The Campus: March 30, 2018 - Allegheny College DSpace Repository
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Allegheny College Allegheny College DSpace Repository http://dspace.allegheny.edu Student Publications The Campus Newspaper Collection 2018-03-30 The Campus: March 30, 2018 Allegheny College http://hdl.handle.net/10456/45967 Copyright: 2008-2014, Allegheny College. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, reproduced, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed beyond the Allegheny College community without permission. All materials in the Allegheny College DSpace Repository are subject to college policies and Title 17 of the U.S. Code.
VOLUME 142, ISSUE 19 – FRIDAY, MARCH 30, 2018 – WWW.ALLEGHENYCAMPUS.COM
EVERYTHING IN THIS ISSUE IS FAKE NEWS. SAD!
Campus-wide
carpal tunnel
affects seniors
By DAENERYS TARGARYEN Rachelle Honson, ’19, is
The Mother of Dragons only a junior and already
fears that fate has led her to
Allegheny students are
developing a severe case of
unable to finish their senior
carpal tunnel.
comprehensive projects with
“It was late one Tuesday
the onset of severe carpal
night when my hand started
tunnel syndrome across
to cramp, and I knew I was
campus.
in trouble,” Honson said. “I
In a survey carried out
feel personally victimized by
by the Hohn J. Bardner In-
Allegheny, carpal tunnel and
stitute, a non-profit organi-
my professors who give me
zation focused on improv- TORMUND/THE COMPOST
multiple 12 page papers to
ing students lives in higher President of the United States Donald Trump poses outside of the Henderson Campus Center during his visit to
write each week.”
education, which partnered Allegheny College on Sunday, March 25, 2018.
Assistant Professor of En-
with Allegheny as part of
glish Genny Rox sees carpal
Con Role’s faculty staffing
plan, it was discovered that
98 percent of seniors will be
tunnel as a badge of honor
from Allegheny.
“There isn’t another
Allegheny announces Trump as
annual Civility Prize recipient
graduating with carpal tun- school out there that gives
nel. you carpal tunnel like Al-
Carpal tunnel causes legheny does,” Rox said.
pain, numbness and tingling “Students should wear it as a Jane Smith, ’18, was throw- “I have a Pacifist Club meet- the president of ASG, said. “Our
By JON SNOW
in the hand and arm. This badge of honor to show how Guardian of the North ing bricks through the windows ing in half an hour, and I don’t normal meetings are so busy,
condition occurs when one much hard work they’ve put of administrative buildings. want to miss Pacifist Club,” and we work so hard to pretend
of the major nerves to the Allegheny College an-
into their academic career.” Smith said the action was infu- Smith said. “So if they reverse to accomplish so much. It was
hand is squeezed or com- nounced President Donald
Students are finding that riating and disrespectful. their decision by then, that nice that we got to hold an un-
Trump as the recipient of its
pressed as it travels through carpal tunnel has not only “The administration does would be great.” eventful session for once.”
annual Civility Prize during a
the wrist, according to the left them incapable of fin- not really seem to respect us Joe Doe stood on the steps of Studley said during the meet-
ceremony on Sunday, March 25.
Allegheny’s We Don’t Give ishing their senior projects, here,” Smith said. “First, they Bentley Hall in front of a crowd ing, ASG officially removed all
Tim Cullen, president of
Notes But Get Well Soon but opening doors to most Allegheny, made the official an- double the price of a hamburg- of students, feeding add cards references to the organization’s
Center. buildings has become al- nouncement in a speech to the er at McKinley’s. Next, they into a bonfire. Doe said he felt powers and responsibilities
Following the onset of most impossible. Since its college. take away the underwater bas- outraged at what he saw as a be- from the constitution.
carpal tunnel, panic has establishment in 1815, Al- “From rewriting the rules of ket weaving major, leaving all trayal of trust. “We used to have protocols
spread across campus as the legheny has yet to update its civility in public discourse, to three of us future basket weavers “That’s why I’ve dedicated for how we were supposed to
due dates for senior projects expanding the boundaries of without any career prospects. myself to standing here outside operate and actually get stuff
buildings, making it a very
grow near. Many are unsure what it means to be civil in to- Now, they do this. How does Bentley, demanding the admin- done,” Studley said. “Now we
inaccessible campus.
if they will finish in time. day’s society, Donald has made a this show respect for the stu- istration reverse their decision,” removed all references to things
Due to the inaccessible
“I sit here and ask myself, career out of pushing civility to dents as learners?” Doe said. “This is completely in- like voting and passing resolu-
buildings and an inability
‘how am I supposed to write new boundaries,” Cullen said. Smith said she was glad she excusable, and I will not budge tions. It’s all meaningless buzz-
to type or write, seniors are
Trump thanked Cullen for did not have any classes that day, from this spot until justice is words, sort of like the phrase
90 pages in two different now required to memorize
the prize in a series of tweets as she could spend more time served.” ‘constituent feedback.’ We all
languages with carpal tun- and read aloud their entire
during the event. protesting. Doe swiftly broke off the in- want to be lawyers someday, but
nel’,” Golly Donnell, ’18, said. senior project under the
“Little Man Cullen has a “The administration needs terview, claiming he had to leave that was too much legalese.”
“I’ve barely lived my life and Rustic Bridge while their
huge soul and a huge spirit,” to realize they have made a for his Psychology of Inanimate Rim Tott, Allegheny’s Dean
this isn’t even a masters pro- advisers, the administration
Trump said. “Very huge. He’s mockery of the idea of civility, Objects class. As he left, a large of Students, declined to com-
gram.” and all non-senior Allegh- as well as the civility prize itself,” group of protestors detached ment, as she was too busy build-
also a president too, you know.
Senior projects are re- eny students are forced to Smith said. “But all actions have from the crowd, dispersing to ing a wall around her office. Tott
Surprisingly, he doesn’t have
quired by Allegheny College stand above and listen. consequences. They shall be the various academic buildings explained it was to keep out
to worry about bureaucratic
in order to graduate. Project “As underclassmen be- nonsense such as term limits. I met with fire and fury, the likes on campus. journalists, especially from The
topics vary across depart- come upperclassmen they wonder how he did it. I should of which has never been seen In response to the rioting, Compost.
ments and are considered need to be careful,” Donnell probably take some advice.” before. I hope they cannot sleep Allegheny Student Government “The Compost is fake news,
an independent study or said. “Carpal tunnel is lurk- Students protested the an- tonight. They deserve what is held an emergency meeting. and it’s really sad,” Tott said.
research paper with some ing everywhere and it will nouncement with riots carefully coming, every bit of it.” “Nothing happened, nothing “Also, everything I ever will say,
being 40 pages in length to get you when you least ex- orchestrated as to not interfere Smith hoped the announce- really got done, it was actually and ever have said, is retroac-
over 100. pect it.” with classes. ment would be quickly reversed. quite nice,” Matt Studley, ’18, tively off the record.”
Compost staff drinks blood from mugs during break
By JON SNOW officially make it on staff un- Mort Stein, ’20, the junior lege, said the college was aware
Guardian of the North less they earned their mugs. features editor of The Com- the party had taken place.
Those who did not receive a post, said the party was one “As long as they are not
The Compost editorial mug would have their blood of the main reasons he ap- committing any alcohol viola-
staff was seen drinking the consumed during the next plied for a staff position on the
tions, there should not be any
blood of contributing writers year’s spring break party. newspaper.
out of The Compost coffee “It’s a way to encourage “When I got my mug, I was problems,” Haadi said. “I’m
mugs at a spring break party people to take articles,” Flim- ecstatic,” Stein said. “I knew I not saying we fully endorse the
on Saturday, March 17. ber said. “The staff doesn’t was in the clear, and I couldn’t practice, but if it’s a way to cut
The Compost News Editor want to have to write stories wait until I got to drink the down on the number of inci-
Laura Flimber, ’19, said the either, so we try to find ways blood of a poor contributing dents we have to respond to,
party was a Compost tradi- to get others to do our work. writer who didn’t make grade.” then I’m all for it.”
tion. That’s how you get ahead in Jimmy James, ’21, said the
When asked if the party vi-
“When I was a contrib- the world of journalism.” main event of the party terri-
olated any state or federal laws,
uting writer, the staff always Flimber said the idea of fied him.
seemed to hype up these drinking blood out of coffee “I have to write some ar- Haadi said she did not know.
Compost-branded coffee mugs was not as strange as ticles for my Journalism 100 She explained that due to an
mugs as a reward for getting some may think. class, and I don’t think I’ll be unfortunate incident involving
five articles published,” Flim- “I’m in the sorority Alpha able to do the five needed for a paper shredder and a burn-
ber said. “I never understood Beta Gamma, and we do that me to get a mug,” James said. ing garbage truck, the relevant
why they were such a big deal. kind of thing all the time during “I only have two so far, and be- documents were not available
I mean, they’re kind of cool, chapter meetings,” Flimber said. cause of all the other clubs I’m
for review at the time.
but it won’t incentivize me “It’s a great way to encourage involved with, I just don’t have
to write more than I already group bonding, and it helps en- time. I guess I’ll have to find a “Let’s just say that I’d love to
SANSA STARK/THE COMPOST would.” sure people remain committed way to get the last three done.” help, but I don’t have the in-
Mugs sit in the Compost newsroom after the editorial Flimber explained con- to attending sorority events. The Abby Haadi, director of formation right now,” Haadi
staff enjoys a drink on Saturday, March 17, 2018. tributing writers could not same logic applies here.” Public Safety at Allegheny Col- said.
2 March 30, 2018 The Compost
[News]
AlleghenyCampus.com
Room draw system to feature Hunger Games-like competition
By SANSA STARK a unique room draw process. jors made it clear they were
Lady of Winterfell “This is sure to be the best taking the competition seri-
way to satisfy everyone at Al- ously, chaos ensued, accord-
By ARYA STARK
legheny,” Houndsmith said. ing to Hunter. Many students
Tiny but Mighty
“Students are divided by class tried to make alliances, using
Allegheny College’s Office year, and the reaping is held in McKinley’s munch money
of Residence Life announced the Henderson Campus Cen- as their greatest bargaining
the new room draw system ter. It will last two full days.” tool. It quickly became clear
on Friday, March 16. The new Although the new meth- that those who had been care-
system will include a “Hun- od was to give the college a less with their munch money
ger Games-like competition,” unique take on the dreaded would not do well in the com-
according to Jessica Hound- yearly room draw, the reality petition.
smith, associate dean of stu- of the competition is proving “There was a kid beside me
to be far worse, according to who only had $2.50 left on his
dents and director of resi-
surviving sophomore Joseph card,” Hunter said. “You can’t
dence life.
Hunter. Once students heard even buy a quesadilla with
Residence Life decided to
about the new room draw that. That was the last I saw of
announce the new system the
system, they started trying to him.”
day before spring break so
make alliances with one an- Daniel Broach, ’21, said he
students can begin preparing
other. Initially, the meetings was not entirely sure how to
and training for room draw
to make alliances were very handle the impending com-
ahead of time.
orderly. petition as a first-year. SANSA STARK/THE COMPOST
“Initially, we were going to Students stand in the Henderson Campus Center to make alliances in preparation for
“We’d all gather in the “All of my friends claimed
average students’ numbers at campus center and try to form they were intended econom- the room draw competition on March 29, 2018.
room draw, but we got a lot teams, or something like that. ics majors, and they’ve made
of pushback from students,” Then one day, all these eco- good alliances,” Broach said. Dint, ’19, denied Bolton’s maniacal laughter floating and began training with one
Houndsmith said. “I was nomics majors broke through “I’ve already bargained what’s claims. from the building, but there another. Class attendance has
watching the Hunger Games, the crowd and tried to take left of my munch money, so “We work just as hard as has been no other sign of the dropped to a record low as the
and inspiration just came to control of everything,” Hunt- I’m starting to get a bit ner- the econ majors,” Dint said. two students. date of the competition draws
me. I thought, ‘We should do er said. “It was kind of a mess vous.” “So does every other student Seated comfortably in her closer. Senior students started a
something like that in order to after that.” While some students are here. We’re just trying to carefully locked and secured gambling empire, as they take
pick rooms.’ The next morn- Raquel Bolton, ’19, said worrying over the allianc- make strong alliances, and a office, Houndsmith said she bets on which groups they be-
ing, I went into the office and her fellow Economics ma- es that are slowly forming in lot of us have been talking to did not notice any of the
lieve will survive the competi-
told the rest of my staff, and jors were desperate for good the student community, a few econ majors to try to get some mounting animosity amongst
tion and which will fail early.
we were all in agreement. This rooms. economics majors are growing of them to join our team.” students.
Keeping her blinds drawn,
was the perfect solution.” “We’re all just kind of an- concerned with the mathemat- While the Economics and “I expect a fair, friend-
The new method was Mathematics majors have ly and fun competition,” however, Houndsmith failed to
gry all the time,” Bolton said. ics majors, according to Bolton.
meant to reward the strongest “We’re all squished into the been trying to makes alliances Houndsmith said. “After all, see the camps just outside her
“The math kids are trying
student with the best room top floor of Quigley, and ev- to lump themselves in with us,” despite their differences, Al- students asked for the room window.
on campus, allow room for eryone always asks us to do Bolton said. “They know we legheny’s two Chemistry ma- draw system to be changed.” “I’m looking forward the
incoming first-year students their taxes. We figured we at have the power, and they’re try- jors have vanished into Stef- Outside of her office, stu- competition,” Houndsmith
and set the college apart from least deserved good rooms.” ing to take advantage of that.” fee Hall. A few students have dents organized into various said. “I honestly can’t see what
others in the nation with such Once the Economics ma- Mathematics major Jim reported colored smoke and camps based on their alliances could possibly go wrong.”
College to give
snowshoes to
every student
By DAENERYS TARGARYEN “Not only are we giv-
The Mother of Dragons en snowshoes to prepare us
for the harsh life in winter
Starting with the matric- during and after college, but
ulation of Fall 2018, all in- the new major shows us how
coming first-year and current to use our degrees to fend
students will be receiving off bears,” said Alison Rabo,
SANSA STARK/THE COMPOST snowshoes to cut the cost of ’21. “Animals can smell how
Allegheny Student Government failed to book their usual room for their meeting on Tuesday, March 27, 2018. snow removal at Allegheny expensive, time consuming
ASG President Matt Studley, ‘18, wandered off campus before he could prepare the room for the meeting. college. and worthless an Allegheny
As the college’s endow- degree is which scares them
ment shrinks, tuition rises for
ASG president steals club credit
away.”
the 27th time and the atten- College administration
dance rate drops due to adults views snowshoes and the new
not wanting to birth annoying major as a positive addition to
card, uses money to buy drinks children anymore, the school
will be removing the Manual
Weed Department. The Weed
the college’s unusual combi-
nations reputation. To show-
case the schools use of snow-
Department is in charge of shoes, Admissions is offering
By SANSA STARK I thought it would be nice After he realized Studley drained every bit of energy
ground operations and main- every prospective student that
Lady of Winterfell to let everyone else in ASG was about to use the ASG and happiness I once found
tenance as well as any renova- visits before the early decision
have a fun night too.” credit card, Cullen called in life. Using their credit card
Allegheny Student Gov- tions or construction needs deadline their own custom
Sneaking the credit card Hurts to ask if she knew what felt sort of therapeutic, in a
ernment failed to accomplish on campus. pair and a bag of Life Savers.
from the room, Studley wan- was happening. Knowing she weird way.”
anything during its meeting “Second winter hit hard in
dered off campus into Mead- would need help, Hurts im- Hurts said Studley took Prospective students vis-
on Tuesday, March 27. Three ville and eventually found his Meadville, and we can no lon-
mediately brought the ASG one more shot then passed iting outside of the wintery
Allegheny administrators way into Nickel Bar. Allegh- cabinet with her into Mead- ger afford it,” said Con Role,
out on the floor of the bar. months will be taken to the
had been invited to explain eny College President Tim ville. The rest of the senators provost and dean of the col-
She tried to stop other ASG Quigley Hall basement by
their yearly accomplish- Cullen was getting food with followed, curious to see their lege. “Snowshoes lets us add
members from drinking tour guides to test their new
ments and as always, refuse his family in a restaurant near broken president. more staff to the “we’re letting
since she still hoped to get a shoes out. There will also be
to answer any questions from Nickel Bar when he spotted By the time they reached you go plan” which saves us
a live demonstration of bear
ASG. However, when the the clearly intoxicated Stud- Nickel Bar, Studley had man- refund for the purchase, but money.”
vs. Allegheny degree every
administrators arrived, they ley waving the ASG credit aged to finish another shot there were too many sena- Sidewalks, roads and path-
Monday, Wednesday and Fri-
found an empty room. card wildly through the air. and purchased 500 drinks tors for her to control. Once ways will no longer be salted
day making the basement the
The failed ASG meeting Cullen said he called out to from the bar. When every she realized she would not be or shoveled after the Spring
2018 semester. Students will number one spot on the tour
began when ASG President Studley to see if he could help ASG senator entered the bar, able to get the money back,
Matt Studley, ’18, took one use their snowshoes to get to guides list of “top ten places to
in any way. Hurts said Studley was an- Hurts said she gave up and
and a half shots in his room and from classes. visit before graduating from
Once he went into Nick- noyed it had taken them so drank more than anyone else.
just before he left for the “We never actually salted Allegheny.”
el Bar, Studley said he took long to come to him, as he “At one point, I tripped
Henderson Campus Center. or removed snow in the first Different colors and sizes
three more shots then decid- had texted them an invitation over Matt’s body, and that’s
“I always knew Matt was place, but I am sad I won’t be will be available to students
ed to buy all the drinks the an hour earlier. when I remember he’d passed
a lightweight,” said ASG Vice able to drive the gator utility not majoring in how to use
bar had to prepare for the rest “He forgot to actually send out, like, an hour before,”
President Mallory Hurts, ’18. vehicle anymore” said Carl your degree to survive in the
of ASG’s arrival. the invitation,” Hurts said. “I Hurts said. “So I told the oth-
“I heard he couldn’t even fin- Baker, a Weed Department wilderness from the Merri-
Outside of the bar, Cul- found it written on his phone ers to help me get him back
ish the second shot.” worker. “The bricks made for man Bookstore starting on
len said he thought Studley after I took it from him be- to campus.”
After drinking in his was visiting Nickel Bar for an great jumps, and you won’t April 22. The price of snow-
cause he was trying to send ASG returned to campus
room, Studley went to the ASG-sponsored event. a Facebook invitation to the believe how high those gators shoes will range from $200 to
around 9:30 p.m. $1000 depending on the col-
campus center. Before he “I crossed the street and entire school.” can fly.”
“It wasn’t until we put Matt or, patterns, and any engrav-
could set up for the meeting, looked through the window Hurts said she tried to re- Meadville, Pennsylvania
Studley said he saw the ASG to bed that I realized we’d left receives over 30 feet of snow a ing students would like added
of the bar to see if Studley turn the drinks, but Nickel
credit card sitting on the the credit card in Nickel Bar,” year along with three winters to them.
needed anything,” Cullen Bar refused to refund Stud-
desk. said, offering a different ac- Hurts said. “When I went making snowshoes a necessi- “Snowshoes help bring in
ley’s purchase. Although the
“It must have been left out count of what happened once ASG credit card was charged back this morning to look, ty. Snowshoes have also led to money and more prospec-
from the last purchase,” Stud- Studley was inside Nickel Bar. over $1000 Tuesday night, it was gone. We still haven’t the creation of the how to use tive students,” said Flornell
ley said the next morning. “That was when I saw him or- Studley said he did not regret found it.” your degree to survive in the SeLane, Dean of Admis-
He sat in McKinley’s Dining der his first shot, take a small spending that much money Director of Finance Betsy wilderness major. This major sions. “Fraternities have been
Hall wearing a pair of sun- sip then drop the glass on the on drinks. Blue, ’20, declined to com- teaches students lifelong skills pre-ordering snowshoes like
glasses and staring at a plate floor. He offered to buy every “It’s been a long year, and ment, as she could not stop such as burning their paper crazy to show they have the
of untouched chicken fingers. drink at Nickel Bar to make I needed to relax a bit,” Stud- crying long enough to lift her degree for warmth when they biggest pair on campus, it’s
“I’d had a lot to drink, and up for the broken glass.” ley said. “Honestly, ASG has head from the desk. are jobless and living in shacks. great!”
AlleghenyCampus.com
[News] The Compost March 30, 2018 3
The Compost is printed annually around April 1.
EVENTS CALENDAR
Advertising: (555) 555-5555
Box 5, P. Sherman
42 Wallaby Way, Sydney Fraternity Event to Make Allegheny a Dry Campus
Friday, March 30, Schultz Hall, 12:15 a.m.
Fraternities on campus have started working together to support the
idea of Allegheny becoming a dry campus. They will be hosting an
event to raise support and awareness for the cause. All are invited.
BYOB.
Administration Open-House for Prospective Students’ Families
THE COMPOST Friday, March 30, Loomis Street, 11 p.m.
To ensure prospective students’ families understand all Allegheny
WWW.ALLEGHENYComost.COM has to offer, Administration will host an open-house that will give
the families a tour of a weekend at Allegheny. Families are expected
to bring their own mixers, but drinks will be provided. The campus-
NED STARK Head of the King wide crawl will begin at 11 p.m. Anyone still sober by 12 a.m. will be
ARYA STARK Tiny but Mighty asked to leave campus.
editor@alleghenycampus.com Allegheny Student Government Party
Saturday, March 31, College Court, 11 p.m.
SANSA STARK Lady of Winterfell Hopeful to find a way for students to notice them, ASG will hold a
party in College Court. The theme is worst American Senators, and
JON SNOW Guardian of the North everyone on campus is invited. Administration will visit briefly to
DAENERYS TARGARYEN The Mother of Dragons answer students’ questions (lol jk, no they’re not). Drinks will be
provided.
news@alleghenycampus.com
TJ the Erie Guy Concert
Monday, April 2, Arter Hall Basement, 1 p.m.
LYANNA MORMONT Lady of Bear Island Realizing he failed to perform for half of his slotted time, TJ the Erie
PODRICK PAYNE Squire Guy has offered to return to Allegheny to give another performance.
The only available space is the Arter Hall basement in the afternoon.
CATELYN STARK Queen Mother Students who are attending class during the concert are asked to
features@alleghenycampus.com bring ear plugs so they can continue to work during the performance.
What About the Male Orgasm?
GENDRY The Bull Monday, April 2, Shafer Auditorium, 5 p.m.
JAIME LANNISTER King Slayer Following the popular talk about the female orgasm, three guest
speakers will visit Allegheny’s campus to present “What About the
sports@alleghenycampus.com Male Orgasm?”. The presentation will be about a subject that is rarely
discussed: the male orgasm. The talk will focus on misconceptions
surrounding the taboo subject and will empower men to learn to
BRIENNE OF TARTH Brienne the Beauty truly appreciate the male orgasm.
TYRION LANNISTER Hand of the Queen
Sorority Hazing Event
science@alleghenycampus.com Monday, April 2, Campus Center Lobby, 10 p.m.
To fight an unjust system in which fraternities may haze but sororities
cannot, all sororities on campus will hold a hazing event in the
KHAL DROGO Chieftain campus center lobby. The event will begin with a guest speaker who
GREGOR CLEGANE The Hill will talk about her best hazing memories. It will conclude with a
opinion@alleghenycampus.com campus-wide hazing event, in which everyone who attends will be
blindfolded and given tasks to complete. Attendance is mandatory.
SANDOR CLEGANE The Hound Administration Public Forum
Tuesday, April 3, Campus Center Lobby, 12-2 p.m.
TORMUND Giantsbane The Allegheny Administration will be holding an open discussion
photo@alleghenycampus.com to give students a chance to voice their thoughts about the decision
to remove Oddfellows Hall and extend the Robertson Complex on
campus. Areas for the new water polo and cheese racing teams to
OLENA TYRELL Murdering Grandma practice will be built in the place Oddfellows Hall currently stands.
All students are encouraged to attend.
web@alleghenycampus.com
Office of Public Safety Picnic
HODOR Master of the Door Friday, April 6, Gator Quad, 12-3 p.m.
In preparation for the fast-approaching Springfest, the Office of
business@alleghenycampus.com Public Safety will hold a picnic on the Gator Quad. The picnic will
be open to anyone, but administrators are especially encouraged to
come, as the event will serve as a last moment of peace before the
SAMWELL TARLY Prince Pork-chop Springfest activities. Drinks will be provided to anyone who will not
adviser@alleghenycampus.com be enjoying Springfest.
Art Department Party
Follow us on Twitter @ACCompost Friday, March 30, Campus Center Lobby, 11 p.m.
In an attempt to keep Allegheny from completely erasing the Art
Follow us on Instagram @ac_compost Department after the removal of the Art History major, faculty
Like us on Facebook “The Compost Newspaper” and student members of the Art Department will host a party in
the Campus Center lobby. The party will include a show displaying
abstract works from both faculty and students. Food will be provided,
but the party will be BYOB.
Brooks Hall Rave
Saturday, March 31, Brooks Hall, 9 p.m.
CRIME BLOTTER To adjust to the near-constant fire alarms that have been plaguing
Brooks Hall all year, residents of the dormitory will hold a rave
March 24, 2018 during the next bout of alarms. The rave will include music set to the
Campus Center beat of alarm and a strobe light, which will be played on Brooks Walk
Student trashes McKinley’s Dining Hall after receiving same cow joke in preparation for evacuation. All students are invited. Alcohol will be
on every chocolate milk carton. provided, but students are asked to arrive already drunk.
March 24, 2018. Ghost Walk
Rustic Bridge Saturday, March 31, Brooks Wall, 3 a.m.
Student arrested for stealing wrong plank. The Office of Spiritual and Religious Life will host a Ghost Walk that
will cover Allegheny’s entire campus. The walk will begin in Brooks
March 25, 2018 Hall, where students will be asked to look for a dark-haired girl
Campus Center wandering from room to room. The tour will conclude in the campus
Student robbed of all Munch Money. Security thoroughly bamboozled. center lobby, where students can convene to discuss what they saw
throughout the night. Anyone who spots a ghostly cow is asked to
March 26, 2018 immediately notify the group.
Brooks Walk
Student arrested for attempting to steal all bricks on Brooks Walk. Only Gladiator Competition
partially successful. Thursday, April 5, Gator Quad, 2:31 p.m.
To find the new Dean of Students, the Allegheny administration has
March 27, 2018 decided to hold a Gladiator-style competition in which the three final
Quigley Hall candidates will engage in a fight to the death. The administration
History majors stage their own version of the French Revolution. invites all students to visit the Gator Quad and place bets on the
winner and losers.
March 27, 2018
Quigley Hall Book Drive
Three members of History Department faculty maimed or seriously Friday, April 6 at 12 p.m.
injured. To help students handle the cost of books for next semester, the
Allegheny administration has organized a book drive. All students are
March 28, 2018 invited to buy and sell books for the Fall Semester. The lowest prices
Loomis Street will begin at $415, and will stop at $700. McKinley’s Munch Money
Former Dean of Students arrested attemps to enter college party. has been announced as an acceptable form of payment. All students
Students alerted Meadville Police Immediately. are welcome to attend.
4 March 30, 2018 The Compost
[CLASSIFIEDS]
AlleghenyCampus.com
Careers Liquor or alcohol
Buying any liquor or alcohol from anyone on campus. I am
For Sale
One Trump voter
twenty-one, I just want someone else it get it for me from town.
I am twenty-one.
Safe-space gauge
Okay, this is less of a job and more of a one time thing. Hon-
For those of you who have ever walked into a room and felt
Cargo for cargo pants
estly, I just want proof that you exist. Literally, I cannot find a
threatened by the opinions of others, this is the gadget for you.
single student here who admits they voted for Trump. I even
It basically works like a Geiger Counter, except instead of de-
went to the College Conservatives meeting and all of them were
tecting radioactivity, it will alert the operator when it encoun-
too scared to admit they voted for him! You must exist. Please
I am that guy who is always ready for anything. You know ters dissenting opinions and possible areas of valid disagree-
just meet me at McKinley’s this Saturday.
me. I wear flannels, hiking shoes and cargo pants as if I just ment. Take it with you on the go, and make sure every space is
walked out of an episode of The Walking Dead. Or maybe you a safe one.
don’t see me around, because I often wear camo-stuff too. Ei-
Expert poll e-mailer ther way, I am buying stuff to fill all the cargo space I have now,
so please respond to this article if you have: matches or any ADVERTISEMENT
sort of fire-starter I might need in class; a multi-tool where
So I’m that typical club president who emails out a doodle all the pliers, knives and saws were made so small for conve-
poll, and then three seconds later has to blast out another round nience that it rendered them unusable anyway; carabiners for LOOKING FOR FAIR MAIDEN
of emails apologizing about how the original link didn’t work the rock-climbing I do on my way to Brooks; anything with
and how “hopefully this one does.” Long story short, my club para-cord attached.
members are pissed I keep spamming them every week, so I’ve
decided to outsource. I know what the ad says, but you don’t
need to be an expert at Gmail or Doodle Polls. You really just
need to be able to copy and paste a link for me. I know, it’s not
rocket science, but for some reason I can’t seem to do it. Services
Perspective giver Willing to hold stuff
I need someone to give my roommate some perspective.
For three semesters I’ve been hearing about how hard his comp Are you looking for a friend to hold onto something for
is, even though it’s only a two semester comp. I am dead se- you? Look no further. I am a trust-worthy guy willing to hold
rious. Last night, he was writing in his room for two hours, onto something for a friend. I am trustworthy sophomore, not
even though the entire time he was texting and scrolling Face- sketchy, and trustworthy. Just looking to score a little extra cash.
book, and then he walked out and groaned as if he had just You have something you don’t want to be carrying around with
been through Normandy. This job literally entails you telling you or keeping in your room? Send it my way. I’ll hold onto it
him that every single person who has graduated Allegheny has for a friend, and if someone catches me with it, I will not tell I am a single guy, adept at horse riding, fal-
written a comp and that he should get a grip. them I’m holding onto it for a friend. Don’t worry, I’m a trust-
worthy guy. coning and dancing. I excel in martial prowess,
and have a full head of hair, blue eyes and good
Newspaper editor ADVERTISEMENT
jaw line. But that last bit does not matter because
I am never taking this helmet off no matter how
For this job, you need to be majoring in the social science or many times you ask.
humanities, and have good verbal and writing communication
skills. Additionally, you need to be enthusiastic, maybe take you ARYA STARK FOR ASG PRESIDENT
job too seriously, actually take your job and yourself way too se-
riously, think you can change the world with a breaking story in
a small college paper no one reads, and then be resilient enough
to remember no one reads it and just go on with life.
Education
Pre-law student Saegertown University
Founded and staffed exclusively by former Allegheny faculty
Following Tony Hallway’s latest lawsuit, Allegheny College who took the buy-out, come expand your education with the
will be hiring a pre-law track student to serve as his legal rep- most experienced professors in the region.
resentative in order to save the college millions in legal fees.
Successful candidates should have experience in spinning the
truth to the breaking point and avoiding journalists’ calls and
emails. The position will be paid $7.25 an hour, with a ten cent
raise every time Hallway is named in another lawsuit. Pay is
Self-defense classes
capped at $500 an hour. STARK, ’19, IS RUNNING FOR ASG PRESI- Have you ever been walking alone on campus late at night,
DENT ON THE PROMISE TO TURN IT INTO when out of nowhere, someone approaches you and starts to
AN AUTOCRATIC REGIME. SHE IS ALSO ask pointed questions about the fundamental assumptions
THE CURRENT LEADER OF THE ONLY FREE underlying your thesis? Have you ever been in an office with
Wanted PRESS APPARATUS ON CAMPUS, WHICH IS
CONVENIENT.
two professor who are critiquing your work, and suddenly felt
physically vulnerable? This is the class for you. Come learn how
to not only ward off would-be muggers, but also defend your
comp from challenging questions. Learn to identify an oppor-
ES major reqs’ tunity to apply a choke-hold, while also looking for logical gaps
and straw men.
Hey everyone! I am a just a freshman, but I am looking to get
Will do anything
a jump start on declaring my environmental studies major next
year! Unfortunately though, I do not have a car on campus, so Hey all! I am just a guy who is struggling to make friends. As
a result, I have resorted to making a spectacle of myself. I have
Science fair!
I am looking to buy all the required materials from people here
now developed a destructive personality, and will do literally This is a call for all Allegheny students to submit a project for
at Allegehny. If you are willing to sell any of the following items,
any dare. Give me something to do. I will do it. Give me some- this year’s science fair. All you need to do is get a green take-out
please let me know! I need a Patagonia jacket, a Nalgene water
thing to drink. You think I won’t drink it? Give me something box from Brooks this week, eat a meal out of it, and then leave
bottle, a collection of alternative stickers for my laptop and a
to do that will land me on someone’s Snapchat story, please. it in your room and see what grows! Second place prizes will be
pair of hiking sandals. Thank you!
offered to the worst smelling protein shaker and third place will
go to the grimiest unwashed travel coffee mug.
PHILOSOPHERZ
It was about
time
they let me o
ut of
jail.
Imman d
uel! I
prison I KANT!
State of know I
tol
ut my
Nature you abo n we
he
crime w ed
ck
were lo
go tell
up, but I’m
ge
the jud for
t
innocen n be
ca
me so I
o!
freed to
State of
Nature
AlleghenyCampus.com
[science] The Compost March 30, 2018 5
Students design robot to replace counseling staff
By BRIENNE OF TARTH Now, Sherman is nearly
Brienne the Beauty ready, Carey said, to debut as
a counselor.
Four first-year computer
An application and a for-
science students are applying
mal proposal to begin Sher-
classroom learning to serve
man’s transition into the
the campus community.
counseling center’s sole staff
Natalie Ayers, Shane
position have both been sub-
Burns, Sullivan Carey and
mitted to and filed in the ap-
Cam Lennox, all members of
the class of 2021, spent winter propriate offices.
“
break in the basement of Al-
den Hall designing and build-
ing a human-like robot.
“It started out as just a fun
thing for us to do,” Burns said.
“None of us could travel home We are starting to
for break, and we wanted to think robots could
keep ourselves busy. But as solve a lot of the
we progressed and Geraldine
came to life, we realized this
could be part of something
college’s problems. “
bigger than us.”
The students named their
creation Geraldine Sherman
and have programmed Sher- Sullivan Carey
man to apply for a counseling Class of 2021
position in the Counseling Contributed by Pixabay
and Personal Development Geraldine Sherman, a robot designed and built by first-year students Natalie Ayers, Shane Burns, Sullivan Carey
and Cam Lennox, has applied for a counseling position in the Counseling and Personal Development Center. After Counseling and Person-
Center.
Sherman appears to be be- addressing glitches over spring break, the students believe Sherman is ready to serve the campus as a professional al Development Center staff
tween 35 and 45 years old, can counselor. could not be reached for com-
speak fluent English, Spanish ment after six attempts by the
and French and is able to rec- The students have been views in the unlikely event the next week,” Carey said. last week we sort of had an computer science students
ognize and label several hu- resourceful, using materials Counseling and Personal De- The students returned with epiphany,” Lennox said. “We and eight by The Compost.
man emotions, including an- from the basement of Do- velopment Center returned Sherman to Alden dismayed, miscalculated some chemical “We still have some issues
ger, disgust and sadness. The ane Hall of Art and campus the students’ phone calls and protecting their hopeful work ratios in the leg battery packs with the typical and undesir-
students said they believe the dumpsters, and Sherman emails about Sherman. of art from the afternoon rain and had to recalculate some of able behaviors, but we kind
campus community will not would not require a salary “The leg is something we with a tarp. the electronic responses in the of understand that those are
be able to notice major differ- — only regular maintenance can fix because we think it’s “We were afraid this would robot brain.” never really going to go away
ences between their robotic and adjustments if it eventu- just a loose connection, but happen,” Carey said. “Even Lennox and the other stu- no matter how we program,”
design and current counsel- ally transcends physiological the hand is tricky,” Carey said. though we did the program- dents said they wished they Carey said. “We just hope the
ing staff. needs, Ayers explained. “When we placed a pen and ming ourselves, the thing just would have had more math college will realize this.”
“We thought we could The students have experi- piece of paper on the table won’t stray from typical and practice so these issues could Ayers, Burns, Carey and
really help the college in its enced some issues with Sher- in Tippie, you know, to prac- undesirable behaviors.” have been avoided. Lennox have also been work-
downsizing initiative by re- man’s programming, however, tice filling out paperwork, the The students said they Last semester, Carey and ing on a similar design to re-
placing the counseling center and may need to reconstruct hand could only write ‘How would not allow this setback to Lennox decided to enroll place Residence Life staff. For
staff with one person, I mean some of Sherman’s robotic are you doing this week’ and impede their success, so they in other spring courses af- now, they wait in Alden in be-
robot,” Ayers said. “It could limbs, according to Burns. ‘See you next week.’” ate, worked and slept in Alden ter learning that math was tween classes and pass time by
be so beneficial for everyone Burns said he and Carey When Burns and Ayers during spring break to recon- rumored to be obsolete in administering Turing Tests to
in the long-run. Having Ger- noticed issues with Sherman’s tried to confront Sherman figure Sherman and ultimately computer science studies, one another.
aldine wouldn’t be a drastic right leg and right hand when about the apparent glitch, attributed their shortcomings but they expressed some re- “We are starting to think
change for students, and the they brought Sherman to the Sherman’s voice box could to miscalculations. gret after making, what Carey robots could solve a lot of
college would save a lot of Tippie Alumni Center last only repeat, “You’ll have to “This has been a frus- described as, “embarrassing the college’s problems,” Carey
money.” month to stage practice inter- wait outside” and “See you trating time for all of us, but mistakes.” said.
Humanities classrooms to move into science buildings
Changes coming for English, philosophy and religious studies departments
By TYRION LANNISTER following the end of their use, a separate, aboveground wing
Hand of the Queen administrators said the college of Steffee Hall, and faculty of-
will work to ensure the transi- fices will be housed in reno-
The Allegheny College ad-
tions are smooth and comfort- vated maintenance closets.
ministration announced plans
able for students and faculty. “We think that sharing
Monday, March 26, 2018, to
“We are pleased to an- these spaces will create an im-
move all humanities class- portant bonding opportuni-
nounce the donation made
rooms into the basements of ty for the staff that will really
by distinguished alumni of
Carr Hall and Steffee Hall. contribute to the community
plaques for the Reis Room,
The move comes after an feel of this campus,” Role said.
the Quigley Room and the
investigation into the struc- Odd Fellows Room,” Con Faculty reactions to the an-
tural integrity of Odd Fellows Role, provost and dean of the nouncement have been mixed.
Hall, Reis Hall and Quigley college, said. “So long as creative writ-
Hall. A further budget review ing, particularly poetry, par-
“
cemented administrators’ ticularly poetry taught by a
plans to minimize building competent professor with
maintenance expenditures. sufficient knowledge of Greek
“In light of recent efforts culture, is given its place, the
to downsize the college as a We would like to see move will be tolerable,” said
whole, President Cullen felt the return of these Contributed by Chmee2/WikimediaCommons
resources would best be di-
rected toward buildings that
already house vital laborato-
halls one day. “ English Department Chair
Blister Hawken.
Science faculty expressed
concerns, particularly about
Physical Plant staff discovered asbestos in Odd Fellows Hall last spring, prompting
plans to move all classes typically held in Odd Fellows to Carr and Steffee Halls. An
official date for the move has not been announced.
ry equipment,” said Tammy the lack of adequate space to
Ryan, assistant to the presi- house mice, fish and other
dent. “We will take deliberate animal test subjects. Multiple
measures to ensure that all Con Role professors also complained
humanities professors have Provost and about the potential disruption
access to chalkboards and Dean of the College caused by classes being held
chalk as well as erasers.” throughout the night to en-
Allegheny College Presi- Role said the plaques will sure each course can continue
dent Tim Cullen was unavail- represent the legacies of the to be offered.
able for comment as he was in historic buildings and serve “As of right now, human-
a meeting to finalize his pen- as a permanent reminder of ities classes will likely be held
sion. student and faculty laugh- 18 to 20 hours a day due to
The move is perceived by ter, tears and memories from classroom availability,” Role
Physical Plant, which con- each building. said. “New soundproofing
ducted the investigation, as Each of these rooms will will be put into the ceilings
an absolute necessity. house classes in the depart- above the basement in each
“After receiving reports of ments taught in the current building to ensure absolute
illness from several student academic buildings, ac- focus during late-night labs
employees following an at- cording to Ryan. Additional and study sessions.”
tempt to remove asbestos in classrooms will be added as Role expressed optimism
Odd Fellows, we decided to student interest in incoming and confidence in the college’s
move the English, philosophy classes is evaluated. direction.
and religious studies depart- “We would like to see the “We’ve really taken into
ments into Steffee Hall,” said return of these halls one day,” account student desire and
Gorge Williams, director of Role said. “We just mean hall communicated heavily,” Role Contributed by Pixabay
physical plant. as in hallway in this particular said. “Students have contin- The proposed move will involve renovations to the basements of both Carr Hall and
While no future plans have scenario.” ued to smile at President Cul- Steffee Hall. These renovation plans include installing soundproofing material, pic-
been announced for the ex- Role added the new busi- len in McKinley’s throughout tured here, in the new humanities classrooms to create a barrier between the basement
isting humanities buildings ness major will be housed in the entire process.” humanities spaces and the upper-floor laboratories.
6 March 30, 2018 The Compost
[Features] AlleghenyCampus.com
Let’s taco bout Parish leaving over the lack of nachos
Allegheny College removes cantina for being too delicious for students
By CATELYN STARK the snow while wearing her the cantina into the sitting and roommates. that deprives its students of have access to nachos.
Queen Mother cheerleading uniform in or- area, Parish was greeted by a “At the time, I had no idea nachos,” Parish said. The campaign has already
der to get her plate of nachos. cafeteria full of students gulp- how bad it was,” said Bodak. Parish withdrew herself gained hundreds of signa-
Allegheny College offers Parish wanted nothing more ing down mozzarella sticks As hard as Bodak and Par- from the college bright and tures. However, Marley refus-
its students a wide variety of than a plate of nachos to re- while another batch waited ish’s other three roommates early Monday morning with es to stop there.
dining options, ranging from lieve her stress before heading for the grille to start serving tried, they could not find a the support of her parents. “Hopefully by the end of
standard dining hall food to bed. breakfast sandwiches. way to calm their friend. “I really wish Allegheny this year we will have thou-
in Brooks Dining Hall to an She had barely passed the Parish immediately Parish’s mind had been would’ve considered the con- sands of signatures. Depriv-
extensive sandwich bar and Phi Beta Kappa fraternity slammed down her pom made up, and she decided sequences before making this ing students of nachos is a
grille in McKinley’s Food house when she heard the first poms and stomped across
Court. murmur that the cantina was campus to Bentley Hall in or-
Throughout their college being shut down and removed der to find who was responsi-
careers, every student will at from the college campus. ble for this decision.
some point find themselves After the results of the Since it was creeping into
attracted to one specific type 2017 student satisfaction sur- the early morning of the
of comfort food. vey were released and studied, hours, Parish was greeted by
A lot of students find it was concluded that much of nothing except a locked door.
themselves at the grille wait- the dissatisfaction with the At this point, Parish was
ing for mozzarella sticks while school came from Allegheny frustrated and unsure of
others cannot wait to get their providing their students with what to do so she settled on
hands on a quesadilla or fries. too many delicious dining op- storming back to her room in
Campus Co-Editor-in- tions. North Village I. She proceed-
Chief Marley Parish, ’19, was Allegheny immediately ed to slam every single door
one of these many students. sprang into action to recti- behind her, which woke up
After a long night of cheer- fy the situation. The college about twenty residents in the
leading practice, Parish want- came to the conclusion that building.
ed nothing more than a plate providing a Mexican dining “Marley must be devastat-
of nachos. option was too extravagant ed. I just don’t know how she
“Marley has been one of and overwhelming for stu- is going to function with the
my best friends since fresh- dents. closing of Cantina. Nachos
man year. The first thing I ever However, the college did are what keep her sane,” said
knew about her was her love not predict the impact the Marianne.
of nachos, ” Marianne Gratzi, removal of the cantina would Parish made it back to her
’19, said. “Before I even knew have on the student popula- dorm before collapsing into a ARYA STARK/THE CAMPUS
her name, I knew this was a tion, or more specifically, the crying heap on her floor, still A passionate lover of Taco Bell, Marley Parish, ’19, poses with one of the greatest loves
girl who just had an immense effect it would have on Parish. dressed in her cheerleading of her life, a burrito.
amount of love for nachos.” Parish reached the Hen- uniform.
However, on the night of derson Campus Center from “I didn’t check on her at that she would no longer be radical of a decision,” Parish problem that is near and dear
Friday, March 9, Parish was Phi Beta Kappa in record first because I thought she able to attend Allegheny Col- said. to my heart, and I just hope
unable to get her late night time, only to discover that her was laughing. That’s how hard lege. Since leaving Allegheny that nobody will ever have
nachos. biggest fear had come true. she was crying,” said Lau- “As much as I love Allegh- College, Parish has started a to go through what I went
She had marched all the Instead of seeing the nor- ra Bodak, ’19, who is one of eny, I just can’t find it in my- campaign to advocate for the through ever again,” Parish
way across the campus in mal long lines stretching from Marley’s long time friends self to attend an institution rights of college students to said.
Sold out show: DJ Marley P breaks major concert records
By ARYA STARK logs, The Compost was able
Tiny but Mighty to confirm this decrease.
“I used to not work week-
The Shafer Auditorium ends because I wanted to
stage has been the host of spend more time with my
countless performers like Bil- wife and children. Now, I fight
for those late shifts on Friday
ly Joel, Third Eye Blind, Mac
and Saturday nights because I
Miller, Hoodie Allen and
love to listen to Marley’s tunes
Daya for the bi-annual major
while making my rounds, Ar-
concert, an event organized
mando said. “Just the other
by the major events commit-
day, I decided to follow her
tee. This year, the committee
on Spotify, and I just can’t
found its headliner a little
stop listening to her playlists.
closer to home and chose fel-
‘Merry LITmas’ is my favorite
low gator, DJ Marley P, ’19, as
one. It’s not your average hol-
the main performer for the
iday playlist, but the live ver-
show.
sion at parties is the best mu-
Once it was announced
sic experience you will ever
Marley P would be raising the
have. Everyone should go to a
roof of the Henderson Cam-
DJ Marley P party.”
pus Center, ticket sales sky-
Marley said she is beyond
rocketed and broke a college
excited, honored and hum-
record after the show sold out
bled to have been asked to
in four minutes.
perform for this year’s con-
“You know, there were no
cert. She said music was al-
hesitations about giving Mar- ways her way of expressing
ley the stage for the night,” herself, and she cannot wait to
“
CONTRIBUTED BY CREATIVE COMMONS, EDITED
said ASG President Matt
The amazing and talented DJ Marley P raised the roof of the Henderson Campus Center for the Allegheny Major
Studley, ’18. “I have heard her
Event Concert.
work at parties and at Town
Tav on the weekends. She just memories.” was the first ticket sale. She She was just so friendly. After nounce the concert openers.
knows what beats to drop and I have Marley’s name While the cat is out of the said she is pumped to see that, I always saw her sitting
tattooed on my arm, Kaftan said she has never seen
always pleases the crowd. My bag, and Marley’s role in the Marley perform in such a in booth in McKinley’s day af-
roommates and I tried to book and I have been to concert has been made pub- public setting and described ter day. I am so glad she is be-
Marley more excited than
her for one of our parties, but every single one of lic, she is keeping her setlist her first encounter with Mar- ing recognized for her talent.
then moment GAP and the
the waiting list is so long. She the parties she has under lock and key. ley. I hope she brings cheese and MEC asked her to collaborate
is in really high demand, but I been the DJ at. I re- “I have a wide variety of “The first time I ever saw pizza to the concert. Marley is and help find the other acts.
cannot thank her enough for
ally hope they find a music on my playlists. It all Marley was the weekend be- full of surprises, and food is “Marley is such a happy
bigger venue. If not,
taking the time to perform at
the concert this year.”
Marley P began her career
at one of Allegheny’s own
my entire Allegheny
experience will be
ruined.
“ depends on my mood and
who my audience is,” Mar-
ley said. “I am a huge fan of
2000s rap and hip hop, the
fore Thanksgiving break. I
was at a party with my friend,
Tarah, at red house, and to
this day, it is still my favorite
always involved.”
The MEC decided to hold
off on booking opening acts
until after it was announced
person, and I can tell that she
really wants to give the audi-
ence a performance they will
fraternity houses, Tau Chai. Jonas Brothers, maybe even night of college,” Shaw said. Marley would be the main never forget,” Kaftan said. “It
On the weekend, house walls Loganne Carla some songs from High School “The song ‘Everytime We performer. According to Ga- was a no-brainer to ask her to
vibrate with the beats of her Class of 2018 Musical. You’ll all have to wait Touch’ came on the speaker, tor Activities Programming help pick the other artists who
music selections, according and see at the concert, I don’t and my heart stopped. I just President Lauren Kaftan, ’18, will be performing with her.”
to one of her fans, Marianne share passion with her peers want to give everything away love that song so much, and this was a smart move because Marley said she is look-
Gratzi, ’19. and community members. all at once. Just know that I I knew I had to find out who artists are now contacting the
ing forward to the show and
“I have know Marley since “Music is just something have quite a few surprises up was controlling the music. I concert organizers asking to
our freshman year, and I am hopes that she will not disap-
I have always been passion- my sleeve.” looked up, and there was this pay them to be able to work
still in awe of how talented she ate about, but I didn’t realize Due to the high demand woman dancing in a formal and perform with Marley. point the crowd.
is,” Gratzi said. “She is my best how much I loved it until I for tickets, the MEC is con- dress, sweatpants and rain “We only have so much “I just love being able to
friend, roommate and favorite came to college,” Marley said. sidering booking another lo- boots. She was holding a box money to spend for the major change the whole dynamic of
DJ. She’s always jamming out “I went to a party, and I no- cation to hold the event. of pizza, a plate of cheese and concert,” Kaftan said. “Marley a room, and I cannot wait to
and listening to music. Our ticed all of these people just “I am DJ Marley P’s biggest passing out food to everyone refused to accept any form of see Shafer full of people danc-
apartment is a party all of the standing around awkwardly. fan, and my heart shattered at the party. I turned to my payment and instead suggest-
ing, having a good time and
time. It doesn’t matter if she’s Why wasn’t anyone dancing? when I didn’t get a ticket to friend and said, ‘She’s the DJ.’” ed all proceeds from ticket
showering, cooking, cleaning So, I went to the guy playing the concert,” Loganne Car- Shaw said she saw Mar- sales be used in order to sup- eating some Taco Bell. This
or doing laundry. It is always music and go, ‘Hey, can I try la, ’18, said. “I have Marley’s ley around campus after that ply an unlimited amount of is a once in a lifetime experi-
lit.” to play a few songs?’ He hand- name tattooed on my arm, night, and she was deter- Taco Bell for concert attend- ence, and I am so honored to
Director of Public Safety ed me the aux, and I put on and I have been to every sin- mined to befriend her. ees. Everyone thought that be able to share this moment
and Chief of Police Abe Ar- one of my favorites, ‘Come on gle one of the parties she has “Before I left the party, I was a great idea.” with my peers — my Allegh-
mando said noise complaints Eileen.’ The crowd went wild. been the DJ at. I really hope got the courage to walk over to As of now, the MEC, with
eny family. I cannot thank the
have declined since August There were people dancing on they find a bigger venue. If her and say, ‘Girl, you are liv- Marley’s assistance, are con-
2015, the time Marley be- tables and hitting the ceiling not, my entire Allegheny ex- ing your best life,’” Shaw said. sidering their options for college community enough
came a student at the college. with their hands. That is by far perience will be ruined.” “Marley gave me the biggest opening acts. Once a decision for providing me with this op-
After reviewing the crime one of my favorite Allegheny First-year Kristin Shaw smile, a hug and thanked me. has been made they will an- portunity.”
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