Clara Hughes: Opening Hearts, Opening Minds
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HOUSE OF COMMONS / CHAMBRE DES
COMMUNES
Clara Hughes: Opening Hearts,
Opening Minds
A discourse on how one woman has affected the way Canadians
think about mental health disorders
Sara Carleton
7/10/2014
Final report submission for the Centennial Flame Research Award.Table of Contents
Introduction 2
Mental Health
What is a Mental Health Disability? 3
Facts About Mental Health in Canada 5
Stigma and Mental Health 6
Clara’s History
Early Years Through the “Terrible Teens” 9
The Moment Everything Changed 11
Clara and Sport 12
Hitting the Wall of Depression 15
Getting Help 17
Giving Back
A Role Model for Canadians 19
Spokesperson for Mental Health 21
Clara’s Big Ride 23
General Spokesperson Roles 26
Honours 28
Clara’s Effect on Parliament 30
Conclusion 32
Appendix: List of Achievements and Awards 33
Bibliography 36
1Introduction
Clara Hughes has a mane of carrot-coloured hair, a smile as big as Canada, and a heart to
match. She is an international sports star, winning 6 Olympic medals in 2 sports over 6
Olympics, not to mention the dozens of other national and international podium spots garnered
over a 25 year career.
But you can’t talk about Clara and sport without also talking about Clara and mental health,
because behind that infectious smile and award resume that leaves the rest of the sport world
gasping lies a deep, dark struggle with mental illness. Her amazing accomplishments in sport
happened despite a depressive disorder that ground her career – and the rest of her life – almost
to a complete standstill for two years.
Clara’s life is comprised of opposites: difficult child vs. successful adult; summer sport vs.
winter sport; fierce competitor vs. empathic helper. Yet through it all her determination and
compassion are constant, binding threads.
This report is a chronicle of Clara’s passion, struggle, and triumph.
Author’s note: As much as possible, I have had Clara tell her own story. Woven into this report
is the integration of information from interviews Clara has given over the past 5 years with many
interviewers, including myself. So this is not just about Clara and her struggles and triumphs, it
is also as much as possible by Clara – her words, her story, and her perspective are here for you.
Unless otherwise indicated, all quotes are Clara’s own words.
2What Is A Mental Health Disability?
Before talking about Clara Hughes and her contributions to the collective Canadian awareness
of mental health issues in our country, we need to take a moment to talk about mental health –
what is considered a mental health disorder, and why it is so important that Canadians know and
talk about it.
The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health defines mental illness as “changes in a person’s
thinking, mood and behaviour that cause a lot of distress and make it difficult to do daily tasks.” (CAMH,
Introduction)
So far, no one knows for sure what causes mental illness, although most studies suggest that a
combination of factors such as genetics, environmental factors, personal experiences, and
physical conditions determine the onset, severity and recovery of most mental health problems.
But whatever the cause or the type of illness, a person’s mental health problems are not his or her
fault. (CAMH, Introduction)
There is no physical characteristic that marks someone as having a mental disorder. Mental
illness is invisible. And because of this, many mental health disabilities are harder to
acknowledge because there’s nothing to see or test or measure. The pain, frustration, confusion,
and fear lie deep within and it is difficult to quantify the experience or the suffering externally.
In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM5) published
by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), there are over 20 different categories of mental
health disorders, including:
schizophrenia spectrum disorders
bipolar disorders
depressive and anxiety disorders
obsessive-compulsive disorders
3 trauma-related disorders (including PTSD)
dissociative and personality disorders
somatic symptom disorders
eating and elimination disorders
sleep-wake disorders
sexual dysfunctions, gender dysphoria and paraphilic disorders
disruptive, impulse-control, and conduct disorders
substance-related and addictive disorders
neuro-cognitive disorders
(1-8)
Each disorder can run the gamut from mild to severe symptoms depending on the individual.
Many are life-long illnesses that require continuing treatment. While they range in symptoms
and severity, there is one thing that all mental health disorders have in common – they can be
treated. Unfortunately, not everyone with a mental health disorder seeks help. And even those
who do, do not get the help they need.
A 2012 study done on the perceived need for mental health care in Canada found that over
17% of the population reported needing mental health care, but 33% of those people had their
need unmet or only partially met (Sunderland 3). Translated into real people, that means that in
one year almost 6 million Canadians needed help, and 2 million of those people didn’t get the
help they needed.
While Clara talks about her own story, which focuses on depression, she is clear that her
desire is to open up the conversation and reduce stigma around all types of mental illness.
4Facts About Mental Health in Canada
According to the World Health Organization, mental disorders:
o make up 4 of the 10 leading causes of disability worldwide.
o account for about 12% of worldwide disease, yet the mental health budgets of
most countries make up less than one per cent of their total health expenditures.
(CAMH, Introduction)
1 in 5 Canadians will experience a mental illness in his or her lifetime (Let’s Talk). It is a
guarantee that someone you know is suffering with a mental health disorder.
Mental health problems affect people of all ages, education and income levels, jobs,
religions, and cultures. (CAMH, Stigma Tutorial)
Mental health problems and illnesses account for more than $50 billion in lost
productivity costs due to absenteeism and presenteeism. (“Facts”)
4 out of 5 children in Canada who need mental health services do not receive them. (Let’s
Talk)
3.2 million Canadian youth between the ages of 12 to 19 are at risk for developing
depression every year. (Let’s Talk)
Mental health disorders in youth are ranked as the second highest hospital care
expenditure in Canada (surpassed only by injuries). (Let’s Talk)
Once depression is recognized, help can make a difference for 80% of people who are
affected, allowing them to get back to their regular activities. (“Depression in”)
Improved access to peer support, housing, and community-based services can improve
quality of life and help to keep people living with mental health problems and illnesses
out of hospitals and out of the criminal justice system. (“Facts”)
5Stigma and Mental Health
At least 1 in 5 Canadians will have a mental illness. And of those, almost 70% of them will
suffer in silence, fearing judgment and rejection (“Let’s End”). In the website introduction for
the Centre for Addictions and Mental Health, it states:
Fear and misunderstanding have caused a strong stigma about mental illness. Stigma can lead to
people being shamed, shunned, blamed and even physically harmed just because they have a
mental illness.
Stigma adds to the suffering caused by mental health problems. It also stops many people with
mental health problems from seeking help. (CAMH Introduction)
Stigma usually stems from ignorance, prejudice or fear (Purse). For example, when a person
tells a friend or coworker that he or she is trying to cope with depression, the response might be:
"Oh, everybody's a little depressed, why are you so special? Toughen up!" (Ignorance)
"Eeew, you're one of those types? Let me know when you get over it. Uh, I gotta go.”
(Prejudice)
"You mean you might flip out and start crying under your desk or something?" (Fear and
ignorance)
The stigma that exists in our society which prevents people from seeking treatment is a major
barrier to healing, but it can change. One of the biggest and most fundamental ways to reduce
stigma is to speak up for those who are suffering, and speak out against negative comments or
portrayals of mental illness. By talking openly and honestly about mental health, we can take
mental disorders out of the shadows caused by ignorance, fear, shame, and silence, and allow
them to become accepted as valid illnesses that require – and deserve – treatment.
…Stigma is very real and it is true for so many people that are suffering. And that’s why,
I think, maybe we don’t have programs in place as they should be to help people because
we’re not talking about it. Seeing as it is a very confusing thing to diagnose, it’s not just
something where, “You have this, now take this medication and you’ll get better.” It’s
different for every single person and there’s often a lot of emotional baggage that goes
into mental illness. …I just think that people don’t want to hear about it. Just like I
never talked about this because who wants to hear about me being depressed, there’s
enough depressing things in the world as it is. (Hughes, “Clara Hughes on”)
6I would hope we could just start seeing mental illness the same way we see physical
illness and disease. There should be compassion, understanding, and treatment. (Hughes,
“Clara Hughes at”)
The stigma surrounding mental illness is a very personal issue for Clara, and since 2010
Clara has devoted her time to a campaign to end the stigma surrounding mental health.
I have a story to tell and a story to share, and I really, really hope that by sharing my very
small story in the whole scheme of this that I can help break down the stigma attached to
mental illness. Because the stigma is the biggest problem. (Hughes, “Clara Hughes on”)
I just want to empower Canadian youth… Help them understand what mental illness is.
What the stigma attached to it is, how ridiculous it is, how unnecessary it is, and really
firmly have them believing that they can erase stigma. That they can be the generation
that grows up and has kids and their kids don’t know a time when people were ashamed
if they were depressed or had anxiety or felt that they couldn’t get help because they
would be judged. (Kennedy, “Clara’s”)
Clara is fighting to change the image of mental illness from a ‘weakness’ to a sickness.
I think it is a perception. It’s a perception that’s based on ignorance. And I include
myself in that ignorance because when I was going through the depression I didn’t know
what was going on with me, I wasn’t educated in that field. I knew people close to me in
my life that had been struggling with different forms of mental illness, but I thought that
couldn’t happen to me. I didn’t know the statistic of 1 in 5 Canadians, I didn’t know
anything about that. And the more I learned about it – and I think the more Canadians
learn about the reality of the situation – you realize, “Maybe this isn’t happening to me,
but now I’m starting to see that it’s somebody around me – my family member, my
friend, my co-worker is.” Or they could realize, “This could happen to me…and what if
it does? What am I going to do if the help is not there?” (Hughes, “Clara Hughes on”)
Because Clara is speaking out about her struggles with mental illness, she is empowering
other Canadians to do the same.
I think [my story] does have an impact because I have a voice because of what I’ve done.
And I’m able to use that voice by sharing my story. If someone thinks I’m weak or
pathetic or thinks I should be ashamed…I don’t care. It’s like me going and racing – if I
don’t win the Olympics and I’ve given everything I have it doesn’t matter to me. That is
my best and that’s all I ever try to give and do. And there’s no difference with this.
(Kennedy, “Clara’s”)
While the stigma associated with having a mental health disorder runs deep in Canada, Clara
has noticed that perceptions are starting to change.
7…people didn't have anyone to talk to. They were afraid. I've met so many people who
said they were afraid they’d lose their job if they said anything. But now I'm starting to
meet people who have actually spoken out or reached out for help, or helped someone
around them. And 99% of the time, what they say is, “I had no idea someone was there to
help me,” or “I had no idea I could get better,” or “I had no idea these programs existed.”
As we open this dialogue and start normalizing mental illness in Canada as a treatable
form of disease, I think people will be amazed how quickly these perceptions will
change. (Hughes, “Clara Hughes at”)
And members of the mental health care profession are noticing how Clara is affecting how
people see mental illness.
Dr. Raj Baklav: What stigma does is it takes away from someone’s understanding that
mental illness is quite common and that people suffering from symptoms are not alone.
So when you get people talking more about mental illness, understanding it’s common,
understanding there’s treatments…they will be more prone to come forward and get some
help. So getting someone like Clara Hughes talking about how she suffered from
depression and how common it is is extremely important. (Let’s Talk)
Many people want to help reduce the stigma associated with mental health issues but are not
sure how. Here are some suggestions:
Talk openly and honestly about mental health.
Learn the facts about mental health and mental illness, and share what you learn.
See the whole person, not just his or her mental health problem, and act with compassion.
Challenge stigma when you see it, whether in the workplace, media, or among your
friends and peers.
8Early Years Through the “Terrible Teens”
Clara was born in Winnipeg, Manitoba on September 27, 1972. Her mother was from
Montreal and her father was a British citizen. The family – Clara, her parents, and her sister
Dodie – lived in the Elmwood area of the city and seemed just like all the rest of the families on
the block. But Clara’s father was struggling with substance abuse and mental illness, which took
its toll on the rest of the family.
Clara’s parents divorced when Clara was 9. Affected by this critical event in her young life,
Clara began to act out.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family, to put it mildly. I grew up with an alcoholic father
who was an undiagnosed bipolar, who’s an artist, who’s a writer, who’s a brilliant mind.
An amazing man, but it was hard growing up in that household. (Kennedy)
As a young person I carried a lot of guilt. I remember being a little girl and listening to
some arguments and I remember quite vividly thinking it was my fault. And I felt like I
couldn’t fix that situation. (Darkness)
My parents split up when I was nine, and my mom raised my sister and me alone. We
were wild animals, untamed. (Munday, “Q & A”)
My mom did the best she could with my sister and I, but we basically went wild after my
parents separated. (Starkman)
By the time Clara was in high school, she was in a downward spiral of wild parties, alcohol,
and drugs.
As a kid from Elmwood, East Kildonan in Winnipeg I did what a lot of my friends did,
which was a lot of drugs, a lot of drinking. I started smoking in grade 3 but picked it up
full-on in grade 6 and was smoking a pack a day by the time I was in grade 7. (Kennedy,
“Clara’s”)
I wasn't into really hard drugs, but I was doing a fair amount of soft drugs and just
partying a lot. I would run away from home for the weekend. I just wouldn't come home.
My mom would be so worried about me. …When I see kids that are like that now, I
think, “You don't know where this can lead you. You're just wasting your life.” I was
wasting my life. I'm not proud of who I was. But at the time, I didn't care about anything.
9I think I didn't have a value system because I came from a dysfunctional family.
(Starkman)
By the time I was 16 years old I wasn’t even going to school anymore. You see, I always
had all of the qualities we talk about what makes a champion – the tenacity, the
abundance of energy, the focus and determination. I always had these things, I just didn’t
know. And much to my mother’s horror, I channeled them into these delinquent places.
I always had teachers telling me, “If only you could find something to focus on and
channel this energy, you could do anything!” But I was making all the wrong choices.
We talk about leadership in business, I had all the qualities of leadership that I was able
to channel into sport when I found it. But as a young person I channeled those leadership
qualities into organization of parties in downtown stairwells in Winnipeg and back alley
street parties and things like that. All sorts of trouble. (Hughes, Speakers’)
After a pivotal, life-changing moment when she was 16, Clara transformed. She found
meaning and purpose in sport, and went from failing school to getting straight A’s. She
graduated from Elmwood High School in 1990.
10The Moment Everything Changed
It is not normal nor often that a person can point to the exact moment that his or her life
changed forever. But for Clara Hughes, that is precisely what happened. In the midst of the
partying, smoking, drinking, and drugs, Clara had an epiphany.
I was 16 years old, getting into all that trouble that I just talked about, sitting in my
mom’s living room in Winnipeg, flipping through the channels, planning what party I
was going to go to that night with my friends and what kind of trouble we were going to
get into. And… the tv came upon this movement, this motion, these athletes gliding on
ice. I had been a hockey player, but I had never seen long-track speed skating. And
when I saw it that day I stopped flipping through those channels and I watched and I
learned and I listened to not just the stories of the athletes and that beautiful movement I
was watching and so captivated by. But I learned about a great man, a man who was a
defending Olympic champion. This guy from Quebec who skated circles for Canada, and
his name was Gaetan Boucher. I learned about the Olympic movement and how almost
100 years ago, … countries had this idea of the modern Olympics – countries laying
down their arms and fighting it out on the equal battlefields of sport and play. And I just
thought, “This Olympic thing is awesome!” I’d grown up doing community sports so
being from inner-city Winnipeg, the Olympics were not on my radar. But the more I
learned and the more I watched when Gaetan finally got to the line I learned that he
wasn’t actually at his best and he had no chance to win. But what Gaetan did that day is
the moment he got to the starting line with the maple leaf on his back he became larger
than life. I saw this fire and determination in his eyes that I had never seen before from
anybody. I sat at the edge of my seat and watched him start his race and go at a world
record pace and then blow up spectacularly, barely finishing in the top 10. I watched
Gaetan fail miserably as the announcers and commentators said, but I watched a man
who gave himself to something, and that desire and that commitment and that want I saw
in him is what changed my life. I saw Gaetan do that and I knew I wanted the same for
me. I knew I wanted one day to skate for Canada. I not only knew I was going to do it
but I knew I had to do it. And that day my life changed. (Hughes, Speakers’)
Clara told her mom she wanted to be a skater, and she immediately signed her up for lessons.
I was 16. This looked so cool, gliding around the ice and going really fast. Somehow I
knew right away that I wanted to do that. My mother called the local club in Winnipeg
and within a couple of days I started turning my life around. (“Healthy Choices: Gold”)
By the time she was 18, Clara was a professional athlete and she thought her life course was
set. Little did she know just how much that moment of watching the Olympics would have such
a profound effect on her, and on all of Canada.
11Clara and Sport
Most people that know me outside of sport, particularly people I train with or work with
in sport, most people think, “Clara’s so nice. She’s always smiling and she’s so sweet.”
Some people even ask my husband, “Wow, Clara’s not really that competitive. How is
she an athlete?” And he always laughs and he’s like “C’mon, you don’t know my wife!”
I am a fierce competitor and when it’s game on…it’s game on! I love a challenge. I love
to try to win something. I love to be out and just die trying. If I’m going to fail I’m
going to die trying. And I’m never one to shy away from a challenge either. (Hughes,
“Interview with Clara Hughes” Walter)
Clara began serious training on the ice immediately after she saw Gaetan Boucher skate at the
’88 Olympics. And it didn’t take her long to start competing. In 1989, she was a silver medalist
in the speed skating National Championships. During the skating off-season Clara decided that
cycling might help her keep in better shape and began that sport as well. It wasn't long before
she was recognized for her cycling talent and she switched from skating to cycling as her major
endeavour (“Clara Hughes Biography”). In 1990 Clara won 8 medals cycling in the Western
Canada Games and National Championships – 7 gold and 1 silver. Over the next 5 years her
meteoric rise in the competitive cycling world continued, with medal placing in the Pan
American Games, World Championships, Commonwealth Games, and Tour de France.
I always keep my senses open to what’s going on around me. When I was speed skating,
I had this awareness that this beautiful movement was happening through me, a sense of
wonder, almost. On the bike, it’s definitely an attachment to nature. … There’s so many
places where I’ll pre-ride ride a time-trial course and I’ll see there are lilacs in bloom on
that hill. And when I’m racing, I’ll be, “There are those lilacs!” It passes through my
consciousness, it’s a connection to the landscape. (Gordon)
At her first Olympics in 1996, Clara wasn’t expected to medal, but her stubborn tenacity won
her two bronze medals in cycling. After the Olympics, though, Clara struggled with depression
for the next several years, and she had to let go of most of her competition opportunities. Despite
her struggles, however, she was still the overall winner at the Tour of Texas (1997) and the Sea
Otter Classic (1998).
12Rising from the ashes of her depression was difficult for Clara, and there was more hardship
to come. Illness and injury plagued Clara for the next few years, limiting her ability to compete
as a cyclist. But she was committed to her training and her belief that there was more in her to
do.
After cycling almost exclusively for a decade, Clara returned to the ice in 2002, winning a
bronze medal in the 2002 Winter Olympics. For the next two years Clara competed in both
cycling and skating before switching back to her first love of skating in 2004. That renewed
focus led to her fourth and fifth Olympic medals, this time silver and gold, at the Torino Games.
My life really hasn’t changed that much since winning the Olympics in 2006. I feel like
I’m a person that lives in the moment and lives for the day that I’m living. I feel that
every day is new and I don’t really think about the past, I don’t think about what I’ve
done as an athlete or what I’ve done in my life. I just try to be a better person and to live
with joy and to follow my bliss in my life every day. (Hughes, “Clara Hughes –
Summer”)
After her spectacular showing at the 2006 Olympics, Clara continued to develop her skating,
winning silver in the 2008 and 2009 World Championships before her final return to Olympic ice
in 2010, where she hung on for a 3rd place finish. Clara often calls her bronze medal in
Vancouver her “favourite of them all” (“Clara Hughes Olympic”).
That final medal in 2010, followed by her advocacy for several national and international
support groups like Right To Play and Bell’s Let’s Talk campaign established Clara as a
household name in Canada. After the Olympics, she spent a great deal of time travelling for
public speaking engagements around the world. The end of the winter Olympics in Vancouver
was also the end of Clara’s competitive speed skating career. After 2010 she hung up her skates
and went back to cycling. In 2011 she medaled in 7 different international events, winning 4.
I've been thinking about it [returning to cycling] for a long time, because there are lots of
considerations. It means nothing less than committing your life to sport. I can't compare
myself to ten years ago, I've matured so much since then. But I knew that I would have to
13make major changes to my life.
After Vancouver it was pretty chaotic; for three months I didn't see my husband! I was
pulled in so many directions, with the media and my charity work. So, I have put all that
on the shelf, because I have to live a certain lifestyle [to be an athlete], it's mostly an
emotional commitment and I have to focus my energy. It takes a lot of discipline to say
no.
…But I look at it as ... “Wow, I have a chance to apply myself to this; what a gift!”
(Hughes, “Interview: Clara”)
Her final Olympics was the summer of 2012, where she hoped to win her seventh medal.
Many were questioning if she would make it to the Olympics at all, since she had been in a
terrible crash just two months before the competition, fracturing one of her vertebrae. But with
the attitude of “never give up” Clara trained despite her broken back and made it to London to
represent Canada one last time (Sager). Although she was at or near the front of the pack for the
majority of the road race through London, she wasn’t able to place in the top spots and in the end
finished 32nd. But, with her positive life view firmly in place her response to her last Olympic
race was, “It was epic. It was awesome!” (Davidson).
While Clara no longer competes, athletics is still a very important part of her life and she’s
not taking it easy. From March 14th to July 1st, Clara cycled on Clara’s Big Ride, an epic 110-
day, 12,000km ride around Canada to promote a conversation and reduce the stigma surrounding
mental health.
Now that Clara’s Big Ride is completed, Clara is planning to take a break. But don’t expect
her to fade quietly from the athletic arena. With Clara, there’s always more.
14Hitting the Wall of Depression
One of the early highlights of Clara’s athletic career was her double bronze medal success at
the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. After obsessively training for so many years, the “high” of
winning and being on the world stage was a heady experience for the 24 year old.
…I truly experienced magic in Atlanta. I went to my first Olympics and won two bronze
medals. I felt like I had an entire nation inside of me and it gave me strength and it gave
me motivation and inspiration that I never felt. Everyone was saying, “I saw you on the
podium! It was such a beautiful moment. Thank you for sharing that with me, with us.”
(Darkness)
That euphoria didn’t last, however.
I went from that to my off-season of just sitting at home and wondering, “Ok, well I’m
still the same person but I can’t get off the couch. What is wrong with me?” I just felt
like there was something wrong with me, that I just felt like…nothing. I felt that
everything I had done, everything I had felt the year before at the Olympics, I felt like I
wasn’t that person. (Darkness)
I will never forget those times when I woke up crying, knowing something was wrong,
going to sleep the same way and dreading getting up the next day. (Let’s Talk)
Despite all her efforts to get back to her training regimen, Clara found herself stuck in a dark
and lonely place.
The depression I fell into, it didn’t happen overnight. I just isolated myself. I felt
ashamed of how I looked, who I was. And it was easier not to be around people. I was
really afraid and really alone. (Darkness)
It just felt like a despair that was inescapable. I could not get away from myself. I was
me, dealing with these emotions of helplessness, and feeling like nothing I could do was
right, and everything I did was wrong, and I was never going to feel better, and it was
only going to get worse and worse, and I didn’t know where it was going to go. It was
terrifying. (Hughes, “Full”)
It was a time of great confusion and despair and something that happened over a period
of months, that darkness that I slipped down into. I didn’t know what was wrong with
me, I didn’t know how I could get better, I didn’t feel I could talk to anybody it and I
spent a lot of time alone thinking I needed to fix myself. All of I could think of was that I
was weak and that there was something wrong with me because I just couldn’t feel better.
And I felt like it was my responsibility to make myself better. As an athlete I was used to
15being in control of everything, and being able to output what I needed to output, what
was on my training program to “follow the program, follow the plan” and never stray
from it. And then I found myself unable to get out of my own way – I was sleeping all
the time and putting on weight. As an athlete, people say, “Oh come on, you’re a
machine,” and I put on 15, 18 pounds and I felt ashamed of how I looked and how I felt
and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. (Hughes, “Clara Hughes on”)
It [depression] is a situation of feeling despair and loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness,
and shame. That was my experience. (Let’s Talk)
For over a year, Clara struggled on her own to get back to her work and responsibilities, not
understanding what was happening to her.
…As an athlete I was unable to do my job. I raced for 7 weeks one year and 8 weeks the
next year and I spent the rest of the year in a state of darkness. I gained weight, I slept all
day, I felt like I was a complete and utter failure. (Hughes, “Full”)
And I honestly just felt I had to fix myself and there was something wrong with me and I
needed to make myself better before I showed myself again. That was my approach, and
it was kind of like my approach to sport training – I just wanted to be better and not show
any weakness. I was determined that it was me who was responsible for that and me
alone. (Hughes, “Bell”)
Looking back on her experience, Clara reflects on what led to her depressive crash.
Before it [the depression] really started I spent 6 years training at the highest level and
pushing myself and being pushed - probably too much as a young athlete – and those are
all things that led to this. Also, my upbringing – I come from a very dysfunctional
family. My parents did the best they could but there was a lot of aftermath with having
grown up in that environment. There’s things I still struggle with, coming to terms with,
and it’s a very real experience. (Hughes, “Clara Hughes on”)
It was over two years of loneliness, darkness, and despair before Clara discovered she had a
mental illness and found help for her depression.
16Getting Help
I don’t know if anyone knows why they end up depressed. For me, some of it had to do
with severe over-training as a young athlete. I was run into the ground and then I ran
myself into the ground more and more. I came back from my first Olympics with two
bronze medals thinking everything was going to be ok and it was going to be worth it
because I won something. But as the weeks and months went by after that I didn’t want
to look at those medals because they really made me miserable because everything I did
to get them just didn’t feel very meaningful. (Kennedy, “Clara’s”)
Clara continued to try and meet the demands of her training, but was falling behind.
I was at a training camp and crying all the time. I had also put on a lot of weight and was
just miserable.
My friends had tried to be there for me, but they didn't know what was going on either. I
wouldn't tell anyone. I thought it was up to me to make myself better.
As an athlete, you're trained to just suck it up. I've fallen and crashed on my head and
split my face open, and was still able to get back on my bike to finish a race. With the
depression I thought, “Okay, I just have to pull myself together and keep moving
forward.” But this was unlike anything physical I'd ever experienced.
I kept pushing myself to move forward, but I was so weighted down with the depression
that there was no forward momentum to be had. I just made it worse. (Hughes, “Clara
Hughes at”)
Yet as much as she tried to hide her difficulties, someone noticed.
That was when a doctor actually talked to me about what she was seeing in me and
seeing in this young athlete in front of her. She just basically confronted me and said,
“This is all the indications of depression.” And she said it quite clinically and matter-of-
factly. (Hughes, “Clara Hughes on”)
She said, “…You don’t need to feel like you’re alone. There are ways to get better.”
(Hughes, “Full”)
…I was shocked! I was like, “What are you talking about? No, that’s not me.” Inside I
thought, “I’m not depressed!” And then she went through all the things, “There’s
medication, there’s counselling, there’s all these different areas we can look at.” I was
almost insulted, I would say. (Hughes, “Clara Hughes on”)
But we’re also taught to talk about how we feel every second of every day – “How are
you doing? How do you feel? Are you recovering? Are you tired? Are you this, are
you that?” – so because I was in that environment it was open and the doctor felt
comfortable talking to me and approaching me with it. (Hughes, “Full”)
17I walked away from that thinking, and it took me a number of months to take the steps I
needed to get the help. (Hughes, “Clara Hughes on”)
That was the first step, realizing that ok, I really do have something here. But secondly,
the most important thing I realized was I didn’t have to go through it alone. (Hughes,
“Full”)
With the support of her doctors, therapists, and teammates Clara began to treat her depression.
As an athlete I had access to care, to support, to treatment, to a collective “we’re going to
get you through this.” When I actually started getting help it wasn’t like, “She’s
damaged goods.” It was like, “Ok, we’re going to support you through this.” I didn’t
lose my funding. The national cycling team was like, “Take as long as you need, we’ll
put you on an injury card.” That’s not the reality for most people. And so as much as
I’ve shared my story, I’m also very cautious in sharing it because it’s not like, “Just go
get help, it’s there for you,” because for a lot of people you get put on a waiting list.
(Kennedy, “Clara’s”)
Thanks to the support of her trainers and doctors, Clara was able to manage her depression
and return to sport with a new set of tools to deal with her illness. One of the main contributing
factors to her healing was what she called her “circle of strength” – a support network of family,
friends, doctors, therapists, psychologists, and the greater community of supporters and fans.
But even with all of her support, Clara is clear that, like most people with a mental health
disorder, there is no “quick fix” and her depression has not simply disappeared.
After London 2012, I figured it wouldn’t be so hard. A few months went by, we’d
decided this Ride would happen, I was busy – and the moment I stopped, when I had a
few weeks when I didn’t have to travel or do anything, I started feeling that weight again.
Feeling just heavy. I was walking on the road where we live, in the back country in Utah,
and felt disconnected with myself…. I was going back into that place. That’s when I
knew my depression wasn’t about the pressure of sport–it’s me. I’d thought I could do
this alone. No way. So I started working with a psychologist in early 2013. It really
helped. I went through a lot and was just crying, crying, crying in his office and getting a
lot of stuff out. He has helped me find peace with certain things and realize I’m not a
super-person, I can’t just change myself or the world, that there’s a lot of work I need to
do on myself with the help of a professional. (Munday, “Clara”)
To this day it is still a darkness that I know lingers and looms.… The most important
thing is learning how to recognize the signals of when maybe I could be falling into that
again, and making sure I talk to who I need to talk to when I feel things coming on.
(Hughes, “Clara Hughes on”)
18A Role Model for Canadians
Now retired as a professional athlete, Clara has channeled her intense concentration, drive,
and determination into helping others. Her philanthropic focus comes naturally as her parents
were active volunteers in Winnipeg when she was growing up. Her father was an artist and
patron of the arts and her mother was often busy giving her time to various sport events and other
organizations, and Clara attributes her “paying it forward” policy to their example (Milton). She
has also been inspired by her coaches and peers who have modeled this behaviour.
I think the most important fundamental thing is to lead by example. You can’t be
something other than the message that you’re giving. My speed skate coach, Wang Xiuli,
always led by example in that she looked at us after the off season if we had come back a
little chubby. She’d put herself to work and lose some weight and say, “See your coach
is thinner than you.” It’s important to lead by example and to show what you expect of
others. Actions speak louder than words. (Hughes, “Clara Hughes, Olympic”)
Actions may speak louder than words, but Clara also believes that “when a person has the
megaphone in her hand, she’d better use it” (“Clara Hughes Finishes”). To this end, Clara has
translated her star power garnered through her success in sport to promoting causes that hold
personal meaning. For Clara, those causes have included Take a Hike, Right To Play, and Bell
Let’s Talk.
You’d think that being famous would change Clara, but it hasn’t. While her goal is to
positively alter attitudes and beliefs on a national and global level, she’s still the small-town girl
from the prairies and what resonates most are the small things – talking with individuals and
hearing personal stories of trials and triumphs, or sharing a treat at a small-town Canadian bakery
and starting a conversation. While every situation and opportunity to speak out and help has
meaning for her, it is often her work in the smaller communities – especially up north – that
mean the most.
19…When I was up in the Torngat Mountain National Park with the Inuit People of the
Nunatsiavut region last summer I was volunteering with Parks Canada for an Inuit youth
summer program. There were many people up at the base camp. One such person was
Shelagh Rogers of CBC Radio. Shelagh has struggled deeply with depression and we
had a little evening presentation called “a happy talk about depression.” We had people
from all over the world there from elders and youth from Nunatsiavut, bear monitors, and
tourists, and we had this incredible discussion about depression. We shared how it had
affected our lives and those people shared their own experiences. It was a fantastic
meshing of the cultures and though our struggles were different, we all realized this is
something that affects everyone, and thus we are all in it together. All of this up in a
national park in the arctic! (Hughes, Personal)
Becoming an advocate for health and wellness has not changed Clara’s basic beliefs about
herself or her purpose. She has always been clear about her goal as a role model for Canadians.
I don't see myself as famous but more as a person trying to use all the forces and
intentions of people around me to mobilize and motivate everyone to be engaged and get
involved in this mental wellness movement. It's weird for me to be recognized because I
don't feel I stand out nor do I want to. It's more having red hair that makes me more
noticed I think. (Hughes, Personal)
20Spokesperson for Mental Health
Clara’s start as an advocate for mental health began in 2010. Bell Canada, already a sponsor
for her skating, heard about her background and her challenges overcoming depression and
approached Clara to see if she would like to be their spokesperson for a new campaign for
mental health.
When I learned of Bell’s campaign, and I learned about it after the Vancouver Olympics,
I went across the country – Bell was my sponsor – sharing what the Olympics were like.
Being an athlete, carrying the flag, winning an Olympic medal in Canada for Canada - I
guess as Canada - I learned about this initiative coming up. I shared my story with
George Cope and he said, “We really want you to be a part of this.” And I said, “I want
to be a part of this! I don’t care how or why or in what capacity, I just want to help.
Because this is important!”
…And my role is so small. It’s like I have this tiny story to tell but I feel like maybe it’s
the first little baby step so people can feel like if someone who’s been so successful as an
athlete as I’ve been – and I do share the joy when I have it, I love to share the joy and the
rapture, and I shared my joy and my struggle - and I can show people I’m human, and
it’s ok to be human. (Hughes, “Full”)
At first, Clara’s role in the campaign was concentrated in January of each year, during the
lead up to Bell’s Let’s Talk Day. Since 2011, each year Bell Canada chooses a day in late
January or early February for their fundraising/awareness campaign in support of mental health
initiatives across Canada. On that day, Bell donates 5 cents for every text, tweet, or long
distance phone call made. In its first year, the campaign raised $3.3 million, and it has grown by
about 20% each year, involving politicians, athletes and sport teams, actors, musicians,
astronauts, and celebrities. Over the years the fame and participation of the day has spread
beyond Canada into the United States, Europe and Asia. In 2014 Let’s Talk Day raised nearly
$5.5 million. Clara has commented she’s overwhelmed by the growing support of Let’s Talk
Day.
Thank you Canada! By talking so openly about mental illness and its impact, you're
letting family, friends, neighbours and colleagues who struggle with mental illness know
21they can talk about it and seek the help they may need. I've heard encouraging stories of
hope and opportunity from so many people throughout the Bell Let's Talk Day campaign.
Together, we've taken the conversation about mental health to a new level - it's a
conversation that's not just changing lives, it's saving lives! (“Canadians”)
Since Clara’s start on Bell’s campaign she has seen a difference in how Canadians view
mental health.
I have basically seen more people comfortable talking about mental illness in the media,
more stories and critical assessments of the system and how it can be improved, and
countless people have shared with me, personally, their stories. Not just the effect of
mental illness on themselves or a loved one/friend/coworker; but also what they are doing
to have a positive effect in this area. It's been incredible to hear how people are
becoming mobilized. (Hughes, Personal)
Clara has often said that being a spokesperson for mental health is more important to her than
being an Olympian.
…Because it hits home. I had my own struggles with depression, my father was an
alcoholic and undiagnosed bipolar, my sister has struggled dearly with bipolar disorder
for 24 years. It runs in the family and I've seen the struggle with navigating the mental
health system in terms of care and access to care first hand. I've also seen over worked
under resourced workers in the field who need more support. Because I have the
platform of having succeeded at sport, I feel so strongly to use it to help this situation and
try to normalize the conversation of mental health. Breaking down the stigma attached is
what I can help with most and I am one of many working to eliminate the stigma.
(Hughes, Personal)
Now, Clara’s involvement in the drive to end the stigma surrounding mental health is a year-
round job. Not content to play only a supportive role for Let’s Talk, Clara initiated Clara’s Big
Ride for mental health in 2013.
22Clara’s Big Ride
Clara can’t seem to do anything halfway. After her retirement from competitive sport in
2012, when most people would plan to put up their feet for a time, Clara was looking for her next
project.
I was on a hike after the London Olympics with my husband, Peter. We were in
California hiking a chunk of the Pacific Crest Trail and we had our backpacks. It was a
time of transition for me. It was the first autumn I was stepping into with no spring of
training up ahead. So as I moved through that hike, and all these emotions every day I
just started connecting back with my body and with my spirit, and how important
movement was to me. And I just felt like, “God, I wish I could share this feeling with
people.” (Kennedy, “Clara’s”)
By the end of the hike, Clara had decided to put together an awareness-raising event for
mental health – a bike ride around all of Canada. And so, with the help of Bell’s Let’s Talk
team, Clara’s Big Ride was born. Clara calls it the “ride of her life” (Munday, “Clara”).
This is actually the most important work I will do in my life. I am so grateful to have the
chance to give the voice to Canadians from coast to coast to coast to shout it out loud and
clear that this is an issue that affects every single one of us. (“Clara Hughes Big”)
Clara’s expectation for the ride was straightforward – get as many Canadians as possible
talking about mental health and erasing the stigma attached to the subject.
It’s really all about connecting with communities all across Canada. Not only are we
riding 12,000 kilometres across Canada, we have 230 community events along the way,
including all across the north of Canada. We’re even riding the Dempster Highway from
Inuvik to Dawson City. I think a conversation with mental health is going in every
direction, it’s coming front and centre with no exception. In Sochi when I did my work
for CBC we had a whole segment on prime time about mental health and athletes and the
conversation is getting louder and louder. I think this ride is going to make a huge roar
that brings Canadians together, not just in joy but in struggle. And that’s the reality. So
many people are connected and affected by mental health. It’s time that we stopped
pretending that mental illness does not exist. (“Clara Hughes is”)
Calling this trek a ‘big’ ride is exactly right, because the numbers are staggering. On this
journey, Clara:
23 travelled through every province and territory.
biked over 12,000 kilometres. (by the way, that’s 110kms/day)
visited 95 different communities, giving a key-note speech almost every night.
talked to students at 90 schools.
spoke at 235 events.
Before beginning, she reflected on her worries about the task ahead.
I’m terrified. In some ways it is bigger than anything I’ve ever done. I think every day is
going to be exhausting but at the same time I have tens of thousands of kilometres in my
legs on the bike over the years and that’s an endurance base I can draw upon for many
things in my life including this ride. (Kennedy, “Hard”)
During this epic ride Clara had to deal with different challenges. Injury, illness, and
mechanical difficulties were always a possibility but there were plans and backup plans to deal
with any imaginable situation. Clara also had a team of support workers with her, starting with
her husband, Peter Guzman, who biked the entire journey right alongside her. There were also
drivers, a mechanic, a physical therapist, and a nutritionist. But the “elephant in the room” that
everyone was worried about was the weather (Kennedy, “Clara’s”). And Canada dished out
everything it could. During her ride Clara dealt with snow, sleet, blizzards, ice, rain, fog, strong
winds, heat, and humidity.
Yet as difficult as the physical challenges were, the emotional ones were even tougher.
I thought it was going to be hard, but I really underestimated the emotional side of it. I
had to, in the latter part of the ride, I had to work a lot with my psychologist in Calgary.
…I just realized, in one of the communities, “I can’t deliver any more.” This is not good
for the crowd that is here, either for inspiration or answers or just education. (Blatchford)
But despite her exhaustion, Clara kept up her speaking engagements, always giving as much
as she had and making sure she connected with the people around her.
An elated, exhausted Clara finally reached Parliament Hill on Canada Day and told the
waiting crowds:
Happy Canada Day and thank you everyone for your incredible support! My journey
around this great country has shown me that Canadians everywhere are ready to talk
24about mental health and eager to make a difference. So many wonderful, open and
welcoming people, from Canada's big cities to the small settlements of the North,
communities in every province and territory - all sharing the dream of a stigma-free
Canada, a place where those who struggle aren't afraid to ask for help. We all know
someone impacted, whether in our families, our workplaces or our neighbourhoods. The
Big Ride has shown me that talking openly about mental illness, learning that we are all
affected in some way, just destroys the stigma. It's the first step in moving mental health
forward. Now, let's keep talking Canada, and achieve the world's first nation free of the
stigma around mental illness! (“Clara's Big Ride for Bell Let's Talk arrives”)
Even after completing such an extraordinary campaign, Clara is humble.
…It is not about me. This is about so many Canadians who have, in turn, shared their
story with me or shared it with others or opened up to their families or gotten the help
they needed. Or people who have seen family members or friends, co-workers, team
mates struggling – they’ve been able to reach out now and help them get help. I feel that
it’s just starting to shift in terms of stigma, in terms of people feeling like they want to
keep this conversation going too. But we have so much work to do. (Hughes, “Bell”)
I hope people remember a time when someone did something - some ride - and she had
red hair or something…but that thing was kind of the start that made the big difference in
Canada…but I can’t even remember her name.
I’ve had those opportunities to be famous. I’ve been very privileged. I’ve competed in
two sports, 6 Olympics, and that’s not normal. My fear is this Ride being about me. I
don’t want it to be about me, there’s been enough of me. I just want to be the vehicle, the
platform that people use to have their voice heard. (Kennedy, “Clara’s”)
25General Spokesperson Roles
While Clara’s spotlight right now is on her Let’s Talk campaign about lifting the stigma
around mental health in Canada, she has also been - and still is - active with several other support
organizations.
Right To Play
Since 1996, Clara Hughes has been an Athlete Ambassador for the international organization
Right To Play (RTP). This international humanitarian organization uses games, sport, and play
programs:
to improve health, develop life skills, and foster peace for children and communities in
some of the most disadvantaged areas of the world. Working in both the humanitarian
and development context, Right To Play builds local capacity by training community
leaders as Coaches to deliver its programs in 20 countries affected by war, poverty, and
disease in Africa, Asia, the Middle East and South America. (“Right”)
After winning gold in 2006, Clara donated $10,000 to Right to Play. For Clara, RTP was an
opportunity to give back some of her success and joy after participating in the Summer
Olympics.
I wanted to give back. I wanted more children of the world to know, quite simply, what it
is like to be a kid and the joy I get as an athlete. (“Healthy Choices: Silver”)
I won an Olympic gold medal that year but I really feel I became a champion because I
had connected, contributed and committed to these phenomenal programs that are
shifting the minds, hearts and lives of hundreds of thousands of children. So it didn’t
take a second thought to continue giving time, energy and money to Right To Play. It
gave me balance and meaning in what I was doing and in many ways helped me continue
competing until I was a hair shy of 40 years old. (“Clara Hughes: Right”)
And for Clara, being a part of RTP means getting back just as much as she gives.
The morning of my race I watched a documentary on the group Right to Play and their
work in Uganda. The children lived with war, poverty and violence, yet they were so
happy when they were engaged in sport and play. I thought if these kids can do this, so
can I during my Olympic race that same evening. I had written “joy” on my hand with a
26pen to remind me of those shining eyes from Uganda that I saw on my TV. I looked at
this temporary tattoo as a reminder of what I was capable of. (“Healthy Choices: Silver”)
Clara has been a member of the international board for Right To Play since 2012.
Take A Hike
After her bronze medal win at the 2010 Olympics, Clara donated her $10,000 medal bonus to
the Vancouver inner city school program, Take A Hike(TAH), and became a TAH Ambassador.
The TAH website describes their program as:
…an alternative education program that engages at-risk youth through a unique
combination of adventure-based learning, academics, counseling, and community
involvement. …The Take a Hike program provides at-risk youth with the opportunity to
make positive change in their lives through outdoor experiential learning, working with
therapists to overcome their personal issues, building confidence and improving
academic abilities. (Take, About Us)
Like the other programs she’s involved in, Clara feels a personal connection to the people
being helped by this program.
I was one of those students that didn't care about anything and I was involved with a lot
of drinking at a young age and drugs and smoking a pack a day. That was me. And this is
me now. There is a way out. It's different for every person. Sport is not the (only) answer,
but I think goals and dreams and a sense of self-worth is the answer. I really believe Take
A Hike parallels what sport has done for me. It took me out of a really bad direction and
path in life and this program is something that works. I think this is going to shift the
direction of some lives, just like sport did for me. (“Clara Hughes’ Bronze”)
Clara is also a supporter of the Axel Merckx Youth Development Foundation (AMYDF) and
the Nunavik Youth Hockey Development Program (NYHDP).
27Honours
Over the past 10 years Clara has been awarded numerous honours in recognition of her
achievements on and off the podium. In 2004, Speed Skating Canada called her their female
athlete of the year, and in 2006 she was named a Member of the Order of Manitoba and granted
the prestigious Sport and Community Award by the International Olympic Committee. At the
Vancouver Olympics in 2010 Clara was Canada’s flag-bearer, and once the Olympics were done
she was given a star on Canada’s Walk Of Fame, was inducted into Canada’s Sports Hall of
Fame, and the highest Canadian honour, becoming an Officer of the Order of Canada, was
bestowed upon her. After the medal ceremony, Clara commented:
Speed skating and cycling are difficult sports. But I guess more than anything I'm most
proud of what I've done with the voice when I've had it and when I've had the stage to be
able to reach out. (Spencer)
In the past two years, Clara has also be called Yahoo!’s “best ambassador for Canada”, had
her name added to the Wall of Champions at the Olympic Skating Oval in Calgary, been a
Loyola Medal recipient, and – most recently – received the Meritorious Service Cross in
recognition of her Big Ride.
Clara has also been granted 4 honourary doctorate degrees from universities in Manitoba,
British Columbia, New Brunswick, and Ontario.
I always have to remind myself that I'm human and that the potential of the human being
is that there's a magic that can happen within that, ... That's where it can bring you
beyond what your body might be able to do. I'm so excited just to go there and just let it
unfold. (“Clara Hughes”, ThinkExist)
Finally, named for Clara in honour of her achievements are:
the “Clara Hughes Public School” in Oshawa, Ontario.
the “Clara Hughes Recreation Park” in her hometown of Winnipeg, Manitoba.
a hill in Hamilton, Ontario – now called “Clara’s Climb” – where she trained for many
years.
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