www.tipnw.org - Citizen Resource Guide Citizens Helping Citizens in Crisis - Trauma Intervention Program
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Citizens Helping
Citizens in Crisis
503.940.7997
24 Hour Number
Citizen Resource Guide
4800 NE 122nd Avenue
2020 - 2021 Portland, OR 97230
Volume 14 Office 503.823.3937
www.tipnw.orgIMPORTANT INFORMATION
24-Hour Number
503.940.7997
Key in your return phone number or leave a
voice message for an immediate call back.
TIP Volunteer(s)_________________________________________________________________
Agencies Involved ______________________________________________________________
Important Phone Numbers _________________________ ___________________________
_________________________ ___________________________
_________________________ ___________________________
_________________________ ___________________________
Notes _________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
You Matter to Us
What is TIP? We’d like to hear from you.
Trauma Intervention Program (TIP) is a group of specially trained
and thoroughly-screened citizen volunteers who provide emotional Please visit us online to give
and practical support to survivors of traumatic events and their feedback, ask questions
families in the first few hours following a tragedy. TIP Volunteers or get more resources.
are called through the emergency response system — by police,
firefighters and hospital personnel. www.tipnw.org
TIP is a national non-profit, tax-exempt organization. Services
are provided to survivors and their families free of charge and are
made possible by donations from local government, businesses TIP Northwest
and individuals.
Trauma Intervention Program NW was founded in 1992. 180 local TIPNW
volunteers are available to respond immediately to crisis situations
on a 24-hour, 365 days-a-year basis.
TIPNW
2 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDETABLE OF CONTENTS: RESOURCES AND ARTICLES
What is TIP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Understanding & Coping with Grief . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Contact TIP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Developmental Stages of Traumatized Children . . 18
Crisis Lines . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Talking with Traumatized Children . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
Dougy Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Checklist Following a Death . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
Community Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 – 8 Dealing with Tragedy in Workplace Checklist . . . . 21
Dealing with Media . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Medication Disposal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Common Signs and Signals of Stress . . . . . . . . . 9 ABC’s of Disposition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Things to Try After a Death . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Things to Consider . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
Children & Trauma Suggestions for Parents . . . 11 Required Information for Death Certificate . . . 25 – 26
Effective Ways of Coping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11–12 General Information in Oregon & Washington . . . 27
10 Things to Do and Not Do . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Listing of Funeral Homes in Multnomah,
Coping with Suicide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Clackamas and Clark Counties . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 – 30
Clichés - What Not to Say . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Memorial Contributions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
The biggest funeral regret
Mom’s funeral was A new way to arrange a funeral
Great-Goodbyes.com was formed to inspire and
generic and ordinary, not at encourage the creation of wonderful funerals. To equip
all a true reflection of her life. people with the knowledge and skills to plan unique
We all felt empty afterwards. farewells for the people they love.
Great Goodbyes is a portal
It’s hard enough losing someone you love. It’s worse when • To find the right funeral home
the way you say goodbye is ordinary. Generic. Templated. • To connect you with a wide range of creative suppliers
• To enable you to quickly compare prices and offerings
That’s not how you wanted it to go, but there seemed so
in private and without any pressure
few options for creative expression and personal touches.
• To understand the full range of creative options that are
So in the end, the whole thing followed a formula, and
legally available to you (the venue possibilities alone will
looked like every other funeral farewell that had used the
surprise you).
same template.
But your mom wasn’t a template. Don’t let your goodbye be ordinary
We get one chance to say goodbye to the ones we love.
Nor was your son. Or husband. Friend. Wife. Mate.
Great-goodbyes.com
Uncle...They were one-of-a-kind people and should have
will help you make your
been farewelled in a way that reflected that truth. It should
farewell extraordinary.
have been different then. It can be different now.
Go to great-goodbyes.com
(Trauma Intervention Program NW cannot recommend nor endorse any business. Without their advertising support, this Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.)
Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 3CRISIS L!NES 24/7 SUPPORT/HELP
WHEN YOU NEED IT
CLACKAMAS COUNTY WASHINGTON COUNTY
503-655-8585 503-291-9111
24-7 crisis and support line 24/7 help for people experiencing a mental health crisis.
https://www.clackamas.us/behavioralhealth Interpreters provided
https://www.co.washington.or.us/HHS/MentalHealth/index.cfm
CLARK COUNTY
800-626-8137 MILITARY CRISIS LINE
Behavioral health crisis services are available 24/7 888-457-4838
https://www.clark.wa.gov/community-services/ Press 1, or access online chat by texting 838255.
clark-county-crisis-services https://www.militaryonesource.mil/health-wellness/
mental-health/suicide
MULTNOMAH COUNTY
503-988-4888 LINES FOR LIFE
24/7 crisis counseling by phone, with translation Call 800-273-8255
services for non-English speakers. 24/7 365 days a year
https://multco.us/mhas/mental-health-services https://www.linesforlife.org/
SKAMANIA COUNTY
Mental Health and Public Health / 24 Hour Crisis Line If you do not know which county you are in,
509-427-3850
http://www.skamaniacounty.org/
please call any crisis line number
community-health/homepage/mental-health/ and they will assist you.
The right place when In our community, 1 in 17 children
nothing feels right. will have a parent or sibling die before
they turn 18. Dougy Center serves
these children, teens, young adults, and
their adult family members through
peer grief support groups in the
Portland Metro area, including through
virtual groups during the pandemic.
Dougy Center also provides resources
and training world-wide to schools,
organizations, and individuals seeking
to assist children in grief.
Dougy Center’s services are
completely free for families. We we
rely on the generousity of individuals,
businesses, and foundations to
support our programs.
Dougy Center | 503.775.5683 | dougy.org | help@dougy.org
(Trauma Intervention Program NW cannot recommend nor endorse any business. Without their advertising support, this Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.)
4 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDECOMMUNITY SERVICES
ADOLESCENTS Dougy Center for
Narcotics Anonymous ..................503-345-9839 Grieving Children ...........................503-775-5683
na.org Toll-free ..............................................866-775-5683
Angels In The Outfield ..................503-313-8122 Bereavement support and counseling for children
Helping 18 and younger impacted by crime or abuse
Lifeline Connections
for Clark County ..............................360-397-8246 dougy.org
www.theangelsintheoutfield.org
lifelineconnections.org First Candle Grief
Children’s Home Society Support Line.....................................800-221-7437
of Washington/Vancouver Lines for Life -
Alcohol and Drug Help .................800-273-8255 Support group for parents who have lost a child to SIDS
Family Resource Center ................360-695-1325 firstcandle.org
or text “273TALK” to 839863
www.childrenshomesociety.org/home
linesforlife.org Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep .....877-834-5667
Clackamas County and ..................................................720-283-3339
Juvenile Department ....................503-655-8342 National Helpline............. 800-662-HELP (4357)
Remembrance Photography
www.clackamas.us/juvenile nowilaymedowntosleep.org
Clark County ANIMAL ASSISTANCE Parents of Murdered Children ...503-656-8039
Juvenile Department ....................360-397-2201 Bereavement support and counseling for children
www.clark.wa.gov/juvenile-court/juvenile-court- Animal Aid ........................................503-292-6628 pomc.org
contact-information animalaidpdx.org
Bonnie L. Hays Animal Shelter ...503-846-7041 Precious Moments .........................360-696-5120
Harry’s Mother ... 503-233-8111/800-914-9706 co.washington.or.us/HHS/AnimalServices/ Miscarriage, stillborn and newborn death
Shelter for 9-17 year olds and Crisis Intervention peacehealth.org/sites/default/files/Documents/..............
janusyouth.org Clackamas County Bereavement-Brochure.pdf
Animal Control ................................503-655-8628
Homeless Youth Services .............503-233-6090 clackamas.us/dogs/ Sesame Street Bereavement
janusyouth.org/programs/homeless-youth www.sesamestreet.org/grief
Critter Gitter .....................................503-253-5584
Insights Teen Parent Program ....503-239-6996 Stepping Stones/Hope
insightstpp.org/programs Dignified Pet Services/Tigard.....503-885-2211 Bereavement Services ..................360-696-5120
Milwaukie ..........................................503-783-6115 Support and counseling
Lines for Life .....................................877-968-8491 dignifiedpetservices.com peacehealth.org/southwest/services/hospice/ .................
Multnomah County Juvenile Dove Lewis Emergency bereavement-services/
Services Division .............................503-988-3460 Animal Hospital...............................503-228-7281
multco.us/dcj-juvenile
Survivors of Suicide Support
dovelewis.org Group Portland................................503-200-0382
National Runaway Safeline .........800-786-2929 House Of Dreams - www.sbsnw.org
1800runaway.org No Kill Cat Shelter ...........................503-262-0763 Victims of Violent Crime
kittydreams.org and their Families & Friends ......855-484-2846
Porch Light Street
Light Youth Services ......................503-432-3986 Meowhaus Cat Boarding victimsupportservices.org
SMYRC - Sexual & Gender Minority and Assistance ............................... 503-281-0222
meowhaus.biz BOARD UP/RESTORATION
Youth Resource Center .................503-872-9664
pdxqcenter.org and www.smyrc.org Multnomah County
Trevor Project - Animal Services ...............................503-988-7387 1-800-Board-Up ..............................800-262-7387
multcopets.org 1-800boardup.com
Teen Suicide Prevention ..............866-488-7386
thetrevorproject.org Oregon Humane Society .............503-285-7722 BELFOR ...............................................503-408-8880
oregonhumane.org
24/7 Emergency Number .......800-856-3333
Youthera - belfor.com
Clackamas County Drop ..............971-334-9295 Dove Lewis (24-hours/
www.youthera.org Pet Loss Groups) .............................503-234-2061 Cornerstone Disaster Repair .........503-295-0108
cornerstonerepair.com
dovelewis.org
Youthline (Lines for Life) ..............877-968-8491
or text “teen2teen” to 839863 Second Chance Companions .....360-687-4569 F.I.R.E - Fire Industry
Call for information. Online chat is available at ................ sccpets.com
Restoration Experts .......................503-305-7285
OregonYouthline.org firexperts.net
SW Wash. Humane Society .........360-693-4746
southwesthumane.org ServPro of Clark County ................360-254-0049
ALCOHOL/DRUGS servproevancouverclarkco.com
BEREAVEMENT ServPro of Gresham,
Al-anon Information Oregon City and Sandy .................503-665-7752
(Portland)...........................................503-292-1333 servprogresham.com
Al-anon Information Many bereavement groups can be found
(Vancouver) ......................................360-693-5781 at local churches and hospitals.
Community Home Health BODY & ANATOMICAL DONATION
Al-anon/Al-ateen
Information Service .......................888-425-2666 and Hospice......................................360-253-4626
al-anonportlandoregon.org Grief Support Services ..................360-703-0300 Educational Body Donation........503-404-4114
chhh.org educationalbodydonation.org
Alcohol and Drug Hotline ...........503-244-1312
Toll Free .........................................800-923-4357 Brief Encounters OHSU Body
Message Phone ..........................503-699-8006 Donation Program .........................503-494-8302
Alcoholics Anonymous Miscarriage, stillborn and newborn death ohsu.edu/body-donation
Portland ........................................503-223-8569 briefencounters.org
Vancouver ....................................360-694-3870 Medcure - Body Donation
aa.org Compassionate Friends ................877-969-0010 for Medical Research .....................866-560-2525
and ..................................................503-307-8450 medcure.org
Cocaine Anonymous .....................503-256-1666 For parents who have lost a child of any age,
caorwa.org for any reason
Science Care -
compassionatefriends.org
Whole Body Donation ..................800-417-3747
Families Anonymous .....................800-736-9805 sciencecare.com
familiesanonymous.org
Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 5COMMUNITY SERVICES
Neighborhood House ...................503-246-1663 Lifeline Connections
CHILDREN/YOUTH RESOURCES County youth and family service center, serves all of ..... Wellness Center...............................360-205-1222
West Multnomah County lifelineconnections.org
CARES NW .........................................503-276-9000 nhpdx.org
Multidisciplinary prevention, medical evaluation, Multnomah County Crisis Line ..503-988-4888
and ongoing treatment of child abuse and neglect Northwest Family Services ..........503-546-6377
Programs for youth, counseling, couples classes, National Alliance on
caresnw.org
parenting, money management, job readiness/placement Mental Illness (NAMI) ....................800-950-6264
Child Abuse Hotline.......................800-422-4453 nwfs.org
Oregon Child Abuse Hotline ......855-503-7233
childhelp.org
Peer and Family Support Services Project Respond..............................503-988-4888
Child Protective (Clackamas County) .......................503-655-8585
Services - Oregon ...........................503-731-3100 clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/support.html Rainier Springs Mental
Health Services ................................360-869-0144
Child Protective Street Roots rainiersprings.com
Services - Washington ..................888-713-6115 Comprehensive list of services for people experiencing
homelessness and poverty in Clackamas, Multnomah Suicide Crisis Line
Dougy Center for and Washington counties of Clark County................................800-626-8137
Grieving Children ...........................503-775-5683 rosecityresource.streetroots.org
dougy.org Wash. County Crisis Line ..............503-291-9111
Oregon Youthline ...........................877-968-8491 COMMUNITY SUPPORT Washington State Dept. of
or text “teen2teen” to 839863 Children, Youth and Families ......888-713-6115
OregonYouthline.org
CaringBridge Youth Mobile Crisis Intervention -
Stepping Stones/Hope caringbridge.org Clark County (Catholic
Bereavement Services ..................360-696-5120 Community Services) ....................360-567-2211
Support and counseling Catholic Community Services ....360-567-2211
ccsww.org/get-help/child-youth-family-services
peacehealth.org/southwest/bereavement-services ccsww.org
Household Item Pick Up
Youth Hotline ...................................503-224-4339 www.pickupplease.org DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Support and resources for foster, at-risk, and homeless
youth aged 14-24 Lotsa Helping Hands Clackamas Women’s Services .....888-654-2288
newavenues.org Email................info@lotsahelpinghands.com cwsor.org
lotsahelpinghands.com/about-us/
Gateway Center
CLEAN UP/BIO-HAZARD Meal Train (Domestic Violence).......................503-988-6400
mealtrain.com
portlandoregon.gov/gatewaycenter/
BioManagement NW ..................... 855-206-6906 Spoonful of Comfort - Get Well Packages
bionw.com Men’s Resource Center .................503-235-3433
spoonfulofcomfort.com
portlandmrc.com
Heartbeat Medical & Safety ........503-544-2650
National Domestic
Rapid Response Bioclean ............503-477-8765 CRIME VICTIM SERVICES, ASSISTANCE & Violence Hotline................800-799-SAFE (7233)
rapidresponsebioclean.com RESTRAINING ORDER INFORMATION thehotline.org
ServPro of Clark County ................360-254-0049 Call to Safety Crisis Line ...............888-235-5333
servproevancouverclarkco.com Clackamas County Victim calltosafety.org
ServPro of Gresham, Assistance Program .......................503-655-8616 Raphael House
Oregon City and Sandy .................503-665-7752 clackamas.us/da/victimassist.html
(collect calls ok) ...............................503-222-6222
servprogresham.com Clark County raphaelhouse.com
STOP Oregon....................................503-966-4131 Victim Assistance ............................564-397-2261 SafeChoice Women’s Shelter
clark.wa.gov/prosecuting-attorney/victim-assistance
stoprestoration.com/portland (YWCA Vancouver) .........................360-695-0501
Legal Aid/Family Law ....................503-224-4086 Toll-free ..............................................800-695-0167
COMMUNITY RESOURCES Lutheran Community Services NW Washington County Domestic
(Portland/Vancouver - Crime Victim Advocates) Violence Resource Center/
Portland ........................................503-924-2448 Crisis Line...........................................503-469-8620
Catholic Charities ...........................503-231-4866 dvrc-or.org
catholiccharitiesoregon.org/
Vancouver ....................................360-694-5624
Washington State Coalition Against
Clackamas County Urgent Domestic Violence WSCADV ......206-389-2515
Mental Health Walk-in Clinic ......503-655-8585 CRISIS SERVICES
wscadv.org
Crisis services available to anyone living in Clackamas
County, regardless of ability to pay or insurance plan Adult Mobile Crisis Intervention - West Women & Children’s Shelter
11211 SE 82nd Ave, Suite O, Happy Valley, OR Clark County (Community (Salvation Army) .............................503-731-3900
clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/urgentmentalhealth Services NW) ....................................800-626-8137 westwomens.salvationarmy.org
Catholic Community Services ....360-567-2211 Call to Safety Crisis Line ...............888-235-5333 YWCA Vancouver ............................360-696-0167
Resources and support for sheltering, housing and calltosafety.org ywcaclarkcounty.org
homelessness; families and youth services; immigrants
and refugees; seniors; mental health and addiction
Clackamas County Mental YWCA Portland................................503-294-7400
and recovery
Health Crisis Line ............................503-655-8585 ywcapdx.org
ccsww.org Clackamas County Urgent
Oregon Dept. of Mental Health Walk-in Clinic ......503-655-8585 EMERGENCY SUPPLIES
clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/urgentmentalhealth
Human Services ..............................503-945-5600
oregon.gov/dhs Clark County Crisis Line ................800-626-8137 American Red Cross - Portland ..503-284-1234
Friendly House.................................503-228-4391 La Linea de Crisis ............................503-232-4448 American Red Cross -
Non-profit community center and social services agency Additional Portland Line .........503-291-9111 SW Washington ...............................360-693-5821
friendlyhouseinc.org
6 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDECOMMUNITY SERVICES
Francis Center ..................................503-775-6784 Providence Milwaukie ..................503-513-8300 Human Services Council ..............360-694-6577
Serves area north of Powell from 60th to 82nd 10150 SE 32nd Avenue, Milwaukie hsc-wa.org
and south of Powell from 39th to 136th
Provides emergency clothing and food Providence St. Vincent Multnomah County
www.franciscenterpdx.org Medical Center ................................503-216-1234 NAMI (Portland) ..............................800-950-6264
9205 SW Barnes Road, Portland nami.org
Mainspring Portland
(Fish Emergency Services ............503-233-5533 Providence Willamette Falls ..........503-656-1631 Multnomah County Mental
mainspringpdx.org 1500 Division Street, Oregon City Health Call Center ..........................503-988-4888
St. Vincent DePaul National Alliance on
Portland ........................................503-235-8431 LEGAL Mental Illness (NAMI) ....................800-950-6264
svdppdx.org nami.org
Vancouver ....................................360-694-5388 Clark County Volunteer Oregon Psychological
svdpvancouverusa.com Lawyers Program ............................360-695-5313 Association Referral .......................800-541-9798
ccvlp.org opa.org
Salvation Army
Portland ........................................971-340-4010 Disability Rights Oregon ..............503-243-2081 Providence Behavioral
portland.salvationarmy.org droregon.org Health Services ................................503-215-7080
Vancouver ....................................360-892-9050
vancouver.salvationarmy.org Legal Aid Services of Oregon .....503-224-4086 Unity Center
Serving both Multnomah and Clackamas County for Behavioral Health ....................503-944-7102
SnowCap ...........................................503-674-8785 lasoregon.org unityhealthcenter.org
Provides clothing and emergency food.
Fire - Support Services Oregon Elder Law ...........................503-284-6778
snowcap.org oregonelderlaw.com ONLINE FUNERAL SERVICES
Oregon Law Center........................503-981-0336
oregonlawcenter.org Great Goodbyes
HIV/AIDS www.great-goodbyes.com
Cascade AIDS Project LGBTQIA
(Portland)...........................................503-223-5907 POLICE
cascadeaids.org
Friendly House.................................503-228-4391
Cascade AIDS Project friendlyhouseinc.org Emergency ............................................. 911
(Clark County) ..................................360-750-7964 Metropolitan Community Church Camas Police Department ..........360-834-4151
cascadeaids.org
(MCC) ..................................................503-281-8868
mccportland.com Clackamas County
Partnership Project ........................503-230-1202 Sheriff’s Office ..................................503-655-8211
Q Center .............................................503-234-7837
pdxqcenter.org Clark County
HOSPITALS Sheriff’s Office ..................................360-397-2211
SAGE (Services and Advocacy
Doernbecher for LGBT Elders) ...............................503-224-2640 Gresham Police Department...........503-618-2318
Children’s Hospital .........................503-346-0640 Lake Oswego ....................................503-635-0238
700 SW Campus Drive, Portland
Sexual and Gender Minority Youth
Resource Center (SMYRC)............503-872-9664 Multnomah County
Emanuel and Randall smyrc.org Sheriff’s Office ..................................503-988-4300
Children’s Hospital .........................503-276-6500
2801 N. Gantenbein Street, Portland Portland Police
MEDICAL EXAMINER Central Precinct ...............................503-823-0097
Kaiser Sunnyside.............................503-256-0556
10180 SE Sunnyside Road, Clackamas Portland Police East Precinct ......503-823-4800
Clackamas County ME Office .....503-655-8380
Legacy Good Samaritan ...............503-413-7711 Portland Police North Precinct ..503-823-5700
Clark County ME Office.................564-397-8405
1015 NW 22nd, Portland
Troutdale Police ..............................503-665-6129
Multnomah County ME Office ...503-988-0055
Legacy Salmon Creek....................360-487-1000 Vancouver Police East Precinct ..360-487-7500
2211 NE 139th St., Vancouver Washington County ME Office ..503-846-3575
Vancouver Police
Legacy Meridian Park West Precinct ...................................360-487-7355
Medical Center ................................503-692-1212 MENTAL HEALTH
19300 SW 65th, Tualatin
POPULATION SPECIFIC SERVICES
Legacy Mt. Hood Emergency ............................................. 911
Medical Center ................................503-674-1122
24800 SE Stark Street, Gresham
Adapt Behavioral Health IRCO - Immigrant and Refugee
Day Hospital Program ...................360-696-5300 Community Organization..............503-234-1541
Oregon Health Sciences irco.org
University/Doernbecher ..............503-494-8311 Cascadia .............................................503-674-7777
3181 Sam Jackson Park Road, Portland
cascadiabhc.org El Programa Hispano
Portland .......................................503-944 -7102
Peacehealth Southwest Clackamas Crisis Line and www.elprograma.org
Washington Medical Center .......360-256-2000 Urgent Walk-in Clinic.....................503-655-8585
400 NE Mother Joseph Place, Vancouver
clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/urgentmentalhealth Native American Youth and
Family Center ...................................503-288-8177
Portland Adventist Clark County Crisis Line ................360-696-9560 nayapdx.org
Medical Center ................................503-257-2500 Clark County NAMI Russian Oregon Social
10123 SE Market, Portland (Vancouver) ......................................360-695-2823 Services (ROSS)................................503-777-3437
namiswwa.org
Providence Portland emoregon.org/ross/
Medical Center ................................503-215-1111 Columbia River Mental
4805 NE Glisan, Portland Health Services ................................360-993-3000
crmhs.org
Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 7COMMUNITY SERVICES
Rape Victims Advocate/
SENIORS Victim Assistance Program..........503-988-3222 SUICIDE
Area Agency on Aging & Disabilities Restore Hope ...................................503-667-1189 Lines for Life .....................................800-273-8255
of Southwest Washington ...........888-637-6060 Helping children with child sexual abuse 24-hour hot line - suicide hotline, military
helpingelders.org and adult survivors help line, and youthline
restoretheirhope.org linesforlife.org
Alzheimer’s Association ...............800-272-3900
alz.org Emergency ............................................. 911
SHELTERS
Clackamas County Aging and Clackamas Crisis Line and
Disability Resources Collective ..503-650-5622 Bradley Angle House for Women Urgent Walk-in Clinic.....................503-655-8585
and Children.....................................503-281-2442 clackamas.us/behavioralhealth/urgentmentalhealth
Clackamas County bradleyangle.org
Senior Services ................................503-655-8640 Clark County Crisis Line ................360-696-9560
Call to Safety Crisis Line ...............888-235-5333 Multnomah County/
Elder Care ..........................................800-677-1116 calltosafety.org
eldercare.acl.gov Portland Crisis Line ........................503-988-4888
Immediate Shelter Inquiries ...........................211
Family Caregiver 24 hr shelter line for Mult County,
National Hope
Support Program ............................503-988-3646 Mon-Fri, 8-6 for all other counties
Line Network ....................................800-442-4673
The Family Caregiver Support Program offers services hopeline.com
211info.org
that can take some of the burdens off of unpaid
caregivers caring for someone Streetlight/Janus National Suicide
Youth Shelter ...................................503-380-7200 Prevention Lifeline .........................800-273-8255
Oregon Elder Law ...........................503-284-6778 Overnight shelter for youth age 16-24
suicidepreventionlifeline.org
oregonelderlaw.com
Ticket Home .........................................................211 Survivors of Suicide
Lutheran Community Services NW Resource for transportation back to family for homeless
Support Group ................................503-200-0382
Portland ........................................503-231-7480 individuals, 211 does the screening process
sbsnw.org
Vancouver ....................................360-694-5624
lcsnw.org
211info.org Survivor Outreach Program
Vancouver Emergency Shelter ..360-695-9677 (American Foundation for
Multnomah County Aging and Disability vhausa.com/emergency-housing
Suicide Prevention)........................503-479-8754
Helpline (Gatekeepers) ................503-988-3646 Email......................................hccoregon@afsp.org
multco.us/ads/gatekeeper-program afsp.org/SOP
SIDS - SUDDEN INFANT
Salvation Army / Teen Line ...........................................310-855-4673
SIlvercrest Senior Housing ..........503-988-3646 DEATH SYNDROME Toll-free ..............................................800-852-8336
salvationarmyusa.org/usn/love-the-elderly/ teenlineonline.org
Brief Encounters ..............................503-699-8006
Senior Loneliness Line ..................503-200-1633 Support for Bereaved Parents of Pregnancy/Infant Loss Trevor Project (Teen Crisis/Suicide
seniorlonelinessline.org briefencounters.org Prevention for LGBTQ Youth)......866-488-7386
First Candle .......................................800-221-7437 thetrevorproject.org
Support group for parents who have lost a child to SIDS
SEXUAL ASSAULT/RAPE firstcandle.org
VETERANS/MILITARY
Call to Safety Crisis Line ...............888-235-5333 Hayden’s Helping Hands
calltosafety.org Support/Funds for Stillborn Baby Hospital Bills Military Help Line ...........................888-457-4838
haydenshelpinghands.com militaryhelpline.org
Lutheran Community Services NW
Portland ........................................503-231-7480 Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep .....877-834-5667 VA Mental Health Services/
Vancouver ....................................360-694-5624 Remembrance Photography Vet Combat Call Center ................877-927-8387
lcsnw.org nowilaymedowntosleep.org vetcenter.va.gov
(Trauma Intervention Program NW cannot recommend nor endorse any business. Without their advertising support, this Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.)
DEALING WITH THE MEDIA
If you have been involved in an incident of public interest, you n Say “NO” to an interview even though you previously n Ask that offensive photographs or visuals be omitted
may encounter the media. It is important that you know your granted interviews. from airing or publication.
rights and know that you have a choice regarding sharing the n Release a written statement through a spokesperson in n Conduct a television interview using a silhouette
details and/or feelings with the general public. You do not lieu of an interview. or a newspaper interview without having your
have an obligation to speak with the media, however if you n Exclude children from interviews. photograph taken.
do, you may find the following information helpful. n Refrain from answering any questions with which you are n Give your complete side of the story related to
uncomfortable or feel are inappropriate. your victimization.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO: n Know in advance what direction the story about your n Refrain from answering reporter’s questions
n Say “NO” to an interview. victimization is going to take. during trial.
n Select the spokesperson or advocate of your choice. n Ask for a review of your quotations in a story line prior n File a formal complaint against a reporter.
n Select the time and location for media interviews. to publication. n Grieve in privacy.
n Request a specific reporter. n Avoid a press conference atmosphere and speak to only n Suggest training about media and victims for print
n Refuse an interview with a specific reporter even though one reporter at a time. and electronic media in your community.
you have granted interviews to other reporters. n Demand a retraction when inaccurate information is reported. n Be treated with dignity and respect by the media.
8 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDEDEALING WITH STRESS
CRITICAL INCIDENT STRESS INFORMATION
You have experienced a traumatic event or a critical incident (any event that causes unusually strong
emotional reactions that have the potential to interfere with the ability to function normally). Even
though the event may be over, you may now be experiencing or may experience later, some strong
emotional or physical reactions. It is very common, in fact quite normal, for people to experience
emotional aftershocks when they have passed through a horrible event.
Sometimes the emotional aftershocks (or stress reactions) appear immediately after the traumatic
event. Sometimes they may appear a few hours or a few days later. And, in some cases, weeks
or months may pass before the stress reactions appear.
The signs and symptoms of a stress reaction may last a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or longer,
depending on the severity of the traumatic event. The understanding and the support of loved ones
usually causes the stress reactions to pass more quickly. Occasionally, the traumatic event is so painful
that professional assistance may be necessary. This does not imply craziness or weakness. It simply
indicates that the particular event was just too powerful for the person to manage by himself/herself.
Here are some common signs and signals of a stress reaction:
Physical* Cognitive Emotional Behavioral
chills confusion fear withdrawal
thirst nightmares guilt antisocial acts
fatigue uncertainty grief inability to rest
nausea hyper-vigilance panic intensified pacing
fainting suspiciousness denial erratic movements
twitches intrusive images anxiety change in social
vomiting blaming someone agitation activity
dizziness poor problem solving irritability change in speech
weakness poor abstract thinking depression patterns
chest pain poor attention/decisions intense anger loss or increase of
headaches poor concentration/ apprehension appetite
elevated bp memory emotional shock hyper-alert to
rapid heart rate disorientation of time, emotional outbursts environment
muscle tremors place or person feeling overwhelmed increased alcohol
shock symptoms difficulty identifying loss of emotional consumption
grinding of teeth objects or people control change in usual
visual difficulties heightened or inappropriate emotional communications
profuse sweating lowered alertness response etc…
difficulty breathing increased or etc…
etc… decreased awareness
of surroundings
etc…
*Any of these symptoms may indicate the need for medical evaluation.
When in doubt, contact a physician.
Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM): Group Crisis Intervention, 4th Edition,
June 2006, International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, Inc.
Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 9DEALING WITH STRESS
THINGS TO TRY
n WITHIN THE FIRST 24-48 HOURS — periods of appropriate physical exercise, alternated with
relaxation will alleviate some of the physical reactions.
n Structure your time; keep busy.
n You’re normal and having normal reactions; don’t label yourself crazy.
n Talk to people; talk is the most healing medicine.
n Be aware of numbing the pain with overuse of drugs or alcohol, you don’t need to complicate this
with a substance abuse problem.
n Reach out; people do care.
n Maintain as normal a schedule as possible.
n Spend time with others.
n Help your co-workers as much as possible by sharing feelings and checking out how they are doing.
n Give yourself permission to feel rotten and share your feelings with others.
n Keep a journal; write your way through those sleepless hours.
n Do things that feel good to you.
n Realize those around you are under stress.
n Don’t make any big life changes.
n Do make as many daily decisions as possible that will give you a feeling of control over your life, i.e.,
if someone asks you what you want to eat, answer them even if you’re not sure.
n Get plenty of rest.
n Don’t try to fight reoccurring thoughts, dreams or flashbacks — they are normal and will decrease
over time and become less painful.
n Eat well-balanced and regular meals (even if you don’t feel like it).
FOR FAMILY MEMBERS & FRIENDS
n Listen carefully.
n Spend time with the traumatized person.
n Offer your assistance and a listening ear if they have not asked for help.
n Reassure them that they are safe.
n Help them with everyday tasks like cleaning, cooking, caring for the family, minding children.
n Give them some private time.
n Don’t take their anger or other feelings personally.
n Don’t tell them that they are “lucky it wasn’t worse;” a traumatized person is not consoled by those
statements. Instead, tell them that you are sorry such an event has occurred and you want to
understand and assist them.
Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM): Group Crisis Intervention, 4th Edition,
June 2006, International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, Inc.
10 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDECHILDREN & TRAUMA
Protect your child from repeated news coverage.
CHILDREN & TRAUMA:
n
n Make it clear to your child that you are ”in
SUGGESTIONS control”. It is very frightening and confusing
FOR PARENTS for a child to sense that parents themselves are
disorganized, confused and anxious. If your own
by Wayne Fortin, Founder and CEO, response to the event interferes with your ability
Trauma Intervention Programs, Inc. to care for your child, ask for help! Professionals
CHILDREN ARE TRAUMATIZED BY A WIDE who specialize in working with traumatized
variety of events which include but are not children can be very helpful.
limited to: natural disasters, crime, auto accidents,
serious illness, community violence, hostage For more assistance,
situations, violence in the home and the death please call 503-823-3937.
of a parent or loved one.
Parents play a vital role in their child’s successful
recovery from a traumatic event. Following are
ways parents can help their child following a
traumatic event: EFFECTIVE WAYS OF
COPING AFTER A
n Reassure your child that he/she will be taken care
of, loved and cherished just as they were before
TRAUMATIC EVENT
the traumatic event.
n Nurture your child. Children who have been 1. Accept the fact that you have been a victim and
traumatized need physical contact. Cuddling, accept the feelings that result. Remember: others
rocking, massaging and reading quietly help may not validate your feelings. In fact, they may
relieve stress and anxiety. minimize your experience: “You were only a
n Pay special attention at bedtime. Nighttime is witness”, or “You were really lucky”, or ”It has been
particularly difficult for traumatized children. It two weeks! Why are you still bothered?”
may help to read to your child, rub their back,
play music and leave a light on. 2. Accept all the feelings you are having as normal
n Encourage your child to tell his/her story. reactions to an extraordinary event. You are not
Your child may need to tell their story repeatedly. “crazy”. You are reacting normally to a “crazy”
Listen attentively and allow your child to event. Be patient with yourself. It takes time to
talk about the traumatic experience at his/her recover emotionally from a traumatic event.
own pace.
n Provide physical outlets. Your child may have 3. Combat any guilt you might have by:
pent up anger/energy in their body. Provide n Accepting it as normal.
appropriate, fun and physical activities for n Talking to others about your role or their role
your child. in the event. You are probably not alone in
n Give your child choices and help him/her your reaction to this event.
develop a sense of control. n Realizing you were a victim and are not a
n Provide consistent, predictable patterns for your trained rescuer.
child. If something new is about to happen, n Recognizing what you “did right”!
explain to your child before hand what they n Recognizing the extenuating circumstances
can expect. related to the event — the suddenness, the
n Be tolerant and patient. No set timetable exists dangers, etc.
for the recovery of children. Some recover
quickly and others may take more time. Don’t 4. Don’t revert to “bad habits” (alcohol, drugs,
compare your child to other children who have overeating) to cope. They will only make
experienced the same event. matters worse.
Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 11EFFECTIVE WAYS OF COPING continued...
5. Maintain normalcy. Go about your daily routines n Maintain as normal a schedule as possible.
and ”take care of business.” n Eat well-balanced and regular meals. (Even if
you don’t feel like it!)
6. Attempt to understand what happened by n Try to keep a reasonable level of activity.
getting the facts. n Fight against boredom.
n Physical activity is often helpful.
7. Ventilate. TALK and write about the event. n Reestablish a normal schedule as soon
as possible.
8. Thank those who helped you and apologize to n Express your feelings as they arise.
those you hurt during and since the tragic event.
n Talk to people who love you.
9. Help each other.
n Find a good counselor if the feelings become
n Reach out to those who are prolonged or too intense.
particularly traumatized.
FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY
n Respect each other’s ways of coping.
n Listen carefully!
n Don’t victimize each other by judging other’s
individual coping style. Let the “grievers”
n Spend time with the traumatized person.
grieve and allow the “doers” to do.
n Offer your assistance and a listening ear even
if they have not asked for your help.
10. Decide as a group how you want to help: n Reassure them that they are safe.
n The victim n Help with everyday tasks like cleaning,
n The family cooking, caring for the family and minding
n Each other the children.
n Give them some private time.
10. If a death has occurred: n Don’t take their anger or other
n Implement or participate in a “saying feelings personally.
goodbye” ritual n Don’t tell them that they are “lucky it wasn’t
n Attend services worse” — traumatized people are not
n Contribute to a memorial fund consoled by those kinds of statements.
Instead, tell them that you are so sorry this
n Establish a memorial on scene
event has occurred and you would like to
n Wear a symbol on clothing
understand and assist them.
HELPFUL HINTS If you find that you are still suffering severe
Some of the following ideas might help you or symptoms (sufficient to disrupt any of your
others alleviate some of the aftershocks of a normal functioning) after six weeks, professional
traumatic event. counseling may be indicated.
FOR YOURSELF Contact your employee assistance program,
n Try to rest a bit more physician, or a mental health professional in
n Contact a friend your community for a referral to a therapist who
n Have someone stay with you for at least a specializes in this kind of work.
few hours or periods of time for a day or two.
n Recurring thoughts, nightmares and
flashbacks are normal — don’t try and fight
them. They will decrease over time and
become less painful.
Additional Resources can be obtained at www.sesamestreet.org/grief
12 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDEWHEN TRAGEDY STRIKES
10 THINGS TO DO AND NOT TO DO
All of us face dilemmas when something bad happens to someone we know. Many times we
inadvertently say the wrong thing and increase the hurt they’re already feeling. Or, we don’t do or say
anything for fear that we’ll be in the way. So here’s a practical list of 10 do’s and don’ts when it comes
to helping someone who’s just experienced a death or trauma.
1. DO listen. As a rule, if you’re talking more than they are, you’re not being helpful.
2. DON’T tell your story. It’s not about you. “When my father died ...” language isn’t helpful. Don’t try
and relate your pain — that’s essentially emotional theft. No matter how similar your story is, it’s
not theirs. Their experience is different and happening right now. Let the focus be on them.
3. DO send a note. It may seem insignificant to you, but a thoughtful, short, handwritten note can
mean the world to someone in a particular kind of hell. Even if it’s months after the death, that note
will mean a lot.
4. DON’T use platitudes like, “It was God’s will,” or “She’s in God’s hands now,” or “At least he had a good
life,” or “You can have other children,” Such loss is devastating and so are the mental wounds from
such mindless platitudes. Discounting statements like “at least ...” hurt because nothing is going
to make this situation okay. Instead, simply acknowledge the loss and express your sadness at the
pain they are going through.
5. DON’T be vague. “Call me if there’s anything I can do” is practically useless. They’re not going to call;
they’re too overwhelmed and too upset to even remember the offer. To someone in the immediacy
of a trauma, the phone weighs 2,000 pounds and is simply too heavy to pick up for any reason,
including asking for help.
6. DO be specific. Tell your friend; “I’m cooking dinner at your house on Thursday at 6 p.m.” The smells
of cooking can be extremely comforting and calming. Offer to pick up friends or relatives from the
airport. Take the kids to school or babysit after school. Vacuum their house. Take their trash to the
curb on trash day. Imagine what you would least like to do in their situation — then volunteer to do
it for them.
7. DON’T bring by a lasagna. People under extreme duress do not eat meals, they snack. Bring fresh
fruit, vegetables, cheese and crackers — foods that you can eat with your fingers that don’t require
cooking or clean up. Stress shuts down the digestive system. Heavy meals that require prep and
clean up just add to the stress.
8. DO bring essentials. The three things that people most need immediately after a death or trauma
are tissues, bottled water, and toilet paper. As family members, friends, and neighbors arrive they
all need tissues and water. Water bottles eliminate the need for cups and clean up. More people
means more bathroom visits so the need for more toilet paper becomes essential.
9. DO be human. If you see this person at the grocery store, don’t duck behind the soup display
because you can’t think of anything to say. This just makes the person feel alienated and lonely.
Acknowledge what happened by saying something like, “I’m so sorry this happened.” You don’t
have to save them or provide a counseling session. They might want to talk, they might not. Your
lack of comfort will only make them feel more alienated. A simple hug goes a long way.
10. DON’T judge. No matter what your feelings about the situation, use neutral language, “I remember
Mike’s smile. He was also so helpful to us. I’m sorry. How are you doing?” In fact, a simple “How
are you doing?” can go a long way. These situations are uncomfortable — for everyone. But with a
little thought we can avoid increasing the hurt and even help when the worst happens to people
we know.
For more information on how to help visit www.whentragedystrikes.org
Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE 13Southwest Washington
CRISIS LINE
Having an urgent mental health or
substance use need? Give us a call. Free
and available 24/7.
(800) 626-8137 | TTY: (866) 835-2755
wa.beaconhealthoptions.com
Text HOME to 741741 to access the National Crisis Text Line.
(Trauma Intervention Program NW cannot recommend nor endorse any business. Without their advertising support, this Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.)
14 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDEUNDERSTANDING AND
COPING
F IRE ∘WITH YOUR ∘GRIEF
I NDUSTRY R ESTORATION ∘ E XPERTS
Most people find the loss of a loved one the most also. It is very important that you include, not
intense and difficult experience of their lives. To lose exclude, others in mourning your loss.
someone is a universal experience. To mourn is a
universal emotion, yet many people, both members in A fourth common error is an attempt to escape
the helping profession and the bereaved themselves, the pain of loss by making even more changes in
are confused about the nature of mourning. Many of their lives; selling the house, changing jobs, going
those who grieve try to hide their sorrow. Many in our on long trips. All of these may be appropriate
culture believe that mourning should be suppressed. in time; not when we mourn. Like our shadows,
We now know that to suppress our sorrow; to thwart our feelings of sorrow cannot be run away from.
the mourning process, further disorients us and makes Buying binges...radical changes in living habits...
us more at risk for both emotional and physical illness. taking flight from our routines of care...these are
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If you are newly bereaved, you may find it very difficult try to avoid sorrow. What is important for you is
to concentrate on what you are reading, and that is to make as few changes in your circumstances
perfectly normal. We will discuss specific topics in of living as possible. While there will be many
depth to be used when it’s not so difficult to think. changes you cannot avoid, postpone as many as
Let me mention some errors many mourners make. you can.
THE MOST COMMON ERRORS A fifth common error of mourners is to ignore
The most common errors made by mourners usually their own health. For some, it seems to be going
begin with the people believing that mourning should to the extreme of feeling the best way of honoring
be over in a short period. We know, on the basis of the dead is to die with them. For others, it is to
specific polls, for example, that a majority of the abandon self-esteem. Whatever your reason, you
people believe mourning should be over in 48 hours need to care for your own health.
Y o u r R e
to two weeks. THIS ASSUMPTION IS FALSE. Loss of yours t o r a t i o n E xp e r ts
loved one will have a measurable and visible impact Taken from video tapes by Dr. Glen Davidson, Ph.D.,
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(Trauma
(Trauma Intervention Program
Intervention Program NWofcannot recommend nor endorse
Portland/Vancouver any business.
Inc. cannot Without their
recommend nor advertising
endorse anysupport, this Citizen
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Citizen Resource Guide would not be possible.)
14 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDE Trauma Intervention
TIP of Portland/Vancouver Program
CITIZEN NW CITIZEN
RESOURCE GUIDE 14
RESOURCE GUIDE 17
15COPING WITH SUICIDE AS A FAMILY
It is important to sit down together to talk, cry, feel rage, guilt and even be silent.
Communication is the key to survival in the aftermath of suicide. At the same time, there should be
respect for each person’s individual way of handling grief. Some family members will grieve privately,
others openly, and others a combination of these two styles. In many ways, each family member must
grieve alone. Here are some suggestions to help with family grief.
Pay attention to your family members when you are with them. Let them know that you love them. Be
sensitive to how other family members feel. Listen to what is meant as well as what is being said. Accept
the other person and what they say.
Don’t give each other the silent treatment. This has many negative effects. Sit back and listen. Let other
family members have an opportunity to talk. Be sure to hug and touch each other at every opportunity.
Recognize that anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays will be difficult for each member of the family.
Remember, you can’t help anyone if you’re falling apart. Do what you can do for yourself – and get help
for what you can’t do. If depression, grief, or problems in your family are getting out of control, seek the
advice of a counselor.
Studies show that a bereaved person’s self-esteem is extremely low. Survivors should work on their image
of themselves, and to help each family member to think and feel good about them.
If there is a suicide note, discuss as a family what to do with it. If you think it will only bring you pain, then
have a private burning and commit its contents to God or a higher power.
www.afsp.org
CLICHES – WHAT NOT TO SAY
Well-meaning people who don’t know what to say often use cliches. Sometimes they cause
more aggravation than comfort. Here are a few that shouldn’t be said in time of grief:
n I know how you feel n I just don’t know how you n You will/can have
are so strong another child
n Calm down
n I don’t know what I would n You have other children
n It will be better tomorrow
have done if it had been me n It’s time to get on with
n It’s God’s will
n Don’t cry, it’s ok your life
n They are better off
n You don’t want to do that n Life goes on
n They’re happier in heaven
n Don’t feel n It is divine to forgive
n You will get married again
n They will never hurt again n Call me if you need me
n Time heals all wounds
n Had they lived, they would
n It was part of God’s plan never be the same
16 Trauma Intervention Program NW CITIZEN RESOURCE GUIDEYou can also read
