WHAT TO WEAR TO A WEDDING - BY DIANA PEMBERTON-SIKES FASHIONFORREALWOMEN.COM
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What to Wear to a Wedding
by
Diana Pemberton-Sikes
FashionForRealWomen.com
What should you wear to a wedding? It depends on a number of factors, including the date, time, and place. If you've ever been stumped by a wedding invitation or find yourself invited to a wedding for which you have no idea what to wear, keep reading. This brief report will help sort it all out for you. So where do you start? With the invitation. One of the neat things about invitations is that they tell you so much more than just who, what, where, and when. If you take the time to “read between the lines,” the invitation will provide you with valuable clues about the person who sent it and what you’ll find once you get there. Here’s what to look for: 1. The Date If you’ll be traveling, never assume that the weather will be the same where you’re going as it is where you are, even if you’re just traveling 100 miles. Go over to weather.com and type in the city or zip code where the wedding will take place. It will bring up a ten-day forecast, and allow you to see the averages for every day of the year there. Study the history to see what’s appropriate weather-wise. 2. The Time Next, note what time the wedding starts. If it’s before 6 pm, then it will be LESS formal than if it’s after 6 pm. We’ll get into degrees of formality in just a moment, but keep the hour of 6 pm firmly in your mind. 3. The Place A wedding in a big city (or one of its suburbs) will always be more formal than a wedding in a small town. In the United States, a wedding in the east will be more © 2012 by Diana Pemberton-Sikes FashionForRealWomen.com Page 2
formal than a wedding in the west, and if you put the entire country on a grid, you’d discover that the level of formality is the highest in the northeast, lowest in the southwest (with the exception of San Francisco, which follows northeast guidelines). A wedding in a church or synagogue is always more formal than a wedding in a garden or at a home. Similarly, a reception at a museum or cultural center will always be more formal than one at a lodge or town hall. 4. The Invitation Finally, look at the invitation itself. Is it a heavy card stock? Is it a classic color? Does it have formal wording or a fancy script? If so, expect the function to be more formal than one where the invitation is an unusual color, uses casual language or has a contemporary font. Since most people send out invitations that keep to the theme and tone of their wedding, this detail reveals a lot. Levels Of Formality So now that you have a general idea of what’s appropriate, let’s get into some examples, based on the levels of formality. I talk about these extensively in Occasion Magic, my fashion ebook for what to wear when, but let me give you a quick look here so you have a frame of reference. Here are the levels of formality, from most formal to least formal: White Tie White tie is the highest level of formal dress, and it’s always worn after 6 pm. If you’re invited to a White Tie wedding, it will always be by someone who has A LOT of money, since such affairs can easily climb into six figures. The wedding may be public or private, with the reception following at a swank hotel, fashionable resort, or elegant cultural hotspot. White tie weddings are popular among socialites, oil barons, royalty, and people with lots of money to spare that want to make a big splash. Gentlemen wear a long black dinner jacket with tails, a white pique vest over a formal white shirt with a white pique bow tie – hence the name. Spit-shined formal black shoes are a must; white gloves are optional. © 2012 by Diana Pemberton-Sikes FashionForRealWomen.com Page 3
When a man is dressed in white tie, his lady should wear a long, very formal evening gown. Hair may be swept up in a fashion that compliments the gown, and makeup should be heavier for evening. Precious jewelry is appropriate, but make sure it compliments—not competes with—your ensemble. Shoes can be either dressy silk pumps or delicate high heel sandals. Carry a small clutch or minaudiére (a small, metal evening bag), and wrap yourself in a fur, an evening cape, or a luscious Pashmina. If your evening gown is sleeveless or has short or cap sleeves, you may also elect to wear long white opera gloves. You may wear them during the cocktail hour and when you’re going through the receiving line (or if you’re in the receiving line.), but pull them off and lay them in your lap during dinner (try not to confuse them with your napkin). If you like, you may put them on again for dancing after dinner. Ultra-Formal is the same as White Tie. Black Tie Black Tie is slightly less formal than white tie and it is what is called for when the invitation says “formal” (unless white tie is specified). Like white tie, invitations for Black Tie weddings will come from people with a lot money, since fabulous food and unending libations don’t come cheap. If the invitation is from a doctor, lawyer, politician, successful entrepreneur, or the like, with a big city wedding after 6 pm and the reception at a popular hotel, upscale restaurant, private club, or estate, chances are, it will be black tie. Men wear a traditional black tuxedo with a formal white shirt and black bow tie and cummerbund. A lady may wear either a short or long evening gown. Follow the hair, makeup, and accessory tips given in white tie. Black Tie Optional If the invitation says Black Tie Preferred, Black Tie Optional, or Black Tie Invited, it means that traditional Black Tie apparel is the preferred choice for the event. If a gentleman decides not to wear a tuxedo, he may wear a dark suit, white dress shirt, and conservative tie. Nothing else will do. © 2012 by Diana Pemberton-Sikes FashionForRealWomen.com Page 4
If the guy opts for a tuxedo, then the lady should wear either a short or long evening gown, as in black tie. If the man chooses a dark suit, however, then the lady should opt for either a short evening gown, a dinner suit, or evening separates in order to compliment her partner. A dinner suit is usually made of finer fabrics than a regular business suit, such as satin, silk, or lace, and may include embellishments like beading, decorative stitching, and fancy buttons. Hair and makeup should be dressier than business attire, and again jewelry should compliment—not compete with—whatever it is you’re wearing. Match hose to shoes, and carry an evening clutch. Black Tie Invited is the same as Black Tie Optional. Black Tie Preferred is the same as Black Tie Optional. Creative Black Tie Creative Black Tie is a popular term with the trendy and artsy crowds. An invitation bearing this dress code might come from someone who’s a success in the fashion, art, music, or movie industry, and you can expect a healthy dose of WOW! with the flowers, decorations, wedding dress, and music selections. Men might wear a tuxedo with a black shirt and no tie, for example. Ladies can opt for long or short dresses or evening separates à la Sharon Stone—a taffeta skirt with a white blouse or a sequined skirt with a cashmere sweater, for example. As this varies from region to region, consult with someone “in the know” in your area for further guidance. Semi-Formal Semi-formal is the most popular attire for wedding guests as it’s suitable for a variety of situations. Large or small, city or country, semi-formal usually fits the bill. It means that tuxedos are not required, nor are long dresses. Evening weddings call for a dark suit for him, a cocktail dress for her. For daytime, a suit for him and a short dress or social suit for her are the most © 2012 by Diana Pemberton-Sikes FashionForRealWomen.com Page 5
appropriate choices. Hosiery is a must, as is an attractive handbag or clutch. You may wear your hair up and pull out your good jewelry as well, but remember that all elements should work together in unison, not compete against each other for attention. A hat may be worn for daytime weddings; just make sure it does not obstruct the view of those seated around you at the wedding. Cocktail Attire If the invitation calls for Cocktail Attire, as it might if the bride and groom are chic and into the club scene, then it’s time to pull out your “sparkly” clothes. It means a short, elegant cocktail dress for her and a dark suit for him. Match hose to shoes, carry a clutch, and wrap yourself in fur, an evening cape, or a lovely Pashmina. Business Attire While Business Attire is not usually a dress code for weddings, if you don’t know what to wear, business attire will generally work for most situations. It generally refers to the traditional business uniform of a dark suit, light shirt, and dark tie for him, a classic suit and light blouse, dress coat, or sheath for her. The look is tidy, clean cut, and almost always appropriate. Dressy Casual If the wedding is an elegant affair that’s going to take place beside a pool, at a resort, on the beach, or someplace similar, you might want to consider wearing dressy casual. Dressy Casual means conservative casual wear in quality fabrics. Dress slacks with knit shirts or cotton button down shirts for men, casual © 2012 by Diana Pemberton-Sikes FashionForRealWomen.com Page 6
dresses or knit ensembles for her. In no way should the term be interpreted as jeans, shorts, bared midriffs, exposed backs, or other distracting displays of flesh. The key word here is dressy. Sharp Casual Sharp casual is somewhere between dressy casual and casual, and is appropriate for casual weddings that take place at amusement parks, seaside, at a dude ranch, summer retreat, etc. The guide? Nothing tattered, torn, wrinkled, or otherwise unkempt. Casual Casual generally means, “anything goes,” particularly in this day and age. The best advice? Consider both your audience and the event. The bride and the groom are the stars of this show, so don’t try to call attention to yourself by exposing a lot of skin, wearing eye-catching colors, or something completely off the wall. Opt for basic, casual pieces that look great and are event-appropriate. All pictures in this section courtesy of Macys.com, except for the picture of Sharon Stone. Formal vs Informal Remember the hour of 6 pm that I gave you earlier? Here is how that comes into play with the different levels of formality: If the invitation says “formal”… Before 6:00 pm, the word “formal” means that a gentleman should wear a dark suit, white shirt, and conservative tie, much like Black Tie Optional. The lady should wear a business suit, an afternoon dress, or a nice sweater and skirt ensemble, but not a fancy dinner suit. © 2012 by Diana Pemberton-Sikes FashionForRealWomen.com Page 7
After 6:00 pm, formal refers to Black Tie.
If the invitation says “informal”…
Before 6:00 pm, a gentleman may opt for a sport coat, either light or dark, depending on
the weather and the geographic location, with a casual shirt and slacks and no tie. A
lady would be appropriately dressed in a sweater set, dress, or nice pants ensemble.
After 6:00 pm, a gentleman should wear a sport coat with a dress shirt, slacks, and a tie.
The lady’s attire should be better casual, meaning a nice sweater and skirt ensemble, a
nice dress, or a beautiful pants suit.
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Recap
Need a quick recap that you can print and take shopping? Here you go:
If the invitation Then wear:
says:
Ultra Formal Evening: White Tie required. Go glam.
Formal: Daytime: Short dress or suit. Hats and gloves are optional.
Evening: Black Tie apparel: long or short evening gown.
Semi-Formal Daytime: Short dress or suit.
Evening: Cocktail attire.
Informal Daytime: Short dress or suit. Business attire is okay for
morning weddings.
Evening: Cocktail attire.
Casual Anytime: Basic pieces, nice fabrics, nothing too casual or
risqué.
So what if the invitation doesn’t specify a dress code?
© 2012 by Diana Pemberton-Sikes FashionForRealWomen.com Page 8If you’re unable to glean the appropriate attire from the clues on the invitation, consider
this: A social suit or dress for daytime or a little black dress for evening will take you to
just about any wedding in style.
Just remember these simple rules:
Don’t wear white. If you’re not the bride, don’t compete with her color scheme.
Don’t wear black or sequins during the day.
Don't show a lot of skin. Excessively exposed breasts, legs, behinds, and midriffs
are considered bad taste – particularly in places of worship, where most wedding
ceremonies take place. Cover up.
To Sum It All Up
When dressing for a wedding – or any occasion – knowing what to wear boils down to
one thing: the formality level. Once you understand what's appropriate for different
occasions, whether it be a wedding, Christmas party, clam bake, or whatever, you'll be
able to dress with confidence and always fit in.
Want to “nail” the dress code every time? Then grab a copy of Occasion Magic and
never wonder what's appropriate again.
To your success!
Diana Pemberton-Sikes
FashionForRealWomen.com
© 2012 by Diana Pemberton-Sikes FashionForRealWomen.com Page 9You can also read
