Shine Still riding after a spinal cord injury - Meet Felicity Weal
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Still riding after a spinal cord injury
Meet Felicity Weal, page 8
Shine
Sharing stories, ideas and news across
Lifetime Care and Workers Care.
Winter 2021
Jess Stocker:
from brain injury
to motherhood
Jess is a Lifetime Care participant
Jess with Georgia, Joey and William.
Jess barely survived a terrible accident when “Mum and Grandma came down
to Sydney and stayed in a little
she was 17. She is now the proud mother of a flat near the hospital. They’d
small boy. come across and visit every
“Jess and Ben” says the met some great musicians who morning. I don’t remember a
welcoming sign at the start inspired me and three friends lot from that time. Every day I
of the long driveway to Jess to start a band together. We went to the gym and saw the
Stocker and her partner Ben’s were called ‘Turkish Delights’ occupational therapists and
house on the outskirts of and we played crazy gypsy folk speech pathologists. The injury
Armidale. The house, in one music. My main instruments was mainly to the language part
corner of a large family hobby were cello and percussion. of my brain. I even forgot my
farm, looks out over rolling name, how to write and how to
“We played gigs at the hold a knife and fork. I had to
green farmland and bush. Woodford Folk Festival and start learning that all over again.
the Tamworth Festival when I
Passion for music “For some months I spoke in
was 15 and 16.
Jess’s parents separated early jargon – made-up nonsense
“It was a good childhood. words. I lost most nouns so I
and she grew up with her mum
I was happy and wanted to couldn’t name things properly.
Emily, her grandmother Cathy
be a music therapist or teacher.”
and Cathy’s partner Angie. “And I couldn’t smell, taste, or
“Both Mum and Grandma are Year 11 party even cry. I was depressed and
musicians,” says Jess. “Mum But everything changed for just wanted to be home. I was
was a singer and teacher and Jess in October 2007. so lucky to have the support of
is now a clinical psychologist.” my family there. I don’t think I
“It was the end of Year 11. I was
Jess went to Armidale High would have recovered the way I
at a party with my best friends
where she enjoyed drama and have if it weren’t for them.”
and having a great time. A
art. “But it was music that was group of us hopped in a car to Return of speech
really my main thing.” drive to the service station. Back in Armidale Jess
“I was in a choir my Grandma “But we never got there. My continued her therapy. She
conducted and the choir went friend didn’t see a semi-trailer became one of the first
overseas one year - to France, and turned in front of it.” people to join Lifetime Care.
England and Canada. We also
Jess sustained the worst Her bones healed and her
injuries of the group and had speech came back but the
to be resuscitated five times by brain injury meant she was
I couldn’t paramedics. She had multiple often very tired and had
smell, taste, or even fractures, a punctured lung trouble understanding what
and, most worrying of all, a she heard and read.
cry. I was depressed traumatic brain injury.
and just wanted to be “I went back to school to finish
She spent a month at Year 12. I couldn’t do things
home. Tamworth Hospital, including that most of my friends were
more than a week in a coma, doing like reading, writing and
and then another three months maths. I ended up alone in a
in rehab in Sydney. literacy and numeracy class.
2 SHINE WINTER 2021
Sometimes
I think I should be
better than I am. But
then I tell myself,
that’s who I am and
that’s OK. It took me
a long time to get
here, but I’m happy
in my life.
Jess, Joey and Ben.
“Before the accident I’d had Jess and Ben designed and instruments and reading books.
lots of friends but many of built a house on the property I also take Joey to swimming
them dropped away. Turkish where he grew up. Ben’s lessons and kids gymnastics.”
Delight disbanded.” parents and his brother’s family
all live on the property too. New cello
Jess struggled with her mood
– there was a period where she “We call it the family commune,” “I bought myself a new cello
was chronically sad and anxious. says Ben. “My two older kids before I had Joey to encourage
also spend a lot of time here, myself to keep playing. It’s a
Her mum Emily says, “As a
and Jess gets on well with their beautiful instrument.
younger kid, Jess had always
such a drive to be part of life. mum. So it’s a happy place!” “Although I miss work a bit and
We were so lucky that drive The accident is more than 13 the people and the fun, I don’t
was still there. She just wanted years behind Jess now. Two want to go back yet.
to be involved, and that really years ago, she gave birth to “I just look forward to spending
helped her recovery.” their son Joey. every day with Joey – teaching
Luckily Jess’s musical skills were “She is really great as a him. I feel that things are
not badly impaired by the injury mother,” says Ben. “A natural!” pretty complete right now, I’m
and she was able to return to not missing anything. I’m not
“Originally Jess’s fatigue was
playing and performing. missing studying – I’m studying
something we were worried
Joey! Maybe later on I’ll study
about,” he says. “But icare have
Meeting Ben been great. In Joey’s early days
or I’ll go back to work.
Since the accident Jess has they provided us with cleaners “Sometimes I think I should
taught music at two local and other help so that Jess be better than I am. But then I
preschools and given talks could just focus on Joey. But tell myself, that’s who I am and
about her experience at school Joey is a good sleeper and we that’s OK. It took me a long
road-safety programs. don’t need that help now.” time to get here, but I’m happy
Seven years ago, Jess met in my life.”
Ben, a cinematographer and An app to keep track
animator with his own business. “I’m pretty good at working out
“I told him about the accident medications and reading baby-
and the brain injury quite early related stuff,” says Jess. “I’ve
in our relationship,” says Jess. got an app where I can record
“He wasn’t fazed by it at all. what he’s eaten, and when
And he also plays guitar and
sings. So that’s a bonus!”
I’ve given him Panadol and
other things. If Joey’s crying I
NSW Armidale
Ben says Jess’s comprehension can check back on the app at
and memory are getting better where I’m up to.”
all the time. “But she still finds Jess and Joey have joined
reading hard work and, in a a group of other mums and
room with fast, overlapping their babies.
conversations she can find “Last year Joey and I started
it harder than most of us to mini-minstrels every Thursday
process the information.” morning – singing, playing
SHINE WINTER 2021
3
Jerome Wong:
wheelchair
adventurer
Jerome is in the
Workers Care Program
Jerome on his modified Ural motorbike with hand-operated gears and brake.
In his 20s, Jerome loved travelling to out-of-the-way places off the
tourist trail. Despite an accident that left him with a spinal cord injury,
Jerome’s adventurous habits didn’t change.
Jerome grew up in the 1980s the cars more than his other side of the rail ended in
and 90s on a two-hectare block IT course, so became an a 20-metre cliff. He slipped on
at Mt Colah on the northern apprentice mechanic with a car some gravel and slid over the
edge of Sydney. dealership. After finishing his cliff onto the old road below.
apprenticeship, he moved into “I think I was there for about an
Family camping trips a service advisor role with the hour lying face down,” he says.
“I always remember being out same company. “My phone had flown out of my
and about from an early age,” In 2008, Jerome headed pocket, I couldn’t move and I
he says. “As a kid I loved my overseas for three months was having trouble breathing. I
pushbike and riding it around on his first major adventure. realised I’d probably broken my
the bush tracks near our house. He and a friend rode their back as I couldn’t feel my legs.
“My parents took us away dirt bikes through South East I really thought I was finished.”
on camping and road trips. Asia including along 5000 Eventually Jerome was found
We went all around Australia kilometres of the Ho Chi Minh and airlifted to hospital. He had
hunting for fossils. I guess this is Trail in Vietnam. internal injuries and had broken
what gave me an adventurous six vertebrae and numerous
spirit. I always loved packing the Freeway accident
other bones. He was in ICU for
four-wheel drive and heading Back home, Jerome’s employer some weeks and in hospital and
off on unknown roads. It promoted him to run a service rehab in Ryde for six months.
became a habit.” department at Castle Hill and
“I was told I would never walk
When he left school, Jerome then a new dealership they
again but I vowed I wouldn’t let
studied network engineering were setting up.
my condition slow me down.
at TAFE while working part- One evening in April 2009,
time in a car wrecking yard. Jerome was riding his Back on the road
He enjoyed being around motorbike to Brooklyn after “I got into gym work and built
work to pick up some seafood. up my strength. I got my driver
While heading home, the bike licence back while I was still in
ran out of fuel. He hopped over rehab – they said I was the first
NSW the guardrail to keep out of the
way of trucks roaring along the
person to do that. I got an old
Volvo modified while I was there
freeway. What Jerome didn’t as well. On weekends I could
Fountaindale realise was that the slope on the leave rehab and go for a drive.”
It’s my dream job really. I love it. I can
mix the work up and move around which is
best for my nerve pain.
4 SHINE WINTER 2021
You’ve just got
to go out on a limb
and throw yourself
out there. There’s
always something
else around the
corner. It’s up to you
to have a productive
and enjoyable
life.
Jerome working on his Volvo at home under an icare-funded hoist. With Jess in Samarkand.
A week after returning home, in touch and the long-distance Three years ago, Jerome got a
Jerome and a friend headed relationship blossomed when job with PME Auto Conversions
up to the Sunshine Coast and Jess returned to Australia later in Hornsby who do vehicle
Fraser Island in a converted in the year. modifications for people with
four-wheel drive. In 2014, with his diploma disabilities.
“I felt I needed to challenge completed, Jerome and “It’s my dream job really. I
myself. We had to nut out all Jess set off on the biggest love it. I can mix the work up
the difficulties that come with adventure of all. and move around which is
using a wheelchair on that sort “We rebuilt an old Toyota troop best for my nerve pain. I work
of trip. I thought that if I can carrier and shipped it to the on the bench making the
go for a week camping on the UK. We flew there and spent components and I also do their
world’s biggest sand island, the time with Jess’s family before marketing and design work and
rest would be easy. And it was driving and camping through certifications for new vehicles.
awesome!” eastern Europe and Central
A big wedding
Work for Jerome wasn’t going Asia along parts of the Old Silk
as well. The auto dealership Road and back through Turkey, Jerome and Jess are not doing
told him his old job was gone Greece and the Balkans. We as much travel. “We’re paying
and offered him a position in organised it as a fundraiser for off the mortgage now,” he
customer service. Jerome felt Spinal Cord Injuries Australia laughs. “And we had a big
he’d been demoted. and set up a blog.” wedding in 2019!”
“I stayed working there another Jerome has plenty to do at
Hospitalised home.
two years but I didn’t feel
they were being flexible or The trip in the “troopy” was a “I love the garden. I mow the
accommodating.” great success although Jerome lawn on a ride-on and on my
had to be hospitalised a number day off I’ve got a gardener who
Happier times of times from complications helps me with other stuff. I’ve
“By 2012 I was struggling with relating to his injuries. In Turkey even planted some Moreton
the neuropathic pain I still had he needed a bladder operation. Bay fig trees to help offset my
from the accident. Eventually They cut short their adventure carbon! And I’m restoring a
they made me redundant. It and flew back to Australia early bunch of old cars and doing
was devastating.” in the New Year. lots of cooking.”
Jerome enrolled in a Diploma On their return, Jerome and His advice for others who have
in Mechanical Engineering. Jess bought a house on a large a spinal cord injury is “to go
bush block at Fountaindale out on a limb – you’ve just got
“It was a tough course but I
on the Central Coast. But to throw yourself out there.
was suddenly much happier –
throughout the next year There’s always something else
it was stuff that interested me.”
Jerome’s health deteriorated around the corner. It’s up to
Another ingredient in Jerome’s and he needed back, bowel and you to have a productive and
increased happiness was thyroid operations. enjoyable life.”
meeting a young woman called
“I still have some nerve pain and
Jess at a party. She was about
I still get urinary tract infections,
to fly home to the UK the
but since then my health’s been
following day. But the two kept
much better,” he says. SHINE WINTER 2021
5
Alison Packwood:
life and art after
a brain injury
Alison is a Lifetime Care participant
Alison with Ponyo in her garden.
After an accident 13 years ago, the country It looked like rain
NSW art teacher was told she would never walk But the dream was rudely
interrupted during the 2008
or work again. But she did, and she does. Alison April school holidays.
talks to Shine about her long journey back. “Heading home from Sydney,
Alison is a welcoming woman in “My two brothers were a lot I was pulling out from The Fruit
her early 40s with a warm laugh older and had left home before Bowl in Bilpin on Bells Line
as she greets us at the door of I started high school so I grew of Road, and the last thing I
her house on the outskirts of up almost as a single child. It remember was that it looked
Young. Ponyo, her 9-year-old was a lovely upbringing, and like it was going to rain.”
French bulldog, has hidden I guess I was a bit spoiled. On a bend Alison met a rush
a toy when we arrive and is My parents always told me of water coming across the
requiring attention. “His name is teaching was a great career – road, crossed the centre line
Japanese for ‘soft and cuddly’,” they worked hard during term and hit another car head on.
laughs Alison, “but he’s not!” and then enjoyed their holidays After being cut out of her
– so it’s not that surprising I vehicle she was transferred to
Teaching in the family followed their footsteps.” Westmead Hospital and placed
Alison grew up in nearby Cowra Alison’s favourite subject at in an induced coma for a week.
where her parents both taught school was art, and when she She had multiple fractures, a
at the local high school. went to university in Wagga collapsed lung, lacerated liver
“Mum taught French and English she studied a Bachelor of Fine and a traumatic brain injury.
while Dad taught metalwork Arts followed by a Dip Ed. When Alison first looked into
and woodwork. They had met After some short-term and a mirror she didn’t recognise
while teaching and still live in casual teaching positions, herself. “That image still haunts
the house Dad built in town Alison landed her “dream job” me to this day,” she says. She
with his father. They both liked in 2007 – a permanent position was told she would never walk
art and theatre so I remember teaching visual arts and design or work again.
lots of trips to Sydney – partly at Boorowa Central School “I said to myself that I would
to see relatives but also to visit near Young. show them all. I would show
galleries and go to plays. them what I could do.”
After five weeks at Westmead,
Alison spent another three
months in rehab in Young. She
I actually think my art got better after learnt to walk again although
the accident. Before, I only worked in black she still gets pain in her legs
and white and now I work in rainbow colours and back.
– it just happened that way. “And I still walk with a slight
limp, especially when I’m tired.”
But the main legacy of the
accident is Alison’s brain injury.
6 SHINE WINTER 2021
I love the
kids and the ideas
they have, seeing
the light bulbs go
on and getting
them to think
bigger and enjoy
art like I did at
school.
Alison and some of her artwork.
“I will have that for the rest of “Returning to teaching really Returning to
my life. Before the accident was the hardest thing I’ve done work really was the
I was much more social and in my life.”
spontaneous, then afterwards hardest thing I’ve
Alison started back at Boorowa
I became a recluse and always two days a week. done in my life.
exhausted, sometimes sleeping
“Over a couple of years I got
up to 17 hours a day. I felt lonely
back to four days. I’ve tried five Her entry “April is still the
and hopeless and saw a string
but it wears me out and I’ve cruelest month”, referencing
of psychiatrists and had a
had to tell myself I can’t do it. the physical and emotional
number of hospital admissions.”
I need to recover. So I’ve stayed changes following a car
Room for a dog at four. accident, was the prize’s overall
“Eventually I was diagnosed with “Despite the tiredness, I love winner (see page 10).
a form of chronic depression the teaching. I love the school.
called dysthymia where you The staff are so caring and Rewarding work
have a constant low mood. I supportive, and the executive “I think my teaching has got
now have regular treatment have really gone out of their better too,” says Alison. “My
for that, and for the last few way to be flexible and meet empathy and understanding
years I’ve been relatively good. my needs.” of people’s difficulties and
Relationships with my family how they want to express
have got better and I have a
Four things hard and uneasy things. I love
good circle of friends. I don’t Alison says that the four things the kids and the ideas they
travel that much, but we keep that keep her together are have, seeing the lightbulbs go
in regular contact. And Jane, an family, friends, teaching and art. on and getting them to think
old school friend, now lives in “I actually think my art got better bigger and enjoy art like I did
Mittagong but comes to visit – after the accident. Before, I only at school. It’s hard work but it’s
which I really love. worked in black and white and so rewarding and makes me so
now I work in rainbow colours happy when it goes well.”
“One of my brothers moved
here four years ago. I wanted – it just happened that way.
a pet so I needed to move Also, instead of painting things
out of my unit in town and he that were pretty or pleasing, I
helped find this house which do more emotional, expressive
is wonderful. He has mental work. I guess I’m using it as
health issues himself so we therapy. I get things out of my
head and onto paper – it helps
NSW
keep each other in check and
watch each other’s back.” me deal with them in some way.”
Alison’s main goal and focus Alison has done a number of
for her rehab was to get back art commissions for icare. Young
to work. “I’ve designed two of their
“The school was keen to have recent Christmas cards, and
me back and I loved my career when icare announced their
and I loved the school but I just inaugural Shine Art Prize last
wasn’t sure I could cope. year I was really keen to enter.”
SHINE WINTER 2021
7
Felicity Weal:
return to the
saddle
Felicity is in the Workers Care Program
Felicity with Fancy.
Felicity was following her life’s ambition to work with horses. She was
in a happy relationship, with her life ahead her. Everything changed
when she fell through a roof on the family farm. Now the determined
24-year-old is putting the pieces back together.
“We grew up in the Southern “When I finished school I “I was walking along the beam,
Highlands,” says Felicity. “Dad had no interest in going to like you should do when you’re
was a fencing contractor and university. I loved the farm on the roof. I was stepping over
my mum worked at a feed life and became a farm hand, one of the clear sunlight strips
store. We had a few acres there working for my dad. on the roof when I slipped –
with some sheep and horses. “I did all the general jobs on a the strip was very brittle and
farm, like fixing water pipes, cracked and I fell through. It
Always around horses was six metres to the ground.
building yards, fencing and
“I’m from a long line of horse looking after water troughs, “Waiting for the ambulance,”
riders and both my grandparents but I preferred working with says Felicity, “I was in a lot of
are horse breeders. My older the animals – checking sheep, pain and short of breath but, in
sister and I have ridden since running the stock part of it. between breaths, I remember
we were babies – we’ve always telling Andrew that I couldn’t
had horses around us. We grew Accident on a roof feel my legs. I realised it was
up doing pony club and lots “I met my partner Andrew bad but just kept focusing on
of shows.” here on the farm. He’d started the pain and my breathing.”
In 2011 when Felicity was 14, working for my parents while I A helicopter took Felicity to
the family moved onto a mixed was at school. We got together Royal North Shore Hospital
grazing property outside in 2015 about a year after I where she was diagnosed with
Cowra to be closer to Felicity’s finished school. broken ribs, a bruised lung and
grandfather. The two girls “I was pretty happy just a fracture of her T12 vertebra,
continued with their riding working on the farm and not resulting in an incomplete spinal
competitions. really thinking too much about cord injury. The paraplegia
the future.” meant Felicity would need to
The last day of August 2017 adapt to life as a wheelchair user.
was a pretty typical workday.
Andrew and Felicity were
Rehab routines
NSW headed to her grandfather’s
place down the road to feed
She spent two months in North
Shore and then another three
sheep. And there was also a months in Royal Rehab in Ryde.
Cowra shed roof he needed to repair. “I liked the structured system in
“We just had to go up there rehab,” she says. “You had the
and measure some roof sheets physio routine, then recreational
to be replaced. stuff. You still had a lot of free
time, but lunch and dinner was
communal where you had to sit
down with everyone.
8 SHINE WINTER 2021
They taught you
all the practical things
like going down the
street, crossing the
road and dealing with
gutters. So when you
got home, it wasn’t
such a shock.
Felicity dismounts onto the ute while her support worker Sandy holds Fancy.
“They taught you how to dress “Being in a wheelchair hasn’t ramp onto the platform in my
yourself, to transfer on and off bothered me as much as it might wheelchair and I transfer myself
your chair. And all the practical some others. It’s the cards I was onto Fancy with my arms.
things like going down the street, dealt. You just keep moving “I don’t really need anyone
crossing the road and dealing forward. But I did have a lot of around when I’m riding her, but
with gutters. So when you got support, especially from Andrew. it’s best if there is as horses do
home, it wasn’t such a shock. By 2019 Felicity was have a mind of their own.
“If you were interested pregnant and Elliot was “Dressage works best for
in particular things, they born in September on her my type of disability as my
organised to get you back into grandfather’s 80th birthday – balance point is further back.
that. They took me out to Box so Elliot is named after him. I don’t have the strength to get
Hill where I got on a horse and “The hardest thing when he forward enough in the saddle
rode around on my own.” was a baby, was putting him for eventing or jumping.
into the cot, but most of the
Getting stronger “So I’m classed as a grade 3
things that you think would be para-equestrian. For that grade,
Back on the property at Cowra, a problem you work your way there are specific aids that I can
modifications were needed around – you adapt and you use – like I’m effectively tied to
to Felicity and Andrew’s just have to be organised.” a modified saddle so my legs
house so Felicity could live
are secure, and I can ride with
independently. Finding Fancy two whips.
“When I got home I kept doing Felicity was keen to get back
“Dressage at my grade is
physio and we set up a gym in into equestrian competitions.
only walk and trot. You need
the house. I also started doing “I knew to get back into the a powerful trot to get better
hydro in the pool.” saddle I’d need a stock horse marks. We’ve done some
Felicity says she’s got stronger – they’re quiet and sensible. regional competitions since late
over time. So early last year I bought last year against able-bodied
“I can stand up using my right one with the registered name riders. We’re progressing well.”
leg. It’s not really functional, “Barnetts Fascinator-HSH”
but it helps with rehab and – we call her Fancy. Paralympic hopes
improving bone density. “And the lockdown last year Fancy turns five in August
was good for us because I which is when she’s allowed
could just practise, and Fancy to compete in specific para-
and I could get to know each equestrian events. And
The hardest other. She’s got the right Felicity is thinking about the
thing when he was attitude and has adapted easily. Paralympics in Paris in 2024.
a baby, was putting “I can manage most of Fancy’s “But that might be too soon for
him into the cot, but maintenance. I can take her us. And funding’s a big issue for
most of the things that rugs off and brush her. But my overseas events. So I might have
support worker, Sandy, comes to wait till 2032 when hopefully
you think would be a each day and saddles Fancy and the games will be in Brisbane.”
problem you work your holds her beside an old farm ute
way around. we use as a platform. I go up a
SHINE WINTER 2021
9
Connecting
through
Creativity
Your story through art
The Shine Art Prize was developed to showcase the We were blown
away by your
artistic talent within Lifetime Care and Workers Care responses to our
and to recognise the role of art in maintaining wellbeing. first Shine Art
prize and we’re
very pleased to
present our
2020 winners.
Thank you to
everyone who
submitted entries,
the judges had
a very difficult
time selecting the
winners. Scan the
QR code to view
the full online
exhibition or
click here.
Overall Winner Sculpture
Alison Packwood category winner
Title April is still the cruelest month Craig Bridges
Category Drawing Title Where’s all my homes
Description “April is the cruelest gone
month” is the opening line of the Category Sculpture and 3D
T.S Eliot poem “The Waste Land”. Description This abstract
Alison uses this as a metaphor piece is Craig’s tribute to
for how life feels following a car the NSW bushfires and
accident. The coloured sections his liking for using opal.
represent different aspects of He lost his home in the
the artist’s life since the accident bushfires and had been
including her physical and thinking about the animals
emotional health. that were killed in the fires,
especially the koalas.
10 SHINE WINTER 2021Drawing category winner Digital Category Winner
Sally Crossing David Taylor
Title Keep your eyes to yourself Title True Love
Category Drawing Category Digital and Photography
Description Sally describes her recovery Description David suffered a severe traumatic
as slow and extremely micromanaged. brain injury 20 years ago. He struggled to find a
“Keep your eyes to your self” represents way to express himself.
her dislike of being the centre of all His love of art proved to be a wonderful way to
discussions and conversations. create something that challenged him and gave
him so much satisfaction. This collage, created for
his wife, is evidence that love shines through.
Painting category winner
Asha Prasad
Title Skull with Butterfly
Category Painting
Description This watercolour symbolises fighting
death. Asha felt trapped in her own body like
a butterfly wanting to fly, but unable to.
She saw the death of who she was and of the
entire life that she had built. The skull represents
death. The butterfly symbolises hope, strength
and determination.
SHINE WINTER 2021
11Andrew Njemanze:
wheelchair
entrepreneur
Andrew is a Lifetime Care participant
Andrew on holiday in San Francisco.
The personal trainer felt a sense of hopelessness after his spinal cord
injury six years ago. He is now building a video and photography
business and has a renewed sense of purpose.
Andrew was born in Nigeria and “I did start a law degree, but “My head was pushed
migrated with his parents and after a year I thought this is so into my chest. I never lost
younger brother and sister to boring and got a job doing tech consciousness and I remember
Australia in 2001 when he was 13. support at Optus. You wouldn’t the heat of the road and the
say it was fulfilling, but I stayed terrible pain and thinking about
Loved the sport there five years. I guess I was my parents – like all immigrant
“My first name is actually trying to figure myself out. I parents – wanting so much for
Chetachi, which means learnt a lot about teamwork, their children.”
‘remember God’, but I used my how to persevere, how to deal Andrew was in hospital and
second name, Andrew, when with people in offices.” then rehab for nine months.
we came here. My father was a The accident had severed his
politician back in Africa. I think Fitness and photos
spinal cord at the T3 vertebra.
he felt unsafe and wanted a “But the real core of what I did at He was now a wheelchair user
better life for his family. We that time was fitness and body with limited strength in his
spoke English at home and building. Then I thought, why not upper body.
Australia seemed a good place try and do that for a living?
to go.” So in 2011 Andrew started A big toll
“I went to Ashfield High and working at Fitness First in the One of those Andrew met in
loved it, but mainly for the PE city as a personal trainer. He hospital was a peer support
and the sport. I played soccer did photography gigs as well. education officer and also a
mostly, although I had the “I was even a paparazzo for a Lifetime Care participant called
height of a basketball player. while – staking out celebrities Heidz Haydon (see Heidz’s
It wasn’t that I couldn’t be – but also did weddings and story in Shine Spring 2015).
academic, I just didn’t care lifestyle shots. By 2015 I was Heidz recalls that she and
for it. Soccer was my jam until 27. I felt I was at the cusp of Andrew just clicked. “We were
school was over. becoming someone who knew the same age,” she says, “we
what they wanted to do.” had the same injury level and
One morning in May that year were both keen bikers.”
Andrew was heading to work “The accident had taken a huge
NSW on his motorbike from the mental toll on him because he’d
family home in Ashfield. been so active, and with body
At an intersection Andrew had building it’s what you look like
the green light, but confused that’s important. So being in
signalling between two bus a wheelchair was terrible for
drivers led to Andrew driving him. He was feeling, what’s
straight into the side of one of the point, what’s the point of
the buses. anything? It was very sad.”
12 SHINE WINTER 2021I’ve seen
Andrew grow from
someone who thought
there was nothing to
look forward to to
someone who has got
so much purpose. He’s
just a beautiful and
successful person!
Directing a photo shoot. Working out at Fitness First six months after surgery.
“So he was reserved at first “One day I just froze in my Andrew now has a Batec
but then slowly came out of chair on the footpath. I couldn’t attachment for his wheelchair
his box. He had a lovely sense work out how to go down the that turns the chair into a
of humour – in fact he was slope. I just stayed there for motorised scooter.
hilarious! And he really did well an hour trying to look as if I “I first saw one ridden by Heidz
in rehab.” was enjoying myself. I was too when I was in hospital and I
embarrassed to ask for help and thought I want one of those!
New home no one offered it. Eventually I It’s got big tyres so it can go
But Andrew found it hard just got a cab home. over rough terrain. I can take it
returning home. “But I made myself go into on the footpath or on the road,
“It was so disorienting – like a town again. And now I go in or on flattish hiking trails. I feel
familiar environment you no most evenings to see three or invincible with it. It makes me
longer belonged to. Before I four regular clients. feel part of the human race!”
was used to being tall, but now “With the photography, I knew Andrew has gone overseas
I was short and having to look I was going to have trouble a number of times since his
up at everyone.” lifting cameras. I’ve always liked accident. “I love travelling and
The rented family home creating images so I started I love the great outdoors. New
needed modifications to watching YouTube videos Zealand is my favourite place
accommodate Andrew, but the about how films are made. I on earth. I love the fiords and
owner wouldn’t cooperate, so watched lots of indie movies. the mountains – so beautiful
the family had to move to a I really like the Coen brothers’ and peaceful.”
larger house in Concord. films, their slow pacing, the Heidz and Andrew keep in
“The rooms here are bigger so way they do more with less. I contact. “I’ve seen him grow
I can move around in my chair. did a bunch of online courses from someone who thought
But the only thing we’ve had to on cinematography – I’m still there was nothing to look
add is a ramp. I try to be as less doing them.” forward to,” she says. “He’s now
obviously disabled as possible!” someone who has got so much
It’s my vision
“I felt I had no prospects, that I purpose. He’s just a beautiful
“I started doing commercials and successful person!”
was starting at Year Zero again.
for free. I’d organise the crew
I thought I can’t go back to To see Andrew’s work visit
and the talent – often it was
being a personal trainer; I can’t www.t-rexproductions.com
calling up friends.
do photography.”
“It’s now starting to pay off
Learning about film for me, and my business, T-rex Going home
But Andrew had the time to Productions, is taking off. I
work on it, and eventually he guess I’m more of a director.
was so disorienting
returned to both previous People come to me with an – like a familiar
careers. idea and I can conceptualise it. environment you no
He wanted to go back to work It’s my vision that gives it value. longer belonged to.
at Fitness First and they were I get a lot of fitness-based
keen to accommodate him, but commercials and promotions
at first just the travel into the and now I really want to go
from commercials to film.”
city terrified Andrew. SHINE WINTER 2021
13Jess Emeny:
sister, daughter,
young carer –
her own person
Jess with Jarrod after his accident.
When Jess Emeny’s brother broke his back in a car accident it
changed her life too. She has written her own honest and emotional
account of being the sibling of an accident survivor.
I feel different. Yet I am not the I am a teacher now. I finished Angry at my parents, my
one with a physical injury. In university as planned. I was friends, my community.
most aspects of my life nothing determined to make my Everyone was always asking
has changed. I can still have the parents proud – as if my about my brother. The
life I had always wanted. I can success would somehow lift support was overwhelming
still have my planned career. I the pain we all felt. I graduated for our family and yet I was
can have a family. But I feel the with great marks and it was the uncomfortable answering their
grief. I feel like I could never be best day of my life. questions. It made me angry
the same person I was before But these days I catch myself and I hated that I felt that way.
7 July 2018 when my brother summarising my years of I started ordering my groceries
Jarrod’s life completely changed. university with the traumas that online because I couldn’t
punctuated my studies, rather handle people asking me about
Feeling different
than my personal successes. my brother in the supermarket.
A severed spinal cord. He knew When I’d hear the word
A few weeks ago I was reading
it before we’d even had scans. inspiration I wanted to vomit.
the novel “Wonder”, a story
And he was okay with it. He
about a boy with severe facial My family was moving on with
wanted a green wheelchair he
deformities, to my Year 5 class. life but I was stuck. I was angry
told us as we surrounded him in
We reached the section where and I felt alone. Like no one
the emergency room.
Via, the boy’s sister, explains was looking out for me.
I can walk. I can climb stairs, what it’s like to be a young I remember a discussion with a
but I feel different. Every day carer and how our needs are psychologist only a few weeks
I carry this weight. Some days I often put on hold to support after the accident where I was
forget that it’s there; other days those around us. explaining how I felt, and she
it is all consuming. It’s been
cried. She was the first person
three years since the accident Family dynamics
who showed me that my
and thinking of those first Of course, we understand feelings were justified and real.
moments can still undo me. this but at the same time find
I was so afraid of upsetting my
ourselves lashing out and
family and drawing attention
becoming frustrated. It can be
Every day I so isolating. I remember the
away from Jarrod that it wasn’t
for months that I spoke as
carry this weight. first time I spoke to Mum about
freely again.
Some days I forget it and explaining that I felt I was
Then, with perfect timing, icare
no longer their child. There had
that it’s there; been a big shift in our family provided a wecare mentor. I
other days it is all dynamics. I could understand found out about the structures
consuming. why, but I was also horrified in place to support carers. I
at how resentful and angry I could relax knowing Mum and
had become. Dad had other supports.
14 SHINE WINTER 2021Supporting
young carers
By Lizzy Bowles, Children and
Young People Mentor – wecare
program, and mentor to Jess.
For many young people it can
be hard to manage emotions
after traumatic events and
often, like Jess, they feel alone
or forgotten when other family
members are consumed by the
rehabilitation of a loved one.
Every young person thinks
With her parents Carolyn and Michael. In the classroom. and feels differently and
will experience different
Safe with a mentor I am so proud of my family.
challenges.
We have come out on top
Mum and I have a wonderful
relationship but there are
after so much adversity. I wecare: for young
can now recognise these people
things we can’t talk about
triumphs because I’ve
because our first instinct is The wecare program supports
learned to be grateful.
to protect each other. That is icare families, with services for
what’s so hard about being a I am still learning though. adults and young people.
young carer. Not only are we Occasionally the feelings of
resentment return followed The Children and Young
caring for a sibling but our People’s Program provides
parents – listening to them, instantly by anger at myself
for feeling this way. At these tailored support for those
running errands, keeping our aged 5 to 25.
own problems to ourselves. times I need to reflect on how
well I have been looking after Each participant in the
And at the same time they’re
myself. Have I been giving program is assigned a mentor
looking out for you. It’s a
myself space to feel? Have who uses age-appropriate
difficult situation to find a
I been speaking up when resources to help the person:
balance in.
something bothers me? adjust to additional roles
Immediately I felt safe with my
mentor. I learned there are a The burden remains and responsibilities with
lot of other siblings out there their loved one
I am who I am today because I
who feel like I do. My mentor understand and identify
am a young carer. I care deeply
listened to me, allowed me to with their caring role
for others and understand how
cry and process.
important it is to speak up. make informed choices,
We unpacked my recent life
My brother lives a few hours and
events, my reactions, and every
away from me now but the
time she validated my emotions. discover strategies to
weight that I carry is still
My inner voice was telling manage and regulate
there. Even if he lived on the
me I was being dramatic and emotions during difficult
other side of the world I’d
ridiculous, but I also couldn’t times.
still be a young carer. I’d still
control these emotions. I knew The program hopes to
read Via’s story and tear up
I couldn’t ignore them forever. increase the wellbeing and
because I understand how
We developed strategies and resilience of young people and
tricky a situation it can be.
made plans. connect them with long-term
How wonderful it is to see
We met regularly. We spent a lot someone you care for so support where necessary.
of time working on managing deeply succeed and be
my new relationship with my happy for them. I now know Find out more
family and community. My I am not forgotten. E: wecare@carersnsw.org.au
mentor prompted me to have P: 02 9280 4744
Each day I get up and I remind
conversations with my parents
myself that I am resilient. I Visit: www.carersnsw.org.
and to share how I was feeling.
am a young carer and I am au/services-and-support/
stronger than I think I am. programs-services/wecare,
See Jarrod Emeny’s story in or talk with your icare contact.
Shine Summer 2020.Michelle
and Terry
Happy and healthier
with volunteering
Michelle (right) and her buddy Erica.
Michelle - finding
meaning and fun
Michelle left China at 15 to study as an
Being a volunteer has lots of international student in Australia and create
benefits. It can help you make a new life for herself. Her family remained in
friends, learn new skills, and China and a host family in Sydney became her
home away from home.
even feel happier and healthier.
The intensive English lessons Michelle took
Michelle and Terry were both having trouble before leaving China paid off. She enjoyed life
reconnecting after sustaining brain injuries, in Sydney, settled in Year 10 at school, made
and both struggled with depression and friends and worked part-time as a waiter.
loneliness. Their stories show the positive
But Michelle’s new life was unexpectantly
power of volunteering.
turned on its head. Attempting to cross
The 3Bridges Inclusive a busy road she was hit by a car, thrown
Volunteer Program into the air and struck by another car. She
sustained a severe traumatic brain injury
Funded by icare – 3Bridges, a community and physical injuries, and spent many
organisation – developed an Inclusive months in rehabilitation.
Volunteer Program for people with brain
injury to do meaningful and worthwhile Starting over again
volunteer work. Michelle faced big challenges – she was a
The team use a “buddy” system - with every young girl in a foreign country with a severe
volunteer matched to a buddy. The buddy brain injury and a language she was still
supports the volunteer every step of the way. trying to master.
Read on for how Michelle and Terry bridged Her family had flown over to be with her
the gap after brain injury. but eventually had to return to China when
See more at www.3bridges.org.au their visas expired. COVID border restrictions
mean they’ve not yet been able to return.
Want to try volunteering? “I was depressed for a long time and the
• Talk to your icare contact about injury made me feel very low,” says Michelle.
opportunities. But, with the help of Lifetime Care, her
• People with a brain injury in Sydney rehab team, case manager and support
and interested in the 3Bridges workers, Michelle returned to her studies
program contact: and continued living independently.
P 1300 327 434 Things started to turn around when Michelle
E AlliedHealth@3bridges.org.au registered for the volunteering program
with 3Bridges. “After my brain injury the
volunteering program helped me open up
more to other people.”
16 SHINE WINTER 2021It makes me
happy to meet other
people, I feel like a
normal person again.
Terry’s buddy Lee with Terry.
Michelle was matched with
a buddy, Erica. Together
Terry – a need to work
they spent 12 weeks at Terry has always been a busy man – putting in long hours in
a charity, putting food the fast-paced world of logistics while working casually as
hampers together for people an Uber driver.
experiencing homelessness. Originally from Korea, Terry, his wife Julia and their two
“After doing the volunteering daughters, migrated to Australia a decade ago.
I found my value again as a In 2017 Terry was hit by a car while walking, sustaining a
person and my life became traumatic brain injury that impacted his ability to plan, organise
more meaningful.” and complete complex tasks. He couldn’t return to the high-
Life is brighter for Michelle – speed world he knew and he lost a lot of his sense of connection
she’s made new friends and and purpose.
still catches up with Erica. For Terry it was important to go back to work. He knew his old
“I’m better at talking to job was now too challenging, but he needed something to do.
people now, and I can be “My accident left me feeling very depressed,” he says.
social at volunteering without “I want to work and to help others”.
my buddy,” she says.
Terry tried a few trial work placements but found them
Now 21, Michelle is much less challenging and he also struggled with language barriers. But
nervous about meeting new things improved when he started the volunteering program
people and getting out more. with 3Bridges and worked with a buddy.
“I have made friends and “Having the buddy was much better for me. Having someone
can have fun. I was more to talk to while you do your work who cares for me is good.”
comfortable doing this because
I practised with a buddy first. Terry began volunteering once a week at Meals on Wheels in
Volunteering makes my life Willoughby with the support of his buddy Lee.
more meaningful, and it makes “Lee helps me feel like a normal person, she knows about my
me feel happier.” accident, she understands and that makes me feel better.”
Michelle is looking forward Growing in confidence
to new adventures and
“My English is not good so I talk with my buddy to help me
possibilities ahead and,
communicate. Before I had no-one to talk to, now I have Lee.
more volunteering!
I want to work with other people and be able to talk with them.”
Terry’s conversation skills are picking up and he’s growing in
confidence.
It makes me
“Things are getting better, it makes me happy to be helping
happy to be helping other people. The important thing is doing something – it’s
other people. The much better than staying at home.”
important thing is Terry’s still eager to get back to work and the volunteer program
doing something – is helping him rebuild his work skills one step at a time.
it’s much better than “It makes me happy to meet other people, I feel like a normal
person again. My main goal is to work but it’s better being
staying at home. able to talk to other people.”
17The notice Sharing your news
board highlights, handy
information and
upcoming events.
Jon’s superstar award
We met Jon McWilliam back
in our Shine Summer 2019.
Jon shared how his volunteer
work at Griffith Public School
had given him purpose and
fulfilment on the road back
following his brain injury. In
a community recognition
and thankyou event last year
in Griffith, with over 100
volunteers in attendance, Jon
was awarded the “Superstar”
volunteer’s award, recognised
for his outstanding service,
and described as a person
who “brightens the office”.
Fred’s captaincy Congratulations Jon!
honour
Fred Tabia was assaulted
while working in security
in 2013 and has been
Helping icare has partnered with
living with a traumatic Cerebral Palsy Alliance to
brain injury ever since. younger deliver a range of programs
Fred was recently named adults with for people aged 18 to 35
captain of the Country a brain injury years living with traumatic
Team in the NSW thrive brain injury. Programs include
Physical Disability Rugby one-on-one coaching, social
League competition. workshops, structured peer
Fred regularly plays in support and group getaways.
the comp and the team The programs help
has opened games for participants connect with
some of the first grade others while developing
teams. They didn’t win skills, building independence,
the big City v Country confidence, and having fun in
clash this year, but Fred the process.
led his team with pride The first round of programs
and commitment – well- have recently finished with
done Fred, and watch great feedback.
out for more of Fred’s
Interested in taking up the
story next issue.
challenge?
Interested in playing
physical disability rugby? Visit www.cerebralpalsy.org.au/icare
Check out their website for more info or phone 1300 888 378
nswpdrla.com.au or email ask@cerebralpalsy.org.auSupport for A message from the Agency for Clinical Innovation (ACI)
pain management team.
families
The wecare program has Understanding chronic pain
expanded its range of
Chronic pain is common after a brain injury or spinal cord
family supports and is
injury, but it doesn’t need to stop you, your child or your
now offering:
loved one from living life.
• 1:1 mentoring and
By developing an understanding of pain, and the connection
support programs for
with fatigue, sleep, depression, anxiety, and physical activity
family carers
– along with using a few simple tools and help from the
• online peer support experts – you can learn to manage chronic pain.
meetings
The Agency for Clinical Innovation has developed specific
• small group-mentoring resources to target chronic pain.
sessions
• online carer education Be Pain Smart Clinics Pain management resources
modules to access in • are available for children and online support
your own time. and adults with a brain or For lots of easy-to-use
spinal cord injury in NSW information, resources and
What people have said: • are staffed by doctors, tools about managing and
nurses, physiotherapists, understanding chronic pain
and psychologists with a visit the Agency for Clinical
The group is specialised background in Innovation’s Chronic Pain
such a great lifeline pain management working and Brain Injury website:
together aci.health.nsw.gov.au >
for me to have a laugh chronic pain > brain injury.
• provide a full pain
or a cry at whatever assessment and More information
life is dealing us, an individual pain If you’re not sure if the clinics
in this crazy caring management plan for all are for you, talk with your
attendees icare contact who can help
journey. I crave that with making a referral or
• are free of charge and
hour every month telehealth services may be finding out more.
to have time to get available for people in rural
and remote areas
together. Zoom
• contact for young people: icare has been working
makes it so easy Natasha Haynes – natasha. with ACI, the lead agency
to join. haynes@health.nsw.gov.au for innovation in clinical care
• contact for adults: Regina in NSW, to support pain-
Schultz – bepainsmart@ management initiatives for
royalrehab.com.au people with severe injury.
It’s great to be
able to discuss things
with others and learn
Junior Wheelies Holiday Camps
strategies to cope. I
Remember Raphy from the last issue and how much
think being in a group he loved his day out at the the Junior Wheelies Holiday
situation gives us an Camps? The camps are on every school holidays.
opportunity to learn Who: for ages 6-18 to have
from others. fun and give wheelchair
sports a try.
Where: Newcastle,
Narrabeen & ACT
More information Visit www.wsnsw.org.au/
junior-wheelies-camps
P: 02 9280 4744 or call Joe Shoebridge
E: wecare@carersnsw.org.au on 0439 743 777.Ricky Kemp:
back at work
Ricky is a Lifetime Care participant
How Ricky found his spark after a spinal There were a few hurdles to
jump before Ricky could start
cord injury and was able to return to work. the new job.
Raised in a small rural town “I didn’t think I could go back “My spinal specialist needed to
south of Cowra, Ricky married to work as there aren’t that do some tests to give me the
in his early 20s and started many opportunities for people all-clear. And then the company
an apprenticeship in the local in wheelchairs in country areas. needed to make workplace
electrical contracting business And I can’t really use my hands. modifications which icare has
run by his wife Julie’s parents. “But I got sick of looking at the paid for – like automated door
“I worked with my in-laws for same four walls. And there’s openings and the appropriate
15 years before changing tack only so many hours you can heating and cooling since
and going into the powerline spend watching Netflix,” says people with spinal cord injuries
maintenance industry with the 49-year-old. can’t regulate their body
Essential Energy.” temperature well.
When are you “So instead of being a tradie,
Ricky was driving to work in
2015 when he flipped his car. An coming back? now it’s mainly admin – taking
incomplete C4 spinal cord injury “So in 2018 I started looking calls, quoting and booking jobs,
at possible jobs but never serving at the counter.”
left him with no use of his legs
and minimal use of his arms and followed through with any Help from an app
hands. He was in hospital for applications.”
Ricky uses a stylus attached
more than eight months. Then two years ago his to his wrist to work on the
“Essential Energy were good to father-in-law Bruce left him computer.
me – they kept paying me for a message: “When are you
“It’s a bit slower but it works.
six months after the accident coming back to work with us?”
but eventually they had to “And a lot of the automation
“I wasn’t sure he was serious,”
medically retire me. is run through my phone – like
says Ricky. “But I rang him back
the app to operate the doors,
and he said he was extremely
the aircon, the remote mouse
serious.”
on my computer. Without the
phone I couldn’t do anything.
“I’m having a lot of fun with the
I got sick of looking at the same four job. It’s full-time except I take
walls. And there’s only so many hours you every fourth Friday off.
can spend watching Netflix. “I’ve always loved the electrical
business and this new role
keeps me in the industry.”
We’d love to hear from you! Shine online
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Email shine@icare.nsw.gov.au online edition or
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