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National Bereavement Resource Guide An extensive guide to aid those in need Wherever you are. We are there for you. National Bereavement Resource Guide Eluna Sponsored by New York Life and Eluna (elunanetwork.org) is a public, 501(c)(3) non-profit with a mission to support children Wherever children and their families are and families impacted by grief or addiction. grieving, and wherever they are in the Founded in 2000 in Seattle by former MLB grieving process, we are here to help. pitcher Jamie Moyer and child advocate Karen Phelps Moyer, Eluna was originally New York Life is proud to partner with Eluna called The Moyer Foundation and launched to provide the enclosed compilation of state a series of programs supporting thousands and local resources—camps and grief of children and families annually at no cost organizations organized by state, plus to them. Camp Erin® is the largest national books and websites for children and their network of grief programs for bereaved families experiencing loss. children and teens, Camp Mariposa® is a national addiction prevention and mentoring The New York Life Foundation program for youth impacted by a family (www.newyorklifefoundation.org) has long member's substance use disorder, and the been focused on serving children in need. In Eluna Resource Center offers online tools, 2008, the Foundation expanded that focus local referrals and personalized phone and to include an initiative to help children deal email support for families experiencing grief, with the loss of a parent, caregiver or sibling addiction and other related issues. and to help parents deal with the emotional turmoil that results from the death of a close family member. We believe this comprehensive guide will provide the necessary resources and directory of services to help support grieving families in communities across the country. In addition, we’ve developed a bereavement website that can help—www.AChildinGrief.com.
National Bereavement Resource Guide Books Teen Books Anne and the Sand Dobbies John Coburn A Decembered Grief: Living with Loss This is a story of a young boy and how he While Others Are Celebrating and his family came to terms with the death Harold Ivan Smith of their young sister. Suffering the loss of a loved one at any time of the year is difficult; yet during the As Much Time As It Takes: A Guide for holidays or special occasions, those the Bereaved, Their Family, and Friends grieving experience a more intense sense of Martin J. Keogh loss. The world is moving forward and Written from the viewpoint of a grieving celebrating life and all its blessings; yet for person, As Much Time As It Takes helps us grievers, darkness pervades the holiday. sensitively navigate those awkward, yet important, moments of comforting those A Grief Like No Other: Surviving the mourning the loss of a loved one. This Violent Death of Someone You Love unique book comforts the bereaved by Kathleen O’Hara articulating the overwhelming wave of In response to the brutal murder of her son, emotions and supports the “support team” therapist O’Hara developed this seven- by helping them to avoid the clichés and stage process to help others in making the find the right words at the right time. journey to healing. Be Not Afraid: Overcoming the Fear of Death After You Lose Someone You Love Johann Arnold Amy, Allie, and David Dennison Arnold shows how suffering can be given This journal was written by three ordinary meaning in Be Not Afraid. He offers the children whose lives were forever changed assurance that even today, in our culture of when one night their father died isolation and death, there is such a thing as unexpectedly and suddenly. Of course, the hope. world of this family fell apart. From these journal entries and drawings, one learns Bereaved Children and Teens they rewove their lives until they came to Earl A. Grollman realize they were moving forward on a Bringing together 14 experts from across journey called grief. the United States and Canada, Bereaved Children All Three Stooges and Teens is a comprehensive guide to Erica S. Perl helping children and adolescents cope with This book is about Dash and Noah - two the emotional, religious, social, and physical goofy, comedy-obsessed seventh grade consequences of a loved one’s death. boys – and the ripple effect of Dash’s dad’s suicide on their friendship. The author takes Beyond the Ridge us along with Noah on his journey, tackling Paul Goble sensitive issues surrounding the death of a Paul Goble’s Beyond the Ridge is a loved one—both from the perspective of beautiful, comforting, simple book for supporting someone who is grieving, and as children of all ages who have experienced someone who is grieving. the loss of a loved one. This story encourages children to regard death as a process of adventure into greater territory than our bodies can permit. © Eluna 2019 www.achildingrief.com elunanetwork.org
National Bereavement Resource Guide Books Beyond Words Dancing on the Edge Gayle A. Huntress Kit Bakke This story is a personal account of a girl After her mother’s sudden death, twelve who loses both parents to cancer. It year-old Dot finds herself in shock as her chronicles the family’s heartbreaking loss, world has changed. She accompanies her the redemptive power of lofe and the aunt to a trip to England where she learns community that helped them on their grief about her past, learns more about her journey. mother, and processes her grief. Children and Grief: An Overview of Deconstruction/Reconstruction Children’s Grief The Dougy Center VITAS Whether a teen has experienced the death The booklet discusses the different of a parent, sibling, grandparent, close concepts of death and common grief friend, or other family member, this reactions of children at various ages as well Deconstruction/Reconstruction journal is an as more complicated reactions that may advice-free place where teens can draw, warrant seeking professional help. write, paint, and transform whatever they're thinking and feeling. Children Die, Too Joy & Mary Johnson Dusty Was My Friend This comforting booklet offers insights and Andrea Clardy information to help parents deal with This is a great recourse for children who sadness, guilt, the needs of their children, have lost a friend. Andrea tells the story of and other feelings when a child dies. eight-year-old Benjamin remembering his friend Dusty and tries to understand his own Chill and Spill: A Place to Put It Down feelings about losing a friend in this way. and Work It Out Jeanean Jacobs & Steffanie Lorig Empty Room: Surviving the Loss of a You'll discover a cool combination of writing Brother or Sister at Any Age and drawing exercises that will help you Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn explore what’s going on inside of your head In telling her own story, as well as the and your heart. stories of those she interviewed for the book, DeVita-Raeburn draws us into the Coping with the Death of a Brother or experience of both children and adults who Sister have lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss Ruth Ruiz continues to go unrecognized as the The Death of a Brother or Sister does not potentially life-changing event that it is. This candy coat the challenges of this great loss, book acknowledges that pain and will help but it does make clear inroads into survivors begin to heal. normalizing the grief experience as it may be felt by siblings and parents. Everett Anderson’s Goodbye Lucille Clifton A young African American boy struggles to understand and accept his father’s death. With the help of his mother, he remembers that love never dies, and his father will live in his memory. © Eluna 2019 www.achildingrief.com elunanetwork.org
National Bereavement Resource Guide Books Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Gracefully Gone Jonathan Foer Alicia Coppola When his father dies in the World Trade Written in journal format, Gracefully Gone is Center collapse, Oskar shifts his boundless a story about a father and daughter’s energy to a quest for answers. journey through the diagnosis and battle of cancer. Alicia and her father both share Facing Change: Falling Apart and their perspective on this difficult journey, Coming Together Again in the Teen memories, and their love. Years Donna O’Toole Great Answers to Difficult Questions Founded on the belief that young adults can Linda Goldman make effective choices that can transform This book explores children’s thoughts and pain into resilience, the author provides an feelings on the subject of death and abundance of information and coping provides parents and other caring adults choices to assist the process. Facing with guidance on how to respond to difficult Change is a book about loss, change, and questions. possibilities. Grief’s Courageous Journey: A Fatherloss: How Sons of All Ages Come Workbook to Terms with the Death of Their Dads Sandi Caplan & Gordon Lang Neil Chethik This well-conceived journal/workbook is a Shows how losing a father brings challenge guide for those grieving the loss of a loved and loss but can also be a foundation of one. It provides a compassionate program heartiness, liberty, and hope. of steps to take for coping with day-to-day life and accepting change. Fernside: Supporting Children and Families Through Grief, Giving Grief Grieving: A Beginner’s Guide Form Jerusha Hull McCormack Christi Kettman McCormack—widowed while her children A collection of art by grieving children and were still young—writes a clear-eyed teens at Fernside. account of the many emotions and situations a grieving person may encounter. Fire in My Heart, Ice in My Veins Enid Samuel-Traisman Healing and Growing Through Grief This journal is to help teens process their Donna O’Toole emotions and their grief journey. The pages Helps us understand grief as a natural include different journaling prompts about healing process and how to find help and various emotions and types of support. support. Forever Remembered Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens Marcia Woodard & Dan Zadra Alan Wolfelt The beautiful and inspiring message in this These ideas and activities are aimed at book reminds us that, regardless of fame or reducing the confusion, anxiety, and huge fortune, grief inevitably touches each of our personal void lives. so that the living can begin their lives again. © Eluna 2019 www.achildingrief.com elunanetwork.org
National Bereavement Resource Guide Books Heaven’s Child Honoring the Memory: When Death Caroline Flohr Happens Told through the eyes and heart of Sarah’s Jim Boulden mother, Heaven’s Child is a memoir about Thought-provoking questions, sensitive the death of sixteen-year-old twin daughter advice, and comforting quotes invite the Sarah and how her immediate family reader to write responses in the spaces members face grief, longing, and rebuilding. provided. As an intimate self-examination, this true story tackles deep questions around life, How Do We Tell Children? death, and social issues. Dan Schaefer & Christine Lyons This classic guide has been updated to help Help for the Hard Times parents and children deal with traumatic Earl Hipp events. It includes age specific information This helpful book offers entertainment, for a variety of circumstances, a crisis lightheartedness, and information all rolled checklist, and resource pages. into one great read. Cartoons, quotes, and line drawings take youth on a hopeful and How It Feels When a Parent Dies entertaining journey through the many Jill Kremetz losses and challenges of teen life. Children speak openly of their experiences and feelings concerning death and grief. Holiday Hope: Remembering Loved Ones During Special Times of the Year How to Go on Living When Someone Fairview Press You Loves Dies More than a dozen experts—therapists, Therese Rando clergy, There is no right or wrong way to grieve; and counselors—have written short essays each person’s response to loss will be filled with practical tips and proven different. In this compassionate, techniques for handling grief. comprehensive guide, you are led gently through the painful but necessary process How It Feels When a Parent Dies of grieving. This guide also helps you find J. Krementz the best way for yourself. Eighteen children from age 7–17, speak openly of their experiences and feelings. As How Will I Get Through the Holidays? they speak, we see them in photos with James Miller their surviving parent and with other family Miller presents twelve reassuring thoughts members, in the midst of their everyday to help people of all ages through holidays lives. after the loss of a loved one. Consoling quotations and suggestions serve as a Homemade Books to Help Kids Cope guide and companion Robert Ziegler for any significant occasion. This immensely helpful book gives techniques and instructions to help children make their very own storybooks, and offers an effective and creative way to help kids deal with loss. © Eluna 2019 www.achildingrief.com elunanetwork.org
National Bereavement Resource Guide Books If Only It Is OK to Feel Sad! Carole Geithner Margaret Collins If Only follows the story of 13 year-old Engaging games and stories help very Corinna and her grief journey after her mom young children understand grief and the dies from cancer. Corinna navigates other emotions they may face when through the first day of school, Mother’s someone dies. This book includes an age- day, 8th grade, friends, and boys. This appropriate memory page, which can be moving and sometimes humorous story filled in with a picture and special thoughts helps open difficult conversations in families and features many helpful suggestions for about grief. adults on how to talk about death with small children. I Remember, I Remember Enid Samuel Traisman Life After Loss: Conquering Grief and This book provides a place for your Finding Hope thoughts after a loved one dies. With pages Raymond A. Moody to reflect memories and shared events, you This resource allows the reader to use the create a keepsake to be shared with others. process of grief, loss, or bereavement in a Comforting quotes and suggestions are positive manner and offers pointers on how given throughout. to offer or receive sympathy. Written from personal insight and experience, the author I Will Never Forget You: A Teen Journal incorporates stories of others dealing with of Love and Remembrance grief or loss. Emilio Parga A journal designed to help teens articulate Living with Grief: Children, their feelings in the grieving process. Adolescents and Loss K. Doka I Will Remember You: A Guidebook Images of sobbing teens being led away Through Grief for Teens from shootings are burned in our memories. Laura Dower The 19 chapters in this book address the Just as death is a part of life, grieving is a impact of loss on our children, and the part of living. For teens, this can be a nation’s consciousness. Articles by the particularly painful lesson to learn. This nation’s leading thanatologists and grief book is an inspirational and accessible counselors on grief and bereavement in guide to coping with loss. It includes children and adolescents are interspersed personal stories of death and life from real with articles by children who have teens, advice from a renowned grief experienced tragic loss. counselor, and dozens of hands-on creative exercises to help teens move through their Looking for Alaska pain and sorrow into tomorrow. John Green Miles, Chip, and Alaska form a inseparable friendship at boarding school. In addition to their adventures, the three of them navigate death, guilt, and grief together. © Eluna 2019 www.achildingrief.com elunanetwork.org
National Bereavement Resource Guide Books Losing Someone You Love: When a My Father’s Heart: A Son’s Reckoning Brother or Sister Dies with the Legacy of Heart Disease E. Richter Steve McKee Sixteen young people between the ages of My Father’s Heart is an extraordinary story 10 and 24 recall siblings they loved and of an all-too-ordinary scenario: A father express their loss. They describe their own dies, a son remains, and the loss casts a feelings and reactions and the outside long shadow across pressures that accompany the death of their a generation. sibling, sharing their experiences so that others who experience the same loss will My Life Changed: A Journal for Coping not feel alone. with Loss and Grief Amy, Allie & David Dennison Love and Remembrance When their father died suddenly, the three Margot Kenefick Burkle young people created this journal so that With this very special memory book, others could safely draw out and write down parents, siblings, grandparents, and others hard-to-talk-about feelings. They include can record and keep sacred the special questions to help get started. By preteens memories of a child who is loved and is not for their peers. forgotten. My Lifetime Book Memorial Rituals Book for Healing and Larry Good Hope This carefully planned journal will help you Ann Putter write the life story of yourself or a loved one. Putter gives us a bounty of creative ideas Its loose-leaf binder format allows for adding from her many years of experience in using pages and customizing as desired for a ceremony and ritual as a vital part of grief permanent legacy or memory book. group experiences. No Child Should Grieve Alone: A Guide Mick Harte Was Here for Parents, Caregivers, and Barbara Park Professionals This heart-wrenching novel weaves together Emilio Parga, M.A. diverting anecdotes about the author’s This book offers a wealth of valuable endearingly eccentric brother with her resources for children and adolescents who reactions, and those of her parents, to his have experienced a loss, as well as for their death in a bicycle accident at the age of 12. parents, teachers, counselors, and other caregivers. Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss H. Edelman Edelman shares her own painful story and the stories of many other women who, as children or adults, lost their mothers. She explains the stages of grief and adjustment. She considers the secondary effects that can occur: the girl-child filling the lost mother's role at home for father and younger siblings. If you’ve lost your mother, you no longer have to face it alone. © Eluna 2019 www.achildingrief.com elunanetwork.org
National Bereavement Resource Guide Books Nobody’s Child Anymore: Grieving, Part of Me Died Too: Stories of Creative Caring and Comforting When Parents Survival Among Bereaved Children and Die Teenagers Barbara Bartocci Virginia Lynn Fry & Katherine Paterson Nobody’s Child Anymore is an immensely These young people used writing, drawing, helpful and comforting resource for anyone games of safe aggression, farewell projects, caring for a dying parent, mourning the loss, rituals, and other creative activities to bring caring for the remaining parent, and seeking their feelings into the open, to explore them, new meaning beyond grief. The author and to heal and feel whole. shares her own experience and the thoughts and experiences of others as a Pieces of Georgia source to ease your soul pain. Jen Bryant Georgia shares all aspects of her life and On Children and Death thoughts, and readers come to understand Elisabeth Kubler-Ross the depth of her loss. Their story is a This compassionate book offers the families universal one of love, friendship, and loss. of dead and dying children the help and hope they need to survive. Rachel and the Upside Down Heart E. Douglas On Grief and Grieving: Finding the A true story of how Rachel rediscovers Meaning of Grief Through the Five happiness while keeping the memory of her Stages of Loss father alive in her heart. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross & David Kessler On Grief and Grieving applies the stages of Real Men Do Cry loss to the process of grieving and weaves Eric Hipple together theory, inspiration, and practical Real Men Do Cry, by former NFL advice. It includes sections on sadness, quarterback Eric Hipple, is an incredible hauntings, dreams, coping, children, story of tragedy and triumph. healing, isolation, and even the subject of sex during grief. Recovering from the Loss of a Parent K. Donnelly Orphaned Adult: Understanding and However you choose to cope—through Coping with Grief and Change After the private, inner searching, or sharing your Death of Our Parents feelings with others—this book is a Alexander Levy companion through the process of Incorporating his own personal experience understanding and accepting your loss. with the accounts of others who have lost their parents, psychologist Levy examines this profound life-changing event with compassion and understanding. © Eluna 2019 www.achildingrief.com elunanetwork.org
National Bereavement Resource Guide Books Recovering from the Loss of a Sibling Sibling Grief: Healing After the Death of K. Donnelly a Brother or Sister A book of hope and healing, Recovering P. Gill White from the Loss of a Sibling is the first book White combines extensive clinical for those who have experienced the death experience with wisdom from hundreds of of a brother or sister. When a brother or bereaved siblings at every age to create this sister dies, surviving siblings may receive moving, very readable guide. little support or even recognition of their pain. Parents are so grief-stricken at the Sorry You’re Lost loss of a child that they often find Matt Blackstone themselves unable to cope with the needs When seventh grader Denny “Donuts” of their surviving children. With family and Murphy’s mother dies, he becomes the friends concentrating on the parent’s world’s biggest class clown. But deep tragedy, the suffering of siblings often goes down, Denny just wants to return to a time unnoticed. when his mom is still alive and where his dad doesn’t sit in front of a TV all day. This Remembering with Love chapter book is told from the perspective of Elisabeth Levang & Sherokee Ilse Denny as he navigates his grief, the death Here is a poignant, insightful, and of his mom, and middle school. inspirational collection of more than 300 short pieces that are messages of hope to Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers bereaved persons. They remind us that Earl A. Grollman hope is possible while traveling Grollman offers advice and answers the the journey through grief. kinds of questions that teens are likely to ask themselves when grieving the death of Renewing Your Spirit: A Guide for someone close. Holidays and Special Days Sherry Williams Surviving the Death of a Sibling: The author provides sound advice to help Living Through Grief When an Adult make sense of confusing holiday feelings Brother or Sister Dies after a loved one dies. Special emphasis is T. J. Wray given to rituals and ceremonies. Guided Wray is a captivating storyteller who weaves journaling exercises help clarify stories of herself and many other sibling expectations and wishes, and give grievers to bring clarity and understanding reminders for self-care. to the complex process of sibling grief. This book is insightful, consoling, and filled with Rubber Houses helpful, proactive steps designed to help Ellen Yeomans surviving siblings cope with their (Fiction) Kit must find a way to own her grief devastating loss. to mourn Buddy while at the same time joyfully celebrate the characteristics and quirks that constituted his presence in her life. © Eluna 2019 www.achildingrief.com elunanetwork.org
National Bereavement Resource Guide Books Tear Soup – A Recipe for Healing After The Fault in Our Stars Loss John Green Pat Schweibert The Fault in Our Stars follows a young Tear Soup recognizes that every member of teenage girl who has been diagnosed with the family from the youngest to the oldest lung cancer and attends a cancer support will grieve in their own way. By emphasizing group. After she befriends another young the individual process of bereavement by teenage boy at the support group, together making soup, Tear Soup brings a warm and the two of them explore life and death. comfortable feeling to an otherwise difficult subject matter for many individuals. The Grieving Teen H. Fitzgerald Teenagers Face to Face with The Grieving Teen is written specifically Bereavement for teenagers. Fitzgerald, an expert in grief C. Haskins & K. Gravelle counseling and the author of The Mourning Gravelle and Haskins asked 17 teens, all of Handbook, communicates the issues clearly whom have lost a relative or a close friend, without oversimplifying or resorting to to tell their stories. These responses are “teenspeak.” Chapters consist of typical discussed at length from the points of view questions that young adults may have about of teens and counselors, as are difficult grief, followed by a What You Can Do situations which may follow a death: section. overprotective parents who fear another loss; observance of significant The Healing Book: Facing the Death— anniversaries; whether and how to tell new and Celebrating the Life of Someone You friends about what happened; fear of risking Love new relationships; reluctance to leave home Ellen Sabin to attend college. The young people speak Interactive book designed for children and honestly and earnestly, offering coping families dealing with loss. strategies that worked for them. Both interviewees and compilers offer hope and The Heart of Grief comfort. Thomas Attig This book gives heartfelt descriptions, Teens Write Through It: Essays from through many real-life stories, of how Teens Who Have Triumphed Over people have faced loss without losing Trouble connection. Attig shows how grief can be a Faiview Press Staff transition from loving in the presence to This collection contains essays about young loving in the absence. people’s real experiences and the challenges they have faced. One 16-year- The Kid’s Book About Death and Dying old writes on how her parents’ divorce Eric Rofes affected her; another writes on the strength This book about death and dying covers a her family had to have when her father died wide range of subtopics, including learning in a car accident. to talk about death, death of a pet, death of children, and “is there life after death?” © Eluna 2019 www.achildingrief.com elunanetwork.org
National Bereavement Resource Guide Books The Power to Prevent Suicide: A Guide Weird Is Normal When Teenagers Grieve for Helping Teens Jenny Lee Wheeler J. Galas & R. Nelson Like you, Jenny Wheeler has experienced An excellent, practical manual that is easy and is still experiencing the challenges of to read and understand. The authors’ how to grieve in an adult world filled with premise is that, as trusted and caring unrealistic expectations. In this book, Jenny friends, teens have a special role in the walks the reader through the different prevention of suicide among their peers and aspects of grief. discuss what to do if they observe the danger signals. What Will Help Me? How Can I Help? James Miller This Star Won’t Go Out Offers 12 things to remember when you Esther Earl, with Lori and Wayne Earl have suffered a loss. Also, has 12 things to This Star Won’t Go Out is a memoir about do when someone you know suffers a loss. Esther and her journey with cancer and dealing with death. Esther was diagnosed When Death Walks In with thyroid cancer at age twelve. This Mark Scrivani book is filled with Esther’s journal, sketches, A guide for teenagers facing grief that pictures, fiction, and letters, as well as the discuss the grief journey and different photographs and letters from Esther’s family emotions one might experience with grief. and friends who help to tell her story. When Parents Die: Learning to Live with Thoughts for the Holidays: the Loss of a Parent Finding Permission to Grieve R. Abrams Doug Manning This new edition considers in more depth We learn to give ourselves permission to the continuing importance of the deceased change traditions, choose safe people, and parent in one’s life, the critical role played be ourselves where we are. by the surviving parent, and the experiences of younger children, as well as the impact of Threads of Hope: An Offering for Those other types of loss such as divorce and Who Grieve adoption. Drawing on new research Beth Rotondo undertaken on bereavement, especially in Experiencing grief is often isolating and the area of “grief work,” When Parents Die overwhelming and yet the majority of us is a direct and sympathetic book that will have lost someone we deeply love. Threads speak to all readers concerned with coping of Hope offers those who grieve a with parental loss. framework to express our questions and thoughts as well as the author’s When Teens Are Grieving understanding of the grief process. Grief Quality of Life Publishing renders unimaginable pain but also offers Written by teens for teens, this is a guide us the miracle of hope. booklet to understanding loss and grief. When You Grieve From A to Z Ginny Limer This book uses illustrations, alliterations, and reflection questions to guide the reader on a creative grief journey through their emotions. Readers can color, journal, and draw. © Eluna 2019 www.achildingrief.com elunanetwork.org
National Bereavement Resource Guide Books You Are Not Alone: Teens Talk About Life After the Loss of a Parent L. Hughes The author believes that sharing experiences about losing a parent begins the healing process. Her purpose in writing the book is to let teens know that they don’t have to feel isolated—there is help available for them. © Eluna 2019 www.achildingrief.com elunanetwork.org
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