www.tipnw.org - Citizen Resource Guide Citizens Helping Citizens in Crisis - Trauma Intervention Program

 
CONTINUE READING
www.tipnw.org - Citizen Resource Guide Citizens Helping Citizens in Crisis - Trauma Intervention Program
Citizens Helping
               Citizens in Crisis
              503.940.7997
                       24 Hour Number

 Citizen Resource Guide

                4800 NE 122nd Avenue
2020 - 2021        Portland, OR 97230
Volume 14          Office 503.823.3937

  www.tipnw.org
IMPORTANT INFORMATION

                                                                                     24-Hour Number
                                                                                        503.940.7997
                                                                                Key in your return phone number or leave a
                                                                                 voice message for an immediate call back.

            TIP Volunteer(s)_________________________________________________________________

            Agencies Involved ______________________________________________________________

            Important Phone Numbers _________________________                           ___________________________

                                                _________________________               ___________________________

                                                _________________________               ___________________________

                                                _________________________               ___________________________

            Notes _________________________________________________________________________

            ______________________________________________________________________________

            ______________________________________________________________________________

            ______________________________________________________________________________

            ______________________________________________________________________________

                                                                                       You Matter to Us
          What is TIP?                                                                 We’d like to hear from you.
          Trauma Intervention Program (TIP) is a group of specially trained
          and thoroughly-screened citizen volunteers who provide emotional             Please visit us online to give
          and practical support to survivors of traumatic events and their             feedback, ask questions
          families in the first few hours following a tragedy. TIP Volunteers          or get more resources.
          are called through the emergency response system — by police,
          firefighters and hospital personnel.                                         www.tipnw.org
          TIP is a national non-profit, tax-exempt organization. Services
          are provided to survivors and their families free of charge and are
          made possible by donations from local government, businesses                         TIP Northwest
          and individuals.

          Trauma Intervention Program NW was founded in 1992. 180 local                        TIPNW
          volunteers are available to respond immediately to crisis situations
          on a 24-hour, 365 days-a-year basis.
                                                                                               TIPNW

2   Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
TABLE OF CONTENTS: RESOURCES AND ARTICLES
     What is TIP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2                 Understanding & Coping with Grief . . . . . . . . . . . 17
     Contact TIP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2                 Developmental Stages of Traumatized Children . . 18
     Crisis Lines . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4                Talking with Traumatized Children . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
     Dougy Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4                    Checklist Following a Death . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
     Community Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 – 8                           Dealing with Tragedy in Workplace Checklist . . . . 21
     Dealing with Media . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8                      Medication Disposal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
     Common Signs and Signals of Stress . . . . . . . . . 9                                ABC’s of Disposition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
     Things to Try After a Death . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10                          Things to Consider . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
     Children & Trauma Suggestions for Parents . . . 11                                    Required Information for Death Certificate . . . 25 – 26
     Effective Ways of Coping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11–12                            General Information in Oregon & Washington . . . 27
     10 Things to Do and Not Do . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13                           Listing of Funeral Homes in Multnomah,
     Coping with Suicide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16                        Clackamas and Clark Counties . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 – 30
     Clichés - What Not to Say . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16                        Memorial Contributions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

The biggest funeral regret
               Mom’s funeral was                                                            A new way to arrange a funeral
                                                                                            Great-Goodbyes.com was formed to inspire and
         generic and ordinary, not at                                                       encourage the creation of wonderful funerals. To equip
        all a true reflection of her life.                                                  people with the knowledge and skills to plan unique
        We all felt empty afterwards.                                                       farewells for the people they love.

                                                                                            Great Goodbyes is a portal
It’s hard enough losing someone you love. It’s worse when                                   • To find the right funeral home
the way you say goodbye is ordinary. Generic. Templated.                                    • To connect you with a wide range of creative suppliers
                                                                                            • To enable you to quickly compare prices and offerings
That’s not how you wanted it to go, but there seemed so
                                                                                              in private and without any pressure
few options for creative expression and personal touches.
                                                                                            • To understand the full range of creative options that are
So in the end, the whole thing followed a formula, and
                                                                                              legally available to you (the venue possibilities alone will
looked like every other funeral farewell that had used the
                                                                                              surprise you).
same template.

But your mom wasn’t a template.                                                             Don’t let your goodbye be ordinary
                                                                                            We get one chance to say goodbye to the ones we love.
Nor was your son. Or husband. Friend. Wife. Mate.
                                                                                            Great-goodbyes.com
Uncle...They were one-of-a-kind people and should have
                                                                                            will help you make your
been farewelled in a way that reflected that truth. It should
                                                                                            farewell extraordinary.
have been different then. It can be different now.

                                         Go to great-goodbyes.com
         (Trauma Intervention Program NW cannot recommend nor endorse any business. Without their advertising support, this Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.)

                                                                                                                 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE       3
CRISIS L!NES 24/7                                                                                                                       SUPPORT/HELP
                                                                                                                                                WHEN YOU NEED IT
         CLACKAMAS COUNTY                                                                   WASHINGTON COUNTY
         503-655-8585                                                                       503-291-9111
         24-7 crisis and support line                                                       24/7 help for people experiencing a mental health crisis.
         https://www.clackamas.us/behavioralhealth                                          Interpreters provided
                                                                                            https://www.co.washington.or.us/HHS/MentalHealth/index.cfm
         CLARK COUNTY
         800-626-8137                                                                       MILITARY CRISIS LINE
         Behavioral health crisis services are available 24/7                               888-457-4838
         https://www.clark.wa.gov/community-services/                                       Press 1, or access online chat by texting 838255.
         clark-county-crisis-services                                                       https://www.militaryonesource.mil/health-wellness/
                                                                                            mental-health/suicide
         MULTNOMAH COUNTY
         503-988-4888                                                                       LINES FOR LIFE
         24/7 crisis counseling by phone, with translation                                  Call 800-273-8255
         services for non-English speakers.                                                 24/7 365 days a year
         https://multco.us/mhas/mental-health-services                                      https://www.linesforlife.org/

         SKAMANIA COUNTY
         Mental Health and Public Health / 24 Hour Crisis Line                              If you do not know which county you are in,
         509-427-3850
         http://www.skamaniacounty.org/
                                                                                            please call any crisis line number
         community-health/homepage/mental-health/                                           and they will assist you.

             The right place when                                                                                      In our community, 1 in 17 children
              nothing feels right.                                                                                     will have a parent or sibling die before
                                                                                                                       they turn 18. Dougy Center serves
                                                                                                                       these children, teens, young adults, and
                                                                                                                       their adult family members through
                                                                                                                       peer grief support groups in the
                                                                                                                       Portland Metro area, including through
                                                                                                                       virtual groups during the pandemic.

                                                                                                                       Dougy Center also provides resources
                                                                                                                       and training world-wide to schools,
                                                                                                                       organizations, and individuals seeking
                                                                                                                       to assist children in grief.

                                                                                                                       Dougy Center’s services are
                                                                                                                       completely free for families. We we
                                                                                                                       rely on the generousity of individuals,
                                                                                                                       businesses, and foundations to
                                                                                                                       support our programs.

                                              Dougy Center | 503.775.5683 | dougy.org | help@dougy.org
                (Trauma Intervention Program NW cannot recommend nor endorse any business. Without their advertising support, this Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.)

4   Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
COMMUNITY SERVICES
                      ADOLESCENTS                                                                                                              Dougy Center for
                                                                        Narcotics Anonymous ..................503-345-9839                     Grieving Children ...........................503-775-5683
                                                                           na.org                                                              Toll-free ..............................................866-775-5683
Angels In The Outfield ..................503-313-8122                                                                                             Bereavement support and counseling for children
   Helping 18 and younger impacted by crime or abuse
                                                                        Lifeline Connections
                                                                        for Clark County ..............................360-397-8246               dougy.org
   www.theangelsintheoutfield.org
                                                                           lifelineconnections.org                                             First Candle Grief
Children’s Home Society                                                                                                                        Support Line.....................................800-221-7437
of Washington/Vancouver                                                 Lines for Life -
                                                                        Alcohol and Drug Help .................800-273-8255                       Support group for parents who have lost a child to SIDS
Family Resource Center ................360-695-1325                                                                                               firstcandle.org
                                                                           or text “273TALK” to 839863
   www.childrenshomesociety.org/home
                                                                           linesforlife.org                                                    Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep .....877-834-5667
Clackamas County                                                                                                                                 and ..................................................720-283-3339
Juvenile Department ....................503-655-8342                    National Helpline............. 800-662-HELP (4357)
                                                                                                                                                  Remembrance Photography
   www.clackamas.us/juvenile                                                                                                                      nowilaymedowntosleep.org
Clark County                                                                             ANIMAL ASSISTANCE                                     Parents of Murdered Children ...503-656-8039
Juvenile Department ....................360-397-2201                                                                                              Bereavement support and counseling for children
   www.clark.wa.gov/juvenile-court/juvenile-court-                      Animal Aid ........................................503-292-6628           pomc.org
   contact-information                                                     animalaidpdx.org
                                                                        Bonnie L. Hays Animal Shelter ...503-846-7041                          Precious Moments .........................360-696-5120
Harry’s Mother ... 503-233-8111/800-914-9706                               co.washington.or.us/HHS/AnimalServices/                                Miscarriage, stillborn and newborn death
   Shelter for 9-17 year olds and Crisis Intervention                                                                                             peacehealth.org/sites/default/files/Documents/..............
   janusyouth.org                                                       Clackamas County                                                          Bereavement-Brochure.pdf
                                                                        Animal Control ................................503-655-8628
Homeless Youth Services .............503-233-6090                          clackamas.us/dogs/                                                  Sesame Street Bereavement
   janusyouth.org/programs/homeless-youth                                                                                                         www.sesamestreet.org/grief
                                                                        Critter Gitter .....................................503-253-5584
Insights Teen Parent Program ....503-239-6996                                                                                                  Stepping Stones/Hope
   insightstpp.org/programs                                             Dignified Pet Services/Tigard.....503-885-2211                         Bereavement Services ..................360-696-5120
                                                                        Milwaukie ..........................................503-783-6115          Support and counseling
Lines for Life .....................................877-968-8491           dignifiedpetservices.com                                               peacehealth.org/southwest/services/hospice/ .................
Multnomah County Juvenile                                               Dove Lewis Emergency                                                      bereavement-services/
Services Division .............................503-988-3460             Animal Hospital...............................503-228-7281
   multco.us/dcj-juvenile
                                                                                                                                               Survivors of Suicide Support
                                                                           dovelewis.org                                                       Group Portland................................503-200-0382
National Runaway Safeline .........800-786-2929                         House Of Dreams -                                                         www.sbsnw.org
   1800runaway.org                                                      No Kill Cat Shelter ...........................503-262-0763            Victims of Violent Crime
                                                                           kittydreams.org                                                     and their Families & Friends ......855-484-2846
Porch Light Street
Light Youth Services ......................503-432-3986                 Meowhaus Cat Boarding                                                     victimsupportservices.org

SMYRC - Sexual & Gender Minority                                        and Assistance ............................... 503-281-0222
                                                                           meowhaus.biz                                                                      BOARD UP/RESTORATION
Youth Resource Center .................503-872-9664
   pdxqcenter.org and www.smyrc.org                                     Multnomah County
Trevor Project -                                                        Animal Services ...............................503-988-7387            1-800-Board-Up ..............................800-262-7387
                                                                           multcopets.org                                                         1-800boardup.com
Teen Suicide Prevention ..............866-488-7386
   thetrevorproject.org                                                 Oregon Humane Society .............503-285-7722                        BELFOR ...............................................503-408-8880
                                                                           oregonhumane.org
                                                                                                                                                 24/7 Emergency Number .......800-856-3333
Youthera -                                                                                                                                        belfor.com
Clackamas County Drop ..............971-334-9295                        Dove Lewis (24-hours/
   www.youthera.org                                                     Pet Loss Groups) .............................503-234-2061             Cornerstone Disaster Repair .........503-295-0108
                                                                                                                                                  cornerstonerepair.com
                                                                           dovelewis.org
Youthline (Lines for Life) ..............877-968-8491
or text “teen2teen” to 839863                                           Second Chance Companions .....360-687-4569                             F.I.R.E - Fire Industry
   Call for information. Online chat is available at ................      sccpets.com
                                                                                                                                               Restoration Experts .......................503-305-7285
   OregonYouthline.org                                                                                                                            firexperts.net
                                                                        SW Wash. Humane Society .........360-693-4746
                                                                           southwesthumane.org                                                 ServPro of Clark County ................360-254-0049
                    ALCOHOL/DRUGS                                                                                                                 servproevancouverclarkco.com

                                                                                              BEREAVEMENT                                      ServPro of Gresham,
Al-anon Information                                                                                                                            Oregon City and Sandy .................503-665-7752
(Portland)...........................................503-292-1333                                                                                 servprogresham.com
Al-anon Information                                                     Many bereavement groups can be found
(Vancouver) ......................................360-693-5781          at local churches and hospitals.
                                                                        Community Home Health                                                          BODY & ANATOMICAL DONATION
Al-anon/Al-ateen
Information Service .......................888-425-2666                 and Hospice......................................360-253-4626
   al-anonportlandoregon.org                                            Grief Support Services ..................360-703-0300                  Educational Body Donation........503-404-4114
                                                                           chhh.org                                                               educationalbodydonation.org
Alcohol and Drug Hotline ...........503-244-1312
  Toll Free .........................................800-923-4357       Brief Encounters                                                       OHSU Body
                                                                           Message Phone ..........................503-699-8006                Donation Program .........................503-494-8302
Alcoholics Anonymous                                                       Miscarriage, stillborn and newborn death                               ohsu.edu/body-donation
  Portland ........................................503-223-8569            briefencounters.org
  Vancouver ....................................360-694-3870                                                                                   Medcure - Body Donation
   aa.org                                                               Compassionate Friends ................877-969-0010                     for Medical Research .....................866-560-2525
                                                                          and ..................................................503-307-8450      medcure.org
Cocaine Anonymous .....................503-256-1666                        For parents who have lost a child of any age,
   caorwa.org                                                              for any reason
                                                                                                                                               Science Care -
                                                                           compassionatefriends.org
                                                                                                                                               Whole Body Donation ..................800-417-3747
Families Anonymous .....................800-736-9805                                                                                              sciencecare.com
   familiesanonymous.org

                                                                                                                                   Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE                         5
COMMUNITY SERVICES
                                                                 Neighborhood House ...................503-246-1663                Lifeline Connections
          CHILDREN/YOUTH RESOURCES                                  County youth and family service center, serves all of .....    Wellness Center...............................360-205-1222
                                                                    West Multnomah County                                             lifelineconnections.org
CARES NW .........................................503-276-9000      nhpdx.org
    Multidisciplinary prevention, medical evaluation,                                                                              Multnomah County Crisis Line ..503-988-4888
    and ongoing treatment of child abuse and neglect             Northwest Family Services ..........503-546-6377
                                                                    Programs for youth, counseling, couples classes,               National Alliance on
    caresnw.org
                                                                    parenting, money management, job readiness/placement           Mental Illness (NAMI) ....................800-950-6264
Child Abuse Hotline.......................800-422-4453              nwfs.org
                                                                                                                                   Oregon Child Abuse Hotline ......855-503-7233
    childhelp.org
                                                                 Peer and Family Support Services                                  Project Respond..............................503-988-4888
Child Protective                                                 (Clackamas County) .......................503-655-8585
Services - Oregon ...........................503-731-3100           clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/support.html                     Rainier Springs Mental
                                                                                                                                   Health Services ................................360-869-0144
Child Protective                                                 Street Roots                                                         rainiersprings.com
Services - Washington ..................888-713-6115                Comprehensive list of services for people experiencing
                                                                    homelessness and poverty in Clackamas, Multnomah               Suicide Crisis Line
Dougy Center for                                                    and Washington counties                                        of Clark County................................800-626-8137
Grieving Children ...........................503-775-5683           rosecityresource.streetroots.org
    dougy.org                                                                                                                      Wash. County Crisis Line ..............503-291-9111
Oregon Youthline ...........................877-968-8491                        COMMUNITY SUPPORT                                  Washington State Dept. of
or text “teen2teen” to 839863                                                                                                      Children, Youth and Families ......888-713-6115
    OregonYouthline.org
                                                                 CaringBridge                                                      Youth Mobile Crisis Intervention -
Stepping Stones/Hope                                                caringbridge.org                                               Clark County (Catholic
Bereavement Services ..................360-696-5120                                                                                Community Services) ....................360-567-2211
    Support and counseling                                       Catholic Community Services ....360-567-2211
                                                                                                                                      ccsww.org/get-help/child-youth-family-services
    peacehealth.org/southwest/bereavement-services                  ccsww.org

                                                                 Household Item Pick Up
Youth Hotline ...................................503-224-4339       www.pickupplease.org                                                            DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
    Support and resources for foster, at-risk, and homeless
    youth aged 14-24                                             Lotsa Helping Hands                                               Clackamas Women’s Services .....888-654-2288
    newavenues.org                                                 Email................info@lotsahelpinghands.com                    cwsor.org
                                                                    lotsahelpinghands.com/about-us/
                                                                                                                                   Gateway Center
              CLEAN UP/BIO-HAZARD                                Meal Train                                                        (Domestic Violence).......................503-988-6400
                                                                    mealtrain.com
                                                                                                                                      portlandoregon.gov/gatewaycenter/
BioManagement NW ..................... 855-206-6906              Spoonful of Comfort - Get Well Packages
    bionw.com                                                                                                                      Men’s Resource Center .................503-235-3433
                                                                    spoonfulofcomfort.com
                                                                                                                                      portlandmrc.com
Heartbeat Medical & Safety ........503-544-2650
                                                                                                                                   National Domestic
Rapid Response Bioclean ............503-477-8765                   CRIME VICTIM SERVICES, ASSISTANCE &                             Violence Hotline................800-799-SAFE (7233)
    rapidresponsebioclean.com                                        RESTRAINING ORDER INFORMATION                                    thehotline.org

ServPro of Clark County ................360-254-0049                                                                               Call to Safety Crisis Line ...............888-235-5333
    servproevancouverclarkco.com                                 Clackamas County Victim                                              calltosafety.org

ServPro of Gresham,                                              Assistance Program .......................503-655-8616            Raphael House
Oregon City and Sandy .................503-665-7752                 clackamas.us/da/victimassist.html
                                                                                                                                   (collect calls ok) ...............................503-222-6222
    servprogresham.com                                           Clark County                                                         raphaelhouse.com

STOP Oregon....................................503-966-4131      Victim Assistance ............................564-397-2261        SafeChoice Women’s Shelter
                                                                    clark.wa.gov/prosecuting-attorney/victim-assistance
    stoprestoration.com/portland                                                                                                   (YWCA Vancouver) .........................360-695-0501
                                                                 Legal Aid/Family Law ....................503-224-4086             Toll-free ..............................................800-695-0167
             COMMUNITY RESOURCES                                 Lutheran Community Services NW                                    Washington County Domestic
                                                                 (Portland/Vancouver - Crime Victim Advocates)                     Violence Resource Center/
                                                                   Portland ........................................503-924-2448   Crisis Line...........................................503-469-8620
Catholic Charities ...........................503-231-4866                                                                            dvrc-or.org
    catholiccharitiesoregon.org/
                                                                   Vancouver ....................................360-694-5624
                                                                                                                                   Washington State Coalition Against
Clackamas County Urgent                                                                                                            Domestic Violence WSCADV ......206-389-2515
Mental Health Walk-in Clinic ......503-655-8585                                     CRISIS SERVICES
                                                                                                                                      wscadv.org
    Crisis services available to anyone living in Clackamas
    County, regardless of ability to pay or insurance plan       Adult Mobile Crisis Intervention -                                West Women & Children’s Shelter
    11211 SE 82nd Ave, Suite O, Happy Valley, OR                 Clark County (Community                                           (Salvation Army) .............................503-731-3900
    clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/urgentmentalhealth             Services NW) ....................................800-626-8137        westwomens.salvationarmy.org

Catholic Community Services ....360-567-2211                     Call to Safety Crisis Line ...............888-235-5333            YWCA Vancouver ............................360-696-0167
    Resources and support for sheltering, housing and               calltosafety.org                                                  ywcaclarkcounty.org
    homelessness; families and youth services; immigrants
    and refugees; seniors; mental health and addiction
                                                                 Clackamas County Mental                                           YWCA Portland................................503-294-7400
    and recovery
                                                                 Health Crisis Line ............................503-655-8585          ywcapdx.org
    ccsww.org                                                    Clackamas County Urgent
Oregon Dept. of                                                  Mental Health Walk-in Clinic ......503-655-8585                                   EMERGENCY SUPPLIES
                                                                    clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/urgentmentalhealth
Human Services ..............................503-945-5600
    oregon.gov/dhs                                               Clark County Crisis Line ................800-626-8137             American Red Cross - Portland ..503-284-1234
Friendly House.................................503-228-4391      La Linea de Crisis ............................503-232-4448       American Red Cross -
    Non-profit community center and social services agency         Additional Portland Line .........503-291-9111                  SW Washington ...............................360-693-5821
    friendlyhouseinc.org

6   Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
COMMUNITY SERVICES
Francis Center ..................................503-775-6784       Providence Milwaukie ..................503-513-8300                    Human Services Council ..............360-694-6577
   Serves area north of Powell from 60th to 82nd                       10150 SE 32nd Avenue, Milwaukie                                        hsc-wa.org
   and south of Powell from 39th to 136th
   Provides emergency clothing and food                             Providence St. Vincent                                                 Multnomah County
   www.franciscenterpdx.org                                         Medical Center ................................503-216-1234            NAMI (Portland) ..............................800-950-6264
                                                                       9205 SW Barnes Road, Portland                                          nami.org
Mainspring Portland
(Fish Emergency Services ............503-233-5533                   Providence Willamette Falls ..........503-656-1631                     Multnomah County Mental
   mainspringpdx.org                                                   1500 Division Street, Oregon City                                   Health Call Center ..........................503-988-4888

St. Vincent DePaul                                                                                                                         National Alliance on
   Portland ........................................503-235-8431                                 LEGAL                                     Mental Illness (NAMI) ....................800-950-6264
   svdppdx.org                                                                                                                                nami.org
   Vancouver ....................................360-694-5388       Clark County Volunteer                                                 Oregon Psychological
   svdpvancouverusa.com                                             Lawyers Program ............................360-695-5313               Association Referral .......................800-541-9798
                                                                       ccvlp.org                                                              opa.org
Salvation Army
  Portland ........................................971-340-4010     Disability Rights Oregon ..............503-243-2081                    Providence Behavioral
   portland.salvationarmy.org                                          droregon.org                                                        Health Services ................................503-215-7080
   Vancouver ....................................360-892-9050
   vancouver.salvationarmy.org                                      Legal Aid Services of Oregon .....503-224-4086                         Unity Center
                                                                       Serving both Multnomah and Clackamas County                         for Behavioral Health ....................503-944-7102
SnowCap ...........................................503-674-8785        lasoregon.org                                                          unityhealthcenter.org
   Provides clothing and emergency food.
   Fire - Support Services                                          Oregon Elder Law ...........................503-284-6778
   snowcap.org                                                         oregonelderlaw.com                                                             ONLINE FUNERAL SERVICES
                                                                    Oregon Law Center........................503-981-0336
                                                                       oregonlawcenter.org                                                 Great Goodbyes
                          HIV/AIDS                                                                                                            www.great-goodbyes.com

Cascade AIDS Project                                                                           LGBTQIA
(Portland)...........................................503-223-5907                                                                                                     POLICE
   cascadeaids.org
                                                                    Friendly House.................................503-228-4391
Cascade AIDS Project                                                   friendlyhouseinc.org                                                Emergency ............................................. 911
(Clark County) ..................................360-750-7964       Metropolitan Community Church                                          Camas Police Department ..........360-834-4151
   cascadeaids.org
                                                                    (MCC) ..................................................503-281-8868
                                                                       mccportland.com                                                     Clackamas County
Partnership Project ........................503-230-1202                                                                                   Sheriff’s Office ..................................503-655-8211
                                                                    Q Center .............................................503-234-7837
                                                                       pdxqcenter.org                                                      Clark County
                        HOSPITALS                                                                                                          Sheriff’s Office ..................................360-397-2211
                                                                    SAGE (Services and Advocacy
Doernbecher                                                         for LGBT Elders) ...............................503-224-2640           Gresham Police Department...........503-618-2318
Children’s Hospital .........................503-346-0640                                                                                  Lake Oswego ....................................503-635-0238
   700 SW Campus Drive, Portland
                                                                    Sexual and Gender Minority Youth
                                                                    Resource Center (SMYRC)............503-872-9664                        Multnomah County
Emanuel and Randall                                                    smyrc.org                                                           Sheriff’s Office ..................................503-988-4300
Children’s Hospital .........................503-276-6500
   2801 N. Gantenbein Street, Portland                                                                                                     Portland Police
                                                                                      MEDICAL EXAMINER                                     Central Precinct ...............................503-823-0097
Kaiser Sunnyside.............................503-256-0556
   10180 SE Sunnyside Road, Clackamas                                                                                                      Portland Police East Precinct ......503-823-4800
                                                                    Clackamas County ME Office .....503-655-8380
Legacy Good Samaritan ...............503-413-7711                                                                                          Portland Police North Precinct ..503-823-5700
                                                                    Clark County ME Office.................564-397-8405
   1015 NW 22nd, Portland
                                                                                                                                           Troutdale Police ..............................503-665-6129
                                                                    Multnomah County ME Office ...503-988-0055
Legacy Salmon Creek....................360-487-1000                                                                                        Vancouver Police East Precinct ..360-487-7500
   2211 NE 139th St., Vancouver                                     Washington County ME Office ..503-846-3575
                                                                                                                                           Vancouver Police
Legacy Meridian Park                                                                                                                       West Precinct ...................................360-487-7355
Medical Center ................................503-692-1212                              MENTAL HEALTH
   19300 SW 65th, Tualatin
                                                                                                                                                  POPULATION SPECIFIC SERVICES
Legacy Mt. Hood                                                     Emergency ............................................. 911
Medical Center ................................503-674-1122
   24800 SE Stark Street, Gresham
                                                                    Adapt Behavioral Health                                                IRCO - Immigrant and Refugee
                                                                    Day Hospital Program ...................360-696-5300                   Community Organization..............503-234-1541
Oregon Health Sciences                                                                                                                        irco.org
University/Doernbecher ..............503-494-8311                   Cascadia .............................................503-674-7777
   3181 Sam Jackson Park Road, Portland
                                                                       cascadiabhc.org                                                     El Programa Hispano
                                                                                                                                              Portland .......................................503-944 -7102
Peacehealth Southwest                                               Clackamas Crisis Line and                                                 www.elprograma.org
Washington Medical Center .......360-256-2000                       Urgent Walk-in Clinic.....................503-655-8585
   400 NE Mother Joseph Place, Vancouver
                                                                       clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/urgentmentalhealth                    Native American Youth and
                                                                                                                                           Family Center ...................................503-288-8177
Portland Adventist                                                  Clark County Crisis Line ................360-696-9560                     nayapdx.org
Medical Center ................................503-257-2500         Clark County NAMI                                                      Russian Oregon Social
   10123 SE Market, Portland                                        (Vancouver) ......................................360-695-2823         Services (ROSS)................................503-777-3437
                                                                       namiswwa.org
Providence Portland                                                                                                                           emoregon.org/ross/
Medical Center ................................503-215-1111         Columbia River Mental
   4805 NE Glisan, Portland                                         Health Services ................................360-993-3000
                                                                       crmhs.org

                                                                                                                               Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE                     7
COMMUNITY SERVICES
                                                                         Rape Victims Advocate/
                           SENIORS                                       Victim Assistance Program..........503-988-3222                                                        SUICIDE
Area Agency on Aging & Disabilities                                      Restore Hope ...................................503-667-1189               Lines for Life .....................................800-273-8255
of Southwest Washington ...........888-637-6060                                Helping children with child sexual abuse                                  24-hour hot line - suicide hotline, military
    helpingelders.org                                                          and adult survivors                                                       help line, and youthline
                                                                               restoretheirhope.org                                                      linesforlife.org
Alzheimer’s Association ...............800-272-3900
    alz.org                                                                                                                                         Emergency ............................................. 911
                                                                                                     SHELTERS
Clackamas County Aging and                                                                                                                          Clackamas Crisis Line and
Disability Resources Collective ..503-650-5622                           Bradley Angle House for Women                                              Urgent Walk-in Clinic.....................503-655-8585
                                                                         and Children.....................................503-281-2442                   clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/urgentmentalhealth
Clackamas County                                                               bradleyangle.org
Senior Services ................................503-655-8640                                                                                        Clark County Crisis Line ................360-696-9560
                                                                         Call to Safety Crisis Line ...............888-235-5333                     Multnomah County/
Elder Care ..........................................800-677-1116              calltosafety.org
    eldercare.acl.gov                                                                                                                               Portland Crisis Line ........................503-988-4888
                                                                         Immediate Shelter Inquiries ...........................211
Family Caregiver                                                               24 hr shelter line for Mult County,
                                                                                                                                                    National Hope
Support Program ............................503-988-3646                       Mon-Fri, 8-6 for all other counties
                                                                                                                                                    Line Network ....................................800-442-4673
    The Family Caregiver Support Program offers services                                                                                                 hopeline.com
                                                                               211info.org
    that can take some of the burdens off of unpaid
    caregivers caring for someone                                        Streetlight/Janus                                                          National Suicide
                                                                         Youth Shelter ...................................503-380-7200              Prevention Lifeline .........................800-273-8255
Oregon Elder Law ...........................503-284-6778                       Overnight shelter for youth age 16-24
                                                                                                                                                         suicidepreventionlifeline.org
    oregonelderlaw.com
                                                                         Ticket Home .........................................................211   Survivors of Suicide
Lutheran Community Services NW                                                 Resource for transportation back to family for homeless
                                                                                                                                                    Support Group ................................503-200-0382
  Portland ........................................503-231-7480                individuals, 211 does the screening process
                                                                                                                                                         sbsnw.org
  Vancouver ....................................360-694-5624
    lcsnw.org
                                                                               211info.org                                                          Survivor Outreach Program
                                                                         Vancouver Emergency Shelter ..360-695-9677                                 (American Foundation for
Multnomah County Aging and Disability                                          vhausa.com/emergency-housing
                                                                                                                                                    Suicide Prevention)........................503-479-8754
Helpline (Gatekeepers) ................503-988-3646                                                                                                 Email......................................hccoregon@afsp.org
    multco.us/ads/gatekeeper-program                                                                                                                     afsp.org/SOP
                                                                                          SIDS - SUDDEN INFANT
Salvation Army /                                                                                                                                    Teen Line ...........................................310-855-4673
SIlvercrest Senior Housing ..........503-988-3646                                           DEATH SYNDROME                                          Toll-free ..............................................800-852-8336
    salvationarmyusa.org/usn/love-the-elderly/                                                                                                           teenlineonline.org
                                                                         Brief Encounters ..............................503-699-8006
Senior Loneliness Line ..................503-200-1633                          Support for Bereaved Parents of Pregnancy/Infant Loss                Trevor Project (Teen Crisis/Suicide
    seniorlonelinessline.org                                                   briefencounters.org                                                  Prevention for LGBTQ Youth)......866-488-7386
                                                                         First Candle .......................................800-221-7437                thetrevorproject.org
                                                                               Support group for parents who have lost a child to SIDS
                SEXUAL ASSAULT/RAPE                                            firstcandle.org
                                                                                                                                                                     VETERANS/MILITARY
Call to Safety Crisis Line ...............888-235-5333                   Hayden’s Helping Hands
    calltosafety.org                                                           Support/Funds for Stillborn Baby Hospital Bills                      Military Help Line ...........................888-457-4838
                                                                               haydenshelpinghands.com                                                   militaryhelpline.org
Lutheran Community Services NW
  Portland ........................................503-231-7480          Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep .....877-834-5667                               VA Mental Health Services/
  Vancouver ....................................360-694-5624                   Remembrance Photography                                              Vet Combat Call Center ................877-927-8387
    lcsnw.org                                                                  nowilaymedowntosleep.org                                                  vetcenter.va.gov

                       (Trauma Intervention Program NW cannot recommend nor endorse any business. Without their advertising support, this Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.)

    DEALING WITH THE MEDIA
    If you have been involved in an incident of public interest, you       n    Say “NO” to an interview even though you previously                  n    Ask that offensive photographs or visuals be omitted
    may encounter the media. It is important that you know your                 granted interviews.                                                       from airing or publication.
    rights and know that you have a choice regarding sharing the           n    Release a written statement through a spokesperson in                n    Conduct a television interview using a silhouette
    details and/or feelings with the general public. You do not                 lieu of an interview.                                                     or a newspaper interview without having your
    have an obligation to speak with the media, however if you             n    Exclude children from interviews.                                         photograph taken.
    do, you may find the following information helpful.                    n    Refrain from answering any questions with which you are              n    Give your complete side of the story related to
                                                                                uncomfortable or feel are inappropriate.                                  your victimization.
    YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO:                                                 n    Know in advance what direction the story about your                  n    Refrain from answering reporter’s questions
    n   Say “NO” to an interview.                                               victimization is going to take.                                           during trial.
    n   Select the spokesperson or advocate of your choice.                n    Ask for a review of your quotations in a story line prior            n    File a formal complaint against a reporter.
    n   Select the time and location for media interviews.                      to publication.                                                      n    Grieve in privacy.
    n   Request a specific reporter.                                       n    Avoid a press conference atmosphere and speak to only                n    Suggest training about media and victims for print
    n   Refuse an interview with a specific reporter even though                one reporter at a time.                                                   and electronic media in your community.
        you have granted interviews to other reporters.                    n    Demand a retraction when inaccurate information is reported.         n    Be treated with dignity and respect by the media.

8   Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
DEALING WITH STRESS
 CRITICAL INCIDENT STRESS INFORMATION
 You have experienced a traumatic event or a critical incident (any event that causes unusually strong
 emotional reactions that have the potential to interfere with the ability to function normally). Even
 though the event may be over, you may now be experiencing or may experience later, some strong
 emotional or physical reactions. It is very common, in fact quite normal, for people to experience
 emotional aftershocks when they have passed through a horrible event.

 Sometimes the emotional aftershocks (or stress reactions) appear immediately after the traumatic
 event. Sometimes they may appear a few hours or a few days later. And, in some cases, weeks
 or months may pass before the stress reactions appear.

 The signs and symptoms of a stress reaction may last a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or longer,
 depending on the severity of the traumatic event. The understanding and the support of loved ones
 usually causes the stress reactions to pass more quickly. Occasionally, the traumatic event is so painful
 that professional assistance may be necessary. This does not imply craziness or weakness. It simply
 indicates that the particular event was just too powerful for the person to manage by himself/herself.

 Here are some common signs and signals of a stress reaction:

 Physical*                  Cognitive                                Emotional                                Behavioral
 chills                     confusion                                fear                                     withdrawal
 thirst                     nightmares                               guilt                                    antisocial acts
 fatigue                    uncertainty                              grief                                    inability to rest
 nausea                     hyper-vigilance                          panic                                    intensified pacing
 fainting                   suspiciousness                           denial                                   erratic movements
 twitches                   intrusive images                         anxiety                                  change in social
 vomiting                   blaming someone                          agitation                                activity
 dizziness                  poor problem solving                     irritability                             change in speech
 weakness                   poor abstract thinking                   depression                               patterns
 chest pain                 poor attention/decisions                 intense anger                            loss or increase of
 headaches                  poor concentration/                      apprehension                             appetite
 elevated bp                  memory                                 emotional shock                          hyper-alert to
 rapid heart rate           disorientation of time,                  emotional outbursts                      environment
 muscle tremors               place or person                        feeling overwhelmed                      increased alcohol
 shock symptoms             difficulty identifying                   loss of emotional                        consumption
 grinding of teeth            objects or people                      control                                  change in usual
 visual difficulties        heightened or                            inappropriate emotional                  communications
 profuse sweating             lowered alertness                      response                                 etc…
 difficulty breathing       increased or                             etc…
 etc…                         decreased awareness
                              of surroundings
                            etc…

        *Any of these symptoms may indicate the need for medical evaluation.
                         When in doubt, contact a physician.

                        Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM): Group Crisis Intervention, 4th Edition,
                                   June 2006, International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, Inc.

                                                                                Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE   9
DEALING WITH STRESS
     THINGS TO TRY
     n   WITHIN THE FIRST 24-48 HOURS — periods of appropriate physical exercise, alternated with
         relaxation will alleviate some of the physical reactions.
     n   Structure your time; keep busy.
     n   You’re normal and having normal reactions; don’t label yourself crazy.
     n   Talk to people; talk is the most healing medicine.
     n   Be aware of numbing the pain with overuse of drugs or alcohol, you don’t need to complicate this
         with a substance abuse problem.
     n   Reach out; people do care.
     n   Maintain as normal a schedule as possible.
     n   Spend time with others.
     n   Help your co-workers as much as possible by sharing feelings and checking out how they are doing.
     n   Give yourself permission to feel rotten and share your feelings with others.
     n   Keep a journal; write your way through those sleepless hours.
     n   Do things that feel good to you.
     n   Realize those around you are under stress.
     n   Don’t make any big life changes.
     n   Do make as many daily decisions as possible that will give you a feeling of control over your life, i.e.,
         if someone asks you what you want to eat, answer them even if you’re not sure.
     n   Get plenty of rest.
     n   Don’t try to fight reoccurring thoughts, dreams or flashbacks — they are normal and will decrease
         over time and become less painful.
     n   Eat well-balanced and regular meals (even if you don’t feel like it).

     FOR FAMILY MEMBERS & FRIENDS
     n   Listen carefully.
     n   Spend time with the traumatized person.
     n   Offer your assistance and a listening ear if they have not asked for help.
     n   Reassure them that they are safe.
     n   Help them with everyday tasks like cleaning, cooking, caring for the family, minding children.
     n   Give them some private time.
     n   Don’t take their anger or other feelings personally.
     n   Don’t tell them that they are “lucky it wasn’t worse;” a traumatized person is not consoled by those
         statements. Instead, tell them that you are sorry such an event has occurred and you want to
         understand and assist them.

                                    Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM): Group Crisis Intervention, 4th Edition,
                                               June 2006, International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, Inc.

10   Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
CHILDREN & TRAUMA
                                                                Protect your child from repeated news coverage.
  CHILDREN & TRAUMA:
                                                            n

                                                            n   Make it clear to your child that you are ”in
  SUGGESTIONS                                                   control”. It is very frightening and confusing
  FOR PARENTS                                                   for a child to sense that parents themselves are
                                                                disorganized, confused and anxious. If your own
  by Wayne Fortin, Founder and CEO,                             response to the event interferes with your ability
  Trauma Intervention Programs, Inc.                            to care for your child, ask for help! Professionals
  CHILDREN ARE TRAUMATIZED BY A WIDE                            who specialize in working with traumatized
  variety of events which include but are not                   children can be very helpful.
  limited to: natural disasters, crime, auto accidents,
  serious illness, community violence, hostage              For more assistance,
  situations, violence in the home and the death            please call 503-823-3937.
  of a parent or loved one.

  Parents play a vital role in their child’s successful
  recovery from a traumatic event. Following are
  ways parents can help their child following a
  traumatic event:                                          EFFECTIVE WAYS OF
                                                            COPING AFTER A
  n   Reassure your child that he/she will be taken care
      of, loved and cherished just as they were before
                                                            TRAUMATIC EVENT
      the traumatic event.
  n   Nurture your child. Children who have been            1. Accept the fact that you have been a victim and
      traumatized need physical contact. Cuddling,             accept the feelings that result. Remember: others
      rocking, massaging and reading quietly help              may not validate your feelings. In fact, they may
      relieve stress and anxiety.                              minimize your experience: “You were only a
  n   Pay special attention at bedtime. Nighttime is           witness”, or “You were really lucky”, or ”It has been
      particularly difficult for traumatized children. It      two weeks! Why are you still bothered?”
      may help to read to your child, rub their back,
      play music and leave a light on.                      2. Accept all the feelings you are having as normal
  n   Encourage your child to tell his/her story.             reactions to an extraordinary event. You are not
      Your child may need to tell their story repeatedly.     “crazy”. You are reacting normally to a “crazy”
      Listen attentively and allow your child to              event. Be patient with yourself. It takes time to
      talk about the traumatic experience at his/her          recover emotionally from a traumatic event.
      own pace.
  n   Provide physical outlets. Your child may have         3. Combat any guilt you might have by:
      pent up anger/energy in their body. Provide              n  Accepting it as normal.
      appropriate, fun and physical activities for             n  Talking to others about your role or their role
      your child.                                                 in the event. You are probably not alone in
  n   Give your child choices and help him/her                    your reaction to this event.
      develop a sense of control.                              n  Realizing you were a victim and are not a
  n   Provide consistent, predictable patterns for your           trained rescuer.
      child. If something new is about to happen,              n  Recognizing what you “did right”!
      explain to your child before hand what they              n  Recognizing the extenuating circumstances
      can expect.                                                 related to the event — the suddenness, the
  n   Be tolerant and patient. No set timetable exists            dangers, etc.
      for the recovery of children. Some recover
      quickly and others may take more time. Don’t          4. Don’t revert to “bad habits” (alcohol, drugs,
      compare your child to other children who have            overeating) to cope. They will only make
      experienced the same event.                              matters worse.

                                                                       Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE   11
EFFECTIVE WAYS OF COPING continued...
          5. Maintain normalcy. Go about your daily routines      n   Maintain as normal a schedule as possible.
            and ”take care of business.”                          n   Eat well-balanced and regular meals. (Even if
                                                                      you don’t feel like it!)
          6. Attempt to understand what happened by               n   Try to keep a reasonable level of activity.
            getting the facts.                                    n   Fight against boredom.
                                                                  n   Physical activity is often helpful.
          7. Ventilate. TALK and write about the event.           n   Reestablish a normal schedule as soon
                                                                      as possible.
          8. Thank those who helped you and apologize to          n   Express your feelings as they arise.
            those you hurt during and since the tragic event.
                                                                  n   Talk to people who love you.
          9. Help each other.
                                                                  n   Find a good counselor if the feelings become
             n  Reach out to those who are                            prolonged or too intense.
                particularly traumatized.
                                                                FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY
             n  Respect each other’s ways of coping.
                                                                  n  Listen carefully!
             n  Don’t victimize each other by judging other’s
                individual coping style. Let the “grievers”
                                                                  n  Spend time with the traumatized person.
                grieve and allow the “doers” to do.
                                                                  n  Offer your assistance and a listening ear even
                                                                     if they have not asked for your help.
          10. Decide as a group how you want to help:             n  Reassure them that they are safe.
            n   The victim                                        n  Help with everyday tasks like cleaning,
            n   The family                                           cooking, caring for the family and minding
            n   Each other                                           the children.
                                                                  n  Give them some private time.
          10. If a death has occurred:                            n  Don’t take their anger or other
            n     Implement or participate in a “saying              feelings personally.
                  goodbye” ritual                                 n  Don’t tell them that they are “lucky it wasn’t
            n     Attend services                                    worse” — traumatized people are not
            n     Contribute to a memorial fund                      consoled by those kinds of statements.
                                                                     Instead, tell them that you are so sorry this
            n     Establish a memorial on scene
                                                                     event has occurred and you would like to
            n     Wear a symbol on clothing
                                                                     understand and assist them.
          HELPFUL HINTS                                         If you find that you are still suffering severe
          Some of the following ideas might help you or         symptoms (sufficient to disrupt any of your
          others alleviate some of the aftershocks of a         normal functioning) after six weeks, professional
          traumatic event.                                      counseling may be indicated.
          FOR YOURSELF                                          Contact your employee assistance program,
            n  Try to rest a bit more                           physician, or a mental health professional in
            n  Contact a friend                                 your community for a referral to a therapist who
            n  Have someone stay with you for at least a        specializes in this kind of work.
               few hours or periods of time for a day or two.
            n  Recurring thoughts, nightmares and
               flashbacks are normal — don’t try and fight
               them. They will decrease over time and
               become less painful.

                   Additional Resources can be obtained at www.sesamestreet.org/grief

12   Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
WHEN TRAGEDY STRIKES

  10 THINGS TO DO AND NOT TO DO
  All of us face dilemmas when something bad happens to someone we know. Many times we
  inadvertently say the wrong thing and increase the hurt they’re already feeling. Or, we don’t do or say
  anything for fear that we’ll be in the way. So here’s a practical list of 10 do’s and don’ts when it comes
  to helping someone who’s just experienced a death or trauma.
  1.   DO listen. As a rule, if you’re talking more than they are, you’re not being helpful.
  2.   DON’T tell your story. It’s not about you. “When my father died ...” language isn’t helpful. Don’t try
       and relate your pain — that’s essentially emotional theft. No matter how similar your story is, it’s
       not theirs. Their experience is different and happening right now. Let the focus be on them.
  3.   DO send a note. It may seem insignificant to you, but a thoughtful, short, handwritten note can
       mean the world to someone in a particular kind of hell. Even if it’s months after the death, that note
       will mean a lot.
  4.   DON’T use platitudes like, “It was God’s will,” or “She’s in God’s hands now,” or “At least he had a good
       life,” or “You can have other children,” Such loss is devastating and so are the mental wounds from
       such mindless platitudes. Discounting statements like “at least ...” hurt because nothing is going
       to make this situation okay. Instead, simply acknowledge the loss and express your sadness at the
       pain they are going through.
  5.   DON’T be vague. “Call me if there’s anything I can do” is practically useless. They’re not going to call;
       they’re too overwhelmed and too upset to even remember the offer. To someone in the immediacy
       of a trauma, the phone weighs 2,000 pounds and is simply too heavy to pick up for any reason,
       including asking for help.
  6.   DO be specific. Tell your friend; “I’m cooking dinner at your house on Thursday at 6 p.m.” The smells
       of cooking can be extremely comforting and calming. Offer to pick up friends or relatives from the
       airport. Take the kids to school or babysit after school. Vacuum their house. Take their trash to the
       curb on trash day. Imagine what you would least like to do in their situation — then volunteer to do
       it for them.
  7.   DON’T bring by a lasagna. People under extreme duress do not eat meals, they snack. Bring fresh
       fruit, vegetables, cheese and crackers — foods that you can eat with your fingers that don’t require
       cooking or clean up. Stress shuts down the digestive system. Heavy meals that require prep and
       clean up just add to the stress.
  8.   DO bring essentials. The three things that people most need immediately after a death or trauma
       are tissues, bottled water, and toilet paper. As family members, friends, and neighbors arrive they
       all need tissues and water. Water bottles eliminate the need for cups and clean up. More people
       means more bathroom visits so the need for more toilet paper becomes essential.
  9.   DO be human. If you see this person at the grocery store, don’t duck behind the soup display
       because you can’t think of anything to say. This just makes the person feel alienated and lonely.
       Acknowledge what happened by saying something like, “I’m so sorry this happened.” You don’t
       have to save them or provide a counseling session. They might want to talk, they might not. Your
       lack of comfort will only make them feel more alienated. A simple hug goes a long way.
  10. DON’T judge. No matter what your feelings about the situation, use neutral language, “I remember
      Mike’s smile. He was also so helpful to us. I’m sorry. How are you doing?” In fact, a simple “How
      are you doing?” can go a long way. These situations are uncomfortable — for everyone. But with a
      little thought we can avoid increasing the hurt and even help when the worst happens to people
      we know.

   For more information on how to help visit www.whentragedystrikes.org

                                                                        Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE   13
Southwest Washington
                                                                                                        CRISIS LINE
                                                                                                        Having an urgent mental health or
                                                                                                        substance use need? Give us a call. Free
                                                                                                        and available 24/7.

                                                                                                        (800) 626-8137 | TTY: (866) 835-2755

                                                                                                        wa.beaconhealthoptions.com

                                                                                                        Text HOME to 741741 to access the National Crisis Text Line.

               (Trauma Intervention Program NW cannot recommend nor endorse any business. Without their advertising support, this Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.)

14   Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
UNDERSTANDING AND
       COPING
         F IRE ∘WITH YOUR ∘GRIEF
                I NDUSTRY   R ESTORATION ∘ E XPERTS
       Most people find the loss of a loved one the most                                               also. It is very important that you include, not
       intense and difficult experience of their lives. To lose                                        exclude, others in mourning your loss.
       someone is a universal experience. To mourn is a
       universal emotion, yet many people, both members in                                             A fourth common error is an attempt to escape
       the helping profession and the bereaved themselves,                                             the pain of loss by making even more changes in
       are confused about the nature of mourning. Many of                                              their lives; selling the house, changing jobs, going
       those who grieve try to hide their sorrow. Many in our                                          on long trips. All of these may be appropriate
       culture believe that mourning should be suppressed.                                             in time; not when we mourn. Like our shadows,
       We now know that to suppress our sorrow; to thwart                                              our feelings of sorrow cannot be run away from.
       the mourning process, further disorients us and makes                                           Buying binges...radical changes in living habits...
       us more at risk for both emotional and physical illness.                                        taking flight from our routines of care...these are
                                                                                                       but a few examples of how we can erroneously
       If you are newly bereaved, you may find it very difficult                                       try to avoid sorrow. What is important for you is
       to concentrate on what you are reading, and that is                                             to make as few changes in your circumstances
       perfectly normal. We will discuss specific topics in                                            of living as possible. While there will be many
       depth to be used when it’s not so difficult to think.                                           changes you cannot avoid, postpone as many as
       Let me mention some errors many mourners make.                                                  you can.

       THE MOST COMMON ERRORS                                             A fifth common error of mourners is to ignore
       The most common errors made by mourners usually                    their own health. For some, it seems to be going
       begin with the people believing that mourning should               to the extreme of feeling the best way of honoring
       be over in a short period. We know, on the basis of                the dead is to die with them. For others, it is to
       specific polls, for example, that a majority of the                abandon self-esteem. Whatever your reason, you
       people believe mourning should be over in 48 hours                 need to care for your own health.
                                   Y   o   u  r   R    e
       to two weeks. THIS ASSUMPTION IS FALSE. Loss of yours   t o  r a t i o n E xp e r ts
       loved one will have a measurable and visible impact                Taken from video tapes by Dr. Glen Davidson, Ph.D.,
       on you well beyond a year’s time.                   24-HOand        Uproduced
                                                                               R              by Twenty-Twenty media,
                                                                          a subsidiary of Dodge Chemical Compny,
       A second common error       EisM     Emany
                                         that  RG        E NC Y R
                                                     people                   ES P
                                                                          Cambridge,         ONSE
                                                                                          Massachusetts.
       believe that they can suppress their sorrows, at least
                 24-HOUR SERVICES                                 | 24-HOUR EMERGENCY CONTACTS S
       to other people’s eyes. They try to use alcohol or
       tranquilizing●drugs
                        B oa   orrmagical
                                  d U p thinking to suppress                 Greg Philo | 503-317-3295
       their emotions. They inevitably fail. Our emotions
                    ● Shorare
       and their expressions      in gtheSonly
                                           tabmeans
                                                ilizatwe iohave
                                                              n to                                        Southwest Washington
       reorient ourselves after major change in our lives. It
       is important● forTyour
                          reeemotional,
                                   Rem ovphysical
                                              al       health to                Office | 503-305-7285     CRISIS LINE
       express emotions
                    ● Tein    mnon-destructive
                                 p Fence ways. One of the                          Fax
       most effective ways of recovering from sorrow is to                  Having       an |urgent
                                                                                                503-305-7284
                                                                                                           mental health or
       cry. Whether●you Elareecatrman
                                   icaor   aa
                                         l S woman,
                                              fe -Ofto  f cry seems         substance use need? Give us a call. Free
       to be necessary for your health. To cry with others who               Simple.
                                                                            and   available    Affordable.
                                                                                                  24/7.                      Caring.
                    ●   F  i r e  S c e n e  P r o t
       grieve makes the task of reorientation easier.e c t i o n                  F
                                                                               We’ve  I R
                                                                                      been  E  X   P
                                                                                            committed   E
                                                                                                        to  R    T
                                                                                                           serving   S   .
                                                                                                                     Clark n  etfamilies
                                                                                                                           County
                                                                                  with professional, compassionate care since 1993.
                                                                            (800)      626-8137 | TTY: (866) 835-2755
                                                                                  Call today speak with a dedicated associate 24/7.
       A third common error of mourners is to try to make
       their sorrow a private matter. A famous poet, John                   wa.beaconhealthoptions.comDavies
       Donne, wasFind
                    quiteus     on Facebook
                             correct  when he wrote,  ●”Nowww.facebook.com/pages/fire-restoration
                                                               man is                        CREMATION & BURIAL SERVICES
                                                                                        301 E McLoughlin Blvd., Ste. E | Vancouver
       an island unto himself.” No matter how overwhelmed,                  Text HOME to 741741 to access the National Crisis Text Line.
                                                                                                     360-693-1036
       lonely or impotent you feel, your loss is other’s loss

                (Trauma
            (Trauma     Intervention Program
                      Intervention   Program NWofcannot recommend nor endorse
                                                  Portland/Vancouver          any business.
                                                                        Inc. cannot         Without their
                                                                                      recommend      nor advertising
                                                                                                          endorse anysupport, this Citizen
                                                                                                                         business.         Resource
                                                                                                                                        Without     Guide
                                                                                                                                                 their    would not be
                                                                                                                                                       advertising     possible.)this
                                                                                                                                                                     support,
            Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.)

14   Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE                                                          Trauma Intervention
                                                                                                       TIP of Portland/Vancouver        Program
                                                                                                                                   CITIZEN      NW CITIZEN
                                                                                                                                             RESOURCE   GUIDE  14
                                                                                                                                                           RESOURCE GUIDE               17
                                                                                                                                                                                        15
COPING WITH SUICIDE AS A FAMILY
          It is important to sit down together to talk, cry, feel rage, guilt and even be silent.

          Communication is the key to survival in the aftermath of suicide. At the same time, there should be
          respect for each person’s individual way of handling grief. Some family members will grieve privately,
          others openly, and others a combination of these two styles. In many ways, each family member must
          grieve alone. Here are some suggestions to help with family grief.

          Pay attention to your family members when you are with them. Let them know that you love them. Be
          sensitive to how other family members feel. Listen to what is meant as well as what is being said. Accept
          the other person and what they say.

          Don’t give each other the silent treatment. This has many negative effects. Sit back and listen. Let other
          family members have an opportunity to talk. Be sure to hug and touch each other at every opportunity.
          Recognize that anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays will be difficult for each member of the family.

          Remember, you can’t help anyone if you’re falling apart. Do what you can do for yourself – and get help
          for what you can’t do. If depression, grief, or problems in your family are getting out of control, seek the
          advice of a counselor.

          Studies show that a bereaved person’s self-esteem is extremely low. Survivors should work on their image
          of themselves, and to help each family member to think and feel good about them.

          If there is a suicide note, discuss as a family what to do with it. If you think it will only bring you pain, then
          have a private burning and commit its contents to God or a higher power.

          www.afsp.org

                                     CLICHES – WHAT NOT TO SAY
              Well-meaning people who don’t know what to say often use cliches. Sometimes they cause
              more aggravation than comfort. Here are a few that shouldn’t be said in time of grief:

               n   I know how you feel                       n   I just don’t know how you     n   You will/can have
                                                                 are so strong                     another child
               n   Calm down
                                                             n   I don’t know what I would     n   You have other children
               n   It will be better tomorrow
                                                                 have done if it had been me   n   It’s time to get on with
               n   It’s God’s will
                                                             n   Don’t cry, it’s ok                your life
               n   They are better off
                                                             n   You don’t want to do that     n   Life goes on
               n   They’re happier in heaven
                                                             n   Don’t feel                    n   It is divine to forgive
               n   You will get married again
                                                             n   They will never hurt again    n   Call me if you need me
               n   Time heals all wounds
                                                             n   Had they lived, they would
               n   It was part of God’s plan                     never be the same

16   Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE
You can also read