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genealogy
Creative
Embarkation: Reimagining a Taoist Ritual Ceremony
Shin Yu Pai
Independent Scholar, Seattle, WA 98133, USA; ShinYu.Pai@gmail.com
Received: 7 June 2020; Accepted: 26 August 2020; Published: 8 September 2020
Abstract: Poet and artist Shin Yu Pai shares the origins and process of creating her performance video
piece Embarkation. Informed by Buddhist and Taoist rituals from Bhutan and Taiwan, Pai reflects
on her efforts to reimagine a traditional Taoist ceremony in the context of a personal grief ritual
performed for the stage. She discusses the process of collaborating with film, video, theater, and
movement artists from both Taiwan and Seattle, including Ye Mimi, Scott Keva James, Jane Kaplan
and Vanessa DeWolf, and how her vision evolved over many iterations. The roles of community,
audience, and creative friendships are also explored in the context of how they can invigorate a
creative work.
Keywords: Wang Yeh Boat Burning Festival; Taoism; Taiwan; performance art; poetry; place-based
writing; Ye Mimi; Scott Keva James; Jane Kaplan; Vanessa DeWolf
1. Offerings
In the summer of 2019, my friend Tomo Nakayama invited me to create a commissioned work
for a live performance showcase on the subject of fire at the Moore Theater in Seattle, Washington.
Many contributors to the showcase interpreted the theme in the context of climate change and the fires
burning across the Pacific Northwest and West Coast that year. I knew that I needed to ground my
piece in a connection to the place where I live, but as a person of the Taiwanese diaspora, the home
of my ancestors also lives within me. I decided to write a poem to perform that reimagined a fire
ritual that I had witnessed in Taiwan. My inspiration was the coastal town of Donggang’s ritual boat
burning, which is enacted as a way to transport grief to a far place—to unburden ourselves of it.
Though my father grew up in a Confucian–Taoist–Buddhist household in Taiwan, I was raised
in suburban Riverside, California—just another part of the sprawling metropolis radiating outwards
from Los Angeles. During my childhood, an everyday appreciation of nature as espoused by Taoism
felt quite distant. My father fed my imagination with stories of shamans and spiritual mediums that
contacted the dead through paper burning. His stories described the fantastical, without any hint
of judgment concerning veracity, and I was left unsure of how to feel about the spirit realm. Was it
benevolent? Was it taboo to rub shoulders with shamans, or others with spiritual powers?
Over time, my tenuous understanding of Taoism was shaped by an odd mash-up of The Tao of Pooh
and a narrow translation of the Tao Teh Ching. In an undergraduate religion class led by an American
scholar, we focused exclusively on our professor’s translation, which focused on the relationship
between political leadership and Taoism. Everyone who enrolled in that seminar was of Asian descent
and had some lived experience with Taoism from a cultural perspective, but our analysis focused solely
on warfare.
My father was born during World War II in Chingshui, a small village in Taichung Province with
a rich history of architecture from Japanese colonial days (1895–1945) and the ruins of its wartime
tunnels. In the late 1960s, he immigrated to the U.S. and didn’t return to Taiwan until after Martial
Law was eliminated. He abhorred Chiang-Kai Shek and the KMT regime and often recounted his early
childhood memories of soldiers squatting on our family’s property, threatening family members with
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Genealogy 2020, 4, 92 2 of 13
to Taiwan at the end of the war with her family as borders were being sealed. As a member of the
their
upperguns.
class,My
shemother was bornfrom
was protected in Japan
muchduring
of the the Second World
oppression War. She
and violence returned
that to Taiwan
my father at the
experienced
end of the war
as a young person.with her family as borders were being sealed. As a member of the upper class, she was
protected from much
My father does ofnotthelove
oppression
traveling and violence
home, butthat my father
in 2004, experiencedhim
I accompanied as a to
young person.
an academic
My father does not love traveling home, but in 2004, I accompanied him to an
conference at Kaoshiung University. And in 2012, I fulfilled a promise to take him back to one of the academic conference
at Kaoshiung
remote MatsuUniversity.
islands, whereAndhe in fulfilled
2012, I fulfilled a promisemilitary
his compulsory to take him backastoa one
service of the
young man. remote
I made Matsu
that
islands, where
second trip on he
thefulfilled
heels ofhis a compulsory
very difficultmilitary serviceI as
miscarriage. wasa young
in shockman. I made
over havingthatlost
second tripWe
a child. on
the heels of a very difficult miscarriage. I was in shock over having lost a child.
had no rituals for grieving. Not my husband. Nor me and my father, who lamented the loss of an We had no rituals for
grieving. Not my husband.
unborn grandson at 10 weeks. NorHe mehad
andturned
my father,
away whofromlamented
erectingtheanloss of an shrine
ancestor unborningrandson
our home, at
10 weeks. He had turned away from erecting an ancestor shrine in our home,
burning incense or paper, or coming near any folk customs that might remind him of the many hoursburning incense or paper,
or
he coming
spent innear
his any folk customs
childhood that might
at a Matsu temple,remind
whilehimhisofmother
the many hours
prayed forhehis
spent
goodin his childhood
behavior and
at a Matsu
grades. Seetemple,
Figure 1.while his mother prayed for his good behavior and grades. See Figure 1.
Figure 1.1.AAMatsu
Figure Matsu temple
temple where
where the goddess
the goddess of is
of the sea the sea is worshipped,
worshipped, Chingshui, Chingshui, Taiwan.
Taiwan. Photograph
Photograph courtesy of
courtesy of Shin Yu Pai. Shin Yu Pai.
2004,I Iwas
In 2004, wasalso
also asked
asked to speak
to speak atSimmons
at the the Simmons College
College PoetryPoetry Conference
Conference in Bostonin that
Boston that
brought
brought together
together poets from poets
the from the diaspora
Chinese Chinese diaspora fromTaiwan
from China, China,and Taiwan and the
the United United
States. SeeStates.
Figure See
2.
Figure
At 2. At Ithe
the time, wastime, I wasextensively
writing writing extensively
about theabout
visualthe visual
arts, while arts,
alsowhile also collaborating
collaborating with
with painters,
painters, photographers,
photographers, dancers and dancers and composers.
composers. I was also Iexploring
was also exploring Buddhist philosophical
Buddhist philosophical themes
themes in order to
in order to understand
understand the duality the duality
of my of my
cultural cultural identity—being
identity—being caught
caught between between
worlds as aworlds as a second-
second-generation
generation
Asian AsianInAmerican.
American. In college,
college, I studied I studied
sacred sacred literature
cross-cultural cross-cultural
in the literature in the work
work of Buddhist of
writers
Buddhist writers like Ryokan and Dogen, read the Shiivite poets, and dived deeply
like Ryokan and Dogen, read the Shiivite poets, and dived deeply into the Songs of Milarepa. My pathinto the Songs of
Milarepa.
to becomingMyapath to continually
writer becoming a brought
writer continually
me back tobrought
the idea me back to the
of literature ideaorofoffering.
as gift literature as gift
or offering.
At the conference, I gravitated towards the writers from Taiwan with whom I shared the
Taiwanese language (a dialect of southern Fujianese) and a more clearly aligned cultural experience.
Like me, the poet Ye Mimi was interested in working across creative genres. She employed drawing,
audio and visuals into her work, and wrote experimental poems that played with language and
sounds.
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Figure 2.
Figure 2. Simmons College Poetry Poetry Conference
Conference in
in 2004.
2004. Ye
Ye Mimi
Mimi is
is in
in the
the first
first row,
row, fourth from left.
Shin Yu
Shin Yu Pai
Pai is
is in
in the
thesecond
secondrow,
row,second
secondfrom
fromleft.
left.
At the expressed
Mimi conference,to I gravitated
me she was towards the writers
interested from Taiwan
in cinema, with whomher
and I encouraged I shared the Taiwanese
to leave Taiwan to
language
attend The (aSchool
dialect ofof the
southern Fujianese)
Art Institute and a more
of Chicago, my clearly aligned
alma mater. Mimicultural
was experience. Like me,and
drawn to observing the
poet Ye Mimi was
understanding interested
cultural in working
practices. across creative
She documented the Matsugenres. She employed
goddess pilgrimage, drawing,
as well asaudio and
the boat-
visuals
building into her work,
practices andOrchid
of the wrote experimental
Island indigenous poemspeople.
that played with language
I introduced her to andartistsounds.
friends in the
city. Mimi expressed
We stayed to me
in touch. Weshe madewastimeinterested
for onein cinema,
another andthe
over I encouraged her to leave
years, particularly whenTaiwan
I traveledto
attend
back toThe School
Taiwan. Sheofwas
the one
Art of Institute
the firstoffriends
Chicago, my alma
to come visit mater. Mimi was
me in Seattle afterdrawn
the birthto of
observing
my son,
and understanding
when her husband cultural
died practices.
suddenly Sheof documented
an undetected theheart
Matsu goddessinpilgrimage,
disorder 2014, I felt as well
her as She
loss. the
boat-building
threw herself practices
into making of the四十四隻石獅子
Orchid Island indigenous people. aI introduced
Cease Susurrating, cinematic elegyher totoartist friends inthat
her husband the
city. We stayed
explored loss and in touch.
the death Wepractices
made time for one
among theanother
Tana Torajaover people.
the years, particularly when I traveled
back Into July
Taiwan. SheIwas
of 2018, one of the
experienced first friends
another to come
great loss in my visit
life.me
Myinvipassana
Seattle after the birthteacher,
meditation of my son,Bill
and whenwhom
Scheffel, her husband
I had met diedmore
suddenlythan of 20an undetected
years ago when heart disorder
I was in 2014,
a student I felt herInstitute,
at Naropa loss. She ended
threw
herself
his life into making
by setting his四十四隻石獅子 Cease Susurrating,I abecame
car ablaze and self-immolating. cinematic elegy toby
unmoored herhishusband thathad
death. Bill explored
come
loss
into and the at
my life death
a timepractices
when Iamong the Tana searching
was spiritually Toraja people. and had given me instruction on how to work
withIntheJuly of 2018,
mind. I experienced
Unlike many teachers anotherI great
had loss in my life.through
encountered My vipassanamy life,meditation
he treated teacher,
me withBill
Scheffel, whom I had met more than 20 years ago when I was a student
compassion, respect and care, and refrained from crossing personal boundaries. I took his death hard at Naropa Institute, ended his
life by setting
because he had hisbeen
car ablaze and with
struggling self-immolating.
mental health I became
issues at unmoored
the time of byhis
hisdeath,
death.something
Bill had come thatinto
has
my
alsolife at a time
colored my when I was
life. Did he spiritually
intend a final searching
teaching andforhadhisgiven me instruction
students, and otherson hehow
left to work with
behind,
the mind.
his last UnlikeOr
actions? many
was teachers
he just inI ahad badencountered
place when through
he acted?my life, he treated me with compassion,
respect and care,
A month and
later, refrained
Mimi finishedfrom crossing
editing Ceasepersonal boundaries.
Susurrating, and hadI an took his death hard
inexplicable because
accident. As shehe
had been struggling with mental
was walking, her legs gave out. She explains: health issues at the time of his death, something that has also colored
my life. Did he intend a final teaching for his students, and others he left behind, with his last actions?
Both my legs cramped at the same time, so I fell on the sidewalk. I was paralyzed and I
Or was he just in a bad place when he acted?
couldn’t walk at that moment. After two days of resting, I recovered. I went out to shoot a
A month later, Mimi finished editing Cease Susurrating, and had an inexplicable accident. As she
video in a ruined place. After I edited the video, my legs became weak, and I had to lean on
was walking, her legs gave out. She explains:
an umbrella when I walked. I tried many methods to heal my legs, including acupuncture,
massage,
Both my legsTaoist rituals, at
cramped X-ray at thetime,
the same Rehabilitation
so I fell on Department…but
the sidewalk. I was noneparalyzed
of this worked.
and I
Icouldn’t
was told that I was haunted by the negative energy, but I
walk at that moment. After two days of resting, I recovered. I went out to shoot didn’t really believe it. In
a
October,
video in amy friend
ruined chanted
place. Aftermantras
I editedfor theme, andmy
video, I went
legson a meditation
became weak, andretreat.
I hadMy to legs
leangoton
better.
an umbrella when I walked. I tried many methods to heal my legs, including acupuncture,
massage,
In both TaoistTaoist rituals, X-ray
and Buddhist at the Rehabilitation
meditation, concentrating Department . . . word
on a sacred but none of this can
or sound worked.
help Ifocus
was told that I was haunted by the negative energy, but I didn’t really believe it.
one’s mind and help move energy. The same year that Bill died, I traveled to Bhutan, the Buddhist In October,
my friend
kingdom in thechanted mantras
Himalayas, for for me, Iand
work. I went
visited theonGangteng
a meditation retreat. My
Monastery legswe
where gotwere
better.
granted
permission to witness and document ceremony. I lit butter lamps and chanted the
In both Taoist and Buddhist meditation, concentrating on a sacred word or sound can help focus mantra from the
Lotus Sutra, the Sanskrit words that are engraved on my wedding ring which turns
one’s mind and help move energy. The same year that Bill died, I traveled to Bhutan, the Buddhist like a prayer
wheel: Om mani padme hum. Behold the jewel in the lotus. Awaken to the dharma within one’s own
heart. The light from the candle directs intention and represents the transformation of form. See
Figures 3–6.
Genealogy 2020, 4, 92 4 of 13
kingdom in the Himalayas, for work. I visited the Gangteng Monastery where we were granted
permission to witness and document ceremony. I lit butter lamps and chanted the mantra from the
Lotus Sutra, the Sanskrit words that are engraved on my wedding ring which turns like a prayer wheel:
Om mani padme hum. Behold the jewel in the lotus. Awaken to the dharma within one’s own heart.
The light from the candle directs intention and represents the transformation of form. See Figures 3–6.
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Figure 3. Shin
3. Shin Yu Pai
Yu Pai inside
inside a hall of flamingbutter
a hall butter lamps atatthe Gangteng Monastery in the Phobjika
Figure
Figure 3. Shin Yu Pai inside a hallofofflaming lampsat
flaming butter lamps theGangteng
the Gangteng Monastery
Monastery inPhobjika
in the the Phobjika
Valley,
Valley, Bhutan.
Bhutan. Image
Image courtesy
courtesy of
of of
Jim Jim Brewer.
Brewer.
Valley, Bhutan. Image courtesy Jim Brewer.
Figure 4. A view of the monk’s quarters at Gangteng Monastery in the Phobjika Valley, Bhutan. Image
Figure
Figure A4.view
A view of the
of the monk’squarters
monk’s quartersat
at Gangteng
Gangteng Monastery
Monastery inin
thethe
Phobjika Valley,
Phobjika Bhutan.
Valley, ImageImage
Bhutan.
by4.Shin Yu Pai.
by Shin Yu Pai.
by Shin Yu Pai.
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Figure 5.
5. An
An image
image of Gangteng
Gangteng Tulku Rinpoche, the Buddhist teacher who foundedfounded Gangteng
Gangteng
Monastery in Bhutan, who is also the teacher who administered Shin Yu Pai’s vows of refuge in
Monastery in Bhutan, who is also the teacher who administered Shin Yu Pai’s vows of refuge in 1998.
1998.
Photograph by
Photograph by the
the Shin
Shin Yu
Yu Pai.
Pai.
Figure
Figure 6.
6. Ceremonial
Ceremonial drums
drums at
at rest
rest inside
inside aa hall
hall at
at Gangteng
Gangteng Monastery. Image by
Monastery. Image by Shin
Shin Yu
Yu Pai.
Pai.
I appreciated these moments of respite because
because my
my day-to-day
day-to-day role
role on
on the
the trip
trip was
was as
as aa fixer.
fixer.
Ensuring that people who needed to go to the emergency room got the attention
attention they
they needed.
needed.
Managing guests’ food allergies, fielding complaints about shackled dogs and animal rights, and
making recommendations on culturally appropriate tipping practices. I looked after a guest with a
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Managing guests’ food allergies, fielding complaints about shackled dogs and animal rights,6 and
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making recommendations on culturally appropriate tipping practices. I looked after a guest with a
hernia
hernia that
that had
had developed
developed before
before embarking
embarking on on our
our trip
trip and
and worried
worried about
about whether
whether oror not
not we
we would
would
all survive the 10,000-foot ascent to Tiger’s Nest Temple. I was too distracted caring for
all survive the 10,000-foot ascent to Tiger’s Nest Temple. I was too distracted caring for others during others during
my
my trip
trip to
to think
think about
about grief. But on
grief. But on my
my climb
climb to
to Tiger’s
Tiger’s Nest,
Nest, II had
had aa personal
personal conversation
conversation with
with one
one
of
of my guides, Sonam Tenzin. He had taken care of us for 14 days. Escorted me to an ER when I fell
my guides, Sonam Tenzin. He had taken care of us for 14 days. Escorted me to an ER when I fell
into
into an
an irrigation
irrigation ditch. Carried aa 250-pound
ditch. Carried 250-pound American
American on on his
his back,
back, when
when the
the old
old man
man could
could not
not make
make
it
it down
down aadirtdirthill.
hill.Listening
ListeningtotoSonam’s
Sonam’sstory
storyabout
abouthishis
path to to
path becoming
becoming a guide, I thought
a guide, about
I thought the
about
paths that we don’t imagine for ourselves until we are living
the paths that we don’t imagine for ourselves until we are living them. them.
2. Fire as Purification
2. Fire as Purification
On the way home back to Seattle, I routed my flight through Taiwan to see Mimi and connect
On the way home back to Seattle, I routed my flight through Taiwan to see Mimi and connect
with my father and his extended family. I had a lot of mixed feelings about returning home. Yet two of
with my father and his extended family. I had a lot of mixed feelings about returning home. Yet two
my father’s older brothers had passed away only a few years earlier, and I felt keenly aware of the
of my father’s older brothers had passed away only a few years earlier, and I felt keenly aware of the
health
health of of our
ourremaining
remainingrelativesrelativeswhenwhen my my Fourth
Fourth Uncle
Uncle waswasdiagnosed
diagnosed withwithParkinson’s disease.
Parkinson’s My
disease.
father remains active, but as his late-70s approached, I felt an urgency
My father remains active, but as his late-70s approached, I felt an urgency to make sure he could to make sure he could spend
time
spend with
timeloved
withonesloved while
onestheywhile could
theyall still all
could enjoystillit.enjoy it.
This
This time, I was also determined to connect with
time, I was also determined to connect with local local Taoist
Taoist traditions
traditions to to directly
directly understand
understand
something
something of the culture that experience, not observation, could reveal to me. In the past,
of the culture that experience, not observation, could reveal to me. In the past, II had
had
glimpsed
glimpsed ritual
ritual from
from thethe far
far edges. Walking down
edges. Walking down Da Da Chieh
Chieh Lu,Lu, the
the street
street on
on which
which my my Fourth
Fourth Uncle
Uncle
lives,
lives, II passed
passed aa tenttent filled
filled with
with white-hooded
white-hooded figures figures chanting
chanting andand burning
burning incense.
incense. AsAs II lifted
lifted aa
corner of the tent to peer inside, my father ordered me to keep walking.
corner of the tent to peer inside, my father ordered me to keep walking. We had intruded upon We had intruded upon a Taoista
funeral. Living Living
Taoist funeral. in the capital city during
in the capital a residency
city during at the Taipei
a residency at theArtist
TaipeiVillage, I stumbled
Artist Village, upon a
I stumbled
papier-maché offering shop overflowing with paper flat screen TVs
upon a papier-maché offering shop overflowing with paper flat screen TVs and luxury cars sculpted and luxury cars sculpted from
paper. GraveGrave
from paper. goodsgoodsfor thefor dead.
the dead.
II told
told my family membersthat
my family members thatMimi
Mimi and
and I planned
I planned to take a trip
to take to experience
a trip to experience the Wang
the WangYeh boat
Yeh
burning festival. I saw fire as purifying and cleansing, but they seemed
boat burning festival. I saw fire as purifying and cleansing, but they seemed less interested. Fire less interested. Fire brings
dynamism,
brings dynamism,heat and warmth,
heat but it also
and warmth, butcauses
it alsodestruction.
causes destruction. Fire burns.
FireMimi
burns. and I knew
Mimi andfrom
I knewreading
from
about the ceremony and talking to locals upon our arrival in Donggang
reading about the ceremony and talking to locals upon our arrival in Donggang that not everyone that not everyone stayed for
the burning of the boat. We would be inviting spirits near. Residents
stayed for the burning of the boat. We would be inviting spirits near. Residents shut their doors fastshut their doors fast before the
Wang
beforeYeh the boat
Wang wound
Yeh boatpastwound
their homes. See homes.
past their Figure 7. See Figure 7.
Figure 7.7. AAtownsperson
Figure townspersoncarries
carries
an an elaborate
elaborate palanquin
palanquin with with
effigyeffigy
duringduring the Yeh
the Wang Wang
boatYeh boat
burning
burning festival in Donggang, Taiwan. Image courtesy
festival in Donggang, Taiwan. Image courtesy of Ye Mimi. of Ye Mimi.
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The most
The most careful
careful ofof celebrants
celebrants left
left the
the scene
scene without
without looking
looking back,
back, once
once the
the fire
fire ignited
ignited the
the boat.
boat.
As research-based artists, we agreed to observe the entire spectacle. We stayed awake
As research-based artists, we agreed to observe the entire spectacle. We stayed awake for more than for more than 24
hours,
24 moving
hours, withwith
moving the crowds, paying
the crowds, our visits
paying to thetomain
our visits temple,
the main and waiting
temple, by the by
and waiting beach
thefor the
beach
boat to be moored upon a giant pile of joss paper. Mimi filmed the boat’s entire journey
for the boat to be moored upon a giant pile of joss paper. Mimi filmed the boat’s entire journey and I and I had the
intention
had to write to
the intention about
write whatever we witnessed
about whatever See Figure
we witnessed See8.Figure 8.
Figure
Figure 8.
8. The
TheWang
Wang Yeh
Yeh boat
boat burning
burning festival in Donggang,
festival in Donggang, Taiwan.
Taiwan. Image
Image courtesy
courtesy of
of Ye
Ye Mimi.
Mimi.
I imagined
imaginedaatravel
travelessay.
essay.ButButas Ias I watched
watched the consumed
the boat boat consumed in flames,
in flames, my mind my mindtowards
turned turned
towards the simultaneously
the simultaneously creative andcreative and destructive
destructive act of the act of the ceremony.
ceremony. The crackle Theof crackle of flames
flames competed
competed
against theagainst
buzzing theofbuzzing of remote-controlled
remote-controlled tourist
tourist drones dronesthe
capturing capturing the scene
scene from a bird’sfrom
eyeaview.
bird’sI
eye view. I circumambulated
circumambulated the flaming the mass flaming
feelingmass feeling
the heat uponthemyheat upon
face. my face.
I thought I thought
about lettingabout letting
go—what it
go—what it must
must feel like feel like
to create an to create
object ofan objectonly
beauty, of beauty, only
to offer to to
it up offer
fireitfor
upsomething
to fire for something greater.
greater. I thought
Iabout
thought
my about
friendmyBill.friend Bill. See
See Figure 9. Figure 9.
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Figure
Figure 9.
9. Ye
Ye Mimi’s
Mimi’s footage
footage of
of the
the Wang
Wang Yeh boat burning
Yeh boat burning festival
festival in
in Donggang,
Donggang, Taiwan.
Taiwan.
The boat burning
burning also
also spoke
spoke totome
meabout
aboutthe
theprocess
processthat
thatI Ihad
hadbeen
beenundergoing
undergoingasasa a writer.
writer.I
had
I hadnot
notturned
turnedaway
away from creating
from poetry,
creating butbut
poetry, my myinterest had had
interest become the shattering
become of form.
the shattering I wroteI
of form.
poemspoems
wrote and projected them on
and projected buildings,
them made audio
on buildings, madeinstallations, and tookand
audio installations, an took
axe toantheaxefamiliar
to the
forms of forms
familiar poetryofonpoetry
the page. I was
on the destroying
page. my writerly
I was destroying myorientation to languagetotolanguage
writerly orientation create something
to create
that transcended
something it. Poetry it.
that transcended would
Poetrynot existnot
would as exist
a creative expression
as a creative separate
expression of the
separate body
of the bodyor or
of
experience—these
of experience—these things were
things weremerging
merging within me.
within me.
After the Wang Yeh Yeh boat-burning
boat-burning festival,
festival, Mimi
Mimi experienced
experienced another physical paralysis that
affected her ability to walk:
walk:
After
After aa night
night of shooting by
of shooting the seaside,
by the seaside, my
my calf
calf twisted
twisted and
and it was so
it was so hard
hard to
to walk
walk again
again
on my right
on my right foot
foot .…After
. . Aftermy
myfeet
feetgot
gotbetter,
better, II wanted
wanted toto sort
sort out
out the
the photos
photos and
and movies
movies II
took at that time. But I was afraid to open those files for fear of being attacked by negative
took at that time. But I was afraid to open those files for fear of being attacked by negative
energy again.
energy again.
In December, a spiritual healer made a mandala for me. She helped the spirits that haunted
In December, a spiritual healer made a mandala for me. She helped the spirits that haunted
my body go towards the light by singing and playing the drum. On the next day, I could
my body go towards the light by singing and playing the drum. On the next day, I could
walk without leaning on an umbrella. The effect was so powerful so I started to believe that
walk without leaning on an umbrella. The effect was so powerful so I started to believe that
what I encountered wasn’t something science could explain.
what I encountered wasn’t something science could explain.
Mimi sent me the files from our night at the festival, but I knew that I would have to create the work
Mimi
without sent
her. me thewith
It began filesafrom our
poem. night
See at the
Figure 10. festival, but I knew that I would have to create the
work without her. It began with a poem. See Figure 10.
Genealogy 2020, 4, 92 9 of 13
Genealogy 2020, 4, x FOR PEER REVIEW 9 of 13
Figure
Figure 10.
10. Incense
Incense burning
burning during
during the
the Wang
Wang Yeh boat burning
Yeh boat burning festival.
festival. Image
Image courtesy
courtesy of
of Ye
Ye Mimi.
Mimi.
EMBARKATION: AAQUINTET
EMBARKATION: QUINTETFOR THE
FOR YEAR
THE OF THE
YEAR DOG DOG
OF THE
Butter lamp, incense stick, bees wax
Butter
votive, the lamp,
occasionincense
of poem, stick,
ritesbees wax
I enact
votive,
to set the world aglow with the lightI enact
the occasion of poem, rites
to set the world
of desire, aglow
the fire of thewith
mindthe light
of desire,
adorned in thethe fireof
colors ofthetheeight
mind
temples,adorned
the caretakers
in theofcolors
the wang yeheight
of the (gods)
march through the streets of
temples, the caretakers of the wang yeh the seaside town(gods)
the lone envoy bearing a square
march through the streets of the seaside town yoke, parades
the wooden boat through narrow lanes
the lone envoy bearing a square yoke, parades
until nightfall, when the barge is brought
the wooden boat through narrow lanes
to rest upon a bed of joss (paper)
until nightfall, when the barge is brought
earlier that night, men load the boat
to rest uponwishes,
with hand-written a bed of thejoss (paper)
misfortunes
earlier that night, men
and plague of the past year to be pilotedload the boat
with hand-written wishes,
up to the heavens in a blast of fireworks the misfortunes
and plague
deafening the crowd of the past
that came year to bewitness
to bear piloted
toup to the heavens
ceremony; we observein aasblast
each of us fireworks
does
some of us
deafening thebail out before
crowd a thingtoisbear
that came donewitness
to escape our ghosts; we watch
to ceremony; we observe as each of us does it burn;
I can’tof
some unsnarl
us bailthe knot
out of unmet
before a thingwant,is done
so Itosever it in heat, draw the cord
escape our ghosts; we watch it burn; into flame
to free myself from the clutch of haunting, to disembark
I can’t unsnarl the knot of unmet want,
at the latitude of where I give up the ship
so I sever it in heat, draw the cord into flame
3. The Transformation of toForm
free myself from the clutch of haunting, to disembark
at the latitude of where I give up the ship
For the performance at the Moore Theatre in November of 2019, I performed “Embarkation”
accompanied
3. by a two-channel
The Transformation of Form video piece. Mimi’s film footage from Donggang played behind me
while footage of flames that Scott Keva James had collected over the years were projected directly onto
For the performance at the Moore Theatre in November of 2019, I performed “Embarkation”
my body to show the merging of the public and personal—building to a moment when both boat and
accompanied by a two-channel video piece. Mimi’s film footage from Donggang played behind me
body could be lit in flame. See Figure 11.
while footage of flames that Scott Keva James had collected over the years were projected directly
onto my body to show the merging of the public and personal—building to a moment when both
boat and body could be lit in flame. See Figure 11.
Genealogy 2020, 4, 92 10 of 13
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Figure11.
Figure 11. Incineration
Incineration of
ofthe
theboat’s
boat’ssails
sailsatatthe Wang
the Yeh
Wang boat
Yeh burning
boat festival.
burning Image
festival. courtesy
Image of Yeof
courtesy
Mimi.
Ye Mimi.
IIrehearsed
rehearsedwith with theater
theater director
director JaneJane
KaplanKaplan and performance
and performance artist Vanessa
artist Vanessa DeWolf. DeWolf. In
In practicing
practicing
the the performance
performance of the text,ofI came
the text,
to Irethink
came totherethink the language
language of theIpoem.
of the poem. I had started
had started with a with
huge
a huge distance between myself and the audience—the place where I felt
distance between myself and the audience—the place where I felt safest. But the performance safest. But the performance
demanded vulnerability.
demanded vulnerability. II had
had toto look
look Jane
Jane and
and Vanessa
Vanessa in in the
the eye,
eye,speak
speakto toeach
eachofofthem
themfromfrommy my
heart,and
heart, andbreak
breakthethefourth
fourthwall
wallofofdistance
distance between
between us.us. Their
Their greatest
greatest advice
advice to to
memewaswas to simply,
to simply, “Be
“Be more
more of yourself”.
of yourself”.
In the weeksleading
In the weeks leading upup toto the
the boat
boat parade
parade andand burning,
burning, townspeople
townspeopleinvokeinvokethe thespirits
spiritsofofthe
the
WangYeh
Wang Yehgods
godsininorder
ordertotodivine
divinethethe name
name of of the
the spirit
spirit who
who will
will pilot
pilot the
the boat
boat up
up toto heaven.
heaven.ThisThis
namethey
name theywrite
write in
in sand.
sand. II wanted
wanted to to evoke
evoke aa similar
similar movement
movement of of writing
writing onon stage.
stage.I Iopened
openedmy my
performance by pouring sand, gathered from Carkeek Beach near my home, from a glassvessel.
performance by pouring sand, gathered from Carkeek Beach near my home, from a glass vessel.I I
crossedthe
crossed the stage
stage towards
towards the the audience,
audience, drawing
drawing themthem into
into the
the narrative
narrative by by changing
changingthe thepoem’s
poem’s
allusions from general loss to “the misfortunes of my past year.” See Figures 12–14.
allusions from general loss to “the misfortunes of my past year.” See Figures 12–14.Genealogy 2020, 4, 92 11 of 13
Genealogy 2020,
Genealogy 2020, 4,
4, xx FOR
FOR PEER
PEER REVIEW
REVIEW 11 of
11 of 13
13
Figure 12.
Figure 12. Shin
Shin Yu
Shin Yu Pai
Yu Pai holding
holding aaa glass
Pai holding glass vessel
glass vessel of
vessel of sand
of sand from
sand from Carkeek
from Carkeek Beach at
Carkeek Beach
Beach at the
the Moore
the Moore Theater. Image
Moore Theater. Image
courtesy of Forterra.
courtesy of Forterra.
Figure 13.
Figure 13. Shin Yu
Yu Pai pouring
pouring sand from
from Carkeek Beach
Beach near her
her home, courtesy
courtesy of
of Forterra.
Forterra.
Figure 13. Shin
Shin Yu Pai
Pai pouring sand
sand from Carkeek
Carkeek Beach near
near her home,
home, courtesy of Forterra.
II had
had been
been prohibited
prohibited by
by the
the Moore
Moore Theater
Theater staff
staff from
from showering
showering dust
dust directly
directly onto
onto the
the stage
stage
floor, so I confined my movements to pouring sand across a simple tea tray. I reached
floor, so I confined my movements to pouring sand across a simple tea tray. I reached into my into my
imagination and
imagination and remembered
remembered thethe rituals
rituals involved
involved with
with Japanese
Japanese chanoyu,
chanoyu, aa tradition
tradition that
that II practiced
practiced
with tea teachers in Chicago and Boulder.
with tea teachers in Chicago and Boulder.Genealogy 2020, 4, 92 12 of 13
Genealogy 2020, 4, x FOR PEER REVIEW 12 of 13
Genealogy 2020, 4, x FOR PEER REVIEW 12 of 13
Figure14.
Figure 14.Shin
ShinYu
YuPai’s
Pai’sperformance
performance “Embarkation,”
“Embarkation,”courtesy
courtesyofofForterra.
Forterra.
Thebeen
I had intention of physical
prohibited by themovements,
Moore Theater the physical
staff from materials,
showering anddust
the directly
arrangement of the
onto the space
stage floor,
suggested to me that ritual could not only open a performance, but also
so I confined my movements to pouring sand across a simple tea tray. I reached into my imagination invite viewers into the present
andwith me.
remembered the rituals involved with Japanese chanoyu, a tradition that I practiced with tea
In lieu of invoking
teachers in Chicago and Boulder. the gods, I contemplated the names of loved ones who I had lost to death,
and the end of a love relationship.
The intention of physical movements, I scrawled theBill’s initials
physical and added
materials, J.R.F.’s.
and I needed to release
the arrangement of the my
space
attachment to both of these spirits in order to fully move through grieving. Their initials I scribed into
suggested to me that ritual could
Figure not
14. Shin Yuonly open a performance,
Pai’s performance “Embarkation,” but alsoof invite
courtesy Forterra.viewers into the present
the sand, to leap forward to a moment in my poem when handwritten wishes are loaded onto the
with me.
boat before its Theincineration.
intention of physical movements, the physical materials, and the arrangement of the space
In lieu of invoking theritual
gods, I contemplated the names butof loved ones who Ithe had lost to death,
The body oftothe
suggested me artist
that could
became not
an only open alike
offering, performance,
the rabbit also
of invite
the viewers
jataka taleinto present
who throws herself
and the end of a love relationship. I scrawled Bill’s initials and added J.R.F.’s. I needed to release my
into the with
fire me.
as a gift to the Buddha. Perhaps it is no coincidence too that my Chinese birth aspect is
attachment In lieuof
toelement
both of these
invoking the gods,
spirits I contemplated
in order the names
to fully move of loved
through ones whoTheir
grieving. I had lost to death,
initials I scribed into
wood, the that fuels fire. See Figure 15.
and the end of a love relationship. I scrawled Bill’s initials and added J.R.F.’s. I needed to release my
the sand, to leap forward to a moment in my poem when handwritten wishes are loaded onto the boat
attachment to both of these spirits in order to fully move through grieving. Their initials I scribed into
before its incineration.
the sand, to leap forward to a moment in my poem when handwritten wishes are loaded onto the
The body of theitsartist
boat before became an offering, like the rabbit of the jataka tale who throws herself into
incineration.
the fire as a gift Thetobody of the artistPerhaps
the Buddha. became anitoffering, like the rabbittoo
is no coincidence of the
thatjataka
my tale who throws
Chinese birth herself
aspect is wood,
into the fire as a gift to the Buddha. Perhaps it is no coincidence too that my Chinese birth aspect is
the element that fuels fire. See Figure 15.
wood, the element that fuels fire. See Figure 15.
Figure 15. Shin Yu Pai with collaborator Scott Keva James’s two-channel video lighting up the stage.
Figure 15. Shin Yu Pai with collaborator Scott Keva James’s two-channel video lighting up the stage.
Figure 15. Shin Yu Pai with collaborator Scott Keva James’s two-channel video lighting up the stage.Genealogy 2020, 4, 92 13 of 13
Being held by an audience of strangers in articulating my grief supported me. As I spoke of
refusing to abandon the self, I moved into an interconnected space of catharsis and healing. Something
had shifted in speaking the words I needed to say into existence. A cord had been cut. I felt lighter. It
was not just the adrenaline from performing onstage.
Mimi does not turn away from seeing the film footage anymore. In reflecting on her experience
at the boat burning festival, she expressed gratitude. The ceremony led her down her own spiritual
journey to understand shamanism—how to make boundaries that keep from drawing the energy from
a ritual into one’s body. Her spiritual teacher encouraged a connection to Agni, the Vedic fire god of
Hinduism. Agni is a bridge between form and formlessness, a gateway to the gods. Over the past few
years, Mimi has grown into her practices to become a healer herself. Reflecting on our trip to the boat
burning ceremony, she writes:
Donggang was a huge turning point for me. Like Wang Yeh, now, I can also guide spirits
going into light, including aborted babies and animals. The trick is to give them lots of love.
The Wang Yeh boat burning continues to exist as an offering, particularly in this time of racial grief
and pandemic when the whole world mourns all that we are losing. As coronavirus swept through the
country, I felt the acute pain of anti-Asian rhetoric, media and public sentiment and a growing anxiety
and concern for my young mixed-race son who has Asian features. As we move into the sixth month
of sheltering in place, my attention shifts to those who are most vulnerable to the virus, conflated with
the ongoing and public violence against people of color. I watch the online footage of Black Lives
Matter protests across the country that also take place in my own city. On Capitol Hill, buildings are
set afire by protestors. Businesses in the Chinatown-International District are torched by arsonists. The
shell of a flaming car transmutes into the charred skeleton of a ship, its embers floating into the night
sky. May these vessels bear our suffering and shepherd us all safely to the other side.
Funding: This research received no external funding.
Acknowledgments: The author would like to thank Rachel Siân Breunlin for review of this manuscript and
editorial support, and Ye Mimi for her contributions to this article.
Conflicts of Interest: The author declares no conflict of interest.
© 2020 by the author. Licensee MDPI, Basel, Switzerland. This article is an open access
article distributed under the terms and conditions of the Creative Commons Attribution
(CC BY) license (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/).You can also read
