Essay Writing: Developing Academic Writing Skills in English

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Essay Writing:
 Developing Academic Writing Skills in
               English

                 Catherine Schwerin

                    Designed for use in the
              obligatory academic writing courses
            in the second module of studies at the

Institut für Anglistik und Amerikanistik
          Universität Hamburg
                    Von-Melle-Park 6
                    20146 Hamburg
                        Germany

                    ©1999 Catherine Schwerin
                Catherine.Schwerin@uni-hamburg.de

                 Second revision © October 2007

Essay-writing brochure                              © 2007 Catherine Schwerin                              IAA Universität Hamburg

                                                             Contents
Contents ...................................................................................................................................... 1
Essay Checklists ......................................................................................................................... 1
Sample Essays ............................................................................................................................ 1
Before you begin ........................................................................................................................ 2
Parts of an Essay ........................................................................................................................ 5
Introductions............................................................................................................................... 6
Body ........................................................................................................................................... 6
Conclusions ................................................................................................................................ 7
Organising Principle ................................................................................................................... 7
Developing a Paragraph ............................................................................................................. 9
TV Step 1: Preparing ................................................................................................................ 13
TV Step 2: Brainstorming ........................................................................................................ 14
TV Step 3: Organising and Adapting ....................................................................................... 15
TV Step 4: Final Plan ............................................................................................................... 16
Media Violence Step 1: Preparing ........................................................................................... 21
Media Violence Step 2: Brainstorming .................................................................................... 22
Media Violence Step 3: Organising and Adapting................................................................... 24
Media Violence Step 4: Final Plan ........................................................................................... 26

                                                   Essay Checklists
Checklist: Procedure .................................................................................................................. 3
Standard Essay Outline .............................................................................................................. 8
Readership, content and style ................................................................................................... 18
Some Useful Links ................................................................................................................... 32

                                                     Sample Essays
Sample essay on Paragraphs .................................................................................................... 11
Sample Essay on Paragraphs: examination of structure........................................................... 12
Simple Essay: The Importance of Television ......................................................................... 19
Complex Essay: Violence in the Media ................................................................................... 29

                                                                        1

Essay Writing

Before you begin
Essays are instruments of communication. Your essay should be a structured treatment
of a particular topic, presented in a standard form and in a readable, fluent and logical
manner. Your essay is a tool that communicates your ideas (though of course you may be
talking about other people’s ideas or even quoting them) and should reflect your
interest in the topic. Being able to write essays is an essential skill in your studies and
forms the basis of all academic writing. However, to make the most of your essay, there
are some things to remember:

Check, check, and check again! Develop the text in stages of writing,
revising and rewriting. This ensures that the final version of the text flows
logically and communicatively towards its conclusion and that unintentional
hiccups and breaks in style do not occur.

Write from the perspective of the reader. In this manner, aspects of
register and style remain more consistent.

Plan well and be clear about your topic. Lay the thought basis of the
completed text in the introduction, develop the ideas in the body and tie these
ideas together in the conclusion.

Later you may be writing texts other than essays, so you will also have to pay
attention to additional features. Research papers, for example,
characteristically have headings, deal with many aspects of a particular theme in
some detail, and will use references, frequently in the form of footnotes or
endnotes, to relate the contents to the academic context in which the knowledge
has evolved. For this sort of writing you will also need to consult a style manual
such as the MLA Style Manual to help you.

Let's begin now by looking at a checklist of the general procedure for planning and
writing an essay. Then we will examine the different parts of an essay before turning to
look at how to write one in more detail.

Checklist: Procedure
Taking a systematic approach to essay writing ensures that you thoroughly develop the
necessary skills for a meaningful and well-balanced piece of writing. Practise following
the steps outlined here. Examples will be provided in the following sections.

1. Preparing:

 What is the general subject?
 What is the specific purpose of the essay?
 Formulate a preliminary thesis statement if possible at this stage

2. Brainstorming:

 Write down all the ideas related to your topic, including seemingly bizarre
or outlandish ones.
 Allow your thoughts free range - you can include sketches, diagrams,
tables if necessary.

3. Organising and adapting:

 Choose the elements relevant to the specific purpose of your essay and
arrange them in thematic groups and these in turn in logical steps.
Discard those ideas which do not relate to your purpose.
 Adapt the subject to your own sphere of interest and knowledge.

4. Gather material:

 Information on your subject.
 Quotes, examples that illustrate certain points, references.

5. Make a logical outline:

 Plan the structure of your essay, keeping in mind the main purpose. It may
help to refer to the essay outline template provided in the following
pages. Your outline will serve as a kind of check-list to consult while you
are writing.
 Note the sub-elements under each particular section heading.
 Modify the outline so that it indicates thesis statement, topic sentences
and supporting points

6. Check outline

 Check topic sentences against thesis statement
 Check supporting points against topic sentences

7. Write according to your outline:

Essay-writing brochure            © 2007 Catherine Schwerin       IAA Universität Hamburg

             At this stage you are more or less "padding out" your outline. You expand
              each section heading, fill in the details, provide examples or descriptions,
              connect the ideas logically.
             Who are your readers? This will influence your choice of style and your
              approach.

   8. Check 1st draft:

             Check against outline to ensure you have covered all points.
             Check grammar and spelling.
             Check logic (within the sentence, between the sentences, in relation to
              the topic sentences, in relation to the thesis).
             Check flow (Do the ideas flow or jump around? Is it readable? Is it easy
              to follow?)
             Is the style and the approach appropriate for your target group?

   9. Revise draft:

             And check again!

   10. Write the final version.

                                             4

Parts of an Essay
Essentially an essay consists of three major parts:

the introduction

the main body

the conclusion

Each of these parts has a function.

The introduction is intended to lead the reader into the topic and clarify what
the essay will specifically deal with. It usually consists of one paragraph, but this
depends on the length of the essay and the amount of background information
the context requires. The introduction will contain a key sentence (or, if
necessary, more than one) that represents the thread running through the whole
essay. This sentence is called the thesis statement.

The main body deals with the major ideas that support the thesis statement.
Each main idea is presented in a separate paragraph (“one notion, one paragraph”)
and developed with supporting ideas in the form of explanations, definitions, or
similar, and illustrated with examples where appropriate or necessary.

The conclusion brings the reader back to the purpose of the essay and draws all
the points together before making a final comment on the result of the
discussion/argument. Often this final comment will point towards some
consequence the discussion may have for the future or make some observation
about what the discussion has revealed on a general level.

Ultimately an essay will show a progression from a general level (in the introduction)
down to the specific (thesis statement and body) and back up to the general level again
(conclusion). The reader will be expecting this so it gives your essay a sense of
completion.

Introductions
The introduction lays the basis for the whole of the rest of the essay. It should tell
the reader about the topic and how the topic will be dealt with. However, an abrupt
statement of the topic and the controlling idea makes the readers feel uncomfortable
and does not give them time to warm up to the topic. Therefore it is best to lead in to
the topic by making a general statement about it, then narrowing the topic down before
dealing with the issue itself.

Note: Unlike the German “Aufsatz”, the English essay requires that you take a
standpoint at the beginning of the essay so that the reader knows what he is to expect.
English essays are "reader friendly" and guide the readership through the
argumentation. Do not leave the reader guessing about your opinion until the conclusion.
This gives the English-speaking reader the feeling that you weren’t sure about your own
opinion and that the essay was not sufficiently planned. This means your thesis
statement must clearly show your position on the topic.

Make a general statement about your topic

Narrow down the topic to lead towards your theme

State the issue/question you are dealing with

State your thesis/ controlling idea for the whole essay

Body
The body of the essay will contain several paragraphs, each dealing with one major idea
that supports the thesis statement. The major idea for the paragraph is given in a topic
sentence and all the other sentences in the paragraph are linked to this idea in some
form or another. The paragraphs should also contain a transition between the ideas, i.e.
moving from the introduction to the first topic sentence and between the body
paragraphs. This can be done in sentences or with individual words such as discourse
markers (“linking words”).

Topic sentence

Supporting ideas

Examples

Conclusions
In the conclusion you are drawing your ideas and observations together to make your
final point. Do not be afraid if it seems like you are repeating your ideas. It is part of
the task to remind the reader of your aims and your main discussion points. This
clarifies your purpose. However, do not just repeat word-for-word what you have said
before. Contextualise what you are saying.

Remind the reader of your topic and intention

Show the reader how the discussion has underlined this aim (in a way you are
summarising the topic sentences of the developmental paragraphs here)

State your perspective as a result of the discussion

Sum up the whole concept, e.g. by stating what this may mean for the future

Organising Principle
You can use the standard outline on the following page as a framework when preparing
for most kinds of essays. It may have to be varied according to the organising principle
and the aim involved, but serves as a solid basis.

The organising principle is the logic according to which you put together your ideas.
Your choice of organising principle will depend on the effect you want to achieve and
the expectations of your readership. For instance:

Organising principle Possible effect
Least important to most Climb in tension to “climax”;
important point dramatic
Most to least important The readers are confronted with the
most convincing point at the outset;
memorable
Chronological Narrative effect; familiar structure,
easy to follow and remember
Reverse chronological Depending on focus, can highlight an
issue of change; contemplative

Standard Essay Outline
You can use the following as a checklist. Remember: while you are writing always
consider your readership and your aims. In the body you will need to have a clear
organising principle.

Introduction

1. Introduce general topic
2. Narrow down topic
3. Restate question
4. State thesis (controlling idea)

 There are, of course other ways of approaching the lead-in to the issues in
the essay. For instance, you could start by introducing the opposite viewpoint
(e.g. Many people believe that television is beneficial) and arrive at your
standpoint by pointing out that you do not agree with the other view and
indicate why (However, the harmful effects of television far outweigh its
benefits), which is then expanded in the essay.

Body (consisting of several developmental paragraphs)

Each paragraph consists of:

1. Topic sentence (topic and controlling idea)
2. Supporting ideas
3. Details

 Facts, data, quotes
 Examples
 Description
 Explanation
 Comparison, etc.

Conclusion

1. Restate thesis (topic focus and controlling idea of essay)
2. Synthesise the main ideas of the developmental paragraphs (restate topic
sentences)
3. State your opinion/ preference; give solution; make prediction...
4. Final statement (summing thought). This rounds off the essay and brings it back
to a general level.

Developing a Paragraph
Your essay will consist of a series of paragraphs. Each paragraph is made up of a set of
related sentences all connected with a single idea and (apart from the introduction and
conclusion, because their purpose is slightly different) is constructed according to
similar principles. In order to effectively convey your ideas, each paragraph should
contain certain features. It should have a topic sentence, follow a single idea, be
appropriately developed, and be cogent. In addition, there is a formal feature to
consider: paragraphs in printed publications or in handwritten texts generally have an
indented first line to clearly indicate where it begins (thus clearly identifying it as a
unit). In some forms of writing, for example business letters, paragraphs are indicated
by leaving a line before and after. The preferred form for academic writing is
indentation. In any case, this formal feature helps the reader identify and process the
ideas.

1. The topic sentence:
A topic sentence indicates what idea or argument the paragraph is going to deal with.
For academic writing it is most effective if the topic sentence is the first sentence of
the paragraph because it makes it easier for the reader to follow the argumentation
without having to do additional processing. If you are not yet used to writing in English
or are in general an inexperienced writer, it is better for you to place your topic
sentence at the beginning of the paragraph.

2. One paragraph, one notion:
Your paragraph should focus on the idea set out in the topic sentence. You should not
introduce other ideas or go off on a tangent. If you have finished an idea, you begin a
new paragraph. If your discussion of one idea is going to be lengthy, subdivide your
paragraph into two or more sub-notions and link them with new topic sentences / linking
sentences.

3. Sufficient development
The idea you introduce with your topic sentence should be sufficiently “fleshed out” to
get across your idea properly. The way you do this in each paragraph may vary,
depending on what you aim to achieve, for instance you might use examples, give
definitions, provide data, refer to other authors or quote them, outline causes and
effects, compare and contrast, summarise or explain.

4. Cogency:
This refers to clarity of thought and argumentation. It is the result of writing
coherently and cohesively. It makes the paragraph fluent, logical, and easily
understandable. This means putting the ideas in a logical order and using strategies of
linking them up. You can do this using:
logical bridges:
• The same idea of a topic is carried over from sentence to sentence
• An idea is built on from one sentence to the next

Essay-writing brochure         © 2007 Catherine Schwerin         IAA Universität Hamburg

   grammatical structures:
   • Successive sentences can be constructed in parallel form
   • Successive sentences can be constructed inversely.
   linguistic bridges:
   • Repetition of key words over several sentences
   • Use of synonyms throughout the paragraph
   • Pronouns and deictic terms to refer back (or forward) to nouns or whole ideas in
       other sentences
   • Lexical phrases and conjunctions can be used to link ideas from different
       sentences or indicate attitude

On the following pages you will see an example of an essay based on some of the
information you have been given so far - an essay about essays. This is followed by an
analysis of its structure. Then I lead you through two essay-writing tasks, one on the
importance of television and the other on violence in the media, which both conclude
with sample essays.

                                           10

Sample essay on Paragraphs

An essay is an instrument of communication. It is a structured treatment of a
particular topic, presented in a standard form and in a readable, fluent and logical
manner. To write a cogent and communicative essay, you must master the structure of
its building blocks, its paragraphs. Paragraphs are expected to have certain
characteristics and the paragraphs in the different sections of an essay fulfil
particular functions to provide a well-rounded essay. Firstly, the essay begins with an
introduction, a paragraph which tells the reader what the essay is about and how the
information will be presented. Then, paragraphs which support and develop the idea
presented in the introduction form the body of the essay, and finally, the concluding
paragraph brings all these parts together again.
The introductory paragraph lays the basis for the whole of the rest of the
essay. It should tell the reader about the topic and how the topic will be dealt with.
However, an abrupt statement of the topic and the controlling idea makes the readers
feel uncomfortable and does not give them time to warm up to the topic. Therefore, it
is best to lead into the topic by making a general statement about it, then narrowing the
topic down before dealing with the issue itself. The key element in the introduction is
the thesis statement, which provides the focus for the rest of the essay and is usually
found at the end of the introduction.
The introduction is followed by the developmental paragraphs, each of which
deals with one major idea that supports the thesis statement. The major idea for the
paragraph is given in a topic sentence, which, in an academic essay, is usually at the
beginning of the paragraph. This topic sentence states the topic (i.e. who or what) and
indicates the controlling idea (i.e. how, when, where, why, etc.). All the other sentences
in the paragraph are linked to this idea in some form or another. Since all the
paragraphs (specifically, the topic sentences) in an essay should support the thesis
presented in the introduction, you can say that the structure of a paragraph is a mini
reflection of the structure of the essay.
Finally, in the concluding paragraph, you draw your ideas and observations
together. You remind your reader of your aims and your main supporting arguments,
synthesising them (not repeating them verbatim) to make your final point. What seems
obvious to you may no longer be obvious to the reader, so it is part of the task to
clarify your overall purpose here and arrive at a final conclusion.
Thus, although all the paragraphs in an essay will essentially follow the “one
notion, one paragraph” principle, they will vary in character according to the function
they serve, i.e. whether they are introductory, developmental or concluding paragraphs.
They will also share the character of linking the ideas within and between them. And
when the paragraphs fulfil the requirement of supporting the thesis as they should, you
will find you have a readable, clear and well-rounded essay.

Sample Essay on Paragraphs: examination of structure
Introductory paragraph: An essay is an instrument of communication. It is a structured
• General lead-in to treatment of a particular topic, presented in a standard form and in a
topic readable, fluent and logical manner. To write a cogent and communicative
• Narrowing focus essay, you must master the structure of its building blocks, its
• Particular issue paragraphs. Paragraphs are expected to have certain characteristics
• Thesis (claim) and the paragraphs in the different sections of an essay fulfil
• General indication of particular functions to provide a well-rounded essay. Firstly, the essay
line of discussion begins with an introduction, a paragraph which tells the reader what the
essay is about and how the information will be presented. Then,
paragraphs which support and develop the idea presented in the
introduction form the body of the essay, and finally, the concluding
paragraph brings all these parts together again.
First developmental The introductory paragraph lays the basis for the whole of
paragraph: the rest of the essay. It should tell the reader about the topic and how
• Topic sentence the topic will be dealt with. However, an abrupt statement of the topic
• Supporting ideas and the controlling idea makes the readers feel uncomfortable and does
(expalanation and not give them time to warm up to the topic. Therefore, it is best to lead
outline) into the topic by making a general statement about it, then narrowing the
• Idea linking to next topic down before dealing with the issue itself. The key element in the
step introduction is the thesis statement, which provides the focus for the
rest of the essay and is usually found at the end of the introduction.
2nd developmental The introduction is followed by the developmental paragraphs,
• Phrase linking to each of which deals with one major idea that supports the thesis
previous paragraph statement. The major idea for the paragraph is given in a topic sentence,
• Topic sentence which, in an academic essay, is usually at the beginning of the paragraph.
• Supporting ideas This topic sentence states the topic (i.e. who or what) and indicates the
(details of features) controlling idea (i.e. how, when, where, why, etc.). All the other sentences
• Parallel as example in the paragraph are linked to this idea in some form or another. Since all
the paragraphs (specifically, the topic sentences) in an essay should
support the thesis presented in the introduction, you can say that the
structure of a paragraph is a mini reflection of the structure of the
essay.

3rd developmental Finally, in the concluding paragraph, you draw your ideas and
paragraph: observations together. You remind your reader of your aims and your
• Linking word main supporting arguments, synthesising them (not repeating them
• Topic sentence verbatim) to make your final point. What seems obvious to you may no
• Explanation longer be obvious to the reader, so it is part of the task to clarify your
overall purpose here and arrive at a final conclusion.

Concluding paragraph: Thus, although all the paragraphs in an essay will essentially
• Linking word/signpost follow the “one notion, one paragraph” principle, they will vary in
• Reminder of thesis character according to the function they serve, i.e. whether they
• Reference to main are introductory, developmental or concluding paragraphs. They will
points also share the character of linking the ideas within and between them.
• Bringing reader back And when the paragraphs fulfil the requirement of supporting the thesis
up to general level of as they should, you will find you have a readable, clear and well-rounded
the topic and context essay.
concluding remark

TV Step 1: Preparing
Deciding on your thesis and approach

Simple example: We can’t live without television

Very often the topic you will be writing on is already set, in which case the approach is
relatively clear. However, sometimes you most respond to a question or a statement.
This means you have to examine the question or statement carefully.

What are the key words?

What is the general topic area?

What issue/problem is it focusing on?

Is it formulated in a provocative way? Will I have to relativise it or put it into
perspective?

What is my view of the topic? Do I agree or disagree with the view
presented? To what extent?

For the sake of simplicity, let us imagine you have been asked to write in response to
the statement:

We can’t live without television.

The key words are “television” and “we” and “can’t live without it”. “Television” is the
general topic. “We” suggests it is a social phenomenon. And “can’t live without it”
suggests a dependency. The last phrase is emotive and perhaps too categoric. What are
we really talking about? Perhaps whether television is really important in our lives. What
do you think? Is television important? Is it beneficial? Or is it rather a problem?

If you are not sure yet what you would like to focus on, it would be best to brainstorm
the topic and then decide. Brainstorming is a strategy that you can use during most
steps of your writing, especially if you find your ideas running low.

If you already have an idea of where you stand, you can loosely formulate a preliminary
thesis statement, which will be your guiding thought throughout the essay. This need
not be your final thesis statement but it clarifies what you intend to show in your essay.
This is important so that you maintain a consistent line in your discussion and because it
needs to be made clear in the introduction what you intend to do in your essay. Once you
have formulated an initial thesis statement, your next step will be focused on
brainstorming the aspects of this.

We will proceed as if you were not entirely sure of your view.

TV Step 2: Brainstorming
Collecting ideas and formulating / refining a thesis

Simple example: We can’t live without television

If you are not sure yet what you would like to focus on, it is best to brainstorm the
topic to get some ideas and then decide. Brainstorming is a strategy that you can use
during most steps of your writing, especially if you find your ideas running low.

When you brainstorm an idea, you collect ALL the ideas you can think of which relate to
the topic, directly or indirectly. Let the ideas flow as rapidly and spontaneously as
possible, and do not worry about the order or the value of the ideas. Our example will
remain with the subject of television:

TV guide Education News Advertisements

Entertainment Instruction Documentaries Up-to-date

Information Cartoons Sports Technology

Weather Films Violence Sound

Everywhere Small world Colour Picture

There are two main groupings we can identify: types of programmes (sports, news,
films...) and what TV can offer (entertainment, education...). A focus you could choose
based on the latter grouping would be:

How big a role television plays in our daily lives.

Now it is time to formulate a preliminary thesis statement, that is, a statement
outlining what you want to show in your essay. This statement clarifies what you intend
to show in your essay. For this topic your preliminary thesis statement could be
something like the following:

Television is important for our society today.

Once you have settled on your focus, you can use the ideas you have already collected,
or brainstorm further with the focus in mind. The next step is to sort out and select
the ideas you will be using.

Essay-writing brochure              © 2007 Catherine Schwerin       IAA Universität Hamburg

                  TV Step 3: Organising and Adapting
                         Selecting and Organising the relevant ideas

                     Simple example: We can’t live without television

Now organise and select the ideas you will use for the essay.

   •    Which ideas can you leave out?
   •    Which ideas belong together?
   •    Can you organise them under one heading?
   •    Is there more than one way to group the ideas?

In order to avoid rewriting at this point, you can use symbols or highlighter to group the
ideas:

       TV guide              Education              News               Advertisements

   Entertainment             Instruction            Documentaries      Up-to-date

   Information              Cartoons                Sports             Technology

 Weather                    Films                      Violence        Sound

 Everywhere                     Small world         Colour             Picture

  Knowledge of the          School                  Vivid images       Realism
world                     programmes

The symbols stand for the following ideas:

  What TV offers

 Types of programmes

  Method

 Character of content

       Ideas I think I don’t need

Now you can decide on the structure your essay will take.

                                               15

Essay-writing brochure          © 2007 Catherine Schwerin            IAA Universität Hamburg

                           TV Step 4: Final Plan
                         Devising a final outline of the structure

                     Simple example: We can’t live without television

This is the point where the ideas should be organised into the final framework you will
use to guide you in your writing. You may wish to look at the outline template
beforehand to assist you.

Here is a final overview of the ideas that will be presented in the essay. First, I
decided to leave out the paragraph on methods because it does not fit the main topic so
well. Second, I have changed the order of the ideas so that they flow more logically.
Finally, I have added the outline of an introduction and a conclusion to round off the
plan.

NOTE: As a rule, the introduction and the conclusion can only be planned AFTER you
have planned the body of the essay, since you cannot introduce the argumentation if you
have not planned it, and by the same token, you cannot conclude/draw the ideas
together if you do not know what they will be. Thus, I only made the outline of the
introduction and the conclusion after I had finished making the outline of the body.

                             The importance of television

Introduction
   • TV common in households
   • Can’t imagine no TV
   • TV important for us today (thesis)
   • TV can serve many purposes; offers variety of valuable programmes and content
      (reasons and guide to reader)

Body
1) Variety of programmes
    • Weather
    • Cartoons
    • Films
    • School programmes
    • News
    • Documentaries
    • Sports
    • Advertisements

                                            16

Essay-writing brochure           © 2007 Catherine Schwerin      IAA Universität Hamburg

2) Informative content
    • Up-to-date
    • Realism
    • Accessible (Everywhere)

3) TV offers us other benefits
    • Entertainment
    • Information
    • Education
    • Instruction
    • Knowledge of the world

Conclusion
   • Value of range and form of TV content, many purposes
   • Types of programmes, character of content, what TV offers
   • TV is an integral and vital medium today
   • TV can contribute positively to society in education and awareness

Now you can begin writing the essay following your outline. Look at the comments on
readership before you begin. If you like, you can look at another, more complex example
first in the sections following Sample Essay 1, focusing on the topic Violence in the
Media.

                                            17

Readership, content and style
Addressing the reader appropriately

It is important to write your essay with your readers directly in mind. Address them with the
words you write. It will help to ask yourself the following questions before you begin:

Who are my readers?
Are they specialists or non-specialists in the subject?
What are they likely to know about the topic already?
What will they want to learn from me?

What is their attitude likely to be?
How can I maintain the attention of those who have little interest?
What aspects of the subject may be of particular importance to them?
Will it be more appropriate to be personal or impersonal in approach?

Opening
Introduce topic as if the title doesn't exist (who, what, how, when, where, why).
Try to arouse the readers' interest (e.g. question, anecdote).

Save formal introductions for long and complex reports or investigations

Main Body
Deal with each point systematically

Avoid unnecessary explanations and indirect approaches as these destroy the impact.

Be simple and direct.
Do not over-generalise. You will only undermine your own credibility.

Provide examples, descriptions, explanations, personal experiences (if appropriate).

If necessary, make footnotes or endnotes. Indicate sources (see MLA citation style
at http://www.liunet.edu/cwis/cwp/library/workshop/citmla.htm ).

Conclusion
Recap all the main points and draw them together to support the point you wish to
make

If necessary, point out what direction your conclusions may lead for future
discussion.

Simple Essay
The Importance of Television

To show how the outline fits with the essay itself, I have placed each paragraph next to
a basic general outline. The points follow in the same order.

Outline Essay
Introduction Today it is very common in
1. Introduce general topic (TV) industrialised countries for a household to
2. Narrow down topic (household without have at least one television. In fact, it is
TV?) so common that it is difficult to imagine a
household without TV. This shows just
3. Focus on thesis (TV important)
how significant television is to us, but we
4. Reasons and reader guide (valuable
can see that its importance is far greater
programmes, content, purposes)
than just being an object we own if we
look at the variety of programmes and
valuable content it offers and the
purposes it serves in daily life.

Body: developmental paragraph 1 (Variety First of all, there are many different
of programmes) types of programmes on television that
1. Topic sentence (topic and controlling are useful. The viewer can watch a
idea: many programme types) weather report to prepare for the day.
2. Supporting ideas (list some types) Cartoons and sport provide relaxation and
fun. School programmes, documentaries
3. Details (function)
and the news teach us about the world.
And advertisements inform us about
products and new ideas.

Body: developmental paragraph 2 Secondly, the content is relevant
(Informative character of content) because it is realistic and up to date. As
1. Topic sentence (topic and controlling TV is a medium that combines moving,
idea: what makes content attractive) colour images and sound, it resembles real
2. Supporting ideas (realistic, etc.) life, so the viewers can identify with what
they see. Furthermore, modern technology
3. Details (value for viewers)
means that the content is up to date, for
example, news reports can be broadcast
live and from all over the world. This
means that information is available almost
anywhere at any time.

Body: developmental paragraph 3 (serves Finally, TV can be used to enhance
many beneficial purposes in daily life) many important aspects of everyday life.
1. Topic sentence (topic and controlling People seek entertainment and
distraction, and TV can give us that in the

Essay-writing brochure          © 2007 Catherine Schwerin       IAA Universität Hamburg

   idea: how does TV meet peoples needs) form of films or cartoons. People want
2. Supporting ideas (people’s needs)     education, information and instruction
3. Details (specific functions)          because they are inquisitive and like to
                                         learn. TV gives us these in documentaries
                                         or educational programmes, in reports or
                                         cultural magazines. People enjoy
                                         creativity, and TV gives us that in the
                                         work of all the people involved in creating
                                         clever film scripts, effective scenery,
                                         witty dialogues or magnificent camera
                                         shots. TV gives us the world, other
                                         cultures, other people, languages and
                                         ideas. It introduces us to knowledge.

Conclusion                                     As we have seen, television offers us a
1. Restate thesis (controlling idea of      wide range of valuable programmes and
   essay: valuable programmes, content,     content and serves many purposes in our
   purposes)                                daily lives. Television not only provides
2. Restate each topic sentence from         many types of programmes with
   developmental paragraphs (programme      interesting and broad content, but also
   types, character of content, what TV     serves to fulfil our needs in terms of
   offers)                                  entertainment and knowledge. It is far
                                            more than just an object we own. It is an
3. State your opinion/ preference; give
                                            integral and vital medium today, which can
   solution; make prediction... (TV vital
                                            contribute positively to the education of
   and integral)
                                            society and to people's awareness of
4. Final statement (summing thought:
                                            others.
   education, awareness )

                                            20

Media Violence Step 1: Preparing
Identifying the topic and the task

Complex example: Violence in the Media

Most of the time your essay will be based on a prescribed topic. If you have a question
or a statement requiring a response, you will need to read the question carefully and ask
yourself 2 main questions:

What is it about?
What am I expected to do?

To ensure you identify the whole task, underline the key elements and, if necessary,
number them. Look at the following task, which is based on a past TOEFL writing test
question:

Task: Violence in the media has been blamed for the rising incidence of
crime in our (western) society. However, many people disagree that
violence in society can be related to violence in the media. Discuss the
possible reasons for both points of view and give your own opinion as to
whether or not violent programs should be censored.

So proceeding step by step we ask ourselves:

What is it about?

The question is about VIOLENCE IN THE MEDIA.

What am I expected to do?

1. Discuss reasons for both points of view.
a. Media violence is the cause of violence in society
b. Media violence is not the cause of violence in society
2. My opinion of censorship question

Now you can formulate a preliminary thesis statement. In this case, your preliminary
thesis statement may be something like the following:

There are two sides to the question of whether media violence causes
violence in society, both of which have strong arguments. However,
censorship is a dubious solution which will cause its own problems.

Once you are clear about what the question requires of you, you may begin
brainstorming your first ideas.

Essay-writing brochure             © 2007 Catherine Schwerin        IAA Universität Hamburg

              Media Violence Step 2: Brainstorming
                           Complex example: Violence in the Media

You have now identified the topic and the task you are expected to carry out: At this
stage you should write down as many ideas on the topic you can think of. Limit yourself
to 4 or 5 minutes. If you have difficulty starting, it is often helpful to start by asking
and answering the following basic questions:

What is meant            Media = TV, radio, Internet, newspapers, magazines,
by...?                   books...

Who                      Esp. children affected; programmers who decide, ...

What                     Crime, blackmail, theft, even murder, particularly gruesome
                         acts

How                      Desensitising, bad examples, ...

When                     Now

Where                    Europe, America

Why                      Shown as normal, social problems, children copy 'heroes',
                         TV ubiquitous

This will help us think of concrete examples and reasons when we are developing our
essay, and provide a basis for more encompassing comments.

In addition in this case, as the question already indicates three major areas, it will help
if we collect the ideas under each area:

                                               22

Essay-writing brochure          © 2007 Catherine Schwerin         IAA Universität Hamburg

Media cause of violence     Media NOT cause of           Censorship
                            violence

Accent on violence in       Social pressures             Who should decide?
news
                            Arbitrary release of         What will be censored?
Children copy               aggressive feelings
                                                         What else might go?
Violent cartoons            TV educational
                                                         Broadcasting controls
Heroes violent              Individualism and
                            materialism                  Change channels
Heroes outsiders
                            Lack of parental help        Critical viewing
Ideas for crime
                            People can't cope            Education of viewers
Lack of positive example
                            Unable to find help          Viewers can switch off
Lower threshold
                            Unemployment                 TV entertaining
Sensationalism

Include all the ideas you think of even if they seem far-fetched to begin with. You may
be able to use these ideas later to give your essay an unusual perspective. Note any
examples or anecdotes which may occur to you, or even diagrams or sketches. Current
events may also provide illustration for your topic, for example, the spate of school
children running amok with weapons in the United States is a topical illustration for this
essay.

If you run out of ideas and feel what you have is not sufficient, focus on one of the
sub-points and work on from there. You can also try simple word association to set you
on track again.

Once you have gathered enough ideas, move on to step 3: organising and adapting.

                                             23

Media Violence Step 3: Organising and Adapting
Collating, selecting and organising the material

Complex example: Violence in the Media

Please note, the time you spend on planning and the amount of detail you include will of
course depend on constraints such as time or space placed on the essay. This essay is
being planned in greater detail than you may be required to use. However the
framework of your essay will emerge from the time you allot to your planning. Our 2nd
sample essay here consists of a relatively high degree of detail since we are moving
step by step through the task. To begin with we have our topic and task:

VIOLENCE IN THE MEDIA

1. Discuss reasons for both points of view.
a. Media violence is the cause of violence in
society
b. Media violence is not the cause of violence
in society
2. My opinion of censorship question

I have gathered a number of ideas in table form since a general grouping was apparent
from the start. Now organise and select the ideas to be used for the essay.

• Which ideas can you discard?
• Which ideas belong together?
• Can you organise them under one heading?
• Is there more than one way to group the ideas?

A Media cause of violence B Media NOT cause of C Censorship
violence

Accent on violence in Society to blame Who should decide?
news
Arbitrary release of What will be
Children copy aggressive feelings censored?

Violent cartoons TV educational What else might go?

Heroes violent Individualism and Broadcasting controls
materialism

Heroes outsiders Lack of parental help Change channels

Ideas for crime People can't cope Critical viewing

Lack of positive Unable to find help Education of viewers
example
Unemployment Viewers can switch
Lower threshold off

Sensationalism TV entertaining

Evidence not
conclusive

These are categorised in the following way:

A Media violence is to blame:

1. Violence is normal
2. Violence is entertainment
3. Negative example only
4. Children particularly susceptible

B Media violence not to blame:

1. Social pressure/ social change to blame
2. Individual inability to cope
3. Parental guidance lacking

C Should there be censorship?

1. Problems
2. Alternatives
3. Individual behaviour
4. Additional considerations

This is merely one approach to grouping the ideas that can be used for this material.
You may prefer a different method or include other ideas, but once you have reached
this stage, the next step is to plan the outline.

Media Violence Step 4: Final Plan
Complex example: Violence in the Media

Let us reconsider the question:

Question: Violence in the media has been blamed for the rising incidence
of crime in our (western) society. However, many people disagree that
violence in society can be related to violence in the media. Discuss the
possible reasons for both points of view and give your own opinion as to
whether or not violent programs should be censored.

We have identified the main elements:

VIOLENCE IN THE MEDIA

1. Discuss reasons for both points of view.

a. Media violence is the cause of violence in
society
b. Media violence is not the cause of violence
in society

1. My opinion of censorship question

Moreover we have formulated a preliminary thesis statement:

It is now necessary to collate the ideas you sifted through in the organising stage and
set them out in a logical order, making alterations and additions where necessary. The
introduction will largely be based on the question, the task identification and the thesis
statement. The conclusion will refer back to these and the main points of the body
before making a final pronouncement. Thus our outline could take the following form:

A Media violence is to blame:

Violence is presented as normal or even entertainment

a. Violence in news, cartoons, films, radio, papers. Films without violence or
weapons rare
b. Violence is a source of 'humour' (children's cartoons)
c. Yellow press/ reality TV present sensationalism as pseudo-information

d. Many musicians and songwriters glorify/condone violence in their lyrics
and performances

Negative example is not balanced by a positive view

a. 'Heroes' are frequently violent, take law into own hands, outsiders
b. Lack of positive examples
c. Violence is frequently presented as the only solution to a problem

Result

a. Threshold to committing violence lowered
b. People get ideas for crime from film, newspapers
c. Children are particularly susceptible - cannot distinguish between reality
and fantasy
d. Children copy dangerous and unacceptable behaviour and learn
unacceptable values

B Media violence not to blame:

Social pressure and social change to blame

a. Pressures of modern society: unemployment, homelessness, pressure to
succeed, lack of perspective for young people
b. Individualism and materialism leave emotional emptiness
c. Responsibility shirked

Individual inability to cope

a. Inability of individuals to cope with new social and economic situations
(divorce, workplace pressures
b. Inability to seek/find help
c. Aggressive feelings vicariously released

Parental guidance lacking

a. Parents do not supervise children enough: emotional and moral guidance
lacking
b. Parents do not guide their children's TV viewing habits or taste in
entertainment
c. People should question and be critical

C Should there be censorship?

Problems of censorship

a. Who will be responsible for censorship?

Essay-writing brochure         © 2007 Catherine Schwerin         IAA Universität Hamburg

          b. Who will decide what will be censored?
          c. What if censors overstep their responsibilities or interpret their task
             too strictly?

Alternatives

          a. Define content appropriate for particular broadcasting times - and
             enforce!
          b. Educate the viewers to be selective, critical
          c. Encourage writers and programmers to offer other more balanced
             content

Individual behaviour

          a. Encourage viewers to show their viewing desires by switching off or
             changing channels if they disapprove of the programmes
          b. Point out to people that they as consumers (e.g. by buying trashy
             newspapers) are responsible for content

Additional considerations

          a. No conclusive evidence that the media is responsible for violent behaviour
          b. Media may reflect life rather than life the media

Now you can begin writing the essay following your outline. Look at the comments on
readership that follow and refer to the essay outline given at the beginning to help you
write.

                                           28

Complex Essay
Violence in the Media

In recent years we have witnessed an alarming increase in the crime rate, especially
among young people. We have been left shocked and at a loss to find explanations for
why teenagers rob and blackmail, why young people commit physical violence, why
children become murderers. Some people place the blame on the way violence is
represented in the media and, as a consequence, demand that there should be stricter
controls, or even censorship, put in place. However, this way of dealing with the problem
is not undisputed. It is necessary to take a closer look at whether or not violence in the
media really is responsible for this development and then to examine what censorship
may entail before taking such a far-reaching decision, as it may, in fact lead to more
problems rather than providing solutions.

Many concerned people, ranging from worried parents through to reputable
psychologists, deplore the ever-present nature of violence in the media, claiming that
this is the reason why people are increasingly prepared to commit violent acts. They
argue that violence is being propagated as normal or even entertaining. Violence is in the
newspapers, on the news, in film plots and in cartoons. Violence is a source of laughter in
children's programmes; films present it as staple fare; it is served as pseudo-
information in sensation-hungry newspapers and on reality TV; and it is even glorified by
some musicians in their lyrics and performances. In fact in the public domain, it is
difficult to find material that is not linked to violence in some form.

Those who are worried by this development also point out that the negative examples
provided by the media are not balanced by a positive view. Criminals are often seen as
daredevil and debonair or are presented so as to arouse sympathy. The so-called
'heroes' in TV series and films, be they Dirty Harry, the Power Rangers, Butch Cassidy
or the Mighty Ducks, are frequently violent and tend to take the law into their own
hands. Not only this, the situations are often so contrived that the hero apparently has
no other choice but to turn to violence to solve his problem. Thus, success in media
terms means achieving a goal by means of violence and crime, so people naturally see
this means as an acceptable alternative for achieving what they want too.

Since the media depicts violence as a normal state of affairs and an acceptable
problem-solving option, this is seen as inevitably leading to a lowering of the threshold
to committing violence and crime. It does not stop here, for film, television and the
popular press even offer ideas for ways to commit crime and violent acts. Indeed, the
detail given and emotional involvement evoked in film in particular even provide ideas as
to how to carry out certain crimes. A prime example is the recent report of the high
school massacre in Littleton in the United States, where the teenage killers wore
trench coats and mowed down their victims in a manner reminiscent of scenes from a
popular film. The teenagers and children of today are immersed in the media, and
children above all are particularly susceptible to its influence, as they are not yet in a
position to be able to distinguish adequately between reality and fantasy. They grow up
experiencing violent acts being committed daily in cartoons, in films and on the news, so
it is not surprising if they believe that violent behaviour is normal behaviour. They copy

this dangerous and unacceptable behaviour and assimilate dangerous and unacceptable
values.

Nevertheless, there are voices which challenge the assumption that violence in the
media is the cause of increased violence in society. They would say that society itself
was to blame as a result of the social pressure and social change people must face.
Modern society subjects individuals to an array of pressures such as the lack of
perspective for young people, the threat of unemployment or homelessness, as well as
the necessity to succeed in economic terms and terms of status. Furthermore, there is
a lacking sense of responsibility and a tendency to pass the blame. Individualism and
materialism leave little room for the fulfilment of emotional needs.

This situation is coupled with the inability of the individuals themselves to cope with
new social and economic situations such as divorce or the changing demands of the
workplace. Once caught up in a cycle of strife, people frequently find themselves unable
to seek or find help. They are trapped in an anonymous and seemingly uncaring world. As
a result, feelings of frustration, despair or aggression build up until they can no longer
be contained and are then suddenly, horrifically and vicariously released.

There is also the suggestion that the society 'outside' is not the only source of
concern, that in fact a great deal of blame lies at the feet of thoughtless or
irresponsible parents. Parental guidance is said to be lacking because parents do not
supervise their children enough to guide their emotional and moral development. Very
often the much-berated media is employed as a babysitter: TV and video games keep
the children and teenagers occupied and out of the way. What is missing is the shared
experience, the guidance in viewing habits and taste in entertainment, and the critical
discussion and explanation of what the children have encountered in the media. Parents
must teach their children to question what they see and hear and be there for them.

So in all of this, is there a need for censorship in the media? The question of
censorship raises a number of problems. Decisions would need to be made as to just who
would be responsible for carrying out the task and in what form. Would it be the task
of one person or a committee? Who would have the right - or the privilege - to be
represented on a committee of this nature? The range of groups who would wish for a
say extends from parents through church groups to the media representatives
themselves, and this would clearly present a tug-o-war on many levels of interest: moral,
educational, economic, aesthetic, and exploitative, to name a few. In addition, there is
no guarantee that the criteria for determining the suitability of content nominated by
this committee would better protect viewers than the arbitrarily functioning dynamics
currently operating. In fact, there may be a need to set up controls to regulate what
will happen if censors overstep their responsibilities and interpret their task too
strictly or even irrationally. Indeed, this raises a further question: who would be the
one to censor the censors?

There are certain alternatives to the extreme of censorship. Rather than rigidly
setting up regulations to be strictly enforced, media groups could be encouraged to
establish a code of practice. In addition to this, programmers need to define the

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