John Hall Venice Magazine 2019
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John Hall Venice Magazine 2019
Editor’s Note Im writing this with a serious sense of nostalgia (I’ll try and keep the sentimentality to a minimum, I promise). It’s now been a few weeks since our tearful goodbyes at Heathrow, and now the whole thing feels both like it happened yesterday and like it is just a distant dream. However, if there’s one thing I’ve learnt from my time on JHV, is that the course never really comes to an end: the more that time passes, the more I’ve realised that, not only have the last couple of months been some of the best of my life, but all the stuff that I’ve learnt over the last nine weeks have changed how I see and think, for the better. This alone would be a good reason to go on John Hall, but if you reading now happen to be a potential John Haller, then I promise the course is so much more than any words that I could write here. Finally I think a thank you is more than overdue, in fact I have a whole list of thank yous. To all the lecturers who imparted their wisdom onto us, we’re incredibly grateful to you for giving up your time to do so- I don’t thinks I’ve ever learnt so much in such a short space of time. To the people at the Messner (on the off chance that you might read this), thank you for putting up with us, it probably wasn’t an easy task at times. To Patrizia, who was a constant smiling face and excellent admin skills kept us in the right place at the right time. And finally to Charlie (or should I say Chaz?) and John. I have a feeling that, if we were to fast forward a few years, then all of us will have a lot more to thank you both for; lifelong friendships, lifelong memories and a lifelong affinity with aperol. It is a very strange to think that, without the course, so many paths, thousands if you count the many years that have come before us, would never have crossed.
Meet the Cast of JHV 2019
Alice Garthwaite
Hometown: Essex
What are you up to after JHV:
Hitting up Southeast Asia, then
going to Edinburgh University
Best Thing about Venice: Being
able to get a boat everywhere, all
of the dogs and how close
everything is
Worst Thing about Venice: only
having one club, dog poo on the
streets and evil pizza stealing
seagulls
Favourite Moment of the Trip:
Renting four person bikes on the
Lido and cycling around
Alison Hirsch
Hometown: New York, NY
What are you up to after JHV: Going to Princeton
Best Thing about Venice: Unobstructed sunsets on the Zattere Charlie Cave
Worst Thing about Venice: The birds Hometown: London
Favourite Moment of the Trip: Private tour of St Mark’s Basilica What are you up to after JHV: Travelling around Australia and Asia
Best Thing about Venice: Palazzo Fortuny
Minty Swallow Worst Thing about Venice: The crowds get a bit frustrating
Hometown: North Cheriton Favourite Moment of the Trip: Geoffrey’s Party
What are you up to after JHV: Travelling around Australia and then
going to St Andrews
Best Thing about Venice: The dogs Charlotte Kirkham
Worst Thing about Venice: My pizza chin Hometown: London
Favourite Moment of the Trip: Visiting the Palazzo Grimani What are you up to after JHV: Going to study History of Art in
Edinburgh
Caroline Yun Best Thing about Venice: Corner pub
Hometown: New York, NY Worst Thing about Venice: Seagulls
What are you up to after JHV: Going to Korea for a Language Favourite Moment of the Trip: Going to the Corner Pub
Programme, then to Barcelona to train for squash.
Best Thing about Venice: The gelato, pastries and the price of drinks Cressida Black
Worst Thing about Venice: How bartenders add olives into Aperol Hometown: Shaftesbury, Dorset
Spritzs. What are you up to after JHV: Retaking and then hopefully going to
Favourite Moment of the Trip: Visiting Padua and touching St Durham
Anthony’s Tomb Best Thing about Venice: Pizza, pasta, Apérols and fit gondoliers
Worst Thing about Venice: nearly being hit by a bus while cycling at
the Lido
Favourite Moment of the Trip: Padua and Carnivale week
Daisy Farr
Hometown: Worksop Hattie Lees
What are you up to after JHV: Going to Kenya and then going to study Hometown: Stevenson, Hampshire
History of Art at Brookes What are you up to after JHV: Travelling around South East Asia for 3
Best Thing about Venice: Thursday night karaoke at Orange Bar and a half months, then going to Durham to read Geography
Worst Thing about Venice: The Tourists Best Thing about Venice: The sunsets, the number of dogs and the
Favourite Moment of the Trip: The tour of St Mark’s good-looking gondoliers
Worst Thing about Venice: Seagulls pouncing on your pizza and
Evelyn Arnander over-moussy tiramisu ice cream
Hometown: Mulhouse Favourite Moment of the Trip: Private visit to St Mark’s at night with
What are you up to after JHV: Going to read History of Art at Exeter Nicholas True
Best Thing about Venice: Cheap Apérol
Worst Thing about Venice: Lots of Walking Hebe Rose
Favourite Moment of the Trip: The Canovo Sculpture museum Hometown: Manningtree
What are you up to after JHV: Heading to South America, then heading
Freya Thistlethwayte to Bristol to study History of Art
Hometown: Chute Forest Best Thing about Venice: Nights out at the Arsenale
What are you up to after JHV: Going to Uni in Edinburgh Worst Thing about Venice: The tourists
Best Thing about Venice: Gesuiti Church Favourite Moment of the Trip: Geoffrey’s Party
Worst Thing about Venice: Being attacked by a seagull
Favourite Moment of the Trip: Being chased by a bus on the Lido Heloïse Kverndal
Hometown: Fittleworth, nr Brighton
George Boyle What are you up to after JHV: Going to study Computer Science
Hometown: North Cumbria (probably at Edinburgh)
What are you up to after JHV: Going travelling in Chile then to Best Thing about Venice: Drinks on the Zattere
Edinburgh to read Theology Worst Thing about Venice: Slow moving tourists when I’m late for
Best Thing about Venice: Public transport by boat and unalloyed lectures
beautiful architecture Favourite Moment of the Trip: the Trip to Murano and Burano
Worst Thing about Venice: The lack of greenery and the dog poo on the
streets Henrietta Barham
Favourite Moment of the Trip: the Tour of St Mark’s and the visit to Hometown: Rye, East Sussex
the Villa Barbaro What are you up to after JHV: Going to Madagascar for 10 weeks and
then going to Exeter to read History of Art
Hannah Robson Best Thing about Venice: How all the drinks come with crisps
Hometown: Wiltshire/ London Worst Thing about Venice: That there isn’t a Grom in every square
What are you up to after JHV: Travelling in Vietnam and Cambodia, Favourite Moment of the Trip: Karaoke nights!!!!!
then to either Edinburgh or Durham.
Best Thing about Venice: Nights at Al Billiarde before it was shut Henrietta Buchanan Michaelson
down, the Arsenale, Pitti Pan, And Titian’s painting in the Gesuiti Hometown: Geneva
Church What are you up to after JHV: Working on a safari ranch in Namibia
Worst Thing about Venice: Lack of gluten free food. Best Thing about Venice: Turner-like sunsets and boozy cooking
Favourite Moment of the Trip: Geoffrey’s Party classes with the Contessa
Worst Thing about Venice: The lack of good tea
Favourite Moment of the Trip: Geoffrey’s party
Hussein Al Hussein Lucy Aylmer
Hometown: London Hometown: London
What are you up to after JHV: Retakes, then hopefully History of Art at What are you up to after JHV: Travelling up the East Coast of Australia
Bristol. Or failing that, Leiden (from Melbourne to Cairns)then going to Exeter to read Geography
Best Thing about Venice: The wealth of unique art and architecture Best Thing about Venice: St Mark’s at sunset
one is immersed in CANALS. I do like canals. Worst Thing about Venice: The fact that you have to pay for tap water
Worst Thing about Venice: The cafe at the Guggenheim nows the Favourite Moment of the Trip: The Contessa’s cookery evenings
swarms of tourists into second place. They just charged me 5 euros 50
for a diet coke… bastards Molly Hamilton
Favourite Moment of the Trip: a) Seeing Giotto’s Chapel in the flesh b) Hometown: Leeds
witnessing Tom exorcising his evil ‘spirits’ of drunkenness by What are you up to after JHV: Interrailing then heading to Edinburgh
shouting into a canal. Both were mesmerising experiences. Uni
Best Thing about Venice: The good coffee
Isabel Hunt Worst Thing about Venice: The price of the good coffee
Hometown: nr. Dorchester Favourite Moment of the Trip: Messner suppers (obvs)
What are you up to after JHV: Going skiing after this and then I’ll just
see what happens… Rose Asquith
Best Thing about Venice: How industrialised it is here Hometown: London
Worst Thing about Venice: The walk back from Al Billiarde’s was a bit What are you up to after JHV: Going travelling in South East Asia, then
of a trek and I also don’t like the seagulls very much to be honest camping in Eastern Europe. Going to study History of Art at Cambridge
Favourite Moment of the Trip: Going to Padua and seeing all the Best Thing about Venice: Karaoke nights at Orange bar
churches. Also Villa Barbaro has to be one of my fave things Worst Thing about Venice: Having to hide from all the seagulls in
Campo Santa Margherita
Jess Holt Favourite Moment of the Trip: Seeing all the things I’ve only ever seen
Hometown: Pitlochry (the social hub that is) in books in the flesh.
What are you up to after JHV: Travelling in South East Asia, obviously,
then going to Bristol to read History of Art Rowley Adams
Best Thing about Venice: Clever. Wine. Shop. Hometown: London
Worst Thing about Venice: Piccolo What are you up to after JHV: Going to study Linguistics
Favourite Moment of the Trip: George nearly knocking out the same Best Thing about Venice: Eating Shark
person twice- once with his chair and once with his shoe whilst playing Worst Thing about Venice: All of the goths
the most frantic game of Duck, Duck, Goose, possibly in history. Favourite Moment of the Trip: Watching ‘Beau Travail’
Lara Chapman Sam Tranter
Hometown: Cambridgeshire Hometown: London
What are you up to after JHV: Going to South East Asia, then going to What are you up to after JHV: Working and earning some muneh until
study History of Art at Edinburgh I can afford to go to Vietnam
Best Thing about Venice: Sun, Sunsets and Apérol Best Thing about Venice: Actual Italian food
Worst Thing about Venice: Tourists, Seagulls and Tourists Worst Thing about Venice: Messner food
Favourite Moment of the Trip: Watching the sunset on the rooftop Favourite Moment of the Trip: Geoffrey’s party
and Freya’s chats with the security at the Arsenale
Lily Samarine
Hometown: London
What are you up to after JHV: Making moneyz
Best Thing about Venice: Charles Hope (elope with me)
Worst Thing about Venice: When the streets smell like poo
Favourite Moment of the Trip: kicking down Geoffrey’s wall
Sofia Mcneil Wilson uses very thick gold before they decided to take the whole horses. The
Hometown: East Winch chariot probably long gone before that. The glass bowls with geometric
What are you up to after JHV: Continuing the Grand Tour with Molly and circular designs that could almost be from the 1930,s. Rock crystal
Best Thing about Venice: All pretty spiffing, particularly the Orange lamps modeled as birds. Such a modern look. Almost as if a Senufo
Bar Antics wooden bird from the Ivory Coast. Gilt and Ivory arabesque caskets.
Worst Thing about Venice: Slow walkers
Favourite Moment of the Trip: The Scrovegni Chapel- it was Worst Thing about Venice: The ever expanding tat. Shops piled high
sensational! with Chinese glass. As if made by a blind man in a freezer. The
infiltration of true venetian craftsmanship. The ever disappearing
true venetians, getting away from the disease, foul scummy, grimy,
Sophie Cormack
rubbish filled sewage canals. The crowds, fields of tourists, not
Hometown: Alderley Edge
looking, just photoing. Clogging up the roads like rats. Sure to bring
What are you up to after JHV: Going to South East Asia and the to
the plague back. The foul Messner food. The fried hockey pucks, the thick
Oxford Brooks to study Events Management
thick thick doughy pizza. Mouse portion cheese draped on top. A mere
Best Thing about Venice: The Apérols
smear of tomato sauce. The grey crumbly lumpy tofu. The forever
Worst Thing about Venice: The Seagulls
mystery meat. The antique shops curated by my grandma. Prices as if
Favourite Moment of the Trip: Cooking at the Contessa’s house
they are true pieces of the cross. One of Christ’s 10000 fingers. Crap
Kebab shops not fit to adorn a propers grave. The moan, groan, smoke,
Thea Cottrell splutter and pollution. The towering oversize monstrous beasts. Taller
Hometown: Bath than the highest spire. Dwarfing everyone. Smashing and crashing the
What are you up to after JHV: Studying Sociology at Oxford Brookes palazzos, slowly crumbling them to dust. Roaring as if a chorus of
Best Thing about Venice: Pizza al Volo 10000 lions. The slow destruction of true venetian society. The lack of
Worst Thing about Venice: Having all of your Al Volo stolen by a banishment. Just outcast them. The lack of care for the venetian
seagull streets. Allowing there dogs to crap everywhere. For some unfortunate
Favourite Moment of the Trip: Geoffrey’s Party tourist to squelch in. The seagulls ready to swoop down, dive to steal
your pizza. The mutated pigeons. All needing crutches. Disease riddled.
and last, but certainly not least…
Favourite Moment of the Trip: Cackling and tattling. Snapped by an
Tom Hurst elegant swan. Persuaded by the devil. The night eaten by hyenas.
Hometown: Shroton, Dorset Cackling and tattling. Snapped by an elegant swan.
What are you up to after JHV: I will be continuing to deal in African The humming warehouse. Dancing and prancing into the night. Being
and Oceanic Tribal Art from the early 20th Century and prior to. I will swirled and twirled. Umping and flumping, Ears pumping and
also be doing a few specialist fairs. thumping. Dancing in the streets, screaming in jubilation.. Twirl
Best Thing about Venice: Seeing the bronze horses and ancient glass, around, Drink in the belly. Journeys by sea. Jousting the waves. The
rock crystal and marble objects in St Marks. The bronze and gold water fizzing and wizzing. Half naked at dawn, spinning.
gilded horses, looted from Constantinople. Said to be scratched to
reduce reflection or rather scratched to take the gold as water gilding
Being an Adult* on John Hall *I know we’re all technically ‘adults’, but these are proper ones. Minnie Cecil What a treat to be part of The John Hall Venice Course 2019 and to visit the Salute, St. Mark’s, the Frari and the Scuole San Rocco, to name but a few, with lecturers who were so generous with their knowledge and their time. Lucky me and up with the idea for anyone of any age to take a Gap Year; I think the 2019 Group are all individually very impressive people so they have created their particularly good news group so it was nice for me to be taking part from the wings. Emma Abdy Collins I don’t quite know how it happened but I seen to have gatecrashed a gap year adventure, and I’m a sow in clover. Not only do I find myself in the most intoxicating, spiritual, and magical city in the west, soaking up facts spewed by lecturers who are household names-albeit only in select households- but I’m surrounded by a majestic beauty, and entertained by a bevy of young adults on a daily basis. The JHV course has been food for my brain and all my senses. Everyone should create a gap, not just 18 year olds. A few weeks will do. It’s magic.
Going to Mass in Venice- George Boyle Whether religious or not, going to Mass in Venice is an excellent thing to do. Not only is it a wonderful experience, especially at San Marco, but it will also contextualise a number of the paintings, sculptures, and pieces of architecture that we see on the course. The timings of Mass do vary from church to church as well as there being a number of Masses held throughout Sunday, as well as during the week; normally between 10am and noon, roughly speaking. I would recommend that you try to attend Mass at different churches for the first three weeks and then go to San Marco for the last three (I should have done this, but instead went on my second week here, and was unable to convince myself to go anywhere else, such was the draw of the splendid and beautiful Masses held there. It is 10:30 Mass at San Marco then that I shall attempt to describe. Entering by a door to the left of the main facade you are are at once exposed to a spectacular scene, bathed in golden light emitted from the infinity of tiny golden glass mosaics. The Roman arches, of monumental structure, raise one’s eyes to scenes portrayed on the ceilings in golden mosaic, great artistry by unknown craftsmen. All is marble and gold. It takes a few moments to quite recover from this initial sensual shock. The faint hum of the gathering congregation than drags your mind back to reality and you seek a seat in the nave, as close to the centre of the nave as you can if you wish to see the altar, which holds the sarcophagus of Saint Mark the Evangelist and upon which the sacred mysteries are performed. Having found your seat, you may gaze at the five great Byzantine domes, the rood screen before the altar, the great porphyry pulpit on the right once used by the Doge to present himself to the people, and the remarkable double storied pulpit on the left. Take time to look also at the beautifully elaborate floor in detail beneath your feet. A distant hand-bell rings and all rise for the entrance procession of the priests. A choir, unseen, begins a polyphonic chant of the 15th or 16th Century and it is as thought figures of the saints and angels above you are singing, so heavenly is the sound reverberating through that ancient space that you might think it be so. Catholics amongst you will know what follows as the Norvus Ordo flows on in its unchanging way, punctuated by the polyphonic mass setting of the day. Even if you have no idea what is going on, in that beautiful place, and with pious congregants looking reverently on, it is a really wonderful experience and well worth getting up for after a hard night’s work at Piccolo Mondo., the Arsenale, or maybe just Campo Santa Margherita. When not at mass or The Arsenale, george also enjoys Hot Chocolate
Photo Interlude
More than Just an Art History Trip- Rose Asquith
My name is Rose and I am resoundingly not a scientist. Having spent years at school putting questionable smelling liquids in test tubes
and boiling them, or dissecting frogs legs, or trying (largely unsuccessfully) to make a lightbulb work, my three science subjects went out
of the window as soon as I could chuck them. I’m sure this sounds, at least vaguely, similar to lots of the people reading this; John Hall
Venice is, after all, an Art History course, is it not? And yes, while most of our lectures do have some kind of art historical slant, one of my
greatest surprises upon reading the timetable in depth was the sheer range of subjects that the course covers. Not only art but a number of
matters scientific, film, literature, poetry, music and ecology (I could go on).
So, below, in no particular order, is a collection of things that I have learnt while in Venice, that I did not expect to;
1. That aliens might exist ( but if they do they don’t look like how they do in movies)
2. That we might exist ( google ‘virtual universe for more information)
3. How to tell the difference between stellar black holes and supermassive black holes.
4. That tourism is both a very good thing and a very bad thing for Venice. ( the population has halved in only 50 years, and the constant
cruise ships are destroying its entire ecosystem)
5. The every tiny movement of a camera is meticulously thought out by a director.
6. That Mick Jagger read Shelley to commemorate Brian Jones ( and that Shelley’s poetry can be truly beautiful)
7. That the political state in the Middle East is not a new one, nor is it going anywhere for awhile.
8. That pretty much anyone who was anyone in the opera world since its invention was inspired by Venice.
9. That there are many, many things that ‘our generation’ is responsible for fixing (ie. the environment, the way in which our economy
works etc. etc.)
10. That shouting ‘SPACE TIME’ while learning about it makes the whole topic much more interesting.
So, if I have learnt anything while I have been here (and I just proved that I have) , it is that JHV is much more that just ‘an Art History
Trip’.Jet setting- What I did on my Half Term- Caroline Yun and Alison Hirsch Alison Hirsch- Milan Over half term, I took a train to Milan where I spent the weekend immersing myself in everything, from the city’s fashion to its food. I had the pleasure of visiting Milan during its renowned fashion week. Yet, I didn’t need to attend a formal show to understand why the city is considered a major design capital; take one stroll under one of the exquisite glass dome of the Galleria Vittoria Emanuele II, Italy’s oldest active shopping mall- or through the newer, eclectic rooms of 10 Corso Como, a hodgepodge of boutiques and bookstores- and you will see that style holds great significance in Milanese society. Beyond the city’s ties to high-end brands (including the first Prada store), I discovered Milan to be an artistic hotbed booming with young designers whose stores and studios are scattered along the famous Brera district. Other highlights of my time in Milan include the city’s architecture and art. Duomo di Milano is one of the most memorable Cathedrals I have ever seen; its exaggerated, imposing gothic exterior demands attention, and stands in stark contrast to the city’s characteristically modest structures. For example, the city’s iconic opera house, Teatro alla Scala has a lavish, ornate interior, but has a plain, understated outer appearance. Moreover, Milan has a vast collection of notable painting and sculpture; however, there are two that I recommend seeing above all else. First is to experience Leonardo da Vinci’s ‘The Last Supper’ in situ on the wall of the refectory of the Church of Santa Maria Delle Grazie, and take in one of the most influential and widely-recognised paintings in the world. The second is to visit Maurizio Cattelan’s art installation L.O.V.E.: Libertá, Odio, Vendetta, Eternitá, or Freedom, Hate, Vengeance, and Eternity. This controversial statue of a middle finger is found in front of the Italian Stock Market. While L.O.V.E. is a publicly- displayed modern installation presenting an ambiguous message. Together, the two works provide insight into the divers art Milan has to offer. Caroline Yun- Paris Over the long weekend, I had the fortune to be able to visit friends in Paris who were doing Le Cordon Bleu cooking school.My weekend was lovely, as the food, air and architecture are some of the best in the world. My friends and I went to a variety of restaurants including, Korean Barbecue, French and American. Despite the food in Paris being a highlight, the most special aspect was going to the Louvre, Musée d’Orsa, and Musée Rodin after having studied Art History for four weeks with John Hall. In those museums, I particularly thought of Ben Street’s lecture H ow to Look at Art. While walking around, I felt as though I could look past the descriptions and aesthetic qualities, and instead think to the history and movements behind the pieces, and feel the emotions that the art elicited from me, something I had rarely practiced before. While my friends had cooking classes, I went to a park and sketched. As a sporty and non-artistic party (before John Hall that is), never would I have voluntarily entertained drawing in my free time. However, Geoffrey’s sketching classes encouraged me to bring a sketchbook so I could appreciate the architecture and life around me beyond purely looking at it, even if I ended up drawing a dumpster and a tree! As an American, travelling to another country with an entirely different culture on less than a two-hour flight still amazes me. If not for John Hall Venice, I would be going from New York to Long Island and not Venice to Paris.
Al Volo Til I Die - Tom Hurst For any potential John Hallers are reading this, ones who have not had the pleasure of having a steaming slice of Al Volo, for lunch (or after a sesh at Orange Bar) you’re in for an absolute Treat- I’d argue that it is the best Pizza in Venice. But no one knows Al Volo quite as well as our very own Tom Hurst, who was known to have 8 Al Volo of an evening. Special mention also goes to Thea Cottrell , who we discovered will go to almost *any* length to get her Pizza ( the one with Chips on top of course)... ‘Munching at midnight. The eternal pizza craving. Fresh out of the oven. Piping hot. Prepared in front of you eyes. The choices, margarita, artichoke, spinach and ricotta, spinach and gorgonzola, salami, ham, courgette, onion and for the Americans sausage and chips. The people that remember you, you visit so often. Normally twice a day. How come your still so skinny? Sometimes 8 large slices a day. After the shambolic Messner food a pizza slice will sort you out. Calm your stomach. Yes it's not as nice if it's sat around a bit and they have to warm a slice up for you, but even then it's still the best pizza in the area and by far the freshest. Worth every cent of €2. If you serve nothing but pizza it has to be tasty and this is flippin’ delicious.’ Tom Hurst AL Volo- the best restaurant(?) in Venice, that has’ F**K the Police’ written on the Front
'Sloshed’ in Venice: A stream of consciousness by Tom Hurst I had the pleasure of being invited by Hussein to dine with his mother and a few friends. Frustratingly I forgot to wear my suit but luckily everyone hadn’t dressed as if for an 18th C ball. Upon meeting Hussein's mother I realise that she is a woman who cares for everyone, will fight for the better living conditions for the John Hall students. We meander to the restaurant. First by water then by land. We arrived at the restaurant and we were greeted by the waiters who placed us at the best table in the house. We dined like kings: Spaghetti alle vongole, meat platters and fish platters. Then they wheeled in the pudding trolly. Only rivalling Plumber Manors. Then unexpectedly the waited decided to bring limoncello shots. A new concept to me. We necked down two. I thought I was to be at sea for many nights. A rough stormy sea. I was waiting to finally let go of the cliff edge. I was to be smashed by waves and struck by lightning. We then proceeded to Orange Bar. The seats are still warm from when we were last there. I tried to rally the troops to no success. A motivational speech. We necked more Limoncello along with Tequila and even Sambuca. I was sure I would have to be taken back in a wheelbarrow. The swaying hits again. The crash of waves, the roar of thunder. Was I to be eaten by a whale and spat out many months later or would the waves be parted as they have been this morning? Salt, down the hatch, lemon. Salt, down the hatch, lemon. More limoncello barman. Another 6. Al Volo called but I had to resist. No dilution. I would incur the wrath. I would last the entirety. The seasickness now rooting, kicking in. The boat twirling and swirling. Rain pouring down like shards of glass. Was I to be forever at sea. Should I ride to conquer in a gondola? Would I fight this ferocious man munching beast myself. To the death it shall be. Knuckles or butter knives? All the time happily being in Hawaii with my friends, soaking up the sun. Drinking pina coladas. Getting sunburnt. Then crash, down the hatch. Captain Issy, we have to secure the hatch. She can’t take any more. She’s going to sink. She’s given her last roar. Smash. I fly off. I’m falling. The Spanish galleon has outpaced us. It has run dizzying circles around us country fisherman. We are taking our last breaths. The sky is orange. The sky is black. I will forever be in a Bosch painting. To be munched by the devil. Forever stuck in his saliva. Where am I? Between heaven and hell. It’s dark and damp. I’m cold. The lemon has staved off scurvy for now. Eat up your weevil infested biscuits Hussein. Rumble, bumble and crumble. Then boom the dangerous cargo has exploded. Splinters flying. Flesh ripping. Blood spurting. We will all turn gangrenous and die. Let my brain ferment its own juices. Pickle in its own brine. Dissolve in its own alcoholic acid. Let it fizz, bubble and pop. Let it tenderise. Let it dry out, shrivel up, crack, fracture and become encrusted with a scab. Let it decompose, go discoloured and brown. Let it reek and release it’s toxic gases. Let it go stale and mouldy. Let it be infested, infested with maggots and swarmed by flies. Let it slowly be gnawed way, munched and crunch. Set it on fire, let it burn to ashes. Let it liquefy. Let it wash away. Wash down the canal. Let my body wash away. Wash to the sea.
Life Drawing: What to expect from an afternoon at Geoffrey’s- Evelyn Arnander Geoffrey’s drawing sessions are a must of the John Hall experience. Personally, I was feeling super confident about it, given that I had taken regular life drawing classes in the past. Alas, I was reminded how technical and frustrating it could be, and was intimated by some fellow students’ works, some were just mind-blowing! A few drawings in, however, I was enjoying it again, and reminded myself: it’s all about patience and observation. Geoffrey’s studio is located on the Giudecca, and even if you can’t draw to save your life, you will enjoy the oriental decor, the beautiful view on the Giudecca canal, the tea/prosecco breaks, and the very peaceful atmosphere. Geoffrey has his own works hung on his walls, and they are quite simply beautiful. I would advise to go to all the available classes, regardless of your artistic skills, because the experience is truly unique. My main advice would be to make sure you get a seat and a good view of the model, otherwise it can be much trickier! Also, if you’re not too happy with your work, keep going, you will make progress! And, be creative; Geoffrey has a wide range of pens and pencils (obviously), so don’t stick to the boring HB pencil! Try shading, colour, speed drawing, continuous line, ball-point pen; when it comes to options, the sky’s the limit, so make sure you stand out.
Sophie and Daisy’s Guide to the Prettiest Ceilings in Italy
Overheard on JHV- Hattie Lees
Alice: Molly:
❖ Whilst v drunk “guys are you proud that I haven’t ❖ *“I’ve always thought Bassett Hounds look like
been sick in 2 years” Gordon Brown”
❖ “My parents are coming tomorrow - do you think
they’ll want to see me ?” Sophie:
❖ “I’m going to make a butt cheek hot water bottle and ❖ “Check yourself before you wreck yourself”
make a dip in the middle for the but crack” ❖ “I just sprayed some Profumo dell’arte on me so now
➢ 1 hour later: “the offer still stands if I’m an artist”
anyone wants to warm my but cheeks, is
frostbite on the butt cheeks a thing?”
Jess:
❖ “I have weak tear ducts, they leak all the time”
Izzy:
❖ in reply to “is there beef?”- “there’s no beef, there’s
just pure corn-fed chicken”
Sofia:
❖ “I keep seeing children and think that they’re pizzas”
❖ In response to “keep your hair on Chaz” - “he doesn’t
Freya: have any”
❖ in reply to “what’s the term where you get very few
crisps in a bag” - “air” (the answer was a con)
Charlie Hall:
❖ Charlie when a lady wanted to take a photo of
Rose: Botticelli’s Primavera & we were in front of it: “Go
❖ “Seagulls are rats of the sky” buy a fucking postcard, it’s important not to get
❖ “The conversation wasn’t flowing but the white wine angry around art”
was” ❖ Chaz was a DJ at Tenax Nightclub in Florence back in
the day & apparently played “Banging Techno”
Hebe:
❖ *“I hate children, but I want 7” Caroline:
❖ “She’s on my tits, and I want her off, I don’t like ❖ “Is Miss your first name?”
having big boobs” ❖ “What’s an aubergine?”
❖ Looking at a sign for shittake mushrooms “What’s a
shit take?”
Susan Steer:
❖ “Can you please be quiet you’re upsetting the art”The JHV Dictionary- Caroline Yun
The UK is a place famous for, and proud of its regional, idiomatic dialect and specialist vocabulary, but I’m sure it can all be a bit
confusing to our friends across the pond. Helpfully, Caroline has translated the most commonly heard slang of John Hall Venice.
❖ That’s a shout- when someone says something you agree with
❖ Waved- drunk
❖ Fag- Cigarette
❖ Pants- underwear
❖ Chunder- vomit
❖ Trollied, wankered- drunk (I think you might be able to see a recurring theme here)
❖ Veg- vegetable
❖ Peng- cool/ dope/ attractive (see also-‘peng ting’)
❖ Mint- cool/ attractive
❖ Like a painting- pretty like a picture
❖ Spagbol- Spaghetti Bolognese
❖ Baccy- tobacco
❖ Whitey- going really white because you’ve ‘crossed’ or smoked too much
❖ Blem- cigarette
❖ Butters- ugly/ lame ie. ‘He’s butters’
❖ Bloke- guy
❖ Knackered- tired
❖ C**t eye- getting smoke in your eye
❖ Flying without a pass- when your flies are undone
❖ I rate- I like ie. ‘I rate this food’
❖ Hanging- hungover ie. ‘Are you hanging?’
❖ % chun- How likely you are to vomit (either during or after a night out)
❖ Tacky Chun or TC- Tactical book
❖ That’s jokes- That’s funny
❖ Tracky bums- sweatpants
❖ Bare- very/ much- ie. Bare funny
❖ On the graft- on the chirps- flirtingEditor- Rose Asquith Watercolour- Molly Hamilton Drawings- Hebe Rose Thanks to Mark Smith, Lara Chapman, Hattie Lees and Daisy Farr for (the majority of) the photos
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