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VOICE
NEWS / CULTURE / HEALTH / COMMUNITY / TRAVEL / FASHION / FOOD / YOUTH / HISTORY / FEATURES
AUTUMN 2022
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INSIDE:
2022
HONOREES:
Dayne Bachmann,
CT Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce,
U.S. Representative Rosa DeLauro,
Julia Gordon, Kamora Harrington,
Middlesex Health, Jacob G. Padrón,
Proud Academy,
Southern Connecticut State University,
Stanley Black & Decker, Inc.,
and Jackie Thurston
Thank First
you Choiceto
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Visit our website and follow us on
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For everyone under the rainbow.
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high-quality and compassionate health care
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EDITOR’S NOTE //
Welcome fall! Visit us online at
www.ctvoice.com
As I complete my first year working here with
Follow us on Twitter
Connecticut Voice, I am consistently amazed
@ctvoicemag
by the people of our state. It is an honor and
humbling to see how many people work so Like us on Facebook
tirelessly and dedicate themselves so completely facebook.com/CT-Voice
to ensuring better quality of life for all LGBTQ+
communities in our state. From our Governor to
members of the LGBTQ+ caucus in Hartford to
our representatives in Congress, to community, Connecticut VOICE™
faith, and health leaders, Connecticut continues is published by Seasons Media
to be a model for the nation. Publisher /Owner
James Tully
In these pages this month, you’ll meet just a
few of the people who have given themselves Editor
Christopher Byrne
so generously to our communities. The first Connecticut Voice Honors program
celebrates the individuals and organizations that have made diversity, inclusion, Creative Director
and acceptance hallmarks of their efforts. The people who appear in these pages— Stacy Murray
and who have appeared here in the past—are the beacons of hope. Our goal to Sales & Marketing Executive
amplify their voices to stress that they are motivated first by love—of civil rights, of Doreen Chudoba
humankind and of individuals—and to demonstrate that love always wins. It isn’t
Sales & Marketing Executive
always easy, and recent developments and rolling back of established rights are
Paul Whitman
a major cause of concern. To paraphrase Angels in America, the great work was
begun a long time ago, and the people keeping that going deserve our respect and
support every day.
We also celebrate life in Connecticut in this issue. Jane Latus has compiled a list of
non-profits in the state serving our LGBTQ+ communities. If you’re looking to get out
Experience Connecticut's Premiere Boutique Resort Destination
for an autumn adventure, check out the list of orchards compiled by Amy S. White.
Brian Lipton gets us in the mood for fall fashion, and Dawn Ennis looks at student life
for LGBTQ+ communities in our colleges.
Plus, there’s much more here and online at ctvoice.com. It has been a remarkable ™
privilege to meet and talk with so many dedicated and inspiring people over the past Uniquely situated where the Connecticut River meets the Long Island Sound, Saybrook Point Resort & Marina
year, and I look forward to much more in the seasons ahead.
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To advertise in
Connecticut VOICE contact
Doreen Chudoba
doreen@seasonsmagazines.com
Christopher Byrne, Editor
chris@ctvoice.com Paul Whitman
paul@ctvoice.com
@SAYBROOKPOINTRESORT
4 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 2 Bridge Street, Old Saybrook, CT 06475 | SAYBROOK.COM| 860.395.2000
IN THIS ISSUE //
54
COVER STORY
We unveil the first Connecticut
Voice Honors recipients...amazing
people making a difference to
LGBTQ+ communities around
the state.
Actor Pun Bandhu
8 34 50
CONTRIBUTORS ENTERTAINMENT HEATH &
Meet the writers behind the Out, Asian actor Pun Bandhu
stories in this issue. (picture above) and his mission
WELLNESS
How Middlesex Health supports
to see representation of Asian-
transgender individuals and their
Americans on stage.
10-22 commitment to providing the
best care available.
WHAT’S THE BUZZ 44
Goodspeed's commitment to
diversity, important information FEATURE 79
about the Parentage Act, coach Nonprofit organizations serving
and personality, Amit Mehta, LGBTQ+ communities in
THE LAST WORD
McMiller Fun, a queer-owned
and more. Connecticut...and how you can
company, commits to making
get involved.
toys and games that are
24 inclusive...and fun.
FASHION
Leather is big this fall. Check out
our great selection of styles for 68
everyone. DELICIOUS
Orchards around the
30 state waiting for
your visit.
EDUCATION
What life's like for
LGBTQ+ students
on CT campuses.
What's good, and
where we still
need to go. GLASTONBURY MOHEGAN SUN WEST HARTFORD WESTPORT WELLESELY
6 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022
CONTRIBUTORS //
FRANK RIZZO BRIAN SCOTT DAWN ENNIS KIM ADAMSKI
Frank Rizzo caught up LIPTON Dawn Ennis profiled Kim Adamski begins
with actor Alex Ringler Brian Scott Lipton talked professional coach a column on sexual
(page 10) and profiled with Goodspeed about Amit Mehta (page 12) health with this issue.
actor and activist Pan their commitment to and dug into LGBTQ+ She is a sex educator in
Bandhu (page 34). He inlcusion (page 14) and campus life (page 30). Hartford, Connecticut.
has written about the looks at leather fashion She is an award-winning She currently works
arts in Connecticut (page 24). He has been journalist, a professor at at the Hartford Gay
and nationally for more a nationally renowned University of Hartford, and Lesbian Health
than 40 years; for the journalist for over 30 and writes for several Collective. Kim
The New York Times, years. He has been Editor news outlets. Ennis loves answering the
American Theatre in Chief of TheaterMania. was America’s first questions people are
Magazine and dozens com and Resident transgender journalist in afraid to ask, and that’s
of other outlets. He is Publications, Managing a TV network newsroom what motivated her to
also a theater critic for Editor of men’s fashion when she came out go into sex education.
Variety. Follow Frank’s magazines DNR and nine years ago. Follow If you have questions
work at ShowRiz.com MR, and his byline has her @lifeafterdawn on about sex, contact her
and on Twitter appeared in Forbes and Twitter, Facebook and at adamski.kimberly@
@ShowRiz. The Wall Street Journal. Instagram. Ennis and gmail.com.
her family reside in West
Hartford, Connecticut.
AMY S. WHITE JANE LATUS MICHELLE CUTRALI TEDD LEVINE
Amy S. White lives,
teaches, cooks, eats,
and writes in Eastern
Jane Latus covers
health and politics.
She profiles nonprofits
Michelle Cutrali has
been an Financial
Advisor for more than
Tedd brings more than
40 years’ experience
as an attorney and
“MY BOUNTY IS AS BOUNDLESS AS THE SEA,
Connecticut. She
peeled back the
serving LGBTQ+
communities (page 44)
20 years and has
earned a Certification
CPA to the discussion
of matrimonial and
MY LOVE AS DEEP; THE MORE I GIVE TO THEE,
inside information on
Connecticut’s orchards
and contributed to the
CT Honors program,
in Long-Term Care
Planning. Her business,
relationship law. His
insights on protecting
THE MORE I HAVE, FOR BOTH ARE INFINITE.”
(page 68) and created as well as covering Cutrali Insurance and assets in a relationship
three savory and sweet Middlesex Health's Financial Services, is (Page 14), are based —Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
recipes for apples for support for transgender geared towards helping on many successful
the fall. You can find out individuals. (Page 56). LGBTQ+ folks with cases. In addition, he
more about her at her She is a writer and investments, insurance has worked in business,
website: amyswhite.com personal trainer living and retirement finance, corporate,
in Canton. She and her planning. Her specialty and licensing law. He
husband Ken have an in long-term care & life is on the Connecticut
escalating number of insurance helps to Bar and admitted to
cats and two grown shed more color on practice before the
sons, one transgender subjects that our Supreme Court.
and one gay. community needs to
start planning for.
8 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 9
WHAT’S THE BU ZZ ?
Actor Alex Ringler Is a Fashion Target
A
lex Ringler never community, Ringler created a unconventional material on Lord Targét that stood out on
says he hasn’t a witty web series, Annoyingly the many RuPaul’s Drag ship and shore.
thing to wear. Fit Neighbor, in which he Race episodes, Ringer looked
played both himself and at a pile of shopping bags “People were pretty
The Broadway and an insufferably sweet and from Target he had collected flabbergasted when they
television actor-dancer- buff neighbor that drives and thought: “Fabulous.” figured out it was made of
choreographer knows what him mad. The collected Target shopping bags,” says
a creative imagination and Ringler. It was a fun day on
a heightened gay sensibility the party island, but he didn’t
can do when one needs an expect the wave of “likes,”
outfit for a special occasion comments and shares when
that will land a bullseye. he posted his bag-drag pics
and clips on his social media.
Ringler’s latest occasion
was Fire Island’s annual Has Target contacted him
Fourth of July “Invasion of yet, perhaps for its holiday
the Pines” celebration where marketing campaign?
a ferry boatload of drag
queens dressed in their most “Well, kind of,” says the
spectacular outfits from the New York-based actor.
relatively sedate community “Just this morning on my
of Cherry Grove arrives at Facebook page I received a
the neighboring chi-chi communication from them
gay enclave where they are on the transformation video
welcomed by throngs in I just posted, saying they’d
thongs. For more on this, like to use this so I’m going
search online for the short through some channels now
film Invasion of the Pines. to see if it can be like a paid
promotion for Target. I’m
This is not the first time sure it would get a lot of hits
the tall, tanned and svelte for them, plus following Pride
actor has slipped into month, it shows they support
stilettos, having appeared the LGBTQ community all
in several productions of La year round. It’s good for
Cage Aux Folles (one at the Alex Ringler them and good for me. But
Goodspeed Opera House in the reason I originally did
East Haddam), Pageant, and five-minute episodes were The distinctive red-and-white it was that it wasn’t about
the national tour of Priscilla, featured at film festivals bulls-eye plastic bags were money. It was just about
Queens of the Desert. In this year. graphically bold, but did he having fun.”
his most elegant drag, he’s have enough for an elegant
a ringer for Patrick Swayze Ringler can also be seen in summer gown he envisioned Still, one could imagine
in To Wong Foo, Thanks for the upcoming film Bros, for his six-foot frame? a holiday commercial
Everything, Julie Newmar. starring Billy Eichner and campaign.
His lean, taut body has also Luke Macfarlane which is A few friends contributed
been on playful display in being marketed as the first their Target bags and soon “There could be a ‘60s mod
eight of the annual strip- gay rom-com from a major Ringer has enough for a ready-to-wear bag dress
a-thons, Broadway Bares, studio with an entirely Met-gala-worthy gown for that they could sell,” he says
which benefits Broadway LGBTQ+ cast. himself—and a matching laughing. “I could even make
Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. Targeted harness and a little wrap to go with it.”
For this past Fire Island jockstrap for his boyfriend
But Ringler is much more Invasion, it was Ringer’s first Philip which was made up of Perhaps could Lady Target
than drag. He performed time dressing up drag in woven bag handles. be the next spokesperson for
on Broadway in West Side a while. But what to wear the brand?
Story, toured in Cats and A when you don’t have a glam With glue gun in hand, and
Chorus Line, and returned budget…or any budget for a few extra safety pins for “Maybe I could even be the
to Goodspeed to play a that matter? good measure and security, next Flo!” (The character Claybourne Elder
bullwhip-cracking cowboy Ringer crafted the plastic in ads for Progressive starring in the hit
in Oklahoma! Though the Inspired by the way bags (made up of 40 per- Insurance.) Broadway revival of
pandemic curtailed work contestants fashion cent recycled content) into Company. Photo by
for the entertainment extravagant outfits from a winning look for Lady and —Frank Rizzo Ahmed Klink
10 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 11
WHAT’S THE BU ZZ ?
Amita Mehta Is Living Out Loud
THIS PROUD LESBIAN LIFE COACH PROVES
ANYTHING’S POSSIBLE, BY EXAMPLE
“There's so many dimensions Those attending the lun- career spanning more than
and intersectionality to my cheon gave Mehta a rousing two decades as an executive
journey and my story,” says standing ovation when she in financial services: Her love
career and leadership coach finished, but it’s what hap- of sports.
Amita Mehta, and so there are pened next that sticks with
many words one could use to her all these months later. “I have three brothers,” who
describe her: Only daughter forced me to play sports so
to conservative parents, wom- “What I found interesting was they could compete 2-on-2,
an, lesbian, refugee, Indian, having people come up to me says Mehta. And before long,
Amish, business strategist afterwards, after the event, she started to excel at sports.
and CEO. Mehta’s seen and to say, ‘Oh my gosh, I'm an
done it all, from Wall Street to immigrant,’ or ‘I'm a refugee,’ “That gave me a bit of an
our streets. or ‘I know what it feels like to edge relating to men, par-
have an ally.’ And so, for me, it ticularly in the workplace.
“Connecticut is like a secret was just an amazing experi- I learned how to play golf,”
gem,” Mehta told CT Voice in ence to not only lean into who she says. As the only under-
a recent Zoom conversation. I am as a woman, a lesbian, represented minority working
“I often traveled there and got but to be able to share the in a commercial lending
to work with some amazing fact that I do enjoy leaning department otherwise filled
people.” Her Connecticut con- into my culture, my history, with white males, she learned
nections led to her landing an and my past.” not just how to play, but how
opportunity earlier this year, business gets done.
to speak at the YWCA New Mehta’s family enjoyed an
Britain’s Biennial Women affluent life in Uganda, until Mehta says that insight
in Leadership Luncheon. CT 1972, when former military helped her move up at major
Voice was a proud sponsor of ruler Idi Amin expelled them, companies, including J.P.
the event, which drew hun- along with 50,000 other
Morgan Chase and Pruden-
dreds of people to the Aqua Asians, accusing them of
tial Financial. In her almost
Turf in Plantsville on May 12. that I never thought I had "milking Uganda's money.”
25 years in financial services,
inside me.” she developed a reputation
That day, Mehta delivered a “We landed here as refugees
as a trailblazer and trusted
powerful keynote address, “Are you sick?” he asked. with no money, and we had
advisor to C-Suite executives.
including the story of how she to rely on the Head Start
In 2018, she launched her
came out to her parents dur- “I'm a lesbian,” Mehta told program for at-risk youth, to
own consulting practice as a
ing a tour of Lower Manhat- her father. His response rely on the government for
business strategist and career
tan. First, she told her mother, left her speechless: “Well, assistance to get back on our
architect. Her company is
who made her promise not Dick Cheney's daughter is a feet,” says Mehta, who was
AMP, which stands for Amita
to tell her father. “That, to me, lesbian. And you know, she's just a child at the time.
Mehta Possible. Say that out
was just heart wrenching to pregnant with her partner. loud and you’ll hear yourself
hear,” she says. But not as They're having a baby.” Her parents raised Mehta
and her brothers in Amish deliver her clever tag line,
difficult as the next words her “Amita Made It Possible.”
mother said, when her dad country, where the first work
“He asked, ‘Are you happy?’
asked them, “What do we they could find was gluing
And I said, ‘Yes.’ And that's She says her expertise in
want to do next?” soles on shoes. Mehta says
when he said, ‘Look, you're diversity, equity and inclusion
she struggled to discover her
still our daughter. We love helps companies distinguish
Her mom says, “Tell him!” identity as an American.
you.’” themselves from their com-
“Tell me what?” says her dad. petition, build sustainable
“I just wanted to be the all-
“In that moment, I was feeling But her mother had the last bottom-line results, increase
American kid, so I would hide
this sense of terror and fear word, telling Mehta: “If you their return on investment
my culture or hide who I was,”
that I was saying goodbye get divorced or if you break and positively impact the
she says, a response to the
to my parents,” Mehta said. up, you're marrying an Indian obstacles in her way tied to communities they serve.
“And also, I felt this sense of man!” Unfortunately, that her gender and her ethnic-
relief and release that I was relationship did end in di- ity. “I just felt like there were As CEO of AMP, Mehta helps
actually going to be living vorce, but she says she’s now always these roadblocks that I others to find their silver
my truth here. And so, I'm very happily partnered with would face.” linings: “Having hope and a
convulsing, I'm crying. It's another woman. “I like to call sense of humor has served
echoing throughout the us ‘The HinJews. She’s Jewish, To overcome those, she me well.”
Winter Garden and everybody I’m Hindu, and now we’re the turned a childhood pastime
scatters. I was making noises HinJews!” into a skill that propelled her —Dawn Ennis
12 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022
WHAT’S THE BU ZZ ? GOODSPEED Eldercare begins
MUSICALS in your home!
Good for Goodspeed
sit in the audience. Seeing knew there are people who
younger folks come to into know the show and would
theater, many for the first want to see it again, and
time, is really great, and we knew there would be JUSTIN MICHAUD, DIRECTOR
we try to encourage that people coming to Goodspeed
through our programming.
Our goal at M.R. Home Care is to keep you in
for first time because they your home for as long as possible. Our staff is
And as we navigate through
wanted to see this particular knowledgeable and up-to-date with LGBTQ+ home
this pandemic, I hope we
show. In fact, 20 percent of
can do more events for the care needs. We believe you deserve to always be in
the audiences at Cabaret
LGBTQ+ audience, like special a safe, clean and functional environment.
nights out. were newcomers. It would be
deadly for us to only cater to We’ve been providing quality care in Connecticut
CV: Can you talk about one group of people. for over 30 years. Call today to learn about which
what decisions go into home care options will work for you!
programming a season? CV: Tell me about how
CALL JUSTIN MICHAUD: 860-583-1541
DB: It is a long, thoughtful Christmas in Connecticut
process, with the goal of came about and how you
creating a well-rounded think audiences will react
S
season artistically. We work to it?
far in advance; we often DB: People are already
ince it opened its the CT artistic community? think two or three seasons responding to it! The creators
doors in 1963 on DB: We see ourselves as ahead, but our plans often
the banks of the
Connecticut River
a leader of this artistic
community by always serving
shift at the last minute.
Sometimes, we take on a
had been working on the
show and reached out to SEPT 16–NOV 6 For everyone under the rainbow.
in East Haddam, our mission of presenting us, so Donna Lynn Hilton,
musical we really want to
Goodspeed Musicals has the highest quality musicals, our artistic director, and I
revisit, and sometimes a
been a theatrical mecca whether they be revivals— attended a reading in New
great project comes to us,
for Connecticut residents or what I call “revisals”—or York City. We found it to be
and theatergoers from the unsolicited. We have even
whether we are fostering incredibly charming, funny,
Northeast and beyond. started commissioning new
new work and new talent. In
work—and, believe me, it can and a natural fit for our
Their commitment to addition, part of our role as
nurturing and presenting take a long time to create a fourth slot this season, which
an artistic leader is to serve
new musicals, along with show from the ground up. It’s hadn’t been filled. Believe it
all the community; we need
carefully thought-out revivals always about what stories do or not, I didn’t know the film
to represent a plurality of
of classic shows—both at the voices on and off the stage. we want to tell, while needing when I went to the reading.
magnificent Opera House In every way possible, we to serve both our subscribers However, not long after that,
and the charming Norma want Goodspeed to be as and the community at large. my husband Jeff and I got on
Terris Theatre in neighboring open and affirming a place And it’s also about reminding
a plane to visit some family,
Chester—has earned as it possibly can be. We ourselves that sometimes
and it was available, which
Goodspeed two special Tony want it to be a space where the biggest risk turns out
to be the biggest success. was the first time I watched
Awards, along with the loyal everyone can be authentically
Remember, many years ago, it. I think the show is a great
patronage of subscribers and who they are. That means,
that show about a little red- musical comedy and will
first-time visitors alike. for example, we have those
Connecticut Voice recently headed girl (Annie) was just be a fun and cheery way
conversations about which
spoke with David R. Byrd, a pronouns people use, some new show we put on. for everyone to spend the
Connecticut arts veteran who which some people don’t holidays.
was appointed the theater’s understand. CV: Can you talk more about
managing director in 2021, balancing your subscription
about Goodspeed’s mission, CV: Tell me what Goodspeed base with attracting new
its commitment to LGBTQ+ specifically does to interact audiences? Christmas in Connecticut
patrons, and its innovative with all members of the DB: Naturally, a lot of our runs from November 18 to
programming, which local population, as well as programming has to do with
December 30 at Goodspeed
includes the upcoming world any special efforts to attract keeping our subscribers
Opera House, 6 Main Street,
premiere musical Christmas
in Connecticut, based on the
LBTGQ+ visitors?
DB: It’s also important that
happy. We have patrons who
have been around for almost
East Haddam, CT 06423
Ticket prices range from $30-
NOV 18–DEC 30
1945 film starring Barbara our audiences don’t see all our 60 years, and they take
Stanwyck, debuting in coming to the theater as a pride in their long tenure. But $76, and can be purchased
November. barrier. People need to feel we still need to attract new at goodspeed.org. or by
calling 860-873-8668.
The Goodspeed •East Haddam, CT
comfortable here; we try people to grow and diversify.
CV: What do you think is
Goodspeed’s primary role in
to make it clear you don’t
need to wear a bowtie to
It’s one reason we produced
Cabaret, earlier this year; we —Brian Scott Lipton
Photo by T. Charles Erickson
goodspeed.org
14 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 860.873.8668 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 15
WHAT’S THE BU ZZ ? WHAT’S THE BU ZZ ?
Taking Steps to Prevent Tying the Knot?
Youth Suicide Tie Down the Legal Issues
D G
ata shows LGBTQ+ more than 30 percent Project study also etting married? marriage, which can include Security, and unpaid leave to
teens are at great- between 2000 and 2020. found that the risk of Living together? emotional security, a public care for family members.
er risk of suicide suicide or other self- Together apart? commitment to another
in the past three Jennifer A. Rumboldt, vice harm among LGBTQ+ (An established person, the support of Because marriage has
years, and the risk keeps president regional operations youth in supportive practice in family and friends, a stable only been available on a
growing. This is according to officer for Worcester and environments— The Netherlands where environment for children, widespread basis throughout
a new study from The Trevor Northwestern MA for TD whether at school, people are in committed and, in some cases, a political the U.S. to same-sex couples
Project published earlier relationships but don’t statement. Many of these for just over seven years,
Bank, is a strong advocate home, or work—was
cohabitate.) Each of the can be established without many couples who choose to Attorney Ted Levine
this year. The survey tracked for attention—and seeking significantly reduced.
choices we make in our a legal marriage, as well, but marry have had established
responses from nearly 35 care. She heads up the
of strong, sustaining relationships has personal, for many they are important lives before saying “I do.”
thousand young people ages LGBTQ+ group at the And there are many places financial, and legal reasons to get married.
friendships, which are critical There may be previous
13-24 in the U.S, deemed eli- bank for the region, and to get help. In July, the FCC implications. marriages, children, and lawyer who specializes in this
to mental health. The same
gible by the researchers and notes that they are paying began a new mental health From practical and legal a host of other concerns field, but among the assets
holds true for the work
were unique to the LGBTQ+ particular attention to hotline. Simply dialing 988 In these columns, we have perspectives, in addition or issues. (Some of these that will have to be divided
environment where isolation
experience. suicide prevention among will put callers in touch with focused primarily on the legal to building a life together, apply to later marriages for are real estate, inheritances,
has taken an emotional toll
LGBTQ+ people, an area in the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. implications of the choices couples can build wealth straight couples as well.) businesses, pensions, and
on people.
Of the responders, 75 percent which they haven’t been The Biden administration that are made. The question together. Connecticut is an Particularly where there are other investments.
said they had felt anxiety active previously. She has has invested more than $400 this month is what are the “equitable distribution” state blended families, you’ll want
It's also essential for parents
in the past year. Sixty- experienced the loss and million in expanding crisis pros and cons of getting and an “all-property state,” to speak to your accountant One thing you will want to
and caregivers to be mindful married. Since the Obergerfell which basically means that all and lawyer about setting up
one percent experienced tragedy firsthand: centers and other mental do is preserve all records
of why young people who ruling in 2015 that requires property is marital property, trusts to ensure that assets
symptoms of depression. health systems to support prior to and throughout
wanted mental health all states to issue marriage unless there is a prenup are transferred consistent
Eighty-two percent wanted "I lost my daughter to this effort. In Connecticut, your marriage—whether it’s
care didn’t get it. Their top licenses to same-sex couples (or postnup) agreement, with the parties’ wishes when
mental health care related suicide eight years ago, and callers can also dial 211 to investments, who paid for
three reasons were a fear of and recognize valid same- which, in most cases will be one spouse dies or becomes
to their identities, but 60 she was a member of the be put in touch directly what and so forth. Having
discussing mental health sex marriages from any honored by the courts. The legally incapacitated. For
percent of those were LGBTQ+ community. So I with a caseworker who can a record of all of this will be
concerns (48 percent), fear jurisdiction, the question of advantage is that couples instance, you may want to
unable to get it. They also really wanted to spearhead help them. The American whether or not to marry has can make joint decisions very helpful, and perhaps
of getting parental consent ensure your spouse is cared
reported physical threats something around Foundation for Suicide taken on new importance for regarding work, childcare, for throughout their life, but determinative, if you are
(45 percent), and fear of
and intimidation related prevention and awareness Prevention (www.afsp.org) couples, as what had been income, etc. with an added on their death, remaining looking at dividing property.
not being taken seriously
to their identities and for others, but certainly has a range of services on mere symbolic ceremonies level of security. There are assets should be distributed
(43 percent) Other issues
gender expression at high recognizing what were up their site, including listings had no legal standing. also tax advantages relating to your own family members. Once you get all of this
included being outed, an
rates—nearly 40 percent in against in today's world. for special services for Now they do. Any couple to marriage and how income All of this is feasible; however, established, you can turn
inability to afford care,
some cases. Most tellingly, LGBTQ+ people, seniors, and considering marriage should is combined, which can it takes time and attention to your attention to issues such
inability to access care, and
more than 45 percent of all “With the shutdown and the veterans. plan carefully—and do the contribute to your long-term set it up. as where are you going to
fear of their identities being financial planning. Always
LGBTQ+ teens considered pandemic, people’s lives have hard work of looking at spend Thanksgiving, or what
misunderstood. their individual situations consult a tax advisor as you From a legal perspective,
suicide in the past year, and changed. Outside groups Prevention, however, begins kind of vacation do you want
before tying the knot. No, look into how these issues the downside is that when to take, or setting healthy
20 percent of transgender that were able to support on an interpersonal level. Virtually all of these issues these aren’t always easy apply to you. you have combined two boundaries around visiting
and nonbinary young people our LGBTQ+ youth have shut Providing a supportive could be resolved—or conversations, but we have lives, a divorce, should that with in-laws. All of that comes
considered it. Moreover, rates down, or were limited and environment for LGBTQ+ certainly helped—by seen time and time again Marriage also makes it happen, makes things more with marriage as well.
were higher among youth may not even operate at all.” youth, allowing them to providing an open, (and with any contract to difficult to unwind. As noted,
easier to deal with the death
of color in all categories. communicate their concerns, supportive and loving be honest), doing one’s best Connecticut is an “equitable
of a spouse. For example, Finally, as we’ve said in other
Significantly, the numbers She adds that she didn’t and seeking professional environment for kids. Suicide to anticipate what may lie distribution” state, with a
property-transfer taxes— columns, because people
among LGBTQ+ youth want people to be afraid or treatment are all essential. is a tragedy and in many, if ahead and addressing any very broad division of what
estate and gift taxes—don’t change and grow over time,
are significantly higher nervous about talking about Young people who have close not most, cases, preventable. potential issues generally constitutes property. Also,
apply when transferring your it’s important to revisit your
than youth in any other these issues and that it’s personal relationships are September is a good time results in a happier outcome as an “all property” state, all
property to your spouse, agreements and adapt as
demographic group, defined important to educate people, also at lower risk for suicide to make ourselves aware of for everyone. A few hours property may be divided,
although they do come situations change. Being
by race and ethnicity. particularly about warning or self-harm. Though it hasn’t spent in what is decidedly even if it is only in one
what we can do—but we into play when property responsible to your legal
signs, which in her case she been studied scientifically, an unromantic conversation, spouse’s name, or if it was
need to be engaged all year. is transferred between and financial well-being is
September is suicide didn’t see. educators and psychologists can free you up to experience owned prior to the marriage.
romance more fully. unmarried couples. Plus, Some states, however, such as important as any other
prevention month, and it’s an agree that the recent You can access the entire there are government as New York, recognize element of your marriage.
important time to be mindful Mostly, she wants people isolation necessitated by the Trevor Project study online at Certainly, there are all benefits that apply to married separate property claims.
of the need for care for both to know that there is help pandemic and interpersonal www.thetrevorproject.org. the social benefits of couples, including Social You’ll want to consult a —Tedd S. Levine, Esq.
young people and everyone. out there for people who relationships conducted
According to the CDC, all are struggling, and the often over Zoom have
DISCLAIMER: The information provided in the column does not, and is not intended to, constitute legal advice, or be relied upon in any legal matter. Instead, all
suicides in the U.S. increased good news is that the Trevor impeded the development —Christopher Byrne
information in this article is for general information purposes only. You should always contact your lawyer for additional advice based on your individual situation.
Photo by T. Charles Erickson
16 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 17WHAT’S THE BU ZZ ?
Porn’s Not Going Anywhere.
Let’s Talk About It!
D
id you know to drive, learning to use porn
SEX
that 73 percent safely can reduce one’s risk
of women and of harm.
95 percent of
TALK
men report Some people like to
using porn in the last six gloss over or ignore
months? It’s true, according the risks associated
to a 2016 study published in with pornography,
the peer-reviewed journal but it’s important
With Kim Adamski
First Choice Health Centers’ location dedicated to Cyberpsychology, Behavior,
and Social Networking. The
to acknowledge
them so we
LGBTQ+ health has re-opened for in-person medical visits. age at which people are
first exposed to porn is quite
can address
them. Age of
young, too. The American first exposure
Psychological Association is closely
We are proud to offer the following services in East Hartford
reports that the average age associated with
was 13 among men (porn use bad outcomes.
at 809 Main Street, First Floor:
among women and nonbi- Doctoral student
nary individuals is not as well Alyssa Bischmann,
studied). Most of these first co-author of
encounters with porn were the APA study
reported to be accidental, but mentioned earlier,
-Preventative care such as routine physicals a third reported accessing states that “...the
pornography intentionally. younger a man was
-Behavioral Health when he first viewed
pornography, the more
-Anal, Breast, and Cervical cancer screening Based on these numbers,
it’s clear that the majority of
likely he was to want power
over women.” (Interestingly,
-Gender-affirming hormone therapy people view porn at some
point in their lives, and
the older men were the
first time they viewed porn,
-Hepatitis C treatment many, fairly regularly. So why
don’t we talk about it more?
the more likely they were
to adhere to what we think
porn safely
-HIV prevention and treatment (including PrEP and PEP) Porn is a subject that many and critically. The
of as more promiscuous
parents feel uncomfortable earlier we start talking
masculine norms.)
about healthy sexuality,
-Pregnancy Testing talking about with kids
and may be unsure how to Much of the evidence on and by addressing porn in
decisions on what kind of
porn we watch and how
a timely manner with our
-Testing for sexually transmitted infections even approach it. Adults,
too, have difficulty talking
whether porn is “good” or
“bad” is inconclusive. Some kids, the more likely we
we use it, if we use it at all.
We can also evaluate how it
about porn, even within close studies say it leads to higher are to approach porn in a
affects our sexual selves, and
relationships with friends relationship satisfaction; healthy way.
For an appointment, call:
if it’s affecting us negatively,
or partners. This can lead to others say the opposite. take steps to address that.
feelings of guilt, as well as Others say that it leads to So how do we help our kids
860-610-6300
unhealthy attitudes toward increased safer sex behaviors, (and ourselves) become
porn literate? It’s all about Porn use is just like any other
sex. So, let’s talk about it here! and some say it’s associated
asking questions. Why do facet of sexuality. We have
with less condom use. To
Porn literacy, is, in short, we like the porn we like? Is it our preferences and habits.
me, this suggests that the
being able to think critically effects of porn are largely realistic? If not, what about it Some are positive, some
about pornography. UConn individual. It depends on a isn’t? How are performers of neutral, and some negative.
different genders portrayed? Porn literacy can help us
Visit our website and follow us on
PhD candidate Rachael person’s unique personality,
Farina, LMFT, compares using sexual preferences, porn How can the porn we watch identify the habits that cause
porn to driving a car. Both of choice, and even brain affect our expectations of us harm, and work to change
social media for up-to-date information: activities carry risk and can makeup. Thus, it’s all the sex and gender? When we them for the better.
potentially result in negative more important to develop start thinking critically about
https://www.firstchc.org/ outcomes. Just like learning the tools we need to use porn, we can make informed —Kim Adamski
18 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022WHAT’S THE BU ZZ ?
Parenting and Parentage
B
ecoming par-
ents has special
challenges for
LGBTQ+ commu-
nities. Yet, that
doesn’t stop people from
planning, starting or add-
ing to their families, and it’s
getting easier and clearer in
Connecticut, thanks to the
Connecticut Parentage Act,
which went into effect in
January of this year.
While older members of the
LGBTQ+ communities chose
not to have children or raise vides the egg and the other Verrastro says, it’s essential knowledged from birth, they
families, a 2019 study by Fam- carries the child so there will for people who are consider- achieve a level of equality and
ily Equality found that 63 per- be a biological connection to ing becoming parents to be legitimacy as parents that
cent of LGBTQ+ millennials both parents. informed about the act and cannot be questioned. This
ages 18-35 planned to start or its benefits. can be essential for practical
expanded a family in the next Whatever method people matters as medical decisions,
few years. Of those, 63 per- select, Verrastro is eager for “The beauty of the act,” he insurance, inheritance, and
cent plan to use assisted re- everyone to understand the says, “is that when the child preserving parental rights
productive care, fostering, or ramifications of the Parent- is born in the hospital, the should a couple ultimately
adoption, compared to older age Act and how it serves parents or parents are able separate. The intangible
people for whom the major- LGBTQ+ communities. He to complete an ‘Acknowl- benefit is that the family is
ity of children were conceived says, “Connecticut has always edgement of Parenthood.’ It recognized by the state as
through intercourse. been LGBTQ+ friendly, even has removed gender as an equal to traditional, hetero-
if it hasn’t meant to be. In the assumption as to who is the sexual couples.
Helping families, whether or early 90s, we were the first parent of the child, and it
not they identify as LGBTQ+, to recognize sperm donation has removed the number of Since it only went into ef-
has been the mission of the as a legitimate way to build parents. fect this year, Verrastro says
Center for Advanced Repro- a family. In the early 2000s, that they are still educating
ductive Services, based in we were also the first to pass “In the past, it was automati- people about the parent-
Farmington with offices in legislation to recognize the cally assumed that all kids age act and what it means.
Hartford, New London and gestational carrier, another had two parents and that Verrastro himself identifies
Branford. Established in 1983, word for surrogate.” they were a mom and a dad. as a member of the LGBTQ+
the Center has been respon-
sible for just over 17,000 live
Now, at the time the child is
born—prior to completing
community, and the Center
is currently undergoing the
Primary Care LGBTQ+ Health
births, according to CEO Paul
Verrastro. Of those, approxi-
the birth certificate—they
can choose the parent.”
accredidation process for
the Healthy Equality Index,
Diagnostic Appts PrEP/HIV Care
mately 2,000 have been to
LGBTQ+ individuals, though
Verrastro notes that this form
has streamlined the process
which Verrastro describes as
a seal of approval for policies, Physicals Trans Care
he adds that the Center has
only been tracking LGBTQ+
of parenthood significantly.
The Acknowledgement of
training, use of preferred pro-
nouns, new names, genders, Vaccinations HRT
parents as a separate group Parenthood is a legally bind- and new genders. All of these
for the last decade. ing form. Previously, the pro- are established practices of Sexual Health Mental Health
spective parents would have the Center.
The Center serves many to go to the courts to obtain a
LGBTQ+ people, he says: pre-birth order, and allow the Verrastro says the door is
“Single people, gay male child to be born. At that time, always open for prospective 618 West Avenue
couples, lesbians, and trans- the woman delivering the parents seeking advice.
gender people at various
points in their transition.” Paul Verrastro
child would be the parent on
the birth certificate, and the
The Center’s website
(www.uconnfertility.com) Norwalk, CT
They offer in-vitro fertilization other parent would have to also includes a dedicated
(the only option for men) or do a post-birth adoption. section with comprehensive Monday - Friday 9 AM - 5 PM
intrauterine insemination, These moves were mainly information for LGBTQ+
and option for lesbian and designed to support het- Over and above the legal ad- individuals exploring
eronormative parenting,
Request an Appointment on CircleCareCenter.org
trans people. He adds that vantages, there are emotion- building their families.
most lesbian use reciprocal but they benefitted LGBTQ+ al benefits as well. Because
IVF where one partner pro- people as well. To that end, parents can be legally ac- —Christopher Byrne
or call 203-852-9525
20 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022WHAT’S THE BU ZZ ?
Cheers!
Make a Long Term Care Plan Today
Prepare
to betoday so we can
Prepared for toast to tomorrow!
Tomorrow
LGBTQ+ Owned Business
Call today and
Call 860-559-2183 &let’s chat!
let's prepare!
College Funding –
Where do we begin? Michelle Cutrali, CLTC
860-559-2183 | www.cutralifinancial.com
T
he mere thought of first day is years off. Fortu- The great Nutmeg State It’s free to open a CHET ac-
CT VOICE online mcutrali@ft.newyorklife.com
funding a college nately, there are smart ways allows you to put up to count, but there are always www.ctvoice.com Michelle Cutrali, Registered Representative offering securities through NYLIFE Securities LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC, a Licensed
Insurance Agency, G.O. Main Phone Number 860-285-8884
Cutrali Insurance and Financial Services, LLC is not owned or operated by NYLIFE Securities LLC or its affiliates.
education can be to do this. $300,000 into your child’s costs to investing. Each ac- 360 Bloomfield Ave, Ste 402, Windsor, CT 06095, 860 285 8884
completely over- CHET plan. Let’s say you have count carries a total annual
whelming for some families. Let’s start with the easy CT a child prodigy and “they” get
asset-based fee that is made
College costs continue to 529 College Savings Plan— that elusive full ride scholar-
escalate and a college educa- ship, not to worry, you can up of mutual fund, program
CHET. CHET is a great way
tion is a necessity for many transfer a 529 CHET plan to a management and adminis-
to start investing in your
career paths. Then there’s sibling and/or parent to fund tration fees. The annual fee is
the challenge and competi-
tive nature of application and
child’s college fund with no
minimum deposit. You can
their higher education costs.
On the contrary, your child
anywhere from 0.11 percent • Medical
to 0.99 percent and is de-
acceptance. Finally, figuring
out how to pay for college
fund it monthly, quarterly or
whenever you have some ex-
may grow up to be a busi-
ness entrepreneur and you
ducted from your account • Behavioral
balance. You should speak to
has been the cause of many
sleepless nights. Parents and
tra cash. Sick of your relatives
giving short-lived toys for
would like to take the funds
in the CHET plan to support
a financial advisor, like me, to Health
determine your best option
• Dental
kids very often feel a lot of holidays and birthdays? Just their endeavor, not to worry,
stress around this process. have them write that check you can do that too, but you and see how investment fees
Parents especially because out to CHET instead! WILL pay taxes on the gains may affect your CHET plan
over the long haul.
figuring out how to pay for
college and limiting long- Let’s talk about the ben-
in the account.
LGB-focused
term debt is one more thing
they feel they should be do-
efits of the CHET account,
beginning with my favorite,
CHET offers several invest-
ment options including ones
For more information on
the Connecticut Higher
& Transgender
ing for their kids. Tax-Deduction! Connecti- that automatically rebalance
your assets to become less
Education Trust, search "CT Healthcare
cut families can deduct up Chet" online to be taken
There are merit scholarships risky as your child gets older.
to $10,000 from their state directly to the CT portal with
available but finding one that
covers all the costs is rare. In
taxable income per account
You do not need any invest-
ment knowledge to enroll in all the information on the Offering:
fact, most financial aid will be per year. This only gets better, this plan because the CHET program.
determined by family finan- funds taken out of the CHET comes with its own invest- • HIV Testing
cial need. Saving for college for college-funding purposes ment options and is a ‘set-it
are completely TAX-FREE (my and forget-it’ college educa- — Michelle Cutrali
• Hepatitis C
can be a big part of a family’s
financial plan—even if that favorite words). tion fund. contributed to this article. Screening &
Treatment
• HIV PrEP & PEP
DISCLAIMER: This article is for informational purposes only, and it does not replace professional investment advice, for
legal, tax, financial, or any other. It is recommended that you seek such advice from a Financial Advisor or Certified Long • and more!
Term Care Planner who will understand your individual situation.
Photo by T. Charles Erickson
www.chc1.com | (860) 347-6971
22 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 23“The continuing popularity
FASHION //
of well-made leather goods
is the main reason why our
LEATHER family-owned company has
been satisfying customers
WEATHER
generation after generation.
Our jackets and bags never
go out of style.”.”
L
BY BRIAN SCOTT LIPTON –JOSE-NOEL ROCHA
eather? I hardly even
know her.
Actually, that’s
not true for most
of us. Especially
as temperatures
begin to
cool down,
we consciously make leather
an essential part of our daily
wardrobes. The cotton t-shirts, the
canvas sneakers, the Target bags
we now use as our everyday totes
get pushed to the back of closet
as we relish the opportunity to
drape ourselves once again in
cowhide and lambskin, which are
not only luxurious, durable and
fashionable—but just right for
the nippy breezes of autumn or
even the chilly winds of winter.
Moreover, while we may
replenish a piece or two (or
three) each fall—either for fun
or from necessity—the fact
remains that many of us have
leather goods that we sport
year after year, if not decade
after decade. (Personally, I still
treasure—and wear —an Italian-
made leather jacket I purchased
in the Berkshires more than 20
years ago!)
“In an era of disposable Men's leather jacket
fashion, consumers understand from J.L. Rocha
that leather goods not only stand
the test of time, but they also
provide a timeless approach to
building a closet of core items
that is the ultimate expression
Red patent leather jacket
of sustainability,” notes Mark from Diesel
Kohlenberg, CEO of Moral Code
24 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 CT VOICE | AUTUMN 2022 25You can also read
