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VOICE NEWS / CULTURE / HEALTH / COMMUNITY / TRAVEL / FASHION / FOOD / YOUTH / HISTORY / FEATURES CO NN EC TIC UT hello james! “be everything. do everything.” JAMES WHITESIDE AMERICAN BALLET THEATRE PRINCIPAL DANCER
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™ PUBLISHER’S NOTE // Visit us online at www.ctvoicemag.com Follow us on Twitter Welcome to @ctvoicemag Connecticut VOICE! Like us on Facebook facebook.com/CT-Voice On behalf of everyone associated with CT VOICE, we are so pleased to partner with the LGTBQ community and Connecticut VOICE™ provide a voice for all. Every is published by Seasons Media voice is unique, interesting, meaningful and important, Publisher /Owner and this publication has a duty James Tully and privilege to present those Editor voices. I can promise you one Cara Rosner thing: we will always do our Associate Editor best and keep our minds open. Carol Latter Partnership is the most critical Director of Sales aspect of CT VOICE, and this Jaime Rudy inaugural issue has been a Creative Director cooperative effort among many Stacy Murray people and organizations in the Cover Photograph LGTBQ community. Our Board Amber Jones of Advisors offers essential input regarding the overall look, editorial content, style and direction of CT VOICE. They have been passionate about giving their time and energy to help ensure this publication reflects the many facets of the LGTBQ community. Thank you John Pica- Sneedan, Dawn Ennis, Frank Rizzo, Jeffrey Hoess-Brooks and Chion Wolf. They are smart, dedicated and very cool people. This magazine will be published on a quarterly basis but we hope to foster an ongoing dialogue and invite you to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and LinkedIn. We’d love to hear your thoughts and story ideas. Each issue will bring you engaging, thought-provoking, and fun stories. Editorial Advisory Contributors And beyond the written word, our CT VOICE Podcast with Chion Wolf is Carol Latter (Missing from photo) a must listen. If you know Chion, or just want a fascinating and in-depth Chion Wolf conversation, she will not disappoint. Dawn Ennis John Pica-Sneeden I would be remiss if I did not thank our advertising partners. The businesses Jeffrey Hoess-Brooks you see on these pages support the LGTBQ community and are enthusiastic Frank Rizzo about the opportunity to tell their story in CT VOICE. To advertise in CT VOICE contact Jaime Rudy, Director of Sales Jim jaime@seasonsmagazines.com ™ James Tully, Publisher jim@seasonsmagazines.com 4 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
“ TO BE WHAT YOU IT IS NEVER TOO LATE MIGHT HAVE BEEN.” –George Eliot ™ CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 5
IN THIS ISSUE // 44 THE INTERVIEW Ballet star, drag performer, entrepreneur: James Whiteside is all that, and so much more. 6 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
33 FASHION 57 FOOD Chef Denise Appel’s personal back- ground, as much as her professional pedigree, has made Zinc restaurant in New Haven what it is today. 18 38 SPIRIT HEALTH & Religion can be isolating and WELLNESS alienating, but there are churches Meet Kathryn Tierney, medical and spiritual leaders throughout director of the Transgender the state devoted to leading open Medicine Program at and inclusive houses of worship. Middlesex Health. 24 66 TRAVEL HISTORY Beautiful beaches, upscale hotels, The Stonewall Inn riots were hot restaurants and clubs, and an 50 years ago this year. How far unpretentious vibe: Asbury Park have we come from that awful 78 has it all. night in 1969? FEATURE They used to feel marginalized 33 74 as women, and often still feel FASHION erased from the narrative as trans PETS men. Three trans men share their Embrace Spring’s hottest trends For Amy Kenkel and Laurie while still feeling authentically struggles. Surprenant, their business Leaps like you. & Bones is a labor of love. 83 YOUTH True Colors offers young people a 10 safe, accepting place where they ADVENTURE can be themselves. Roller derby has come a long way from the 1970s stereotypes 86 it can evoke. This sport is not for the faint of heart. It’s rough, TRENDS physical, and increasing popular. A growing number of LGBTQ candidates are seeking – and being elected to – office in Connecticut. 93 ARTS & CULTURE For many LGBTQ students, school theater provides a place where they can be themselves – or, briefly, escape. CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 7
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ADVENTURE // LIFE IN THE FAST LANE 10 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
People of All Identities Enjoy a Game of I Hard Knocks By JANE LATUS Photography by ALLEGRA ANDERSON f you have any preconceived notions about roller derby – well, don’t. If you envision women zooming around a banked track in fishnets, tripping, punching and elbowing each other, you’re both wrong and old enough to remember the staged-for- TV roller derby of the ’70s. And if you think players are all tattooed, hard-partying lesbians – surprise: they’re not even all women. Today, roller derby includes everyone. Everyone, that is, looking for a full contact, strategic sport. Must be unfazed by bumps and bruises. Must learn to skate well enough to jump over fallen bodies. What doesn’t matter is gender, orientation or size. It’s Sunday night at Ron-A-Roll in Vernon, and Hartford Area Roller Derby (HARD) has invited other leagues to a scrimmage. Fans have brought folding chairs to watch the helmeted, padded skat- ers give it their all. And that’s exactly what they do: jammer Lammy Adder! executes an impres- sive diagonal leap over opposing blockers, and speeds off with a satisfied grin. Instead of getting slammed down any old way, JESStifiable has per- fected a dive that resembles a slide into base. One thing many people watching wouldn’t know is that these skaters are ages 18 to 61, trans- gender women, bisexual, queer, cis, straight and more, or that often men play, too. What is obvious is their passion for the game. Liberty Violence pulls on her skates, tears filling her eyes, and says with a slight tremble, “For me, derby is everything.” And yes, derby has historically been a lesbian draw, but it has evolved to be perhaps the most queer-inclusive sport going. “We definitely have a higher percentage of LGBTQ people than you’ll find in the general population,” says Marcy Mercury of New London, whose “government name” in derby lingo is The Beat City Bedrockers’ “Black Mamba” (#45) takes a spill as she tries to pass the blockers during a roller derby match. CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 11
Colleen Lavin. She joined Shoreline Roller Derby after “A lot of thought goes into choosing a college. derby name,” says Scary Poppins (Lau- “I really wanted to find a place to make some less-than- ren DeFoe of New Haven), who was a straight friends,” she says. “I identify as queer bisexual, and nanny when she chose her name and I know there are a lot of people on that spectrum. It was ac- plays with Connecticut Roller Derby tually really validating for me, because in college you don’t (CTRD). meet a lot of bisexual people.” By day, Amanda Hutchinson of “That was part of why I joined, because I’m queer my- Ledyard is a journalist. But she is self,” says BB-SK8 (Hamden resident Lyndsey Gress) of Fly By Night Fury with Shoreline, HARD. She stayed because, “I love the athleticism of it, the where she “found a place where community of it, and I’ve made some really solid friends.” I can be way cooler than I actu- ally am.” A former player, she now SOME DERBY BASICS coaches and refs in the sport. Roller derby is more accessible than its 1930s incarna- Team names range from all-busi- tion, since it’s now played on a flat track in any roller rink or ness (Connecticut All-Stars) to aggres- gym. After fizzling in the 1970s, it was revived in the 2000s sive (Cutthroats) to mischievous (Beat in today’s form of organizations run by and for athletes. City Bedrockers). A game, or bout, has two 30-minute periods, each with As for fishnets, you may still find them, multiple two-minute increments called jams. Teams include depending on the team. HARD’s A-team a jammer and four blockers. Blockers hold back the oppos- wears a strict uniform. “They come out as ing jammer while helping their own jammer pass. Jammers a force,” says Mohammed I’lleatcha (Aisha score a point for every opponent they lap. Mohammed of Manchester), but its B-team gets Skaters use their hips and shoulders to shove opponents, creative with leggings or booty shorts. but must hit within the legal blocking zone – basically, the torso. ALL ARE WELCOME, Derby is equal opportunity for body types because EVEN NON-SKATERS whether jamming or blocking, small and large skaters can Connecticut has three leagues. Shoreline, use their size to their advantage. which practices in Plainfield, is all-gender. HARD in Vernon and CTRD in Water- SELF-EXPRESSION PREVAILS bury are members of Derby retains its camp traditions in the form of creative the Women’s names and personal expression in dress. Flat Track 12 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
Derby Association and follow the association’s policy of admitting anyone except players identify- ing as male. There is no men’s league in Connecticut, but the nearby Mass Maelstrom, member of the Men’s Roller Derby Association, welcomes every iden- tity. There is also an opportunity for younger players to take part. In 2017, Connecticut’s two all-gender junior leagues for ages seven through 17, merged into one, now known as the Connecticut Junior Roller Derby. Practices are held in Groton and Waterbury. JESStifiable (Jessica Firrin of New London) played just about every men’s sport “mostly for cover, because I knew I was a girl but I didn’t want anyone to know.” She joined derby as soon as she learned it wel- comed her. “Not only was it challenging, and aligned with all the sports I’ve done, but it’s the only one that’s accepted trans women.” A specta- tor at one of her early bouts heckled her, but fortunately JESStifiable was too focused on the game to hear, and HARD issued a strong condem- nation of the heckler’s behavior. Her biggest obstacle, JESStifiable says, was “I couldn’t skate!” Obviously, she learned. “I also learned how inclusive derby is. It’s a whole new community of strong, caring, powerful, badass women.” “A lot of people start out wildly uncoor- dinated … like drunken Bambis,” says BB- SK8. “You never see adults look so scared as new derby players.” The first trans woman skater in New England, Miss Identified (Andee Scallion of Hartford) joined HARD in 2012. Another CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 13
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team’s skater protested playing against a “male” player – but THERE’S HITTING, HARD stood up for her. BUT IT’S STRATEGIC “People have been so kind to me and very accepting. It’s “I like landing good, clean hits! Taking someone out of really been a positive experience. There were a few bumps play, oh yeah, it is so satisfying,” says BB-SK8. “I know it along the way, but the last few years especially have been looks very chaotic, but on the track there’s constant commu- remarkable,” says Miss Identified, now with CTRD. nication. There’s so much thinking. I don’t know any other One “bump” was being frequently misgendered, but that sport where there’s so much rapid, active thinking.” inspired the derby name she loves. And she no longer has Players extol the game’s physical and mental benefits. “It negative experiences. “Not in roller derby. In the real world, keeps me in shape, mentally too,” says HARD President yes.” Liberty Violence (Alana Angle of Bristol). Derby’s diversity appeals to straight players, too: Deja “Part of becoming physically stronger and becoming VuDoo (Jocelyn Jenik of Old Lyme), who plays for the proficient at those skills gives you confidence in real life,” Shoreline Roller Derby out of Groton, calls herself “a says HARD’s Karma’kaz E. straight, cis female and staunch LGBTQI ally. One of the Killer (Alicia Bray joys of roller derby for me has been it has allowed me to of Windsor). develop lasting friendships with a more diverse group of “What I re- people than I would normally encounter in my day-to-day ally like life.” That diversity includes skaters’ professions: engineers, librarians, teachers, accountants, welders, web develop- ers, scientists, nurses, retail workers, students and an autopsy technician. CTRD President Sinnin Sonic (Heather Barron of Hamden) says derby’s popularity is surging and attri- butes that primarily to it being “all-inclusive. Every type of person can get involved, and it’s a different way to show strength and power. It’s a place you can go and be yourself. And it’s fun to smash into people.” Which raises derby’s real appeal: it’s fun, and not just to play. Says Sinnin Sonic, “Good derby is very fun to watch.” CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 15
about derby is it gives women an opportunity to be As for that partying reputa- aggressive, and that’s not allowed in general soci- tion, players do become tight ety. This is a place where we can let it all out.” friends, and go out after each Lammy Adder! (Myra Lam of Northampton, bout. And as the old derby Mass. and the Western Massachusetts Roller Derby saying goes, “We don’t Association) likes that “derby teaches women to always win the take up space without apologizing.” Society, she bout, but we al- says, tells women “go on a diet, cross your legs, say ways win the you’re sorry.” She coaches skaters with, “Don’t say after-party.” sorry. Get in each other’s space.” WANT TO PLAY? The foremost requirement, says HARD’s Liberty Violence, is commitment. Practices are two or three times a week, cross-training is recommended, and everyone pitches in to run the league. CTRD’s Sinnin Sonic agrees. She started out unable to skate. “I went from rookie to All-Star (the A-team) in under a year. I worked my butt off, though, because I wanted that. I thought, ‘They’re so intimidating, they’re so cool. I want to do that.’” Jane Latus is a writer and personal trainer living in Canton. She and her spouse Ken have an escalating number of cats and two grown sons, one transgender and one gay. See additional photos at www.CTVoiceMag.com and follow us on twitter, instagram and pinterest 16 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
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SPIRIT // Rev. Keri Aubert, left, and her wife, Rev. Jakki Flanagan, right, have strong roots in social justice causes. Photo by TONY BACEWICZ 18 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
These Churches and Leaders Offer a Spiritual Home for Everyone F By CARA McDONOUGH aith can be a complicated issue for many, Thomas’, then under the leadership of Rev. Michael but particularly for LGBTQ individuals Ray, made national news when it announced that who do not feel accepted by their church it would perform no marriage services at all until community. the Episcopalian Church began allowing same-sex That feeling of isolation, clergy say, marriages. lead some to wrestle with heavy questions about Still, she continually looks for ways to improve where their lifestyle fits in with their religion. But the role of St. Thomas’, and the Episcopalian throughout the state, there are churches and spiritual Church as a whole, in being accepting, open-minded leaders devoted to being open and affirming – ensur- and progressive – for the LGBTQ community, but ing all people, regardless of their sexual identity, can for other marginalized communities, too. find a spiritual home. Here are just a few. “I believe that an individual’s liberation is never fully attained until you fight for the liberation of St. Thomas’ Episcopal Church others,” she says from her welcoming office at the New Haven church and day school, decorated with comfortable Rev. Keri Aubert is no stranger to fighting the chairs, rows of books and various knickknacks that good fight. She spent years working for LGBTQ entertain visitors of all ages. rights around the country, including serving as a Some of her regular visitors find their way from project manager for the Episcopalian Church as it Yale Divinity School for a chat, she says, and are developed resources for blessing same-sex unions. evidence that the good fight is far from over. They Her wife, Rev. Jakki Flanagan, now the emergency sometimes break down right there in her office, she department attending chaplain at Yale-New Haven says, wondering how they can be both Christian and Hospital, has similar roots in social justice. gay. In her current role as the Priest-in-Charge at St. “I feel like that’s part of my role here,” she says. Thomas’ Episcopal Church in New Haven, she “To be an out, gay clergy member so that they can doesn’t have to tear down barriers daily. The church, see what that looks like. I try to be that voice that visible from Whitney Avenue with its bright red reminds them that God loves them just the way they door and rainbow flag flying above, has a solid re- are.” cent history when it comes to inclusion. In 2005, St. Aubert is an especially compassionate mentor CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 19
because her own journey took time. She didn’t come Congregational Church, the oldest predominantly black out until she was 30 and attended seminary at 41 after church in Hartford. Its history makes clear that accep- working as a chemical engineer. Raised Roman Catholic, tance of the LGBTQ community is part of its overall she felt called to the ministry but knew she had to find a mission. spiritual home that welcomed her as she was. The Epis- “It’s really the mandate of how we understand and copalian church felt right, and she landed at St. Thomas’ interpret the faith. Jesus was a welcoming person. He in 2015. didn’t throw people away, he embraced them. I think Aubert feels that – now more than ever – churches that’s what this church has understood over the decades, need to speak up, loudly, on issues of social justice, and we have to find a way to even embrace that more reacting to churches that seem to ally themselves with fully,” he says. incredibly troubling movements, like white Christian Camp says not only are gay, lesbian and transgender nationalism. individuals embraced at the UCC-affiliated church, but “It’s time to step up,” she says. “It’s as important a the congregation makes sure their sexual or gender iden- time as any for us to be part of the public conversation. tity isn’t a barrier to serving in church leadership roles, This is a congregation [St. Thomas’] where we can do like becoming deacons or chairing committees. that.” Ensuring individuals find spiritual fulfillment while She hopes to continue helping the church find its voice feeling comfortable in a church community is a chal- on multiple social justice issues within and beyond the lenge, and an ongoing process, Camp says. church walls. She hopes that the LGBTQ community at “I have heard stories of people who have searched for large will do the same. a long part of their lives for a place,” he says. “And it “My dream is that the gay community starts stepping can be harder in the black community.” up on issues of race,” she says. But this acceptance and a continual emphasis on social She points out the Bible’s overall message is one of justice is part of the long-standing goal at Faith Congre- acceptance, an idea now more crucial than ever, and gational. Established in 1819, in the church’s first few proof of religion’s crucial role in ensuring all feel wel- decades, it opened the first school for black children come when it comes to faith. in Hartford, was heavily involved in the New England “There is a place in Christianity for you,” she says. abolitionist movement, and offered crucial support in the “It’s all about love.” New Haven Amistad slave case. In more recent years, the church has continued to Faith Congregational Church, Hartford lobby for issues such as public education improvements “Justice is in the DNA of this church,” says Rev. and then-Gov. Dannel Malloy’s 2016 efforts to promote Stephen W. Camp, explaining the rich history of Faith juvenile justice reforms. 20 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
Stephen W. Camp of Faith Congregational Church in Hartford welcomes all. Photo by TODD FAIRCHILD Camp knows that more progress will occur as the church celebrates its 200th anniversary in 2019 – and beyond. “Unfortunately, the church is one of the institutions, like government and educa- tion, that moves very slowly,” he says, noting that many faith-based institutions still have progress to make. Yet he is hopeful. “I do think the whole church is changing. I think it is slowly trying to understand how to embrace everyone and have that sense of equality … that sense of knowing that all of us are children of God.” Spring Glen United Church of Christ, Hamden In 2017, the Spring Glen United Church of Christ (UCC) celebrated an important anniversary. Twenty years had passed since the church voted to become “open and affirming,” the UCC’s designa- tion for congregations that fully welcome Faith Congregational Church in Hartford. Photo by TODD FAIRCHILD people of all sexual orientations, gender identities and gender expressions. “It was pretty early on in the open and affirming movement,” says Rev. Jack Davidson, who has been at the helm of CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 21
Spring Glen United Church of Christ, Hamden. Photo by DANIEL EUGENE the Hamden-based church for two years. For the anniversary of the 1997 decision, he wanted to do more than celebrate their long- standing dedication to embracing all people, including the LGBTQ community; he wanted to expand that notion. “In 2017, we spent time recom- mitting to this idea. What has changed in 20 years and how we do we lean into it more?” he says. The year included special events, discussions and public displays. A transgender chaplain came to speak, the church put together an interfaith presence at the New Haven Pride, and an art installation made up of multicol- or chairs was placed on the front lawn, accenting the rainbow on the Spring Glen UCC permanent sign, to name just a few. At Spring Glen UCC, weekly sermons repeatedly draw on queer, black and native history The church’s emphasis on to highlight stories of people in the margins. Photo by DANIEL EUGENE 22 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
Spring Glen parishioners of all ages, backgrounds, and gender and sexual identities come to worship as they are, knowing they will not only be accepted, but welcomed and affirmed. Photo by DANIEL EUGENE inclusivity didn’t stop at the end of the anniversary year. identities together and reclaim their faith,” he says. But what makes Spring Glen UCC’s approach truly One way to help those feeling marginalized? Look to the inspiring is Rev. Davidson’s insistence that being actively Bible for guidance, he says. “affirming” means resisting complacency. “If you really believe that all humans are made in God’s And that means continually evolving. image, why would you deny someone’s divinity?” he asks, Weekly sermons repeatedly draw on queer, black and noting the flip side of the messages sanctioning exclusivity native history to highlight stories of people in the margins. that some conservative church leaders claim to find in scrip- Parishioners of all ages, backgrounds, and gender and sexual ture. “There is story after story in the Bible of Jesus trying identities come to worship as they are. to confront leaders and show them a more loving way.” “I’m a white, cis male and part of being an ally is raising A large sign in Davidson’s office, presented to him when up other voices,” he says. As a church leader, this means he joined the congregation, reads: “God is Love.” enthusiastically welcoming the LGBT parishioners who “If anything,” he says. “I want all the children and adults may feel rejected by the denominations they knew growing in the world to know that.” up. “They are still trying to figure out how to put their two Cara McDonough is a freelance writer who lives in Hamden with her family. You can find more of her work at www.caramcduna.com. CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 23
TRAVEL // Colorful murals dot the city and provide festive backdrops for beachgoers, bicyclists and tourists - like this spectacular creation at the end of the boardwalk at the casino by an female artist who goes by the name Indie184. 24 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
Come with us! Asbury Park A Different Kind of Beach Escape Written and Photographed by FRANK RIZZO CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 25
Recycled doors provide the canvases for artistic expression at one downtown eatery. Cookman Avenue is filled with cafes The famous boardwalk has been part The Wonder Bar is a favorite hangout offering a wide selection of places to of Asbury Park’s beach identity for known for live music, tasty food and the meet and greet. decades and is filled with stands with a world famous Yappy Hour, where dogs wide variety of street food. Anyone for a run the show. Korean fusion taco? 26 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
ooking for a gay vacation mecca where you’re surrounded by only rainbow-loving people? Honey, that’s so 20th Century. The need for an ex- clusive gay oasis where LGBTQ vacationers could feel festive, free and safe was understandable, and necessary, in the post- Stonewall/AIDS decades. But for gay millennials, as well as for their older broth- ers and sisters, it’s now more about traveling to interesting places that welcome a wider spectrum of diversity for the gay – as well as (gasp!) straight – community, too. For the Connecticut crowd, the go-to choices for exclusive escapes have been Fire Island, N.Y., Provincetown, Mass., or any number of gay cruise lines. But now, a new wave of cities, resorts and vaca- tion destinations are wooing gays with full-throttle campaigns to come party, chill and have “experi- ences” – and mix it up with the welcoming locals, too. Toronto, Philadelphia, Washington, Palm Springs, New Orleans, and Montreal are among the places that seek out gay travelers to their diverse cities. But for something a little closer to home, and a bit beachier, think New Jersey. Yes, New Jersey. And then think Asbury Park, that raffish town with a checkered past that is perhaps best known for its epic beach boardwalk and the Stone Pony, the rock nightclub where Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band got their start. THE GAME CHANGER There’s also something “outsider”-cool about A.P., which is less than two hours by train from New York’s Penn Station or simply a car ride down the Garden State Parkway. “It’s not pretentious at all,” says Russell Lewis, owner of Watermark, a popular restaurant and craft cocktail bar on the boardwalk. “Asbury doesn’t have that look-at-me-I’m-a-model kind of gay crowd. It’s a much friendlier, easy-going, flip-flop kind of place.” Just a short walk from the boardwalk, Cookman Avenue offers a wide selection of shops, bars, galleries and restaurants. CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 27
It’s taken more than 30 years for the 100-year-plus building with a kind of city to recover from the riots of 1970 fading dowager funk. and its follow-up years associated For the partying crowd, it’s the with crime and drugs. Since the turn four-story Empress Hotel at the other of the millennium, the city has seen end of the boardwalk with its rooms major changes, some coming incre- overlooking the pool – and its sassy mentally and some – especially in the scene, which includes tea dances. last few years – coming at a gallop- (Think P-Town’s Boatslip meets “The ing development pace. This always a Ritz.”) The adjoining Paradise night- gay-friendly city, one which hosts the club, with its dance party atmosphere statewide Jersey Pride in early June, and drag shows also keep things hop- has a new wave of restaurants, shops, ping for the late-night crowd. and offers hotels that will tempt a diverse crowd to turn the beach day DOWN ON THE into a beach weekend, or longer. BOARDWALK The new big kid on the block is Oh yes, there’s a beach, too, and The Asbury Ocean Club, which opens you’ll find most of the LGBTQ crowd this spring – and it’s a game-changer. congregated near the Fifth Avenue The 17-story building at 1101 Ocean entrance to the boardwalk, next to Avenue was developed by iStar and Paramount, where you can catch a is a gigantic physical embodiment of live concert, depending on the night. significant change for the city. It fea- (Rock & Roll Hall of Famer Dion tures residential homes, a beach club, was playing on our weekend.) a boutique hotel, and an array of retail The long boardwalk seems almost amenities that will no doubt further wide enough to land a cargo plane, boost that end of town. with a water park, miniature golf It’s next door to another iStar new- course, and the classic Silverball Mu- bie, The Asbury Hotel, which opened seum Arcade that’s like stepping into in 2016 and has a cool, hipster vibe. A your pinball past. There are plenty of former Salvation Army building, the food shacks that offer goodies from 110-room Asbury shows the respect crepes to lemonade (at the appropri- for re-purposing buildings that gives ately named Pucker) to Korean fusion this funky town its continuing char- tacos. There also are higher-end acter. It’s a great hangout place, too, eateries such as Cubacán, a Cuban with a bar in its atrium lobby that’s fusion restaurant, and Watermark with usually packed when there’s a live rooftop dining, too. You can also get band playing. It also has a rooftop a psychic reading at Madame Marie’s, lounge and yoga area, outdoor movie run by her granddaughters since the theater, and a spacious pool area, late founder’s death. Tell them Bruce complete with its own food truck and sent you. rows of pergolas for shady lounging. The Stone Pony is literally a stone’s Besides rooms that have a higher throw from the boardwalk, where price tag, it also offers hostel-style it also has an outdoor stage. And a “quad” or “octo” rooms for those who block away there’s the nightclub/ can share and like to keep expenses grill Wonder Bar, with its iconic lower. outdoor mural of Tillie, a replica of For a more intimate feel, there’s the creepy-grinning face that was The Asbury Park boardwalk was the cozy but classy Tides Hotel on originally located on the side of the renovated and strengthened several Seventh Avenue with executive chef long-gone Palace Amusements. years prior to Hurricane Sandy Julio Cruz reigning at its sophisticat- and survived the storm while other Then take a 10-minute walk for boardwalks in nearby towns were ed-but-casual restaurant. For a taste your second wave of shopping, destroyed. The promenade features of old-time A.P., there’s the Berke- restaurants and farmers’ markets, to eateries, boutiques, a water park, ley Oceanfront Hotel, located in a nearby Cookman Avenue. There are miniature golf and live music. 28 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
A vintage vibe gives many of the shops Specialty shops for cigars, vintage A kind of people’s artistic park in in the downtown district a visual pop. clothing, psychics and rare and the downtown district invites folks paranormal books give Cookman to donate art to the collection — or Avenue its eclectic flair. purchase pieces. CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 29
To some city planners, it’s an empty lot. For Asbury Park, it’s another opportunity for a spectacular mural on Cookman Avenue. This one by an artist Mike La Vallee,who goes by the name Porkchop. art galleries, retro-clothing shops, burlesque. It adjoins a vintage diner Quinn says Asbury Park has been gyms, crafts stores (one of which also that is open until 4 a.m. on weekends, kept alive by the energy and diversity teaches glassblowing), breweries, 24 hours a day on summer weekends. of its communities: “There’s the artist coffee, tea and poke hangouts, an art community, the music community, house cinema, a cigar shop, book- FLASHBACK TO PRESENT the African-American community, the stores, salons, and a mid-century furni- Located in conservative Monmouth church community and, of course, the ture shop. And who can resist a salon County, A.P. has long been a pro- gay community. These are the people that’s called Hot Mess? gressive, bohemian, artistic and gay who stayed when everyone else was For a more neighborhood-karaoke enclave. fleeing. My favorite description of type of watering hole, there’s the old- “It’s always been downright wel- Asbury was by a woman in town time Georgies at 819 Fifth Avenue, coming to the LGBTQ community, who said, ‘Asbury Park is the Isle of which is often described as “the gay and it continues to be,” says Amy Misfit Toys.’ Maybe you didn’t fit in Cheers,” but hardly the Norm. Quinn, Asbury Park Deputy Mayor, elsewhere but you can find a home in The cool kids hang at Asbury Lanes and an out gay woman. Asbury Park.” bowling alley that’s been renovated Side note: Asbury Park was one of And some literally did just that. and “hipified” four years ago – also by the very first, and few, places giving “The gays were instrumental in iStar – and also features live perfor- out marriage licenses and marrying making the city’s resurrection hap- mances ranging from musical acts to same-sex couples in 2004. pen,” says Kim Powers. The New 30 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
“ ... ASBURY PARK HAS BEEN KEPT ALIVE BY THE ENERGY AND DIVERSITY OF ITS COMMUNITIES: York-based senior writer at ABC’s “20/20” discovered Asbury Park in the ’90s and bought a home there in 2004 with his husband, Tony Award-winning Broadway costume designer Jess Goldstein. “We used to go to P-Town every summer – 13 years in a row – but it was such a long trip to get there. Then we discovered Asbury Park.” They consider themselves early settlers there. “The true gay ‘pio- neers’ bought in the ‘90s,” he laughs. “At that time, there were two an- tique shops and a few places to eat but nothing to write home about.” “THERE’S THE ARTIST Gradually, that changed as more and more people found deals in some of the one-of-a-kind Victorian and American Craftsman homes. COMMUNITY, THE MUSIC “But it didn’t emerge as an exclusive gay Shangri-La,” says Powers. “We prettied things up for everyone else to then come in.” COMMUNITY, THE AFRICAN- That included artists, musicians, hipsters, millennials, young couples, and families, too – some of whom were gay, but many were AMERICAN COMMUNITY, not. The gay sensibility was still there to a degree but now just part of a larger and more dynamic whole. THE CHURCH COMMUNITY “Instead, it emerged as this 21st Century place,” says Powers, “which is very mixed, very accepting, with an artistic-hipster-gay kind AND, OF COURSE, THE of vibe, a kind of a who-needs-labels kind of place.” Says Watermark’s Lewis: “Welcome to assimilation. It’s what we’ve GAY COMMUNITY.” all been fighting for.” Oh yes, there’s a beach too, and it’s a long welcoming stretch that draws bathers, sun worshipers and volleyball enthusiasts. The gay section is near the Palace Theatre/Convention Hall. Frank Rizzo has written about the arts in Connecticut and nationally for more than 40 years; for The New York Times, American Theatre Magazine and dozens of other outlets. He is also a theater critic for Variety. Follow Frank’s work at ShowRiz.com and on Twitter @ShowRiz. CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 31
FASHION // by MAR JENNINGS FASHION a drag SHOULD NOT BE FIND YOUR INNER FASHIONISTA! CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 33
D Even if you’re not looking to project a larger-than-life persona, take a cue from these drag queens from season 10 of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and let the clothes you wear help you express your inner personality. id I get your attention? also should follow these same fundamental rules. First and foremost, I’d like to As a fashion connoisseur with years in the television in- welcome you to my column, a fun dustry, I have walked many red carpets – from the Daytime approach to fashion that embraces Emmy Awards to New York City Fashion Week – and along personality and individuality. That the way, I’ve met and interviewed some of the biggest fash- said, no one personifies personal- ion icons, designers and celebrities. Jane Seymour, Michael ity and individuality more than a Kors, Ralph Lauren, Badgley Mischka, and Joan Rivers, to professional drag queen. Truth be name a few. They all had the same thing in common: they told, when I learned I was going to meet the queens of “Ru- all owned their looks and embraced their talents and who Paul’s Drag Race” Season 10 when they were performing in they are. New Haven, I had no idea how marvelous and on point they That said, let’s delineate the difference between fashion would be for my premier article in CT VOICE. and style. Fashion is just clothing that is currently popular. Drag queens take their inner personalities and create But style is how we wear it to express ourselves. A properly bigger-than-life characters, always building from who they dressed person can evoke confidence and power. For exam- are. Great personal style and dress, when done correctly, ple, have you ever had to wear something, for someone, that 34 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
“ Lines, edges and curves should be embraced, as all shapes are fashion worthy. you absolutely hated? Perhaps for a wedding or celebration? How did that make you feel? Did you feel confident? Com- pare that to when you dress for yourself when you want to ” How you dress and what you wear personifies feeling great about yourself, and that means being comfortable and confident. Analyze your body and learn what looks best. feel wonderful. Finding your comfort zone and what works Lines, edges and curves should be embraced, as all shapes for you begins with loving yourself and allowing yourself to are fashion worthy. Spend a little time on what you feel best become the best you can be. in. It will infiltrate your whole mood and being. A skinny One does not need to spend excess money or only buy jean might be “in,” but if it doesn’t make you feel comfort- designer labels to be a fashion icon or look great. Some of able, you’ll never look stylish. Loving our bodies and know- the best-dressed people are resourceful and creative. ing what makes us different and more interesting than others Mar Jennings is a TV host, author, lifestyle expert and realtor. CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 35
Mar’s go-to? Brooks Brothers, for its classic men’s fashions. is the best way to take care of ourselves. are your footwear choice, build your wardrobe around them. Knowing what works is just as important as knowing what The key is to own your personality and style. Individuality to wear. For many of us, the key and knowing what works for you, not way to discover our style is knowing others, is truly what style is all about. the brands that work for both our Learning who you are “in fashion” will bodies and personalities. far outlast any hot, of-the-moment trend I admire the Brooks Brothers that you won’t feel comfortable in, or brand and have always found the later hate yourself for wearing. (We’ve classic, gentlemen’s fashions of all been there, done that!) yesterday to be my signature style. A So why should we care about how we sports coat, pocket square and dark look and what we wear? No matter how jeans is a casual uniform for my dai- wrong it may be, people do judge a book ly business. I know what works for by its cover. Your “cover” should reflect me and I stay in my fashion comfort your core self-worth. We should love zone. I learned many years ago that how we live, and truly living can’t be a purple velvet jacket, leather pants, possible without some understanding of and sneakers do not fit my personal- what makes us look great. ity, regardless of how great they may What does your clothing say about look on someone else. you? Creative, handy, conservative, If you love wearing bowties, make rocker, fashion-forward? Does it repre- them your signature. If combat boots sent your true personality? Even our age 36 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
If you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else? –RuPaul can be defined by the bringing back this ’90s clothing we select and staple. Coast to coast, what we use to acces- celebrities as varied as sorize. Work, casual, Emmy Rossum, John and play wear can range Mellencamp and Selena in style, but the one Gomez have all recently thing that should never gotten press for rocking vacillate is what makes overalls. So, does this us feel comfortable. One mean we should all run thing is for sure: we are out and get them for all unique billboards ourselves? Only you that people read when know the right answer. we walk into a room. If you feel great wearing Learning how to them, and have an ap- work core pieces into propriate place to wear an everyday wardrobe them, then own it and is something that comes rock them. from knowing what Dressing to impress clothing to have in begins with impress- your closet. For men, ing yourself, knowing owning a great suit is a what works for you staple and for women, and identifying your it could be a simple own personal style. It’s black dress or pantsuit. all about mixing and But this is where your matching until you find personality can upgrade what’s best for you. any boring outfit. A fun So, when you see tie, belt or jewelry can those glossy magazines, personify you. The key ask yourself this: What is to allow yourself to would these models be reflect on what you love wearing if they were not and adore in clothing. dressed for the photo I have this one friend shoot? Hair, makeup who is totally into one- and clothing can make of-a-kind necklaces and a person, but personal- every day, no matter ity, individuality and what the occasion, you self-worth are far more will find her wearing interesting and fun. Whatever you choose to wear, wear it confidently. one of these conversation One of the best quotes pieces. Over the decades, I can leave you with is, she has curated quite a collection. I asked her about her of course, from the iconic drag queen RuPaul: “If you can’t devotion to her necklace collection and she said, “It’s my love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else?” armor! I can do anything wearing them, and they make me Take the power and control how people see you by loving happy. From painting a room to a black-tie event, I have yourself, knowing what works for you and avoiding trends. them for all occasions.” I loved her response. Discover your inner fashionista, and fashion will never be a Let’s take a moment and talk about trends and why we drag. should avoid them. One great example is overalls! Yes, you read that correctly. Fashion editors and celebrities are Stay MARvelous! CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 37
HEALTH & WELLNESS // BECOMING THEMSELVES At Middlesex Health, Transgender Patients T Find Empathy and Assistance By JAMES BATTAGLIO hose considering to 12 months after that. These patients hosting a gender are seen sooner if acute issues occur. reveal party may Tierney explains that for transgen- wish to hold off a der patients, there is a “disconnect” few years before an- between the body they’re born with nouncing the gender and their real identity. of their child. “This is where the rub is,” she says. Such parties, which are becoming “For almost all of us, our gender iden- a popular trend among expectant par- tity matches the kind of body we were ents while their child is still in utero, born into. For transgender people, are premature, according to Kathryn most of them are born into a body that Tierney, MSN APRN, FNP-BC, med- doesn’t match.” ical director of Middlesex Health’s For the most part, gender identity is Transgender Medicine Program. solidified between ages 2 and 4, says “Gender reveal parties are not actu- Tierney. That’s when most kids start ally correct,” says Tierney. “You may dividing into groups when playing. see a cake that’s pink in the middle A lot of her patients will tell her they or people releasing certain color were born male and were expected to balloons that represent the gender of the child would feel that it didn’t fit do male things, but they would prefer their expectant baby. The problem is with his internal sense of identity,” she to be with their mother or with female that the word ‘gender’ doesn’t actually explains. friends, or do things that society mean what kind of genitals a baby has. Tierney, a Cheshire resident and would consider female. You don’t know what gender that baby mother of two, came to Middlesex “It gets harder to understand it is because our gender is defined by our Health from the Hospital of Central because we’re pushing into a world culture – and the baby or child needs Connecticut in 2014. Since 2006, the where girls can play baseball and boys to experience our culture before their nurse practitioner has specialized in can do art, but in our culture, we have gender identity is known.” transgender hormone therapy and very set things that are male and fe- Tierney says her patients consis- endocrinology. “Transgender care male, and boys and girls are expected tently tell her that at a very early age, encompasses all types of care, but in to do a certain number of things that they knew their gender differed from endocrinology, we take care of the make them fit into their gender. When their birth sex. hormonal part of it,” she says. the way we see our self internally “When I ask our transgender Middlesex Health treats some 700 doesn’t match with the way the world patients how they knew they were a patients a year, starting or continuing sees us, it makes it very uncomfortable certain gender, they tell me that when hormones for patients who are transi- for these patients,” she says. they were young kids, they knew tioning from one gender to the other “The expectations of these children, something was different about them, “or finding their way in the middle.” starting early, were that they were to that something wasn’t right. Mothers New transgender patients who are act a certain way. When they didn’t, would tell girls to wear a dress and the being treated with hormone therapy that’s when they realized they were child felt that was crazy. Or a father are evaluated at least every three different.” wanted his son to play baseball and months for the first year, and every six Years ago, young males with effemi- 38 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
For Tierney, treating the transgender patient is more than just a profession. It’s a privilege, a cause and a vital service she performs daily. Kathryn Tierney says not all transitioning patients undergo surgery because the transition from one gender to another has less to do with one’s physical body and more to do with one’s identity. CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019 39
nate traits or preferences were termed a neophallus, or new penis. (It can be Campaign’s Healthcare Equality Index. “sissies,” while young females with performed on those with significant Tierney, who grew up in a non- some masculine traits or preferences clitoral growth from the use of tes- traditional family, recognized from a were known as tomboys. Both terms tosterone.) These patients can urinate young age the cruelty often aimed at have pretty much worked their way out but are not always able to engage in someone dubbed “queer.” Today, she of today’s social lexicon, Tierney says. intercourse. Phalloplasty is a gender heads a 30-member committee that She says “the word ‘transition’ reassignment surgical procedure that meets monthly to review policies and encompasses a lot of things for people involves grafting skin from an arm ensure they’re in line with protecting who are transitioning from one gender to create a penis with erotic and/or transgender, gay and lesbian patients to another.” tactile sensation, as well as rigidity and employees. Not all female patients who are for sexual intercourse (usually with a “Ideally, the entire health system is transitioning to male – or male patients penile implant) and the ability to stand involved in the transgender program,” transitioning to female – undergo to urinate. In both procedures, there are she says. The committee includes surgery, says Tierney, because the tran- risks, says Tierney. Middlesex Health’s chief of psychia- sition from one gender to another has “Surgery is a personal choice for try, who co-chairs the committee with less to do with one’s physical body and a variety of reasons, ranging from Tierney; social workers; physical and more to do with one’s identity. Still, non-insurance, time away from work, speech therapists; nurses; Emergency she notes, “our physical presentation is or other co-morbidities that prevent Department professionals; and the important in our culture.” them from safely having surgery,” says chair of the Department of Medicine. Trans men generally receive tes- Tierney. “Some choose not to have “It’s my job to assure that providers tosterone injections, which results any kind of surgery but to just remain are trained and educated in trans care, in beard growth and a deeper voice. on hormones. A lot of Connecticut so that if a transgender patient shows These patients present as male but still residents have had surgery. The Con- up in the Emergency Department, I’m have a female chest. necticut TransAdvocacy Coalition not the only one that knows how to “That makes it much more difficult worked hard to make sure that Con- take care of them correctly. ER person- for them to be themselves in public,” necticut residents have the option of nel, radiology, specialists, surgeons, says Tierney. “So they have chest sur- having surgery through their insurance, registrars … anybody coming in con- gery to flatten their chests to the degree and because of the coalition’s efforts, tact with a transgender patient should that a male has. What they choose to coverage of trans-related services is know how to address and treat a trans do with their genitals is completely a mandated in this state.” patient,” she explains. “It’s important personal decision; there’s no such thing For the trans female patient who to use the right name and right gender as a ‘complete’ transition. Everybody chooses to undergo surgery, there are pronouns and make sure our charts and has to transition in the way they’re several procedures available. They systems are presenting the patient as comfortable in their body. Sometimes include a tracheal shave to reduce the they are, and not as they were. Also, that means hormones and surgery, and size of the Adam’s apple, voice thera- we make sure that, clinically, we’re sometimes that means surgery only. It py, breast augmentation, vaginoplasty, being safe in which labs we’re looking depends on the person.” and testicle removal, Tierney says. at and which medications we’re using. For the trans male patients who Of Middlesex Health’s 700 trans- You always want to make sure you’re choose surgery, there are a number of gender patients, about 30% have had not giving patients undue side effects.” options. surgical procedures. For Tierney, treating the transgender “Chest surgery is the most common When Tierney came to Middlesex in patient is more than just a profession. and most dysphoria-reducing surgery 2014, the health system began its com- It’s a privilege, a cause and a vital that trans men undergo,” Tierney says. mitment to introduce a comprehensive service she performs daily. She’s quick Chest surgery, or “top surgery,” as it is transgender program, which included to recognize that transgender patients, widely referred to, is a double mastec- the training of staff, volunteers, and in general, face a lot of discrimination tomy in which breast tissue is removed “all the way up to our CEO,” she says. in many ways, in employment, sexual and the chest is contoured to give it Gender-neutral, single-stall lavato- assault, housing, and medical care, a male appearance. This surgery may ries for patients and the public were which is one of the reasons Middlesex include nipple grafts, or nipple/areola created so no one has to choose which works so diligently to ensure it doesn’t resizing and repositioning. Afterwards, bathroom to use. All employees (more happen within their facility. patients no longer have to wear binders than 3,100) and the 381-member active “If you’ve ever had an outfit that to flatten their chests. This makes them medical staff have undergone trans- didn’t quite fit right, multiply that by a lot more comfortable, both physically gender training for which Middlesex 100 and live that every day,” she says. and psychologically. has been nationally recognized. The “The most rewarding part of my work Some of these patients opt for geni- institution has also been identified as is seeing people get their confidence tal surgery as well. In metoidioplasty, a leader in healthcare equality several and really being comfortable in their existing genital tissue is used to form years in a row by the Human Rights skin.” 40 CT VOICE | PREMIERE SPRING 2019
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