You're going to be OK - The Mental Health Issue - Inside this issue - Chicago Reader
←
→
Page content transcription
If your browser does not render page correctly, please read the page content below
this issue
Inside
You’re going to be OK
The Mental Health Issue
F R E E A N D F R E A KY S I N C E 1 9 7 1 | O C TO B E R 1 5, 2 02 0
THIS WEEK C H I C AG O R E A D E R | O C TO B E R 1 5, 2 02 0 | VO LU M E 5 0, N U M B E R 2
IN THIS ISSUE TO CONTACT ANY READER
EMPLOYEE, E-MAIL:
MENTAL HEALTH Black Lives Matter protests.
(FIRST INITIAL)(LAST NAME)
@CHICAGOREADER.COM
12 Changing the Conversation
Black and trans activists build THEATER PUBLISHER TRACY BAIM
networks of support and mutual aid 48 Dance At 25, Deeply Rooted still EDITORS IN CHIEF SUJAY KUMAR, KAREN HAWKINS
at Brave Space Alliance. celebrates community. INTERIM CREATIVE LEAD AMBER HUFF
CREATIVE LEAD RACHEL HAWLEY
50 Air Plays Radio plays resurrect MUSIC EDITOR PHILIP MONTORO
old stories to shed new light on THEATER AND DANCE EDITOR KERRY REID
dystopia. CULTURE EDITOR BRIANNA WELLEN
ASSOCIATE EDITOR JAMIE LUDWIG
51 Halloween Theater artists create SENIOR WRITERS MAYA DUKMASOVA, LEOR GALIL,
weird tales for our times. Arkestra, Sumac, Loraine James, DEANNA ISAACS, BEN JORAVSKY, MIKE SULA
the Twilite Tone, and more. EDITORIAL ASSOCIATE S. NICOLE LANE
FOOD & DRINK FILM 64 Chicagoans of Note Jumaane
GRAPHIC DESIGNER KIRK WILLIAMSON
LISTINGS COORDINATOR SALEM COLLO-JULIN
05 Restaurant Review Bokuchan’s 52 Screen in Place What to stream Taylor, tap dancer and founder of SOCIAL JUSTICE REPORTING
ghost curry holds up in transit. at the Chicago International Film the Jazz Hoofing Quartet FELLOW ADAM M. RHODES
CONTRIBUTORS ED BLAIR, NOAH BERLATSKY,
06 Food Feature Fill up with the Fest 67 Early Warnings Rescheduled LUCA CIMARUSTI, MARISSA DE LA CERDA, MARI
Comestible 7-Day Meal Plan, a concerts and other updated listings COHEN, NINA LI COOMES, JOSH FLANDERS, SHERI
manifesto of ecological cooking. 14 You’re Going to be OK 67 Gossip Wolf A tribute single for FLANDERS, JACK HELBIG, IRENE HSAIO, BECCA
JAMES, CATALINA MARIA JOHNSON, MONICA
Dealing with health anxiety during drummer Bill Rieflin benefits the KENDRICK, STEVE KRAKOW, NOËLLE D. LILLEY, MAX
COVID and beyond cancer center that treated him, and MALLER, ADAM MULLINS-KHATIB, J.R. NELSON, JEFF
47 Virtual Counseling Therapy new rap projects drop from activist NICHOLS, MARISSA OBERLANDER, ARIEL PARRELLA-
AURELI, KATHLEEN SACHS, CATEY SULLIVAN
patients go digital. Mohawk Johnson and experimental ----------------------------------------------------------------
duo Angry Blackmen.
DIRECTOR OF DIGITAL JOHN DUNLEVY
SOCIAL MEDIA COORDINATOR JANAYA GREENE
OPINION STAFF AND SPECIAL PROJECTS
68 Savage Love Dan Savage offers ASSISTANT TARYN ALLEN
advice to a woman whose dead STRATEGIC INNOVATION DIRECTOR MARIAH NEUROTH
MUSIC & NIGHTLIFE husband’s DMs are filled with sexts. DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR COLETTE WILLARD
56 Galil | Feature In the high- MEDIA PARTNERSHIPS COORDINATOR YAZMIN
speed world of hyperpop, Fraxiom CLASSIFIEDS DOMINGUEZ
EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT SANDRA L. KLEIN
NEWS & POLITICS became a star in months—and their 70 Jobs MEDIA PARTNERSHIPS AND DEVELOPMENT
08 Joravsky | Politics Vote yes on joyfully messy style could propel 70 Apartments & Spaces ADVISOR ABHIMANYU CHANDRA
SPECIAL EVENTS CONSULTANT KRISTEN KAZA
the Fair Tax to cut your taxes! them beyond that tiny scene. 70 Marketplace
10 Isaacs | Culture A new ARTS & CULTURE 61 Records of Note A pandemic ADVERTISING
biography takes a sympathetic 18 Artivism Latinx artists across can’t stop the flow of great music, ON THE COVER: ILLUSTRATION BY VALERIE 312-392-2970, ADS@CHICAGOREADER.COM
VON RUBIO. FOR MORE OF VON RUBIO’S CLASSIFIEDS:
look at the life of Edith Rockefeller Chicago have spent the summer and this week the Reader reviews WORK, GO TO VALERIEVONRUBIO.COM. CLASSIFIED-ADS@CHICAGOREADER.COM
McCormick. contributing their talents to the current releases by the Sun Ra
VICE PRESIDENT OF SALES AMY MATHENY
SALES DIRECTOR AMBER NETTLES
CLIENT RELATIONSHIP MANAGER TED PIEKARZ
SENIOR ACCOUNT REPRESENTATIVES
LENI MANAA-HOPPENWORTH, LISA SOLOMON
CLASSIFIED SALES MANAGER WILL ROGERS
THIS WEEK ON CHICAGOREADER.COM
NATIONAL ADVERTISING
VOICE MEDIA GROUP 1-888-278-9866
VMGADVERTISING.COM
JOE LARKIN AND SUE BELAIR
----------------------------------------------------------------
DISTRIBUTION CONCERNS
distributionissues@chicagoreader.com
312-392-2970
CHICAGO READER L3C
BOARD PRESIDENT DOROTHY R. LEAVELL
TREASURER EILEEN RHODES
AT-LARGE SLADJANA VUCKOVIC
CONSULTANT CAROL E. BELL
THE 501C3 FISCAL SPONSOR FOR THE CHICAGO READER IS
THE OAK PARK-RIVER FOREST COMMUNITY FOUNDATION.
Leslie Borns and the birds ‘We just want to go home’ Streaming this week ----------------------------------------------------------------
How one woman revived the CPD’s violent response to a The Trial of the Chicago 7 is a READER (ISSN 1096-6919) IS PUBLISHED WEEKLY
BY CHICAGO READER L3C
city’s most impressive natural student-led protest downtown timely look at the 1968 DNC 2930 S. MICHIGAN, SUITE 102 CHICAGO, IL 60616
312-392-2934, CHICAGOREADER.COM
ecosystem and what it says about this protests.
moment in our history COPYRIGHT © 2020 CHICAGO READER
PERIODICAL POSTAGE PAID AT CHICAGO, IL
2 CHICAGO READER - OCTOBER 15, 2020 ll
When A Great Deal Matters, Shop Rob Paddor’s...
Evanston Subaru in Skokie
TOGETHER,
00 0 0
% % 0% % %
WE CAN 63 MONTHS
ON NEW 2020’S
POWER
2021
THROUGH FORESTER OUTBACK LEGACY IMPREZA
ALL WHEEL DRIVE
ANYTHING.
SUBARU
CROSSTREK
1.9% FINANCING Evanston
Subaru
7-year/100,000-mile
powertrain warranty
•SiriusXM
•Starlink ®
ON
SAVE
w/ $0 deductible •Giant Selection CERTIFIED
•152-point inspection •Low rate financing PRE-OWNED
•24/7 roadside assistance NO •All-wheel-drive SUBARUS
Social Distancing & Face Masks will be
Required for all Customers and Employees
Voted “Best Auto DeAlership ”
By CHICAGO Voters’ Poll 2019
TOP-QUALITY INSPECTED USED CARS & SUV’ S
IMPORTS & DOMESTICS SUBARU FORESTERS
‘15 Nissan Murano Plat. AWD/Navi Leather, Blind Spot, Orange, 25148A ....$22,995 ‘18 Forester 2.5i ............................Automatic, Full Power, White, P6712 ....$20,995
‘17 Ford Escape S ........................Automatic, 1-Owner, 13K, Silver, 25199A ....$17,995 ‘15 Forester 2.5i ............................Automatic, Full Power, Blue, 25039A ....$15,995
‘14 Honda CR-V EX-L/Navi AWDAuto,. Sunroof, Leather, Coffee, 25008A ....$16,995 ‘11 Forester Touring ..........Auto. Leather, Sunroof, 61K, Silver, 25092A ....$11,995
‘16 Chevy Equinox LT AWD ............Automatic, Full Power, Silver, 23539A ....$15,995
‘15 Honda Accord Hybrid EX-L ......Sunroof, Leather, 46K, Silver, P6650A ....$15,995 SUBARU OUTBACKS
‘17 Nissan Murano SV AWD............Auto., Full Power, Gun Metal, 25057A ....$15,995 ‘19 Outback Prem. ......................Auto., Eyesight, Alloys, Tungsten, P6486 ....$23,995
If you could use help with ‘15 Ford Escape Titanium ..........Automatic, Leather, Sunset Red 25109A ....$14,995
‘10 Honda CR-V EX-L AWD ............Auto,. Sunroof, Leather, Blue, 25195A ....$11,995
‘18 Outback Prem. ............................Auto., Eyesight, Alloys, White, P6653 ....$21,995
‘18 Outback 2.5i ..........................Auto., Eyesight, Full Power, Grey, P6740 ....$20,995
‘16 Outback Ltd. ........................Auto., Blind Spot, Leather, Silver, 25084A ....$19,995
your energy bill, there’s a way. ‘12 Toyota Camry LE ................Auto., Full Power, 1-Owner, Black, 25172A ....$10,995
To learn about financial A brighter ‘09 Toyota Camry Hybrid ..................Automatic, Full Power,, Grey, P6732 ......$8,995
‘09 Honda Accord LX ................Automatic, Full Power, 67K, Silver,25202A ......$8,995
‘09 Honda Civic Hybrid ............Automatic, Full Power, 58K, Pearl, 24842B ......$8,995
‘13 Outback Ltd. ........................Auto., Blind Spot, Leather, Silver, 25051A ....$14,995
SUBARU CROSSTREK / WRX / LEGACY
‘18 WRX Prem. ........................................ Manual, Lapis Blue Pearl, P6729 ....$25,995
assistance call 800-EDISON1 future ‘06 Toyota Corolla LE ....................Automatic, Full Power, 52K, Red, P6732 ......$7,995
‘06 Mercedes E350 4Matic/Navi. ................Leather, 67K, Silver, 25040B ......$7,995
‘09 Dodge Avenger SXT ..........Automatic, Full Power, 63K, Silver, 25125A ......$6,995
‘18 Crosstrek ................................ Manual, Full Power, 22K, Silver, 24879A ....$19,995
‘16 Crosstrek Prem. .................. Automatic, Heated Seats, White, 22950A ....$18,995
EvanstonSubaru.com
‘12 Ford Focus SEL ......................Automatic, Full Power, 61K, Red, 24646B ......$6,995 ‘18 Legacy Prem. ..............................Auto., Full Power, Alloys, Grey, 25012 ....$16,995
or visit ComEd.com/Support A+
today. RATED
3340 O -S • 847-869-5700AKTON KOKIE
*Add tax, title license and $300 doc fee. 0% financing for 63 months. Monthly payment of $15.87 per $1,000 borrowed.
Finance on approved credit score Subject to vehicle insurance and availability. Ends 10/31/20
ll OCTOBER 15, 2020 - CHICAGO READER 3
4 CHICAGO READER - OCTOBER 15, 2020 ll
FOOD & DRINK R BOKUCHAN’S | $
Inside Avondale Foods’s ghost kitchen
3517 N. Spaulding
Udon beef curry COURTESY SHIN THOMPSON
insulated delivery bags came in and out the
front door, signing in on keypads. A flatscreen
houses in New York and LA and figured he’d be scrolled orders as they were ready, and a
the first to bring it home. “I knew it was kind worker scrutinized each visitor’s phone before
of an obscure concept that not everyone would handing bagged orders under a plexiglass
necessarily be into or understand right away,” shield. North Pond it ain’t.
he says. “But I just didn’t see it here. And that Once I reached the comfort of my own kitch-
kind of motivated me.” en, I opened the bag and all the components
Further, while you can buy blocks of addi- of my order were packaged separately. The
tive-laden kare roux at Asian groceries and curries, speckled with add-ons, such as green
make it yourself (it is pretty irresistible), peas, enoki mushrooms, or charred broccoli,
Thompson and his girlfriend and business were steaming hot in tightly sealed jewel
partner, the chef Liga Sigal, wanted to make it boxes. Rice, shredded cabbage, and pickled
from scratch with wholesome ingredients. cucumber salad had their own containers,
He’d been pondering the idea before the while the cutlets remained hot and crispy, in
RESTAURANT REVIEW pandemic but wasn’t sure it was a sustainable ventilated packaging.
business on its own. In the spring, when most The Cheshire Pork tonkatsu kare is like a
Bokuchan’s ghost curry holds up in transit restaurants shut down, he began experiment- warm blanket, rich and gently spiced, while
ing with curries and planning his next move. the beef curry is deepened and darkened by
By MIKE SULA Thompson and Sigal developed a base the deglazed fond from super tender chunks
curry: vegetable stock thickened with blend- of Allen Brothers chuck roast. I didn’t try the
ed caramelized onions, shredded carrots, Chicken Kamikaze curry, loaded with haba-
I
n early March, Shin Thompson’s Furious most restaurateurs find themselves in. apples, garlic, and ginger—no flour, unlike nero-cayenne—the menu actually warns “DO
Spoon ramen minichain was humming, But contraction also presented him the most kare—seasoned with 23 spices including NOT ORDER”—but I did get some Kamizake
with five locations in the city and Evanston, opportunity to flex. As a kid, Thompson spent cumin, coriander, turmeric, fenugreek, cloves, paste on the side, which blew open my doors
and a new one set to open in Indianapolis. lots of time in Japan visiting family—he spent black cardamom, star anise, Sichuan pepper- of perception when applied to the last few
“And then all hell broke loose,” says the chef his first two years there. He grew up on the corns, and, of course, curry leaves. bites of the beef curry.
who earned a Michelin star at Logan Square’s country’s unique form of curry and rice, or Bokuchan’s (which roughly means “mama’s Apart from a matcha chocolate chip cookie,
Bonsoiree and went on to open the ambitious kare raisu, thick and enveloping, mild, sweet, boy’s,”) opened for business in a former Eagle it’s all curry, all the time at Bokuchan’s. There’s
but short-lived Kabocha, before turning to and warmly spiced, with fat chunks of meat, Insurance building next to the Avondale Jewel. a vegan curry, a baseline chicken curry, cur-
noodles in 2015. carrot, and potatoes, often topped with a The space, called Avondale Foods, is a two- ried udon noodles, and curried waffle fries. A
At first he took a stand against carryout. thick, crispy, panko-breaded, deep-fried pork floor, 42-kitchen shared space operated by few weeks ago there was a special squid curry,
The idea was to get in, slurp furiously, and or chicken cutlet. It’s among the first examples Cloud Kitchens, a startup founded in part by and last week there was a curry katsu burger.
get out. But demand was so high he devised a of yoshoku, or “Western food,” adapted to ex-Uber CEO Travis Kalanick (who resigned in That last item is a tell that Thompson isn’t
way to package all the components of a bowl Japanese tastes after Portuguese traders and 2017 amid a storm of scandal and crises). stopping at curry. He’s planning a series of
of ramen separately so they wouldn’t suffer on English merchants were first allowed into the I ordered a couple curries online with some independent ghost restaurants, maybe a Jap-
the trip home before assembly. country in the late 1800s. trepidation. Sure, curry will travel well, but I anese-style burger concept, or bento boxes. “It
It was a prescient adaptation, because Kare is ubiquitous in Japan but rare in the was worried about the bag life of the tonkatsu might take me a few months, but I definitely
even though he had to close three of his spots midwest. A handful of Japanese restaurants pork cutlet and the extra fried chicken cutlet have some ideas,” he says. “It’s all experimen-
in March, the Lakeview and Logan Square around town serve it, notably Tokyo Shokudo I’d ordered as a side with the beef curry. I tal right now, which is the fun part for me.” v
Spoons are doing relatively well with carryout at Mitsuwa Marketplace—but no one’s a spe- showed up a few minutes before the app
ramen, given the abhorrent circumstances cialist. Thompson looked at dedicated curry said my order would be ready. Drivers toting @MikeSula
ll OCTOBER 15, 2020 - CHICAGO READER 5
Search the Reader’s online database of
FOOD & DRINK thousands of Chicago-area restaurants
at chicagoreader.com/food.
Breakfast cereal with mealworms from
Comestible 7-Day Meal Plan COURTESY PAT BADANI
when inspiration struck for her best known
work. “I was depressed, angry,” she says. “I
was an immigrant. I was feeding a child. She
was going to school. I didn’t know the lan-
guage well. I couldn’t help her. I was making a
pizza one day and I don’t know what took over
me.”
She draped the raw dough she’d been rolling
over one of the wide bowls the French drink
coffee from and put it in the oven on medi-
um-high. “There was no explanation for it.”
But when she took it out, “the whole experi-
ence was sensual,” she says. “The smell of it,
holding this bowl in my hand. I compulsively
started doing this every day.”
Over a couple months she began stacking
the bowls and photographing them, building
towers until she could envision a cityscape of
bread. Her tiny Parisian oven couldn’t meet
the demand, so she walked over to the neigh-
borhood boulangerie and asked to use the
oven.
The bakery, as it turned out, was the legend-
ary Poilâne, then under its second-generation
master baker Lionel Poilâne, who’d famously
collaborated with Dalí to sculpt an entire
bedroom suite out of sourdough. “He said,
‘I love the idea. You have my bread. You have
my ovens. You have my bakers. The only rule
is you have to get along with my bakers.’ He
FOOD FEATURE probably thought I would be there for what? A
month?”
Fill up with the Comestible 7-Day Meal Plan Over three years Badani and five of Poilâne’s
bakers created thousands of bread bowls,
cups, and platters that she went on to exhib-
It’s a manifesto of ecological cooking. it in the form of sculptures of interlocking
pieces, sprawling skylines, and notably, long
By MIKE SULA snaking ropes placed as figurative borders in
lonely outdoor landscapes that would eventu-
ally be eaten by animals and degraded in the
elements.
P
at Badani’s seven-day meal plan in- she’d just been making a “huge” salad for lunch. “We talked and talked, and drank and Badani came to Chicago 20 years ago to earn
cludes a recipe for greens that calls for lunch that she planned to eat with some lentils drank, and everything went on until very late, her MFA at the School of the Art Institute, and
“a measure of moral evaluation.” She cooked in homemade vegetable stock. and everybody went home and started their she’s been based here ever since. And it was
recommends that, on day two, readers serve a “My kitchen is important,” she says. “That Monday-to-Friday ritual.” here, in 2010, at the dawn of the Camera Eats
particular protein when “the wriggling stops.” is, in fact, where I get all my ideas.” Comestible At 15 when she left behind the similarly First age, that she began posting photographs
On Tuesday, when it’s time for “Cultures and 7-Day Meal Plan: Food as Text, an “ecological communal Argentine meatfests known as of her food to her year-old Facebook account.
Ferments,” the directions read: manifesto” she published in July, is the latest asados (and quit eating beef), her father was She’d recently adopted a raw food diet to
“1. Forsake the moldy drama cultivating in permutation of a project she began 2010—in transferred to Peru. She studied art at the help tackle some health issues and began plat-
the shower curtain. her kitchen. University of Alberta—lots of oil money al- ing her meals in accordance with the freestyle
2. Brine your sauerkraut on a sea voyage. She connects her attraction to the most lowed students to work with holograms in the method she prepared them with. “You put col-
3. Consume with a glass of ocean.” popular room in the house to her childhood 70s—and embarked upon a career that took ors and textures together because intuitively
Badani is an Argentinian-born artist who growing up in a large Italian family in Buenos her around the world during which her work you understand that these things are gonna be
makes her home in Rogers Park, where her Aires that gathered each Sunday after church frequently employed food as both subject and good for you. So it’s not following a recipe. It’s
kitchen doesn’t serve as her studio but it’s cer- when she and her two brothers helped their material. following what your body is telling you.”
tainly her muse. When I reached her by phone Nonna roll out and shape the gnocchi before She was down and out in Paris in the 90s Vivid, meticulously composed arrange-
6 CHICAGO READER - OCTOBER 15, 2020 ll
FOOD & DRINK
Don’t
C H I C AG
O’S FRE
E WEEK
miss
SINCE 1 LY
971 | MA
26, 202 RCH
0
an S T AY A
T HOM
issue
E
Get the Next 12 Issues of the Chicago Reader
Delivered to Your Home
Comestible: 7-Day Meal Plan began life as a series of popular social media posts. COURTESY PAT BADANI
chicagoreader.com/support
ments of sprouted lentils, shredded carrots, (Saturn, Saturday) stands in for every food
and rice noodles, or stripes of mung bean jelly neuroses humans have suffered since Adam
and vegetables sprinkled with baked green choked on the apple Eve gave him.
pepper seeds began to solicit recipe requests A breakfast of crunchy mealworms with SECURE, QUIET & EXTRA CLEAN 7-Story
from her Facebook community and demands almonds, cherries, and pumpkin seeds (Moon, Building
for a book. Monday) accompanies a list of insects eaten ∙ Loyola University ∙ Thorndale Beach
She had no intention of writing a cookbook, around the world, assigned to contemporary ∙
but she did start thinking about the way artists chefs who’ve dabbled in edible arthropods. ∙ Whole Foods ∙ Mia Francesca ∙ all ste
have used food to promote political and social “You have these new chefs creating these ps away
movements, particularly in the case of The yummy looking recipes for the contemporary
Manifesto of Futurist Cooking by noted Italian foodie, whereas in most cultures these ways ✶ Heat & Electric included in rent
protofascist Filippo Tommaso Marinetti.
“I wanted to go in another direction and say,
of eating have been incorporated for millen-
nia.”
✶ Laundry in Building
‘This is food. This is how it affects us socially, Badani raises a lot of issues in the book: ✶ Bike Storage
and this is what you can do through food to sustainability, accessibility, food safety and
✶ Furnished Lobby with Secured Entry & free WIF
change the present and affect the future.’” insecurity, and culture, but it’s peppered with I
The book took shape in a few iterations over absurdities; a Marinetti for the natural world. ✶ On-Site Engineer
the years, but eventually Badani wanted to Not to give too much away, but “Icky Miss
produce something affordable (the paperback Muffet” ends up eating the spider, and “lost
✶ Cats OK
goes for $24.99 on Amazon). lovers use rooftop-grown greens to detox their
It’s seven chapters over 86 pages in which livers of failed relationships.” SEVERAL UNITS AVAILABLE!
her manipulated food photos take the form “Most manifestos are dead serious,” she
of celestial representatives of the days of the says. “Recipe books have a very authoritative
$850 rent - first month half price!
week. The aforementioned mung bean ar- tone, too. I’m not redoing Marinetti because $275 move-in fee, no security deposit
rangement is Mercury—Thursday—which is I’m absolutely not promoting what he’s pro-
titled “Liberalized Trade.” The dish’s straight moting. But he was outrageous. They were all
stripes of brightly colored vegetables also outrageous. They used humor to shock people FOR MORE INFORMATION
assume the form of an antiflag with “no rec- into action. And that is something I really do (773) 396-6785 ✶ AffordableEdgew
ognized constitution” that is forbidden to be enjoy.” v ater.com
printed on the side of a coffee mug. At the end AffordableKenmore
of the week a bloody smear of pomegranate @MikeSula
ll OCTOBER 15, 2020 - CHICAGO READER 7
NEWS & POLITICS
Under Governor Pritzker’s plan, gazillionaires
would have a higher tax rate than poor journalists
like yours truly. COURTESY PRITZKER CAMPAIGN
featuring Frerichs. The conversation turned to nothing to do with taxing retirement income.
the Fair Tax. It doesn’t even mention retirement income.
Apparently, trying to find some common The anti-referendum crowd sorta just, you
ground with the Chamber crowd, Frerichs know, made it up. Like Trump made it up when
opined that the Fair Tax might move the state he said he had a cure for COVID-19 that he’s
closer to slapping a graduated income tax on going to give to everyone—for free.
retirement income, like pensions. Currently, ’Cause that’s how Republicans roll. They
the state does not tax retirement income of just make stuff up as they go along. On the
POLITICS any kind. grounds that—if the public’s dumb enough to
“One thing a progressive tax would do is believe made-up stuff, why not just keep on
The argument for self interest make clear you can have graduated rates when
you are taxing retirement income,” Frerichs
said. “And, I think that’s something that’s
making stuff up?
Now Fair Taxers are starting to panic—as
in, holy shit, that dumbass Phyllis commercial
Vote yes on the Fair Tax to cut your taxes! worth discussion.” may kill the Fair Tax by getting geezers to vote
Oops. This, my friends, is what people in against their own self interests.
By BEN JORAVSKY sports call an unforced error. Like, to give you That brings us to the real diabolically evil
one recent example, when Markieff Morris part of this tale. If the Fair Tax goes down,
threw the ball out of bounds in the closing sec- Pritzker will have to raise taxes to pay our ob-
I
f Democrats only played the game of at the same rate. And that it’s far more effec- onds of last Friday’s Lakers/Heat game for no ligations for things like pensions. Only instead
politics like Republicans, the Fair Tax tive and socially equitable to create a higher apparent reason, other than—hey, let’s throw of having a higher rate for Kenny G, we’ll all be
Amendment would probably pass by an rate that Kenny G can more than afford. the ball out of bounds and see what happens. hit at the same rate.
overwhelming majority. Governor Pritzker got the General Assem- A mistake that would have been compound- So instead of paying less, I’ll be paying
Man, if Democrats played the game like bly to put on the ballot a referendum that, if ed if, in the postgame interviews, Morris more. Thanks for nothing, Phyllis.
Republicans, they wouldn’t even call it the Fair approved by at least 60 percent of the voters, felt compelled to weigh in on the need to tax And Kenny G will be laughing all the way to
Tax Amendment. would raise the tax rates on people like Kenny retirement income in Illinois. the bank—’cause the $47 million he donated to
They ’d call it the—Cut Your Taxes G. And cut them on me! Anyway, Frerichs’s comments were dutiful- kill the Fair Tax will probably be offset by the
Amendment! The Democratic brain trust called it the Fair ly quoted in the Daily Herald newspaper. Then money he saves by not paying a higher rate.
Alas, my beloved Democrats don’t play Tax—on the grounds that the way to move the they were picked up by the Illinois Policy Insti- Hey, no one said Kenny G was dumb.
the game like Republicans. Republicans play masses is to appeal to fairness and decency. As tute—a right-wing outfit—under the headline: And then you watch—in a year or two,
nasty, and Dems play nice. And that’s why an though that’s ever happened anywhere at any Be scared, geezers, be very scared! Kenny G and his rich right-wing pals will
amendment may be defeated by the very vot- time. That wasn’t the real headline, but you get finance a campaign to cut pensions. ’Cause
ers whose taxes it would cut. If nothing else, they figured it would pass the idea. these guys hate pensions almost as much as
OK, let’s break it down . . . because it’s an election year and, well—who’s And so, the matter sat, ’cause—it was the they hate paying taxes.
Government’s not free. It costs money to going to be paying attention to something as pandemic. We had other things on our minds. And so, retirement incomes really will be
pave roads, put out fires, pay pensioners, run boring as the Fair Tax referendum when Don- There were protests in the streets. affected. And the Unfair Taxers will have suc-
schools and hospitals, and so forth. nie’s on the ballot? Except for policy wonks Then in September, Kenny G donated $20 cessfully scared pensioners into cutting their
To raise that money, the state taxes your like me and Eric Zorn. million to the Coalition to Stop the Proposed own throats.
income. But we have law baked into our con- And then two bad things happened. One— Tax Hike Amendment. A few weeks later he So, Dems, my advice is to switch your mes-
stitution mandating a flat tax. state treasurer Michael Frerichs opened his kicked in another $26.7 million. sage. Instead of appealing to fairness, appeal
That means broke-ass Reader writers— mouth and inserted his foot. And, two, Kenny Suddenly, the Unfair Taxers had enough to self-interest.
yours truly—pay at the same rate as gazillion- G opened his wallet and doled out almost $50 money to air a commercial featuring Phyllis, Vote yes to cut your taxes!
aires like Ken “Kenny G” Griffin, the far-right million to the Unfair Taxers, aka the anti-Fair a senior citizen from Park Ridge who warns Is the message accurate? It’s a hel-
hedge-fund operator who’s the richest man in Tax movement. that the amendment might give “Springfield luva lot more accurate than the Phyllis
the state, with a fortune of roughly $15 billion. Let’s deal with Frerichsgate first . . . politicians” new “powers to increase income commercial. v
For years, lefties have argued that it’s unfair It was June. The Des Plaines Chamber of taxes on anyone, including retirees.”
to tax the Kenny Gs and Benny Js of the world Commerce was having its monthly meeting, None of which is true. The referendum has @bennyjshow
8 CHICAGO READER - OCTOBER 15, 2020 ll
o
routes in chill cycling
the Wind
y City
By John G
Illustrate reenfield
Store
d by Joe
Mills
Shop the Reader
chicagoreader.com/store
ll OCTOBER 15, 2020 - CHICAGO READER 9
NEWS & POLITICS
COURTESY SOUTHERN ILLINOIS UNIVERSITY PRESS erally turned her back on a plan submitted by
Frank Lloyd Wright. Meanwhile Edith adorned
herself with jewels that included Catherine
the Great’s emeralds and a $2 million string
because her story “mirrored my own (minus of pearls, rationalizing her lifelong spending
the jewels, the collections, the millions).” orgy as “the woman of wealth . . . only doing
The common ground Ross found—with her duty” by putting her money into circula-
a character who’d be a great fit for Donald tion. Ross, sympathies notwithstanding, nails
Trump’s cabinet—is a personal evolution this as “trickle-down economics at its finest.”
from the self-effacing supporting role of wife Edith promptly produced two sons, fol-
and mother to, in effect, becoming the star lowed by three daughters. But two of the
of one’s own show. Edith, born to Standard children died in childhood: firstborn son
Oil founder John D. Rockefeller and his wife, Jack at the age of three, and infant middle
Cettie, in 1872, made this transition at a time daughter, Editha. Ross writes that after these
when the demand for women to conform to losses, Edith, “uncomfortable with emotion
their inequitable existence was rigid, and Ross by nature,” drew “further back into her shell,”
admires her for it. “Her gradual awareness eventually suffering panic attacks in addition
of the boundaries imposed upon her is a case to an increasingly severe chronic agoraphobia.
study in women’s rights,” she writes. Harold, with two siblings diagnosed as schizo-
The result is an unsparing but sympathetic phrenic (T. C. Boyle’s Riven Rock is a fictional
take on a woman previously best known for version of the life of Harold’s younger brother,
her extravagant wardrobe, palatial homes, Stanley), checked himself into the Swiss psy-
imperial manner, and philanthropy, includ- chiatric hospital that would soon be the home
ing support for James Joyce while he wrote base for Carl Jung.
Ulysses, and donation of the land on which On April 1, 1913, Edith—two of her children,
Brookfield Zoo was built (to avoid paying taxes assorted staff members, and Jung himself in
on it, but still). tow—sailed to Europe where she would em-
Also, an eight-year sojourn with Carl Jung, bark on a lengthy course of treatment at his
and the widely publicized monkey-gland viril- clinic. She would also pay for the translation
ity implant undergone by her (then-former) of his work into other languages, underwrite
husband. the Zurich facility that’s still a hub for his fol-
Edith was John D. Rockefeller’s fourth lowers, and, eventually, be “anointed” (Ross’s
daughter. (The son he was hoping for arrived word) by Jung as an analyst herself.
two years later.) In spite of her father’s enor- When she returned to Chicago in 1921, she
mous wealth, the children were raised—first was in the midst of a divorce that turned out
in Cleveland, later in New York—in a strict, to be very expensive for her, in spite of the fact
sober, and frugal Baptist environment. Edith, that it was her husband who wanted it, having
the smartest and most studious of her sib- abandoned her for an aspiring opera singer.
lings, rejected both the religion as practiced (Did I mention that, in happier days, they’d
and the frugality. given Chicago its first opera company?) His
When she wed Harold McCormick in 1895, legal team included Clarence Darrow. She was
newspapers across the country trumpeted accompanied on this return trip by a young
CULTURE the merger between the “Prince of McCor- male friend whom she would soon bankroll
mick Reaper” (soon to become International in a real estate development company that
Poor little rich girl Harvester) and the “Princess of Standard
Oil.” Harold, never her intellectual equal, was
a happy-go-lucky extrovert to Edith’s deep
boomed and then went bust in the Great De-
pression, taking thousands of small investors
down with it.
A new biography takes a sympathetic look at Edith Rockefeller McCormick. thinker. Ross speculates that, for the bride, a Edith died of cancer in the Drake Hotel in
major upside of the wedding was, at last, the 1932, so broke and indebted her body laid in
By DEANNA ISAACS freedom to spend. the vault at Graceland Cemetery for years be-
And spend they did, buying a no-lon- fore her surviving son arranged for her to be
I
ger-extant 41-room mansion at 1000 Lake buried near the lake there—where she can still
t’s common knowledge, though not com- Edith Rockefeller McCormick, admits this to Shore Drive, close to the mansion of Harold’s be found, flanked by her two dead babies.
monly admitted, that biographers tend her readers right up front. During the decade parents. (You can still visit the latter if you This is fascinating, stranger-than-fiction
to identify with their subjects. Local au- of research and writing that went into Edith: hurry—it houses the soon-to-close Lawry’s Chicago history, and a page-turner. Can’t wait
thor Andrea Friederici Ross, who’s writ- The Rogue Rockefeller McCormick (Southern restaurant.) They also built and furnished for the miniseries it’s sure to inspire. v
ten a deeply researched, briskly readable Illinois University Press), Ross says in her an even bigger summer home in Lake Forest,
account of the life of Chicago grande dame preface, Edith became an obsession, in part opting for an Italian-style villa after Edith lit- @DeannaIsaacs
10 CHICAGO READER - OCTOBER 15, 2020 ll POETRY CORNER
It was all a Dream / I Used to Read Word Up! Magazine
By Dan “Sully” Sullivan
5WRRQTVKXG #HHKTOKPI CPF )QCN
&KTGEVGF 2U[EJQVJGTCR[ CPF
*[RPQVJGTCR[ HQT #FWNVU
On Friday night we hit up a house party & rapped of kitchen halogen & took in my white-heat
in Sarah’s finished basement. Mike didn’t drink. temper. The next night, we were driving around
.QECVGF KP &QYPVQYP 'XCPUVQP When some kid fell off the stationary bike at 2 AM, bored & young, so I started snatching
I watched Mike lift him into a cab to get him up traffic cones & orange-rhythmed barricades,
home safe. Afterward, Dave said we gotta get shoved them in my trunk, headed down Oak Park
BG Fries & we did. I screeched out the parking Avenue & rerouted the stoplight at Jackson
lot at Sub Tender in my ’93 Saturn SL2 like right near the Eisenhower. Dave said, Nah &
a jackass. The rubber burned the whiteness stayed in the car the whole time. Mike laughed
off pavement lines. That officer must have been
Don’t
on beat & staccato, but he got leads in school
waiting for some after school special to do plays so knew when to act. I yelled Wutang
something because he followed us all the way suburba streetlight & Dave just
into the still suburban
miss
to Noodles & Company before the lights lit shook his head. I thought it was dope how he
us up. I got off with a warning but I was salty would quote Ghost Dog & tell me to drink
all night–Two black kids & a white kid driving. more tea. Mike rocked Raekwon on the tape
an
Of course he’s gonna pull us over. Racist cop. Like, deck in my car but I knew he knew all the words
ca have Black friends in my car. Can’t just
I can’t to Seasons of Love from Rent too. I would say
let us live. The word us floating from my tongue, listen to this Eyedea joint. Like, I could see
issue
easy. Mike & Dave stood in my parents’ kitchen myself in the white rappers. They liked it. I think.
when I said it. Said I hate what cops think of Black
folks. Black friends in a white suburb. I mean, what
else could it be. They stood patient in the alien
Dan “Sully” Sullivan holds an MFA/MA from Indiana University. His first book of poems, “The Blue Line Home” was published by EM-Press in 2014.
“Respect the Mic: Celebrating 20 Years of Poetry from a Chicagoland High School” edited by Hanif Abdurraqib, Franny Choi, Dan “Sully” Sullivan,
and Peter Kahn is forthcoming from Penguin Workshop.
A biweekly series curated by the Chicago Reader and sponsored by the Poetry Foundation. This week’s poem is curated by poet Tara Betts. Tara
Betts is the author of two poetry collections, Break the Habit, Arc & Hue, and the forthcoming Refuse to Disappear. She also co-edited The
Beiging of America and edited a critical edition of Philippa Duke Schuyler's Adventures in Black and White. In addition to her work as a teaching
artist and mentor for young poets, she's taught at prisons and several universities, including Rutgers University and University of Illinois-Chicago.
In 2019, Tara published a poem celebrating Illinois' bicentennial with Candor Arts. Tara is the Poetry Editor at The Langston Hughes Review and
the Lit Editor at Newcity. Betts is currently hard at work to establish The Whirlwind Center on Chicago's South Side.
Free events at the Poetry Foundation Reading for Young People: Naomi Shihab Nye
Special reading for teenagers with
Get the Next 12 Issues Event information and registration at poetryfoundation.org/events Young People’s Poet Laureate Naomi Shihab Nye.
Saturday, October 17, 11:00 AM
of the Chicago Reader Open Door Series Online: Rebecca Morgan Frank & Reading for Young People: Carson Ellis
Delivered to Your Home Elizabeth Metzger Sampson Halloween family reading with Carson Ellis,
author and illustratorof the bestselling
Highlighting Chicago’s outstanding writing programs
chicagoreader.com/
Tuesday, October 20, 7:00 PM picture book Du Iz Tak?
Saturday, October 31, 12:00 PM
support
ll OCTOBER 15, 2020 - CHICAGO READER 11MENTAL HEALTH
CHANGING THE CONVERSATION
ney told me. “We had a lot . . . a lot of dona-
tions everywhere. We had people coming in,
‘If they cannot
going out, coming in, all with donations. And
now, we’re at the point we need to be.”
I spoke to Wade over Zoom in August,
shortly after she stepped back into her role
as executive director after maternity leave. “I
was talking to my partner while he was driv-
hear you when
ing,” Wade said. She was multitasking on our
call. Her camera was off and I could hear her
cooing to her crying baby between respons-
es. “It was a few weeks before the [Trans
Liberation March] happened, and I was like, ‘I
know for a fact that a collective cannot really
hold a structural power complex, especially
you whisper,
a nonprofit, accountable.’ I thought, ‘I need
to create something different.’” Wade was
inspired by a study on “brave spaces” that
she had participated in during college. She
dubbed the new nonprofit Brave Space Alli-
ance. “It really hit the ground running,” she
said.
watch when you
“For a long time, LaSaia had been talking
about how there’s so little space for trans
people, especially Black trans people, in the
world of LGBTQ centers,” said Stephanie
Skora, a white, Jewish, genderqueer lesbian
trans woman, who is now BSA’s associate
say a cuss word’
executive director. Wade hired Skora shortly
after founding the organization. She was
the acting executive director when we spoke
on Zoom in early August, when Wade was
still on maternity leave. I paused for my next
question while she took bites of her sand-
wich, in what I’m sure was a precious lunch
break. “When it comes to organizations that
are actually designed to serve trans folks and
Black and trans activists build networks of support and mutual aid at Brave Space Alliance. center the lives of Black trans people, there’s
nothing,” Skora said. “LaSaia saw that gap.
By FRANCESCA MATHEWES She saw that need.”
For Wade, BSA has not only been a project
to serve the needs of Black and trans folks,
but to demonstrate what her communities
F
lood’s Hall is a nondescript building Brave Space Alliance (BSA) is the fi rst and room. The space felt comfortable and pro- are capable of when given opportunity and
in Hyde Park, next to the back patio of only Black- and trans-led community center fessional, an office environment with a warm resources. “We’re able to hire trans people to
Mellow Yellow restaurant, that houses on Chicago’s south side. The organization, hum of activity. I imagined that normally the do this amazing work, where they have been
nonprofit offices. I visited on a hot day in Au- which was founded in 2017 by LaSaia Wade, halls would be bustling with employees and displaced by other organizations and told
gust, sweating under my cloth mask. There an Afro-Puerto Rican Indigenous trans community members, arms full of groceries they’re not capable,” Wade said.
was a sticky note plastered to the front door, woman, has grown exponentially in the past and clipboards keeping track of supplies. Skora said BSA is an abolitionist orga-
instructing people to bring donations to the year and expanded its food pantry program Instead, because of the pandemic, it’s a little nization that doesn’t work with the police,
third floor. and mutual aid network to include thousands quiet—just a few employees keeping things “founded on the values of mutual aid and
I exited the elevator and was greeted by in the city, moved into a permanent office, running. community good and collective liberation.”
a vibrant office. A colorful mural of Sky Cu- launched an $800,000 fundraising cam- Bags of groceries, tampons, soap, hand BSA’s vision is to empower Black and Brown
bacub, a nonbinary, queer, disabled, Filipinx paign, and hired two new full-time staffers. sanitizer, baby supplies, and other essential trans folks with what they need to be brave,
activist, organizer, and founder of Rebirth BSA Office Manager Courtney McKinney, items were stacked on shelves and floors. It to carve their own spaces in a world where
Garments, covered the wall. This was, with- who connected with Wade through Chicago’s was a full-blown mutual aid operation. their safety is systemically compromised.
out a doubt, the right place. ballroom scene, walked me from room to “When I fi rst came? It was hectic,” McKin- “BSA has meant turning the tables, it’s
12 CHICAGO READER - OCTOBER 15, 2020 llMENTAL HEALTH
meant showing that we can be a model of leadership. That’s what I want to challenge.” has disproportionately impacted Black and Wade said the way to keep expanding and
change,” Wade said. “It’s meant showing that “But people saw us,” said Skora. “People Latinx communities in Chicago. The orga- accomplishing these goals is to “go in with
we can be the tip of the arrow while everyone saw the mission. Slowly but surely the money nization launched the Trans Relief Fund, guns blazing.” “What we’re seeing now is
else is behind it. The method of organizing started to come in.” Skora said the organiza- which mobilized to assist trans individuals over 400-some years of demanding change
and the way people have made systems has tion launched with $5,000 and ended the year with getting microgrants, food, and other and nothing happening,” she said. “So I have
failed us. And they need to go back to the with $50,000. BSA has sought to not only be a essentials within days. By Skora’s count, BSA to change the strategy. We tell people—and
drawing board.” center for resources like food or microgrants, distributed over $120,000 before becoming this is so important, it’s imperative—if they
Black and Brown trans folks “don’t need to but has manifested “a seat at the table of completely overwhelmed with requests. The cannot hear you when you whisper, watch
rely on the charity or the benevolence of cis power in order to advocate for the needs of Crisis Pantry had similar success, servicing when you say a cuss word, the whole conver-
people,” said Skora. “We can have our own Black trans people.” Soon after moving into 3,000 individuals in its fi rst two months. sation changes.” She continued. “It goes right
organizations; we should have our own or- the Hyde Park office in October 2019, BSA was And in late May when protests erupted into ‘Why are you being belligerent?’ ‘Why
ganizations. When we’re given our due, when awarded a grant from Gilead Pharma to run after the police killing of George Floyd in are you against us?’” she said. “Now you have
we’re given proper access to everything that their HIV prevention program, which is based Minneapolis, BSA expanded the food pantry become the enemy because you are demand-
trans people are owed . . . we can thrive.” on a mutual aid network. “Black and Brown and aided demonstrators with necessary ing your life to be sustainable.”
BSA has not been spared the systemic ineq- trans people are systemically underhoused supplies. The organization has also assisted The vision for BSA’s future is about impart-
uities and oppressions. The organization was or unhoused people,” Skora said. “They have in jail support efforts alongside other activ- ing, empowering, and uniting individuals to
forced out of multiple offices before landing to worry about whether or not they have a ist organizations, like Black Lives Matter take on these challenges. “It’s the complete
in Hyde Park. “It’s about people trusting roof over their head or whether they can feed Chicago and the Black Abolitionist Network. act of changing the narrative when we talk
trans people and acknowledging that I’m themselves, rather than whether or not they BSA is also fi nalizing a telehealth service in about the particular bravery you need when
a whole human. I’m a whole human with a have HIV.” which people will be able to remotely access you step in particular spaces,” Wade said. She
master’s degree,” Wade said. “I’m not a child. BSA’s existing foothold in the community therapists to receive referrals for hormone paused, took a breath. “It’s about, ‘How brave
And because they’re fascinated with my and mutual aid network made it possible therapy, gender changes on forms of ID, and do I have to be to be in this space?’” v
transition, and not my personhood, I become to pivot and expand programming during other services specific to the needs of trans
an object to fantasize over and not to trust in the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, which people. @franimal10
Drug & Alcohol
Addiction Treatment
24/7 Admissions | Master’s-Level Clinicians
Evidence-Based Treatment
AT S T. C H A R L E S
Recovery Centers of America (RCA) is a network of neighborhood-based addiction
treatment centers providing individualized, evidence-based care. RCA has eight inpatient
facilities located in Massachusetts, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and now
St. Charles, Illinois. RCA treatment centers have been named by Newsweek Magazine
as the Best Addiction Treatment Centers of 2020 in their states.
ACCEPTING PATIENTS AT OUR NEW
ST. CHARLES LOCATION
Call today: 888-964-0244 | recoverycentersofamerica.com
*All patients tested for COVID-19*
ll OCTOBER 15, 2020 - CHICAGO READER 13MENTAL HEALTH
MEDICAL PANIC reassurance should mean something, but it illness), generalized anxiety disorder, and
You’re going to be OK
doesn’t. You’re back to googling, trying to find obsessive-compulsive disorder, to name a few.
a workaround because even though you know With COVID, health anxiety can manifest in
Dealing with health anxiety during COVID and beyond in your head somewhere that you probably are different ways. “People who have panic disor-
OK, the louder part of your brain is scared of der are almost constantly scanning their bod-
By RIMA PARIKH what happens if you’re not. ies, looking for symptoms and then worrying
I’ve experienced anxiety around my health if those are COVID symptoms,” says Vas.
for a long time. It was only within the last few During the pandemic, health anxiety has
H
ere is how you explain to a doctor that, Here is where I’m feeling cold. Then, before the years that I put a name to it. Whenever I’m been complicated by the fact that there is a
despite the fact that you seem OK and doctor can tell you to wait a few days to see worrying excessively about my health, being legitimate threat of a scary illness, especially
are not visibly dying, you do have a if it gets better, you slip in a few conjectures able to remind myself that my symptoms are when factoring in one’s personal level of
rare illness that requires immediate medical on what you think it is, based on your careful of anxiety lets me acknowledge that there is risk. Many people are having COVID anxiety,
attention. You do it calmly, because if you re- research. You throw in an “I think it could be something wrong, but also that there’s a solu- but some people are experiencing it more
veal that you’re freaking out, then they’ll know . . .” or a “Maybe it’s . . .” so that you don’t tion to the problem. severely in terms of worries over catching
you’re a lunatic. Panicking is intimate; it’s sound too confident, and the doctor doesn’t Health anxiety is not a categorized disorder the virus. This worry leads to people taking
meant for the close friends and family, if any, think you’re crazy. The doctor explains why in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of extreme measures—for example, not leaving
that you’ve been frenetically recounting your both of your self-prescribed diagnoses are un- Mental Disorders (DSM). Rather, it’s anxiety the house at all. “That baseline concern is
symptoms to as they talk you down. You ex- likely or impossible, based on your symptoms. that’s health related that can show up in differ- pretty normative, but when we’re thinking
plain your symptoms with detailed precision: You protest, but not too much—panic is not ent types of disorders, according to Dr. Shona about health anxiety, we’re thinking about
when they started, which symptoms started for the doctor, and plus, the last time you pan- Vas, an associate professor of psychiatry and something that really gets in the way of people
on which day. You point to every inkling of a icked at the doctor, she got stressed out, pre- behavioral neuroscience at the University being able to think or function. When you’re
physical symptom: Here’s where the rash was. scribed you Xanax and left the room—but the of Chicago. It can manifest in panic disorder taking measures that in your mind are safety
Here’s where the swelling is a little bit right doctor sees where you’re going and lets you (i.e., feeling physical symptoms of anxiety precautions, but they’re safety precautions
now, but when I’m home sometimes it’s worse. know, sometimes gently, that you’re OK. This and believing that those are symptoms of an that cause notable inconvenience or notable
14 CHICAGO READER - OCTOBER 15, 2020 llMENTAL HEALTH
VALERIE VON RUBIO
that these are symptoms I have when I feel weird medical emergencies, why isn’t there why I don’t have insurance and then charge me
anxious, it’s still hard to not imagine the worst another website where people share stories thousands of dollars to tell me to wait it out.
disruption of your day-to-day activities, case scenario. about times they felt normal after an Advil? I waited it out. Eventually, after a few days of
then that’s when we would consider it to be A few weeks ago, I hit my head against a When I feel health anxiety, it’s like I’m certainty that my head wasn’t getting worse,
excessive,” says Dr. Inger Burnett-Zeigler, an towel rack in my bathroom. I like to think drowning in a swimming pool full of syrup, I relaxed. Finally, I could watch 90 Day Fiancé
associate professor of psychiatry and behav- it happened because I am a beautiful, leggy the viscous liquid oozing into my ears and without wondering whether my last words
ioral sciences at Northwestern University who model who is too tall to keep from getting nose and between my fingers, a warm familiar would be, “Oh my god, this bitch is making a
practices through Northwestern Medicine. In attacked by bathroom fixtures, even though feeling that reminds me this has happened huge mistake.”
her experience, individuals who are at higher it’s actually because I do not watch where before—a strange comfort—yet still paralyzes I am lucky. I have a boyfriend who will
risk experience COVID-related health anxiety I’m going. After it happened, one side of my me. I’m scared that I will die. I am convinced research WebMD for me when I don’t trust
the most aggressively. “There are people who nose started dripping (hot, I know), and I self- that it’s happening. I imagine the ways the in- myself to be alone with my brain, and talk me
are in circumstances where they have not been diagnosed it using my degree from the side of my head is dripping, pieces of my brain down when I feel myself getting dizzy and
able to work from home, or they have preex- WebMD School of Medicine. I called my getting ready to slither down to the inside of choking on air. I have cousins, who, even if they
isting health conditions,” she says. “So when cousins who are doctors, who asked: “Did you my nose. And the second part is vindication. I don’t know exactly how to address the symp-
you take into account their personal circum- pass out?” “Do you have a headache?” “Do want to be right. I want something to be wrong toms, can give me advice on what I should do
stances, and consider that as their trigger for you have a fever?” The answer to all of them so that I can prove that I wasn’t out of my next. I don’t go to my cousins unless I really
an increase in anxiety, I wouldn’t necessarily was “no,” which meant they weren’t worried. mind, and that what I was feeling was real, and have to, because even though they are always
consider that excessive.” I imagined Technicolor liquids dripping and that everyone was wrong to doubt me. Health there to help, I also know that you can only
oozing and falling through my nasal passage- anxiety can be all-consuming and simulta- cry wolf so many times before you stop being
T
he first time I experienced health ways, dripping down my throat and into my neously absurd. When I’m panicking about taken seriously. Instead, I go to my checklist:
anxiety was in the third grade, when I my health, it initially feels very scary, and then Did you drink water? Did you get enough
told my pediatrician that I didn’t feel it feels both scary and normal. My inner mono- sleep? Did you take deep breaths? Is your nose
like my head was connected to my body. She I’M AFRAID OF THE logue adjusts to what it thinks a woman who is stuffy because your brain’s falling out of it, or
suggested that I eat more ice cream. There
was a second time somewhere around then IDEA THAT ONE about to die sounds like: Oh, I’m so excited for
my haircut! Would you be a little more gentle
do you have allergies? Are you drowsy because
you’re losing consciousness due to a parasitic
too, when I had what I described as an un-
ending stomachache. The time after that was
DAY, SOMETHING with my left temple? I bumped my head recent-
ly and now I’m going to die.
worm squatting in your kidney, or because
you drank a glass of wine immediately after
in the fifth grade, after a few stray headaches WILL HAPPEN TO Vas believes there are two main factors taking an allergy pill? Your body is smart, and
convinced me I had brain cancer. I remember that pertain to health anxiety that are height- if there’s something that’s really, really wrong,
drinking a tall styrofoam cup full of a thick, ME AND I WILL ened with the threat of COVID. The first is you’ll know. Sometimes it’s easy to hyperven-
bland liquid to prep for a CT scan. The nurse
comforted me, saying, “You’re going to be OK.”
NOT BE PREPARED. uncertainty. “Uncertainty, in general, is not
something that we like as human beings. We
tilate after reading the article about how you
can die hours after a head injury; it’s harder to
I felt guilty that she didn’t know that this was
just part of the rotation. She didn’t know that I
IT WILL REAR want to know. We want to be able to make a
plan. And what we do know about it is that it
focus on the fine print that says that you’d feel
really, really bad before something like that
was in there because I had begged my mom to ITS HEAD WHEN is, for specific groups of people, a very dan- would happen.
take me, that I had protested against my pedi-
atrician’s assessment that there was nothing I’M NOT PAYING gerous and scary disease.” The second is the
lack of control we have over the situation.
In therapy, Burnett-Zeigler works with
patients to assess the risk involved in getting
wrong with me.
It would always start with something in-
ATTENTION, WHICH “Because we don’t know how to manage this
in general, and we also can’t control other
a rare illness, “helping someone to see that
the likelihood of that outcome manifesting is
nocuous—a headache, a suspicious bruise, an IS WHY I ALWAYS people’s behavior, it makes us more anxious,” rare and to reframe their worry, and then use
especially visible vein. Then, the others would she adds. Vas explains that taking precautions that alternative thinking in the moment when
follow: dizziness, increased heart rate, feeling NEED TO BE PAYING varies based on one’s own individual risk, and that intense fear or worry turns up,” she says.
hot, feeling cold, my fingers and toes swelling
and burning. I’d go to my campus health cen-
ATTENTION. the best thing to do is to follow public health
guidelines.
For people who don’t have access to therapy,
Burnett-Zeigler recommends mindfulness,
ter; I’d text pictures of rashes to my cousins It is the uncertainty that scares me, both which involves paying attention to how the
who were doctors; I’d spend hours worrying. stomach, infecting my intestines, colluding with COVID and general health anxiety. I’m body reacts to stress and figuring out what
I had a hard time believing that mental health in my bowels. Weeks later, I couldn’t stop afraid of the idea that one day, something will triggers it in order to better respond when
was real then. I thought that anxiety was googling cerebrospinal fluid—or, as I affec- happen to me and I will not be prepared. It will that stressor comes up. “People with anxiety
something that rich kids at my predominantly tionately called it, brain juice—wondering if rear its head when I’m not paying attention, feel like they’re worried all the time when in
white university made up, and that I wasn’t there was any chance that a head injury from which is why I always need to be paying atten- fact, there are specific peaks and valleys to
soft like them. If it were real, you could see it. three weeks ago could leave time for a brain tion. When my brain tries to convince me that that worry,” she says. “If the person can identi-
When my fingers would swell up like little red leak, and if it had been happening the whole this is true, I try to take a step back. Like Vas fy those peaks and valleys, then in the moment
blimps, a patchy rash spreading across my arm time, and that my brain was running out of and Burnett-Zeigler both say, assessing the when there’s a peak, we can really dive into
and chest, my head clouded with dizziness and stuff to slosh in, and that I was dying very, very likelihood of a risk is important. What are the that and see and use those mindfulness tools,
my heart racing, I would take that as confirma- slowly—despite my only symptom being a chances that I have a rare illness? Not a ton. I use those body relaxation tools, to really work
tion that I had a rare illness that was so rare, minor headache, and even though my cousins reasoned with myself: what would a doctor with how anxiety manifests in the body.” v
no doctor would think to diagnose it unless I and the Internet told me this was impossible. do? A doctor would tell me to wait it out to see
did the research first. Even though I know now For every forum full of people detailing their if it gets worse. What would the ER do? Ask me @rimaparikh12
ll OCTOBER 15, 2020 - CHICAGO READER 15You can also read
