Positive and Protective: Preparing for Puberty - Department of Communities (Child Safety Services) Foster and Kinship Carer Training

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Positive and Protective:
        Preparing for Puberty

Department of Communities
(Child Safety Services)
Foster and Kinship Carer Training
Workshop Outline

 Time                               Activity

 10 min                             Introduction
 5 min                              Sexuality
 20 min                             Social learning
 10 min                             Barriers to sexuality education
 20 min                             Puberty

 Break                              Break
 40 min                             Supporting and addressing sexuality issues
 35 min                             Answering questions
 10 min                             Conclusion

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
What is sexuality

        “Sexuality is an integral part of life and it influences
        personality. It may be denied, repressed or used
        effectively but it is part of ourselves. Sexuality is a
        process commencing at birth and ending only with
        death ... Sexuality is culturally defined and thus
        influenced by family, peers, religion, economics,
        school, media, law and science.”

                                                            The Clarity Collective

                                    The Clarity Collective.(1990).Taught Not Caught: Self Esteem in Sex Education.
                                                                         Melbourne: Spiral Educational Resources.

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Sexuality components
Spiritual                            Social
     Religion                           Personal background
     Feelings                           Friendships
     Values                             Marriage/partnerships
     Beliefs                            Culture
                                         Legal aspects

Physical                             Emotional
    Reproduction                       Learned behaviour
    Birth control                      Attitudes
    Pregnancy                          Education
    Sexual response                    Expression
    Growth and development             Feelings
                                                   Greenberg, Bruess, & Mullen (1992)
    Body image

 © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Sex is what we do .
                                    Sexuality is who we are.

                                                                                         Anna Freud,
                                                     Daughter of Sigmund and Martha Freud, 1895-1982

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Social learning
Sexuality is a gradual process of learning and development which
occurs in the context of society and culture.

                                    Society

                                      School

                                        Peers
                                          Family

                                              Child

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Whose job is it anyway?
     Children and young people in care have
     poorer sexual health outcomes than their
     peers not in care.

     … care providers and service providers
     experienced a great deal of confusion, fear
     and lack of power with regards to whose
     responsibility it was for helping young
     people to access sexual health services.

                                         Farmer et al (2000)

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Physical changes

Both                                    Boys                        Girls
                                                                    •   nipples enlarge and
•    growth spurt                       •   chest and shoulders         darken
                                            broaden
•    weight increase                                                •   pelvis becomes wider
                                        •   body becomes more
•    pubic hair                                                     •   vaginal discharge
                                            muscular                    increases
•    underarm hair                      •   penis and testicles     •   increase of fat on
                                            enlarge and darken          breasts, hips and
•    face changes                                                       thighs
     shape                              •   sperm is produced
                                                                    •   breasts develop
•    sweating increases                 •   ejaculation occurs      •   genitals become
                                                                        darker in colour
•    skin becomes oilier                •   voice becomes deeper
                                                                    •   ovulation begins,
•    acne may develop                   •   facial and chest hair       followed by
                                            develops                    menstruation

    © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Emotional and social changes
               Emotional                   Social changes
                changes
                                           •   start to assert
               •      mood swings              independence from
                                               parent/carer
               •      question identity
                                           •   express need for
               •      risk taking              privacy
                      behaviour
                                           •   recognise peer
               •      preoccupation with       group bonds and
                      rapid body changes       behaviour codes

                                           •   test ability to attract
                                               boy/girlfriend

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Puberty facts
• First signs of puberty
     • Girls – growth spurt, breast development, pubic and underarm hair
     • Boys – growth spurt, genitals grow and darken, pubic hair

• Both experience weight gain around time of puberty

• Breast development
     •     Soreness / tenderness with development
     •     One breast may grow first or is slightly larger
     •     No right age for a girl to start wearing a bra
     •     Boys may experience temporary breast development due to hormone
           levels

  © Family Planning Queensland 2010
Period hygiene
• Pad or tampon choice depends on comfort, activities or
  time of day
• No physical reason why young girls cannot use tampons
• Reinforce need to change pads/tampons regularly
          • tampons 2-4 hours
          • pads overnight
• Important to wash hands before changing pads or
  tampons and bathe each day
• Pad/tampon disposal in bin or specialised receptacle – do
  not flush
• Period preparation –
          • keep supply of pads and underwear in school bag
          • know where to access pads and tampons at school and who to ask for help
          • practice wearing a pad

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Erections

• Boys experience erections from birth
• More frequent when puberty is reached
• Can happen for no reason or at an inappropriate time
• Reassure that while embarrassing, it is unlikely anyone
  will notice
• Preparation – discuss strategies for managing unwanted
  erections
                  •   think of something boring
                  •   wear clothing that makes erections less noticeable
                  •   sit down
                  •   ignore and continue with current activity

• First ejaculation: at approximately 12-14 years

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Wet dreams

 • A wet dream is when a male ejaculates semen
   while asleep

 • Happens in response to the body making sperm

 • All boys will have a wet dream at some time, with
   most beginning at about 13 or 14 years

 • Preparation –
          • reassure that wet dreams are normal
          • reassure they have not wet the bed
          • the amount of semen is approximately 5 mls, so won’t make
            much of a mess and is cleaned up easily

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Masturbation

•      Nearly all boys and many girls masturbate at some
       time during adolescence
•      An adolescent’s sex drive can be very strong
•      It is one way to gain sexual pleasure and release of
       sexual tension, without risks associated with early
       sexual intercourse
•      Healthy as long as it happens in private and without
       feelings of guilt

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Three What Questions

  1. What is the behaviour?

  2. What is the behaviour communicating?

  3. What strategies will help meet the need?

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Scenario 1

    Betty is 10 years old. Until recently she lived with her
    biological father and brother. She has been in care for
    3 months. Recently, Betty has been spending a lot of
    time in the toilet and bathroom at home. School
    reports that she has been going to the school nurse to
    get pads for when she has her periods.         At home
    she has never talked about periods or used the pads
    from the bathroom cupboard.

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Scenario 2

   Robert is 15 years old. Recently he has started
   talking about his girlfriend Trudi (14), another young
   person in emergency temporary care at the same
   foster home. When doing the washing a few days ago
   a condom fell out of his pocket and into the wash.
   Going past his room one evening you notice his door
   is shut and you hear him and Trudi together.

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Scenario 3

    Alberto is 12 years old and has a mild intellectual
    disability. He has been in foster care for ten years.
    Alberto likes to spend a lot of time on the computer,
    especially surfing the internet. Recently the house
    received a bill for a website called xtra blu addressed
    to Alberto.

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Scenario 4

    Ben, aged 13, spends a lot of time alone in the
    bedroom he shares with two other foster children.
    He often shuts and locks the door. When the foster
    carer knocks on the door he tells her to go away.
    She has noticed lately that he is putting his sheets
    and pyjamas in to the washing basket to be washed
    every morning.

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Scenario 5

   Aesha, aged 12, likes to read and play the piano.
   She has been in care for five years with her little
   brother, Dano. After dinner Aesha approaches you
   privately and asks how she will know if she is gay.
   She says that sometimes she thinks she would like
   to kiss her best friend Suzie.

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Aim to be approachable
   •        Let children know it is always ok to ask
   •        Being embarrassed is ok
   •        Be honest if you don’t know the answer
   •        Be proactive if your child doesn’t ask
   •        Be positive, brief and factual
   •        Provide information at the person’s level of
            understanding
   •        Attempt to address all questions no matter how silly
            or confronting they may appear
   •        Find out what they are really asking
   •        Respond positively to questions
© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Positive responses to difficult questions

• That’s a very good question and I’m glad you asked.

• That’s a very good question, what made you think of that?

• That’s a really good thing to talk about as soon as we get
  home, ok?

• I don’t know the answer, let’s find out together.

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Techniques for answering questions
The straight answer
This technique gives an honest, straightforward answer.
      Q What is a homosexual?
      A A homosexual is a person who is attracted to people of the same sex.

Continuum
This technique is useful for value-based questions. Some people believe . . .,
whilst others believe . . . . Most people's beliefs fall somewhere in between.
       Q        Is abortion ok?
       A        Some people believe that abortion is never ok. Others believe it is the
                woman’s right to choose. Others believe it depends on the circumstances.

Turning the question around
This technique is also useful for value-based questions.
       Q What is the best age to have sex?
       A That‘s a good question. What do you think?

I don’t know
It is honest and acceptable to admit lack of knowledge, however make a plan, including
a time frame, to learn the answer.
© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Language of sexuality
• Scientific language
       • designed for precision, eg, cervix, coitus

• Childhood language
       • designed to hide embarrassment and avoid confrontation,
         eg, number 2, wee wee

• Common discourse
       • designed to communicate information plainly, eg, making love,
         having sex

• Slang
       • describing vigorously and sometimes demeaningly, eg, fuck, cock,
         slut, wanker

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Looking after yourself – it’s important!

    • Be aware of your stressors or triggers

    • Attend to physical, emotional, spiritual, creative, and
      interpersonal well-being

    • Seek personal counselling/therapy

    • Nurture yourself

    • Seek balance between work, rest and play

    • Maintain meaning and connection, with yourself,
      family, friends, and others

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
Bibliography
      Brennan, H (2008). Settings and Solutions: Supporting access to sexuality and relationship information for
        children in care. Brisbane: Family Planning Queensland.

      The Clarity Collective. (1990).Taught Not Caught: Self Esteem in Sex Education. Melbourne:
        Spiral Educational Resources.

      Crime and Misconduct Commission Queensland. (2004). Protecting Children: An Inquiry into the Abuse of
         Children in Foster Care. Brisbane: Crime and Misconduct Commission Queensland.

      Darvill, W. & Powell, K. (1995). What Shall We Tell the Children? A guide for parents and teachers. Rydalmere:
        Hodder and Stoughton.

      FPQ. (2001). Every Body Needs to Know: A sexual and reproductive health resource for teaching people with a
        disability. Brisbane: Family Planning Queensland.

      FPQ. (2005). High Talk: supporting sexuality education in schools. Brisbane: Family Planning Queensland.

      FPQ. (2003). I have the right to be safe: Flip Chart. Brisbane: Family Planning Queensland.

      FPQ (2007) Bodies and Relationships Essentials Education. Brisbane: Family Planning Queensland

      Goldman, R. and Goldman, J. (1988). Show Me Yours: Understanding Children’s Sexuality. Ringwood: Penguin
        Books.

      Greenberg, J., Bruess, C. and Coonley, K. (1992). Sexuality: Insights and Issues. USA: McGraw and Hill.

      World Health Organisation. (2002). Gender and reproductive rights: Sexual health. Retrieved April 13, 2005, from
        https://www.who.int/reproductive-health/gender/sexual_health.html

© Family Planning Queensland 2010
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