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THE MAGAZINE FOR THE BRETHREN IN CHRIST COMMUNIT Y IN THE U.S. Fall/Winter 2015
HIGHER L OVE
RISING WITH HUMILITY, GRACE,
AND TRUTH IN THE PURSUIT
OF SEXUAL HOLINESS
THE VIEW
FROM HERE
INPART ™
Fall/Winter 2015 VOLUME 128 NUMBER 3
THE MAGAZINE FOR THE BRETHREN IN CHRIST
COMMUNITY IN THE U.S.
I was 14 when “Friends” made history with the first lesbian these labels helpful within the paradigm of a life transformed Now I know in part; then I shall FEATURES
wedding ever shown on TV. Born right at the tail end of “the by God, these are the terms our culture uses. While of course know fully, even as I am fully
divorce generation,” my peers and I saw broken marriage as we are not of this world, we certainly remain in it, and we are known. I Corinthians 13:12 6 Higher love
more of a norm than an exception. I’m young enough that charged with sharing the Gospel with those who have not
≥ Rising with humility, grace, and truth
openly gay friends, co-workers, relatives, and classmates have heard it. This requires us to be at least conversant, if not fluent, BRETHREN IN CHRIST CHURCH in the pursuit of sexual holiness
IN THE U.S.
been part of my life since I was a teenager—they haven’t been in the language of those around us—even if we speak a very
National Director: Alan Robinson by dulcimer hope brubaker
confined to the closet. But I’m old enough to remember a time different dialect amongst fellow Jesus-followers.] with alan robinson and perry engle
Guest Editor: Dulcimer Hope Brubaker
when cohabitation was frowned upon and the term “same-sex This issue engages the conversation about human sexuality—
Creative Consultant: Nathan Stonge
marriage” didn’t even exist. In a relatively short period of time, a gift from God that deserves respect and careful stewardship. In
Graphic Designer: William Teodori
our culture has made a momentous shift in the way it views, keeping with our Anabaptist tradition, we have tried wherever
431 Grantham Road
experiences, and talks about sexuality. possible to steer clear of political and legislative arguments—what Mechanicsburg, PA 17055 USA
But viewed another way, there’s nothing new under the sun. our forebears would have called “the matters of the kingdom of Telephone: (717) 697-2634
Broken expressions of sexuality have been around as long as the this world.” These matters deserve our attention, to be sure, but Fax: (717) 697-7714 10 Saying ‘I do’ to God
human race itself. And sexual immorality was no stranger to they must not be allowed to eclipse the primary question for fol- inpart.org (ISSN 1940-2945)
≥ How seven faithful believers live out their
the Early Church. As Brethren in Christ, we believe that Jesus lowers of Jesus: How does Jesus want us to live and love? IN PART (ISSN 1940-2937) is published callings in singleness and in marriage
twice a year by the Brethren in Christ
calls us to a higher standard than that of the world, and we also It’s not an easy question, but as we ask it together, spurring Church in the U.S. In Part invites readers by susan k . getty
believe His Spirit empowers us to live a life that is holy and one another on, we can be confident that God will meet us, into a dynamic relationship with Jesus
Christ within the context of the shared life
pleasing to God. filling us with grace and truth as we seek Him. and ministry of the BIC Church.
But many questions remain: What does it actually look like Printed by Graphics Universal Incorporated
to pursue holiness with our sexuality? How do we honor mar- Send feedback, address changes, or subscrip-
tion questions to inpart@bic-church.org.
riage while also valuing the celibate life? How do we relate to
Postmaster: Send changes of address to:
people in our society whose sexual lifestyles differ from our own?
IN PART
[A note here: In this issue, we have used a variety of terms
431 Grantham Road
such as “heterosexual,” “gay,” and “LGBTQ”—Lesbian, Gay, Dulcimer Hope Brubaker, Mechanicsburg, PA 17055 USA
Bisexual, Transgender, Queer. While we may not always find guest editor Nonprofit Postage paid at Greencastle, PA
17225-9998
DEPARTMENTS 2 LIFE IN THE BODY 14 BY THE NUMBERS
Printed in U.S.A.
→ Mennonite World → The American experience
Member of the Evangelical Press Association.
Conference 2015, Equip-
Biblical quotations, unless otherwise indicated,
are from the New International Version.
ping families for school, 15 TO THE POINT
Recovering from natural → Leading disciples to follow Jesus
IN YOUR CREATIVE Copyright © 2015. All rights reserved.
Printed with soy ink on FSC®-certified Rolland
disasters with their whole being
CONTRIBUTORS
by jon hand, keith miller,
WORDS 4
Opaque 30 paper. Manufactured using biogas
energy. 30% of the paper fiber comes from
ECHOES nathan stonge, & deb wiles
recycled, post-consumer waste, and 70% → Serving sacrificially
Cory Keller is a professional photographer
comes from well-managed forests.
in the big city 16 POINTS OF VIEW
and designer located in Abilene, Kans. He → Should the Church perform
What a joy your Spring/Summer 2015 magazine has given me! has lived there with his wife and three chil- 5 PART OF THE WHOLE ‘legal’ marriages?
dren for the past eight years. Cory is also the
Thank you for sending it! What a “WOW!” of a cover! I was children/youth/media director for LifeHouse → Kate Vosburg by joe laher & jeff wright
not able to turn to the first page until I answered the question, Church (Abilene, Kans.). keller-photo.com
“What’s your cause?”: “All of them!” Reading through the con- 17 PARTING WORDS
→ Imagining a Church full
tent had me laughing, crying, weeping, and just being thankful. Scott McFadden works on the communica-
tions team at the Brethren in Christ office of grace and truth
in Mechanicsburg, Pa. Along with assisting by perry engle
God bless you, with love and respect, in the overall creative direction, he shaped
the “Life in the Body,” “By the Numbers,” and
Betty Lou Olson “To the Point” departments. Scott is actively
Calico Rock, Ark. involved at The Meeting House (Carlisle, Pa.).
fall/winter 2015 1
LIFE IN THE BODY
IN PART
stories of the bic in action LIFE IN THE BODY
MANY ANABAPTISTS,
◊ A NEW
PHOTOS L–R: MCC Photo/Rhoda Shirk, Cindie Leer, Joel Marandi
ONE GLOBAL BODY NORMAL
MWC PA 2015 draws believers IN NEPAL
from all over the world Picking up pieces
“The human body has many parts, but the
in the aftermath
many parts make up one whole body. So of devastating
it is with the body of Christ.” (1 Corin- earthquakes
thians 12:12, NLT). ∂ A group of volunteers works together to build a prefabricated ∂ A volunteer for the Youth Impact Project ∂ The roof of a local BIC church member’s home in
Pounding nails may be the last activ- house for Mennonite Disaster Service during MWC 2015. searches for the perfect pair of shoes Bihar lays crumpled following a devastating cyclone On April 25, 2015, a
for a local child in need. in April.
ity one might expect at an international massive earthquake
church convention, but for many at struck Nepal’s capital,
the Mennonite World Conference PA As part of the Anabaptist tradition,
BACKPACKS FOR ALL trict leaders, civic organizations, and over SHAKEN BUT Kathmandu. The 7.8-magnitude quake
2015 (MWC), it was a perfect fit. the Brethren in Christ share strong ties 400 volunteers. The event is open all day set off a series of aftershocks—some as
Every afternoon, just outside the with MWC. The former president of Ministry equips struggling one Saturday at the end of summer.
NOT BROKEN large as magnitude 7.3—that continue
air-conditioned halls of the Harris- MWC, Danisa Ndlovu, recently com- families for a new school year In addition to a free lunch, each Cyclone in Bihar wreaks havoc to this day. The destruction has taken
burg (Pa.) Farm Show Complex, two pleted his six-year term. Ndlovu, long- family in attendance receives free on an impoverished area over 8,000 lives and injured at least an-
prefabricated houses were built by par- time bishop of the Brethren in Christ “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one school supplies, books, shoes, haircuts, other 16,000. Over 500,000 homes and
ticipants looking for a way to use their Church in Zimbabwe, served as MWC of the least of these brothers and sisters of a bike helmet, a family portrait, a back- Three days before the first earthquake buildings have been destroyed, including
muscles that would connect meaning- vice president from 2003–2009 under mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40). pack, and a bag of groceries. struck Nepal this past April, a strong many historical sites in Nepal. Countless
fully to their faith. president Nancy Heisey, who also iden- Two years ago, Ken Landis, pastor In 2014, the event served more than storm swept through the state of Bihar people are left in the aftermath, coping
Participants included people of all tifies as BIC. Along with Bruxy Cavey, at Mountain Ridge Regional Church 2,300 people. This year, it provided in eastern India. The storm brought de- with the loss of family members, houses,
ages, many of them inexperienced in teaching pastor of The Meeting House (BIC) in Dillsburg, Pa., was approached supplies and services for over 2,800. struction to several districts in the eastern and their sense of stability.
construction. Darwin Villacis, part of a (BIC Canada), Ndlovu and Heisey were by some friends dreaming up an idea. Along with financial donations from part of the state, killing at least 32 people The effects of these quakes have
mission church in Ecuador, contributed featured speakers for this year’s confer- Excitement hummed in their voices as businesses and private donors, the proj- and injuring another 80. Countless been felt by many BIC children and
two afternoons to the project in order ence, representing 550 registered BIC they shared a vision of providing aid ect received and gave away more than homes were destroyed, as well as farmers’ leaders near the SPICE hostel in
to observe how North Americans built attendees from across 12 countries. and hope for local, struggling families 2,000 backpacks, 3,000 books, and crops. Trees were uprooted, blocking Biratnagar, Nepal. Aftershocks of the
their houses. MWC paints a vibrant picture of during back-to-school time. 4,000 pairs of new shoes this year. roadways and damaging infrastructure. major quakes have brought tens of
“I have talent in my hands; I don’t the verse in 1 Corinthians: Though “I only heard every third word,” Ken is overwhelmed at the collective Joel Mirandi, chairman of the thousands of dollars in damages to the
have talent with my words and my we are many parts scattered around explains Ken. “The last thing I needed response to this ministry. “For me, the Brethren in Christ Church in Bihar, hostel and surrounding facilities. Many
tongue,” said the 47-year-old mechanic. the globe in diverse ministry contexts, was something else to do.” As the con- most exciting part is watching all the was directly affected by the storm. BIC Church pastors and leaders are
Darwin joined more than 7,500 we are still part of the same whole. So versation continued, however, some- churches working and serving together,” Strong winds tore through his home still unable to repair their homes due
Anabaptists from 65 countries for whether gathering together under the thing caught his attention. “‘Imagine,’” he says. “We are serving together to love in Purnea, destroying much of his roof. to a lack of available resources. Shemlal
a week of worship, fellowship, and hot July sun to build houses for those they said, “‘no one would get credit the community as the bigger Church.” Fortunately, his wife and three children Hembron, national director of the BIC
vision at MWC in Harrisburg, Pa., in in need or receiving training in Biblical for it.’” The fire was lit, and the Youth Just two years ago, this ministry was were uninjured. Many other BIC pas- Church in Nepal, asks for support:
late July. The assembly convenes once conflict resolution, we all work for Impact Project was born. nothing more than a vision in several tors in the area have seen their homes “Please pray for SPICE children and
every six years and encompasses a the same goal: to become and make Having completed its sophomore friends’ minds. Today, hundreds of completely destroyed by this storm. God’s protection upon them.” To learn
wide variety of components, including disciples of Jesus. year, the Youth Impact Project is a com- families have been able to experience, Joel asks the BIC U.S. to partner with more and to sponsor your own child
global worship, teaching, workshops, munity event, driven by more than 20 in a tangible way, the tremendous love them by offering prayer and encourage- through the SPICE program, visit
Adapted from a 2015 MWC story by Byron Rempel-Burkholder
and service projects. pa2015.mwc-cmm.org/doing-something-about-faith local churches, 20 businesses, school dis- and hope of Jesus Christ. ment as they begin to rebuild. bic-church.org/wm/spice.
2 IN PART INPART.ORG fall/winter 2015 3
ECHOES PART OF THE WHOLE
IN PART
exploring our heritage of faith focusing on one woman’s faith
KATE VOSBURG
Seventeen years of campus ministry and God’s leading have positioned her to bridge the
gap between the Church and the LGBTQ community. Kate will now take your questions.
As a believer with a traditional view and Scripture’s authority. Then I lay out
of marriage, what led you to LGBTQ three positions: “redeemed sexuality,”
ministry? which says that because of sin, all of us
About five years ago, one of our need our sexuality redeemed, and that
student leaders was hosting an event God wants us to live out our sexual
and two presidents of LGBTQ clubs lives through either celibacy or lifelong
happened upon it. This student was marriage between one man and one
chatting with them and suddenly felt woman; the gay-affirming perspective;
the need to ask forgiveness, recogniz- and “I don’t know.” Underneath the
ing that Christians had sinned against gay-affirming perspective, often, are
Sarah H. Bert (front row, the LGBTQ community. They were deeper questions about how we inter-
center) had a knack for
really struck by that, and it led to an pret Scripture, whether or not God is
drawing in young women
in her urban Chicago “ally” training [a reconciliation process really good, and if Jesus fully satisfies.
neighborhood, teaching that trains non-minority students to be Those, to me, are even more important
them to both sew skillfully
and to follow Jesus. She able to advocate for a minority group]. discipleship questions that are revealed.
was known for buying But it was going to be hard for some
perfume—something no
respectable BIC woman
of the Christians to be “allies” because What do you wish people knew
of her time would do—in that required full endorsement. So the about Jesus?
order to get the door-to-
president of the LGBTQ group said, That Jesus is at work in the world,
door sales girls to come HOME CONGREGATION:
to Sunday school. “We need to create a new category— making this a place that reflects the Upland (Calif.) BIC
Photo: Courtesy of the Brethren in Christ
Historical Library and Archives ‘friend,’ someone who stands against goodness of God—shalom. I wish they
bullying, harassment, and anything de- knew that God sees us and loves us
MINISTRY:
humanizing.” It was the first time that the way that parents see and love their InterVarsity Christian Fellowship
HEEDING GOD’S CALL a place had been made for me. It felt children; that God wants to give them at the Claremont Colleges
Serving sacrificially in the big city like the grace of God. Previously, when the fullness of life and they can trust
people found out I had a traditional Him with that. And of course that FAMILY:
The bustling metropolis of Chicago— poor and outcast. Against all odds, she and Bible lessons. Her legacy can be understanding of marriage, I was an means change, because all of us need Married to Dave with three kids—
choked by unemployment, flooded with made the Windy City her home, minis- summarized in the words she herself enemy. The conversation was incred- change so that we can grow up to be ages 9, 6, and 6
immigrants, and plagued by tenement tering there for more than 50 years and used to describe urban ministry in ible. It didn’t get mired in any political, more like Jesus.
housing, unjust working conditions, becoming the first-ever female superin- 1904: “Few would ever get to God divisive issues. A lot of trust was built, EDUCATION:
and dangerous vices—was not an easy tendent of a BIC mission. if there were no deeds of kindness and about five people started hanging How can we better love gay people? M.A. in Theology, Fuller Theological
place to live in the late 19th century. Bert never married—not an easy scattered along their path by Christian around our Christian group. We will serve people well if, at Seminary
Yet it was the city to which Sarah decision in an era when women had hearts and loving hands.” the same time we are talking about
H. Bert—a pioneering BIC urban fewer legal rights and less financial How do you talk to your students this issue, we are working on ways of FAVORITE MOVIE:
missionary—moved in 1894, follow- security than men. And yet her single- Devin C. Manzullo-Thomas is a church
about sexuality? actively loving LGBTQ people both The Princess Bride
historian who works at Messiah College,
ing God’s call. Born in 1860, Bert was ness enabled her to more easily connect serves the BIC Historical Society, and I start off by having them agree to within and outside the Church.
a frail, timid Kansas farmgirl who felt with the young urban women to whom attends the Grantham (Pa.) BIC Church
four anchors—Christ at the center, FAVORITE BAND:
with his wife, Katie, and son, Lucas.
U2
the Spirit drawing her to work with the she ministered through sewing classes devinmzt.com God’s goodness, loving our neighbors,
4 IN PART INPART.ORG fall/winter 2015 5
HIGHER
C
ULTURE WARS are not becoming for a people of peace. So when rainbows clash with
black and white, it is not our first instinct to jump into the fray. But as our society
fiercely debates the morality of love, sex, and marriage, neither is it helpful for us to stay
silent. It’s time for us to talk—with God and each other—about our understanding of sexual-
ity, how we’ve come to be where we are, and how Jesus wants us to live, love, and treat others.
FIRST THINGS FIRST love, and produces children. This, we believe, is God’s inten-
tion for sex—but in a broken world, we see many expressions
Let’s remember, we were sinners. But in Christ we are no of sexuality that fall short of what God designed.
longer defiled and defined by sin; it’s been defeated. We have Sexual desire is powerful, and it is not always directed
been reconciled to God and belong to Him, as well as to toward husband or wife. Sex is power, money, and status. It’s
each other. We have a new identity—a new purpose—and a vehicle for dominance, marketing, entertainment, and self-
as we walk in the light we experience God’s transforming realization. In short, our sexuality is warped. We may not all
RISING WITH
power to live a holy life. This is not from us or because of our have the same type of brokenness, but there is a hollowness in
HUMILITY, GRACE, strength, but from God and in our weakness. Therefore, as every man’s and woman’s sexuality crying out for redemption.
AND TRUTH IN we talk about sexuality—or anything else, for that matter— Which makes the life of Jesus so incredibly powerful.
we need to speak with a heavy accent of humility and a rich Born with the same longings that we all inherit from our
THE PURSUIT OF
vocabulary of redemption, along with confidence that God’s parents, Jesus relied on God alone to fill and complete Him.
SEXUAL HOLINESS power is at work among us. As we attempt to follow in His divine footsteps, we can
As Brethren in Christ, we stand against hate and de- derive a great deal of comfort from the knowledge that Jesus
humanization of any person. After all, every person bears became human like us—finite, fragile, and hungry—and
the image of God. Yet, even if we feel we are personally God was always enough. And He is still enough.
extending grace and love to all those around us, we must
by Dulcimer come to terms with ways in which we, or the broader BUT WHAT DID JESUS SAY ABOUT SEX?
Hope Brubaker,
evangelical community, have failed to stand against the
with Alan Robinson
and Perry Engle dehumanization of gay people. People who, like us, bear In the Gospels, Jesus speaks about marriage, divorce, and
the image of God. immorality. He affirms marriage using the foundational
Brothers and sisters, any dehumanizing attitudes and statements of Genesis to describe gender and the sexual,
responses must go. We might have to let go of some cultural spiritual union of a man and wife becoming one flesh.
assumptions, too. There are no guarantees that the world When speaking of sexual immorality, He used the word
around us is going to accept or affirm our perspectives; in porneia—referring categorically to any sexual activity out-
fact, we’re assured that we will have trouble.1 But we are side of male-female marriage.4 This would be a clear word
called to depart from the patterns of the world—pride, self- to His audience, who shared a long-established Jewish
centeredness, and mockery—and “seek first his kingdom understanding of sexual sin. Jesus also describes sexual sin,
and his righteousness.”2 along with all forms of immorality, as coming from within
the heart—evil thoughts that defile.
SEX IN THE KINGDOM In His sermon on the mount, Jesus taught an even nar-
rower understanding of God-honoring sexuality than Jewish
In the beginning, God created humans as sexual beings. Our law required:
genders—male and female—each reflect different facets of “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not com-
our Creator’s image, and He made men and women with mit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a
the capacity for a relationship that has emotional, physical, woman lustfully has already committed adultery with
sexual, and spiritual dimensions.3 In the context of the mar- her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble,
riage relationship, sex binds two people together, expresses gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose
one part of your body than for your whole body to be
LOVE 1
2
John 16:33
Matthew 6:33
thrown into hell.”5
3 Genesis 1:27
4 Matthew 15:19
5 Matthew 5:27–29 fall/winter 2015 7
Rolling out this new code of ethics, Jesus goes beyond believe the moral and physical boundaries established at cre- God calls all of us to holiness and humility, especially as
moral obligation, loyalty, and honor to expose our hearts ation still have authority; therefore, same-sex sex is outside we face the debate about sexuality. Christian anthropologist
and our minds. This doesn’t sound like a teacher who’s Jesus goes beyond moral of God’s plan for humanity. Jenell Paris suggests that in the debate the Brethren in Christ
broadening the definition of godly sex; it’s the exhortation So what about followers of Jesus who experience same- have a unique asset to bring to the table. “Within our tradi-
of a teacher who’s raising the bar. sex attraction? Are they cut off from love and any prospect tion, we have tools for conflict transformation—processes of
obligation to expose our of family? It depends on how narrowly you define love listening, processes of holding onto ourselves when emotions
THE LEGACY OF THE LAW and family, but the Brethren in Christ understanding of heat up, and active listening. The question for us is, ‘How
By modern (and ancient) standards, the bar was already
hearts and minds. This sexuality provides for two options—marriage between a
man and woman or celibate singleness—each an invitation
can we take conflict not as a problem to do away with but
as the context for our faith in this generation?’”
pretty high. The law given to Moses, as recorded in to submission and freedom with an orientation toward
Leviticus, states unequivocally that to have sex with a doesn’t sound like a teacher God. Let’s be clear: Married love is not the pinnacle of hu- A NEW CONVERSATION
close relative, with someone else’s spouse, with someone man existence, nor is it a human right. We do not need sex,
of the same sex, or with an animal is to defile oneself—the romance, or marriage in order to be fully human. To be sure, The debate about sexuality and marriage is fraught with pain
opposite of sexual holiness.6 Because Jesus has atoned for who’s broadening the humanity is called to “be fruitful and multiply,”13 but we and all kinds of complexities that many of us would rather
our sins, and because we do not live in the theocracy of would be foolish to ignore the positive role models we have avoid. But if we remain silent, we run the risk of being unfaith-
ancient Israel, we no longer live by the judicial laws of the in Jesus and Paul, who submitted their sexuality to God ful to Scripture and dishonoring our Creator. If holiness sings
Old Testament—and, therefore, are not bound to carry
definition of godly sex; it’s through relational, intentional celibacy. Sider points out out in our actions and relationships, if our speech is soaked in
out the severe punishments prescribed in Leviticus 20. that the traditional view of sex within marriage “demands humility and transparency, and if the Holy Spirit guides us, we
Jesus’ blood covers our sins, but it does not shift the moral the exhortation of a teacher celibacy for vastly more people than just the relatively small can redeem this discussion and turn the current debate about
boundaries God has put in place for humanity. Like any number with a same-sex orientation. Widows and widow- sexuality into true communication and understanding.
loving parent, God has set guidelines for our own protec- ers, along with tens of millions of heterosexuals who long As we talk about these important issues, it doesn’t have
tion, nurture, and well-being. who’s raising the bar. for marriage but cannot find a partner, are also called to to be about us and them or orientation or the laws of the
Paul knew these guidelines well and insisted that the celibacy.”14 In light of this, perhaps the Church ought to put land. It can simply be a conversation about what it means to
Early Church “flee from sexual immorality,” employing as much care into preparing people for celibacy as it invests follow Jesus with all of our being, including our sexuality. It
the same broadly applicable word for “sexual immorality” in premarital counseling. will take patience. It will take earnest biblical interpretation,
used by Jesus and extensively by the apostles and New compassionate listening, and submission to the Holy Spirit.
Testament scriptures.7 Some writers call for a different A HIGHER CALLING We will experience disagreement with other believers and,
interpretation of Paul’s letters, suggesting that Paul didn’t possibly, enmity from nonbelievers. But we owe God our
really condemn gay sex;8 he was simply denouncing lust reserved for a man and woman in the context of marriage. It is important that we exhibit Christ-like humility in all of devotion in this matter, and we owe one another—as fellow
and idolatry.9 But Paul’s letter to the Romans describes a Ron Sider writes, this. For decades, people living as lesbian, gay, transsexual, disciples—the dedication it takes to search Scripture and
timeless human situation: Some believe that the track record of evangelicals is so bad and queer have gotten a pretty clear message from the listen to the Spirit together. As we humble ourselves, love
For since the creation of the world God’s invisible quali- that we should just remain silent on this issue. But that Church: Their sexual desires are not O.K. But just because can cause us to rise in humility, grace, and truth.
ties—his eternal power and divine nature—have been would mean abandoning our submission to what finally I one is married or celibate doesn’t mean one’s heart and mind
Dulcimer Hope Brubaker is a member of Dillsburg (Pa.) BIC Church
clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, believe is clear biblical teaching. It would mean forgetting are pure. In many ways there can be a temptation to hide and the guest editor of this issue of In Part. Married with three young
so that people are without excuse. For although they the nearly unanimous teaching of Catholic, Orthodox, behind an appearance of holiness while misusing the gifts children, she deeply appreciates the opportunities writing projects
give her to study Scripture, explore theology, and search her own soul.
knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave and Protestant Christians over two millennia. And it of Christian celibacy and marriage.
thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their would mean failing to listen to the vast majority of con-
foolish hearts were darkened. . . . Therefore God gave temporary Christians (who now live in the global South).12
them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual
impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one BACK TO THE FUTURE
another. . . . Even their women exchanged natural sexual
relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men The Christian Church in North America is no longer
also abandoned natural relations with women and were unanimous in its view of marriage. In addition to the secular
inflamed with lust for one another.10 celebration of same-sex marriage in our culture, some ener-
Further, in his first letter to the Thessalonians, Paul getic voices declare that any mutual, monogamous relation-
declares that “It is God’s will that you are sanctified; that ship can be pleasing to God, regardless of gender: From their
you should avoid sexual immorality.”11 perspective, it’s all love, and surely God is for that. And, they
For 2,000 years, this is what Christians in many dif- reason, He is glorified in mutual sacrifice and commitment,
ferent cultures and times have believed and taught: Sex is even in same-sex relationships. But we Brethren in Christ 6 Leviticus 18 12 “ Tragedy, Tradition, and Opportunity
7 1 Corinthians 6:18 in the Homosexuality Debate,”
8 1 Corinthians 6:9 Christianity Today, November 18, 2014
9 matthewvines.com/transcript 13 Genesis 1:28
10 Romans 1:20–27 14 See 12
8 IN PART INPART.ORG 11 1 Thessalonians 4:3–8 fall/winter 2015 9
SAYING
Doug and D oug and Barb met when
they were each serving
as single missionaries in
Guatemala. With a shared sense of life
cannot think of a time where we have
been more fulfilled vocationally.”
While they depend on each other
for support, they also find support in
Our relationships Barb Miller purpose—knowing Christ and making life through family, close friends, their
help to shape us and affect Married 32 years
Him known—they have journeyed missionary community, prayer part-
our paths and the situations of our lives. through 32 years of marriage together. ners, and mission supporters. Barb and
Global workers for the
The opportunities we have in life are af- They understand vocation as the means Doug both share their individual joys
Brethren in Christ Malawi
I DO
fected by whether we are single, married, by which they pursue their lives’ pur- and challenges with a prayer partner.
divorced, or widowed; and our personal pose, and their vocations have varied “As a single missionary it was easier
connections may very well change the from school teacher, to missionary, to to concentrate on language learning
courses of our lives. homemaker, to farmer’s hired man, to and to be free to spend more time with
How we interact with our friends, pastor, to church planter, to salesman. local people because of not having
relatives, and significant others also They have raised five children on two family responsibilities,” Doug reflects.
has spiritual significance—our human different continents and currently live “As a married couple we can relate to a
relationships color and change the and minister among the Yawo people larger and more diverse group of people
understanding we have of our relation- of Malawi. because of our complementary gifts,
TO GOD
ship with God and are the means by “We definitely feel called to our cur- personalities, and backgrounds. As a
which we are conduits of God’s grace rent ministry through the affirmations married missionary it also helps some
to the world. of Scripture, personal conviction, home local people to accept you, especially
Exactly how God’s grace flows out church, and family,” says Doug. “We where singleness is not esteemed.”
from us, however, varies according to
How seven faithful
our personalities, gifts, and whether
believers live out their we are married or single. The many
F
callings in singleness gifts and advantages of marriage are
or Dorothy, life has been Although she never married, never
and in marriage rightly celebrated in the Church, but in
full of opportunity. Faith and had biological children, she has an
1 Corinthians, Paul also reminds us that
by Susan K. Getty unmarried people experience joys and
vocation have always gone extensive family network. Several of her Dorothy
benefits as well—including the oppor-
tunity to devote themselves more fully
hand in hand in her understanding,
leading her to diverse teaching and
former students prefer to call her “Mom,”
and she considers the children and Gish
leadership roles with Messiah College, grandchildren of a close friend to be her Single
to following God’s lead in their lives
the BIC U.S., and around the world. family as well. Looking at the richness Former dean of BIC Equipping for
(7:33–34b).
The Church is important to her, and of her personal relationships, she says, “I Ministry (retired in September
Our individual stories and relation-
she considers each job she has had as an very much believe that investing in other 2015), Mechanicsburg, Pa.
ships vary greatly, and yet we can see
opportunity to “reproduce herself ”— people comes back to you in your life.”
just how creative God is in using each
to pass along her values and gifts. Supportive small groups have played
of our relational contexts in the unique
An educator at heart and a gifted an important part in Dorothy’s spiritual
callings He has given us.
administrator, she has used those skills journey. Her connections include a Bible
in a variety of positions. When find- study group, two book groups, and a
ing herself at a career crossroads, she theological discussion group. Friend-
looked to God for direction. Trusting ships with both men and women have
God to lead, she says, “A door would been important to her, as she appreciates
open, and I would just walk through it.” the perspectives of both genders.
Her professional and personal life A recent health issue temporarily
has been one of adventure. Had she made living by herself a little tricky.
been married, she believes, she would But friends and neighbors stepped in
not have been able to travel the world to help around the house, bringing
as extensively as she has. A commit- food, flowers, and their company—
ment to family would have made that proving that being single does not
impossible. equal being alone.
fall/winter 2015 11
Melissa
Bigbey
I t may also be said that being
married does not guarantee that
one will not experience loneliness.
Marriages can break down, and Melissa
experienced that twice—first in her
understood God wanted her to live
and was blessed with a sense of call-
ing to her position as administrator
at Revolution Church. She feels she
has opportunities to use her abilities
W hile some pastors feel
an almost tangible pull
from God over the course
of many years, Hank had no such
direction. But, he adds, “Just because
“Neither of us knew I was going to be
a pastor!” Hank laughs. But Shell wasn’t
fazed. Their relationship deepened, and
as it did, certain abstract truths became
incarnate in Hank’s experience. In
Hank
Johnson
Single, mother of two sons family of origin and then in her own and also grow in new directions there, I didn’t see it at the time doesn’t mean what could have been awkward as he Married 6 years
Church administrator and separation and divorce. and she’s never felt more connected it wasn’t directed.” met Shell’s family for the first time, he Pastor of discipleship and
ministry leader, Revolution “I never thought I had to have a vocationally with her passions and gifts A native of Liberia, West Africa, instead experienced immediate accep- youth ministries at Harris-
Church (Salina, Kans.) husband to be happy,” she says. “How- than she does now. Hank moved to Harrisburg after gradu- tance. “It wasn’t anything I had earned; burg (Pa.) BIC Church
ever, in my heart I don’t think there was Melissa’s experience of healing and ating from Messiah College in 2004 and they didn’t know anything about me.
anything I wanted more than a whole, fulfillment as a single mom has enabled began attending Harrisburg BIC. It was It was literally because of Shell that I
healthy family.” The pain of damaged her to live as a witness to other single there Hank met Shell, a Pennsylvania was made O.K. and able to enter into
relationships, she says, “is what kept me women about having a deeply satisfy- Mennonite farm girl. They got to know the family. That crystallized the idea of
going back to Jesus. ing relationship with Jesus. “For me, be- each other as they spent time together what Jesus did for me.” Since then, fam-
“We are all going to be brought to ing single means I have more freedom,” with a large group of mutual friends. ily has taken on a broader meaning for
a place where God has us alone with she says. “Not having to please anyone Hank says he’s always been flexible Hank, and the sense of being a part of
Him at some point in our lives,” Me- but Jesus is awesome—sometimes scary regarding vocation and thinks the ques- the larger family of God has informed
lissa continues. “That’s just the way life and intimidating, but awesome.” tions to ask when deciding about job the way he views ministry to all people.
is. But for those of us who love Jesus, Looking to the future, Melissa opportunities are “How will I be able While he cherishes and protects his
we are given perseverance and hope.” anticipates the possibility of more mis- to bring glory to God?” and “What time with Shell and their young daugh-
In that hope, she experienced a sion opportunities. “The sky is the limit am I doing to further God’s kingdom?” ter, Harper, he remembers that all those
renewed commitment to live as she when you’re growing in Christ!” Being a pastor, he admits, “wasn’t he ministers to are truly his family.
even on my radar.” But since he loves “The idea is that we’re supposed to
the Church and was passionate about bless others—whether single, married,
youth ministry, when a position on the widowed, or divorced,” Hank reflects on
pastoral staff at his church opened, he his years of serving God, first single and
applied. And he was hired. now married. “We are in this together!”
G abe had worked for 17
years in the secular work-
place in a position he both
excelled at and loved when he sensed
God calling him into full-time Chris-
be aware that this was God’s desire for
them as well as me.”
Time has proven that their com-
munication with the Lord and with
each other did indeed lead the family
Gabe and
Rosemary Couples like the Valencias and single people like Dorothy Gish are deeply grateful
tian service. He turned to his family to to a fulfilling life of Christian min- Valencia for the Church—both as a place of freedom and healing to bring some of the chal-
confirm this direction. “When I shared istry. All five of their children have lenges they face as married or single people, as well as a place to live out the callings
Married 34 years
with Rosemary that the Lord spoke to worked alongside Rosemary and God has given them.
Co-directors of Mile High Pines
me and what He said, she responded Gabe at Mile High Pines Camp. But But their stories also confirm the need to truly know one another; to seek
Camp (Angelus Oaks, Calif.)
by saying jokingly, ‘It’s about time,’ it hasn’t always been easy; Gabe and understanding by asking one another about our joys and difficulties, rather than
because that had been her prayer for Rosemary have felt the challenge making assumptions based on relationship status. Only then can we truly share the
me for years.” faced by all married people deeply journey of a life of faith with one another.
This husband-and-wife team under- involved in ministry. “Ministry can “Marriage has confirmed to us the goodness and love of God in bringing us
stood that a change to camp ministry sometimes become or at least feel as together as compatible and complementary life partners,” say Doug and Barb
was not just about them. “We shared though it gets the majority of your Miller. “But we also saw our time as singles as a gift, a time to grow in our relation-
with our children what the scope of the time, energy, and commitment,” Gabe ships with the Lord, as the One who meets our deepest needs perfectly. We think
move and transition would look like warns. “This means that the marriage it’s important to understand that each individual, single or married, is of infinite
and asked them to pray to discern if may take a back seat. This is, of course, worth and significance to God.”
God’s message was any different than unhealthy. We should never sacrifice
Susan K. Getty is a freelance writer and artist who also works part time in the admissions office at
what He’d been saying to their mom our first ministry, our marriage, for Messiah College (Mechanicsburg, Pa.). She and her husband have been married for 28 wonderful Photos for this story are courtesy of:
and I. We wanted them to agree and our vocation.” years, and three years that were more challenging. They live in Dillsburg, Pa., and have two adult sons
they love hanging out with. Paul Emberger for Dorothy Gish
Cory Keller for Melissa Bigbey
Muriel Kratz for Hank Johnson
12 IN PART INPART.ORG fall/winter 2015 13
BY THE NUMBERS TO THE POINT
IN PART
THE AMERICAN EXPERIENCE
Most of us have at least a vague sense that American values and lifestyles What challenges Following Jesus Christ means we choose to repent of sin as defined in
have shifted dramatically over the past few decades. But what does this really God’s word, turn to Christ for forgiveness and salvation, and make Jesus Lord
look like? From various national surveys, here is a glimpse into the present-day and opportunities of our life. Sometimes it’s difficult to [do that] in the area of sexuality if one
American experience of marriage and sexuality—by the numbers. do you see in lead- hasn’t dealt with and healed from deeper wounds. I have to help some indi-
ing disciples of viduals make sense of the internal chaos before they can come to terms with
the truth of God’s word and how He designed sexuality.
Jesus to follow Him —Deb Wiles, Rock Island BIC Church (Herington, Kans.)
with their whole
Everyone is hungry for life in Christ. Some are acutely aware of this; some
1 IN 3 being, including
sexuality?
misread or misuse their innate desire. In pursuing these opportunities, we may
face a hindrance we are reticent to admit—that our spiritual parenting has re-
sembled the confusion and coddling of our society’s parenting style. Jesus both
American marriages exuded spiritual health and effectively diagnosed and treated spiritual sickness.
ends in divorce.
60
The fullness of His grace and truth is undiluted and radically transforming.
BARNA.ORG the average
This is reflected in the tenor of the apostles and New Testament church as we
age at first
3.4%
see in Scripture. If we examine and test ourselves, we should know if we pass
sexual
Percent the test. Fulfilling our privilege of witnessing to the world and discipling in the
intercourse
CDC.GOV
of Americans church, through the Holy Spirit’s power, we have much to offer.
support same- —Nathan Stonge, Dillsburg (Pa.) BIC Church
sex marriage.
GALLUP.COM
I personally think this is an exciting time for us because we get to become
27
of U.S. adults leaders in grace. Practically, we have the opportunity to move from fear to
~90%
identify as lesbian, grace by not participating in social media when people anxiously combat the
gay, bisexual, or 4American
of 5 women side they disagree with. In wisdom, we look for what God is doing and for
transgender.
GALLUP.COM
adults marry at
29
men
opportunities to reorient our lives to love, serve, and bless those who think
differently than us. Finally, we should be sensitive to avoid tired phrases like
“love the sinner, but hate the sin” that unintentionally communicate fear,
least once in not grace. We need to find helpful ways to frame our approach to this issue
their lives. of 15- to 44-year-olds the median
ages for a first while remaining faithful to our historic understanding of Christian marriage
BARNA.ORG who are or have been and sexuality.
married have had marriage
PEWRESEARCH.ORG —Jon Hand, BIC Canada
premarital sex.
CDC.GOV
A great challenge in conversations of sexuality is that we often assume
that each person has the same starting point, which isn’t true. If we’re actually
making disciples, people with a variety of experiences and understandings
will be joining us. And we must help each person ask, “How does living in
God’s kingdom change the way I understand everything?” If we are indeed
trusting the Spirit for transformation, then the Spirit will indeed bring
discernment, conviction, and direction. Then, as God’s people, we are able
to help one another move toward a Christ-like sexual ethic.
—Keith Miller, LifePath Church (Newark, Del.)
14 IN PART INPART.ORG fall/winter 2015 15POINTS OF VIEW PARTING WORDS
IN PART
sharing perspectives on a challenging issue
SHOULD THE CHURCH PERFORM ‘LEGAL’ MARRIAGES? IMAGINING A CHURCH
As same-sex marriage has become legal in many states—and now, in response to FULL OF GRACE AND TRUTH
the U.S. Supreme Court ruling on Obergefell v. Hodges—some evangelicals have Lessons from conversations on homosexuality,
begun to advocate that clergy members should stop signing marriage certificates.
the Gospel, and the BIC Church I believe that it
But does it really matter? Two pastors weigh in.
by Perry Engle
We are God’s representatives, not the state’s. Let’s not miss this opportunity to engage with is possible to be a
To begin this discussion, one needs to look at the phrase our post-Christian culture. Is it really possible to be a church realize that it is impossible for me to
“legal marriage.” The term “legal” indicates the necessity When I sign a marriage license, the state makes no presump- modeled after Jesus, who came to us separate my truth-telling from my church that is both
of following a law, which came about through a legislative tion that I operate as its agent. The actual agent of the state from the Father “full of grace and truth” grace-giving. Yes, the grace-and-truth
process. This means that a definition of marriage is requ- is the County Clerk, who must be satisfied that the legal ob- ( John 1:14)? Since May, BIC national balance is extremely hard to achieve, welcoming and
ired—a definition that has been at the heart of the marriage ligations for a marriage are met. My privilege is to celebrate director Alan Robinson and I have but I’ve found it easier as I’ve embraced
debate since the beginning. and solemnize the marriage with the couple through rituals been imagining this high calling for it as a reflection of who Jesus is, and not discipling towards all
If one looks at the underlying reasons for the establish- ancient and postmodern. the Church as we’ve facilitated the BIC just a part of my own agenda.
ment of Christian marriage, we are confronted with the In my home state, “clergy” of any religious background— Impact Seminar, “Full of Grace and I’ve come to accept that it is pos- kinds of people—even
God-given purpose of the creation of children and the along with judges, ship’s captains, etc.—are permitted to Truth: Homosexuality, the Gospel, and sible for spiritually sincere people to
needed roles of father and mother in the growth and solemnize a wedding. I always retain the option not to the BIC Church.” struggle with sexual identity while still those with same-sex
maturity of these children. participate in a solemnization of marriage where I, or the From the beginning, I knew it would seeking to follow Jesus. Early on in this
One must also consider the marriage covenant. This is Brethren in Christ Church, have fundamental questions. be a challenge to communicate how to discussion, I couldn’t help but think attraction.
an agreement between God and the man and woman who The effort to redefine civil marriage in the U.S. has received hold to the truth of the Gospel while of Paul and his thorn in the flesh as an
are entering into a sacred partnership with God. Oaths and legal sanction, and we ought to respond by focusing on the showing grace to people who struggle example of one who truly desired to
promises are proclaimed before God and other witnesses, pastoral effort of communicating more clearly the meanings with same-sex attraction. Here are a few be “healed” of his malady (whatever
who are to hold these two individuals accountable for of marriage within a biblical framework. things I’ve learned along the way. it was), but who was resigned to live discipling
their declarations to God and to each other. Witnesses Thus, the so-called “Marriage Pledge,” in which clergy First, I’ve come to recognize that with his condition. Although I know towards all kinds
are required for that specific purpose. vow not to sign marriage licenses, seems to me to be an art- the issue of same-sex attraction touches that through Christ we can be restored of people—even
A marriage becomes “legal” when individuals meet the ful dodge—a way to pretend the complex realities of post- more people than I ever realized. Over from anything that holds us back in those with same-sex
criteria, per the state. The Church has agreed to be the offici- Christendom do not exist in the U.S., and a way to avoid the past six months, I’ve had parents life (physical, emotional, or spiritual), attraction. Redemption is a
ant, representing the state in ensuring the requirements are meaningful engagement with couples regarding the truth approach me seeking counsel for a child Paul’s testimony shows that sometimes messy business, and the truth is
met. But for Christians, this is not the point of marriage. and grace of marriage in a Christian context. that has “come out” to them as gay; a full healing doesn’t take place, and that that we have all fallen short of the
I believe that church should be the place where vows and Would I prefer my state to further separate the act of mother ask me if it’s O.K. for her and her ultimately God’s grace must be suf- glory of God and are in need of His grace
commitments to one another are pledged before witnesses, marriage into a contract of civil union and a separate, op- husband to attend her daughter’s same- ficient for us (2 Cor. 12:7–10). and forgiveness (Rom. 3:23–24). The
regardless of the legal implications, and result in a covenant tional, religious solemnization? Yes. But I do not believe the sex wedding; and grandparents who I have also come to realize that it Church should be the place where people
between God, a man, and a woman. This kind of marriage Marriage Pledge helps us make such a helpful, clear separa- have shown me pictures of a grandchild is perfectly acceptable for me to be a are introduced to a Jesus who meets them
ceremony would be just that: a ceremony outside the legal tion of church and state. On the contrary, I believe it accepts who is transitioning to the opposite gen- friend to someone I don’t agree with. I where they are, but never leaves them the
bounds of the state’s definition. Therefore, my belief is that the premise that in some instances, clergy ought rightfully der. All have been difficult conversations am growing in my ability to respond to same once they encounter Him.
the Church should seriously consider removing itself as the to be agents of the state—a position for which I am unable fraught with pain. But every person has those around me as people, and not as For me, this is the wonderful good
representative of the state and instead be God’s representa- to find biblical justification. expressed immense gratitude for being projects. I have become more comfort- news of what it means to be a church
tive in the establishment of the covenant of marriage. able to talk about these issues. able letting individuals know that I see full of grace and truth.
I’ve come to feel secure advocat- them as much more than just a “gay per-
Joe Laher is pastor of Christian Union Brethren in Christ Church Jeff Wright is pastor of Madison Street Church in Riverside, Calif.
in Garrett, Ind.
ing for a traditional view of marriage son,” and that I will refuse to accept their Perry Engle serves as bishop of the
and sexuality while at the same time sexuality as the sum of their identity. Midwest and Pacific Conferences of the
extending God’s grace to those with Finally, I believe that it is possible to BIC U.S. He and his wife, Marta, and their
family live in Ontario, Calif.
same-sex attraction. I’ve come to be a church that is both welcoming and
16 IN PART INPART.ORG fall/winter 2015 17IN PART™
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