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Citizens Helping Citizens in Crisis 503.940.7997 24 Hour Number Citizen Resource Guide 4800 NE 122nd Avenue 2020 - 2021 Portland, OR 97230 Volume 14 Office 503.823.3937 www.tipnw.org
IMPORTANT INFORMATION 24-Hour Number 503.940.7997 Key in your return phone number or leave a voice message for an immediate call back. TIP Volunteer(s)_________________________________________________________________ Agencies Involved ______________________________________________________________ Important Phone Numbers _________________________ ___________________________ _________________________ ___________________________ _________________________ ___________________________ _________________________ ___________________________ Notes _________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ You Matter to Us What is TIP? We’d like to hear from you. Trauma Intervention Program (TIP) is a group of specially trained and thoroughly-screened citizen volunteers who provide emotional Please visit us online to give and practical support to survivors of traumatic events and their feedback, ask questions families in the first few hours following a tragedy. TIP Volunteers or get more resources. are called through the emergency response system — by police, firefighters and hospital personnel. www.tipnw.org TIP is a national non-profit, tax-exempt organization. Services are provided to survivors and their families free of charge and are made possible by donations from local government, businesses TIP Northwest and individuals. Trauma Intervention Program NW was founded in 1992. 180 local TIPNW volunteers are available to respond immediately to crisis situations on a 24-hour, 365 days-a-year basis. TIPNW 2 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
TABLE OF CONTENTS: RESOURCES AND ARTICLES What is TIP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Understanding & Coping with Grief . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Contact TIP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Developmental Stages of Traumatized Children . . 18 Crisis Lines . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Talking with Traumatized Children . . . . . . . . . . . . 19 Dougy Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Checklist Following a Death . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Community Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 – 8 Dealing with Tragedy in Workplace Checklist . . . . 21 Dealing with Media . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Medication Disposal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Common Signs and Signals of Stress . . . . . . . . . 9 ABC’s of Disposition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 Things to Try After a Death . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Things to Consider . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 Children & Trauma Suggestions for Parents . . . 11 Required Information for Death Certificate . . . 25 – 26 Effective Ways of Coping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11–12 General Information in Oregon & Washington . . . 27 10 Things to Do and Not Do . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Listing of Funeral Homes in Multnomah, Coping with Suicide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Clackamas and Clark Counties . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 – 30 Clichés - What Not to Say . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Memorial Contributions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 The biggest funeral regret Mom’s funeral was A new way to arrange a funeral Great-Goodbyes.com was formed to inspire and generic and ordinary, not at encourage the creation of wonderful funerals. To equip all a true reflection of her life. people with the knowledge and skills to plan unique We all felt empty afterwards. farewells for the people they love. Great Goodbyes is a portal It’s hard enough losing someone you love. It’s worse when • To find the right funeral home the way you say goodbye is ordinary. Generic. Templated. • To connect you with a wide range of creative suppliers • To enable you to quickly compare prices and offerings That’s not how you wanted it to go, but there seemed so in private and without any pressure few options for creative expression and personal touches. • To understand the full range of creative options that are So in the end, the whole thing followed a formula, and legally available to you (the venue possibilities alone will looked like every other funeral farewell that had used the surprise you). same template. But your mom wasn’t a template. Don’t let your goodbye be ordinary We get one chance to say goodbye to the ones we love. Nor was your son. Or husband. Friend. Wife. Mate. Great-goodbyes.com Uncle...They were one-of-a-kind people and should have will help you make your been farewelled in a way that reflected that truth. It should farewell extraordinary. have been different then. It can be different now. Go to great-goodbyes.com (Trauma Intervention Program NW cannot recommend nor endorse any business. Without their advertising support, this Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.) Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 3
CRISIS L!NES 24/7 SUPPORT/HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT CLACKAMAS COUNTY WASHINGTON COUNTY 503-655-8585 503-291-9111 24-7 crisis and support line 24/7 help for people experiencing a mental health crisis. https://www.clackamas.us/behavioralhealth Interpreters provided https://www.co.washington.or.us/HHS/MentalHealth/index.cfm CLARK COUNTY 800-626-8137 MILITARY CRISIS LINE Behavioral health crisis services are available 24/7 888-457-4838 https://www.clark.wa.gov/community-services/ Press 1, or access online chat by texting 838255. clark-county-crisis-services https://www.militaryonesource.mil/health-wellness/ mental-health/suicide MULTNOMAH COUNTY 503-988-4888 LINES FOR LIFE 24/7 crisis counseling by phone, with translation Call 800-273-8255 services for non-English speakers. 24/7 365 days a year https://multco.us/mhas/mental-health-services https://www.linesforlife.org/ SKAMANIA COUNTY Mental Health and Public Health / 24 Hour Crisis Line If you do not know which county you are in, 509-427-3850 http://www.skamaniacounty.org/ please call any crisis line number community-health/homepage/mental-health/ and they will assist you. The right place when In our community, 1 in 17 children nothing feels right. will have a parent or sibling die before they turn 18. Dougy Center serves these children, teens, young adults, and their adult family members through peer grief support groups in the Portland Metro area, including through virtual groups during the pandemic. Dougy Center also provides resources and training world-wide to schools, organizations, and individuals seeking to assist children in grief. Dougy Center’s services are completely free for families. We we rely on the generousity of individuals, businesses, and foundations to support our programs. Dougy Center | 503.775.5683 | dougy.org | help@dougy.org (Trauma Intervention Program NW cannot recommend nor endorse any business. Without their advertising support, this Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.) 4 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
COMMUNITY SERVICES ADOLESCENTS Dougy Center for Narcotics Anonymous ..................503-345-9839 Grieving Children ...........................503-775-5683 na.org Toll-free ..............................................866-775-5683 Angels In The Outfield ..................503-313-8122 Bereavement support and counseling for children Helping 18 and younger impacted by crime or abuse Lifeline Connections for Clark County ..............................360-397-8246 dougy.org www.theangelsintheoutfield.org lifelineconnections.org First Candle Grief Children’s Home Society Support Line.....................................800-221-7437 of Washington/Vancouver Lines for Life - Alcohol and Drug Help .................800-273-8255 Support group for parents who have lost a child to SIDS Family Resource Center ................360-695-1325 firstcandle.org or text “273TALK” to 839863 www.childrenshomesociety.org/home linesforlife.org Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep .....877-834-5667 Clackamas County and ..................................................720-283-3339 Juvenile Department ....................503-655-8342 National Helpline............. 800-662-HELP (4357) Remembrance Photography www.clackamas.us/juvenile nowilaymedowntosleep.org Clark County ANIMAL ASSISTANCE Parents of Murdered Children ...503-656-8039 Juvenile Department ....................360-397-2201 Bereavement support and counseling for children www.clark.wa.gov/juvenile-court/juvenile-court- Animal Aid ........................................503-292-6628 pomc.org contact-information animalaidpdx.org Bonnie L. Hays Animal Shelter ...503-846-7041 Precious Moments .........................360-696-5120 Harry’s Mother ... 503-233-8111/800-914-9706 co.washington.or.us/HHS/AnimalServices/ Miscarriage, stillborn and newborn death Shelter for 9-17 year olds and Crisis Intervention peacehealth.org/sites/default/files/Documents/.............. janusyouth.org Clackamas County Bereavement-Brochure.pdf Animal Control ................................503-655-8628 Homeless Youth Services .............503-233-6090 clackamas.us/dogs/ Sesame Street Bereavement janusyouth.org/programs/homeless-youth www.sesamestreet.org/grief Critter Gitter .....................................503-253-5584 Insights Teen Parent Program ....503-239-6996 Stepping Stones/Hope insightstpp.org/programs Dignified Pet Services/Tigard.....503-885-2211 Bereavement Services ..................360-696-5120 Milwaukie ..........................................503-783-6115 Support and counseling Lines for Life .....................................877-968-8491 dignifiedpetservices.com peacehealth.org/southwest/services/hospice/ ................. Multnomah County Juvenile Dove Lewis Emergency bereavement-services/ Services Division .............................503-988-3460 Animal Hospital...............................503-228-7281 multco.us/dcj-juvenile Survivors of Suicide Support dovelewis.org Group Portland................................503-200-0382 National Runaway Safeline .........800-786-2929 House Of Dreams - www.sbsnw.org 1800runaway.org No Kill Cat Shelter ...........................503-262-0763 Victims of Violent Crime kittydreams.org and their Families & Friends ......855-484-2846 Porch Light Street Light Youth Services ......................503-432-3986 Meowhaus Cat Boarding victimsupportservices.org SMYRC - Sexual & Gender Minority and Assistance ............................... 503-281-0222 meowhaus.biz BOARD UP/RESTORATION Youth Resource Center .................503-872-9664 pdxqcenter.org and www.smyrc.org Multnomah County Trevor Project - Animal Services ...............................503-988-7387 1-800-Board-Up ..............................800-262-7387 multcopets.org 1-800boardup.com Teen Suicide Prevention ..............866-488-7386 thetrevorproject.org Oregon Humane Society .............503-285-7722 BELFOR ...............................................503-408-8880 oregonhumane.org 24/7 Emergency Number .......800-856-3333 Youthera - belfor.com Clackamas County Drop ..............971-334-9295 Dove Lewis (24-hours/ www.youthera.org Pet Loss Groups) .............................503-234-2061 Cornerstone Disaster Repair .........503-295-0108 cornerstonerepair.com dovelewis.org Youthline (Lines for Life) ..............877-968-8491 or text “teen2teen” to 839863 Second Chance Companions .....360-687-4569 F.I.R.E - Fire Industry Call for information. Online chat is available at ................ sccpets.com Restoration Experts .......................503-305-7285 OregonYouthline.org firexperts.net SW Wash. Humane Society .........360-693-4746 southwesthumane.org ServPro of Clark County ................360-254-0049 ALCOHOL/DRUGS servproevancouverclarkco.com BEREAVEMENT ServPro of Gresham, Al-anon Information Oregon City and Sandy .................503-665-7752 (Portland)...........................................503-292-1333 servprogresham.com Al-anon Information Many bereavement groups can be found (Vancouver) ......................................360-693-5781 at local churches and hospitals. Community Home Health BODY & ANATOMICAL DONATION Al-anon/Al-ateen Information Service .......................888-425-2666 and Hospice......................................360-253-4626 al-anonportlandoregon.org Grief Support Services ..................360-703-0300 Educational Body Donation........503-404-4114 chhh.org educationalbodydonation.org Alcohol and Drug Hotline ...........503-244-1312 Toll Free .........................................800-923-4357 Brief Encounters OHSU Body Message Phone ..........................503-699-8006 Donation Program .........................503-494-8302 Alcoholics Anonymous Miscarriage, stillborn and newborn death ohsu.edu/body-donation Portland ........................................503-223-8569 briefencounters.org Vancouver ....................................360-694-3870 Medcure - Body Donation aa.org Compassionate Friends ................877-969-0010 for Medical Research .....................866-560-2525 and ..................................................503-307-8450 medcure.org Cocaine Anonymous .....................503-256-1666 For parents who have lost a child of any age, caorwa.org for any reason Science Care - compassionatefriends.org Whole Body Donation ..................800-417-3747 Families Anonymous .....................800-736-9805 sciencecare.com familiesanonymous.org Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 5
COMMUNITY SERVICES Neighborhood House ...................503-246-1663 Lifeline Connections CHILDREN/YOUTH RESOURCES County youth and family service center, serves all of ..... Wellness Center...............................360-205-1222 West Multnomah County lifelineconnections.org CARES NW .........................................503-276-9000 nhpdx.org Multidisciplinary prevention, medical evaluation, Multnomah County Crisis Line ..503-988-4888 and ongoing treatment of child abuse and neglect Northwest Family Services ..........503-546-6377 Programs for youth, counseling, couples classes, National Alliance on caresnw.org parenting, money management, job readiness/placement Mental Illness (NAMI) ....................800-950-6264 Child Abuse Hotline.......................800-422-4453 nwfs.org Oregon Child Abuse Hotline ......855-503-7233 childhelp.org Peer and Family Support Services Project Respond..............................503-988-4888 Child Protective (Clackamas County) .......................503-655-8585 Services - Oregon ...........................503-731-3100 clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/support.html Rainier Springs Mental Health Services ................................360-869-0144 Child Protective Street Roots rainiersprings.com Services - Washington ..................888-713-6115 Comprehensive list of services for people experiencing homelessness and poverty in Clackamas, Multnomah Suicide Crisis Line Dougy Center for and Washington counties of Clark County................................800-626-8137 Grieving Children ...........................503-775-5683 rosecityresource.streetroots.org dougy.org Wash. County Crisis Line ..............503-291-9111 Oregon Youthline ...........................877-968-8491 COMMUNITY SUPPORT Washington State Dept. of or text “teen2teen” to 839863 Children, Youth and Families ......888-713-6115 OregonYouthline.org CaringBridge Youth Mobile Crisis Intervention - Stepping Stones/Hope caringbridge.org Clark County (Catholic Bereavement Services ..................360-696-5120 Community Services) ....................360-567-2211 Support and counseling Catholic Community Services ....360-567-2211 ccsww.org/get-help/child-youth-family-services peacehealth.org/southwest/bereavement-services ccsww.org Household Item Pick Up Youth Hotline ...................................503-224-4339 www.pickupplease.org DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Support and resources for foster, at-risk, and homeless youth aged 14-24 Lotsa Helping Hands Clackamas Women’s Services .....888-654-2288 newavenues.org Email................info@lotsahelpinghands.com cwsor.org lotsahelpinghands.com/about-us/ Gateway Center CLEAN UP/BIO-HAZARD Meal Train (Domestic Violence).......................503-988-6400 mealtrain.com portlandoregon.gov/gatewaycenter/ BioManagement NW ..................... 855-206-6906 Spoonful of Comfort - Get Well Packages bionw.com Men’s Resource Center .................503-235-3433 spoonfulofcomfort.com portlandmrc.com Heartbeat Medical & Safety ........503-544-2650 National Domestic Rapid Response Bioclean ............503-477-8765 CRIME VICTIM SERVICES, ASSISTANCE & Violence Hotline................800-799-SAFE (7233) rapidresponsebioclean.com RESTRAINING ORDER INFORMATION thehotline.org ServPro of Clark County ................360-254-0049 Call to Safety Crisis Line ...............888-235-5333 servproevancouverclarkco.com Clackamas County Victim calltosafety.org ServPro of Gresham, Assistance Program .......................503-655-8616 Raphael House Oregon City and Sandy .................503-665-7752 clackamas.us/da/victimassist.html (collect calls ok) ...............................503-222-6222 servprogresham.com Clark County raphaelhouse.com STOP Oregon....................................503-966-4131 Victim Assistance ............................564-397-2261 SafeChoice Women’s Shelter clark.wa.gov/prosecuting-attorney/victim-assistance stoprestoration.com/portland (YWCA Vancouver) .........................360-695-0501 Legal Aid/Family Law ....................503-224-4086 Toll-free ..............................................800-695-0167 COMMUNITY RESOURCES Lutheran Community Services NW Washington County Domestic (Portland/Vancouver - Crime Victim Advocates) Violence Resource Center/ Portland ........................................503-924-2448 Crisis Line...........................................503-469-8620 Catholic Charities ...........................503-231-4866 dvrc-or.org catholiccharitiesoregon.org/ Vancouver ....................................360-694-5624 Washington State Coalition Against Clackamas County Urgent Domestic Violence WSCADV ......206-389-2515 Mental Health Walk-in Clinic ......503-655-8585 CRISIS SERVICES wscadv.org Crisis services available to anyone living in Clackamas County, regardless of ability to pay or insurance plan Adult Mobile Crisis Intervention - West Women & Children’s Shelter 11211 SE 82nd Ave, Suite O, Happy Valley, OR Clark County (Community (Salvation Army) .............................503-731-3900 clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/urgentmentalhealth Services NW) ....................................800-626-8137 westwomens.salvationarmy.org Catholic Community Services ....360-567-2211 Call to Safety Crisis Line ...............888-235-5333 YWCA Vancouver ............................360-696-0167 Resources and support for sheltering, housing and calltosafety.org ywcaclarkcounty.org homelessness; families and youth services; immigrants and refugees; seniors; mental health and addiction Clackamas County Mental YWCA Portland................................503-294-7400 and recovery Health Crisis Line ............................503-655-8585 ywcapdx.org ccsww.org Clackamas County Urgent Oregon Dept. of Mental Health Walk-in Clinic ......503-655-8585 EMERGENCY SUPPLIES clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/urgentmentalhealth Human Services ..............................503-945-5600 oregon.gov/dhs Clark County Crisis Line ................800-626-8137 American Red Cross - Portland ..503-284-1234 Friendly House.................................503-228-4391 La Linea de Crisis ............................503-232-4448 American Red Cross - Non-profit community center and social services agency Additional Portland Line .........503-291-9111 SW Washington ...............................360-693-5821 friendlyhouseinc.org 6 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
COMMUNITY SERVICES Francis Center ..................................503-775-6784 Providence Milwaukie ..................503-513-8300 Human Services Council ..............360-694-6577 Serves area north of Powell from 60th to 82nd 10150 SE 32nd Avenue, Milwaukie hsc-wa.org and south of Powell from 39th to 136th Provides emergency clothing and food Providence St. Vincent Multnomah County www.franciscenterpdx.org Medical Center ................................503-216-1234 NAMI (Portland) ..............................800-950-6264 9205 SW Barnes Road, Portland nami.org Mainspring Portland (Fish Emergency Services ............503-233-5533 Providence Willamette Falls ..........503-656-1631 Multnomah County Mental mainspringpdx.org 1500 Division Street, Oregon City Health Call Center ..........................503-988-4888 St. Vincent DePaul National Alliance on Portland ........................................503-235-8431 LEGAL Mental Illness (NAMI) ....................800-950-6264 svdppdx.org nami.org Vancouver ....................................360-694-5388 Clark County Volunteer Oregon Psychological svdpvancouverusa.com Lawyers Program ............................360-695-5313 Association Referral .......................800-541-9798 ccvlp.org opa.org Salvation Army Portland ........................................971-340-4010 Disability Rights Oregon ..............503-243-2081 Providence Behavioral portland.salvationarmy.org droregon.org Health Services ................................503-215-7080 Vancouver ....................................360-892-9050 vancouver.salvationarmy.org Legal Aid Services of Oregon .....503-224-4086 Unity Center Serving both Multnomah and Clackamas County for Behavioral Health ....................503-944-7102 SnowCap ...........................................503-674-8785 lasoregon.org unityhealthcenter.org Provides clothing and emergency food. Fire - Support Services Oregon Elder Law ...........................503-284-6778 snowcap.org oregonelderlaw.com ONLINE FUNERAL SERVICES Oregon Law Center........................503-981-0336 oregonlawcenter.org Great Goodbyes HIV/AIDS www.great-goodbyes.com Cascade AIDS Project LGBTQIA (Portland)...........................................503-223-5907 POLICE cascadeaids.org Friendly House.................................503-228-4391 Cascade AIDS Project friendlyhouseinc.org Emergency ............................................. 911 (Clark County) ..................................360-750-7964 Metropolitan Community Church Camas Police Department ..........360-834-4151 cascadeaids.org (MCC) ..................................................503-281-8868 mccportland.com Clackamas County Partnership Project ........................503-230-1202 Sheriff’s Office ..................................503-655-8211 Q Center .............................................503-234-7837 pdxqcenter.org Clark County HOSPITALS Sheriff’s Office ..................................360-397-2211 SAGE (Services and Advocacy Doernbecher for LGBT Elders) ...............................503-224-2640 Gresham Police Department...........503-618-2318 Children’s Hospital .........................503-346-0640 Lake Oswego ....................................503-635-0238 700 SW Campus Drive, Portland Sexual and Gender Minority Youth Resource Center (SMYRC)............503-872-9664 Multnomah County Emanuel and Randall smyrc.org Sheriff’s Office ..................................503-988-4300 Children’s Hospital .........................503-276-6500 2801 N. Gantenbein Street, Portland Portland Police MEDICAL EXAMINER Central Precinct ...............................503-823-0097 Kaiser Sunnyside.............................503-256-0556 10180 SE Sunnyside Road, Clackamas Portland Police East Precinct ......503-823-4800 Clackamas County ME Office .....503-655-8380 Legacy Good Samaritan ...............503-413-7711 Portland Police North Precinct ..503-823-5700 Clark County ME Office.................564-397-8405 1015 NW 22nd, Portland Troutdale Police ..............................503-665-6129 Multnomah County ME Office ...503-988-0055 Legacy Salmon Creek....................360-487-1000 Vancouver Police East Precinct ..360-487-7500 2211 NE 139th St., Vancouver Washington County ME Office ..503-846-3575 Vancouver Police Legacy Meridian Park West Precinct ...................................360-487-7355 Medical Center ................................503-692-1212 MENTAL HEALTH 19300 SW 65th, Tualatin POPULATION SPECIFIC SERVICES Legacy Mt. Hood Emergency ............................................. 911 Medical Center ................................503-674-1122 24800 SE Stark Street, Gresham Adapt Behavioral Health IRCO - Immigrant and Refugee Day Hospital Program ...................360-696-5300 Community Organization..............503-234-1541 Oregon Health Sciences irco.org University/Doernbecher ..............503-494-8311 Cascadia .............................................503-674-7777 3181 Sam Jackson Park Road, Portland cascadiabhc.org El Programa Hispano Portland .......................................503-944 -7102 Peacehealth Southwest Clackamas Crisis Line and www.elprograma.org Washington Medical Center .......360-256-2000 Urgent Walk-in Clinic.....................503-655-8585 400 NE Mother Joseph Place, Vancouver clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/urgentmentalhealth Native American Youth and Family Center ...................................503-288-8177 Portland Adventist Clark County Crisis Line ................360-696-9560 nayapdx.org Medical Center ................................503-257-2500 Clark County NAMI Russian Oregon Social 10123 SE Market, Portland (Vancouver) ......................................360-695-2823 Services (ROSS)................................503-777-3437 namiswwa.org Providence Portland emoregon.org/ross/ Medical Center ................................503-215-1111 Columbia River Mental 4805 NE Glisan, Portland Health Services ................................360-993-3000 crmhs.org Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 7
COMMUNITY SERVICES Rape Victims Advocate/ SENIORS Victim Assistance Program..........503-988-3222 SUICIDE Area Agency on Aging & Disabilities Restore Hope ...................................503-667-1189 Lines for Life .....................................800-273-8255 of Southwest Washington ...........888-637-6060 Helping children with child sexual abuse 24-hour hot line - suicide hotline, military helpingelders.org and adult survivors help line, and youthline restoretheirhope.org linesforlife.org Alzheimer’s Association ...............800-272-3900 alz.org Emergency ............................................. 911 SHELTERS Clackamas County Aging and Clackamas Crisis Line and Disability Resources Collective ..503-650-5622 Bradley Angle House for Women Urgent Walk-in Clinic.....................503-655-8585 and Children.....................................503-281-2442 clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/urgentmentalhealth Clackamas County bradleyangle.org Senior Services ................................503-655-8640 Clark County Crisis Line ................360-696-9560 Call to Safety Crisis Line ...............888-235-5333 Multnomah County/ Elder Care ..........................................800-677-1116 calltosafety.org eldercare.acl.gov Portland Crisis Line ........................503-988-4888 Immediate Shelter Inquiries ...........................211 Family Caregiver 24 hr shelter line for Mult County, National Hope Support Program ............................503-988-3646 Mon-Fri, 8-6 for all other counties Line Network ....................................800-442-4673 The Family Caregiver Support Program offers services hopeline.com 211info.org that can take some of the burdens off of unpaid caregivers caring for someone Streetlight/Janus National Suicide Youth Shelter ...................................503-380-7200 Prevention Lifeline .........................800-273-8255 Oregon Elder Law ...........................503-284-6778 Overnight shelter for youth age 16-24 suicidepreventionlifeline.org oregonelderlaw.com Ticket Home .........................................................211 Survivors of Suicide Lutheran Community Services NW Resource for transportation back to family for homeless Support Group ................................503-200-0382 Portland ........................................503-231-7480 individuals, 211 does the screening process sbsnw.org Vancouver ....................................360-694-5624 lcsnw.org 211info.org Survivor Outreach Program Vancouver Emergency Shelter ..360-695-9677 (American Foundation for Multnomah County Aging and Disability vhausa.com/emergency-housing Suicide Prevention)........................503-479-8754 Helpline (Gatekeepers) ................503-988-3646 Email......................................hccoregon@afsp.org multco.us/ads/gatekeeper-program afsp.org/SOP SIDS - SUDDEN INFANT Salvation Army / Teen Line ...........................................310-855-4673 SIlvercrest Senior Housing ..........503-988-3646 DEATH SYNDROME Toll-free ..............................................800-852-8336 salvationarmyusa.org/usn/love-the-elderly/ teenlineonline.org Brief Encounters ..............................503-699-8006 Senior Loneliness Line ..................503-200-1633 Support for Bereaved Parents of Pregnancy/Infant Loss Trevor Project (Teen Crisis/Suicide seniorlonelinessline.org briefencounters.org Prevention for LGBTQ Youth)......866-488-7386 First Candle .......................................800-221-7437 thetrevorproject.org Support group for parents who have lost a child to SIDS SEXUAL ASSAULT/RAPE firstcandle.org VETERANS/MILITARY Call to Safety Crisis Line ...............888-235-5333 Hayden’s Helping Hands calltosafety.org Support/Funds for Stillborn Baby Hospital Bills Military Help Line ...........................888-457-4838 haydenshelpinghands.com militaryhelpline.org Lutheran Community Services NW Portland ........................................503-231-7480 Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep .....877-834-5667 VA Mental Health Services/ Vancouver ....................................360-694-5624 Remembrance Photography Vet Combat Call Center ................877-927-8387 lcsnw.org nowilaymedowntosleep.org vetcenter.va.gov (Trauma Intervention Program NW cannot recommend nor endorse any business. Without their advertising support, this Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.) DEALING WITH THE MEDIA If you have been involved in an incident of public interest, you n Say “NO” to an interview even though you previously n Ask that offensive photographs or visuals be omitted may encounter the media. It is important that you know your granted interviews. from airing or publication. rights and know that you have a choice regarding sharing the n Release a written statement through a spokesperson in n Conduct a television interview using a silhouette details and/or feelings with the general public. You do not lieu of an interview. or a newspaper interview without having your have an obligation to speak with the media, however if you n Exclude children from interviews. photograph taken. do, you may find the following information helpful. n Refrain from answering any questions with which you are n Give your complete side of the story related to uncomfortable or feel are inappropriate. your victimization. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO: n Know in advance what direction the story about your n Refrain from answering reporter’s questions n Say “NO” to an interview. victimization is going to take. during trial. n Select the spokesperson or advocate of your choice. n Ask for a review of your quotations in a story line prior n File a formal complaint against a reporter. n Select the time and location for media interviews. to publication. n Grieve in privacy. n Request a specific reporter. n Avoid a press conference atmosphere and speak to only n Suggest training about media and victims for print n Refuse an interview with a specific reporter even though one reporter at a time. and electronic media in your community. you have granted interviews to other reporters. n Demand a retraction when inaccurate information is reported. n Be treated with dignity and respect by the media. 8 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
DEALING WITH STRESS CRITICAL INCIDENT STRESS INFORMATION You have experienced a traumatic event or a critical incident (any event that causes unusually strong emotional reactions that have the potential to interfere with the ability to function normally). Even though the event may be over, you may now be experiencing or may experience later, some strong emotional or physical reactions. It is very common, in fact quite normal, for people to experience emotional aftershocks when they have passed through a horrible event. Sometimes the emotional aftershocks (or stress reactions) appear immediately after the traumatic event. Sometimes they may appear a few hours or a few days later. And, in some cases, weeks or months may pass before the stress reactions appear. The signs and symptoms of a stress reaction may last a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or longer, depending on the severity of the traumatic event. The understanding and the support of loved ones usually causes the stress reactions to pass more quickly. Occasionally, the traumatic event is so painful that professional assistance may be necessary. This does not imply craziness or weakness. It simply indicates that the particular event was just too powerful for the person to manage by himself/herself. Here are some common signs and signals of a stress reaction: Physical* Cognitive Emotional Behavioral chills confusion fear withdrawal thirst nightmares guilt antisocial acts fatigue uncertainty grief inability to rest nausea hyper-vigilance panic intensified pacing fainting suspiciousness denial erratic movements twitches intrusive images anxiety change in social vomiting blaming someone agitation activity dizziness poor problem solving irritability change in speech weakness poor abstract thinking depression patterns chest pain poor attention/decisions intense anger loss or increase of headaches poor concentration/ apprehension appetite elevated bp memory emotional shock hyper-alert to rapid heart rate disorientation of time, emotional outbursts environment muscle tremors place or person feeling overwhelmed increased alcohol shock symptoms difficulty identifying loss of emotional consumption grinding of teeth objects or people control change in usual visual difficulties heightened or inappropriate emotional communications profuse sweating lowered alertness response etc… difficulty breathing increased or etc… etc… decreased awareness of surroundings etc… *Any of these symptoms may indicate the need for medical evaluation. When in doubt, contact a physician. Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM): Group Crisis Intervention, 4th Edition, June 2006, International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, Inc. Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 9
DEALING WITH STRESS THINGS TO TRY n WITHIN THE FIRST 24-48 HOURS — periods of appropriate physical exercise, alternated with relaxation will alleviate some of the physical reactions. n Structure your time; keep busy. n You’re normal and having normal reactions; don’t label yourself crazy. n Talk to people; talk is the most healing medicine. n Be aware of numbing the pain with overuse of drugs or alcohol, you don’t need to complicate this with a substance abuse problem. n Reach out; people do care. n Maintain as normal a schedule as possible. n Spend time with others. n Help your co-workers as much as possible by sharing feelings and checking out how they are doing. n Give yourself permission to feel rotten and share your feelings with others. n Keep a journal; write your way through those sleepless hours. n Do things that feel good to you. n Realize those around you are under stress. n Don’t make any big life changes. n Do make as many daily decisions as possible that will give you a feeling of control over your life, i.e., if someone asks you what you want to eat, answer them even if you’re not sure. n Get plenty of rest. n Don’t try to fight reoccurring thoughts, dreams or flashbacks — they are normal and will decrease over time and become less painful. n Eat well-balanced and regular meals (even if you don’t feel like it). FOR FAMILY MEMBERS & FRIENDS n Listen carefully. n Spend time with the traumatized person. n Offer your assistance and a listening ear if they have not asked for help. n Reassure them that they are safe. n Help them with everyday tasks like cleaning, cooking, caring for the family, minding children. n Give them some private time. n Don’t take their anger or other feelings personally. n Don’t tell them that they are “lucky it wasn’t worse;” a traumatized person is not consoled by those statements. Instead, tell them that you are sorry such an event has occurred and you want to understand and assist them. Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM): Group Crisis Intervention, 4th Edition, June 2006, International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, Inc. 10 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
CHILDREN & TRAUMA Protect your child from repeated news coverage. CHILDREN & TRAUMA: n n Make it clear to your child that you are ”in SUGGESTIONS control”. It is very frightening and confusing FOR PARENTS for a child to sense that parents themselves are disorganized, confused and anxious. If your own by Wayne Fortin, Founder and CEO, response to the event interferes with your ability Trauma Intervention Programs, Inc. to care for your child, ask for help! Professionals CHILDREN ARE TRAUMATIZED BY A WIDE who specialize in working with traumatized variety of events which include but are not children can be very helpful. limited to: natural disasters, crime, auto accidents, serious illness, community violence, hostage For more assistance, situations, violence in the home and the death please call 503-823-3937. of a parent or loved one. Parents play a vital role in their child’s successful recovery from a traumatic event. Following are ways parents can help their child following a traumatic event: EFFECTIVE WAYS OF COPING AFTER A n Reassure your child that he/she will be taken care of, loved and cherished just as they were before TRAUMATIC EVENT the traumatic event. n Nurture your child. Children who have been 1. Accept the fact that you have been a victim and traumatized need physical contact. Cuddling, accept the feelings that result. Remember: others rocking, massaging and reading quietly help may not validate your feelings. In fact, they may relieve stress and anxiety. minimize your experience: “You were only a n Pay special attention at bedtime. Nighttime is witness”, or “You were really lucky”, or ”It has been particularly difficult for traumatized children. It two weeks! Why are you still bothered?” may help to read to your child, rub their back, play music and leave a light on. 2. Accept all the feelings you are having as normal n Encourage your child to tell his/her story. reactions to an extraordinary event. You are not Your child may need to tell their story repeatedly. “crazy”. You are reacting normally to a “crazy” Listen attentively and allow your child to event. Be patient with yourself. It takes time to talk about the traumatic experience at his/her recover emotionally from a traumatic event. own pace. n Provide physical outlets. Your child may have 3. Combat any guilt you might have by: pent up anger/energy in their body. Provide n Accepting it as normal. appropriate, fun and physical activities for n Talking to others about your role or their role your child. in the event. You are probably not alone in n Give your child choices and help him/her your reaction to this event. develop a sense of control. n Realizing you were a victim and are not a n Provide consistent, predictable patterns for your trained rescuer. child. If something new is about to happen, n Recognizing what you “did right”! explain to your child before hand what they n Recognizing the extenuating circumstances can expect. related to the event — the suddenness, the n Be tolerant and patient. No set timetable exists dangers, etc. for the recovery of children. Some recover quickly and others may take more time. Don’t 4. Don’t revert to “bad habits” (alcohol, drugs, compare your child to other children who have overeating) to cope. They will only make experienced the same event. matters worse. Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 11
EFFECTIVE WAYS OF COPING continued... 5. Maintain normalcy. Go about your daily routines n Maintain as normal a schedule as possible. and ”take care of business.” n Eat well-balanced and regular meals. (Even if you don’t feel like it!) 6. Attempt to understand what happened by n Try to keep a reasonable level of activity. getting the facts. n Fight against boredom. n Physical activity is often helpful. 7. Ventilate. TALK and write about the event. n Reestablish a normal schedule as soon as possible. 8. Thank those who helped you and apologize to n Express your feelings as they arise. those you hurt during and since the tragic event. n Talk to people who love you. 9. Help each other. n Find a good counselor if the feelings become n Reach out to those who are prolonged or too intense. particularly traumatized. FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY n Respect each other’s ways of coping. n Listen carefully! n Don’t victimize each other by judging other’s individual coping style. Let the “grievers” n Spend time with the traumatized person. grieve and allow the “doers” to do. n Offer your assistance and a listening ear even if they have not asked for your help. 10. Decide as a group how you want to help: n Reassure them that they are safe. n The victim n Help with everyday tasks like cleaning, n The family cooking, caring for the family and minding n Each other the children. n Give them some private time. 10. If a death has occurred: n Don’t take their anger or other n Implement or participate in a “saying feelings personally. goodbye” ritual n Don’t tell them that they are “lucky it wasn’t n Attend services worse” — traumatized people are not n Contribute to a memorial fund consoled by those kinds of statements. Instead, tell them that you are so sorry this n Establish a memorial on scene event has occurred and you would like to n Wear a symbol on clothing understand and assist them. HELPFUL HINTS If you find that you are still suffering severe Some of the following ideas might help you or symptoms (sufficient to disrupt any of your others alleviate some of the aftershocks of a normal functioning) after six weeks, professional traumatic event. counseling may be indicated. FOR YOURSELF Contact your employee assistance program, n Try to rest a bit more physician, or a mental health professional in n Contact a friend your community for a referral to a therapist who n Have someone stay with you for at least a specializes in this kind of work. few hours or periods of time for a day or two. n Recurring thoughts, nightmares and flashbacks are normal — don’t try and fight them. They will decrease over time and become less painful. Additional Resources can be obtained at www.sesamestreet.org/grief 12 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
WHEN TRAGEDY STRIKES 10 THINGS TO DO AND NOT TO DO All of us face dilemmas when something bad happens to someone we know. Many times we inadvertently say the wrong thing and increase the hurt they’re already feeling. Or, we don’t do or say anything for fear that we’ll be in the way. So here’s a practical list of 10 do’s and don’ts when it comes to helping someone who’s just experienced a death or trauma. 1. DO listen. As a rule, if you’re talking more than they are, you’re not being helpful. 2. DON’T tell your story. It’s not about you. “When my father died ...” language isn’t helpful. Don’t try and relate your pain — that’s essentially emotional theft. No matter how similar your story is, it’s not theirs. Their experience is different and happening right now. Let the focus be on them. 3. DO send a note. It may seem insignificant to you, but a thoughtful, short, handwritten note can mean the world to someone in a particular kind of hell. Even if it’s months after the death, that note will mean a lot. 4. DON’T use platitudes like, “It was God’s will,” or “She’s in God’s hands now,” or “At least he had a good life,” or “You can have other children,” Such loss is devastating and so are the mental wounds from such mindless platitudes. Discounting statements like “at least ...” hurt because nothing is going to make this situation okay. Instead, simply acknowledge the loss and express your sadness at the pain they are going through. 5. DON’T be vague. “Call me if there’s anything I can do” is practically useless. They’re not going to call; they’re too overwhelmed and too upset to even remember the offer. To someone in the immediacy of a trauma, the phone weighs 2,000 pounds and is simply too heavy to pick up for any reason, including asking for help. 6. DO be specific. Tell your friend; “I’m cooking dinner at your house on Thursday at 6 p.m.” The smells of cooking can be extremely comforting and calming. Offer to pick up friends or relatives from the airport. Take the kids to school or babysit after school. Vacuum their house. Take their trash to the curb on trash day. Imagine what you would least like to do in their situation — then volunteer to do it for them. 7. DON’T bring by a lasagna. People under extreme duress do not eat meals, they snack. Bring fresh fruit, vegetables, cheese and crackers — foods that you can eat with your fingers that don’t require cooking or clean up. Stress shuts down the digestive system. Heavy meals that require prep and clean up just add to the stress. 8. DO bring essentials. The three things that people most need immediately after a death or trauma are tissues, bottled water, and toilet paper. As family members, friends, and neighbors arrive they all need tissues and water. Water bottles eliminate the need for cups and clean up. More people means more bathroom visits so the need for more toilet paper becomes essential. 9. DO be human. If you see this person at the grocery store, don’t duck behind the soup display because you can’t think of anything to say. This just makes the person feel alienated and lonely. Acknowledge what happened by saying something like, “I’m so sorry this happened.” You don’t have to save them or provide a counseling session. They might want to talk, they might not. Your lack of comfort will only make them feel more alienated. A simple hug goes a long way. 10. DON’T judge. No matter what your feelings about the situation, use neutral language, “I remember Mike’s smile. He was also so helpful to us. I’m sorry. How are you doing?” In fact, a simple “How are you doing?” can go a long way. These situations are uncomfortable — for everyone. But with a little thought we can avoid increasing the hurt and even help when the worst happens to people we know. For more information on how to help visit www.whentragedystrikes.org Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 13
Southwest Washington CRISIS LINE Having an urgent mental health or substance use need? Give us a call. Free and available 24/7. (800) 626-8137 | TTY: (866) 835-2755 wa.beaconhealthoptions.com Text HOME to 741741 to access the National Crisis Text Line. (Trauma Intervention Program NW cannot recommend nor endorse any business. Without their advertising support, this Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.) 14 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
UNDERSTANDING AND COPING F IRE ∘WITH YOUR ∘GRIEF I NDUSTRY R ESTORATION ∘ E XPERTS Most people find the loss of a loved one the most also. It is very important that you include, not intense and difficult experience of their lives. To lose exclude, others in mourning your loss. someone is a universal experience. To mourn is a universal emotion, yet many people, both members in A fourth common error is an attempt to escape the helping profession and the bereaved themselves, the pain of loss by making even more changes in are confused about the nature of mourning. Many of their lives; selling the house, changing jobs, going those who grieve try to hide their sorrow. Many in our on long trips. All of these may be appropriate culture believe that mourning should be suppressed. in time; not when we mourn. Like our shadows, We now know that to suppress our sorrow; to thwart our feelings of sorrow cannot be run away from. the mourning process, further disorients us and makes Buying binges...radical changes in living habits... us more at risk for both emotional and physical illness. taking flight from our routines of care...these are but a few examples of how we can erroneously If you are newly bereaved, you may find it very difficult try to avoid sorrow. What is important for you is to concentrate on what you are reading, and that is to make as few changes in your circumstances perfectly normal. We will discuss specific topics in of living as possible. While there will be many depth to be used when it’s not so difficult to think. changes you cannot avoid, postpone as many as Let me mention some errors many mourners make. you can. THE MOST COMMON ERRORS A fifth common error of mourners is to ignore The most common errors made by mourners usually their own health. For some, it seems to be going begin with the people believing that mourning should to the extreme of feeling the best way of honoring be over in a short period. We know, on the basis of the dead is to die with them. For others, it is to specific polls, for example, that a majority of the abandon self-esteem. Whatever your reason, you people believe mourning should be over in 48 hours need to care for your own health. Y o u r R e to two weeks. THIS ASSUMPTION IS FALSE. Loss of yours t o r a t i o n E xp e r ts loved one will have a measurable and visible impact Taken from video tapes by Dr. Glen Davidson, Ph.D., on you well beyond a year’s time. 24-HOand Uproduced R by Twenty-Twenty media, a subsidiary of Dodge Chemical Compny, A second common error EisM Emany that RG E NC Y R people ES P Cambridge, ONSE Massachusetts. believe that they can suppress their sorrows, at least 24-HOUR SERVICES | 24-HOUR EMERGENCY CONTACTS S to other people’s eyes. They try to use alcohol or tranquilizing●drugs B oa orrmagical d U p thinking to suppress Greg Philo | 503-317-3295 their emotions. They inevitably fail. Our emotions ● Shorare and their expressions in gtheSonly tabmeans ilizatwe iohave n to Southwest Washington reorient ourselves after major change in our lives. It is important● forTyour reeemotional, Rem ovphysical al health to Office | 503-305-7285 CRISIS LINE express emotions ● Tein mnon-destructive p Fence ways. One of the Fax most effective ways of recovering from sorrow is to Having an |urgent 503-305-7284 mental health or cry. Whether●you Elareecatrman icaor aa l S woman, fe -Ofto f cry seems substance use need? Give us a call. Free to be necessary for your health. To cry with others who Simple. and available Affordable. 24/7. Caring. ● F i r e S c e n e P r o t grieve makes the task of reorientation easier.e c t i o n F We’ve I R been E X P committed E to R T serving S . Clark n etfamilies County with professional, compassionate care since 1993. (800) 626-8137 | TTY: (866) 835-2755 Call today speak with a dedicated associate 24/7. A third common error of mourners is to try to make their sorrow a private matter. A famous poet, John wa.beaconhealthoptions.comDavies Donne, wasFind quiteus on Facebook correct when he wrote, ●”Nowww.facebook.com/pages/fire-restoration man is CREMATION & BURIAL SERVICES 301 E McLoughlin Blvd., Ste. E | Vancouver an island unto himself.” No matter how overwhelmed, Text HOME to 741741 to access the National Crisis Text Line. 360-693-1036 lonely or impotent you feel, your loss is other’s loss (Trauma (Trauma Intervention Program Intervention Program NWofcannot recommend nor endorse Portland/Vancouver any business. Inc. cannot Without their recommend nor advertising endorse anysupport, this Citizen business. Resource Without Guide their would not be advertising possible.)this support, Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.) 14 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE Trauma Intervention TIP of Portland/Vancouver Program CITIZEN NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 14 RESOURCE GUIDE 17 15
COPING WITH SUICIDE AS A FAMILY It is important to sit down together to talk, cry, feel rage, guilt and even be silent. Communication is the key to survival in the aftermath of suicide. At the same time, there should be respect for each person’s individual way of handling grief. Some family members will grieve privately, others openly, and others a combination of these two styles. In many ways, each family member must grieve alone. Here are some suggestions to help with family grief. Pay attention to your family members when you are with them. Let them know that you love them. Be sensitive to how other family members feel. Listen to what is meant as well as what is being said. Accept the other person and what they say. Don’t give each other the silent treatment. This has many negative effects. Sit back and listen. Let other family members have an opportunity to talk. Be sure to hug and touch each other at every opportunity. Recognize that anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays will be difficult for each member of the family. Remember, you can’t help anyone if you’re falling apart. Do what you can do for yourself – and get help for what you can’t do. If depression, grief, or problems in your family are getting out of control, seek the advice of a counselor. Studies show that a bereaved person’s self-esteem is extremely low. Survivors should work on their image of themselves, and to help each family member to think and feel good about them. If there is a suicide note, discuss as a family what to do with it. If you think it will only bring you pain, then have a private burning and commit its contents to God or a higher power. www.afsp.org CLICHES – WHAT NOT TO SAY Well-meaning people who don’t know what to say often use cliches. Sometimes they cause more aggravation than comfort. Here are a few that shouldn’t be said in time of grief: n I know how you feel n I just don’t know how you n You will/can have are so strong another child n Calm down n I don’t know what I would n You have other children n It will be better tomorrow have done if it had been me n It’s time to get on with n It’s God’s will n Don’t cry, it’s ok your life n They are better off n You don’t want to do that n Life goes on n They’re happier in heaven n Don’t feel n It is divine to forgive n You will get married again n They will never hurt again n Call me if you need me n Time heals all wounds n Had they lived, they would n It was part of God’s plan never be the same 16 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
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