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Appelbaum Training Institute - When this seminar starts in your time zone!

1

When this seminar starts in your time zone!
  Eastern                Central                      Mountain                         Pacific
  9:30am                 8:30am                        7:30am                          6:30am

      Appelbaum Training Institute
                            800-23-CHILD
                          www.atiseminars.org

              Copyright © 2021 by Appelbaum Training Institute * All Rights Reserved
            www.atiseminars.org * Email: info@atiseminars.org * Phone: 800-23-CHILD

Appelbaum Training Institute
1-800-23-CHILD
www.atiseminars.org

Welcome!

We are so glad you are watching us today!!! This seminar has been
designed specifically for you in your work with children. It is packed
with information and strategies to make your work with children easier.

We hope you take advantage of great opportunities we have for you.

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Sincerely yours,
Marty Appelbaum and Maryln Appelbaum

This handout book is owned and copyrighted by the Appelbaum Training Institute. Unless a page in this book says
it may be copied, NO PAGES IN THIS BOOK MAY BE COPIED without permission of the Appelbaum
Institute. This book may NOT be used or reused for any type of training. Thank you for your cooperation.

We hope you enjoy the sayings at the bottom of most pages that we wrote just for you.
They were written to inspire and motivate you in your important work with children.

3

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         Copyright © 2021 by Appelbaum Training Institute * All Rights Reserved
       www.atiseminars.org * Email: info@atiseminars.org * Phone: 800-23-CHILD

The Caring Connection – How to Balance Love and Limits

5 Best Topnotch Strategies for Establishing a Caring Connection
Strategy 1: Be an Intentional Teacher.
Being an intentional teacher means:
 You are intent on making each day special.
 You are intent on making a difference using special strategies.
 You look for ways to make learning come alive.
 You have routine and structure so children can learn and feel safe.
 You set learning goals so they can learn new things.
Answer these Questions Example of Answers
to Set a Goal:
What: THE GOAL Introduce the letter A
Who? Toddlers and preschoolers
When? Morning circle time
Where? On circle time rug
Why? To prepare children for reading
How? See the letter; say the letter, trace the letter

To be an intentional teacher:
 Take advantage of special teachable moments to teach important life lessons.
 Combine both teacher directed and child guided activities.
 Plan ahead. Go into your classroom with a plan for what is going to be learned each day.
 “Listen” to children’s body language as well as their words.
 Be flexible. If a lesson is not going as planned, change to make it a learning experience.
 Ask questions.
 Draw on past experiences and other knowledge. What has worked well in the past?
 Have a well-organized classroom.
 Create a sense of belonging so all children feel safe and welcome.
 Provide routines. This gives structure and meaning to the day.

Strategy 2: Learn the Art of Meaningful Conversations.
A meaningful conversation is a conversation that creates or deepens a caring connection.
True or False: Mark T or F for each statement.
_____ The best time for meaningful conversations is right before nap time.
_____ When having a meaningful conversation, change the subject frequently.
_____ Children should only listen during meaningful conversations.
_____ Ask questions to help children expand on what they are thinking.
_____ Interrupt children when having meaningful conversations.
_____ Guide children to help them make sense of what they are saying.

“Build caring connections.”

5
Have meaningful conversations to:
• Engage children.
• Teach children new concepts.
• Talk about problems and solutions.
• Discuss new ideas children have.
• Develop language and communication skills.

Have meaningful conversations with all ages of children, even infants.
They will listen as though they understand.

Keys to a Meaningful Conversation with Children of all Ages
• Set aside some special times to have conversations with children.
• Engage with children as much as possible throughout the day.
• Minimize distractions and finish the conversation.
• Give the child your undivided attention.
• Be genuine and real with children to make a lasting connection.

Strategy 3: Gain the Trust of Kids and Parents.

Caring
Connection

Trust

Beginning of Relationship

To gain the trust of toddlers and preschoolers:
___ Smile genuinely.
___ Learn children’s likes and dislikes.
___ Get on children’s level to talk.
___ Talk to children, not at them.
___ Follow through.
To gain parents’ trust:
___ Ask for parental input.
___ Let them know you care about their children.
___ Communicate frequently.
___ Let parents know their children are safe in your care.
___ Acknowledge and respect family beliefs.

“The more you connect, the less you correct.”

6
Strategy 4: Act with Authority--Create Both Independence and Limits.
Balance Love with Limits
• Take charge.
• Set limits.
• Say what you mean without being mean.
• Set simple rules and role play acting them out.
• Phrase rules in a positive way (Teacher Vision, 2013).
o Say, “Walk in the classroom” instead of “No running.”
• Follow through. Enforce rules and consequences fairly with all children.
• Acknowledge positive behavior. Catch them being good! (McDaniels, 2013)
Have freedom within limits so children can express themselves independently within the limits. (Ellis, 2010)

Strategy 5: Promote Values in Children: Respect, Honesty, and Responsibility.
Honesty:
• Be a role model of honesty.
• Teach children the difference between things that are true and untrue.
• Have the child do a re-do.
• Play truth or consequences.
• Avoid situations in which children have to lie to protect themselves from punishment.
• Thank children for being honest especially when they tell the truth in tough situations.
Responsibility:
• Give children tasks to do and show them how to do them.
• Make sure the children are developmentally ready to do the tasks.
• Thank children when they complete the task.
• When children make mistakes, give them a chance to fix it.
o Make tasks fun. Example: Everyone pretends to be a train conductor while picking
up toys (Gookin & Gookin, 2013).
Respect:
• Give respect to get respect.
• Model being respectful to others.
• Teach toddlers and preschoolers manners.
• Teach toddlers and preschoolers to be kind. People who are kind to others are respectful.
• Give warm fuzzies instead of cold pricklies.
• Correct disrespectful actions when they occur.
• Acknowledge children when they are respectful (Peach, 2011.)

“These parents are driving me crazy!”
Success Strategies with Difficult Parents

Difficult parents have one thing in common:
They typically care more for their children.

The research shows that parents who advocate for their children,
have children that do better (Mendler).

Turn Difficult Parents into Cooperative Parents
• View difficult parents as having something to teach you.
• Keep the focus on their child. All parents want to talk about their child and want to feel their
child is special.
• Share honey before vinegar.
• Make sure parents know you care about their child.
• Tell them positives about their children.
• Thank them for suggestions.
• Establish limits.
• Refuse to talk about other children when they bring them up.
• Turn it around. Say, “Ms. Smith, your child is lucky to have a parent that cares so much.
I’m glad that we will get to work together and become a strong team for your child.”
• Do not believe everything kids tell you about their parents.
• Always remember that there can be more than one perspective in a difficult situation.
Remember that parents may have difficult situations going on at home with their children.

Strategies for Success with Different Types of Difficult Parents

The Know-It-All
This is a person with a strong need to be right. You can’t shut this person down with direct
confrontation. That will only make the person resentful and argumentative.

• Become a master of the “Yes, and…” technique.
Listen and then say, “Yes…and I have also noticed…”
“Yes, and I have also noticed that Cory likes to push the limits sometimes.”
• Ask for suggestions.
“Do you have any ideas on what I can do when Jamal has a tantrum?”
• Thank them for information and move on.
“Mr. Wright, thank you for sharing that information. I also have information to share with
you. Between the two of us, we will be quite a team working together for your son.”

8
The Defensive Parent
The defensive parent does not want to be at fault for anything that happens. This parent will
make excuses, change the subject, and try and come up with a different reason for what
happened.
The most important thing to remember when working with the defensive parent is to:
• Place no blame.
• Instead focus on building a team starting now.
Parent: “I work so many hours that I had no idea my Pedro was in trouble.”
Teacher: Mrs. Martinez, I know you work long hours and it is often difficult to know
everything happening. Let’s talk now about what we can do to ensure that Pedro
succeeds.”

The Helicopter Parent
Helicopter parents are parents who hover over their children.
The helicopter parent does want to be involved in contrast to parents who do not call or ever
come to the school. This makes it easier for you to become a team (Appelbaum, 2006).
• Have patience.
• Set regularly scheduled contact times so they know when they can speak to you so they
don’t interrupt you.

The Negative Cynical Parent
This parent is suspicious about your motives and may say things like, “That will never work.”
Is generally bitter about past situations and negative about everything.
• Showcase the positives.
• Stay positive in your own attitude.

The Backstabber
This person is often referred to as “two-faced.” The person is out to get you but does it in a
sneaky way.
• Check out all stories before acting on them. Find out what is true and what is not.
• Build positive relationships with other parents.
• Don’t gossip.
• Keep records.
• Bring the information forward.

The Parent Whose Child “Does No Wrong.”
This parent is usually in denial. You need strategies for success with this parent. Here are
common comments made by the parent and responses to use.
• “He never does that at home.”
“I am glad to hear that. If he did do it at home, what would you do?
• “My child didn’t do it.
“I understand. It’s hard to imagine your son doing that. If he ever does do it, how would you
like us to handle it as a team?”
• “My child never lies.”
“I understand. In my experience, I have found that children don’t lie as much as they
sometimes stretch the truth to be what they wish would have happened.”

“Stay calm and carry on.”

9
The Parent Who Thinks You Aren’t Fair
These parents often use the words, “You’re not fair,” just to get what they want.
Nothing you ever do for them is ever enough.
Important things to remember when working with this parent:
• Make sure you are fair.
• Fair is not equal.
The Parent Who is Extremely Angry
When parents aren’t thinking clearly, you have to think clearly.
Anger is a secondary emotion.
Give parents time to cool down.
Act, instead of react.
   • Set a different time to meet.
   • Use the “detach with empathy” approach.
   • Move to a private area.
   • Stay safe.
The Overly Indulgent Parent
These are parents that give their children whatever they want whenever they want it. The result
is that their children typically think they can have whatever they want in class too. They will
whine and cry and have tantrums to get what they want.
• Handle these parents gently. They sometimes feel guilty that they aren’t doing a good job
     with their children.
• Start small. Instead of giving them a list of things they need to change at home, offer one or
     two suggestions of something to do.
• Provide support to the parent as the parent transitions to setting limits.
• Offer books to read about balancing love and limits.
                     Turn Difficult Parents into Cooperative Parents
Use the strategies for success already mentioned. Keep in mind these very special phrases.

                                          “I understand.”
                                            “I’m sorry.”
                                    “Ok, I will think about it.”
                                  “Your child is important to me.”

                      Copyright © 2021 by Appelbaum Training Institute * All Rights Reserved
                    www.atiseminars.org * Email: info@atiseminars.org * Phone: 800-23-CHILD

Great Classroom Management Strategies
for Common Daily Dilemmas

Young children are just starting to understand their own emotions (EMD Ohio).
That makes it harder for them to understand why they need to do what adults tell them to do.
Use an asset-based approach that uses children’s strengths as the building blocks for children
learning new behaviors rather than one focused on teaching missing skills or correcting deficits
(Dunst et al, 2017). The asset-based approach makes it more likely for children to gain in social
competence. These are all developed over time and according to children’s abilities.
Develop and teach expectations for the different times of day. (Steed & Pomerlerleau, 2012).
The expectations should be linked to the values and cultures of the children, teachers, and
families. They need to be positively stated and developmentally appropriate.
There are several ways to teach expectations so that children understand them (Price & Steed,
2016).
• Use songs and hand movements to go with expectations.
• Model the expectations.
• Use puppets.
• Role play.
• Have pictures of children engaging in the expectations.

Solutions for Drop-Off Time
Greet each child warmly making them feel welcome.
Have a golden ticket. Children arrive and get a golden ticket as a treat. The ticket means, “I’m
glad you’re here today.” They can carry it around or put it in their cubby. It’s a good transition
item from home to class because it helps all children feel valued.
Assign a morning buddy. It’s a child that they sit near and interact with. Everyone needs a
special friend.
Strategies for Circle Time Success
Circle time is a great time to build community and make each child feel welcome.
Keep it short. Start short and gradually increase the amount of time.
Alternate between seated and movement activities for children.
Have your circle activities away from toy shelves or other distractions.
Use Carpet Markers: They mark the spot where children sit. Use carpet squares or laminated
piece of paper as a special spot for each toddler or preschooler to sit.
Have your circle time away from toy shelves or other distractions.
Teach children hugging fingers.
Have a talking ball.
Use your circle time zip, zap magic wand.
• Use a wand to wave over the toddlers and preschoolers before a story to get everyone quiet.
• Use the wand to turn everyone into bunnies, butterflies, or bees. Have fun with it!
Sing, “Where are my hands?” (To the tune of “Where is Thumbkin?)
Where are my hands? Where are my hands? Here they are. Here they are.
Folded in my lap. Folded in my lap. Yes, they are. Yes, they are.

“Stay calm.”
Copyright © 2021 by Appelbaum Training Institute * All Rights Reserved
www.atiseminars.org * Email: info@atiseminars.org * Phone: 800-23-CHILD

Put an End to Hurtful Behaviors & Roughhousing
Young children often don’t know that they are hurting someone else. They need to be taught
how to have appropriate physical contact like hugging, high-fives, arm around shoulders, and
partner games, versus inappropriate physical contact like hitting, biting, pinching, and pulling.
* Teach them about gentle touch.
Separate children who can’t keep their hands off of each other.
* Give the child who likes to roughhouse something to hold like a stress ball or stuffed animal.
Teach preschoolers to say, “stop,” and hold up both hands high.
Make someone smile. During circle time, have children practice giving saying kind things to others.
Calming Tantrums
Stay calm.
When you speak, use a low voice (Appelbaum).
The time to stop a tantrum is before it starts.
Teach them deep breathing strategies.
• Check in with children when they arrive, and later in day, and check them out as they leave.
It makes them feel important and can prevent tantrums before they happen.
• Have a Calming Station that is not about reflection but about de-escalation
• Distract and redirect (Appelbaum).
• Start Singing.
• Wipe your angries away (Appelbaum).

How to Settle the Sillies & Calm Children,
• Stop the train. When children are upset, they pretend to be like a train and say, “choo choo”
over and over again saying it lower and lower until completely calm.
• Put the child’s feelings into words.
• Use a calming activity children can do by themselves.
• Hug yourself.
• Give plenty of opportunities for toddlers and preschoolers to be silly. Kids need to be kids.

Make circle time fun! Here’s an example. Make Silly Cake.
Have a bowl and a wooden spoon in the center of the circle. Have children chant:
“We are going to play the silly cake game today.
We’ll put silly things in this bowl to cook, stir them up, and have a look.”
Children take turns thinking of silly things they can add to the cake. You can even have them find
something that begins with a letter of the alphabet or a color.
Have the children make a rain storm.
They start with the wind. (Rub your hands together. As the wind grows stronger, run hands faster.)
Make a rain drop. (Tap a finger in the palm of the hand.)
Make more rain drops. (Tap 4 fingers in the palm of the hand.)
Make lots of rain. (Clap hands together.)
Make thunder. (Clap on your thighs.)
Then slowly have the thunder go away, and the rain gets lighter and lighter until it stops altogether.

“Every day is another opportunity to make a difference. Never give up!”

Awesome Art Activities, Fun & Creativity Kids Love

The Power of Art in Child Development
Art may seem like only fun and games, but it teaches children the following life skills:
• Social Skills: Children learn to share and take turns.
• Fine motor skills: Children develop their pincer fingers to prepare them for writing (Kohl, 2012).
• Creativity: Children leap into the unknown through art.
• Problem-solving skills. Children figure out different solutions using art.
• Self-Expression: Children express their feelings through art. (Kohl).
• Cognitive skills
• Language skills
• Math skills (The Art of Creating).
Reasons Art Can Be a Powerful Learning Tool for Young Children
• Art activities can stimulate both sides of the brain.
• Art promotes self-esteem.
• Art develops hand-eye coordination.
• Art teaches children to question and think critically.
• Art is about the process, not the product (The Art of Creating).
Fun Art Activities Using Everyday Objects

Check off the items you may never have thought of to use for art:
__Cotton balls __Paper lunch bags __Scrap paper
__Paper plates __Leaves __Junk mail
__Old lids __ Coffee filters __Fabric scraps
Use Duct Tape
Duct Tape Décor for preschoolers. Children use duct tape to decorate a jar, pencil holder, or
paper cup.
Tape Designs for toddlers and preschoolers. Tape masking tape onto a surface with spaces
between. Use the design as is or have children paint the surface. Remove tape when dry.
Picture Frame for toddlers and preschoolers. Preschoolers paste a photo on construction paper
and frame it with duct tape or decorate a picture frame with colored duct tape.
Other Things to Use

Use a Ping Pong Ball

Shake it Up Painting for preschoolers. Fill four paper cups with differently colored paint. Drop
a ping pong ball in each cup. Children roll the balls into the paint using a spoon. Place a rolled-
up sheet of white paper inside a bag for each child. Drop the ping pong balls into the bag. Seal
the bag and children shake it a few times. Remove the paper for a pretty design.

“Art teaches a child self-expression.”
Copyright © 2021 by Appelbaum Training Institute * All Rights Reserved
www.atiseminars.org * Email: info@atiseminars.org * Phone: 800-23-CHILD

13
Use A Brown Paper Bag

Brown Bag Face for toddlers and preschoolers. Cut out facial features from a magazine and
children glue them to the bag to make a funny face. Use ribbon or yarn to make hair. Option 2:
You may also use construction paper and crayons to make the face. (ex. Premier Learning Center
Tree Art: Use fingertips and different colored paint to make leaves on a tree.

Great Easy to Do Art Fun
Use Handprints
Handprint: Spread paint or plaster evenly over hand for full coverage. Press hand onto paper,
canvas or board. Gently press down to make sure you leave an actual handprint.
Handprint Fish: Paint hand and gently press hand down on paper or canvas. Give their hand a
firm press and then gently pull up to prevent smearing the paint.
Handprint Flower: To make a perfect handprint, press the painted hand down on canvas or
thick paper and hold it still for 2 seconds before lifting it gently. Color or cut green stem.
Handprint Sun: Paint hands yellow and press around white paper in a circular motion until sun
is formed.
Handprint Butterfly: Make the body out of playdough. Children dip their both hands in paint,
and stamp their hands on either side of the body to be the wings.
Use Colored Marker Dots
Colored Paper Towel: Take one piece of paper towel. Use a variety of dots and press over
entire paper towel.
Dot Butterfly: Use pre-cut butterfly. Use a variety of different colored marker dots to create a
uniquely designed butterfly.

Dot Name Tracing: Trace child’s name on a sheet of construction paper. Allow the child to
trace the letters with dots.
Dot Patterns: All child to use doors to form patters. (ex. ABAB – red, blue, red, blue)
Dot Heart: Using a precut heart or draw a heart on construction paper. Allow child to use dot
markers to fill the inside of the art with their favorite colors.
Use Paper Plates
Sun Visor: Cut out half of a paper plate. Have children color the bottom rim of the half that is
cut out and the outline all around the sides. Then they paint or color different colors stripes on
the “visor.” Punch a hole in each side of the it. Add yarn or other type string so that they can
wear it on their heads.
Farm Animals: Example - Cow - Either paint or draw black splotches over the plate, legs and
head. Stick the face onto the front of your cow's paper plate body. Cut a nose from pink
construction paper and glue to the face.

“Art opens up doors to creativity and self-expression.”

14

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          Copyright © 2021 by Appelbaum Training Institute * All Rights Reserved
        www.atiseminars.org * Email: info@atiseminars.org * Phone: 800-23-CHILD

15
Beach Ball: Using a paper plate draw black lines to divide the different areas. Have child color
inside lines with different colors.
Butterfly Paper Plate: fold plate in half and cut zig-zags or curves. Open and cut down center.
Make the body from construction paper. Have kids decorate with beads and pompoms.
Spiral Ornament for toddlers and preschoolers. Children paint a paper plate. Let the colors
swirl together. When the paint is dry, cut it into a spiral, starting at the outer edge. Hang from a
paperclip or thread.

Fish Paper Plate: Have children each paint a paper plate a solid color. Let it dry. Cut out a
small triangular “slice” like a small piece of pizza. Children paste it on the paper plate so it it
becomes the fin. Children paste on an eye made out of white paper or googly eye.

Fish Aquarium for toddlers and preschoolers. Cut out fish from colored paper. Children glue
them to a paper plate. They make seaweed out of sequins or scrunched-up paper. They draw
bubbles coming out of mouths of fish. Cut out the center of another paper plate and glue or tape
clear plastic wrap over the hole (on the eating side). Staple the plates together.

Do the Paper Plate Dance: Give children two paper plates. Play music and let them dance.

Use Construction Paper
Star Fun: Make a huge star on a large sheet of construction paper. Each child decorates their
star.
Cherry Blossom Tree: Have a sheet of construction paper. Children paint a tree trunk and lots
of branches. Let it dry. They add little dabs of pink that are the cherry blossoms.

Flower: using various shapes and colors create a flower out of construction paper. Use brown
construction paper for leaves and green for the stems.

Lady Bug: Cut out one circle from red construction paper. Cut the circle down the middle.
Cut out four 2-inch circles from your black construction paper. Glue these pieces onto black
circle made from construction paper. When gluing the red be sure to make an upside down “v”
in the middle.
Paper Hats for preschoolers. Fold a sheet of paper in half. Fold it in half again. Open with
paper fold on top. Fold each corner to the crease. Turn up bottom of paper on each side.
Use Cotton Balls
Cotton Ball Tree for Toddlers and Preschoolers. Draw a branch on a piece of paper and have
children paste colored cotton ball blossoms on the tree.
Pulled Cotton for Toddlers and Preschoolers. Pull cotton balls apart into thin, wispy pieces.
Children glue the pieces onto a picture.
Cotton Ball Bear Face: Make a big circle to be the bear’s face. Add two little ears on top.
Children paste cotton balls on the face. Then they take yarn, googly eyes, and scraps of colored
construction paper to decorate it.

“A child’s art is their poetry.”
References
Copyright © 2021 by Appelbaum Training Institute * All Rights Reserved
www.atiseminars.org * Email: info@atiseminars.org * Phone: 800-23-CHILD

16
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Peach, D. Teaching Children Respect: 7 Helpful Tips. Retrieved on 1/10/21 from http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/teaching-children-
respect-7-helpful-tips/#ixzz2jDxf5Jvh
Price, C.L. & Steed, E.A. (November, 2016). Culturally responsive strategies to support young children with challenging behavior. Young
Children, Vol. 71-5.
Rose, H.A. Asset-Based Development for Child & Youth Care. Reclaiming Children and youth 14:4 winter 2006, pp. 236-240
The Art of Creating. Retrieved from the worldwide web 1/10/21.
https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/the_art_of_creating_why_art_is_important_for_early_childhood_development

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