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3/16/2021
The Center for Family Safety
and Healing
Teens and Technology:
Dating in a Digital World
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Parenting Teens in the Age of Social Media
Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago- 2020
https://www.luriechildrens.org/en/blog/social-media-parenting-statistics/
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FIVE STEPS-
Supporting Healthy Teen
Relationships in a Digital
World
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STEP ONE:
Understand how teens use
technology, including in
relationships.
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Prevalence
Which apps are most popular for youth?
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Facebook (13+), Twitter, Instagram (13+)
“Mainstream” apps used for communication among
teens, their friends and their parents. Parents may
use the apps themselves.
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Snapchat (13+)
App used to share stories and videos with captions
among friends. These images can only be shared
with select friends and will “self-destruct” in 3-10
seconds.
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TikTok (12+)
TikTok purchased Musical.ly but many of the same
features exist including 15 second lip sync videos
using popular songs for teens. Videos can be
searched through hashtags and has over 300 million
active monthly users.
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TikTok Relationship
Trends
• Date Night – Rock,
Paper, Scissors
• Kissing best friend
• The Ick
• Stalking behaviors
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Hierarchy of Needs
Adaptation of: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs / As seen on: Rachel Rhody, Facebook
Sequence of Engagement
Dr. Bruce Perry- Neurosequential Model
Reason
[Cortex]
Relate
[Limbic]
Regulate (Rhythm)
[Midbrain / Brainstem]
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STEP TWO:
Learn the warning signs for digital
dating abuse.
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What is
ONLINE SEXUAL SOLICITATION?
Online sexual solicitation involve requests
via technology to engage in sexual activities
or sexual talk or give personal sexual
information that were unwanted or, whether
wanted or not, made by an adult.
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Mitchell, K. J., Jones, L., Finkelhor, D., & Wolak, J. (2014). Trends in
Unwanted Online Experiences and Sexting. Durham, NH: Crimes
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What is SEXTING?
Sexting is sending or receiving sexually
explicit or sexually suggestive nude or
seminude images or video, usually via a
cell phone.
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What is DIGITAL DATING ABUSE?
Digital dating abuse is the use of
technologies such as texting and social
media to bully, harass, stalk or intimidate a
partner. Abuse is about POWER and
CONTROL.
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Digital Dating Abuse – The Signs
"The Signs" Teen Dating Violence PSA produced
by Digital Bodega of the Ghetto Film School in
collaboration with agencies from Long Island, NY.
- Posted on YouTube by: LI Against Domestic Violence on August 18, 2014
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LGBTQIA and DDA
There is limited data on digital dating abuse in the LGBTQ
youth community but existing data shows significantly higher
rates among LGBT youth.
Teens who report digital abuse and harassment from a dating
partner:
• 26% of heterosexual youth
• 37% of LGB youth
• 56% of trans youth
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Gender and DDA
Teens reported equal rates of digital
monitoring and control as well as digital
direct aggression.
However, girls reported more frequent digital
sexual coercion victimization and more
negative emotional responses.
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STEP THREE:
Decrease isolation
for teens by
creating a safe
space to talk.
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Parenting Teens in the Age of Social Media
Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago- 2020
https://www.luriechildrens.org/en/blog/social-media-parenting-statistics/
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“All screen time is not equal. We
encourage parents to think less about the
blunt measurement of screen time, and
more carefully about how their children
spend time on devices and what that
means for their social development.
…consider whether or not online activities
are enhancing social support and
facilitating social connectedness
versus negative interactions that focus on
social comparisons and reduce time spent
in in-person interactions.”
-Dr. Claire Coyne, Ph.D.
Lurie Children’s Hospital
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Approach with Curiosity
• Tell me about how this app is important to you?
• What is appealing about this app?
• What does this app do that another app doesn’t?
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Mindfulness
“Mindful individuals are less likely to view negative
feelings and/or events as unpleasant or scary (Thompson
& Waltz, 2008) and are more likely to redirect their attention
from past experiences, particularly bad or painful
experiences, to the present moment (Baer, 2003), promoting
effective emotional regulation (Davis & Hayes, 2011)”
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Mindfulness
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STEP Four:
Encourage and model healthy and
safe relationships. Communicate
family values and expectations.
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Key Aspects for Healthy
Teen relationships
Comfortable Pace
Independence
Compassion
Fun
Loveisrespect.org
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Shared Vision
Shared Vision unites relational frames of
language and thought – putting everyone on
the same page and eliminating
misunderstandings.
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Shared Vision
1. Predict the positive steps and outcomes of the
upcoming activity.
2. Establish what we would like to see, hear, do and feel
more.
3. Establish what we would like to see, hear, do and feel
less.
4. Allow young people to drive the conversation but offer
guidance.
5. Ensure the more outnumbers the less.
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Remind Teens of Their Digital Rights
• You have the right to turn off your phone and spend time with friends
and family without your partner getting angry
• You have the right to say no to sending pictures or information
digitally to your partner that you are not comfortable with
• You have the right to keep your logins and passwords private
• You have the right to control your own privacy settings on social
media
• You have the right to feel safe and respected in your relationship
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Create a Family
Media Agreement
commonsense.org
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STEP FIVE:
Know the resources available to
youth and young adults.
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loveisrespect.org
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endtechabuse.org
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www.thatsnotcool.com
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wherestheline.info
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Questions?
Thank you!
Contact Information:
Chelsey Getz MSW LSW, TRCC II
Training Coordinator
614-722-8402
Chelsey.getz@familysafetyandhealing.org
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