COVID-19 as a Grief Experience - MELISSA SELLEVAAG, LICSW CHRISSY NDJATOU, CPNP-PC

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COVID-19 as a Grief Experience - MELISSA SELLEVAAG, LICSW CHRISSY NDJATOU, CPNP-PC
COVID-19 as a
Grief Experience
MELISSA SELLEVAAG, LICSW
CHRISSY NDJATOU, CPNP-PC
COVID-19 as a Grief Experience - MELISSA SELLEVAAG, LICSW CHRISSY NDJATOU, CPNP-PC
Tending to Self
 We will be discussing challenging topics that can elicit
 uncomfortable feelings.
 Please tend to yourself:
  ◦Breathe in for a count of four and exhale for a count of six.
  ◦Take a sip of ice water and trace the water down as you drink it.
  ◦Look up from the screen and notice three things in your space.
  ◦Stand up and stretch.

© 2021 Wendt Center
COVID-19 as a Grief Experience - MELISSA SELLEVAAG, LICSW CHRISSY NDJATOU, CPNP-PC
Why the Wendt Center?

                         “No one should have to
                             grieve alone.”
                           ~ William “Bill” Wendt
                          Founder of Wendt Center
                                  circa 1977

© 2021 Wendt Center
COVID-19 as a Grief Experience - MELISSA SELLEVAAG, LICSW CHRISSY NDJATOU, CPNP-PC
These are not normal times

                             YOU ARE NOT JUST
                       WORKING/PARENTING/CARING/
                      EXISTING. YOU ARE LIVING DURING
                      MULTIPLE CRISES TRYING TO WORK.

© 2021 Wendt Center
COVID-19 as a Grief Experience - MELISSA SELLEVAAG, LICSW CHRISSY NDJATOU, CPNP-PC
The Weight of it All

© 2021 Wendt Center
COVID-19 as a Grief Experience - MELISSA SELLEVAAG, LICSW CHRISSY NDJATOU, CPNP-PC
This is Grief

                      Change               Loss                 Grief

                               No opportunity to say good-bye

                                          No
                      Threat                                 Trauma
                                        Control

                                 Triggering of past events
© 2021 Wendt Center
COVID-19 as a Grief Experience - MELISSA SELLEVAAG, LICSW CHRISSY NDJATOU, CPNP-PC
Pandemic Fatigue

                                   Decision
         Ambiguity    Exhaustion
                                    fatigue

     Desire to
                                    Lack of
  return to what       Anxiety
                                   patience
       was
© 2021 Wendt Center
“Sticky” Feelings in Grief
                      • Journaling
             Guilt    • Radical transparency
                      • Voices of honest encouragement

                      • Longer exhale
        Anxiety       • Mantras
                      • Grounding techniques

                      • Safe ways to express and release anger
           Anger      • Exercise or movement
                      • Advocacy or making tangible change

© 2021 Wendt Center
Increasing Tolerance
                      Comfortable   Uncomfortable
                        Feelings       Feelings

                        Certainty     Ambiguity

                          Good            Bad

© 2021 Wendt Center
Burnout vs Vicarious Trauma

                              Burnout                                                      Vicarious Trauma
                               Emotional exhaustion                                                            State of tension

                                                                                                    Preoccupation with stories/trauma
                           Reduced professional efficacy
                                                                                                   experiences to which you are exposed

                      Feelings of negativity or cynicism related                                   Lasting impact on our perceptions of the
                                     to your job                                                                    world

                                                                                                     Can impact performance and result in
                                  Energy depletion
                                                                                                                    errors

                                                      https://www.who.int/mental_health/evidence/burn-
                                                      out/en/ 28 MAY 2019 WHO; COUNSELING.ORG
© 2021 Wendt Center
Tend       Befriend   Survive

© 2021 Wendt Center
Automatic Thoughts

                                         Others have it so much
                                            worse than me.

                                                             How do I meet other’s
                                                            needs when I can’t meet
                       I should be able to
                                                                   my own?
                      manage my feelings.

                                                            I have no other options
                          Nobody understands                   but to keep moving
                         how hard this is for me.                    forward.

© 2021 Wendt Center
Where do I begin?

© 2021 Wendt Center   Neff, 2021
Compassion for Self

© 2021 Wendt Center    Neff, 2003
But What Do I Say?

© 2021 Wendt Center
Release   Restore

© 2021 Wendt Center
Take Micro-Breaks
       Listen to a recorded                             Take a moment to
                               Love on your pet or
           meditation or                               breathe in a soothing
                               give yourself a hug.
       breathing exercise.                                    scent.

       List three things for   Turn up your favorite
                                                         Wash your hands
          which you are         song and sing in a
                                                           mindfully.
              grateful.             loud voice.

                                                       Start meetings at five
      Eat a mint when you      Drink water regularly
                                                       minutes after instead
       feel anxiety rising.    throughout the day.
                                                            of the hour

© 2021 Wendt Center
Importance of Transition
     Before COVID-19, transitions   Now, transitions must be more
      were automatic or built-in:            intentional:
  • Commuting home from work        • Safely getting outside
  • Leaving work items at the       • Putting away your work
    office                          • Visually grounding after a
  • Walking to your desk after a      meeting
    meeting                         • Giving yourself cues that
  • Changing out of work clothes      work is over

© 2021 Wendt Center
Rekindling Hope, Rebuilding Lives
                                  Let’s continue the healing conversation
                                              @WendtCenter

      4201 Connecticut Ave NW                                               2041 Martin Luther King Ave SE
             Suite 300
       Washington, DC 20008         www.wendtcenter.org                               Suite 234
                                                                                Washington, DC 20020
           202-624-0010                                                            202-610-0066

© 2021 Wendt Center
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