Keith Sutherland1 Divine Madness - On the Aetiology of Romantic Obsession
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Keith Sutherland 1 Divine Madness On the Aetiology of Romantic Obsession For personal use only -- not for reproduction Copyright (c) Imprint Academic Abstract: The paper opens with a brief overview of ‘limerence’ or obsessive love disorder (OLD) from the perspectives of psychology, neurology, anthropology, and sociology, but concludes that certain unique characteristics of the condition suggest that it is better under- stood as a form of ‘divine madness’, resulting from the failure of the Platonic ascent of love to follow its natural trajectory. The paper focuses on Plotinus’s model of the erotic ascent from the one to the ONE, drawing parallels with the Indian bhakti tradition and other models derived from transpersonal psychology. The final section explores the distinction between pagan and Christian Platonism and the entailments of the latter for secular perspectives on love. Keywords: limerence; obsessive love disorder; Platonism; Plotinus; bhakti yoga; transpersonal psychology. ‘The greatest of goods comes to us through mania, insofar as mania is heaven sent.’ (Plato, Phaedrus, 244a6) 1. Introduction Although still to be accepted into the APA Diagnostic and Statistical Manual as an acknowledged psychiatric disorder, the symptoms of Correspondence: Email: k.sutherland@exeter.ac.uk 1 Department of Politics, University of Exeter. Journal of Consciousness Studies, 29, No. 1–2, 2022, pp. 79–112 DOI: 10.53765/20512201.29.1.079
80 K. SUTHERLAND limerence, ‘an acute onset, unexpected, obsessive attachment to one person (the limerent object)’, are well known, although the aetiology of the condition is disputed (Willmott and Bentley, 2015). Occam’s razor suggests that we should always privilege naturalistic explana- tions for medical conditions (psychiatric and otherwise), but the claim of this paper is that the unique phenomenology of limerent infatuation is such that it is better understood as a form of ‘divine madness’, resulting from the failure of the Platonic ascent of love to follow its full course. The characteristics of limerence are as follows: 1.1. Focus on the one Although many of those who are predisposed to limerence are serial For personal use only -- not for reproduction offenders — there could be a number of ‘limerent objects’ (LOs) over a lifetime — the author has yet to hear of a single case of someone Copyright (c) Imprint Academic with a limerent attachment to more than one person at a time. Limerent stalkers (for example Edward Vines’ 25-year obsession with Newsnight presenter Emily Maitlis) always have a single target. It’s easy to explain the stalking of random females on a Saturday night in terms of common-or-garden sexual predation, but why the focus of the limerent obsessive on the one? Why not two, or even three? Given that most adult females are exchangeable vehicles for gene propaga- tion, the standard Darwinian sexual selection model doesn’t apply as males are optimized to spread their seed as widely as possible. And even if the (male) stalker has a preference for a particular type — long-legged blonde or whatever — there are a large number of potential alternatives. Yet only THE ONE will do for the limerent obsessive, and this is hard to understand from a purely Darwinian perspective. The argument of this paper is that this is more than a semantic quibble — the limerent obsessive and the Saturday-night stalker are different in kind. In the eyes of the former, there is only ONE limerent object — the condition entails the ‘inability to react limerently to more than one person at a time’ (Tennov, 1979/1999, p. 24). For female limerent obsessives, the focus on the one would make good biological sense, given that the ovum can only be fertilized by one sperm, so the female would naturally seek the best donor availa- ble. This would suggest that biological females are more prone to limerent obsession than males, but there is no evidence to suggest a gender disparity (ibid., pp. 210, 214).
DIVINE MADNESS 81 In her classic work Love and Limerence, first published in 1979, the psychologist Dorothy Tennov (who coined the term) argues that although limerence is always directed at a potential sexual partner, most sufferers value physical consummation far less than other signs of reciprocation from the ‘limerent object’ (LO) — ‘the goal, the climax of the limerent fantasy, is not sexual union but emotional commitment’ (ibid., p 39; pace Freud, 1933; H. Ellis, 1936; A. Ellis, 1960; Fromm, 1956). Whilst Tennov views ‘real’ love as more akin to mutual affection (storgē in Greek parlance), she draws a categorical distinction between limerent attraction and lust — the former being a misdirected version of a love that is not ultimately sexual in nature. This would also suggest that limerence has little to do with sexual For personal use only -- not for reproduction objectification, whereby a person is viewed as an ‘inhuman body’ (Nussbaum, 1995; Vaes, Loughnan and Puvia, 2014), as the over- whelming majority of Tennov’s interviewees were well acquainted Copyright (c) Imprint Academic with their LO and it was inconceivable to them that the LO could be replaced by someone with similar objective characteristics. 1.2. Ubiquity and intensity When she was employed as a social worker charged with moving geriatric patients from a psychiatric hospital into community care, Olivia Fane (2020) was astonished to find from reading their case notes that a large proportion were hospitalized as the result of an unrequited love affair. Such is the intensity of the passion that it ‘literally destroyed them’ (their psychic well-being, that is). Whilst the condition can sometimes be normalized after a few months, there are cases of it lasting decades or a lifetime — even when all contacts with the LO have been severed. The intensity of the pathology is shown by the fact that Edward Vines was jailed for three years for defying twelve court orders in his 25-year-long harassment of Newsnight pre- senter Emily Maitlis. As a Cambridge graduate, Vines was presuma- bly an intelligent and (otherwise) rational individual, yet he was prepared to risk everything on account of his infatuation with Maitlis.2 2 Whilst this paper uses Vines’ obsession with Maitlis as a prime example of limerent obsession, it is orthogonal to the psychological literature on parasocial relationships (one-sided obsession with a celebrity) in that they knew each other whilst under- graduates at Cambridge, long before Maitlis acquired celebrity status. In ‘Her Group’ (of 400-odd limerents) Dorothy Tennov only had one example of parasocial relation- ships — a girl who had a fixation on Paul McCartney (Tennov, 1979/1999, pp. 83–6).
82 K. SUTHERLAND Fane, in her book chapter which inspired this paper, observes that ‘the symptoms of infatuation seem to have been the same in all cultures and for all time’, but is content to reduce this to species-wide bio- psychological commonalities, albeit expressed sometimes as boiling of the blood (Aristotle), condition of the soul (Galen), epilepsy (Arabian physicians), romantic love (medieval Christendom), or possession (Western modernity). Her conclusion is that romantic infatuation is a form of madness (Fane, 2014, pp. 95–9). But how could such a universal form of madness develop? Can evolutionary psychology (EP) come to our rescue? Fane notes that obsessive love affects exactly the same part of the brain as anorexia (ibid., p. 98), and there is a plausible EP narrative that claims anorexia For personal use only -- not for reproduction was a valuable adaptation in the EEA (environment of evolutionary adaptedness) during times of famine. But it’s hard to imagine a plausi- ble EP hypothesis for the acquisition of a ‘cognitive module’ that Copyright (c) Imprint Academic would predispose someone to limerent attachment. For a start the EEA for humans is the hunter-gatherer period where humans spent over 99% of their evolutionary history, and it was the tribe rather than the nuclear family that was the dominant social institution at the time — genetic studies suggest that monogamy evolved less than 10–20,000 years ago (Dupanloup et al., 2003). ‘It takes a village to raise a child’, as the saying goes, and limerent attachment would have obstructed the widespread food sharing that is a characteristic of hunter-gatherer societies. And even though family bonding is of value in the extended developmental process of the human neonate, there is no evidence that romantic infatuation is the best way of establishing long-term pair bonding (Fane dismisses it out of hand on the following page of her essay). Although limerent attachment clearly enables the lover to overlook the flaws in the other party that might otherwise cause a budding relationship to be ‘shipwrecked on the reefs of human imper- fection’,3 once the condition has passed, the disillusion can lead to an equal and opposite reaction. Arranged marriages tend to last longer than couples that came together through a passionate attraction, so it’s hard to see that limerence has any survival value that would be privileged by natural (or cultural) selection. 3 I am grateful to Professor Gerard Casey for this observation.
DIVINE MADNESS 83 1.3. Specificity Limerence has been likened to alcoholism and other forms of drug addiction, but would appear to be far more specific, and therefore more difficult to treat via cognitive and behavioural therapies. Although an alcoholic may have a favourite tipple, the craving can be sated by a wide range of alcoholic beverages, and heroin addicts can be weaned off with methadone and other substitutes. But it’s hard to imagine that Edward Vines would have been prepared to accept even a near-identical clone of Emily Maitlis — there was only ONE person who could satisfy his unrequited passion. If limerence were like any other form of addiction the parallel would be to someone at an AA meeting confessing that they were addicted to Château Lafite For personal use only -- not for reproduction Rothschild 6 September 1970. In addition, most alcoholics and drug addicts are all too aware of their illness (and would like to be cured), Copyright (c) Imprint Academic whereas the limerent simply sees himself as being in love. Comparisons have been made between limerence and obsessive- compulsive disorder (OCD), as they share a common neurochemical signature (reduced serotonin levels). But although OCD is specific — in the sense that a mysophobe is unlikely to be also (say) a compulsive hoarder — nevertheless the mysophobe is obsessive about all germs. Limerent obsession, however, is focused on one person, so it is hard to see that it has much in common with OCD. Furthermore, there are no examples in the limerence literature of the ritual behaviours adopted by OCD sufferers (locking and unlocking a door or flicking a light switch a specific number of times). There might be some parallel with sufferers from intrusive thoughts but, although there is generally a single theme (violence, sex, religious blasphemy, etc.), the condition does not generally involve a unique person as a target. If it did, then it would be an example of the ‘dark’ side of limerent infatuation (see p. 94, below), rather than a variant of OCD. Psychology is strangely silent on the causes of limerence or ‘obsessive love disorder’ (OLD), merely pointing out that it shares a common neurological signature with other forms of obsession and addiction. Neuroscientists have recorded activity in the ventral teg- mental area of the midbrain (associated with euphoria and addiction) when people ‘truly, madly and deeply’ in love were asked to think of their beloved (Fisher et al., 2016), along with reduced activity in the area responsible for critical thought (Bartels and Zeki, 2004). But it is hard to see how this demonstrates ‘that passionate love served to guarantee mate selection, long-term romantic relationships and the
84 K. SUTHERLAND survival of our species’ (Karandashev, 2015). No wonder the reductive assumption of cognitive neuroscience — whereby psychol- ogical processes are ‘explained’ by isolating them to localized brain regions — has been lampooned as ‘The New Phrenology’ (Uttal, 2003). Even if a reliable biomarker for OLD were found, this doesn’t explain how the condition develops — heroin addicts become hooked on account of using the drug, whereas OLD appears to be largely fuelled by the absence of interaction with the LO. The social psychol- ogist Jonathan Haidt’s best-selling book The Happiness Hypothesis (2006) has a chapter devoted to love and attachment, but the word ‘obsession’ doesn’t even appear in the index. The psychological For personal use only -- not for reproduction understanding of attachment can be traced back to the experiments of Harry Harlow which tested Freud’s theory (which he appears to have borrowed from St. Augustine’s Confessions) that the infant’s libido is Copyright (c) Imprint Academic derived from attachment to his mother’s milk, which is then extended to the object with the breast providing the nourishment (Harlow and Zimmerman, 1959). Harlow’s experiments refuted both Freud’s theory and behaviourist notions of operant conditioning by demonstra- ting that the softness of the surrogate mother (a bundle of cloth) was more important than the source of nourishment (a milk tube from a ‘mother’ made of wire). But why would this develop into an attach- ment to a unique person, especially given Conrad Lorenz’s experi- ments demonstrating that a duckling is perfectly happy to imprint itself on anything that moves (Lorenz, 1935). And is OLD/limerence a result of excessive or inadequate maternal bonding? I don’t believe this has been put to the test. Modern psychiatry seems happy to follow the same path as its reductive forebears — the current fad for cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) merely adding to the old animal behaviourist model the view that the brain is a digital device that can be reprogrammed at will.4 CBT practitioners pride themselves in having no interest what- soever in how or why a condition developed, they merely offer a diag- nosis and ‘fix’ that works at least as well as pharmacological 4 The Platonist philosopher and novelist Iris Murdoch anticipated CBT with her acerbic remarks on ‘existential behaviourism’. Her collection of essays, The Sovereignty of Good (1970/2001), is a critique of the dominant perspective on philosophy of mind at the time, according to which ‘atomised’ individuals choose both their identity and moral personality, detached (magically) from biological, social, and religious constraints (ibid., p. 46).
DIVINE MADNESS 85 intervention. CBT is a uniquely Western phenomenon, the child of the European Enlightenment, and its positivistic progeny: People raised in this cultural tradition may never have questioned the idea that reason is separate from emotion or that humans exist as separate individual selves, disconnected from each other and from the social and natural world. It can seem natural to talk about humans as if they are a type of machine — for example, the brain as a computer… It also seems natural to talk about thoughts and feelings as ‘irrational’ and try to use the power of reason to change them. (Boyle and Johnstone, 2020, p. 151) The origins of CBT can be traced, via Paul Dubois’ ‘rational per- suasion’ school of psychotherapy, Albert Ellis’s Rational Emotive For personal use only -- not for reproduction Behavioral Therapy (REBT), and Aaron Beck’s Cognitive Therapy, back to the Stoic philosophy of Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius (Robertson, 2020, p. 17). Modern Stoics emphasize ‘the role of Copyright (c) Imprint Academic responsibility, rationality, and self-disciplined observation of one’s own mind as a means of modifying psychological well-being’ (Still and Dryden, 1999, p. 149). CBT developed at the same time as Rational Choice Theory (RCT) in behavioural economics and shares a common perspective regarding the atomized individual as a freely- choosing rational agent intent on optimizing her own (self) interests. Person-centred therapist Brian Thorne observes that, in addition to lending itself to the (reductive) ‘spirit of the age’, CBT is ‘attractive to those who hold the purse strings because its principles can be quickly taught to psychiatric nurses’ (Thorne, 2020, p. 238). 1.4. Cultural influences The literary critic Gaston Paris suggested that romantic infatuation is an Occidental cultural construct invented by French troubadours in the twelfth century (Paris, 1883). However, anthropological surveys have found evidence for it in 88% of human cultures — in the remainder the ethnographic record was too thin to be sure either way (Jankowiak and Fischer, 1992; pace Stone, 1989). And, given its cross-cultural ubiquity (Fischer, Shaver and Carnochan, 1990; Shaver, Morgan and Wu, 1996), one has to question whether limerence/OLD is indeed a psychological disorder. Excessive hoarding might be an eccentric pastime but it isn’t a psychiatric illness. However, if limerent infatua- tion harms the flourishing of either party (or their families) then it is certainly dysfunctional from a social perspective, but is it appropriate to ‘medicalise thoughts, feelings and behaviour that are unusual or
86 K. SUTHERLAND differ from the norm’ (Boyle and Johnstone, 2020, p. 10)? Unlike the diagnosis of physical illness, there is no clear correspondence between subjective states and neurology, so ‘the transformation of people’s thoughts, feelings and behaviour into symptoms and illness categories has to be based on subjective social judgments and what are believed to be normal ways of thinking, feeling and behaving’ (ibid, p. 20). The chair of the committee that drew up the fourth edition of the DSM likened the process to ‘two monkeys throwing darts at a diagnostic board’ (Frances, 2013, p. 175). The DSM is largely a political document — written by a committee, with some categories of disorder decided by vote, its framework so often disputed that a new version of the manual (with a completely For personal use only -- not for reproduction different list of disorders) has to be issued every ten to fifteen years. (Hornstein, 2009, p. 164; cf. Szasz, 1974) Copyright (c) Imprint Academic The compilation process does little more than reflect the cultural mores of our time — nineteenth- and early twentieth-century ‘mental disorders’ included both homosexuality5 and drapetomania (a ‘psychiatric condition’ that caused black slaves to abscond), and there was no exclusively male counterpart to the female mental disorder of ‘nymphomania’. However, Dante’s limerent obsession with Beatrice Portinari (see p. 97, below) was not seen as a sign of psychiatric illness in late medieval Florence, and it didn’t result in his social ostracism — Beatrice and her friends merely laughed at him. Not so in modernity where ‘the alienation of human culture has so infected our understanding of this desirous love that we can only think of it as either a dangerous throwing away of self upon another or as a manipulative attempt to possess another for our own gratification’ (McIntosh, 1998, p. 168). The difference between the ecstatic poetry of Dante’s Vita Nuova and the secret torment of the limerent sufferers described in Tennov’s book is that, whereas the former was a proud public Confession of love, the latter only ‘fessed up under strict con- ditions of anonymity (all names were changed). The overwhelming majority of the limerents in Tennov’s survey were (otherwise) ‘fully functioning, rational, emotionally stable, normal, nonneurotic, nonpathological members of society’ (Tennov, 1979/1999, p. 89). According to her extrapolation from her survey results, limerence is not a ‘mental illness’ — it is an extremely 5 At the 1973 APA Convention, homosexuality was deleted from the DSM roster by a 60/40 majority vote, under pressure from gay-rights activists (Casey, 2021a, p. 48).
DIVINE MADNESS 87 common condition which could well affect some 42% of all adults (herself included), and which affects males and females equally (ibid., pp. 181–2, 210). Perhaps this is the reason that limerence/OLD has not yet been accepted into the DSM as an acknowledged psychiatric disorder. In sum, it is really hard to explain the aetiology of romantic obsession in naturalistic terms (whether using evolutionary, neurol- ogical, psychological, anthropological, or sociological modelling), on account of the intensity and specificity of the condition. We may well need to look elsewhere, especially given the universal limerent delusion of amour toujours, ‘a love that will last for ever and is always there’ (Karandashev, 2015, p. 4). For personal use only -- not for reproduction 2. A Divine Madness Copyright (c) Imprint Academic The goal of limerence is not possession, but a kind of merging, a ‘one- ness’, the ecstatic bliss of mutual reciprocation… a transcendent state that has no parallel in human experience unless it be that of the religious mystic. (Tennov, 1979/1999, pp. 120, 166) The One is both the self-loving source of the derivation and articulation of all reality in levels of unity and love and the ultimate goal of the soul’s longing, whose return to its source is a gradual transformation of the love it originally received from the One. (Bertozzi, 2021) The claim of this paper is that OLD/limerence is easier to understand as the result of a spiritual transformation gone wrong, the particular model adopted here being the Neoplatonic ascent of love. Plato’s original template posits a continuum of ‘erotic’ attraction, starting with the love of beautiful bodies and ending with the abstract love of ‘The Good’ (under the aspect of Beauty). According to Socrates’ speech in The Symposium, the lover who is initially attracted to a single beautiful body soon realizes that the beauty of one body is closely related to that of another, and will then despise his passion for a particular body as petty. The erotic ascent then progresses from the love of beautiful bodies (plural) to beautiful minds and the beauty of the laws and knowledge, before realizing that these are just individual instances of beauty in general. The zenith of the ascent is contempla- tion of the Beauty of the unchanging Good. The ascent is from lust for a single body to contemplation of the single Good, from the one (via the many), back to the One (Bertozzi, 2012, pp. 48–9). The indubitably earthly, physical lover is shaken to his depths by the encounter with beauty, which is to say, once again something earthly,
88 K. SUTHERLAND physical, apparent to the senses. But in that overpowering emotion he is carried out of the dimension of the here and now, becomes unborn and imperishable, and his emotion cannot be satisfied with anything less than the Whole, the Totality of being, truth, goodness, beauty. (Pieper, 2000, p. 76) Plato did not hold physical beauty in high esteem, and used the same term — καλός (érōs) — for ‘beautiful’ at every level of the ascent (Bertozzi, 2012, p 56). Socrates’ mentor, the prophetess Diotima of Mantinea, argued that beauty of minds was more valuable than that of the body and that someone should be treasured ‘if [he] has goodness of mind even if he has little of the bloom of beauty’ (Plato, Symposium, 210b). Given that the apex of the ascent is the Good, then For personal use only -- not for reproduction clearly goodness of mind is a better indicator, as beauty is only a proxy in the adjectival sense (the ascent to the Good, under the aspect of Beauty). Love of physical beauty, however, is for most mortals the Copyright (c) Imprint Academic realistic starting point of the ascent, as it ‘shines forth in the realm of the sensible… it makes the ultimate desideratum nearer to the sensible condition’ (Bertozzi, 2012, pp. 59, 73), whereas other aspects of the Good (Justice, Temperance, etc.) are only accessible to ‘a few indi- viduals’, and ‘through dulled organs’ (Plato, Phaedrus, 250b1): For of all the sensations coming to us through the body, sight is the keenest: wisdom we do not see with it — the feelings of love it would cause in us would be terrible, if it allowed some such clear image of itself to reach our sight, and so too with the other objects of love; but as it is, beauty alone has acquired this privilege, of being most evident and most loved. (ibid., 250d1–5) As Socrates explains, what we call love (érōs) is precisely this experi- ence of Beauty in beautiful things, which allows an ascent to the Intelligible (ibid., 249c2). ‘As the light of the sun makes the pleasant shade of the tree exist and appear, so the Good makes Beauty shine in all things beautiful’ (Bertozzi, 2012, pp. 70–1). Phaedrus (250b1–c1) indicates that Platonic érōs should not be understood as sexual energy (Bertozzi, 2012, p. 73; cf. Moravcsik, 1971, p. 291; Roochnik, 1990, p. 120; Allen, 1991, pp. 58–9). The claim of this paper, pace Freudian sublimation theory, is that limerent obsession is the pathology that occurs when the Platonic ascent to the Good (under the aspect of Beauty) goes wrong: The madness of the man who, on seeing beauty here on earth, and being reminded of true [divine] Beauty, becomes winged and, fluttering with eagerness to fly upwards but unable to leave the ground, looking
DIVINE MADNESS 89 upwards like a bird, and taking no heed of the things below, causes him to be regarded as mad. (Plato, Phaedrus, 249d5) The principal thrust of Socrates’ argument in Phaedrus is that love (pace Lysias and his Sophist friends) is a benign force that, by cutting through humdrum quotidian concerns, brings us into contact with the divine via theia mania — a god-given state of ‘being-beside-oneself’ (Pieper, 1995, p. 9). As Kant noted, there is a kind of horror associated with beauty that leads us beyond ourselves, to transgress our temporal and spatial limitations, to glimpse the ‘really real’ that evades our grasp and can only be sensually signalled to us through this strange encounter with the unaccountable source of our yearning (Jenkins, 2019; cf. Fane and Harris, 2020). It was this encounter with For personal use only -- not for reproduction the sublime that led the protagonist in Thomas Mann’s novella Death in Venice to completely renounce his earlier duty-bound and work- Copyright (c) Imprint Academic aholic life — a renunciation that is not entirely unlike that of the religious mystic — as death to him was preferable to separation from the source of his intense (but painful) joy. In such cases there is a complete transcendence of rational self-interest. Christopher Rowe, the editor of the Penguin edition of Phaedrus, observes in a footnote that such a person is mad, but only because the divine possesses him, so people regard him as mad, but for the wrong reasons — ‘that he is truly possessed goes “unrecognized by the many”’ (Plato, 2005, n. 118). ‘What the (true) lover really loves, according to Socrates, is actually Beauty, not any particular beautiful person’ (ibid., n. 119). Socrates goes on to say that this form of mad- ness is ‘the best of all kinds of divine possession’ (Plato, Phaedrus, 249c1). Mann’s novella, Death in Venice, is a modern reworking of Platonic theory (although you might not recognize that from the movie): His eyes took in the proud bearing of that figure [of the beautiful youth Tadzio] there at the blue water’s edge; with an outburst of rapture he told himself that what he saw was beauty’s very essence; form as divine thought, the single and pure perfection which resides in the mind, of which an image and likeness, rare and holy, was here raised up for adoration… It is only through the medium of some corporeal being that [the soul] can raise itself again to contemplation of higher things. Amor, in sooth, is like the mathematician who in order to give children a knowledge of pure form must do so in the language of pictures; so too the god, in order to make visible the spirit, avails himself of the forms and colours of human youth, gilding it with all imaginable beauty that it may serve memory as a tool, the very sight of which then sets us afire with pain and longing. (Mann, 1971, pp. 46–7)
90 K. SUTHERLAND Plato explains the overwhelming attraction of beauty in terms of our memory of divine Ideas experienced prior to our physical incarnation. Whilst this might be metaphysically challenging (at least to non- Hindus), naturalistic explanations of the universally powerful attraction of human beauty are unpersuasive. No doubt physiognomic symmetry might be a sign of good health and fertility, but the correla- tion is weak and it still doesn’t explain why we find such features beautiful. Indeed, it is hard to make sense of the notion of beauty without reference to the noumenal Idea of Beauty — as to account for the beauty of a given thing by pointing at its colour, shape, or any other sensible feature which could well account for another thing’s ugliness ultimately means not to account for its beauty (Bertozzi, For personal use only -- not for reproduction 2012, p. 55). The Idea is the necessary (a priori) factor to account for the way in which a thing manifests itself (Spade, 1994, pp. vii–viii; see also Rosen, 2005, pp. 257–8). Copyright (c) Imprint Academic In his treatise The Idea of the Holy, Rudolf Otto draws a parallel between the contemplation or ‘divination’ of the numinous and the recognition of beauty: While it is still crude, a feeling or fore-feeling of the beautiful begins to stir, which must come from an obscure a priori conception of beauty already present, else it could not occur at all… When his taste has been educated, the man rejects with strong aversion the quasi-beautiful and becomes qualified to see and to judge rightly, i.e. to recognize as beauti- ful the outward object in which the ‘beauty’ of which he has an inward notion and standard really ‘appears’. (Otto, 1923, p. 148) Social conditioning is an equally implausible explanation, as there are strong cross-cultural and a-temporal commonalities as to the human qualities considered to be beautiful, so it really is puzzling. When the Indian gambler in the Amazon Prime series Sneaky Pete says to the beautiful croupier that she had been ‘put on earth in order to remind us of God’, he was not speaking figuratively — echoing Socrates’ observation that earthly objects are only beautiful in so far as they remind us of our encounter with the divine before we fell to earth (Plato, Phaedrus, 250a). Or (going from the ridiculous to the sublime), in the words of St. Gregory Palamas’s homily on the dormition of the Mother of God: ‘Wishing to create an image of all beauty, and to manifest clearly to men and to angels the power of His art, God truly created Mary all-beautiful’ (P.G., CLI, 468 AB).
DIVINE MADNESS 91 2.1. From appetitive to donative love Some scholars (Nygren, 1953; Vlastos, 1973; Nussbaum, 2001) have argued that the erotic ascent in Plato is purely appetitive and uses the beloved as a means to an end (the attainment of immortality), in sharp contrast to the conception of unconditional donative agápē love in the Christian tradition (see section on Christian Platonism, below). Apart from Diotima’s claim that the Lower Mysteries give birth to beauty, and the Higher Mysteries to beautiful speeches, there is scant support in Symposium for the view that the ascent should turn érōs as lack/ need into a creative and self-giving activity. However, R.A. Markus does make the claim that the higher stages of the ascent, which involve a Love of Beauty itself by itself with itself, transforms a For personal use only -- not for reproduction deficiency into a desire to give and create: ‘a kind of generosity rather than a kind of need. It culminates in togetherness with the object loved Copyright (c) Imprint Academic and in a creative bringing forth in its presence from the lover’s super- abundance’ (Markus, 1955, pp. 225–7). Pieper agrees: Plato also holds that the love which has ascended to behold the source of beauty is so transformed that it leaves all selfish volition far behind it; it can best be described as ‘adoration’. Certainly this emerges from the conclusion of Diotima’s reported speech. (Pieper, 2000, p. 96) Bertozzi, whilst acknowledging that Symposium is thin on evidence for the transformation of érōs from appetitive to donative love, draws support from Plato’s Phaedrus, Republic, Timeaeus, Theaetetus, and Laws. However, he acknowledges that he could be accused of anachronism — reading Plato from a Neoplatonic perspective. 3. Neoplatonism The Platonic ascent was modified by Plotinus (204–270 CE), who developed the view that love, which is possessive in its lower forms, becomes increasingly donative at the higher stages of the ascent as the aspirant becomes infused with the qualities of the Good (‘The One’ in Plotinian terms). Plotinus and other Neoplatonist philosophers described érōs as the single force that motivates all life, without which there would simply be no creation or development. But the ease with which the Platonic ascent — drawing us to union with the One — can become decoyed by ‘local attractors’ is nicely illustrated below: What does érōs do? Very simply, it orients and moves the soul toward the Good under the aspect of Beauty. If érōs were lacking, the soul would be aimless, like the demagnetized needle of a compass, unable to
92 K. SUTHERLAND find the North. One will immediately contest that even the magnetized needle of a compass often fails to indicate the North, for instance when someone wearing a belt with a large iron buckle is standing very close to the compass in a direction other than North, say eastward. Far from upsetting or even just weakening the simile, this objection strengthens it, for it is the same force that regulates the direction of the needle, whether toward the North or toward the large iron buckle; in fact, one could say that in this image the buckle plays the role of the North due to its proximity to the compass. Something similar happens to a soul imbued with érōs: it is directed toward Beauty, hence the Good. Surely its direction can change due to the proximity of something partially or qualifiedly beautiful, but if érōs were absent, directedness and motion would vanish altogether. (Bertozzi, 2012, pp. 73–4) In the terminology of this paper, for ‘belt buckle’ read ‘limerent For personal use only -- not for reproduction object’ (LO). The issue, from a psychological, societal, and spiritual perspective, is how best to ensure that the lover’s compass reverts to Copyright (c) Imprint Academic polar North with minimum collateral damage (to both parties). Several strategies (derived from the limerence literature) come to mind: 3.1. Crushing the crush The ‘cold shoulder’ approach usually works for a generic sexual attraction (aka a ‘crush’). Who cares if the chosen belt buckle is not interested — other models are available. But once the obsession with a particular belt buckle has set in, then it’s hard to shake free. A pro- longed absence might do the trick, but is unlikely to work when the limerent and LO live in the same small community (or the LO appears every night on TV). And the attempt to crush the crush generally just deepens it.6 The principal allure of the ice maiden is the belief that a warm heart lies hidden beneath the cold and unresponsive façade. Just as the Holy of Holies is hidden behind the veil in the tabernacle (Exodus 26:31–5), the female veil means that the sinful [low status] man can come no further. Unfortunately experiments with rats and pigeons might predict that ‘limerence can live a long life sustained by crumbs. Indeed, overfeeding is perhaps the best way to end it’ (Tennov, 1979/1999, p. 104). This would confirm the aphorisms 6 Following the work of pyschoanalyst Karen Horney, it has been suggested that romantic infatuation is a form of masochism (Maslow, 1954; Barbara, 1974). If so then LOs who choose the cold shoulder remedy for limerence might benefit from reading Thomas Merton’s story in his book on the Desert Fathers of an acolyte who was so eager for self-abnegation that he paid people to insult him (Merton, 1960, p. 39).
DIVINE MADNESS 93 ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ and ‘familiarity breeds contempt’. Needless to say, from the perspective of Neoplatonic spirituality, crushing the crush simply negates any potential for spiritual develop- ment that may have been present in the initial erotic attraction and often leads to the psychopathologies described in the next section. And, assuming a confluence between Platonism and Christianity (see section on Christian Platonism), those who seek to crush the crush run the risk of committing the only blasphemy that cannot be forgiven by God (albeit in an altogether different context)7 (Matthew 12:30–32; Mark 3:28–30; Luke 12:8–10; Luke 6:37). Whether or not a particular manifestation of love is a gift of the Holy Spirit is not for us mortals to For personal use only -- not for reproduction judge (Luke 6:37), and St. Paul insists that without love the other attributes of the spirit (glossolalia, healing, prophecy, knowledge, or even ‘a faith that can move mountains’) are no better than resounding Copyright (c) Imprint Academic gongs and clanging cymbals (1 Corinthians 13:1–2). Olivia Fane translates érōs into the German Sehnsucht — ‘a com- pound of the word “sehren”, to long for, and “Sucht”, which means anxiety, addiction, obsession’ (Fane and Harris, 2020, p. 38, my emphasis), and agrees with Plotinus, Augustine, and the present paper that the longing is both divine in origin and ‘universal, cross-cultural, and the very essence of what it is to be human’ (ibid., p. 39). She traces the idea back to Virgil’s Aeneid and acknowledges the word Virgil uses (amor) is generally translated as ‘love’, before recruiting the usual suspects (romantic poets and composers) to her cause. All these artists (mis)directed their Sehnsucht towards specific objects, including their fellow humans, yet Fane views love in the form that most humans experience it as the exception that proves the rule. The present paper agrees with Fane that romantic infatuation is a form of madness, but the universality of the madness shows that it is divine in origin, pace her earlier attempt at reductive physicalist explanation (Fane, 2014, pp. 95–9). 7 Cf. Socrates’ claim that Lysias’s speech denying the divine origin of érōs was ‘foolish and somewhat blasphemous’ because ‘love is a god, or something divine’ (Plato, Phaedrus, 242d5, e2). It was through shame (aischyne) that Socrates veiled his head while giving his own (parodic) first speech. The Greek deities appear to be more forgiving of blasphemy than the Christian God, as Socrates was able to atone for his ‘libel’ with a palinodia: ‘Socrates wishes to recant his shamefully false speech by a second speech on Love’ (Pieper, 2000, pp. 41–2).
94 K. SUTHERLAND 3.2. Consummation It is rare for obsessive romantic attraction to survive the transition from Sehnsucht to actualité, and if it does it can lead to further pathologies, such as jealousy and possessiveness: Oh, beware, my lord, of jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on. (William Shakespeare, Othello) This is an example of the ‘dark’ side of limerent infatuation, illustra- ted by the saying ‘there’s a thin line between love and hate’. The principle is nicely illustrated by the mood swings experienced by William Hazlitt during his infatuation with Sarah Walker: For personal use only -- not for reproduction In her sight there was Elysium, her smile was heaven, her voice was enchantment; the air of love waved round her, breathing balm into my heart: for a little while I had sat with the Gods at their golden tables, I Copyright (c) Imprint Academic had tasted of all earth’s bliss. (Hazlitt, 2008, p. 65) But then just a few months later: The cockatrice, mocks me… She started up in her own likeness, a serpent in place of a woman… gliding from me after inflicting the mortal wound, and instilling deadly poison into every pore. (ibid., p. 97) The same brain areas are activated by love and hate, and both lead to extreme behaviour (Zeki and Romaya, 2008). This is entirely con- sistent with Neoplatonism, which views all human motivation as sub- ject to a single ultimate cause. A proximal attractor can pull the magnetized needle away from polar North (it could even swing it through 180 degrees) and the tug of the dark horse can easily come to dominate the trajectory of the chariot (Plato, Phaedrus, 254a5). The transformation of love into hate is accentuated by the cycle of action, impression, and desire described in the Vedas as vasanas (karmic imprints, or logismoi in the language of Athonite Christianity). Carl Jung makes a similar point in his Spiritus Contra Spiritum letter on addiction: ‘His craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst for our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God’ (Jung, 1961). How to convert a craving for spiritus (alcohol) into a spiritual awakening is the difficult challenge, and Jung’s solution requires ‘real religious insight or the protective wall of human community’ (ibid.). Bertozzi’s magnetized needle analogy has a close parallel with the view of sin as hamartia — ‘missing the mark’ in Greek. The skill of archery or spear throwing is to hit the bull’s-eye, but a poor archer
DIVINE MADNESS 95 could end up shooting himself in the foot. Denys Turner makes this point well in his commentary on Augustine’s Confessions: Augustine knows that there is scarcely any limit to the perversity and depravity of human desire. Hence the desire for happiness can be present in desires for utterly self-destructive and self-defeating objects… for nothing can wholly fail to represent the beauty and good- ness of God. No one, therefore, can desire anything so as in every respect to miss the mark of true happiness. Hence, no matter how mistaken may be my pursuit of happiness it is always in some way a desire for God. (Turner, 1995, p. 65, my emphasis) Generally speaking, the course of a love affair is for an initial phase of intense physical attraction to morph into companionship and attention For personal use only -- not for reproduction to the everyday needs of the other (storgē in Greek parlance). This is why the New Testament has little to say on matrimony other than the procreation and rearing of children and the avoidance of fornication, Copyright (c) Imprint Academic leading Luther to downgrade marriage from a sacrament to a contract, with binding rights and obligations on both signatories. Matrimony has nothing to do with the development of unconditional disinterested love (agápē — the high point of the Christian Platonist ascent) — that’s why the Catholic Church requires celibacy of its priests. When someone returns from a hard day at work and finds her dinner on the table, she doesn’t view its provision (by her spouse) as an act of caritas. From a Platonic perspective all true love is unrequited because, as Augustine put it, ‘our heart is restless until it rests in God’ — Plato’s ideal is ‘a soul which receives into its depths the emotion aroused by sensuous beauty, and simultaneously renounces physical gratification of that beauty’ (Pieper, 2000, p. 22).8 If an attraction is consummated, then its erotic energy is converted into mere appetite: The remedy [for infatuation] is to have sex with the beloved. The crush will then disappear within three to six weeks. (Fane, 2014, p. 99) 3.3. Transference Many sufferers from limerence experience it in serial form — moving from one target to the next over the course of a lifetime. Whilst this 8 This is also the message at the heart of the Bhagavata Purana and the Indian notion of asceticism as tapas (heat). Just as a seed that is cooked slowly appears the same from the outside, but cannot germinate, the karmic influences of the vasanas are transformed by yogic practices, thereby breaking the cycle of action, impression, and desire.
96 K. SUTHERLAND might provide relief for the current LO, it is just kicking the can further down the road. 3.4. Friendship Platonic theory views friendship (philia) as a higher form of love than érōs — both the Lysis and the Symposium argue that the role of the erastes was to cultivate the love of wisdom in the eromenos through philosophical conversations, with their power to mesmerize, obsess, and educate. Alcibiades’ love for Socrates (who had an ‘ugly satyr- like body’) in the Symposium was on account of his brilliant mind and discourse. Alcibiades’ attempt to seduce him using conventional means (physical attractiveness) fails. Socrates was condemned and For personal use only -- not for reproduction executed for undermining the Greek norm of paiderasteria — ‘All these men who ought to be chasing boys are presented as besotted Copyright (c) Imprint Academic with Socrates and his conversations’ (Reeve, 2016). In terms of the magnetism analogy detailed above, one has many friends, so the various local attractors cancel each other out. For érōs to transform into philia this needs to happen very early on in the developmental process and can be difficult, particularly for younger sexually-charged people — in Plato’s allegory the disordered part of the soul portrayed by the black horse ‘springs powerfully forward and, causing all kinds of trouble to his yoke-mate and the charioteer, forces them to move towards the beloved and mention to him the delights of sex’ (Plato, Phaedrus, 254a5). There is a parallel between depictions of the chariot as a metaphor for the path of liberation in Plato and the Indian Kaṭha-Upaniṣad (Lupaşcu, 2008, p. 349), which eschews Plato’s dualism of the white and black horses in favour of tapas and yoga (derived from the Sanskrit root yuj — to join, harness, or yoke). Indeed, it might be claimed that all virtues are forms of tapas (Bussanich, 2016, p. 89). In the Upaniṣadic simile, the case is different, as it depicts the central task as ‘controlling’ the mind (i.e. the ‘well-tensed [reins]’, yuktena), whereas the horses — as the senses — are not in themselves ‘bad’, simply because their behaviour can be either ‘good’ (controlled) or ‘bad’ (uncontrolled). The worldly side of the charioteer, his body, senses, etc., is not in itself of an inferior, or ‘evil’, nature. (Schlieter, 2016, p. 182)
DIVINE MADNESS 97 3.5. Bhakti In the Indian tradition, divinization (θέωσις) through love is the spiritual path called bhakti yoga, which generally requires a loving devotion to a personal god, very often in the form of an icon.9 Many religions focus on devotion to personal deities, icons, statues, and relics. Arguably all the Reformation did was to update the reliquary to codex form, in line with the technology of the age. But what happens if the object of devotion is made of flesh and blood? Bhakti yoga is by far the most difficult and perilous of the solutions to limerent obsession considered so far, as it requires discernment, self-knowledge, and ascesis. In many cases of obsessive attraction, the subject believes that the LO is divine — in terms of For personal use only -- not for reproduction Bertozzi’s analogy, the belt buckle would already be facing due North. The vernacular use of words like ‘angel’ by lovers is more literal than Copyright (c) Imprint Academic they might think (Hazlitt, 2008, p. 76). Whenever he sees a godlike face or some form of body which imitates beauty well, he first shudders, feeling something of the fears he had before, then reveres what he sees as a god as he gazes at it and, if he were not afraid of appearing thoroughly mad, would sacrifice to his beloved as if to a statue of a god. (Plato, Phaedrus, 251a–a5) From the Indian bhakti tradition, such an approach might even be encouraged as ‘if one looks upon the beloved as the Chosen Deity, the mind easily turns Godward’ (Ramakrishna, 1942, Chapter 16, No. 756). Dante certainly saw his attraction to Beatrice Portinari in such terms, that’s why in the Divina Commedia she was his guide in Paradiso. Beatrice was only dimly aware of the existence of Dante Alighiere (both were married), and all he craved was her ‘salutation’. Whether it’s Dante and Beatrice, Don Quixote and Dulcinea, St. John Paul II and Anna-Teresa Tymieniecka, or even fictional depictions of Mary Magdalene and Jesus, there is the sense that unconsummated love for a godly person could be part of the θέωσις (deification) process. In every case there is no suggestion of impropriety and there is no requirement for reciprocity (limerence being the inverse of de Clerambault’s syndrome). In Thomas Mann’s Death in Venice, von Aschenbach believed that Tadzio (who he never spoke to) might have acknowledged the attention of his devotee once 9 Obryk (2016, p. 241) draws a parallel between the Indian bhakti tradition and both the personal religion of Socrates and Neoplatonic theurgy.
98 K. SUTHERLAND but accepts that could have been wishful thinking on his part, and in Dale Wassermann’s musical interpretation of the Don Quixote story, ‘Dulcinea’ had nothing but contempt for the love-struck Knight of the Woeful Countenance.10 If anything, the lack of reciprocity is an invaluable safety valve for the developmental process — as Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, laughing uncontrollably, put it in a lecture, ‘I love you and it’s no concern of yours!’ (at this stage the limerent craving for reciprocity has been transformed by the heat of ascetic tapas into a purely donative emotion). Mann agrees with Plato’s Socrates (and Maharishi) that ‘the lover is nearer the divine than the beloved; for the god was in the one but not the other’ (Mann, 1971, p. 48). However, θέωσις through bhakti yoga is an extremely dangerous For personal use only -- not for reproduction path, normally only to be practised under the tutelage of an experi- enced spiritual guide. Referring to the Platonic ascent, Bertozzi notes that ‘there is no guarantee of success in this task; in fact one should Copyright (c) Imprint Academic not even discount the possibility of a total shipwreck’ (Bertozzi, 2012, p. 99). It is also necessary for the soul to be of a certain disposition, ‘such as self-transformation or attunement to the beloved is essentially open to it’ (ibid., p. 319). ‘You must first of all become godlike and all beautiful if you intend to see God and Beauty’ (Plotinus, Enneads, 1.6 [1] 9.33–34). And the ascent is an ‘orderly affair… either to skip a stage or to stop at an intermediary stage will result in the failure to ascend’ (Bertozzi, 2012, pp. 382–4, my emphasis) — the latter leading to the obsessive romantic attachment that is the topic of this paper. This is because the erotic intensity increases incrementally at higher stages of the Neoplatonic ladder, but the corollary (progression from the particular to the general) does not occur if the process is blocked — hence my claim that OLD/limerence is best viewed as the Platonic ascent gone wrong. 10 Don Quixote’s alchemic transformation of the coarse village prostitute Aldonza Lorenzo into the imaginary Dulcinea of Toboso, the very model of female perfection (Cervantes, 2005, p. 91), is a good example of what Stendhal called ‘crystallization’ — the process whereby a branch of a tree left for several months in a salt mine is trans- formed ‘into an object of shimmering beauty’. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as ‘the original naked branch is no longer recognizable by indifferent eyes, because it now sparkles with perfections, or diamonds, which [others] do not see’ (Stendhal, 1975, p. 48). One is reminded of the Revelations of St. Seraphim of Sarov, in which the disciple complains, ‘I can’t look at you Father — your eyes shine like lightning; your face becomes more dazzling than the sun, and it hurts my eyes to look at you’ (Lossky, 1991, p. 228). My suggestion here is that the same Divine Light is responsible for both Dulcinea’s transformation, Stendhal’s crystallization, and St. Seraphim’s transfiguration.
DIVINE MADNESS 99 For, given the continuous nature of the Neoplatonic conception of love — érōs in the service of agápē (Thorne, 2012, p. 63) — it’s hard to tell if the attraction at a particular stage is to the beautiful (con- ceived as a collection of constantly shifting somatic and psychic traits) or the Beauty within them. Are the luminous pools of the beloved’s eyes an invitation to the bedroom, a window on her soul, or the gates to heaven?11 The second and third commandments prohibit worship of other gods and graven images, but Orthodox and Catholic Christians would claim that they are worshipping God through the holy icon or relic, and the same would apply to the worship of the LO by Dante, Don Quixote, von Aschenbach, and other ‘bhakti yogis’. But this is extremely hazardous — although the model is the For personal use only -- not for reproduction Platonic ascent, the reality is more like a game of snakes and ladders (Moksha Patam in the original Indian version) than Jacob’s angelic stairway to heaven. ‘Snakes and ladders’ is an apposite metaphor Copyright (c) Imprint Academic when one considers the depiction of the fall in the Abrahamic religions and the resultant abhorrence of (female) sexuality. 4. The Rapture or the Rupture? But, for those with a commitment to moksha (enlightenment), is there a risk-free alternative?12 Most approaches, both Eastern and Western, assume that attachment to the embodied self is the biggest obstacle to spiritual development. At the risk of over-generalization, there are two distinct approaches to overcoming the self. The via negativa (jñāna yoga in Eastern parlance) is a process of stripping away the embodied tendencies that constitute the individual ego, to reveal the individual self as none other than the cosmic Self (Ātman is Brahman). Writers in the Western apophatic tradition include Pseudo-Dionysius, the unknown author of the Cloud of Unknowing, and Meister Eckhart. The cataphatic path (via positiva) is devotional, as described in this essay. However, the Hindu devotional deity Kali (in sharp contrast to the Blessed Virgin Mary, the principal focus of Christian devotion as the embodiment of grace) is normally depicted with a garland made from the severed heads of her devotees, indicating the destruction of the sense of self of the bhakta. The Red Dakini (the Tibetan Buddhist 11 The contrast between the Platonic language of Lowe-Porter’s translation of Death in Venice and Visconti’s homoerotic movie illustrates the ambiguity involved. 12 From both a Hindu and Neoplatonic perspective all creatures are on a (slow) path to enlightenment, but most of us don’t even know it.
100 K. SUTHERLAND version of Kali) symbolizes ‘wrathful compassion… If you are pre- tentious or hypocritical, she will cut off your head with her dagger and wear it in a garland round her neck’ (Welwood, 1991, p. 154).13 These two contrasting perspectives parallel the observation by Jacob Singer’s spiritual guide in the movie Jacob’s Ladder that the demons tormenting him were really angels purging him of self-attachment: The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won’t let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they’re not punishing you, they’re freeing your soul… But if you’ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels. For personal use only -- not for reproduction Copyright (c) Imprint Academic Mother Divine / Mother of God. This is the doctrine of self-purgation — or ‘purification’ in Plotinian terminology, which is an essential prerequisite to the higher stages of the ascent back to the One. There are no shortcuts. Skipping steps will only lead to failure in the ascent, and living a moral life (and atoning for past infelicities) is by no means superfluous, even if virtue is an inherent characteristic of higher stages of development. ‘Ascent… is a 13 The Indian version depicts Kali dancing on her divine consort Siva, the Supreme Lord who creates, protects, and transforms the universe. The reason that this essay focuses on Kali (rather than traditional Indian bhakti models such as the (mutual) love between Krishna and Radha depicted in the Nārada-pañcarātra) is because it highlights the dangerous nature of this path for the unprepared limerent.
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