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March 15 - March 21, 2013 • WEEKLY DISPATCH staff Katrina Pyne, Editor-in-Chief Chris Parent, Photo Editor editor@dalgazette.com photo@dalgazette.com Torey Ellis, Copy Editor Ethan Calof, Online Editor copy@dalgazette.com Joelline Girouard, Asst. Online Editor Daniel Boltinsky, News Editor online@dalgazette.com Calum Agnew, Asst. News Editor Ben Gallagher, Other Editor news@dalgazette.com theothergazette@dalgazette.com Sam Elmsley, Opinions Editor Jonathan Rotsztain, Art Director opinions@dalgazette.com design@dalgazette.com Andrew Mills, Arts Editor Paul Balite, Financial Manager Meagan Deuling, Asst. Arts Editor business@dalgazette.com arts@dalgazette.com Aaron Merchant, Business Manager Ian Froese, Sports Editor advertising@dalgazette.com Graeme Benjamin, Asst. Sports Editor Isaac Green, Advertising Manager sports@dalgazette.com advertising@dalgazette.com contact us advertising www.dalgazette.com Isaac Green The SUB, Room 312 Advertising Manager 6136 University Avenue 902 401 9666 Halifax NS, B3H 4J2 advertising@dalgazette.com DO YOU BELIEVE tnirp enfi eht The Gazette is the official written record of Dalhousie University This publication is intended for readers 18 years of age or older. The IN YOUR UNION? since 1868. It is published weekly during the academic year by the views of our writers are not the explicit views of Dalhousie University. All Dalhouse Gazette Publishing Society. The Gazette is a student-run students of Dalhousie University, as well as any interested parties on or publication. Its primary purpose is to report fairly and objectively off-campus, are invited to contribute to any section of the newspaper. on issues of importance and interest to the students of Dalhousie Please contact the appropriate editor for submission guidelines, or University, to provide an open forum for the free expression and drop by for our weekly volunteer meetings every Monday at 5:30 p.m. exchange of ideas, and to stimulate meaningful debate on issues in room 312 of the Dal SUB. The Gazette reserves the right to edit that affect or would otherwise be of interest to the student body and/ and reprint all submissions, and will not publish material deemed by It’s the second last issue of the Gazette for the year so time for our wrap-up. or society in general. Views expressed in the letters to the editor, its editorial board to be discriminatory, racist, sexist, homophobic or the Streetr, and opinions section are solely those of the contributing libellous. Opinions expressed in submitted letters are solely those of This year, we’ve worked incredibly hard to transform the structure and culture of the DSU writers, and do not necessarily represent the views of The Gazette or the authors. Editorials in The Gazette are signed and represent the its staff. Views expressed in the Streeter feature are solely those of the opinions of the writer(s), not necessarily those of The Gazette staff, into something that’s open and accessible to you and all 17,000 of your fellow members. person being quoted, and not The Gazette’s writers or staff. Editorial Board, publisher, or Dalhousie University. There’s always more to do, but we’re proud of what we’ve done and we hope you are too. Here is a list of the top 10 initiatives we have seen from the DSU and our members in 2012/13: 1) Students of Halifax, unite! • Empowered student input through the creation of Soapbox, our 24/7 online platform (we Benjamin Blum, Opinions directly implemented 25+ student submitted ideas) 2) Dal Curling Club prepares for nationals • Created a lively SUB filled with great food, free foosball, lively music, and lots more Benjamin Blum, Sports • Opened the T-Room during daytime hours and worked for better services on Sexton 3) DSU executive propose leaving CASA—Kristie Smith, News 4) Candidate Profile: Josh Gummett • Strengthened advocacy through government lobbying and grassroots organizing, along Calum Agnew, News with enhanced student presence at Board of Governors, within municipal elections, and provincially 5) Joyce Murray: Q & A—Paul Rebar, News • Made life easier for student societies by streamlining grants and society policy • Partnered directly with cultural and international societies to encourage diversity on campus • Engaged hundreds of new volunteers within the DSU through our “Hands On” campaign • Opened forums of student representation by changing Faculty Society election structures • Increased social media reach by 250%, and established a useable TigerSociety system and awesome new website • Built campus community through events such as O-week, Dalfest, puppy rooms, TEDxNovaScotia, our 150th Anniversary, SWITCH Street Festival, Impact Awards, Free School and dozens of concerts and speaker events Attention Pre-Pharmacy Students Let’s keep going! It’s been a great year, but there is a lot more to do. We’ve got a Union Are you preparing for a MMI (Multiple-Mini Interview) for the that’s ready to lead and now it’s time to take it to the next level. Are you ready? College of Pharmacy, to be held April 27 & 28, 2013? Check out a draft of our new Strategic Plan at www.dsu.ca and come discuss at our Start preparing now! Annual General Meeting on March 18, at 6:30pm (room 303), or send comments to Now accepting students for one-on-one MMI practice coaching sessions. president@dsu.ca During this MMI interview simulation you will experience: • a large variety of practice questions and role plays Lots of love, • tips on using body language to your advantage Executive 2012/13 • confidence building for your interview • copies of Gordon's Smart Tips© Stay connected with the DSU through Facebook & Twitter Call or email today for more information: bluedolphin@ns.sympatico.ca Facebook Page: Dalhousie Student Union (902) 225-7882 Twitter: www.twitter.com/dalstudentunion Visit us at www.bluedolphintraining.com
swen swen news covers Dalhousie and the greater Halifax community. Contributions are welcome! Email Danpal and Lalum at news@dalgazette.com Danpal Ball Tin Sky News Editor Supermarkets compete for student dollars Eleven per cent Tuesday discount introduced amid heated competition Mort Moopstein his store and is pleased the program Staff Contributor is expanding. Not so fast, says Quinpool Mar- "Every little bit counts," says fifth- ket Super-Duperstore manager Ben year Dalhousie music student Dani- Fisher. "Listen, Obey's may have beat elle Myers, "If I'm saving 10 dollars us to the 10 per cent and now 11 per on groceries, that's money towards cent discount, but we have everyday tuition, books and mostly partying." low prices so who can compete with Myers is referring to the discount that?" offered by national supermarket Regardless of who the best retailer chains in their bid to woo student for students is, their target audience shoppers and secure their loyalty is happy with the increase. First-year through ever-popular incentives like Saint Mary's biology student Adam 10 per cent off when you show a valid McAdams can't wait for the first student ID on Tuesdays. And begin- Tuesday in April to roll around. ning April 1, the deal is set to rise a "What is it, Thursday now?" asks whole one per cent. gaunt-looking McAdams. "Sorry, I'm The decrease began in 2010, when not so sure what day it is. I'm so hun- Atlantic Canada-based Obey's super- gry." market chain first offered the 10 per "With tuition, housing and other cent off student savings. They were expenses being so high, I can only quickly copied by fierce competi- afford to buy food on Tuesdays. The tor Canadian Super-Duperstore who rest of the week I fend for myself off introduced their own 10 per cent scraps and hand-outs, like from the Obey or the Super-Duperstore. Which will you choose? • • • Photo by Mort Moopstein off Tuesdays the next year. Now the food bank. I'm so, so hungry." stakes are rising even higher as the "Another one per cent off means nationalized by the federal govern- get." a billion dollars in dividends next Super-Duperstore follows Obey's I'm going to be eating all that much ment and transformed into people's On the point of a discount cap, year and that's simply unacceptable.'" announcement of an increase to 11 more," McAdams drools with a hazy cooperatives," Goldman dreams. Obey's Hammond agrees. "Listen, Myers says she's fine with the 11 per per cent for the Tuesday student offer. glint in his eye. "Until then we have to resist accept- take what you can get at 11 per cent," cent and is also looking forward to "Listen, let's remember, we did it Anti-poverty advocate Sheila Gold- ing these discounts as progress and he says. "Don't be getting greedy." more savings in April. "Every cent I first: twice!" exclaims Green Street man says the 11 per cent savings aren't press for real change." "Hey listen, we tried to get it up to don't spend on fruits and vegetables Obey's manager Seth Hammond, good enough. "You have students who When asked if he thinks savings 11.2 per cent, 11.3 per cent, but the goes directly to beer and cigarettes," "We were the first to offer the initial can barely afford to eat. Ten per cent, would rise further, the Super-Dup- shareholders wouldn't have it," says she says. "Bring it on." 10 per cent off for students and we're 11 per cent, it makes no differences erstore's Fisher says no way. "Hey lis- Hammond, "They said, 'We're a pub- McAdams wasn't able to comment the ones taking it up to 11 per cent." when the cost of books and meals ten, 10 per cent off, that cuts into our licly traded company and we need to further as he passed out due to hun- Green says the discount definitely keeps on rising." bottom-line and 11 per cent, forget make a profit. If we cleared, let's say ger pains. brings hungry student shoppers into "I'd like to see supermarkets about it, that's as high as it's going to 11.5 per cent, then we'd pay less than
4 s w en March 15 - March 21, 2013 • White man hopeful for another DSU exec of solely white men Sandy Gross event or campaign that the DSU News Contributor actually put on this school year, but said the executive did a “phenomenal Looking back on a year where he says job.” He added unequivocally that he his marginalized views were finally would have re-voted for all of them if represented, a white man is hopeful given the chance. that next year's Dalhousie Student Smith plans to choose who he is Union (DSU) executive will once voting for this month by examin- again consist solely of white men. ing campaign posters for the famil- iar presence of a privileged suburban “I CAN ONLY white male that looks like him. The last all-male DSU executive DREAM OF was in 2006-2007. The third-year student from an THE SAME out-of-touch upper class family in Toronto expressed no concern what- soever that only three of the 19 candi- THING FOR dates running for a DSU position this year are female. NEXT YEAR.” “Isn't that the way it should be?” This awful comment follows a publicized campaign by StudentsNS “It was comforting to know that in to increase the representation of a school with over 17,000 students of women in student politics that Smith an array of race and cultural back- was obviously not privy to. Despite grounds that my student union would women representing 58 per cent of be composed not only of men but that the province's student population, all five of them would be Caucasians!” only two of 11 university student says Jake Smith, which a source said union presidents and 42 per cent of was the whitest name she has ever all elected representatives are women heard of. “I can only dream of the this year, explains the student advo- same thing for next year,” Smith cacy group in a media release. added excitedly. Smith flatly rejected any sugges- While not Smith, a typical white man. Close enough. • • • Photo by Britt Martpa Smith could not recall a single tions that he is a racist. Plan for it. As a potential employer, I would be extremely interested in candidates who have a Loyalist post-graduate certificate in FUNDRAISING AND DEVELOPMENT. Practical experience and exposure to the latest best practices is a definite edge over the competition. There is a real void of qualified candidates who truly understand the complexities of fundraising—Loyalist’s graduates will be well served and better positioned for the competitive job market. Rhonda Cunningham Fellow of Association of Healthcare Philanthropy (FAHP) DAL Executive Director of Northumberland Hills Hospital Foundation VOTES 2013 What’s your plan? For information, contact DSU ELECTIONS Professor Kerry Ramsay, kramsay@loyalistc.on.ca 1-888-LOYALIST ext. 2127 • TTY: (613) 962-0633 Learn about additional Loyalist post-graduate opportunities—visit loyalistcollege.com/postgrad Great careers don’t just happen— they’re planned. FULL COVERAGE, CANDIDATE BELLEVILLE, ON LOYALIST my college • my future PROFILES & MORE WRITE FOR US!
s w en 5 These are not Nova Scotia doctors. • • • Photo by Christine Child Province totally AUDITIONS spaced on hiring NOW HIRING surgeons ACTORS, SINGERS, Surgery wait list grows as health officials day-dream AND MUSICIANS about clouds, margins We are looking for approachable, energetic and musical Dick Johnson outcomes of the margin-size commit- News Contributor tee meetings.” individuals who can enthusiastically bring to life the Beginning in 2003, a series of Government health officials have summer students began the work of confirmed a leaked memo that sug- migrating the list to an online data- story of Alexander Keith, his sociable spirit, and his gests there are no actual surgeons base. None of the officials know how left in the province and there haven’t to use the database, but they have been in almost 20 years. been assured it is sufficiently large contribution to Nova Scotia Good Times! The memo reveals that the prov- and complicated to satisfy provincial ince’s last remaining surgeon was guidelines. an otolaryngologist who relocated to Ontario in 1994, following what Routine operations and same-day surgery procedures still occur regu- Auditions run Friday April 5 turned out to be the region’s last larly throughout the province. Rogers actual legitimate surgery, a routine tonsillectomy conducted without says Nova Scotia Public Health Ser- vices has found “a small team of fam- and Saturday April 6 by appointment. incident. ily physicians, nursing students, and Sources say the vacant surgeon positions were never advertised due a group of repurposed migrant farm- ers to take over the work during this... Call backs April 7 to a clerical error in the deputy min- curtailment.” ister’s office. Statistics show patients rarely Health officials at the time tried make formal complaints or pur- Email resume to keithsbrewery2013@gmail.com a variety of methods to tackle the sue malpractice claims as they don’t shortage. know the difference. “Also,” says Rog- “We employed our natural talents, ers, “they are generally quite pleased to book an audition. If you have any additional our top bureaucrats, and quickly to get their hands on some real opiate began an invaluable, on-going assess- ment of the scope of the problem,” prescriptions.” With so few surgeries being con- questions please call 453-3700 said assistant to the assistant vice ducted, many hospitals and health deputy Lee Rogers. “We didn’t bother telling anyone clinics have been leasing their nicer operating rooms as oddly furnished and leave a detailed message about the...curtailment, but we did bachelor apartments. Most are being have staff compile an early list of the used for storage. Investigators were names of residents requiring surgi- cal procedures, added new names as led to one operating room contain- ing a stack of old chairs, mounds of Must be 19 years of age identified by general practitioners, used clothing, four boxes of imported discussed margin size, and occasion- ally revised the list, depending on iPhones, a stray cat and two old men playing cribbage. and available to work full time. STORY VIA HFX_HEADLINES: Contracts run April 26nd – Oct 31st Atlantic Canadian faux news brought to you by real fake reporters. Fake News that Matters. Theatre background an asset but not a necessity Follow L@HFX_Headlines
6 eritas March 15 - March 21, 2013 • WHAT’S DAL TIGER MEME Didn’t anyone tell you—Dal has its own meme GRUMPY CAT LOADED LADLE A MEME? UPLOAD YOUR MEME TO OUR FACEBOOK PAGE! IS THAT A FACEBOOK.COM/ DALGAZETTE WAS DELICIOUS SUBWAY? PUPPY ROOM: HIT 100% BINDERS SNOW DAY OLDEST CAMPUS NEWSPAPER TIGER ROOM: FAIL 3634_NSCCMetro_Dalhousie_Business.pdf TIGE 1 R BLO 13-03-08 OD 9:09 AM FULL OF TIGERS SNOW MELTS WORST JOKES Business. Just one of 140 career choices. Are you ready for a new set of marketable skills? Do what you love and gain the hands-on experience employers want. Build on your degree. Qualify for a career in: • Applied Arts & New Media • Business • Health & Human Services • Trades & Technology Apply today, start in September. nscc.ca | 1-866-679-6722
• March 15 - March 21, 2013 s w en 7 Dalhousie bomb shelter mistaken for library SERIOUS SAFETY HAZARD, SAYS CHIEF HALIFAX FIRE AND EMERGENCY INSPECTOR Kathryn Kitchener Staff Contributor The Killam, the largest all-pur- pose above-ground war shelter in the Maritimes, has become increasingly used as a library since the collapse of the USSR in For example, the fallout slabs pan- 1991. eling the building mean almost noth- While some continue to stock food ing if dwellers are unable to find the and iodine on the fifth floor, most iodine. The over one million books, have absolutely no idea they endan- one of the largest number for any ger Haligonian lives by loitering in blast shelter in the world, can miti- the building. gate personal shockwave damage only if individuals know how to cor- “ARE YOU rectly duck-and-cover. The Killam was specially designed OUT OF YOUR to let in as little light as possible. In the event of all-out nuclear war, it FUCKING was thought, large windows would shatter. “I don’t know what you want from MIND?” me,” said Leslie McBlok, a second- year kinesiology student, when asked to demonstrate her duck-and-cover General Louis Habermark of the skills in the Killam atrium. “Are you Canadian Forces says the facility was out of your fucking mind?” state-of-the art in the 1960s. “We Incoming president Richard Flori- estimated that a battalion could hold zone says he plans a series of classes the facility for well over a month.” and workshops to raise awareness However, the use of the Killam as of wartime counter-measures in the a study space has some experts wor- bomb shelter when he takes office ried. next year. Among these are “Bottle- “It’s not a matter of individuals cap finance: how to think and grow using the facility per se,” said Halifax rich in times of trouble” and “Sur- Fire and Emergency inspector Dale vival ethics after the apocalypse.” It Carl. “It’s about secondary precau- is unclear whether these will count as tions that allow the facility to facili- credits. tate non-lethal outcomes in the event of near-complete annihilation.” The Killam Memorial War Shelter. INSET: Duck and cover. • • • Photo by Kathryn Kichener
snoinipo snoinipo gazette opinions welcomes any opinion backed up with facts, but we don’t publish rants. Email Sam at opinions@dalgazette.com to contribute Sam Clumsy Opinions Editor Keep an eye on the sky around September 1 to catch the migratory species each year. • • • Photo by Cam Kerstun Scientists track Ontarian I think it looks great. • • • Photo by Alice Blebbbb Rising water levels leaving downtown migratory species to Halifax awash in sea creatures Core of Halifax revitalized Atlantic provinces Samantha Clumsy no property-clinging sea urchin has my spirits. There, you get the sense FLOCK RETURNS HOME Opinions Editor gone before. Once a critical mass has latched on to a site, they orchestrate that life is not static, that somewhere in the world, a group of creatures are IN THE WARM MONTHS Halifax’s downtown core has been themselves to re-create the look and tirelessly, endlessly, working toward Erin McSlave Dr. Byrd says the Institute has dying by degrees. With the excep- feel of the property, revitalizing the an as-yet-incomplete vision. Opinions Contributor been focusing their latest research on tion of a few new store openings, space to suit their vision. And they’ve been making some determining why so many Ontarians businesses are continuing to leak So far, their mission has met with real headway. In October, they finally A mass exodus occurs every year by a are flocking to Nova Scotia and the out through the doughnut hole. You great success. Many of the storefronts generated enough starpower to crawl species originating from the province other Maritime provinces. can imagine my relief, then, when I are now covered in their five-figured up an historic properties building of Ontario. This species travels to the “We have been noticing that there realized the entire thing was getting bodies. and cover the Morse’s Tea sign. It rural, less populated, and often rainy do appear to be recruitment efforts a much-needed kick in the concrete Personally, I think they’re doing a was really the best place on which to Atlantic coast in Canada. Scientists being made by the Atlantic schools. pants by a horde of starfish taking super job. While some people grum- direct their efforts, as the sign had have roughly pinpointed the start of Natives go out to conscript new stu- over the buildings. ble that the crawl from ocean to prop- been painted in the early 1900s and the migration each year to Sept. 1 and dents in an effort to diversify the pop- erty is taking far too long, I say nay! DESPERATELY needed a new look. have been trying to determine what ulation of the school. My colleagues “YOU GET THE The long, long, looooooong inter- val between setting their sights on a Haligonians, I’m sure, were getting super tired of knowing that no mat- causes the large migration. The flock, they have observed, and I have noted 13 scouts have recently been sent out over the Mari- SENSE THAT building and actually getting there and making changes allows them ter what, the Morse’s Tea sign would be on that building when they went tends to congregate in the south- eastern part of Nova Scotia. They time provinces—one has gone to the prairies and two have been tracked LIFE IS NOT to take stock of the situation. These creatures are methodical, deep, downtown. Who needs reminders of their city’s historic past? join up and coexist with members of the native species, forming groups to British Columbia. What is remark- able though is that we have tracked STATIC.” future-oriented. Rome wasn’t built in a day, listless Barrington shoppers; Rumor has it, however, that the sign will be making a reappearance: (called schools) ranging from about 150 to 15,000 members. They remain four scouts to Ontario—they seem to be focusing their energies within that we can’t expect that Halifax will be the starfish are just covering it up in the area until spring, when almost one province.” rebuilt in one (or one million). temporarily as they suction towards all gradually make their way back to The Ontarians are responding to Rising out of the Atlantic, one pre- Plus, I think the sense of flux gener- greater goals. It’s just one stage in Ontario for the summer months. the efforts and seem to be drawn to sumes at high tide, these crusty crea- ated by the still-changing properties their vision for redevelopment. Check Scientists have been monitor- the rainy weather of the East Coast. tures are inching their way toward excites a feeling of endless possibility. back months from now and they may ing the largest cluster of this spe- Scientists at the Institute have the downtown core with an eye to the Literally endless! When I’m feeling have made more progress. Until then, cies found in Nova Scotia, which has studied the integration of the Ontar- prize(s). Their mission: to instill new glum, for five or seven months at a I’ll be down by the waterfront, with around 15,000 members. They have ians with the native population and life in Barrington and surrounding time, I make a point of walking by the a life’s supply of food ( just in case), named the school the “Dalhousie” the behavioural and cultural differ- area’s civilization, boldly going where buildings on Barrington Street to lift cheering them on. cluster and have been noticing an ences between the two sects. They interesting ratio between the native have perceived a strong tendency maritime student species and the amoung Ontarians to stick together FREE GAZETTE WORKSHOPS incoming Ontarians. within the school. Dr. Beeg Byrd, a scientist with the Dr. Byrd says that although the Institute for the Research of Species Institute has confirmed that the Migration in Halifax, says the num- Ontario species combines itself with Photography Writing Editing ber of Ontarian creatures in the Dal- housie school is “astonishing” and the Atlantic species into a single school, sometimes it takes a while 1:00-2:00pm 1:30-2:30pm 3:00-4:00pm the number appears to be increasing every year. for the different groups to effectively blend together. “There has been an influx in the “Sometimes the dissimilitude of RSVP: photo@ RSVP: opinions@ RSVP: copy@ past number of years. More and more the two groups, coming from rural of them are choosing to depart from and urban backgrounds, doesn’t dalgazette.com dalgazette.com dalgazette.com the large urban centres of their home allow for an easy integration process. province and, for some reason we It may take several years for the dif- have yet to determine, they decide ferent species to integrate fully. It also Snack and drinks will be provided to come to Atlantic Canada. We see appears that after four years, a mem- many of them are joining the Dalhou- ber will almost always leave the Dal- March 24, 2013, Rm 312, the SUB sie school.” housie school forever and may end up almost anywhere in the world.”
• March 15 - March 21, 2013 snoinipo 9 Pope? Nope. Think Ancient Aliens We need to change our focus and recognize who's really in charge Karl Simmonds sight lines to old rulers and their Opinions Contributor petty squabbles and fault-lines that never heal? The answer is of course This week a number of ancient insti- itself ancient and involves a global tutions were once again in the news. conspiracy. Of course, the top story around the The pope, the Queen, the Olympic world is the sudden retirement of Games, not to mention the endless Pope Benedict XVI. Representing coverage of the Oscars, Superbowl or one billion Catholics worldwide, from U.S. presidential elections are all a big his seat in the Vatican the 2000-year- scam, a huge lie to keep us distracted, old papacy continues to be relevant confused and unable to appreciate or today. Case in point: Benedict is the stop the real culprit, the man behind first cardinal of Rome to "leave office" the curtain, the ancient evil: namely, in more than 600 years. Which is the space aliens that actually run the funny, because he's supposed to be world. God's representative on earth and I don't know what this race of usually they die in the position. I beings is called, where they come guess God screwed up somewhere. from or why they're here on Earth, Old popes aren't the only historic but one thing is certain: they are all- stink wafting through our 21st-cen- powerful, all-knowing and in abso- tury headlines. Queen Elizabeth II lute control. Since prehistory, we have of the United Kingdom and British been their obedient vassals, hardly Commonwealth is constantly cap- aware of their might or authority turing public attention, such as her over all human affairs. They built the recent hospitalization. On the throne pyramids, overseeing the armies and since 1952, Elizabeth is herself a relic banks and corporations of the world. (not to mention the fact that the Brit- They pull the strings on their pup- ish crown stretches back many centu- pet queens and popes and presidents ries). Despite her old age and almost leading us to believe are in charge, entirely ceremonial position, any when we are all their slaves. time the Queen or her family so much I discovered them one night when as sneezes you know it's going to be surfing the internet. Many websites front page news. From the almost- spoke of them, but when I would go relevant drama of Charles and Di's back to verify what I had read, all the wedding, affairs, divorce and Princess information had vanished without a Diana's tragic death in a car accident, trace. This removal is no coincidence; to what weightless regime Duchess the alien overlords are real! Fergie is failing at, the royal family is Read this article while you can, under a constant media spotlight. because the truth is fleeting. Even From global fascination with age- now, they're watching every single old feuds like the Israeli-Palestin- one of us making sure we don't speak ian conflict, the Olympic Games or out or stand up against them. The Brandy versus Monica, mainstream aliens must be stopped! Human- media's gaze keep us fixated on past ity must be set free! Resist the Pope; battle lines that continue to divide forget about the Queen, Obama or and conquer into the present day. Romney. It's the aliens who have and Even in an age of intense 24/7 cable always will be our true masters. news and ceaseless social media, it Do you hear that? Oh no. They've seems everything old is new again been reading this, watching me, com- and again and again. ing for me! Save yourselves, before But why is this? Why do the pow- it's too late... ers-that-be continue to narrow our You can’t see them. But they’re everywhere. • • • Photo by Bonathan Jotstein HRM pays municipal workers to spread snow, ice on sidewalks New initiative bringing seniors into empty hospitals Justin’ Hardly pastures and are now industrial drill- Staff Contributor ing stations) the HRM knew employ- ment needed to be increased. The Now that the winter storm sea- new initiative has increased the num- son is behind Atlantic Canada, the ber of employed municipal workers, HRM can look back at their newest as well as hospital staff, for the HRM. initiative with pride. The new plan In addition to increased employ- increased employment in the HRM ment, the initiative also brought and helped fill our empty hospitals. much-needed traffic to HRM emer- The new initiative worked in five gency rooms. Throughout Nova Sco- simple steps: tia underused hospitals have been closing on weekends and cutting • Call a winter parking ban immedi- costs wherever possible. The HRM ately at the first sign of snow government was concerned that the • During the wee hours of the morn- only major hospitals in Nova Scotia ing plow the streets and burying any (the IWK, QEII or the Halifax Infir- remaining cars mary) were doomed to fail of under- • Have a new group of municipal use like the hospitals in the province workers travel behind the snowplows backwoods. and, with a hose, flood the sidewalks The HRM knew they needed to of the HRM so they would freeze increase the amount of patients and • Then, using the excess snow from to would keep the hospitals in good the street, have the newly employed health. This new initiative increased worker create huge snowdrifts on the slipping hazards strategically aimed city sidewalks at the retired populous because they • The elderly fall on the newly iced would not be leaving to go out west sidewalks and are taken to the emer- for work. Also, elderly citizens have gency room increased hospital stays compared to the university/young adult populous. This new initiative, which is the Speaking from experience, this ini- best received since the previously tiative worked without a hitch. One mentioned parking ban, was a stroke weekend I had to work early on both of genius. Saturday and Sunday. On both of With so many Atlantic Canadians these days I had to walk in the middle travelling out west to greener pas- of the road because of the constructed tures (or, what used to be greener slipperiness of the sidewalks. High fives all around for a successful employment initiative. • • • Photo by Dup Danders
rehto other other other. are you talented and hilarious? submit: theothergazette@dalgazette.com Ben Hallapher Other Editor Jonathan Botreen Other Other Editor ADVICE FOR REACTIONS LOOKING BACK STUDENTS Post-grad prospects Party talk Charles by likelihood —Jonathan Rottenstain Taylor CEO ¢ Philosopher BARISTA ¢¢¢ “Think” WORLD TRAVELLER ¢¢¢¢¢¢¢ UNEMPLOYED ¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢ EXTRA YEAR OF SCHOOL ¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢ ANOTHER DEGREE ¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢¢ GET VENN’D SCAN Work IF YOU DARE! MYSTERY QR CODE —Rebecca Roar KIND OF SATIRE IS doo doo dah dah —Daniel Goldenboy dee dee dee LOOK-A-LIKES Halifax f lag —Bethany Be-Right-Back EAST COAST Anne of Green Gables COMMON THE ORIGINAL TORONTO PIGEON KINGFISHER BIG BIRD BLUE JAY —DR IMPORTANT INFORMATION POETRY 2012-2013 DSU Executive infomercial alternative lifestyle loss prevention doublespeak friendly fire downsizing moral majority compassionate conservative corporate responsibility RACE smart bomb waste management family values capital punishment right to life immaculate conception regime change affirmative action coalition of the willing behaviourally challenged —Andrea —Jane Ruby Funheart GENDER —JR
Say something about taxation By Jonny Rot and Big C AgNew “I’m too broke for that” “Tax the rich” “Tax returns are optional for “It pays for public services” “Tax increase means an increase in services” Sam Legere David Figueroa international students like me” John Hutton Ana Vidovic 2nd-year English Vagabond Vintage Mandy Peng 3rd-year commerce 4th-year IDS and economics Master’s of public administration “I advocate for graduated tax increases “I would feel better about taxes if they went “It’s good, but still sucks” “Tax returns are good” “Oh god” to eliminate student debt” towards more things I supported” Matthew Jamieson Camille DesRosiers-Ste. Marie Sabina Pollayparambil Alexandra Killhan Derrick R. Dixon Artist 1st-year IDS 2nd-year marine biology 3rd-year SOSA 3rd-year music and anthropology
erutlucstra erutluc & stra arts covers cultural happenings in Halifax. Email Andfrew and Meaban at arts@dalgazette.com to contribute. Andfrew Pills Arts Editor Willie Stratton and the Boarding Party hope to afford a couch with successful music career Joana Tussler Stratton says he “has someone who nition of “making it” is,” he says. Arts Contributor helps him take care of stuff,” and he’s Fultz says, “Success comes from the “pretty sure its some kind of accoun- pursuit of the things you love. It is The name “Willie Stratton and the tant.” He considers himself to be for- important to be in control of all the Boarding Party” is a clever adage to tunate since other bands without an possibilities in life and how each Willie possibly being the only origi- accountant or manager are forced moment affects you. Hatred makes nal member—and besides, changing to take on mountains of paperwork you lose momentum.“ He plans to the name each time a new member on their own, making the incremen- “make [his] entire life into an art joins would be exhausting. The cur- tal profits of the music industry that project” and believes that he can rent Boarding Party lineup includes much harder. enact the social change he wants front-man Willie, his younger sister The band currently makes most of through music. Grace Stratton, a student at NSCAD, its money through SOCAN royalties, In ten years Stratton sees himself Dave “The Obnoxious Silver Fox” the Canadian copyright collective, producing music in a big studio on a Fultz, and Daniel Crowther, the Truro as well as web campaigns for Roots farm. Fultz isn’t sure he’ll be making connection. Both Fultz and Stratton Clothing Company and UNESCO. enough in the music industry to pay left the student life to immerse them- Unfortunately all the money goes his rent in ten years, but hopes he’ll selves in the pursuit of a full-time into the band fund. This makes the still have a couch. music career, but in these economi- band happy and allows them to travel cally dubious times has it paid off? and take care of “band things.” The Both Strattons, like most other members themselves find other ways Check out Willie’s band at: 20-somethings, still live with their to survive and be happy. WillieStratton.com and parents and, unlike other siblings, When asked about his success, get on very well. On the other hand, Stratton answered that “some people WillieStratton.bandcamp.com Fultz is the ultimate vagabond, who might define success as being a bil- crashes at his mother’s apartment lionaire and stuff,” but all he asks for while she’s in Florida if he isn’t couch is to “sustain respect in his commu- Romantic vagabonds. surfing. nity. It all depends on what your defi- • • • Photo supplied Student growing beard like Ben Caplan’s, has no regrets THE HIDDEN COSTS OF THE BEARD BRIGADE Andfrew Pills “He just stood there with a can half Arts Editor full of molasses beans, while we told him straight: 'man, Ben Caplan has a Inspired by a rousing Ben Caplan beard, but that doesn't mean he won't performance in October, third-year attend to personal hygiene.'” sociology student Jeremy Morris is attempting to grow a substantial beard. “THAT WAS IT, “Ben Caplan is like the love off- spring of a drunken sailor and an old THE LAST testament prophet,” he said in one of many conversations after the perfor- TIME I'VE mance while the incipient beardosity, which would soon take over his face SPOKEN and life, was still but a few harmless bristles on his lower jaw. WITH HIM.” Morris, whose beard grows in irregular patches, says he's never gone “full Caplan” before, but it's a “We sat him down and sort of gave choice he defends against the well- him this ultimatum—reminded him intentioned interference of friends. of everything he'd lost since he 'd “At first we thought it was a joined a beard cult where his patchy Movember thing, you know, grow the facial hair genetics essentially barred beard out and carve a sweet handle- him from any meaningful participa- bar mustache, but by mid-December tion; we asked him if it was worth it— we we're like 'dude, really?'” said fra- if our friendship still meant anything ternity brother Rob Troy. to him,” Troy said. Morris's long-time girlfriend Ash- “He just stood up, and sang the ley Cooper left him over Christmas first eight lines of Caplan's “Down To break for someone who unnamed The River” recalls Troy. “That was it, sources agree “looks a lot more like the last time I've spoken with him, Rich Aucoin.” though I do walk past him feeding “It's not like she didn't try to reach seagulls at the harbourfront some- out to him,” said a source close to times,” he says. Cooper, “she bought the dude a beard Morris says he'll grow the beard trimmer and some new kicks, but he out for three years in a bid to join the just had to spend all his time scrib- Beard Brigade, Caplan's street team. bling in a Moleskine at Java Blend in “The beard is just a reminder to live those smelly sandals with a business life more fully,” he said before launch- of ferrets growing on his face,” she ing accapella into the existential cho- said. rus of River. Morris, who sleeps with In The Times of Great Remembering blast- “Cause there is no such thing as a ing on a constant loop (believing the dying man singer's baritone vocals stimulate We’re alive ’till the moment we’re dead small follicle growth) has been seen and a drowning man is just a living rubbing raw farmer's market honey man into his beard, a practice he says bal- Who hasn’t run out of his last bit of ances the essential oils of the beard. breath.” Increasing lifestyle concerns led to an intervention in March that Inspiration. “went all wrong” according to Troy. • • • Photo by Syn Krotchety
• March 15 - March 21, 2013 erutlucst ra 13 DISPATCHES FROM THE FUTURE Rosie O'Mallard DIGITAL FOSSILS Arts Contributor Clancy Jenkins was riding his bike Jenkins during an interview in his ing to replicate the activity that led while listening to classical music— home office. to the discovery of the virtual world. something he'd never done before. Jenkins says it was like bathing Jenkins has been drilled on his loca- He got the idea after mixing rai- in layers of information that were tion, speed, piece of music and vol- sins, his first favourite snack food, “there, but didn't exist”. After the ume. He went even further, offering into marshmallows melting for Rice basic, numerical layer, he saw images up his mood, fatigue levels and what Krispie squares, his second-favourite and pages. Jenkins thinks the march- he was daydreaming about. “One snack food. “The result,” says Jenkins, ing, humming numbers were codes can't presume to know which param- “shifted my snacking paradigms.” for the images and pages. eter counts,” he says. Jenkins decided to mix more of his “'Facebook' was written on the Josie Burrard's voice gleamed dur- favourite things. Two of his favou- most predominate pages. They ing a phone interview. Burrard is a rite past-times are casual cycling and seemed to be a compilation of facts historian whose focus is the early classical music. Jenkins picked up and pictures, composed by individu- 2000s. She says the internet was a digital fossils accidentally with his als.” compilation of coded numbers that radical leisure activity combination. Jenkins thinks the 'Facebook' pages translated into virtual worlds, similar The virtual notes left floating in the were some sort of digital replicate of to those described in Jenkins' layman air since at least 2013 resonated with the nature of individual humans in terms. Humans at that time used his fibre optic sensitive bike spokes the years 2006-2013. the internet as a tool and for leisure. and interfered with his speakers. He “I don't know why I get that feel- Burrard says, “that period, the early crashed his bike, smashing his por- ing, though,” says Jenkins. “These 2000s, is called 'the age of informa- table-mini-record-playing device things I'm saying, I can't prove them. tion'. The internet was basically a way (commonly known as 'Goldens-on- They're just intuitions I felt after I to store vast amounts of information the-Go', or just 'Goldies'), when he was immersed in the digital world, in a way that didn't take up any real was immersed in a not quite real, not and before I ran my bike into the space. It turned in to what was called quite fake world. ditch.” a 'cyberspace'. Clancy seems to have Jenkins experienced the virtual 'Facebook', according to Jenkins, discovered some sort of magical for- world momentarily, as the means to was a replacement for day-to-day mula to unwrap the secrets of cyber- its exposure were eliminated with its interactions. “I can see how that space.” exposure, but the impact left a great would be useful, from a superficial Burrard says Jenkins' discovery impression on him. perspective, but then grow to be cold, will be as important for humankind “First codes flashed by, blinking lonely and isolating. People used con- as the Dead Sea Scrolls. numbers marching in infinite rows. structed, hollow, not quite real ver- In the meantime, Jenkins says the The numbers hummed, a mind- sions to represent themselves to each experience left him shaken. “It's too numbing mundane noise. I could other.” bad,” he says. “Cycling with Vivaldi just barely make it out. I didn't want Since Jenkins crashed his bike, sci- was really quite divine.” to listen to it, but couldn't stop,” says entists and historians have been try- The void is real! • • • Photo by Clancy Jenkins University of Ottawa | Faculty of Arts TWEET US @dalgazette @gazetteopinions @gazette_arts @dalgazettesport @dalgazettephoto @gazettecontests Master of Arts in World Literatures and Cultures A new interdisciplinary and bilingual one-year program LIKE US ON facebook.com/ DalGazette
14 erutlucst ra March 15 - March 21, 2013 • “Look, a squirrel!” • • • Photo by Sevan McOutyre Overwhelming majority of university students in Halifax claim to suffer from attention deficit disorders Sevan McOutyre whilst checking Facebook on their said third-year engineering student, Staff Contributor smartphone. Patricia Rae, “I disagree because it's “Oh, yeah I totally have it,” said Joel an effective communication medium Have a hard time concentrating on Myles, a second-year management between people working on simi- the task at hand? Can't seem to get student. “I don't understand. I really lar projects. It's distracting, but it's things finished on time? You may be prepare to study,” he said. essential.” she said. among 83 per cent of those surveyed He described his studying regime, In efforts to overcome this issue, in a recent study about attention dis- “I set up in the Killam so I can be Dalhousie is spending $1.2 million orders in university students. there for an entire day. I have my on an interactive learning centre. The study, done by the Faculty computer, cup of coffee, gum, smart- According to a press release, the room of Academic Research Thinktank, phone, iPod, and snacks.” Myles said. will contain a lot of sensory stimuli, —Jessica Perrie found that an overwhelming majority “I usually go with friends to the learn- will not have desks, and speakers will of students believe they may be suf- ing commons on the lower floor of the play Facebook notification and mes- TSETAL EHT LLA fering from Attention Deficit Disor- der. FART spoke to undiagnosed stu- Killam, I find the silence in the stacks to be too distracting, you know?” “I just don't understand how I'm sage sounds intermittently through- out the day. Regardless, FART finds that 70 per dents and found that 52 per cent of not getting any work done.” Myles cent of those who perceive themselves respondents claimed they “probably said, “I honestly don't leave the Kil- as having Attention Deficit Disor- had ADD” and 25 per cent “totally lam between 10 a.m. and 2 a.m. on der can usually find Adderall from a have it” and eight per cent were most weekends.” friend or roommate with a prescrip- assumed to be compliant because “People criticize Facebook saying tion. they wandered off during interview it's not an effective part of studying,”
• March 15 - March 21, 2013 erutlucst ra 15 PUPPY PEERS: Dal goes to the dogs, literally Mary Motherbater But critics says the administration Arts Contributor and students onion aren't consider- ing the implications of integration Is Dalhousie becoming a dog-eat-dog and only the bottom-line. Scott Trev- world? It looks that way, after outgo- orson represents the newly formed ing president Bom Braves revealed group Dal Students for Humanity a new master plan to offer condi- that has sprung up in reaction to the tional admittance to very intelligent announcement. canines. Successful puppy applicants "We've seen this coming for a long will enter BA and BSc neurobiology time," Trevorson says, "The higher- programs starting in September. ups have been laying the ground The overwhelming popular "puppy work for several years now and it's an room" that was launched by the Dal- open secret that dogs at Dal is central housie Student Onion (DSO) dur- to President Braves’ legacy-building. ing the fall exam period was a testing What they're not considering is the ground for "new talent," says Braves. consequences." "I am pleased to welcome this new Trevorson and Dal Students for era of interdisciplinary—cross spe- Humanity state that dogs are indeed cies innovation." not human equals. "It's just a cash- With the puppy room, "we saw that grab, plain and simple. The school there was an unfulfilled demand," is running out of money and eli- Braves continues. "Students were gible human students. That means saying, 'we want dogs to be more inte- they have to start looking elsewhere grated on campus,' and indeed made to keep the school running, but this full peers." thoughtless action is going to destroy DSO spokesperson Laura Upling the school instead," Trevorson says. says the student onion fully supports While it is true that the first dog the move. "At one point in time, Dal scholars accepted into Dal will pay was a male-only school, later still only tuition rates close to that of foreign white students could attend. Today students, even if they come from we're saying that Dal is truly diverse Nova Scotia, Braves insists profit is and open to anyone." not behind the decision. "Why stop at dogs," Upling says, "Absolutely not," says Braves from pointing to the limitless number of the new on-campus Doghouse, a non-human species living on planet state-of-the-art dog social space in Woof, woof. Bow wow. Arf arf. Growl. • • • Photo by Mary Motherbater earth. the former Grad House site. "This is "They may be 'man's best friend' but about saying, it's the 21st century and Upling agrees. "This is way past interests of all or are they merely try- classmates will be a reality on cam- we really can't limit ourselves. Cats, dogs deserves to be treated with the overdue, and quite frankly I have to ing to maintain their own status and pus. mice, owls, chickens, the list of poten- same respect as humans, deserve the question the motivations of any per- privilege?" "Long walks, chasing the ball around, tially eligible and beneficial critters same access to education and oppor- son or groups who resist it. Are Stu- Heated debate aside, it looks like late-night cuddles—what's not to goes on and on." tunity as any human." dents for Humanity really for the best Dal is going to the dogs and canine like?" says Braves. Totally 90s Decade makes a splash at Dal • • • Photo by Mort Moopstein Kevin Captcha back. It's a primer on 1990s pop- too, actually we met in the class, and Arts Contributor children's literature, well, at least, she think it's hard too. Shannon, isn't it used to be," Kim says, "We go in- Clifford books hard? Like, the 1990s are, totally, back depth into some unrecognized clas- "Totally," says Shannon. again. No you didn't jump into a time sics like the Animorphs books series, Hey Shannon, what's your last machine and travel way back to the the Berenstain Bears and Clifford the name? Peteres? Oh, Peters. Cool. past! From fashion to phrases to even Big Friendly Dog book series." So like, everyone's talking about an English class at Dal, the decade "Well we're actually not really the 90s! Professor Kim's class is a big more students were born in, is in, in a going to be going in-depth anymore, success and now the English depart- big way, in 2013. students couldn't really handle it. ment is thinking of expanding its line I was born into 1990 and so were Basically we read a few of each series. of 1990s literary series. all my friends. We totally had the But not all of them. There are over "I'm developing a Goosebumps/ Internet since forever and mem- 50 Animorphs books. Students really Fear Street class as we speak. No not ber MySpace? I love animated gifs, couldn't handle that heavy a work- literally as we are talking now, but at they're so funny, don't stop moving! I load," Dr Kim says. [Is professor Kim this time. No, not right right now, I'm wear neon hat, shoe, sunglass alltime. a doctor, look into it. What makes a talking to you. I mean it's something Snoop Dog! Who let the dogs out? professor a doctor, look into it?] I'm currently working on. Oh, never The 1990s were from 1990-1999, like The Animorphs series was about mind." says Kim. over ten years ago. kids who turned into animals and Kim is honest about why the class Professor Steve Kim wasn't born suspenseful stuff happens. And every- isn't ready right now. I totally want in the 90s but he won't tell me what one remembers Clifford he was so big to take it. "I haven't released it yet year he was born but he looks like he's and cute puppy. And it doesn't matter because I'm fine-tuning the work- 30. [Look at what year Prof Kim was that we don't read all the Berenstain load making sure students can han- born.] He teach English 2039: from Bears because I had all those books dle reading the difficult vocabulary Animorphs to Clifford at Dalousy when I was a kid and I already read and subject matter present in each University. every single one of those like a billion of master R. L. Stein's masterpieces." So, okay, first off all why Animorphs times so get over it. says Kim. to Clifford? "Well, I tried to do Ani- While Mr. Kim says that the work- OMG. It better not be hard because morphs to Lord Zed from, like an A load has been reduced this year, I better get an A or I'm going to call to Z thing the last couple of semesters I'm in this class and it's really truly my mommy. And I'm your boss Pro- but students couldn't handle the vol- hard. We have to read like six Clif- fessor Kim, I pay your salary so I bet- ume of material," Kim says. ford books, who has time for any of ter get an A++ in Animorphs class or "This winter, I brought the class it? My friend Shannon is in the class you're going to hear from mother.
strops strops sports covers athletic events and topics relevant to Dalhousie. Email Ian and Graeme at sports@dalgazette.com to contribute Ian Frankenstein Sports Editor Women’s hockey’s new home: Alabama All rinks in the province unavailable Boris Carlof from the scenic Oak Mountain State Online Editor Park. “I don't even feel comfortable riding my Dal broom around campus anymore.” • • • Photo by Maid Marien The arena was chosen after a Dalhousie Athletics has announced lengthy search process. At first, Dal Dal Quidditch team grounded in hazing fallout in an email to donors that the wom- en’s hockey team will play their home contained their search to arenas in the HRM. It quickly became clear, games next season at the Pelham however, that all rinks in the city had Rookies reportedly forced to catch snitch greased with Vaseline Civic Complex in Pelham, Alabama. tenants for the 2013-14 season. “After the issues securing an arena Once plans to use a rink in New Heathen Campbell intimidation, personal disrespect—it wearing the blazers. I kept mine after for the women’s hockey team to play Glasgow fell through—the Pictou Staff Contributor was bullying,” the muggle said. “The the party; I even wore it to The Dome in last season, we are tremendously County Minor Hockey Association blazers they were forced to wear were last night.” excited for this new opportunity,” had all game times booked for pee- The Dalhousie athletic community so blasé; it was simply unacceptable.” With 17 of its 22 players suspended, read the email sent from Dal Athlet- wee house league games—the Tigers is in shock after it was revealed on As community support poured in— the Dal Quidditch team pleaded for ics. had to broaden their horizons. The Monday the school's Quidditch team including a Facebook group titled reinstatement Thursday by writing The email said that the choice of final decision was between the Pel- would forfeit the remainder of their “Wizards and Warlocks for the Dal- an apologetic letter to the university the Pelham Civic Complex, which ham Civic Complex, The RRRink season due to a hazing incident. housie Varsity Quidditch Team”— signed by each player. The univer- will be the only American rink to host in Medford, Oregon and Ice Palace A six-week investigation which one member of the team, who didn’t sity’s muggle spokesperson doesn't CIS-level hockey, promises to bring Astana in Pavlodar, Kazakhstan. failed to produce any real evidence want her name published to protect expect the team's request to change dividends to both parties. “What makes Pelham special is its whatsoever proved to be all the uni- her from unwarranted consequences anything. “We would be the chief tenants of location,” said one Dal coach, who versity needed to end the Tigers’ by the university, broke the team's “I’m not going to say they’re going the building, which is something we was involved in the decision-making hopes of achieving 2013 AUS Quid- silence. to be unsuccessful in their appeal, but wouldn’t get anywhere in this coun- process. “I think the girls will find it ditch gold. “I don’t even feel comfortable rid- they’re going to be unsuccessful in try,” it read. “And they would get some harder to make any poor decisions The episode reportedly occurred ing my Dal broom around campus their appeal.” high quality hockey to fill up time there.” at a mead-fuelled rookie party where anymore. It’s tough when we were so By forfeiting their final 12 games of slots where the arena would other- In an anonymous letter, a member five first-year players were forced to proud to be called Tigers and show the season, Dal will pay $24,000 in wise be unused. of the women’s hockey team slammed catch a golden snitch greased with our Tiger pride, but now we’re forced league fines, which is the equivalent “We’re all really pleased with the the decision, saying it was “sym- Vaseline while wearing blazers. They to hide ourselves,” said the source, of throwing coffee change down the arrangement, and I’m sure the team bolic of our unfair treatment,” and also answered horrific questions who is planning on riding another sewer for Atlantic Canada’s largest will love spending their winters in remarked that “Alabama’s weather posed by the team's 17 veterans such broom in protest. university. sunny Alabama.” kinda sucks.” A Facebook page, titled as “who is the prettiest wizard?” One rookie on the team said that Due to the Tigers dropping out of The Pelham Civic Complex seats “Keep Dal Women’s Hockey In Hali- Some muggle spokesperson for Dal despite this ordeal, her time with the league play, every other AUS Quid- 5,000 people. It was the former home fax,” had 154 likes within a day of its stressed that playing dress-up and Tigers has been positive. ditch team has automatically quali- of the now-defunct professional creation. exchanging compliments is in strict “My experience of playing on the fied for the playoffs, which is sure to hockey team the Alabama Slam- At press time, Dal’s men’s hockey violation of university policy. team has been great,” the rookie said. make for some dramatic games down mers, and currently plays host to the team was slated to begin the 2013-14 “There was a hazing incident “I missed the snitch and fell on my the stretch. University of Alabama’s club hockey season at the Halifax Forum. involving drinking, humiliation, ass a few times, but I actually enjoyed team. It is a short 15-minute drive
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