The Mobility Revolution-HYPER CONFIDENTIAL - Page 1 of 4289 - Business Insider

The Mobility Revolution

    – HYPER CONFIDENTIAL –
                             Page 1 of 4289

The Problem
E-scooters
   suck!

E-scooters are…
Uncomfortable   Dangerous   Hideous

But: Investors love them!
      $935M raised

      Just got $250M from an investor that is
      ALWAYS right!

       $623M raised with that weird logo
       (they don’t even rent out birds!)

And: More players coming

               Launching soon, crazy
              hipster CEO, apparently
                MASSIVE war chest

Why does nobody see the
CLEARLY superior solution?

PONIES

Ponies are…
Super smooth     Super safe   Super cute

Also, Ponies are an
absolute MEGA-TREND
      right now:

People want
   them!

Biggest show
               on Netflix!
• Pony King

Smash hit
                     “Wet Ass Pony”!
• WAP Wet Ass Pony

PONY VIDEOS                                                    PONYSTARS
                                                                                                               No. 1 global
                                                                                                              PONY

                                                                          Ponyhub
                                                                                                                website!
                                                                                                    Ponyhub

 Hot Pony Videos in Iceland

Hot blonde Pony solo on a green   Gorgeous Shetland Pony having    Hairy Iceland Pony looking for
meadow                            fun in the mountains             companionship

Pony getting the Iceland summer   Just a pretty Pony eating some   Closeup of amateur Pony first                     Ads By Pony Junky
sun straight in the face          hay in Mongolia                  time on camera

That’s where we come in,
with our GENIUS SOLUTION:

Rental Ponies
for everyone,
 everywhere

Our amazing
 brand and
unique logo

(The umlaut was an
 idea our Über driver
  had the other day –
great guy, might offer
  him an internship!)

Our amazing
and unique
 app design

This will work
in big cities…

…the
suburbs…

…and even
 abroad!

Products for all Use Cases

Okay, we know what
  you’re thinking:

“Sounds amazing,
but can you execute
     the tech?”
             - Every Guy in
               a Vest right
                  now

Yes. Our beta already offers different modes:

     (Including everybody’s favorite…)

…DARK
MODE!

We’ve performed well in
early benchmarking tests!

Beta testers are
     Testimonial
    super excited:

“I love riding on Pöny™.
  It’s so comfortable, I
    don’t even need a
           shirt!”
     - Vlad P., Pony Lover

We have even figured out the
  charging infrastructure:

Supercarrot Network™

Our product is amazing, but
our COMPANY CULTURE will
    ensure our success:

Strong Company Values

 We don’t
mistreat our
employees!

Main KPI:
        NPS
(Net Pony Satisfaction)

Pony Spa

Mental Health
  Support

50 Shades of Hay
                   Standing Desks

Freedom to
work on other
   projects
(“20% time”)

My co-founder even
 brings them muffins –
he’s the motherly type.

(Funny story, I found him
  through this tweet!)

Our company motto is…

…lived every
 day by our
employees!

Our business model
  is very simple:

to unlock

per mile

But we have additional
  revenue streams:

Branding Partnerships
Standard

Branding Partnerships
Localized

We also sell
Pony Manure as fertilizer*,
   giving us a strong…

Weed Tech angle!
           *Does not make weed taste like poop

And we have strong
aftermarket potential!

So how do we market
our amazing product?

“WILL THIS GO
  VIRAL?”
         - Every Guy in
           a Vest right
              now

Hell no! Nobody wants
to be LIKE A VIRUS in 2020.
    Instead, we’ll be…

VIRAL

And we already found a
  great consultant* to help
       us achieve this!

 * She has PhDs from Harvard in
   Microbiology, Macrobiology,
Bacteriology, and Business Ethics

We also have great
print ads planned:

And our influencer
marketing will be FIRE:

ALL influencers want to be part of it!

“But can I really be
sure this will work?”
              - Every Guy in
                a Vest right
                   now

Well, do these guys’
 predictions mean
 anything to you?

Episode “Ponies Rule”, February 15, 1954

Okay, then let’s talk
about why we’re here:
   FUNDRAISING!

Has Ponies
We have a
clear USP:

 Shitty                      Awesome

             Has No Ponies

Our (conservative!) revenue
    estimates* give you the
   perfect hockey stick every
     investor is looking for:

                  2019 2020 2021 2022 2023 2024 2025 2026 2027 2028 2029 2030 2031 2032

*conservatively estimated

We have a
kick-ass…                       Team

           CFO                       CEO                   CMO
 Creative Financing Officer   Chief Equine Officer   Chief Muffin Officer

And an
amazing…             Advisory Board

      Lucky                 Blacky         Donald Trump
   (Stable Genius)       (Stable Genius)

We’re raising
   $50M to build…

The World’s         1 st

  #Ponycorn

This guy is already
camping in front of
   our office…

But we’d prefer this guy:
(I mean, talk about FIT!)

And for future
rounds, these
guys would be
   perfect!

                 Ventures

But if nobody
invests now, we have
creative ideas how to
     stay afloat:

Come ride with us
to I P Country!

Come ride with us
to I P Country!
   (Sorry, that was
    the old slide!)

Check out more       Learn how to make
   Startup Comedy at    awesome pitches from

www.StartupFunny.com   www.PitchDoctor.com