time Activity 10 min Introduction 5 min Sexuality 20 min Social learning 10 min Barriers to sexuality education 20 min Puberty Break Break 40 min Supporting and addressing sexuality issues 35 min Answering questions 10 min Conclusion © Family Planning Queensland 2010
What is sexuality “Sexuality is an integral part of life and it influences personality. It may be denied, repressed or used effectively but it is part of ourselves. Sexuality is a process commencing at birth and ending only with death ... Sexuality is culturally defined and thus influenced by family, peers, religion, economics, school, media, law and science.” The Clarity Collective The Clarity Collective.(1990).Taught Not Caught: Self Esteem in Sex Education. Melbourne: Spiral Educational Resources. © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Sexuality components Spiritual Social Religion Personal background Feelings Friendships Values Marriage/partnerships Beliefs Culture Legal aspects Physical Emotional Reproduction Learned behaviour Birth control Attitudes Pregnancy Education Sexual response Expression Growth and development Feelings Greenberg, Bruess, & Mullen (1992) Body image © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Sex is what we do . Sexuality is who we are. Anna Freud, Daughter of Sigmund and Martha Freud, 1895-1982 © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Social learning Sexuality is a gradual process of learning and development which occurs in the context of society and culture. Society School Peers Family Child © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Whose job is it anyway? Children and young people in care have poorer sexual health outcomes than their peers not in care. … care providers and service providers experienced a great deal of confusion, fear and lack of power with regards to whose responsibility it was for helping young people to access sexual health services. Farmer et al (2000) © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Physical changes Both Boys Girls • nipples enlarge and • growth spurt • chest and shoulders darken broaden • weight increase • pelvis becomes wider • body becomes more • pubic hair • vaginal discharge muscular increases • underarm hair • penis and testicles • increase of fat on enlarge and darken breasts, hips and • face changes thighs shape • sperm is produced • breasts develop • sweating increases • ejaculation occurs • genitals become darker in colour • skin becomes oilier • voice becomes deeper • ovulation begins, • acne may develop • facial and chest hair followed by develops menstruation © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Emotional and social changes Emotional Social changes changes • start to assert • mood swings independence from parent/carer • question identity • express need for • risk taking privacy behaviour • recognise peer • preoccupation with group bonds and rapid body changes behaviour codes • test ability to attract boy/girlfriend © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Puberty facts • First signs of puberty • Girls – growth spurt, breast development, pubic and underarm hair • Boys – growth spurt, genitals grow and darken, pubic hair • Both experience weight gain around time of puberty • Breast development • Soreness / tenderness with development • One breast may grow first or is slightly larger • No right age for a girl to start wearing a bra • Boys may experience temporary breast development due to hormone levels © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Period hygiene • Pad or tampon choice depends on comfort, activities or time of day • No physical reason why young girls cannot use tampons • Reinforce need to change pads/tampons regularly • tampons 2-4 hours • pads overnight • Important to wash hands before changing pads or tampons and bathe each day • Pad/tampon disposal in bin or specialised receptacle – do not flush • Period preparation – • keep supply of pads and underwear in school bag • know where to access pads and tampons at school and who to ask for help • practice wearing a pad © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Erections • Boys experience erections from birth • More frequent when puberty is reached • Can happen for no reason or at an inappropriate time • Reassure that while embarrassing, it is unlikely anyone will notice • Preparation – discuss strategies for managing unwanted erections • think of something boring • wear clothing that makes erections less noticeable • sit down • ignore and continue with current activity • First ejaculation: at approximately 12-14 years © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Wet dreams • A wet dream is when a male ejaculates semen while asleep • Happens in response to the body making sperm • All boys will have a wet dream at some time, with most beginning at about 13 or 14 years • Preparation – • reassure that wet dreams are normal • reassure they have not wet the bed • the amount of semen is approximately 5 mls, so won’t make much of a mess and is cleaned up easily © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Masturbation • Nearly all boys and many girls masturbate at some time during adolescence • An adolescent’s sex drive can be very strong • It is one way to gain sexual pleasure and release of sexual tension, without risks associated with early sexual intercourse • Healthy as long as it happens in private and without feelings of guilt © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Three What Questions 1. What is the behaviour? 2. What is the behaviour communicating? 3. What strategies will help meet the need? © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Scenario 1 Betty is 10 years old. Until recently she lived with her biological father and brother. She has been in care for 3 months. Recently, Betty has been spending a lot of time in the toilet and bathroom at home. School reports that she has been going to the school nurse to get pads for when she has her periods. At home she has never talked about periods or used the pads from the bathroom cupboard. © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Scenario 2 Robert is 15 years old. Recently he has started talking about his girlfriend Trudi (14), another young person in emergency temporary care at the same foster home. When doing the washing a few days ago a condom fell out of his pocket and into the wash. Going past his room one evening you notice his door is shut and you hear him and Trudi together. © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Scenario 3 Alberto is 12 years old and has a mild intellectual disability. He has been in foster care for ten years. Alberto likes to spend a lot of time on the computer, especially surfing the internet. Recently the house received a bill for a website called xtra blu addressed to Alberto. © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Scenario 4 Ben, aged 13, spends a lot of time alone in the bedroom he shares with two other foster children. He often shuts and locks the door. When the foster carer knocks on the door he tells her to go away. She has noticed lately that he is putting his sheets and pyjamas in to the washing basket to be washed every morning. © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Scenario 5 Aesha, aged 12, likes to read and play the piano. She has been in care for five years with her little brother, Dano. After dinner Aesha approaches you privately and asks how she will know if she is gay. She says that sometimes she thinks she would like to kiss her best friend Suzie. © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Aim to be approachable • Let children know it is always ok to ask • Being embarrassed is ok • Be honest if you don’t know the answer • Be proactive if your child doesn’t ask • Be positive, brief and factual • Provide information at the person’s level of understanding • Attempt to address all questions no matter how silly or confronting they may appear • Find out what they are really asking • Respond positively to questions © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Positive responses to difficult questions • That’s a very good question and I’m glad you asked. • That’s a very good question, what made you think of that? • That’s a really good thing to talk about as soon as we get home, ok? • I don’t know the answer, let’s find out together. © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Techniques for answering questions The straight answer This technique gives an honest, straightforward answer. Q What is a homosexual? A A homosexual is a person who is attracted to people of the same sex. Continuum This technique is useful for value-based questions. Some people believe . . ., whilst others believe . . . . Most people's beliefs fall somewhere in between. Q Is abortion ok? A Some people believe that abortion is never ok. Others believe it is the woman’s right to choose. Others believe it depends on the circumstances. Turning the question around This technique is also useful for value-based questions. Q What is the best age to have sex? A That‘s a good question. What do you think? I don’t know It is honest and acceptable to admit lack of knowledge, however make a plan, including a time frame, to learn the answer. © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Language of sexuality • Scientific language • designed for precision, eg, cervix, coitus • Childhood language • designed to hide embarrassment and avoid confrontation, eg, number 2, wee wee • Common discourse • designed to communicate information plainly, eg, making love, having sex • Slang • describing vigorously and sometimes demeaningly, eg, fuck, cock, slut, wanker © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Looking after yourself – it’s important! • Be aware of your stressors or triggers • Attend to physical, emotional, spiritual, creative, and interpersonal well-being • Seek personal counselling/therapy • Nurture yourself • Seek balance between work, rest and play • Maintain meaning and connection, with yourself, family, friends, and others © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Bibliography Brennan, H (2008). Settings and Solutions: Supporting access to sexuality and relationship information for children in care. Brisbane: Family Planning Queensland. The Clarity Collective. (1990).Taught Not Caught: Self Esteem in Sex Education. Melbourne: Spiral Educational Resources. Crime and Misconduct Commission Queensland. (2004). Protecting Children: An Inquiry into the Abuse of Children in Foster Care. Brisbane: Crime and Misconduct Commission Queensland. Darvill, W. & Powell, K. (1995). What Shall We Tell the Children? A guide for parents and teachers. Rydalmere: Hodder and Stoughton. FPQ. (2001). Every Body Needs to Know: A sexual and reproductive health resource for teaching people with a disability. Brisbane: Family Planning Queensland. FPQ. (2005). High Talk: supporting sexuality education in schools. Brisbane: Family Planning Queensland. FPQ. (2003). I have the right to be safe: Flip Chart. Brisbane: Family Planning Queensland. FPQ (2007) Bodies and Relationships Essentials Education. Brisbane: Family Planning Queensland Goldman, R. and Goldman, J. (1988). Show Me Yours: Understanding Children’s Sexuality. Ringwood: Penguin Books. Greenberg, J., Bruess, C. and Coonley, K. (1992). Sexuality: Insights and Issues. USA: McGraw and Hill. World Health Organisation. (2002). Gender and reproductive rights: Sexual health. Retrieved April 13, 2005, from https://www.who.int/reproductive-health/gender/sexual_health.html © Family Planning Queensland 2010
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