COVID-19 as a Grief Experience - MELISSA SELLEVAAG, LICSW CHRISSY NDJATOU, CPNP-PC
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COVID-19 as a Grief Experience MELISSA SELLEVAAG, LICSW CHRISSY NDJATOU, CPNP-PC
Tending to Self We will be discussing challenging topics that can elicit uncomfortable feelings. Please tend to yourself: ◦Breathe in for a count of four and exhale for a count of six. ◦Take a sip of ice water and trace the water down as you drink it. ◦Look up from the screen and notice three things in your space. ◦Stand up and stretch. © 2021 Wendt Center
Why the Wendt Center?
“No one should have to
grieve alone.”
~ William “Bill” Wendt
Founder of Wendt Center
circa 1977
© 2021 Wendt Center
These are not normal times
YOU ARE NOT JUST
WORKING/PARENTING/CARING/
EXISTING. YOU ARE LIVING DURING
MULTIPLE CRISES TRYING TO WORK.
© 2021 Wendt Center
The Weight of it All © 2021 Wendt Center
This is Grief
Change Loss Grief
No opportunity to say good-bye
No
Threat Trauma
Control
Triggering of past events
© 2021 Wendt Center
Pandemic Fatigue
Decision
Ambiguity Exhaustion
fatigue
Desire to
Lack of
return to what Anxiety
patience
was
© 2021 Wendt Center“Sticky” Feelings in Grief
• Journaling
Guilt • Radical transparency
• Voices of honest encouragement
• Longer exhale
Anxiety • Mantras
• Grounding techniques
• Safe ways to express and release anger
Anger • Exercise or movement
• Advocacy or making tangible change
© 2021 Wendt CenterIncreasing Tolerance
Comfortable Uncomfortable
Feelings Feelings
Certainty Ambiguity
Good Bad
© 2021 Wendt CenterBurnout vs Vicarious Trauma
Burnout Vicarious Trauma
Emotional exhaustion State of tension
Preoccupation with stories/trauma
Reduced professional efficacy
experiences to which you are exposed
Feelings of negativity or cynicism related Lasting impact on our perceptions of the
to your job world
Can impact performance and result in
Energy depletion
errors
https://www.who.int/mental_health/evidence/burn-
out/en/ 28 MAY 2019 WHO; COUNSELING.ORG
© 2021 Wendt CenterTend Befriend Survive © 2021 Wendt Center
Automatic Thoughts
Others have it so much
worse than me.
How do I meet other’s
needs when I can’t meet
I should be able to
my own?
manage my feelings.
I have no other options
Nobody understands but to keep moving
how hard this is for me. forward.
© 2021 Wendt CenterWhere do I begin? © 2021 Wendt Center Neff, 2021
Compassion for Self © 2021 Wendt Center Neff, 2003
But What Do I Say? © 2021 Wendt Center
Release Restore © 2021 Wendt Center
Take Micro-Breaks
Listen to a recorded Take a moment to
Love on your pet or
meditation or breathe in a soothing
give yourself a hug.
breathing exercise. scent.
List three things for Turn up your favorite
Wash your hands
which you are song and sing in a
mindfully.
grateful. loud voice.
Start meetings at five
Eat a mint when you Drink water regularly
minutes after instead
feel anxiety rising. throughout the day.
of the hour
© 2021 Wendt CenterImportance of Transition
Before COVID-19, transitions Now, transitions must be more
were automatic or built-in: intentional:
• Commuting home from work • Safely getting outside
• Leaving work items at the • Putting away your work
office • Visually grounding after a
• Walking to your desk after a meeting
meeting • Giving yourself cues that
• Changing out of work clothes work is over
© 2021 Wendt CenterRekindling Hope, Rebuilding Lives
Let’s continue the healing conversation
@WendtCenter
4201 Connecticut Ave NW 2041 Martin Luther King Ave SE
Suite 300
Washington, DC 20008 www.wendtcenter.org Suite 234
Washington, DC 20020
202-624-0010 202-610-0066
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