Creating Friendships for Peace, Inc - TEEN FAMILY HANDBOOK
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Creating Friendships for Peace, Inc.
TEEN FAMILY HANDBOOK
People UNITED in countries divided
CFP is a volunteer grassroots organization whose mission is to promote and strengthen friendships between teens from
divided communities and extend those friendships to their families and friends. The friendships are developed through home
stays with American families. Each family hosts two teens – one from each side of a conflict. The teen pair shares a
bedroom and learns about each other, understanding their different perspectives and realizing that friendships can develop
despite significant political and cultural differences. With friendship, an atmosphere is created that allows for mutual
respect and understanding – a key ingredient for peace.
1Welcome to Creating Friendships for Peace (CFP)!
This document will provide the information promise to spend at least a year, and
you need to know about Creating Friendships hopefully more, working on bi-communal
for Peace before applying to the program. efforts through CFP and JPB.
We hope it will be very clear that CFP is not a
travel agency! We are an all-volunteer peace Creating Friendships for Peace is a wonderful
building and leadership training program for opportunity for teenagers to learn about the
teenagers, promoting bi-communal other community and about themselves.
friendships and activities for them and their Through CFP activities, CFP teens learn new
families and friends. Through these skills and try new challenges. They begin to
friendships and activities, fear is replaced by consider things from different perspectives
trust and mutual respect. Teens applying to and focus on what unites people rather than
the program should want to meet and what divides them. They realize that each
become friends with members of the other one of us can make a difference and that
community. Teens accepted to the program together we can accomplish much.
Background:
From Catholic and Protestant youth to Turkish speaking and Greek speaking Cypriot youth
Creating Friendships for Peace is modeled a Cypriot team of coordinators. In 2012, the
after the Children’s Friendship Project for U.S. non-profit organization of Cyprus
Northern Ireland (CFPNI), a U.S. based all- Friendship Program, Inc. (CFP Inc.) was
volunteer peace and friendship building formed to guide the entire program and
program that successfully brought more than manage the program in the U.S. In 2018 the
2,000 Protestant and Catholic teens in U.S. organization changed its name to
Northern Ireland, as well as their families and Creating Friendships for Peace as a way to
friends, together throughout its 21 year recognize its growth to become a global peace
existence. CFPNI came to its successful building organization. The program in Cyprus
completion in 2007. is managed by a bi-communal team of Cypriot
coordinators. The two all-volunteer groups
CFPNI volunteers then began the bi- cooperate harmoniously and are driven by the
communal Cyprus Friendship Program in 2009 same passion to promote a culture of
as a pilot program of a small U.S. non-profit peaceful coexistence.
organization called HasNa in cooperation with
CFP in Israel & Palestine
In Israel and Palestine, CFP is partnering with community, to become better acquainted
Jerusalem Peacebuilders to enhance their U.S. with each other through living with an
camp programs. CFP’s contribution to the American family for two weeks. This home
partnership is to provide opportunities for stay can occur before or after their JPB camp,
pairs of JPB campers, one from each depending on various factors. Our experience
2in Northern Ireland and in Cyprus has shown service and the environment – both topics
that this home stay usually results in stronger that bring us together as people who care for
friendships between the teen pairs and that each other and for our planet. Cypriot teen
these friendships often extend to their pairs will also be living with American families
parents and friends as they interact with each in the same areas, providing opportunities for
other as a result of the friendship of their sharing viewpoints and perspectives.
children.
American hosting areas include Washington,
CFP has multiple hosting areas where DC; New Hampshire; San Francisco, CA;
American families will host the teens. Each Portland, Oregon/SW Washington state; and
area has an Area Coordinator who selects the Maui, Hawaii. CFP determines where teens
host families and organizes group activities will be located based on multiple factors.
that will be an extension of their camp Teens and/or their families cannot request a
curriculum. The group activities include social specific area. Also, not all areas may be used
events and work projects on community each year.
CFP in U.S.
All the coordinators of the program in the and organizes the group activities. The U.S.
U.S., as well as the board members of CFP Coordinators are always looking for new areas
Inc., offer their services on a purely voluntary to add to the program. While some areas are
basis. No one gets paid for the time they rural and others are cities, regardless of
commit to this program. This also applies to where the teens go, the general program of
the host families in the U.S. who cover most each area is the same and the host families
of the expenses of hosting the two share an interest in world peace.
teenagers.
To be considered, host families must be able
Creating Friendships for Peace does not get to provide:
any financial support from nor is it dependent
on any political party. It does not receive any ● A demonstrated commitment to making a
funding from governments. All program funds difference in the world for peace
are donated by individuals, charitable ● A politically and religiously neutral home
foundations or Rotary Clubs. ● A safe home with daylong adult
supervision
HOW THE U.S. PROGRAMME IS OPERATED ● A bedroom for the teens to share
● A willingness to continue the relationship
The Board of CFP Inc. elects a CFP Executive with their teens
Director who, for two years, coordinates the
operations of the U.S. program. The current There is an application process for all
Executive Director is Tammy Haas, who has American hosts consisting of an informational
served our program previously as the Area interview, a written application, a criminal
Coordinator in Oregon/SW Washington region background check, and a home visit. Both the
and she and her husband have also hosted Area Coordinator and the Executive Director
teens in 2012. Each region has an Area screen and approve the hosts before they are
Coordinator who recruits the host families
3accepted. American host profiles are sent by their participation in CFP and teens should not
the Executive Director to the Area make demands.
Coordinators who then match each pair of
teens with a host family in the U.S. The Teens will form relationships with their
matching is done using criteria like gender, partner, but they will also form a bond with
common interests and hobbies, comfort levels their hosts. This requires a willingness to
with pets, etc. commit to learning a new culture. Their hosts
have opened their homes for a variety of
Once a match is made between the pair and reasons – to participate in a global peace
an American host(s), the families will receive process, to support teen leadership, and to
contact information from the Area learn about other cultures. The families are
Coordinator, the pair’s American host, and not signing up to be tour guides or to offer a
the Executive Director. Both the families in vacation to teens who simply want to visit the
Israel and Palestine and the teens, while in U.S. While families will want to expose the
the U.S., must keep these contact details with teens to highlights of their region, the teens
them in case any problem arises. Similarly, should be prepared to fit into the families’
the American hosts will receive contact daily lives and adjust to the hosts’ routines
information for the teens and their parents. and rules. This may involve household chores
At this point, the American hosts and the or participating in family activities. It should
teens and parents can start communicating by be noted that, just as every family is a bit
email, telephone, Facebook, and/or Skype. different, so it is with the U.S. hosts.
While the teens are in the U.S., hosts are TRAVELING WITHIN THE U.S.
requested to treat the teenagers as family
members, not as tourists on holiday. Teens All the teens travel with experienced
will take part in their hosts’ normal family chaperones who are usually American CFP
summer activities. Each pair’s experience will Coordinators. The great team of volunteers in
vary according to the host with whom they the U.S. includes our two transportation
are placed. Teens need to remember that the coordinators, Kim Bell and Dianna Cook.
primary mission of the program is to During the journeys the chaperones are in
experience living with a fellow youth leader contact with Kim and Dianna who are
from the opposite side of the divide. To be available on a 24 hour basis taking turns to
sure, the hosts will want to show them special ensure that they are available to help in case
aspects of where they live, but the purpose of any problem arises. Messages are sent to JPB
the program is for peace building and staff who, in turn, inform by email the
leadership training, not entertainment. parents. The same monitoring and messages
are done for the teens’ return flights.
While in the U.S., the hosts cover most
everyday living expenses of the teenagers. ACTIVITIES DURING THE U.S. HOMESTAY
There will be times when teens will have to
pay for their own activities, e.g., a movie they In each of the areas where the teens go, the
attend, extra food they may want, optional Area Coordinator plans a number of group
group trips or shopping. Host families, like activities. In addition to the connection
everyone else in the U.S., do not get paid for between the pairs and their host families
there is also the opportunity for strong group
4connections to be formed between all the consequences up to and including returning
teens in each area. The group of teens in the back to JPB and removal from the CFP
same area meet for activities that are program.
meaningful, educational and also great fun!
Starting in 2019 the teens will be engaging Money matters
with teens from another country or countries
who are part of the US organization. Each teen can only bring to the U.S. a
Typically, the activities aim to inspire our maximum of $500 (U.S. dollars). This amount
teens how to become leaders in peace is higher than JPB’s limit of $300, but has
building, how to be sensitive and help others been enough in the past for CFP teens to
less fortunate than us, how to be responsible purchase gifts for family members and extras
citizens of the world and care for the for themselves, as well as pay for some of the
environment. Group activities include team optional activities in their areas. This rule
building, conflict resolution workshops, must be strictly observed to give monetary
community service, and environmental equality to all participants. Problems will be
awareness projects. created if a teen brings a much larger amount
than his or her pair or if a teen has more
IMPORTANT CFP RULES AND WHY spending money than the children of the host
family. Needless to say, credit/debit or gift or
A CFP teen is an ambassador for all of us in prepaid cash cards are not allowed. The
CFP and for the program. The host families teens will have the opportunity to shop at
are informed about all the rules and expect malls, but this is not the reason they are in
the teens to follow them. In the American the U.S. If teens were allowed to bring large
culture, rules are taken very seriously and amounts of money for shopping, the host
host families would find it very difficult to families would think they were not here for
understand if their teen guests break the peace building and were taking advantage of
rules. The host families make a massive the host family’s time and generosity. This
commitment to CFP by opening their home to could reflect poorly on CFP by making
a pair from a far-away land, cover most of the Americans not wish to host. This would be
costs of their stay, take them to special especially true when some hosts have made
places, treat them like members of their own personal sacrifices to be able to host. So,
family so that they will have a great time and teens are not allowed to buy for themselves,
make a contribution to peace in their home or for their friends, electronic devices or
countries. So, if the teens break the few but other expensive presents they may have
important rules they have agreed to follow, been asked to bring back home!
they are reflecting poorly on themselves, their
country, those who have donated to support Finally, a great advantage of this expectation
this program and the CFP Programme as a is that the teens will develop the life skill of
whole. The conditions of participation in CFP making and managing a budget for a month.
are designed so that everyone involved has a
wonderful experience. Host families and U.S. Communications with family/friends
Coordinators do not want to have the
additional role of policing the enforcement of The main reason for the teens going to the
or negotiating the nuances of these rules. To U.S. is to connect with their pair, their host
be clear, breaking of the rules will result in family, and the bigger group of teens who will
5be in the same area and to enjoy the ● If families are at any time concerned and
uniqueness of peaceful coexistence which is need more news, they can communicate
so rare back home. For this reason it is directly with the host family by email or
important to put some reasonable limits with other means.
communication back home and the use of the
internet. At the same time the CFP team What is NOT allowed:
respects the right and concern of the families
to have news from their children. To keep a ● Mobile phones are strictly not allowed
balance between these two objectives some and should be held by the host parents
things are allowed and some are not. during the home stay. They will be
returned upon departure. Since many
What IS allowed: now use their phones as cameras, we
suggest bringing a digital camera for
● As soon as the teens arrive in the host picture taking.
family's home they can make one short ● Use of Facebook and other social media.
phone call back home to tell their parents ● The teenager is not permitted to use
they arrived. other electronic devices whether it can
● A couple of days after their arrival, the be connected to the internet or not (i-
teens can use Skype or WhatsApp to talk pods, tablets, android devices, mp-players
to their families so they will all feel more and so on). These, too, should be held by
comfortable and relieved from anxiety. the host parents and returned upon
One more Skype or WhatsApp departure.
communication will be allowed after this ● Depending on the severity, failure to
point – usually at the weekend or comply with these rules may result in
whenever it is convenient for all involved. consequences, including not awarding the
● The CFP organizers strongly recommend CFP graduation certificate.
that one of the Skype calls is done at a
time when the two families can meet and These rules may initially seem hard for
have a meal together. teenagers (and their families), especially since
● The use of YouTube may be allowed but they differ with JPB’s rules. But camp
only as a social event between the teens experience and home stays are different
and the host family and only with environments, teaching different things. The
permission from the host family. The teens who have already been through the
teens can participate in online activities program will testify to the fact that, once in
according to the host family rules. For the U.S., the CFP teens will be happily busy
example, if host family teens watch with all the activities of their group and with
YouTube videos, then so can the CFP their host families that they will not miss any
teens. Often times, the host families and of these devices. Furthermore, parents who
teens sit down together and use Google are worried that their children spend too
maps of different places or current events much time on Facebook and the mobile
as part of their conversations. The crucial phone may appreciate that this would be a
factor in this use of technology is that it is very healthy break and that the teens will be
part of a social event with the host family busy with all kinds of meaningful and also fun
(not a social connection with friends/ experiences.
family back home).
6How the Program Works
● Teenagers from both communities, age 15 with or without children as well as a
to 18 years old, apply through Jerusalem married couple with or without children)
Peacebuilders to participate in the in the United States, sharing a bedroom
program. to themselves for a two-week residential
● A series of meetings, with facilitated stay.
workshop activities, take place that focus ● It also allows them to experience a
on leadership, communication, country where many differing cultures
reconciliation and peace building skills. and religions live together in peace.
● At the end of the workshops, each teen ● Typically strong bonds of friendship also
chooses one person from the ‘other side’ build between the teens and their host
of the same gender with whom he/she family that last well beyond the summer.
feels comfortable. Most often, that bonding occurs in such
● The relationships of friendship and trust informal settings as watching a movie
created between the teenagers are together or when teens are casually
typically very strong. They begin to be talking in their room prior to falling
formed before boarding the plane to the asleep.
U.S. since the selection process is ● Another important aim of the home stay
completed by April. It is strengthened is to further advance leadership and
during their month abroad and continues peace building skills which had been
after their return home. promoted during the program activities
● The families of each 'pair' also get that occurred in the JPB camp. This is
connected with equally strong bonds. It is done through four formal program
only normal that the parents of each activities during the home stay (team
teenager would be interested to meet the building, conflict resolution training,
young person from the other community community service, and environmental
that their child has chosen to be a awareness).
roommate. It is equally normal to have ● CFP is currently seeking Israeli and
the wish to meet the family of this child. Palestinian CFP coordinators who will
Very often the circle becomes bigger with work with JPB staff to organize activities
grandparents, uncles and aunts. There are and projects all year round. The aim of
typically many meetings of the two Creating Friendships for Peace is to
families in Cyprus even during the month spread the message that reconciliation is
when their children are in the U.S. We possible and that these young people are
hope the same will happen in living examples of this truth.
Israel/Palestine. ● In October a CFP Graduation occurs. After
● In the summer, each pair of teenagers graduating, each participant is
lives with a host family (it is possible the encouraged to continue to participate in
family consists of a single man or woman CFP bi-communal activities.
7Contact Information
Israeli/Palestinian Coordinators
Name Phone No. Email Address
U.S. Coordinators
Tammy Haas Executive Director haas@friendships4peace.org
Wendy Acosta Maui Area Coordinator wendya@friendships4peace.org
Kim Bell Transportation Coordinator kimb@friendships4peace.org
Dianna Cook Transportation Coordinator diannac@friendships4peace.org
Bo Dean New Hampshire Area Coordinator bod@friendships4peace.org
Oregon/SW Washington Area
Melody Stone melodys@friendships4peace.org
Coordinator
Tom McCarthy Maryland Area Coordinator tomm@friendships4peace.org
Becky Stirn San Francisco Area Coordinator beckys@friendships4peace.org
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