Internet Safety - notmykid.org
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Internet
Safety
notmykid.org
info@notmykid.org
602.652.0163
APP CATEGORIES THAT
PARENTS SHOULD KNOW
Messaging/Chat Apps
Apps in this category: Kik, WhatsApp, MeetMe, Facebook Messenger,
HouseParty, Viber, Telegram, Signal
WHY KIDS AND TEENS LIKE THEM: POTENTIAL CONCERNS:
• Send instant messages to friends • Can open up contact from predators
• Multimedia capacity (pictures/videos) • Are often used for sexting
• Massive worldwide user base • Can’t always verify who is messaging
• Parents won’t see conversations in texts • Have been involved in abduction cases
• Meet new people • Sharing of explicit media
• Can reveal location
Anonymous Apps
Apps in this category: Ask fm, YOLO, Curious Cat, Sarahah, Whisper, Tellonym
WHY KIDS AND TEENS LIKE THEM: POTENTIAL CONCERNS:
• A sk questions and leave • Lend themselves to cyberbullying
comments anonymously • S
exually inappropriate
• Receive compliments and validation comments/questions
• Post anonymous confessions • A
ssociated with multiple
• A
nonymity provides perception suicides (Ask fm)
of safety/privacy • No accountability for words and actions
• Explicit photos of students posted
• Used to post or send threats
Disappearing Apps
Apps in this category: Snapchat, Telegram, Signal, Wickr Me,
Yovo, Clipchat, Slingshot, Dust
WHY KIDS AND TEENS LIKE THEM: POTENTIAL CONCERNS:
• Pictures and messages seem • Are used for sexting
to disappear • C
an make it difficult for parents to
• Prevents parents from finding sexting detect problems
images and videos • False belief that images actually disappear
• Allows for secret conversations • Images can be screencapped and saved
via other methods
APP CATEGORIES THAT PARENTS SHOULD KNOW
Picture/Video Apps
Apps in this category: Instagram, Tik Tok, VSCO, Snapchat,
Dubsmash, Byte, Triller, Funimate, Imgur, Flickr, Vero
WHY KIDS AND TEENS LIKE THEM: POTENTIAL CONCERNS:
• Attention, affirmation, and compliments • P
redators use pictures/videos
• Immediate feedback from followers to find targets
• Large follower count is a badge of honor • U
sers can be cyberbullied over
their appearance
• Sharing their life with friends
• U
nhealthy comparison and competition
• Users can apply filters & effects with others
• Pressure to project a perfect image online
• FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out
• Unhealthy impulsive decisions can go viral
Vault Apps
Apps in this category: Vault, Calculator%, Hide It Pro, Vaulty,
Keepsafe Photo Vault, AppLock, Discreet Vault, Private Photo Vault
WHY KIDS AND TEENS LIKE THEM: POTENTIAL CONCERNS:
• Users can hide videos and pictures • A
re used to store sexting images
• Users can hide other apps (AppLock) and videos
• Prevents parents from finding • C
an make it difficult for parents to
sexting images detect problems and help their child
• Looks like calculator, audio manager,
or currency converter (Hide It Pro)
Create and enforce consistent rules
for technology use: apps they can
and can not use, who they can have
as friends/followers/subscribers,
who they can talk to, how much time
can be spent using their devices, and
where their devices are to be used.
THE FOUR A’s
OF CYBERBULLYING
Audience: Access:
1 Online harassment can take place
2 An aggressor can harass the targeted
in front of an audience of millions. child 24/7. Even at home it can be
If an embarrassing photo or video hard to escape.
goes viral, a digital footprint may
remain indefinitely.
Document
and keep
records of any
cyberbullying
or sexual
solicitation
your child
encounters on
their devices.
Anonymity: Awareness (or Lack
3 An aggressor can remain anonymous
4 of Adult Awareness):
while cyberbullying. Therefore, they
Cyberbullying can take place on apps,
can often harass others without being
sites, and platforms that parents aren’t
held accountable.
familiar with. It’s important to know
the apps on your child’s device.
SIGNS OF UNSAFE OR
UNHEALTHY TECHNOLOGY USE
During the preteen and teen years, it can and begin a conversation to find out what is
sometimes be difficult to know whether your going on in order to know how to best help your
child is dealing with a mental or behavioral health child. It’s especially important to take note if
challenge such as unhealthy technology use, several symptoms are occurring in combination,
substance use, or bullying, or if the changes in or are occurring over a prolonged period of time.
behavior you’re seeing are simply a matter of Even if they’re not dealing with a serious issue,
your child going through a natural transition. taking the time to talk with them can still be
However, it’s important to monitor behavior incredibly beneficial.
Some of the most common signs of unsafe or unhealthy technology use can include:
• A drop in grades • Loses interest in school work
• Secrecy about their device use • C
hange in overall mood, increase in depression,
• Isolation from family and friends anxiety, and/or anger
• Mood swings • B
egins comparing their appearance with people
they see on social media
• Gets angry or anxious when their device isn’t
available to them • B
egins comparing their life with the lives of
people they see on social media
• Receives gifts or money from people you
don’t know • F
eels the need to measure up to what they see
on social media
• Becomes obsessive about using their device
or specific apps • B
egins neglecting homework and/or chores in
favor of spending time on their device
• Immediately changes screens or closes an app
when a parent is near • C
reates multiple social media accounts that
parents aren’t aware of
• Downloading pornography
• C
reates multiple social media accounts with
• Begins taking and/or sending explicit images the intent of hiding them from parents
or video of themself
• B
egins giving out private personal information
• Loses interest in activities not involving their on apps or social media platforms
device, apps, or social media
• Changes in eating habits
• A
n increased amount of junk mail arrives
at your home addressed to your child
... it’s important to monitor behavior
and begin a conversation to find out
what is going on ...
PARENT TECHNOLOGY
AGREEMENT
• I understand the important role that technology • If my child uses their device in a way I do not
plays in the life of my child. Therefore, I am approve of, I will calmly reexplain the rules
responsible for becoming familiar with the forms for technology use, the plan moving forward,
of technology my child uses and will ensure my and the consequences for the inappropriate
child uses it in a safe and responsible manner. behavior. I understand that simply taking away
• I will get to know the devices, apps, social the device alone will not correct the problem.
networking platforms, and sites my child uses. • I will spend time each month getting familiar
• I will set and explain reasonable rules and with my child’s friends and followers on social
expectations for technology use, including media. This may include asking my child about
how much time each day my child can use individuals on their friends/followers list and
their devices. how they know them.
• I understand that balance is important, and • I will ensure that technology is used in a
therefore will make sure my child also engages common family area of the house and is not
in activities that don’t involved their devices taken into my child’s bedroom.
or technology. • I will talk with my child about what is
• I will listen carefully and maintain my permissible on social media and apps, what is
composure if my child comes to me to tell me allowed on their personal profiles, what is and
about something disturbing that was sent to is not appropriate to say or post, who they can
them or that they found on an app or website. talk to, and what my expectations are.
• I will learn what best options exist in terms
of parental control, monitoring, and filtering,
and will make a decision that best meets
my family’s needs.
• I will let my child know in advance what the
consequences are for inappropriate behaviors
online. I will make the consequences clear,
concise, age appropriate, and consistent.
• If my child continues to break rules concerning
technology after we have discussed and agreed
upon them, I will take away their devices until
their behavior changes or until a time I deem
necessary. I recognize that a child having smart
devices such as phones and tablets is a privilege
and not a right. I will emphasize this to them
when allowing them to have the device.
... set and explain reasonable rules and
expectations for technology use ...
CHILD TECHNOLOGY
AGREEMENT
• I will give my parents all of my current user • I understand that I am allowed to use my
names and passwords for all devices, apps, devices for __________ hours a day, and that all
social media, and websites, but will not share technology must be turned off or turned in to
them with anyone else. If I change a user my parents by __________ (time) and can not be
name or password, I will inform my parents turned back on or used again until __________
immediately and make sure they always have (time). I acknowledge that this is not up for
up-to-date information. debate or negotiation.
• I will not share personal information about • I will help my parents understand the devices
myself or my family with anyone on apps, and apps I use, and will honestly answer the
social media platforms, websites, or any other questions they have about my activity on
technology. This includes but is not limited to the devices, apps, social media platforms, or
names, addresses, phone numbers, ages, name websites I use.
of school, name or location of work, etc. Also, • I understand that my device is privilege and
I will not include any of this information in my not a right, and acknowledge that my parents
social media profiles. have the right to monitor my device use and
• I will have open conversations with my parents online activity.
about people I meet via apps, social media • I understand that if I break any of the rules that
profiles, websites, or other technology. my parents have outlined for me, they can take
• I will not accept friend requests, follows, away any of my technology at any time, as well
subscriptions, text messages, direct messages, as enforcing other correction and consequences
chat requests, video messages, Snaps, emails, until my behavior changes or they decide it is
or phone calls from people I do not know. time to restore my device use.
If I receive any form of communication that
makes me uncomfortable or concerned, I will
immediately inform my parents.
• I will not message, call, chat with, write to, or meet
in person with anyone I’ve met online without
direct permission from my parents, and then only
if they accompany me. Nor will I do what people
on apps or social media ask me to do without
expressed permission from my parents.
• I will not send or post threatening, hateful,
inappropriate, or explicit messages, videos,
or pictures, even if I believe they will not be
seen by others.
... have open conversations with my
parents about people I meet via apps ...
CREATE A FAMILY PREVENTION
AND INTERVENTION PLAN
Use these guidelines to create your family’s plan. Customize, modify, or edit the
suggestions to meet your family’s needs, principles, values, and living situation.
Be Consistent
• Create and enforce consistent rules for • M
odel the same behaviors you want to see
technology use: apps they can and can not in your child
use, who they can have as friends/followers/
subscribers, who they can talk to, how much
time can be spent using their devices, and
where their devices are to be used.
Communicate
• Be intentional about talking with your child
regarding healthy social media use. Create
regular opportunities for a two-way dialogue.
They are likely to encounter concerning
situations on apps and social media platforms
multiple times, therefore your conversation on
the topic shouldn’t just be a one-time talk.
• Share real-life examples of unsafe online
behavior and its consequences. • E
at a meal as a family consistently at least five
days a week. Research has shown that regular
• Listen more than you speak. Let them express family dinners without electronic distractions
their thoughts, feelings, opinions, and can reduce risky behavior by youth. If family
experiences. If they feel they are genuinely meals are not possible, set aside other regular
being heard, they will feel more comfortable time weekly to engage in an activity together
opening up to you. that lends itself to open conversation and
active listening.
• Role play scenarios with your child to allow
them to practice dealing with potential social • A
nswer your child’s questions honestly at an
media situations. age-appropriate level
Promote Healthy Behaviors and Self-Care
• Teach your child strategies to handle stress in a • R
ead notMYkid’s blog entry on helping
positive manner stressed teens
• Encourage your child to engage in healthy • E
nsure that your child is getting sufficient sleep,
behaviors such as music, writing, art, sports, exercise, nutrition, and time outdoors.
exercise, faith, helping others, etc.
• M
aintain healthy limits on electronic use or
• Support them in the activities that they enjoy “screen time” by your childCREATE A FAMILY PREVENTION AND INTERVENTION PLAN
Educate Yourself
• Research online. Get familiar with apps and • B
e able to recognize the signs of unsafe
social media sites popular with youth and the online behavior.
potential dangers.
• L
earn current terminology, slang, and emojis.
Know what they mean.
Deter
• Block access to unsafe apps, social media • S
et your child’s social media accounts to private
platforms, websites, and technology. or “friends only.”
• Become your child’s friend, follower, or • D
o not allow your child to use their real name
subscriber on their social media accounts. online. Encourage use of a pseudonym.
Monitor
• R
equire devices be used in common areas of • C
onsider the use of parental control and
the house such as a kitchen or living room. monitoring software such as Bark. (Use code
NOTMYKID for 30 days free)
• K
now your child’s online friends, followers, and
subscribers. Ask questions about those who • D
ocument and keep records of any
concern you. cyberbullying or sexual solicitation your child
encounters on their devices.
• B
e aware of what your child is saying, posting,
and sharing online.
Educate Your Community
• E
ducate your friends, family members,
and other parents on strategies related to
preventing unsafe social media use.
• E
licit the support of family, friends, coaches,
religious leaders, community members, etc. to • E
ncourage members of your community to
help prevent unsafe online behavior. create their own prevention plans as well
Get Connected
• If you discover that your child has been member will contact you. You can also call
behaving unsafely online, get connected with notMYkid’s office at (602) 652-0163.
a behavioral health professional or agency
for guidance and assistance. You can contact • V
isit our resource and support page to find
notMYkid by texting the word “QUESTION” to information on parent control and monitoring
our assistance line at (602) 584-8474. You’ll apps, and reviews of apps popular with youth.
be sent a form to fill out and a notMYkid staffRESOURCES AND SUPPORT
FOR SAFE SOCIAL MEDIA USE
Parental Monitoring and Control App Reviews, Ratings,
Apps/Software and Warnings
Bark (use code “NOTMYKID” for 30 days free) Smart Social
Qustodio Common Sense Media
WebWatcher Family Education
Net Nanny SaferKid
FamilyTime Protect Young Eyes
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